WWF Royal Rumble 1990

[Guest nWoScorpion]

-I posted this one not TOO long ago, maybe 4 months ago, and din't recieve too much feedback. So back for a 2nd time.....ROYAL RUMBLE 1990!

 

 

-We already have a Tape Shill for WWF Supertape. Hey its Vince Mcmahon before he got old looking.

 

-It's The WWF Royal Rumble! Participants are (in order Vince Mcmahon says) Ultimate Warrior, Honky Tonk Man, Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, Andre The Giant, Jimmy Snuka, Bad News Brown, Shawn Michaels, Haku, Ax, Rick Martel, Koko B. Ware, Bret Hart, Warlord, Hercules, Rick Rude, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect, Smash, Jake Roberts, Jim Niedhart, Barbarian, Dusty Rhodes, Tito Santana, Akeem, Red Rooster, Earthquake, Ted Dibiase, Dino Bravo & HULK HOGAN.

 

-Live from Orlando, Florida

 

-Announcers are Tony (I can't spell his last name for my life) Schiavone & Jesse Ventura (decked in Mickey Mouse attire) Tony looks VERY young.

 

-Opening Match:

The Bushwhackers Vs. Fabulous Rogeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart):

The Rogeau's theme music STILL rules. Anyway, this is one match I despise. Luke looks stoned to hell to start this match. Jacque with a beard is an odd site to see by the way. Ray starts with Butch and gives him a few boots. Luke runs in and Butch takes control but gets caught in a sleeper hold, but Butch gets out and bites his bottom, then the referee and the Bushwhackers with a double clothesline to Ray. Jacque in and he pounds on Luke who sells like Hogan, and he has a fit (Luke) and bites the Rogeau. Jacques ducks a clothesline and Ray gets nailed, and the Bushwhackers enter to clobber J.R. More Stalling ensues. Luke is preoccupied with Jacque and Ray hammers him from behind. While Butch/Jacques tie up the referee Ray ties up Luke with the tag rope and Jacques covers for 2 and tags out. Ray in with a crescent kick for on Luke and then unloads with a series of punches in the corner. He scoops up Luke and tosses him to the floor where Jacques works him over. Back in the ring and Ray puts the boots to Luke. Luke tries to make the tag but Ray cuts him off, by pissing off Butch. Jacques in and scores diving elbow drop and shows off with a kip up and a tag to Ray. Ray makes a quick tag and they slam Luke into the corner several times. Double Team Stun gun to the Bushwhacker and Ray applies a rear chinlock, which is broken by some biting. Jacques with his own biting on Luke and applies the mandatory abdominal stretch, with cheating of course. Ray tags in and applies a reverse chinlock and Luke starts to get up, only to be stopped with an elbow to the face. Slam by Ray and Jacque splash goes south landing on Luke's knees and Butch FINALLY tags in and lays into Jacques with a clothesline and punches. Knee lift to Jacques and some hard rights to the midsection. Double whip on the Rogeaus and they collide, and then go after Jimmy Hart who gets well, nothing, but almost got wish boned. Jacques from behind with a roll up for 2. Ray with a Boston crab on Butch, but he goes to chase off Luke. Luke & Butch recuperate and land the battering ram on Jacques for the win at 13:35. 1/4*. Match was too slow.

 

-Mean Gene is with Ted Dibiase, who had the misfortune of drawing #1 for the Royal Rumble. (well "Virgil" drew his number says Okerlund.)

 

-Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake VS. The Genius:

The Genius gives us a little poem before Brutus enters the ring, which of course, gets booed. Genius offers to shake hands with his left hand, something no one does (except me oddly). Genius is in full queer mode right here. Long Stall Period and the Genius with a cartwheel on the arena floor. Lockup and both men break cleanly in the corner. Beefer tells Genius to kiss his ass afterwards and mocks him. Nice PINK gloves Brutus by the way. Genius with an eye rake and lays a few boots to the midsection followed by some roundhouse rights and a choke in the corner. Beefcake catches him with an inverted atomic drop and the Genius bails again. Eye rake again by the Genius and continues to use punches as his only offense. Beefcake with a test of strength and then stomps on the Genius' hands, then drapes his crotch across the top rope and the Genius bails again. Lockup and the Genius plants several shoulder thrusts in the corner, followed by a series of headbutts and right hands. Irish whip and beefcake with a boot to the face and a neck ringer. Genius with more nothing offense (including stomps, punches, eye rakes). Beefcake makes the comeback with a clothesline and slam, then rakes the eyes with his boots. Sleeper Hold is attempted but Genius and a ref bump (MAJOR ref bump) occurs. Beefcake starts no selling and locks the Sleeperhold, but the ref is out. The Genius is out cold so Brutus starts to cut his hair. Mr. Perfect hits the ring and starts pounding on Brutus, calling for the bell at 11:03, then starts to whoop his ass with a "steel" chair. DUD. This would lead to Brutus Beefcake Vs. Mr. Perfect at Wrestlemania, VI.

 

-Sean Mooney is with Bobby Heenan, Rick rude, and the Colossal Connection (andre & Haku). He stirs up shit that so the Heenan Family would fight each other. Shockingly Heenan was managing 5 men a month before this and now is down to 3. (the other 2 being the Brain Busters).

 

-Cheap Wrestlemania, VI ad. Its April 1, 1990, at Skydome in Toronto, Ontario, Canada by the way.

 

-Submission Match:

"Rugged" Ronnie Garvin Vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart):

Well, this COULD be good. It's the Hart Breaker Vs. the Hammer Jammer, the respective names of both men's shin guards. Garvin from behinds and he hammers the hammer and throws him back in the ring. Garvin being an idiot goes for the pin for the first time tonight then slams Valentines head into the buckle 7 times. Learn to Count! Valentine fights back with some heavy chops against Garvins heavy slaps and Greg losses. Garvin gets caught with an elbow but Greg misses a 2nd, but drives a knee to the midsection and headbutt for NO COUNT cause there is no pins. Valentine continues hammering Garvin and Garvin fights back and scores a headbut putting BOTH men down. Garvin is up first and goes for a piledriver, but Greg reverses it and sits on him for the pin, and Garvin reverses for another pin. 2-2 in idiot-ness. Hammer with more chops in the corner, Irish whip and both men clash heads to put each other down again. Hammer goes for the figure 4 but Garvin blocks and rolls him up. 3-2. Hammer nails him with an elbow and pins him. 3-3. Figure four by Hammer and Garvin.......laughs in his face, making rude gestures. Garvin up and scores an inside cradle. 4-3. Hammer hammers him and puts him in a backbreaker submission then drops the elbow again. Garvin blocks the figure four and both men choke each other on the mat. Garvin unloads with a series of hard rights and slaps followed by a drop toe hold and the Indian Death Lock submission, but Hammer gets the ropes. On the outside Garvin goes for another piledriver and again Hammer reverses it. Hammer kicks Garvins ass for a good portion of a minute until both men collide again, Jimmy Hart in the meantime removes Garvin's hammer jammer and Hammer applies to Figure Four again, but Garvin reverses it forcing the hold to be broken. Hammer works the leg and goes for the figure four and Garvin AGAIN goes for a pin. 5-3. Hammer to the 2nd rope and ONCE AGAIN is tossed off via powerslam. Garvin removes the hart breaker and gets rolled up for no count. 5-4. Both men exchange blows and Garvin locks him in the ropes. Valentines gets out and Garvin nails him with the hart breaker and applies the Sharpshooter, and Valentine "gives up" at 16:50. **. Match wasn't THAT bad but 17 minutes is way too long for GARVIN.

 

-Mean Gene is with Mr. Perfect, who reveals he drew the perfect number, which is #30.

 

-Brother Love time with Sapphire and Sensational Queen Sherri. Sherri & Love dis on the comman woman until she slaps Sherri, which ends up having Savage & Rhodes fight and a revenge attack on Love. Rhodes & Sapphire have a victory dance afterwards, which is DISGUSTING.

 

-Sean Mooney is with "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, who basically rambles on and on for a few minutes.

 

-"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan Vs. Big Boss Man (w/ Slick):

Wow, what a great singles match Main Event for THIS undercard. At least I'm entertained with Jive Soul Bro. If Slick is the Doctor of Style, why was he always wearing ugly suits? Except for Wrestlemania VI, that blue one was pimpin. Both men slug it out to start and Bossman gets nailed with a series of clotheslines and he spills to the floor. Both men brawl more on the floor and Duggan gets posted, as does Bossman, both thanks to Bossman. Duggan puts the boots to Bossman but he reverses an Irish whip and Splashes him in the corner and nails an ENZIGURI!!!! Bossman goes back to working over Bossman with heavy forearms and punches. Bossman with the splash on Duggan in the second rope and does a little posing. Duggan no sells head shots to the buckles and hammers Bossman but gets caught with a double axhandle for 2. Bossman with a throat thrust and motions Duggan is drunk. slick with a pair of handcuffs to choke Duggan behind the referees back and Bossman sits on duggans abdomen. Slick calls him crooked eyes by the way in a funny moment. Bossman with a rear face lock (don't ask) and Duggan plants several elbows and roundhouses to the Bossman, but runs into a Bossman knee lift. Bossman with more slow offense and back to the face/chin lock. Knee lift to the ribs gets 2 for the BBM. Bossman with a bearhug and you KNOW they are stalling for time. Duggan with some heavy shots and a clothesline sends Bossman 360ing to the floor. Duggan gets caught with a headbutt but Bossman misses and elbow drop. Duggan throwing heavy right hands to the midsection and the 10 punches in the corner, but only 6 connect. Irish Whip to the corner and Duggan misses, walking into a clothesline. Bossman to the top rope and he misses a big splash. Both men collide and it seems like Bossman is tired. He bashes Slick accidentally and takes the night stick and plants it in duggans head for the DQ at 10:23. Duggan chases him off with his 2x4 later on. *1/4. OK, time for the match I been waiting for so patiently.

 

-Royal Rumble Participants Comments: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Demolition Ax & Smash, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, The Rockers; Marty Jannetty & Shawn Michaels, Hercules, Rick Martel, (5 bucks says Tito is next), Tito Santana (I called it), Jimmy Snuka, Akeem, Ultimate Warrior.

 

-People Pick the Winners of the Royal Rumble. Hogan, Warrior, Roberts, Rhodes, Savage are mentioned. Idiots picked Bret Hart, Jimmy Snuka, Ax and Roddy Piper.

 

-MORE Comments: Randy Savage (I know this was said somewhere else, but HOW can he see threw those glasses?!!), Powers of Pain [who Grunt a lot), Jake Roberts, Hart Foundation, Honky Tonk Man, and FINALLY Hulk Hogan.

 

(This means Everyone in the Rumble had comments (including earlier) except for Koko B. Ware, Roddy Piper & The Red Rooster)

 

 

-30 Man Royal Rumble Match:

#1 we know is Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil), #2 is Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie). Managers are allowed at ringside for some reason. Dibiase puts the boots to him to start and hits a back elbow. Koko continues getting pounded by Dibiase. He sends the Birdman head first to the buckle but it doesn't affect him and he fights back FINALLY. Sweet Drop-kick by Ware and a series of jabs and roundhouse rights. Headbutt and Koko calls for a clothesline, but gets back-dropped out of the match.

#3 is Marty Jannetty (who enters with music) and gets stomped on also. Irish Whip and Marty plants a drop-kick, and another, followed by a series of rights. Dibiase plants a boot to his face and a clothesline (with oversell). Dibiase off the 2nd rope and he gets caught with a fist to the midsection. Marty unloads and scores a diving elbow. Marty with a cross-body but Dibiase ducks and Jannetty is eliminated #4 is Jake "The Snake" Roberts (w/ Damion) and he and Dibiase brawl on the arena floor.

Side note: The reason the #3 & 4 themes were played was because Dibiase was only man in the ring and he entered #1, so they played the next man's theme until more then 2 guys were in or until Dibiase was elimanated, whichever came first. Dibiase with a slam on the floor and locks on the Dream, only to be rammed into the steel post. Both men back in the ring now. Back drop by Roberts and a short arm clothesline. Jake goes for the DDT but Dibiase back drops out of it. Dibiase with shoulder thrusts to the midsection. #5 is "Macho King" Randy Savage (w/ Sherri) and he attacks Roberts. Roberts nails him with a clothesline but gets hung up in the corner by Dibiase, allowing Savage to choke him out. Savage to the 2nd rope and he comes down with a knee. Didn't Savage/Dibiase hate each other oh, about 10 months earlier? Dibiase off the top with a double axhandle, and Savage does the same, much better by the way. They tie Roberts in the ropes and unload on him. #6 is "Hotrod" Roddy Piper and he kills both heels. Roberts gets free'd by Piper

and they both kick Dibiase & Savage's ass. Piper tries tossing out Savage and Roberts comes to help but he fights 'em both off. Savage & Piper both flirt elimination's as Roberts gets hammered by Dibiase. #7 is The Warlord (w/ Mr. Fuji) and he immediately attacks the faces, as he pounds Roberts to the mat and then works over Piper. Roberts flirts going out by Dibiase & Savage, while Piper & Warlord scuffle in the other corner. Savage with a double axhandle to Roberts and chokes him out some more. Warlord tries to toss out Piper to no avail. #8 is Bret "Hitman" Hart to a good pop and he attacks Dibiase. Savage grabs him from behind but Dibiase nails Savage instead. Bret hammers Warlord and plants a boot to the kisser, then he and Piper double clothesline him. Everyone basically walks around hammering people at random for a while. Piper with some of his famous eye pokes. #9 is Bad News Brown and takes his time getting there. He quickly attacks Bret Hart (remembering WM IV) and tries to toss him out of the ring. Roberts with a short arm clothesline, but Savage stops the DDT by clotheslining him over and out to the floor.

Dibiase goes back to work on Piper and ALMOST gets eliminated, but Savage makes the save. Brown breaks kayfabe and hammers Dibiase while the faces work over Warlord & Savage. #10 is Dusty Rhodes (w/ Sapphire) and he immediately attacks Savage. Bionic Elbows galore and a back elbow. Savage with an eye rake and charge but Rhodes dumps him over the top rope to the floor. Brown jumps Dusty in the meantime while Piper tries throwing out the Warlord. Sapphire, Virgil, Fuji are still on the outside for their men. #11 is Andre The Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan). Oh boy. He lays into the Warlord and hip tosses him to the floor quickly. Afterwards Heenan pulls Fuji off the apron and get into a little argument. Andre goes after Rhodes & Piper and squashes them both in the corner. Both men are still not enough to take him down and Andre continues to work on them both while Brown & Dibiase take on Bret. #12 is Red Rooster and he goes at it with Rhodes. Piper soon tosses Brown and in a moment of anger he pulls Roddy Piper out backwards by his hair. Shane Mcmahon!! Both men battle to the back as no camera pays attention to the ring and the happenings. Andre stomps on Bret for a bit and nails the stupid bird. #13 is Ax of Demolition and andre sends Rooster packing. Ax of course goes for Giant and pounds him to the mat. Why is Fuji still out there? Warlord is gone and I don't see Barbarian. Rhodes & Hart double team Dibiase while Ax continues hammering Andre. Rhodes goes for Andre and he and Ax for the New Demolition, tie him in the ropes and score simultaneous bionic elbows. They let him out and he hammers them both. #14 is Haku (w/ Heenan who's at ringside) and goes for Ax of course. Running clothesline to Ax and he hammers on the American Dream. Andre just SAT on Ax then stand on him. Rhodes gets funky again and pounds on Haku. Haku & Andre double team on Ax for a little while. #15 is Smash of Demolition (cute eh? with the drawings) and he goes for Andre and him and Ax hammer him to the mat. Haku comes over and gets smashed by Smash. double elbow by the Demo's on Haku and they go back to Andre, but suffer a double headbutt. #16 is Akeem The African Dream (w/ Slick) and he hammers on Andre. Demolition double clothesline andre down and then clothesline him over the top to the floor! Ax goes to Haku and tries to dump him but Andre stops Ax from the outside before leaving. Akeem hammers on the guy his gimmick is mock of, Dusty Rhodes. Dibiase with a clothesline to Smash as Haku stomps a hole in Ax. #17 is "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka and he goes for Akeem, and they battle. Snuka off the ropes and scores a diving headbutt sending Akeem over the top rope to the floor. Yea right, a headbutt eliminates a 456 pound fat ass. Smash & Rhodes double team Dibiase who surpassed the 30 minute mark and Demolition work on Snuka before his island cousin Haku saves him. Dibiase off the top with an axhandle to Rhodes. #18 is Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart), and he goes to work on Ax. Ax makes the Save for Smash and Bravo tries to eliminate Haku. Double back elbow to Dibiase by Demolition and Ax sets his attention to Bravo. Rhodes has been in for a while now. I just realized Bret Hart was eliminated shortly after by Andre, so take that for what its worth. #19 is The Canadian Earthquake (w/ Jimmy Hart at ringside) and hopefully he can clear out some people. He hammers Rhodes for a bit and sends him packing quickly. Demolition go over to double team him and Ax ends up being slammed over the top and he's eliminated. Haku goes at him and gets hammered on for his troubles. #20 is Jim "the Anvil" Niedhart and he goes after Quake. He, Haku & Smash get him stuck in the corner and try tossing him, but he's too big so Snuka props his BUTT up and Dibiase comes over to help and they all dump him, even though Bravo tried making the save. Everyone just wanders about and Dibiase is closing in on 40 minutes. #21 is Ultimate Warrior and he beats on Bravo and no sells his offense, and finally tosses him out. Snuka is his next victim but doesn't get tossed out. 3 men go after him and they all get nailed. Smash has the nerve to think he can eliminate the Warrior (in 1988 it was possible but not now). Niedhart and Warrior work over Dibiase as Smash & Haku continue fighting... #22 is Rick Martel and 10 bucks says Tito is next (without looking). Smash smashes him the 2nd he enters the ring and ends up eating post for it. Smash is out courtesy of a Haku crescent kick. #23 is Tito Santana of course and goes after Martel. Haku goes for Warrior and gets nailed. Snuka & Niedhart continue to double team Dibiase. #24 is Honky Tonk Man (w/ jimmy Hart) and he gets a few shots in on Warrior. Warrior with Martel's help dumped Niedhart over and out. Warrior with a clothesline on Dibiase FINALLY sends him out of the match after 45 minutes. I dread who is next. #25 is Hulk Hogan. Snuka goes after him and is quickly clotheslined to the floor, followed by Haku courtesy of a big boot. Hogan still has his shirt on. Honky gets nailed by Hogan. Santana & Martel go at it and Martel and Warrior dump him over. Martel hammers Warrior but that goes nowhere and Honky chokes Hogan with his own shirt. #26 is Shawn Michaels of the Rockers. Honky is out thanks to Hogan, Michaels thanks to Warrior, and Martel by Warrior leaving Hogan & The Warrior. Both men have a face to face confrontation, followed by a crisscross ending up in a double clothesline. #27 is The Barbarian (w/ Mr. Fuji) and he has easy picking right now. He basically stomps on both men for a little bit. #28 is "Ravishing Rick Rude [w/ Heenan also) who comes out prematurely to help The Barbarian. I guess they felt 3 no sellers alone in the round is too much. Rude hammers Warrior while Barbarian chokes Hogan. Barbarian tries dumping Hogan as does Rude but Warrior makes the save for some reason. The heels try tossing Warrior and Hogan with a double clothesline on them but that helps dump Warrior out, so he's [pissed and cleans house of Barbarian & Rude. #29 is Hercules and he goes for Rude. He helps take care of both baddies and whips them both into a Hogan big boot. Hogan with a powerslam on the Barbarian and he drops a series of elbows on him. #30 is Mr. Perfect of course and he changed ring attire since Beefcake/Genius. There he had orange with green/black V back, here its all black. He goes straight for Hogan of course while Rude/Hercules/Barbarian brawl. Hercules with a backdrop sends Barbarian out of the ring. Perfect goes on the attack on Hercules and back to Hogan. Running Drop-kick by Perfect on Hercules and Rude with a clothesline sends him (Hercules) to the floor. Rude with a clothesline accidentally hits Perfect sending him to the apron, as he runs off the ropes, Perfect pulls on the ropes, causing Rude to fall over the top to the floor. Hogan sling shots Perfect back in and continues hammering him. Perfect takes advantage of Hogan and nails a Perfect-Plex in a ROYAL RUMBLE See other acts of stupidity at the end of the 1993 Royal Rumble, under Randy Savage. Hogan no sells Perfect's offense and slingshots him to the post and lays him with a clothesline. He signals for the end and Tosses Perfect over the top rope for the win at 58:54. A great Royal rumble (coming in 2nd to 1992) and basically was enjoyable to watch. ****1/4 for this. Hogan celebrates until the show comes to an end.

 

-Overall the show is mediocre. The undercard was basically trashed but was saved by the Rumble. Thumbs in the middle, leaning up though on it.

[Guest Michael Joel Benoit]

Hey nWoscorpion, would it be okay if I posted your ppv rants on my site?

[Guest nWoScorpion]

i guess so, with full credit though....

[Guest DeputyHawk]

hey scorpion, i always enjoy reading your reviews. any chance of yourself or anyone else in the smarks krew folder having year-based rants, ie running through the main angles of 88, 89, 90, etc. maybe this has been done already and i missed it?

[Guest Michael Joel Benoit]

Okay. Can you do a rants of In Your House 3, Unforgiven 1999, 2000, and 2001?

[Guest Michael Joel Benoit]

I would really apperciate it if you could, thanks.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

hey scorpion, i always enjoy reading your reviews. any chance of yourself or anyone else in the smarks krew folder having year-based rants, ie running through the main angles of 88, 89, 90, etc. maybe this has been done already and i missed it?

Can you clarify that a little bit. LOL.

[Guest Aero]

Basically, what he means is have there been any rants on a certain year in the WWF or WCW. Like, for 1995 WWF, you would basically talk about all the horrible angles, gimmicks, Mabel, Diesel, by month or topic. In fact, I might even do a "Year-Based Rant" on my favorite WWF year... 1997

[Guest nWoScorpion]

I never have oddly. Maybe I will sooner or later

[Guest DeputyHawk]

Basically, what he means is have there been any rants on a certain year in the WWF or WCW. Like, for 1995 WWF, you would basically talk about all the horrible angles, gimmicks, Mabel, Diesel, by month or topic. In fact, I might even do a "Year-Based Rant" on my favorite WWF year... 1997

that's exactly what i meant, yes. that would rule all kinds of ... things, as throughout the last ten 15 years or so i have watched off and on, and there are big chunks of missing knowledge. month-by-month reviews of different years (esp late 80s/early 90s) would be stunning if anyone thinks they are up to it.