Random Observations for August 31st

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(pasted from another thread)

 

Random Observations will be delayed until tomorrow night. Reason being that tomorrow is my friend's 18th birthday, and there will surely be LOTS to write about that since we're going to conquer Chuck E. Cheese for it. Plus, I'll have watched most, if not all, of the Hulk STILL Rules DVD, so I'll be able to offer a semi-review or recommend it to all. I already recommend it to everyone, and I'm just now delving into the second disc.

 

Plus, tomorrow will be TENNESSEE~!/Wyoming, where the VOLS~! will make Wyoming their personal bitches in Nashville in the opening shot of their National Championship campaign. Look forward to a sporting event wiht three generations of Spoons, since father and I are going to grandfather's to watch it. Spoons are based in the Knoxville area, so I was pretty much born with orange in my veins.

 

It WILL be up sometime after midnight tomorrow, because I have some E-fed roleplays to knock out also.

 

Just thought I'd give a heads-up for those who were curious, which means that I've managed to inform myself of something I was curious about.

 

Fo sheez,

Patrick Spoon

(Kotzenjunge)

[Guest Some Guy]

They let you into Chuck E. Cheese at 18 years old? When i was 14 or 15 my friend and I got stoned and went there and they told us we were too big and kicked us out.

I used to go a big ass Chuck E. Cheese in Danvers, Mass for B-Day parties when I was a little kid. They had a 3 or 4 ft deep ball pit and a bid ass Cheese Factory (an obsticle course/fun house type thing). Sometimes I miss being a kid.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Maybe you got kicked out for being stoned?

[Guest Some Guy]

That is likely a part of it, but I was about 5'10" or so when I was 15 and really was too big for the small ball pit they had at the Chuck E. Cheese we went to. This was not the one in Danvers that I spoke about.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

FINALLY!

 

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS FOR SEPTEMBER 1ST, SINCE THIS IS BEING DONE AT 2:20 AM

 

I know people are wondering how the birthday party went. Well, it wasn't really a party, it was me and Brendan and his girlfriend(my ex, who I can't stand really) going. We sparred on Cruis'n World, the thingie where you shoot the teeth out of the whatever-it-is's mouth, and I rocked the Skeeball. They even had the old TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES GAME~!!!!!!! We beat it, since we came in around the next to last stage, after letting little kids do all the work. Funny that so many kids were playing it, because they weren't even alive during the decline of, let alone the peak of Turtlemania. I had no money, so Brendan and Nellie ate, and I said how I was expected to eat during the game later. We watched the robot show way more intently than we probably should have. We also made up stuff for the robots and announcers to say, like this gem from Brendan:

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, here he is, a figure we all know and love..."

 

Brendan: "Jesus! Give him a hand!"

 

I died when he said that. Anyway, Nellie acted like a parasite the whole day. She's one of those girlfriends who needs to be touching the guy SOMEHOW all the time, as if if she lets go, she drops dead or something. I was thinking this was affection until I noticed how she needed his attention on her CONSTANTLY. Shit, even in the car when Brendan and I were jamming out to "Come Sail Away" on the radio, she kept poking him to get his attention again and again AND again to make him notice her. She even dropped the L-bomb at one point, but like a good boy, he didn't respond to it. Good job, Brendan. It's only been a month, and you know damn well it isn't going to last. DON'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT. She dropped the L-bomb on me the DAY AFTER we started going out. Imagine how cruddy I felt returning all of her affections without meaning them. Two-thirds of our time together was me trying to think of how to end it without killing the parasite, like when you try to flick bugs off as opposed to squashing them. Brendan is pretty similar to me, a little different though, and if it took me a month to get sick of her, I say he's got another month before he starts wondering how to get out of it. He's already told me there's stuff he won't talk about with her because the differences are too great.

 

Note to self: don't ask Brendan to read this week. Hopefully he'll forget. Brendan is Intimacy Goblin from the State days, by the way.

 

I could go on about the deficiencies with her, but I won't. Instead... BALL CAGE ACTION!!!!

 

The ball cage was actually made much smaller from when I was younger. It was the size of a medium-sized room before, and now it was like a walk-in closet, and the ceiling was very low. The little tube maze thing now went above the ball cage, so its roof was brought down from the eight feet it used to be to about four feet. In the ball cage, Nellie felt she had to keep throwing balls at me, and kept saying "I'm mad at you." She never told me what she was mad about in the three hours our group was together. I told her to stop throwing balls at me. She started hitting me in the face now, and she's throwing these things as hard as she can, and they sting unexpectedly badly. I told her, with many four year olds around, to stop throwing fucking balls at me because I was getting very pissed.

 

I should note that it's not that easy to get me mad, but with some people, I pass a certain point. This point is where I dislike or hate this person so much that I lose my original respect for them as a human being and lose mercy, with the only thing preventing me taking action is police action. These are people I wouldn't mind killing or beating within an inch of their life. When people pass this point, age and gender don't mean a damn. Nellie is at this point. Several others are past this point actually, but none of them have anything to do with this, so on I go.

 

Inside the tube maze(which I was able to fit into), my knees were killing me. I kept hitting the little ridges between tube segments. Anyways, I slid down the slide and went around to get in again. This time there was a little girl crying in one of the little portrusions where there was a steering wheel. She kept looking around and crying more. I guess her father thought we were the cause of this, despite us being nowhere near her at the time(but we could hear her). So we were told to get out by the angry parents. Brendan and I were obvious problems, both of us around six feet tall and 185 and 175 respectively, but Nellie is all of five feet tall(I won't divulge the weight, becuase I'm not really sure, I know it's north of 120 probably). Also, we weren't causing any trouble. And we were PAYING CUSTOMERS! We left after this.

 

Brendan dropped me off at home, and I no-sold Nellie's goodbyes to me. I got inside to hear that my father was on the way to pick me up for the Tennessee/Wyoming game, which we were going to watch at grandfather's house.

 

Unfortunately, little stepbrother was along, the product of my father's third marriage(me being the product of his first technically, even though my parents were married because of me). He's three years old. He is loud. He tries to break things. I can't wait until his bone structure can absorb beatings. That is all I will say about this, other than that he's already against me, saying I'm hurting him when I do so much as pick him up or grab his arm before he throws something. Typically, father believes the scheming three year old over the eighteen year old son.

 

Tennessee made Wyoming their bitch, 'nuff said. We've got Middle Tennessee State next week, and on September 21st, the BIGGIE against Florida in Knoxville.

 

My graduation/birthday present trip is taking shape. Here is the schedule:

 

September 11-14: Washington DC

September 14-19: New York City

 

No, not because of the time period am I going there. It was the plan the whole time, and flying is super-cheap during that time. In Washington I'll be staying in a hotel outside of Dulles airport, in New York I'm staying in Harlem, or so Dames tells me. I'm excited about Harlem. If I get in trouble, I'll beatbox my way out of the pickle.

 

In Washington, I'll get to see stuff I didn't get to see the other times I've been there, and see it all at my own pace, as well as mack Erica(known to all of you as the First Lady of the State, BarelyThere). I had her take some pictures for me to enclose in here, but ehh. I want to keep them to myself.

 

In New York, Dames has already volunteered to be my tour guide. We also had the idea of getting together all the NYC area SmartMarks for a neat real-life meeting or something. No idea where we'd do this, but I'm DYING to see how some of these people are in real life, like Anglesault. I envision a guy who's a smaller Kurt Angle(with hair) running around yelling about Angle's virtues and ripping up pictures of Trips.

 

I wonder how people envision me. Dames had to ask me if I was white or black. Funny stuff.

 

Anyways, we're going CLUBBIN', BAYBEE~! Dames seems inordinately excited to meet me. Note to self: wear ass shield.

 

Kidding Dames, you rule, man. For those curious, he isn't dead. He was just gone for a week with no internet access.

 

Now, for observations:

 

I think someone should make up a chart with the main eventers, upper-midcarders, midcarders, lower-midcarders, jobbers, and so on on the SmartMarks board. It'd be neat to see how we really rank, the gradual subtitles notwithstanding.

 

For those curious, I'm still a ring crew guy in my own mind.

 

OJ Hart or whatever his name is, you know, the guy telling us stories about hot tubs and devirginization and high school dances that are better than they have any right to be? Um, I lost my train of thought while thinking of what I want to happen to him, but I'm sure I'll be able to MAKE SOMETHING UP.

 

I apologize to anyone who was annoyed by my Kylie markdom since Thursday or so. The VMAs got me hype, what can I say? I was more animal than man... I wonder if Kylie likes rugged rough animalistic guys...

 

Which brings me to Guy Stokes. Whoever you are, stop. End the joke or evolve. Please.

 

SummerSlam was superb, my match ratings below:

 

Angle/Mysterio: ***9/10

Flair/Jericho: **1/2

Edge/Guererro: ***1/4 + 1/2* for Tazz yelling "JESUS!" when Edge had his shoulder frogsplashed.

Bookdust/UnAmericans: **7/8

RVD/Benoit: ****

Undertaker/Test: * +** for Jack Doan's head bouncing off the canvas when Test threw him down.

Michaels/Trips: ****1/4

Rock/Lesnar: ***

 

Raw: I was up until three moving my mother's furniture to our house(she was evicted from her apartment), so I watched the tape after I was done and eating a VERY late dinner. I had high hopes, and they were DASHED. I think I called for Trips and Undertaker's heads for making the FUCKING CHAMP look like a side attraction.

 

Smackdown: only sorta watched it because of the VMAs. Heard good things though. And I caught Steph for a few minutes at the beginning. Hominahominahominahomina.

 

Everything is relative to perception.

 

My Packers start play next Sunday against the Falcons. Good warmup, sez I. First real test is on October 7th against Chicago. I say we go 12-4, maybe 13-3. Expectations are high in Titletown.

 

Am I the only person who wants to see the Texans go mideval on EVERYONE, thus shocking the entire planet?

 

We've got a Post-Raw Yahoo chat going again this Monday. Be there or we'll throw bricks through your car windows.

 

Or in the case of justsoyouknow, we'll use your car for practice for the real event.

 

I went through four bags of Doritos this week. Best. Week. Ever.

 

Hulk STILL Rules rules. Awesome DVD. A little skimpy on 1989-1996, and then not much nWo either. Too much stuff from the last few months, and obvious video packages from previous shows put in. The easter egg is great, with Mean Gene and the Tuesday Night Titans performing Tooti Frutti with Hogan on bass. He even gets a solo. Looks like he's got a pole up his ass or he's constipated though. He just looks uncomfortable while standing there. For those who don't know how to get this, it's on the second disc, all the way to the right on the final screen of matches, the Hulk STILL Rules icon will turn yellow, and you've got it!

 

GET THAT DVD.

 

I saw that they had a special edition of Akira out for a year now. I just had to buy the normal version at Wal Mart as soon as I saw it...

 

My computer is now colored. Not really colored, just drawn all over. The same black marker that keeps my nails black was used to make weird-ass designs all over my computer.

 

A funny site? www.nationallampoon.com. Just great.

 

If anyone would like for me to make a mix for them, just tell me what songs you want, an idea of length, and I'll do it. I made a 77:46 mix for Brendan for his birthday and he loved it. My mixes average about 30 minutes. I call them Mixaroonies(the name having obvious origin) He called his mix the best thing he's ever heard. Can't say I disagree. Good stuff. I have a mix of WWF music from 1985-2002(Mixaroonie VIII) that people can get from me over AIM or if anyone wants to recommend sites where I can upload these for people to have, that would be great.

 

I can only do one at a time, so go easy on me.

 

This week's Musical Gem: Move this Mountain, by Sophie Ellis Bextor. Don't groan, this truly is a powerful song and very worth a listen. Next girlfriend I have, this is SO going to be our song.

 

That's all for now, Toodles, see you next week.

 

Fo sheez,

Patrick Spoon

(Kotzenjunge)

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Is Nellie the one that had wax-like discharge around her....um...area?

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Yes. I think we agreed never to speak of this again... (gags)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest The Czech Republic]

I do not remember such agreement Mr. Kotzenjunge, so I will ask further.

 

What did it smell like?

Could you gradually collect it and build something with it?

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I'm not answering these questions.

 

(never smelled it and hell no)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest The Czech Republic]

I always imagined it to be like Sculpey, that white clay you bake in the oven.

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

TCR..your fascination with this is..er..frightening.

[Guest Flyboy]

OOOH.

 

That stuff (EDIT: Ballston) Kotzen had with his ex or whatever.... we all know Kotzen tasted it. Just once. (j/k man)

[Guest The Czech Republic]

I could benefit from sleep right about now but I'm going to Woodfield at 9 and I can't at this point. It's a lost cause. Now I'm sitting here discussing Ballston and what Stephanie McMahon says when having an orgasm. Pray for me.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(robotic voice) Pray... for... Mo... jo...

 

And I was downright SCARED of that stuff, so STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!!!

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest The Czech Republic]

On my last nights of summer this is one of the funniest nights I remember on this board and it's because of Steph's sex life, some weird female by-product, and the #10 women's player in the world who would be more attractive if she retired and lost the muscle mass and wasn't a dyke. Hmm.

[Guest treble charged]

I think someone should make up a chart with the main eventers, upper-midcarders, midcarders, lower-midcarders, jobbers, and so on on the SmartMarks board. It'd be neat to see how we really rank, the gradual subtitles notwithstanding.

 

That'd be trouble.

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

I think someone should make up a chart with the main eventers, upper-midcarders, midcarders, lower-midcarders, jobbers, and so on on the SmartMarks board. It'd be neat to see how we really rank, the gradual subtitles notwithstanding.

 

That'd be trouble.

Well, I'd be a main eventer, so I'd be fine with it.

 

:::: flexes :::::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

The moderators are all the main eventers, that goes almost without saying. From there down would be the hard part.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

I'd say that I am the Justin Credible of this forum.

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

Next girlfriend I have, this is SO going to be our song.

 

Kotz, I have never read your observations before. I must complement you for being almost ~DEAN like in your randomness.

 

However this whole discussion about the waxy discharge is a little disturbing. Not to mention the fact that you were willing to share this information with a message board.

 

ps: how do I get on your chat Monday?

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I'll create a Yahoo room called "SmartMarks Raw Chat" or something.

 

I don't like Dean Rasmussen. Not because of him or anything he says, my old boss at Harris Teeter was named Randy Rasmussen. Now whenever I see that name, I think of my firing and my bitter feud with Harris Teeter as a result.

 

I think I'll blow up their propane tanks outside with a high-powered rifle from across the road in some bushes. Not when anyone's around though. Do it at like 4 AM, when the minimal number of customers are there, and make sure that the cashier who I went to Prom with isn't working that night.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

 

EDIT: And what's so funny about the girlfriend thing? Sophie RULES!!!

[Guest massivHEDtrauma]

I find the spread of knowledge of what has come to be known as Ballston funny. I dated this Nellie girl at some point as well and, while I never did notice this odd discharge (thank GOD), I can confirm her lecherous nature. Imagine if you will a co-dependant troll who has a fat ass but believes she is a fucking super model, and you get the type. She talks of witch craft and how U2 is such a brilliant band in order to make herself seem like an intellectual individual. She also talks about "those fucking preppie bitches" all the time in anger. Of course, if and when you do voice an opinion one way or another, she will immediately cling to your side and agree with all you say. Truly a shallow person, too afraid not to fit in. Anyways, through my web site and the posts contained on this here board, we have spread the knowledge of Ballston ACROSS THE COUNTRY~! Yay us!

[Guest treble charged]

We also had the idea of getting together all the NYC area SmartMarks for a neat real-life meeting or something.

Meh, that's no big deal. I hold a get together for all of the Brockville, Ontario and area Smart Marks everyday.

[Guest Vividprodigy]

I don't post here but I've read "Kotzen"'s rants before, and I found this one though his sig. Oh, and this time it's mostly about _me_. Aren't I special?

 

(rolls eyes)

 

Ah, Kotzen, you fail to amuse me, yet again. Must you be reminded that you have never even come within 10 feet of another female, so that you have nothing to compare this "discharge" to? You seemed to enjoy it at the time ... Ah yes, the patheticness of You shines through again. It's more penetrative than gamma waves. I can see it from here.

 

Isn't it funny that massivehedtrauma did not notice the discharge, even though he dated me for over a _year_, and had more of a chance to see it than you did? Hmm. I find that extremely interesting.

 

As for both of you (Kotzen and massivehedtrauma), I do not appreciate being talked about behind my back. It seems as if you two are a little too obsessed with my memory for your own good, and you might need to seek psychiatric help, because if you really hate me that much, you wouldn't feel the need to talk about me.

 

"I'm doing the best I ever did, now GO AWAY"

 

Quote from Godsmack. Ha. It applies all too well in this situation, doesn't it?

 

Kotzen, your inadequacies (ahem, COUGH) far surpass whatever inadequacies that you _say_ I have (real or _imaginary_). Unless you would like me to share them with all of your online "friends," I daresay that you should keep your mouth shut. Because you know, and I know, that I am right. But I'm not going down to a level that low, because I do still have some dignity left over.

 

Keep Brendan and his "thoughts" out of this. I told him exactly what you said, and if he pleases, he will reply himself. But I can say that he did not like the fact that you shared these _assumptions_ (And that is putting it nicely. Actually, he's pretty pissed off.).

 

I'm not even going to defend myself against most of your accusations in your rant, because most of them are ludicrous and taken way, way out of context. I laugh at most of what you had to say, because it is obviously posted mostly to gain favor of these online "friends" that you have. Probably because you don't have many friends in real life to impress.

 

As for you, massivehedtrauma. Ah, sweetie, either you are just keeping up a nice facade, or you have some warped memory of our relationship. Who wanted to break up? Me. I was the one feeling suffocated from your dependence, if I do remember correctly. And I was the one trying to avoid you after I broke up with you. And I was the one that refused to go out with you after you asked again. And I was the one that moved onto a different relationship within 3 weeks of breaking up. I could go on with such things. But I think my point is proven, and I do not feel like crushing your pathetic ego any longer.

 

If any of you have any qualms with me, take them up with me and me personally. By doing so, you can prove that you have balls, because I certainly do not think you have any, either of you. I do not enjoy the fact that I am reading degrading comments about myself on message boards on the internet, and I do not enjoy that certain *things* about me have been shared (any other girl would have castrated you). I don't care if they are true or untrue - although I hate you (barf boy, more specifically) with a passion that cannot be described, I would not go about insulting anything that personal, even if it were with people that you did not know.

 

I am sorry that I had to waste anyone else's time with such ridiculousness. It's sort of sad that I had to post it on a message board to get the point across, but whatever.

 

Nellie.

[Guest J*ingus]

OMFG, she actually showed. ::shivers::

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Whoa baby!

 

Kotzen, your inadequacies (ahem, COUGH) far surpass whatever inadequacies that you _say_ I have

Oh, do go on.

 

By the way, Nellie, I presume you've seen this thread already? If we could continue this there, that would be great. It would just be a little tidier.

 

[/Puckish troublemaker mode]

[Guest Leena]

I am sorry that I had to waste anyone else's time with such ridiculousness. It's sort of sad that I had to post it on a message board to get the point across, but whatever.

 

I think we already knew that you hate him, and he hates you. Moving on = good thing.

[Guest Incandenza]

My beloved General Chat forum is turning into Jerry Springer.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

What the hell? Okay, if someone was as self-assured and confident as they insist, they could LET GO and leave this alone.

 

By the way, the Godsmack quote was painfully misplaced. Try shoving it up your ass.

 

And I'd love for you to tell what the inadequacies are. Then I'll tell them all about your Russett tendencies. Since there were no inadequacies(other than lacking a wick) with me, I won't need to say anything back.

 

I would like to reiterate how very very sad it was that you had to come on here and do this. Still pellets against metal driven by a light breeze.

 

I've stopped saying things as long as no one says anything themselves. Now please leave.

 

Fo good,

Kotzenjunge