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Guest Michael Joel Benoit

Have You Ever Had A Crush On Someone

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Guest diavolina
I use to simulate sex with my Alf doll.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?

HAHAHA!

 

 

that is the funniest thing i have ever read on this board. :lol:

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Guest diavolina

does that mean i should leave?

 

it seems as though most people don't want me here....

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Guest Kotzenjunge

Nah, just a shock when someone new comes into the thread. Most threads have four or five guys who supply the talk, you know how it is.

 

Stay all you want. Just a refreshing surprise.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

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Guest diavolina

methinks that since this board is dominated by testosterone...that whenever some estrogen comes along...they don't react to kindly. and that...just MAKES THE BUNNY SAD!

..though this is just what i have experienced, thus far. :(

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Guest Cancer Marney

You just have to show them the power of the estrogen~! girlfriend. They all turn into snivelling dogs after that.

 

<cracks whip>

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Guest J*ingus
I just realised dozens of kids are going to be jacking off to thoughts of me tonight.

Kids? But I'm 22... uh, I mean, I would never take advantage of one of my e-friends for such base physical gain. Yeah. (gotta remember to edit this post)

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Guest J*ingus

But as for the unattainable crush? Sit down and shut up. You all don't know. You have no fucking clue.

 

Her name is Emily. Her last name was impossible to pronounce, and even worse to spell. She was... beautiful. I mean, perfect. We're talking "elf maiden in a Tolkien story" impossibly, terrifyingly pretty. She really WAS slender as a willow-wand and clearer than clear water. So smooth, soft, and flawlessly symmetrical as to inspire intimidation in the person who viewed her. Intelligent to boot, obviously smart, a good student. She was an actress, a dancer, a photographer, and a singer, and was very talented and polished at all of the above. Even her handwriting was a thing of beauty, as she was obviously trained in the art of calligraphy.

 

But she was born rich, and brought up privileged, religious, and possibly spoiled. Obviously pushed onwards by parents who wanted greatness for their child (and got it). I'm told that she had an older sister who didn't shine as brightly, I don't know, I never met her. She was most likely told from day one that she was Special and Superior, if not even The Best. The most amazing part being that she fulfilled it.

 

We went to the same high school. We shared an interest in theater, and were often in the same drama classes and plays over the course of two years. I was a sophmore when I first became infatuated, she a junior. I was not nearly as polished or talented. I was fat, unathletic, a bad singer, and a mediocre actor. I was stunted emotionally, the result of a depressing and isolated childhood of precocious intellect mixed with a complete lack of any social skills. The only girlfriend I ever had in high school ended up with me because some mutual friends matchmade us together, and we saw each other out of convenience, two lonely geeks who didn't have anyone better to share affection with. From the beginning, I was doomed with Emily. I truly had no chance. And I knew it.

 

The most agonizing part of it all was spending so damn much time around her, due to the fact that we were in the same class together every day, plus we were both involved in several of the same plays. I barely even talked to her. I just stared, silently, when she wasn't looking. She barely knew I existed, and whenever she did interact with me, she seemed more warily polite than anything else, the way you are when you're around somebody who's not all there. She was a big hugger, was always hugging everyone firmly, warmly, and daily. I think I can count on my hands the number of times we hugged in two years, and they were always short and light, the contact of someone who would really rather be elsewhere.

 

Emily did, once, agree to be in a video project of mine during her senior year. Somehow, I even convinced her to dress up in a cat suit at one point (I'd seen her wear it at Halloween). I still don't know why she did this for me. It seems out of character. She was so firmly neutral towards me.

 

I never saw any of her boyfriends, except for this one guy she was flirting with. He was a guest instructor we had, a big handsome guy in his mid-twenties who looked like a hunky extra out of Braveheart. They rode next to each other on the bus on a long field trip once, I heard them whispering and Emily giggling. One of my friends later shared a story about how he walked into the guy's room, and she was sitting on his bed, braiding his hair. On the same field trip, at a restaraunt (she happened to be sitting next to me) I jokingly waved a table knife in a harmless Jackie Chan-ish manner, and she, not joking at all, politely (even fearfully) asked me to please put the knife down before I hurt someone.

 

It got to the point where I was depressed, even near-suicidal. Other people started noticing how despondent I was, but I was such a goddamned weirdo that nobody knew what to do about it. Our drama teacher once confronted me in tears, having heard a (false) rumor that I claimed to be planning to kill myself onstage during a performance. I eventually admitted to a few people how I felt about Emily, it must've gotten back to her eventually, but nothing was ever said. My own mother told me, "She's out of your league." Nothing more needed saying.

 

So what does one do? I decided to stop loving her, plain and simple. I told everyone that the feeling had just ended, period, and I was resolved to turn that into a reality within. She graduated and left, I got back together with my girlfriend for a while (who never knew about the entire ordeal, poor thing) and went on with my life. Even when she came back to visit one afternoon, I completely ignored her.

 

But there were warning signs. I wrote a screenplay, a character study about a bunch of kids in a house waiting for the end of the world. One of the characters was more or less me, and another was basically her. In this story, "Crystal" eventually reterned "Alex"s feelings for her, won over by his undying devotion to her in the face of the apocalypse itself. Of course she did. It was MY book, dammit.

 

Then I ended up going to the same college as Emily.

 

It was NOT because of her, I swear. It was a big state school, anywhere from 20-30% of our graduating class went there every year. I went there because it was close, convenient, and cheap. She went there because she'd failed to get into the musical conservatory she'd wanted, and this was the only other university she'd applied to. We ran into each other very rarely, I don't think we talked more than a dozen times.

 

Then I met a wonderful, brilliant, fiery young woman, I'll call her Sue, and we fell in love, sort of. It (and she) were very complicated, she had some mental problems, but hey, she was fucking great in bed, pun intended, so I had no complaints for a while. I made new friends, learned new skills, and grew up more than a bit.

 

But none of it mattered. I regressed back to being the same socially illiterate 16-year-old troll whenever I spole to Emily. By chance I found a copy of her resume (complete with her measurements), which threw me for a loop. And whether or not I wanted to admit it, I was still madly in forever-unreciprocated love with her. It started causing problems, hughe ones, in my relationship with Sue. It was all the worse since they were both music majors, were in many of the same classes and performances. Sue, a bisexual for whom self-image was never a strongpoint, felt herself dying in comparison with Emily, and insisted that I do something, anything, to end it.

 

So I wrote a letter.

 

I must've revised and rewritten that goddamned letter a hundred times. I made it more detailed to explain everything about how I felt, but then it was too long, so I shortened it, but then it left important points in the dark. I worried endlessly about the words, the phrasings; would she be offended if I said this? If I voiced this feeling, would I find myself slapped with a restraining order? I debated whether or not to boldly put my name on it, or remain in safe, cowardly anonymity. I even had some of my female friends go over it, making suggestions and revisions. I finally stopped when one told me, "I wish that someone would write a letter like this to me."

 

The final version detailed my feelings for her in high school, mentioned the problems with Sue while not specifying who she was, and ending with me saying that I was above and past it all now, that I had exercised my will as a human being and this letter was my last shot at closure (which was more hope than fact). I specified that I wasn't necessarily asking for any kind of reciprocation, pity, or any feeling at all, beyond hoping that she understood, as a fellow human being, what I had felt. And at the bottom I signed my name, large and proud. I mailed it to her, and waited. And waited.

 

She never responded.

 

I never asked, either. From then on, I avoided her like the plague. If I saw her, I fled. I think I might've said "hello" once, when trapped waiting in the same line as her, but that was it. Sue might've been able to help, but she liked her mindgames, and never really confirmed whether or not Emily had ever talked about it. Eventually I dropped out of school, and she went on to graduate. I haven't seen her since.

 

Flash forward two and a half years. Emily's married. I found this out when I saw her name listed in the paper, and suddenly she had a hyphenated last name with an extra word on the end. I imagine him to be a rich young doctor who looks like Matt Damon, and hate him thoroughly. I'm still living at home, having done not a hell of a lot with my life. After me and Sue finally (nastily) broke up, I never got into another relationship. Really, no opprotunities have presented themselves, and I'm not the type to go looking for them myself. There have been a couple of other women which I liked, quite a lot, but they've all had stable boyfriends already. So I'm left cut off, unfinished, a story without an ending. I might very well never see her again. That might be easiest. The mere idea of even running into her sets me to trembling.

 

So inconclusion, fuck all of you who say "there's always a chance". Fuck you all who urge people to follow their dreams no matter what the fear or the cost. Fuck you all who dare to have enough blind hubris to tell me that it might have been different. You're all fools, lunatics, and God-damned liars. All too often this life SUCKS, and there's NOTHING we can do about it, PERIOD.

 

And I won't even think about the most awful, depressing, terrifying possibility of all; which is that you could all be right.

 

 

EDIT: Jesus Christ, why did I even bring this up. I've been crying nonstop for the past hour.

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*claps*

 

That was the most heartfelt post I think I've ever read on any message board ever. I commend you, Jingus, for making your feelings public.

 

Dames

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Guest kingkamala
:( , man what an emotional story especially for a place like this where your more likely to find a story about some woman having anal sex with Albert :blink:. Anyway that was one of heartfelt posts ever on the Smarks board

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Guest Cancer Marney

Jingus, love...

 

I should say something but I don't really want to in public. If you want a tiny skotch of constructive criticism, PM me. If you don't, don't. I don't really want to say it, because I like you, and it might not do any good anyway. But I feel I should make the offer.

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Guest Flyboy

Man, Jingus...

 

That was deep. The ending last has to go in my sig. I feel for you, man... if you want to talk about it you can catch me on AIM or something.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Well, someone has to go after THAT, so it might as well be me. This girl I was totally infatuated with in high school ended up going to the same college as me, much like Jingus' case, it's a big state school, and about 25 of the seniors that graduated with me went there. (Class of 420 glorious people, about 120 of which continued their education) anyway, I pretty much wrote my infatuation off as a harmless crush, which it was, really, but we were GREAT friends, and told each other all kinds of personal things. I never gave chase though, because her (very serious) boyfriend was a good friend of mine, and I wasn't about to go messing things up between them, even if I did have a shot..which I didn't. We had a lot of the same classes, and talked every day. Eventually, she moved back home and we lost touch.

 

About six months ago, her boyfriend, along with his brother and good friend were driving into town, and they got plowed by some drunk. He was thrown from the car and died instantly. His good friend was rushed to the hospital, but made it out okay with bumps and bruises and a cracked rib. His brother opened the door to the car and walked out. It was a crazy wreck. (the drunk got a broken nose and jail time)

 

Anyway, I tried to get ahold of her for all I was worth for a month after that, but she wasn't talking to anyone not to say that i blame her..Here I find out about 2 months ago that she's now pregnant with her late boyfriend's friend's child. The one who was in the wreck. Crazy shit. I talked to her again recently, and she's doing well. Her and the father are happy and are getting married, so I'm happy for her. As painful as it is to hear, and to think (and believe me, I've gotten it time and time again) We're just friends, but I don't have many friends I'm closer to. I can't imagine how i'd feel right now if I still had romantic feelings for her.

 

I get crushes, but they don't usually last for very long.

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Guest Vitamin X

Gah I don't even want to mention my paltry crush on this girl in 9th grade named Carrie Larkins that I constantly...CONSTANTLY...tried getting and making my feelings clear to her. Love poems, expensive gifts and such. And still she went for the black dude on the football team. *sigh*

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Guest Youth N Asia

I was going to make a long post today...but after reading the one by Jingus I think I'll just take a pass...

 

Best of luck man

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Guest Spaceman Spiff
Black dudes on football teams are hot.

 

<whistles innocently>

Man, we learn something new about you every day :o

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Guest Spaceman Spiff

Oh, OK.

 

The problem stems from the fact that I didn't know he played football

 

Is there some sort of secret meeting you guys aren't telling me about? :lol:

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Guest Incandenza

I was all prepared to tell a story about my own unrequited love, but having read Jingus', I cannot even bother. That man has the biggest cajones of anyone on this board for putting that here, and I commend him for it.

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Guest NazMistry
I was all prepared to tell a story about my own unrequited love, but having read Jingus', I cannot even bother. That man has the biggest cajones of anyone on this board for putting that here, and I commend him for it.

Agreed.

My story had some less emotive circumstances, but I wouldn't dare to share them here. So I commend you Jingus for being able to share with people who are essentially strangers.

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Guest Leena

Jingus, I commend you for making that post. It takes a strong person to write something like that. In high school, I had a teammate just like Emily. Breathtakingly beatiful, intelligent, and can do anything she wanted in life.. except this girl wastes her talents by being a bitch to everyone, and wallowing in her own false sense of self-pity.

 

Fuck your mom for saying "she's out of your league". That has to be one of the most heartless things you can say to someone you love, like your son. That seriously pissed me off when I read that.

 

NOBODY is better than you. If you talk to someone who thinks they are, then they're not worth your time.

 

Anyway, I have a story of lost love.

 

There was a boy, Thomas, on Freshman year of HS school tennis that I was madly in love with. He had incredibly good looks, tons of talent both physically and mentally, and seemed to be so sweet.

 

I had a really hard time talking with people then. I was born in Russia, and moved here when I was 6. I had been laughed at constantly for how I talked, misspeaking words, and was told I was stupid many times. I was also 6'2, around 200 pounds, and was put down for that.

 

Anyway, I told a couple girls on the team that I liked Thomas. They all told him how I felt, and then he came up to me and said he loved me. Of course, I had never been happier in my life, I finally felt someone cared.

 

For a couple weeks in school, he would always talk to me, write sweet letters to me. I thought he was my boyfriend, and everything was good.

 

Well, during a pep rally in front of the entire school, I was sitting by the end of the bleachers, and Thomas was going to give me a hug. Instead, he pushed me off the bleachers, I got my foot under the bleachers, and I broke my ankle. During this, all my supposed friends are laughing at me, when I'm lying on the ground.

 

I was completely gone after that. I hated everyone, and wanted to do anything to kill myself. I also wanted to get back at everyone and show them I was better than them. This episode ended up in me being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and it ended being the best thing for my life.

 

I went to counseling, took some medication, and stopped feeling bad about myself. I had confidence that I never had before. I started doing better in school, getting good grades. I focused on things I love doing, most importantly tennis, which I worked really hard on to try and be as good as possible.

 

3 years later, I went back on the same tennis team, I was 6'3 150 pounds, and the people still in school after what happened all apologized to me for what they did. I promptly responded "Fuck you." and by being #1 player by far on the team. There's no place in my life, or anyone else's life, for people who think they're better than you, and want to belittle you for those false thoughts.

 

I went to community college after I graduated, I talked to a lot of people, was asked out a few times, and it means nothing to me. I'll be pleasant with people, treat them how I'd like to be treated, but that's all. I've had an online relationship for 2 years, but that's all it is. He's someone I talk to all the time, but it will never be more than that. If he hurts me, it will do nothing, because I don't care.

 

The sad thing I've learned in life, is that love is completely physical. Friendship is completely physical. I'm the same girl I was just 5 years ago, when nobody cared. Love is supposed to be an unconditional feeling, and that's the farthest from the truth.

 

I've learned now to just be myself, go on with my day, and do anything that's positive for myself.

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Guest Sandman9000

All right, Mr. Blood Mark will testify.

 

My crush was, pure coincidence, named Emily. Back home, I used to work for this local company that taped high school basketball games and broadcasted them over a local AOL-Time Warner network. Now, I was there for two years, doing behind the scenes stuff, before I was finally able to move to on-camera roles.

 

Now, at that time I was a junior in high school, and Emily joined the company. She had been involved with the company before I joined, but in a different role. (The same company also ran a local basketball summer league for kids in elementary and junior high schools. She played in the league, I never did.) She was around occasionally, but when we talked or tried to work together, we just seemed to click. Both of us are intelligent and interested in the same field, broadcast journalism.

 

However, Emily also played a lot of sports. She was very talented, to the point where she is now playing field hockey and lacrosse at Allegheny College in Pennsylavania. (Someone could edit important details out if they want.) While I was athletic, a state-quality shotput thrower, it wasn't on her level. The fact that she could be so intelligent, athletic, good looking, and didn't hate me, obviously turned me on. However, we both live in different towns in Maine, about 40-45 minutes away, so I never tried anything, always believing that she was out of my league.

 

Senior year rolls by. I am the head play-by-play announcer for the company, and Emily is only occasionally around. Her basketball team sucks ass, finishing almost last in the division, and being bounced out of the playoffs early. So, while we are taping the playoffs, Emily is always around, which is good for me. We talk about whatever, sports, college, even life in general.

 

Before the state championship games, I made up my mind to ask Emily to our prom. (The school I went to was a Jesuit High School, all male until my junior year, when tradition was sold out for money, and it went co-ed. However, all the girls are nasty, so I wouldn't ask any of them out.) I originally had no plans at all to attend the prom, but something about Emily made me want to change my mind. About 20 minutes before the game, along with all of my stats and notes for the game, I had a piece of paper with it.

 

Now, what this piece of paper had was a scholarship offer from this company. They would give you $2,000 for, and I am NOT making this up, going to your prom with attire made out of DUCT TAPE. Now, I'm insane enough to do something like this, so I printed it out and brought it along with me. I placed my papers on the announce table, where Emily was (we were to announce the girls state championship game together, joy at the time), and a freshman who worked for us picked it up and asked me what it was. Emily, curious, of course, also looked at it. I said what it was and said that I just needed to find someone to go with. I looked at Emily and asked her if she wanted to go. After a moment, she said yes.

 

I don't remember what I said during the game, and it doesn't matter. For once, this sick fuck was actually happy. We exchanged phone numbers, e-mail, addresses, AIM names, all that, and said we would start making plans. Emily said that she had a lacrosse game the next morning, so she wouldn't be getting drunk and whatever afterwards. I was ok with that, being straight edge and knowing I wasn't going to get laid after prom. Hell, I was happy having a date.

 

Fast forward to the prom. We aren't doing the duct tape thing, since we both realized that it would be a bad idea, and there would be no way we could win the money. I pick her up at a netural location (we both live far away, remember) and we are driving along to the prom, when her cell phone goes off. She picks up, shreiks, and talks in hushed terms for a few minutes, calling the person on the other line "honey" and "sweetie." She hangs up.

 

"So, who was that?"

 

"On the phone."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Oh, that was just my boyfriend."

 

Kick wham stunner. Emily, the girl whom I loved for her intelligence, personally, the girl it took me TWO FUCKING YEARS to ask out, already had a boyfriend. She then told me they had been together since the begining of senior year, so she already knew she had a boyfriend when she agreed to go to prom with me.

 

Prom, as could be expected, blew. We danced a little, of course, but I was down and miserable the entire night. Now, I am usually moody and pissed off anyway, so nobody really said anything to me. The last hour, Emily hides out in the bathroom, eating chocolate-dipped strawberries, while I got to stand out there like a jackass.

 

Now, all through high school, I never had a girlfriend. I even put that little notice in my yearbook profile, along with other dumb things I had done. (Speared someone into the girls' bathroom, brought in a kitchen sink for English class, etc...) Here, I finally had a chance with a girl, and not only was she already taken, she didn't even bother to tell me she had a boyfriend. If a person asked you to a big event like prom, doesn't it mean that they might FUCKING LIKE YOU? Why didn't she just kick me in the balls, her actions were the equivalent.

 

But wait, it gets better.

 

A week later, she e-mails me back, saying that she had a good time at prom, blah blah blah. She doesn't apologize for anything, since I haven't confronted her about anything. I'm sure it wasn't her intention, but that e-mail was pouring salt into wounds caused by a chainsaw. Hurt, obviously, I don't e-mail her back for a while, only to say, in the title, "Prom Pics Sent."

 

Now, that last month of school, I get teased about Emily. I'm used to getting teased, but this was starting to piss me off. I'm only friends with a couple people there, but I get along with all 110 members of the senior class. But I could go without seeing them ever again.

 

Graduation, blah blah blah. At Project Graduation, however, everyone is complely happy, while I'm my usual miserable self. I'm playing basketball with some people, and one of my "close" friends almost knees me in the groin. He apologizes, then follows up with "Hey, that more then what you got with Emily."

 

Line, crossed.

 

I tackle his ass to the ground and start punching away. I'm a big guy, and it takes 4 people to haul me off him. I'm screaming at him the whole time, while parents and teachers all come running over, yelling at me. I'm kicked out of Project Graduation at 2 in the morning, and before I go, I more-or-less cut a promo on the entire class, basically saying "Fuck y'all, I'm getting out of this shithole (Maine/high school), and I never want to come back again. Don't remember me, forget I was ever your classmate, I'm dead to you and you are all dead to me."

 

I go home, walking the three hours from the Project Grad. site to my house, getting home at five in the morning. I drop my stuff, go into the bathroom, and cry for half-an-hour. I cried about everything, school, the people who pretended to be my friends, and especially Emily. I know it is not her fault I refused to talk with anyone from high school, but had it not been for her actions, my "friend" would never had set the dominos into action.

 

Summer goes by, I actually patch up some relationships, including the one with the friend who I attacked. He admitted fault for setting me off, saying that it was his fault for crossing the line, and he would have done the same if the positions were reversed. Everything seems to be going along fine.

 

However...

 

Out of the blue, Emily IM's me. We, or rather, she talks for a bit, with me doing one word responses. After a bit, she asks me if something is wrong, and I finally decide to let it all come out. I ask her about the boyfriend, about everything. She goes on the defense, and I never give her a chance to go back onto the offence. Finally, I close with something like this. I quoted a line from Eminem's "Girls," a song which I especially enjoy.

 

"BITCH, I will NEVER be this gulliable ever again!"

 

I blocked her ass, turned off the computer, and cried some more. I'm not an emotional person, but she was just able to trigger something inside of me.

 

Now, I naturally don't trust people, especially females. I always feel that every girl I look at hates my guts and wants nothing to do with me. It never helps at dances, when I see everyone else dancing with a girl, and me alone.

 

But, after Emily, I'm crushed. My dorm is co-ed, and I occasionally get the idea that some of them could actually like me. However, in the back of my mind, I keep telling myself that they actually don't like me, they want nothing to do with me, I'm not good enough for them.

 

But, this story gets better.

 

Down at college, unpacking after my parents have (finally) left. I start putting stuff away, when I pull out some pictures. Inside, are prom pictures of me and Emily that my Mom had kept. Pictures I never wanted to see again. My "loving" parents, whom I hadn't told anything about Emily after prom, decided that it would be nice for me to "pass some of them out." That was three weeks ago, and I haven't spoken to my parents since.

 

Thanks to that one girl, I may never have another girlfriend, my relationship with my high school is all but dead, and now my relationship with my parents is now strained. I go home in December, and it may be the last time I ever go home.

 

And whenever I listen to the song "Girls," it reminds me of everything, especially the lines I have taken from the song.

 

its so easy for me to make enemies any more its sicknin

people are lookin for an excuse to jump on my shit list

stickin their noses in shit that isnt none of their business

i never, asked, cared, gave a fuck or wanted oppinions

now im in the position that i dont wanna be in shit

i neva had no beef with you corny son of a bitches

but now the shit is broke and u cant do nuttin to fix it

 

(basically, dedicated to everyone at my high school. The relationship between us is permanently over. The bridge is burned, and I ain't gonna be the one to rebuild it.)

 

coz i swear to god this aint just a song im tryin to pre-warn you

lethal when i fuckin see you dogg im swingin on you

 

(To another former friend of mine, who always likes to go for the low blow, and the whole Emily shit gave him tons of material. From now on, I see him on the streets, I drop him.)

 

[chorus]

girls (y'all a some god damn girls)

why do you act this way? (why do you act this way, huh?)

why do y'all act like fuckin sissies you pussies keep talkin shit behind my back you just some bitches for that

 

(To Emily)

 

now i dont ask nobody to share my beliefs or be involved in my beefs

im a man i can stand on my feet

so if you dont wanna be in them all i ask that you dont open your mouth with an opinion

and i wont put you in them

coz i dont ask nobody to share my beliefs or be involved in my beefs

im a man i can stand on my feet

so if you dont wanna be in them all i ask that you dont open ur mouth with an opinion

and i wont put you in them

 

(One of my philosophies on life. Don't fuck with me, and I won't fuck with you.)

 

but i neva will be this gullable ever again tho

 

(The line that permanently ended the "relationship" between me and Emily.)

 

next time i will know when somebodys copyin off me

im not bein cocky, i just know when somebodys locked in me

i stick up my middle finger he sticks up his finger

i say f**k christina he says f**k christina but meaner

 

(Another friend of mine. We had no problems, but I took out my frustrations on him. We managed to save our friendship, however.)

 

 

Now, I know this isn't as meaningful or intense as Jingus' or Downhome's, but this still destroyed me inside. However, it did provide for me a valuable life lesson.

 

"BITCH, I will NEVER be this gulliable ever again!"

 

I still have the pictures. I don't know why. I don't know what to do with them. If anybody really wants to see them, I could find a way to scan them and put them up. I really don't want to, though, and I really never want to see her again.

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