DVDVR BOOZE REVIEW #20!

[Guest DEAN RASMUSSEN]

[Your beloved RICHMOND BOOZE SOCIETY BOOZE REVIEW #20!] Dean creates a six-pack and brings home the LEGEND PALE ALE! RED HILL! YOUNG'S OATMEAL STOUT! SIERRA NEVADE PORTER! WARSTEINER! and give Mobjack Red Ale and Black Radish Dark Lager another s

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For reasons I won`t mention, we came into a slight bulge in our bank account so we figured we`d whizz it away on overpriced booze and strombolis. I went to Ellwood Thompson`s and they were actually having a taste testing with the Virginia brewmeisters from Star Hill brewery. I`m assuming this was actually violating Virginia state law so I was deeply into this. I told the brewmeister that I had tried some of his wares at the Mid-Atlantic Beer Festival a year and a half ago and he tells me how this is the best brew in Virginia. I didn`t have the heart to tell him how thoroughly the Legend Porter from Richmond smokes whatever he can conjure. It`s still a fine little Pale Ale. I`ll get to it in a few.

 

We first took another swig of the controversial and extremely odd Mobjack Red Ale which doesn`t taste nearly as weird this go round. Kinda Redhook-esque actually in it`s overly dry taste that I`m no fan of, but it was much better than the first time I drank of the BREW of the Henrico County, Virginia. On deck, I pour out the Legend Pale Ale that Frank The Elder Statesman of the Richmond Booze Society has fallen head over in heels in love with. It is a sassy brew- filled will a bizarre fruity sensation- like someone took a Sam Adams lager and soaked orange peels in it. Except not as repulsive as that. It`s a happy little taste and I will wait at least three beers to destroy it`s memory with the Oatmeal Stout. I don`t taste a huge wad of alcohol, but I`m guessing it`s prolly 6%-ish. Not bad for something brewed on the Southside of Richmond, but not as divine as their porter- but is a good approximation of one of those cask-conditioned ales that make the boozefiends go all drooly and adjectivey. I will drink the pint+6oz right now. Mmmm... that`s mellow. And since this isn`t a Ted Nugent concert from 1976, I won`t get the fuck out of here. I will search for some of that Nashville pussy he dedicates ``Cat Scratch Fever`` to. God, the more you drink it, the more it attempts to develop multi-facets. If one of those facets isn`t 11% alcohol, I can`t get overly excited. Yes, don`t try to catch up now, my little booze...

 

The Red Hill Pale Ale is better than the Legend Pale Ale because the Red Hill isn`t as flamboyantly fruity and is a more stern disciplinarian to you taste buds- as the alcohol and burlier beer tastes take more of the forefront and you don`t end up with that overly eager pale ale cottonmouth feeling when the swilling comes to an end.

 

My wife snakes 11 ounces of the 12 ounces of HEAVEN called the Sierra Nevada Porter. God, let me get the annulment papers in order because I can`t believe I am not drinking 12 of these. It`s a big taste- a manly lumberjack of a taste- with a syrupy smooth smokey axe over it`s shoulder as it walks side by side with a blue ox of full-blown caramel malty taste that could hide far more than the 5.6% up it`s ass. Bee-yoo-T-ful. Being a man who no longer wants to eat macaroni and cheese with tunafish mixed in every day, I let the wife drink the other 11 ounces and shut my big fat mouth. I glare quietly swallowing my rage en lieu of this fabulous brew.

 

I`ve dranken the Warsteiner before. I don`t remember ever wanting it again, but it`s been a while and it`s one of those German beer law beers that follows the brewing laws that let the US microbrewers move past the Germans in innovation. I mean, the divine Urbock isn`t a sanctioned beer under the brewing laws if I remember a drunken conversation with my friend Wolfgang (from Cologne) a year and a half ago at the same beer festioval where the Legend Porter was one that took the day over the Star Hill concoctions. Upon drinking the Warsteiner again, it`s a very agreeable beer- no real aftertaste or fun-loving combo taste, just a good pilsner taste. I just went to the Warminster USA site and I pretty much channeled the ad copy in describing the taste. The lack of aftertaste is prominent in the advertising. This isn`t a great beer or anything, but I could see drinking an entire keg of this without too much effort. Okay, that would mean that this is a great beer. For a beer that seems like it would be right at home rolling down a funnel into your mouth, it packs 4.8% which makes this the most dangerous beer on earth.

 

I haven`t had a Young`s Oatmeal Stout in forever and I`ve never had one from a can. It`s in the Murphy`s Irish/ Guinness Pub Draught be-widgeted can, so I`m gearing up for a pansy assed ``smooth draught`` version of the pretty balls out bottled version. Lemme pop it open. It`s dark as motor oil and has the chocolaty pub draft thing that all these widget-bedecked canned draught beers have. It makes it easier for overly fast drinking, so I`m guessing the Raven Mack- Dean Rasmussen Redskins vs Cowboy summit will involve gallons of Young`s Oatmeal Stout and gallons of Warminster. Beer dorks on the internet go on at length about how it retains it`s head. These guys would be beaten to death in a alley off Grayland Avenue if they were out drinking with the stoic, sullen, somber drunks of the Richmond Booze Society and made a statement as unmanly as that. You drink the beer there, Fauntleroy, not the head. It`s a got a nice taste, but it IS deeply a pussified version of the bottled Oatmeal Stout- but it`s not quite the Bailey`s Irish Creme Coffee Zambuie Tofu Surprise like it hints at, but it`s not the hulking stout that would make me want to grow a moustache and wear a helmet with horns on it or anything.

 

Lemme give some of this to the laaaady.... I`ll drink the Black Radish Dark tomorrow...

 

YOURS IN BOOZE.

 

DEAN.