OAOAST IntenselyHeldDOWN~! 6/24/02

[Guest alfdogg]

HOLD ME DOWN By Tommy Lee hiyts and INTENSLYHELDDOWN HITS THE AIR~!

 

 

Stroke 9’s “Kick Some Ass” hits as the entire Deadly Alliance makes their way out. OAOAST World Champion Caboose, OAOAST US Champion Alfdogg, Co-IZHD Commissioner Big Poppa Popick, and newest member Sandman9000. All four men enter the ring and stand on the middle ropes, saluting the crowd in their own unique ways. BPP grabs the mic and orders that the music be cut.

BPP-“ So, here is what everyone wanted. The state of the DA address. Well, I'll tell you what kind of a state we're in, a state of revelry! Now, I don't want to hog anyone else's time, so let me just touch on a few things I am proud of.”

BPP-“ I'm proud to have been the US Champ, like Alfdogg is right here. Know what else? I'm proud to have retired AnglePlax, and did all you good fans a huge favor by getting rid of a no-good, low-down, has-been, wannabe, flag-waving, dick-sucking cronie of that no good AngleSlut.”

BPP-“ And tonight...oh tonight...I get to take on SuperStar, er, SuperShit. Because the In-Crowd thinks theyre all that...And sure, you cheer for them, while we beat them within an inch of their pathetic lives...HA! Tonight, you all will learn why, when it always comes to the Big Dance, I have always...won. Ask BigMcFuckingHugeAsses, ask AnglePlax. Heh, and ask Eskimo what happens when someone gets lucky and beats me. I haven't forgotten Eskimo...and your day in my sun will come again.”

BPP-“ Finally...there's been a new talent signed, some masked wrestler named...get this guys...The All-American Boy...what the? He's from CANADA...obviously he is like most Americans...stupid. Just a word of warning Mr. Masked Man...I don't believe you are who you say you are, and with 1 shred of evidence, you're gone from here. I am the Commish.”

BPP-“ Now can you dig that, Succcccccccckkkka! *crowd echoes it*”

BPP hands the mic over to Caboose, who warily takes it. BPP starts to make out with Celes. Caboose looks on in disguist, then begins to talk.

Caboose-“Will all of you, please, just quiet down for a second? Now, last week, Zack Malibu somehow defeated the “almighty” Anglesault and won himself a #1 Contendor spot for Beach Blast. That is all fine and good. For you see, I have nothing to fear from Zack Malibu. Zack is nothing more than a glorified midcarder who is fighting out of his league. In this case, WAY out of his league. Zack is better off jobbing to people in the opener, or better yet, the dark match, then main eventing a PPV with me. At Beach Blast, I shall show the world for whom Zack truly is: a scared little boy, playing in a man’s world.”

Caboose hands the microphone over to Alfdogg.

Alf-“It's come to my attention that the SuperShit, James Allen, is now trying to be "In". And in his attempts, he is now out to do in with the Deadly Alliance. Now, last I checked, I was a member of the Deadly Alliance. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some two-bit jobber like SuperShit put even a dent in the Deadly Alliance. But you know what...I'm a generous man. So I'll tell you what I'll do...At Beach Brawl, SuperShit, you can have a shot at my United States title. Just a warning, though...you mess with the Deadly Alliance, you mess with Alfdogg. And when you mess with Alfdogg, Alfdogg takes you down. Just like I took cobainwasmurdered down at AngleSlam, just like I took Angleslut down last Thursday, and just like I took evenflowDDT down at the Great Angle Bash. And now, Sandman has something to say.”

Alf hands the microphone over to Sandman, who immediately jumps onto the middle rope and flips the crowd off with both hands. As they react like the trained sheep they are, Sandman starts to spout his shit.

SM9K-“Kiss my ass. No, seriously, every single person here, with the exception of the people in this ring, can kiss my ass. I fucking hate each and every single one of you. Especially you, you fat shit. ::Sandman points to a rotund gentleman in the front section:: Hey, what are you doing so close to the ring? I figured you would be further back, since it would be less of a walk and be closer to the concession stands. ::The gentleman stands up as the people around him also yell at Sandman:: Nah, buddy, don’t stand up! If you have a heart attack from all that exercise, we’re gonna have to stop the show to carry your fat and dead ass out! ::The large gentleman makes his way towards the guardrail, as security comes over to stop him:: Let him through! I swear, just let his fat ass through and I’ll knock at least 300 pounds off his fat face! Let him through! I’ll show all you fucking people that I am not a fucking joke! I’ll rip his fucking head off and piss in it! Let his fucking fat ass through! ::Security has the man ejected from the arena:: Fucking pussy. Like everyone here in this arena, no one has the balls to even try and start shit.”

SM9K-“I should probably answer as to why I joined the Deadly Alliance. First, let me just state that I don’t owe any of you anything, much less an explanation. I’m doing this because I want to, not because I have to. When I first joined the OAOAST, MarioLogan offered me a spot in his Dungeon of Doom. I turned it down, since I wanted to stand on my own. And I got my ass kicked. When Zack Malibu offered me a spot in the In Crowd, I turned it down, since I wanted to stand on my own. Instead, Zack adds Evenfag and SuperShit into the In-The-BUTT Crowd, and I got my ass kicked again. When the bastard of all that is good, AngleSault, added me to the aWo War Games team, and then offered me a spot in the anal World order, I turned it down. Why? BECAUSE I WANTED TO STAND ON MY OWN, AND I GOT MY ASS KICKED! Anyone else here see a fucking pattern?

SM9K-“That is why I joined the Deadly Alliance. Everytime I tried to stand alone, I lost. I’m not a fucking idiot. Strength comes in numbers. Numbers is what the Deadly Alliance has. Face it, we’ve got all the power in the OAOAST. We got the OAOAST World Champion, we got the OAOAST US Champion, and we got one of the commissioners of IZHD! And if that wasn’t enough, they have the most violent, sadistic, psychotic, crazy, evil human beings to ever walk the earth: me.

SM9K-“SuperShit, you wanna talk shit about me selling out by not standing on my own, and now joining this powerful group? Big talk from someone who is a lackey in a group himself! If you truly believe that I was better when I was on my own and getting my ass kicked, then why don’t you leave the In Crowd and stand on your own? Because, until you do that, you are nothing but a hypocrite, just like every person in this arena, just like every Christian I have ever met, just like every person who tells me that I have made a big mistake when they would have done the same thing. And, now, this leads me to one of the main points I wanted to make. See, BPP, and this man kicks so much ass people. You don’t know the half of it. ::Sandman interrupts BPP’s make-out session to give the man a hug:: You see, this guy allowed me to make my own match for Beach Blast. I know Alf wanted to defend his belt against SuperShit, but we already got plans for him. And since Beach Blast is in Los Angeles, Cal-A-Forn-eye-A, at the STAPLES Center, me and SuperShit are going to go mano-e-mano, in a STAPLE GUN DEATH MATCH!! I’m gonna staple your fucking balls to your fucking face! You worthless piece of shit! I’m gonna fucking destroy you! ::The rest of the Deadly Alliance tries to calm down Sandman:: No, don’t fucking hold me back! I’m declaring a Jihad on the rest of the OAOAST! We grow more powerful by the day, while the rest grow weaker. The anal World order? Half the members have left! Who is left? AS, CWM, Some Guy, and the false Big? That’s really fucking impressive! All their stroke left when Caboose kicked AS’s ass and took his belt. All they got left is tubs of KY and the tag belts! And I guaranfuckingtee you that BPP and one of us is gonna take those from you. What about the In-The-BUTT Crowd? I’m gonna staple SuperShit’s fucking mouth shut so I don’t ever have to hear him talk again! Evenfag? He’s in a hospital bed somewhere, knowing that the day he comes back, I’m gonna split his skull open and smear his brains on the ground! That slut sister of mine, Alison? She’s gonna be too busy trying to top the world’s gangbang record in some back alleyway, except she won’t put it on camera! And Zack? If you want to get to Caboose, you got to get through me and the rest of us. You won’t ever get that title shot. BECAUSE who is left? MME? He ain’t shit, and his TV belt is MINE? GenNev and Reject? They ain’t shit? MarioLogan? NO, BECAUSE I FUCKING RETIRED THE DOD! ME! I DID IT! Mario is never gonna come back! The Dungeon is never gonna come back! Green Mist is never gonna come back! And Jingus wears a fucking dress and has a fucking period! I AM NOT A FUCKING JOKE! YOU WILL RESPECT ME!

::As Sandman screams into the microphone, SuperStar runs through the crowd, jumps the guardrail, and enters the ring, clipping Caboose. The crowd cheers, as SuperStar knocks each TDA member down one by one. Finally, the numbers catch up, as Caboose and Alf each hit belt shots on SuperStar, knocking him down. All four members put the boots to SuperStar as the crowd boos. Finally, Sandman grabs his mop, and as the rest of TDA hold SuperStar down, Sandman savagely beat SuperStar until the mop breaks, some 30 or 40 shots::

SM9K-“YOU THINK I’M A FUCKING JOKE! I SWEAR THAT I WILL NEVER TOUCH A FUCKING MOP AGAIN! I AM DONE WITH BEING THE TOWEL BOY! I AM NOT THE BITCH OF THIS FEDERATION! YOU, SUPERSHIT, ARE MY BITCH NOW! Come BeachBlast, I will ensure that you will never mess with me, or the Deadly Alliance, as long as we are breathing.

::Zack Malibu and Reject come down the aisle. TDA tosses SuperStar’s body out of the ring, in front of Zack and Reject. “Kick Some Ass” plays as TDA walks out, as Zack and Reject tend to SuperStar. The war just heated up even more.

 

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

A man surfing in the water is shown.

 

The theme from Jaws plays in the background.

 

A shark appears and bites the guys surfboard which is bitten like the Beach Brawl logo.

 

Sunday, July 14th, from the Staples Center in the "City of Angels" -- you won't be bitten by a shark...but by OaOast action!

 

It's the first ever OaOast Beach Brawl~!

 

For the OaOast World Heavyweight title, it's former allies, now bitter foes fighing each other. Caboose takes on In Crowd member, Zack Malibu!

 

More matches to be announced in the upcoming weeks.

 

It's Beach Brawl.

 

OaOast Beach Brawl

July 14th

LIVE! Only on Pay-Per-View!

 

WELCOME BACK~!

 

 

"Sandstorm" plays as new pyro (grey and blue) explode from the arena to signal the arrival of Big Poppa Popick. Accompanied to the ring this time by his girl Celes, BPP is assailed by massive boos and trash-talking fans. BPP jaws with a few of them ringside before hitting the ring, holding the ropes so Celes can come in and join her man for a brief minute.

 

Celes slips out of the ring and stays ringside at a chair when …

 

Fireworks fly off the stage as a battered James Allen walks down ringside, sharing some high fives with the fans, all the while posing for the crowd. They eat it up and give him a rousing cheer as he flips into the ring, coming face to face with the Big Poppa. The two have a stare-down as the bell rings.

 

BPP with some words, and then rears back to knock SuperStar in the noggin! BPP uses his momentum to send James to the ropes, and then with an Irish whip to the other side, Popick uses a high knee lift to gain an early advantage.

 

As the SuperStar lays trying to shake his senses back, BPP scales the turnbuckle early, flashing a thumbs up to Celes. BPP off and goes for a double-axehandle, but SS ducks down and pops back up to hit the Commissioner with a release Belly-to-Belly!

 

SuperStar in control, and he lays the boot's into BPP's midsection. SuperStar with a pickup, and a stalling suplex that rocks the ring! James floats into a cover, but BPP kicks out right after the 1!

 

SuperStar locks in a full-nelson to BPP, and as a groggy BPP gets up, SS brings him down in the Upper Class! James with the cover again, but BPP kicks out before the hand falls twice.

 

SS gets a little frustrated, and so he sets BPP up for a brainbuster, but Popick uses his momentum to come over and behind…locking in a full-nelson and pulling SuperStar up and over into a FINALITY!!! BPP takes awhile to get over to cover, and SuperStar kicks out in 2!

 

Popick back in control, chopping SS to the turnbuckle..BPP with another Irish whip, but SS reverse and throws BPP into the turnbuckle! With a couple of chops…SS turns to the ref and points at Celes, distracting the official enough to land a Well Placed Kick To The Nuts on BPP! Popick's eyes roll back into his head as SS places him up top…

 

SuperStar with a SuperPlex! James Allan climbs the turnbuckle and poses to the crowd. He leaps off for the SUPERSPLASH, but BPP gets his knees up…James clutches his stomach and rolls off to the side…BPP limps up and follows James over…pulling him up and planting him with a sick ddt.

 

BPP scales to the top and launches into the JUST DEADLY! It connects, but BPP hurts his ribs from the impact…Again BPP takes too long to cover as SS kicks out before the 3.

 

BPP, upset with the count, goes to argue with the referee, giving SuperStar time to recover. BPP whips SuperStar into the ropes, and scales up for a 10-punch count along, that only gets to 7 before James Allen has enough and grabs BPP by the waist into a SitDown PowerBomb for a long 2 count!

 

Superstar senses this could be the end, and picks up a near unconscious Big Poppa, placing him into a tombstone like-position. STAR POWER! STAR POWER! The ref makes the count…1…2….three…no! BPP has his right foot on the bottom rope! SuperStar thought he had it won, and argues with the ref…but to no avail.

 

SuperStar comes over to pick up BPP, but BPP hits a Inside Cradle that almost gets the pin! SS with a stiff kick to BPP's head, and once again SS goes up top. He tries another SuperSplash, and this one connects perfectly…

 

SS with the cover, and the ref comes over to count…1…2…no! BPP's foot is again on the ropes. SS is making a rookie mistake of not pinning in the middle of the ring. But, it hardly matters as BPP is way out of it, and Celes has a concerned look on her face.

 

SuperStar yells to the crowd: ENOUGH, HE'S FINISHED! He slaps a full-nelson and signals to the crowd that its time for the Dragon Driver. But BPP runs back and runs SS into the turnbuckle…BPP places James on the top rope…and with one last rush of adrenaline, rushes up the turnbuckle and latches on a full-nelson, coming down in a Tiger Driver situation he likes to call the IconoClasm!!!

 

BPP with the hook of the left leg as the ref makes the count…1…2..no! SuperStar got his right foot on the rope! BPP looks pissed at the ref…and makes like he is going to hit him, when SS tackles BPP from behind, turning around and James hit a Front Suplex! BPP is grounded and SS goes up-top for his third SuperSplash!

 

But SuperStar instead jumps off the turnbuckle and hits a diving hurricanrana on Celes! SS with a happy grin on his face as he scales the turnbuckle…but BPP is there to knock James off balance and the SuperStar is now super crotched…Popick up and looks at what's happened to Celes…He hits a frontal full-nelson, choking SuperStar. BPP leaps with the In-Crowd Member in his clutches, rotates a full-180 degrees, and they come crash down to the mat as SS gets hit with the OverDriver! The Referee counts…1…2…3!

 

BPP rolls out of the ring to check on Celes, and the two limp up the stage as SuperStar recovers and stares at BPP from the ring…It's pretty obvious this could've gone either way, but BPP gets the win moreso from his advantage in experience.

 

Your winner, at 18:35, by the OverDriver, Big Poppa Popick

 

----Commerical for Battlebowl

 

July 4th, it's known for American celebrating its independence...not anymore! On July 4th, OaOast proudly presents Battlebowl: The Dash to Beach Brawl~! 32 of the biggest and baddest OaOast Superstars will be drawn by random to see who teams up with who in the Lethal Lottery. That means you could see Zack Malibu team with Caboose to face EvenflowDDT & The Superstar. Anything is possible.

 

The winners of the Lethal Lottery tag matches advance to Battlebowl. A 16 man battle royal. The winner of Battlebowl receives a shot at the OaOast World Heavyweight title at the next TV special "Ashes 2 Ashes" in August.

 

Battlebowl: The Dash to Beach Brawl is July 4th!

 

 

Tony "The Body": Welcome back to Intensely HeldDOWN! At this time we're going to draw the first two Lethal Lottery teams who will meet July 4th at Battlebowl.

 

The first name is....Freddy (boo) His partner....Jason (boo). That's two members of the Dungeon of Doom teaming with each other.

 

Their opponents. Representing the In Crowd, Zack Malibu (Cheers) His partner...Taskmaster Logan! (boo)

 

Whoa! There you have it. The first match on Battlebowl is Freddy & Jason vs. Zack Malibu & Taskmaster Logan.

 

On July 4th, we'll find out the rest of the teams. We'll be back after this time out.

 

The Masked Mystery Eskimo Vs. Treble Charged

 

ICE ICE BABY By Vanilla Ice hits and The Masked Mystery Eskimo makes his way to ringside, he is as always accompanied by Derek The Fish. BRAND NEW LOW hits and Treble Charged enters the arena but the strange thing is he’s dressed up as failed WWF gimmick ‘The Goon’, TC grabs a Mic,

 

TC: Anglesault’s crony CWM has decreed that I have to wear THIS to the ring tonight and wrestle in it! I ask you is that fair! (fans yell YES) SHUT UP! I HATE YOU, I’m going to beat my former partner and then I’m going to beat the SON OF A BITCH ANGLESAULT!

 

 

TC turns around and walks right into MME who is holding out a fish to TC in an offer of friendship. TC smacks the fish away and kicks it out of the ring. MME gets a shocked look on his face before going into an insane rage! MME nails TC with a hard punch to the head and then a kick to the stomach. MME hits a PENGUIN KICK, 1…2…NO TC kicks out.

 

MME picks him up for a BLIZZARD BOMB but TC hits a low blow and then a desperation DDT. As both men lie in a heap in the ring, DA RIGHT ANGLE hits and AngleSault chair in hand storms the ring, he pushes the Ref out of the way and nails TC over the head and then locks on the SALT AND PEPPER LOCK! TC ois screaming in pain and the ref calls for the bell.

 

Winner by DQ: Treble Charged

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK, Caboose I need you matches and All American Boy send a promo, the show will continue after RAW.

 

::Coming back from commercial, a man with a mask jumps over the

railing and runs into the ring. He has a microphone in his hand::

 

 

 

All American Boy: Big Poppa Popick, I have a bone to pick with you!

You retired me idol, my favorite superstar ever, Angleplex! Now I may

not be under OAOAST contract, but I want you anytime, anyplace! You

may have retired Angleplex, but his spirit lives on through me, the

ALL AMERICAN BOY!

 

 

 

::The man runs off back through the crowd as security chases after

him::

 

 

Jingus Vs. Flyboy/GreenMist

 

GreenMist and Flyboy are already in the ring. Jingus's music hits but instead of entering from the top of the stage he bursts through the ring and pulls himself up into the ring.

 

Greenmist takes one look at him and runs for the hills. Flyboy turns to follow but Jingus grabs him and gives him a CLAW SLAM. Jingus then grabs him and squeezes his head until blood begins to pour out of his mouth and ears. Flyboy passes out.

 

WINNER: Jingus!

 

CWM/Some Guy Vs. Zack/Evenflow

 

AwO PORNO MUSIC HITS and CWM/SG dance to the ring.

 

THE SAVED BY THE BELL THEME hits and Zack bearing a bat enters the ring, he grabs a mic,

 

Zack: Evenflow was 'booked' to be my partner but as you all know he's out with an injury. So I found another partner...

 

The lights go out and MASTER OF PUPPETS hit and The Mysterious One rappels down from the ceiling bat in hand.

 

TMO: David, or should I call you CWM? Your fate is in my hands. Tonight I prove it.

 

TMO takes his bat and drives it HARD into the back of Zack's skull.

 

TMO: Tongiht I am mercifull to you. NExt time it will be you lieing unconcious on the mat. Sleep Well.

 

The lights go out and when the come back on TMO is gone and the paramedics are wheeling Zack away.

 

WINNER: No Contest

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

We're taken to the back where Sandman has ambushed Reject...Sandman with a vicious chairshot to Reject, laying him out... We see the new DA member laying the boots into R, until the In-Crowd comes to make the save! Zack and SuperStar and Reject hit a triple SuperKick to Sandman, laying him out.

 

The three turn around into the Deadly Stares of BPP, Caboose, and Alfdogg. THe three rush the In-Crowd, and another massive brawl erupts.

 

The camera loses the feed, but soon enough here come the 7 wrestlers fighting from the back to the ring...

 

Finality to Superstar! End of the Line to Zack! But the aWo porno blares as the men in the red, white, and blue come making the save...Directly behind them are MarioLogan and Jason Voorhees!

 

They're losing total control of the backstage as more wrestlers poor out. Jingus comes out dressed up nicely...looks like his beauty tips segment was cancled by this. Masked Mystery Eskimo comes out and offers fish to stop the fighting, but BPP pulls him in and finalizes him too!

 

A fan jumps the ring and stands in the middle...It's Triple HHH!

 

The lights dim, as "Simply Ravishing" hits...

 

Tony: Okay, enough! What the living hell. Since my booking plans are obviously fucked right now, I order the fifteen men in the ring right now to fight it out in a battle-royal... The winner will get a title shot and must fight Caboose next week on IZ. And Caboose, I am a fair man, if you win, you don't have to defend your title until Beach Brawl.

 

Tony: The battle royal starts now!

 

15-Man Battle Royal for a World Title Shot

 

(Caboose,BPP,AD,Sandman,CWM,SG,AS,BML,Zack,SuperStar,MarioLogan,Jason,MME,Jingus

,Risk, Reject)

 

BPP and CWM lock eyes, and motion to the other OaOasTers. With delight to the crowd, all the OaOasT hits their respective finishers on Triple HHH, and throw him over the top rope!

 

Risk launches himself at Reject, but misses and eliminates himself! Reject laughs, and turns right into a ClawSlam by JIngus! Jingus throws risk over the top rope!

 

Jason kicks Jingus in the balls, and throws him over the rope...However, Jason turns into a Superkick by the SuperStar, and is eliminated.

 

BPP is getting murdered by AS, but ML charges in for the save. AngleSault hits the aWoDDT and the throws Mario out!

 

Sandman tackles AngleSault, who floats around and hits a mammoth German Suplex on Sandman that takes him over the top rope!

 

SomeGuy SomeKicks AD over the top! SG poses but turns around into a double dropkick by BPP/Caboose...SG Is eliminated

 

SuperStar charges BML, who captures him in a suplex...but SS holds onto the ropes, and suplex BML over the top rope and out of the ring!

 

We're down to six men! Caboose, Big Poppa Popick, SuperStar, Zack Malibu, CobainWasMurdered, and AngleSault!

 

 

FINAL SIX: BPP, Caboose, Zack, Superstar, CobainWasMurdered, and Anglesault

 

 

Zack and Superstar go after CWM as BPP and Anglesault lock horns. Zack and Superstar whip CWM into the ropes but CWM hits a double Clothesline and tries to eliminate Zack, but Superstar sneaks up behind him and hits a low blow. He and Zack toss CWM out of the ring. Meanwhile Anglesault has gained the upper hand on BPP and hit the SODIUM DRIVER, AS goes to toss BPP out but BPP slips out of his grasp and goes out under the second rope, thus not being eliminatied.

 

AS Anglesault goes to go after Popick Caboose sneaks up behind him and shoves him out of the ring. Caboose turns around and walks right into Zack and Superstar. Zack and Superstar nod to to each other and they deck Caboose. They pick him up and hit a DOOMSDAY DEVICE. Superstar hold him for Zack as Zack goes for the ZACK ATTACK! BUT at the last possible second Caboose slips out of the way and Zack eliminates Superstar! BPP slides back into the ring and hits FINALITY on a confused Zack. He Slaps Zack a few times in the face and then tosses him out onto the floor.

 

BPP and Caboose smile and Shake hands to a HUGE ‘ASSHOLE’ chant. Caboose turns to leave when out of nowhere All American Boy appears and Levels BPP, BPP falls into Caboose who then tumbles over the top rope eliminating himself! BPP WINS! AAB hits the ANGLEPLEX on BPP and leaves. Caboose climbs back into the ring and when the replay is shown he and Popick nearly come to blows!

 

Winner: BPP

 

In the Back AAB is seen celebrating with the aWo! What does this mean?!?

 

 

 

END OF SHOW