Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted September 4, 2002 read on ---------- [We fade in to the same room as before as we see Leon Sharpe sitting back in a chair. Sharpe is in a Red Wings jersey and jeans. He notices the camera and nods at it.] Leon Sharpe: How are you all doing out there? [sharpe pauses for a response] Leon Sharpe: Good.. as for myself, my last few days have sucked, thanks in part to you fans. You see, I know that out in San Jose, you guys are a bit odd, but you had your hand in defeating me. You see, some little wise guy thought he could turn down a Leon Sharpe t-shirt, and that effected my performance. [sharpe pauses for a moment] Leon Sharpe: Yes, I know you want to know how the things are related, let me tell you about it. You see, in order for me to do my best at this moment in time in your SJL, I have to have all the chips fall right. I have to enter first, I have to sell some shirts, I have to jump my opponent, if I don’t do one of those things, it screws my routine up. [sharpe cracks his knuckles.] Leon Sharpe: You see, it’s called Feng-shei or something of that sort. Basically until I get about 15 matches or so under my belt, I have to get used to the SJL ring. It is different from the ones I am used to. When I get used to it, I can start scrapping Feng-shei, but you see, until then, it’s just superstitions. I’m not gonna step on cracks or do any of that. Just like how Wade Boggs ate chicken, I have my lucky charms. [sharpe gets out of his chair and starts walking.] Leon Sharpe: Let me show you one. [sharpe walks into another room where we see a glass around what looks like a bunch of rocks and all that. Sharpe steps aside and we see a big snake in the glass.] Leon Sharpe: This is Wildman. The snake was named after this one wrestler who I excessively beat in one match. I figured I owed it to him since I powerbombed him on a barb wire chair and all that. [sharpe smirks.] Leon Sharpe: Anyways, I figure that if Wildman eats one of these dead mice within 6 hours of my match, then I am due to win it. Needless to say, this damned snake is being a picky eater. EAT DAMN YOU! [sharpe shakes his head as we see the Snake beginning to eat another mouse.] Leon Sharpe: I figure that he WILL eat before my match with Jack the Ripper, or else I’ll make something good out of him and turn him into a pair of boots. [sharpe shakes his head as he walks to another room FILLED with t-shirts] Leon Sharpe: Now, fans, this is a storage room. You have the responsibility to empty this room. You see, you are not buying my stuff on the internet sites, you are not buying it in arenas. Just buy the shirt, buy it for yourself, buy some for friends, family or strangers. Buy the friggin shirt, or else I’ll do something drastic. Trust me, I can be much more of an evil man if I felt like it. I same to this league to make it fun, filled with optimism that I will go on, beat the champ Flutus, Flutbe, he’s the European champion. I figure when I get the chance to win that title, I can inquire into when SJL will ever go to Europe. Also, I figure I am big in Europe, since I spent a few months in Holland rehabbing an injury once. [sharpe smirks as he picks up a shirt and tosses it.] Leon Sharpe: Fans, don’t just buy a shirt because I could use the money, buy it for my house guest. My gardener and housekeeper, Pablo Alcantara. [sharpe points to a Caribbean guy who is sleeping near the window in the storage room.] Leon Sharpe: You see, this room doubles as a guest room and a storage room. The faster you buy my stuff, the quicker I can buy Pablo a bed, or get him a real room. Isn’t that right Pablo? Pablo: [still asleep] uh.. si.. Leon Sharpe: Do it for Pablo, from the Dominican Republic, who lives in my house while I am gone wrestling. He deserves more than just a Lazyboy chair. [sharpe walks out of the room and into the hall.] Leon Sharpe: You can get me so many things. Videos, books, DVDs, a fireplace for my promos, all that stuff. You know that to do.. just buy the shirt.. Get the Point? [sharpe winks and he goes into the room he started in.] Leon Sharpe: as for Thursday, I am facing a man called Jack the Ripper. I read the card, and I notice many things. I notice that the Ripper is in quotation marks. Which of course tells me that he doesn’t really rip at all. Second, I recall that Jack once worked here. I also recall that Jack was not the best guy. So, I figure that depending on how my luck goes, I’ll be ripping the Ripper a new one, a new Leon Sharpe t-shirt. But, not just any t-shirt, it’s one that is actually ripped, because I know that if I just gave you an extra t-shirt, I’d be wasting money. Jacko, Don’t feel sad when I beat you, you get a t-shirt out of the deal, and you get the reassurance of knowing that you are still as lousy as ever. Jacko, do you.. Get the Point? [sharpe sits down in his chair and nods as we fade to black.] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest 5_moves_of_doom Report post Posted September 4, 2002 *buys a "DO IT FOR PABLO!" shirt* Woo. I'm really getting into Leon's character, and though the residuals of the general n00b vibe are still there, I can really see you're getting into this a bit more, and it'll just be a few more matches before you start getting into the groove of things. Best wishes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest AnnieEclectic Report post Posted September 4, 2002 Leon.... this promo instantly makes me want to buy a t-shirt. give me postage and shipping stats and I'll paypal it to you right away -Annie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Thoth Report post Posted September 4, 2002 God, I go away for a week and all the new people start promoing. The JL is about to get more interesting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
