Guest alfdogg Report post Posted September 5, 2002 Tonight, coming live from the University of Pittsburgh Coliseum, will be OaOasT INTENSEzone! Already we have quite a card lined up for you. The In-Crowd, Deadly Alilance, aWo's tag team of doom CWM and SomeGuy will be in Tag Team action! Big Poppa Popick has barred AnglePlex from the arena, but says that the two will have a confrontation tonight! Pandas have been terrorizing Mystery Eskimo all week. Tonight, wrestling's Odd Couple team up to battle these mysterious wWf'ers. All that, and much more, guaranteed to pop, unlike other shows! INTENSEzone! will air tonight, live, at 8pm right here on the VanillaMidgets Network! Blackness. A heart monitor graphic appears on the screen. First beat, a flash of Caboose Second beat, Anglesault runs in with the aWo sledge Third beat, getting faster, the In-Crowd victorious Fourth beat, Jingus clawslamming Risk Fifth beat, The Deadly Alliance poses Sixth beat, Eskimo's third count for the title victory over BPP Seventh beat, near constant, CWM and SomeGuy hitting a double suplex Eight beat, The Mysterious One drops from the rafters Ninth beat, Sandman flies through a table Tenth beat, blackness...A word comes up, Fearless The OaOast logo balloons out to fill the screen. The heartbeat stops. And the PYRO Explodes! We are live and once again SOLD OUT, this time from the University of Pennsylvania Stadium. It's an open arena tonight with 55,000 thousand screaming fans waiting to see what will happen. We've had several matches announced for tonight. We've got a huge main event with World Champ AngleSault teaming with IC champ Alfdogg to take on the #1 Contender Caboose and the HardKore Champion, only 1 week before these men collide at the Great Angle Bash! The Pandas surfaced last week and declared that they would be taking over. Tonight, a match between them and Women's Champion TrebleCharged and US Champ Mystery Eskimo has been signed! CWM and Some Guy tangle once again with MarioLogan and Jingus in a tag team lumberjack match ordered by Big Poppa Popick! Finally, the In-Crowd takes on Reject and BigMcLargeHuge in a warmup match for the Tag Team Tournament. Will we see anything between Big Poppa Popick and AnglePlex again tonight? BPP has said there will be a match, but AP has been barred from the building! Plus, a special interview AngleSault regarding his comeback. Allt this and much more, coming right now! Opening Match: One Fall, 15 Minute Time Limit, Tag Team Match Zack Malibu / Superstar vs. Reject / BigMcLargeHuge Because WRESTLING is what matters most, we cut the intros and join the match as the bell rings. Zack and Reject start out. The two taunt each other, and Reject reaches for a test of strength, which Zack graciously accepts with a swift kick to Reject's lower region. As Reject bowls over in pain, Zack with a pulling PileDriver! Reject is down, and Zack casually steps over his prone body to tag in SuperStar. Reject groggily up and SS looks to hit is SuperStarKick, but Reject dodges and catches the IC member with a modified TazzPlex! Tag to BML, who brings arthur in to whip SuperStar around the ring with. When SS spits on SuperStar, BML sprays SS with some form of blinding liquid! While blinded, SS thrashes violently as BML uses the opportunity to go low and rollup with a schoolboy...SS rolls through it and mounts BML, hitting him with blistering punches across the face. SS drags GM to the corner and tags in Zack, where the two hit a Double-Team SuperStarKick! BML is groggy in the corner, so Zack sets up top to launch a hurricanrana. Zack covers for a 2-count broken up by Reject. Reject tackles Zack down to the outside...as the two brawl..SuperStar comes over to give SS a front dropkick followed by the SHOOTINGSUPERSTARPRESS, but the ref won't make the count. SS argues with the ref and misses Risk lining up for a hard kick to the temple. BML taunts the fallen star and walks right into A ZACK ATTACK! Lights out for the wannabe ninja...but Zack fails to see Reject roll behind and grab the tights for a 3-count. The ref, who didn't see the tight-grabbing, awards the match to the duo of Reject and BML! YOUR WINNER, BY PINFALL, the team of REJECT and BIGMCLARGEHUGE! ---Commercial Break--- JINGUS shills new Certs Breathmints... We're back and the camera is at the DAPA office! Only BPP is in there at this time, when TrebleCharged walks in and demands to know why he is still being made to wear an evening gown. BPP: Well, you are the women's champ. We must have you look good and represent the division well. Besides, you have a title match on HELDdown anyways. It's good practice, because the one thing me and CWM have ever agreed on is that you look good in that dress... TC: And who the hell is going to be my opponent? BPP: Oh, I arranged a nice warmup match for my bud Caboose. TC: Fuck you Popick. I hope, and I can't believe I'm saying this, AngleSault and the aWo kick your ass. BPP: Be sure to share that with him when he's in the unemployment line. TC storms out, and BPP props his feet on his desk and smokes a stoge. ---Commercial Break--- Second Match: One Fall, 20 Minute Time Limit, Special Stipulation Tag Team Match: Fans Bring the Weapons Greenmist and Sandman vs. The Dungeon of Doom Earlier in the day, as the fans were arriving at the arena, they turned over their weapons to OAOAST officials. After taking out some of the wimpier weapons, such as pillows, and some of the more dangerous ones, such as knives and a loaded shotgun, the remaining weapons are brought out to ringside. Over 200 objects, ranging from chairs and trash cans to windows and other modified objects are available to use. "Hey" hits as Green Mist comes down to the ring, with his hand puppet Arthur. Arthur tells the people in the crowd to "fuck off" as Green Mist stares silently ahead. "Five Minutes Alone" hits as Sandman comes out to the ring. He has his trusty mop, which has been wrapped in barbed wire for this match. No music hits as the Faces of Fear come down to the ring. Jason, The Shape, and Freddy all snarl at the crowd, who is too scared to do anything. Sandman and the Shape to start, with Mist and Freddy on the apron, and Jason standing on the outside. Suddenly, Sandman drops to his knees, as Mist throws a garbage can that nails the Shape in the face! Jason pulls the official out of the ring and clobbers him, as we have a ref bump five seconds into the match! All five men are in the ring and just brawling with each other, as the crowd pops! The three Faces of Fear overpower Sandman and Mist, who are knocked to the outside. Freddy exits the ring, only to be nailed in the head with a frying pan by Mist! Sandman nails Jason in the knee with a bat, and hits the Shape in the stomach with the bat handle. Freddy swipes Sandman with his claw, cutting off the towel boy’s shirt. The Shape then breaks a lightbulb over Sandman’s bare back, before Mist hits him with a barbed wire chair, then Jason nails Mist with a cookie sheet wrapped with steel. Sandman is back to his feet, before his arm is sliced open by Freddy’s claw. Freddy takes a swing at Sandman, who ducks. Freddy’s claw is stuck in the guardrail, and before the monster can pull it out, Sandman hits the claw with a hammer, breaking it! Jason misses Mist with a big boot and catches Shape instead. Mist capitalizes with a leg sweet that stunnes Jason, then breaks a lightbulb over Jason’s back! Sandman smashes a picture frame over Freddy’s back, while Mist hits the Shape in the head with a cookie sheet. Jason clotheslines Mist from behind and tosses him back into the ring, while Shape throws objects into the ring. On the other side of the ring, Freddy has Sandman face first against the ring apron and is rolling a paint roller with thumbtacks on it over Sandman’s bloody back! In the ring, Mist takes a chair shot from Shape, before a barbed wire crutch to the back from Jason. On the outside, Freddy smashes a mirror over Sandman’s back, then a window. Sandman’s back is completely red. Mist hits Shape in the balls with a pair of nunchucks, then hits Jason in the stomach with a pool cue. Mist breaks the pool cue over Jason’s back, while Freddy takes four lightbulbs tape together and smashes them over Sandman’s back! Mist throws a trash can lid at Freddy, nailing him the face, but gets hit in the back by Jason with a box fan. Shape takes a golf club with lightbulbs on it and smashes it over Mist’s back. Sandman grabs a barbed wire tennis racket and nails Freddy in the back with it. Outside of the ring, Shape and Jason bring a bed of mousetraps into the ring! Sandman hits Freddy in the back with a thumbtack bat, then hits Freddy in the face with it! Sandman slides into the ring and hits Jason in the stomach with the thumbtack bat. Shape pounds Sandman down so Sandman is on his knees, but Mist hits a spinning heel kick, causing Shape to trip over Sandman and fall into the bed of mousetraps! His fat is pinched by the traps, while Jason hits a big boot on Mist. Freddy climbs into the ring with a piece of wood and breaks it over Sandman’s head! Jason brings in a massive cross, made out of around 25 lightbulbs, and places it in the corner. Sandman hits Freddy in the stomach with a barbed wire trash can, while Mist nails Shape with a 2x4. Sandman and Mist clothesline Jason out of the ring with the 2x4, and duck as Freddy comes after the two of them and flies out of the ring, onto Jason! Sandman and Mist hits Total Elimination on Shape, Mist with roundhouse and Sandman with the leg sweep. Both men go up top, on opposite turnbuckles, as Shape struggles to his feet. Sandman hits the 666 Diving Mop Shot with his barbed wire mop, knocking Shape to the ground. Mist hits a double foot stomp from the top, with his feet wrapped in barbed wire! Mist with the cover as Sandman tackles Jason. 1...2...3! Green Mist and Sandman9000 are victorious over the Faces of Fear, who do not take the loss in stride. Jason throws Sandman out of the ring, into the hands of Freddy. Jason chokeslams Mist into the bed of mousetraps! Shape and Freddy grab Mist and double powerbomb him through the massive lightbulb cross in the corner! On the outside, Freddy is butching Sandman with his one claw before throwing him over the guardrail, into the crowd. The two seem to be heading towards the 30 foot balcony, with Jason and Shape following. Freddy leads Sandman up the stairs, with Jason following. Shape stands below the balcony and sets up two tables side by side, then starts dumping some kind of liquid onto the tables. At the top of the balcony, Jason breaks a chair over Sandman’s head before delivering a chokeslam. On the ground, Shape takes a lighter and lights both of the tables on fire, as Jason has Sandman pressed over his head! Jason then throws Sandman off the balcony, through both flaming tables! EMT’s arrive as the Faces of Fear celebrate. They may have lost the match, but they delivered a message to Green Mist and Sandman9000! ---Commercial Break he Great Angle Bash Triple Main Event! "Prince of Darkness" World Title Match - AngleSault(Champ) vs. Caboose United States Title Unification - EvenflowDDT(IC) vs. Alfdogg(HK) "Career vs. Job" - AnglePlex vs. Big Poppa Popick Semi-Final 1 of the Tag Team Tourney The In-Crowd vs. The Deadly Alliance Semi-Final 2 of the Tag Team Tourney The aWo vs. The Odd Couple Finals of the Tag Team Tourney No DQ, Hair vs. Hair - BigMcLargeHuge vs. TheSoleSurvivor Tower of Doom Cage Match Dungeon of Doom vs. Unknown "Miss OaOasT" Competition TrebleCharged vs. Molly ---Commercial Break We come back to see BPP in the office, very relaxed and happy. Jimmy Hendrix plays in the background. CWM walks into the office. BPP: Hey, asshole! How's it going, take a seat buuuudy CWM: You feeling allright Big? BPP: Yeah buddy, these stoges are really hitting the spot. I wonder who sent them. CWM: I don't know, I guess even you have fans...Mind if I like one of the fatties. BPP: Sure man... The Camera fades away Third Match: One Fall, 20 minute time limit, Tag Team Match TrebleCharged/The Mystery Eskimo vs. The Pandas "Ice, Ice, Baby" plays and TrebleCharged and The Mystery Eskimo make their way down to the ring. As they enter, the camera shifts to black and white, and we hear "W....W...F" and the old wWf porno music blares as three men in Panda suits make their way down to the ring. The Odd Couple looks at Big Panda Cool, the Panda Guy, and Hollywood Panda. The bell rings and we're on! Big Panda Cool locks up with TC, who slaps the Panda back to the ropes and whips BPC into a hanging clothesline. PBC is down, and TC Trebles Up and tries to hit a legdrop. PBC rolls away and beings to maul TC, who crawls to his corner for the tag from Eskimo. Big Panda Cool tags in PG, who belts out a ferocious Roar. The two men run at each other, and Eskimo chops the leg out of PG. Eskimo quickly hits is RollingWhaleSuplexs and locks in the FrostBite FaceLock!, but the manager Hollywood Panda pulls Eskimo out of the ring and throws TME into the ringsteps. In the ring...TC ducks a double clothesline by the two pandas, and hits one of his own. Both pandas roll out of the ring as the ref deals with the Eskimo/The Panda Guy altercation. From behind, another Panda comes in and whacks TC with a loaded fish. Mystery Panda out to argue with the ref as Eskimo is rolled in. The Panda Guy and Big Panda Cool for a DoubleChokeSlam. The Panda Guy with a cover for the 3 count! PandaFour into the ring and immediately slaps Eskimo. He pulls off his PandaMask...It's RISK! Risk has a microphone: Risk: Eskimo, your gimmick makes me sick! Sick that I had to resort to these means to teach you a lesson! At GAB, I'm taking you out, and taking your title away. So think about that, because Pandas: We're... Taking... Over... ---In the back... Alfdogg: Have you seen him? Voice: No, we don't have a clue where he is. Alfdogg: But he's got a match at the Great Angle Bash, does he even know, or care? Voice: Well, he did get alot of injuries against AngleSault. Alfdogg: Don't remind me, at least the plan worked. Caboose walks up to his pal in the Deadly Alliance. Caboose: Who you talking about? Alfdogg: Soley, haven't seen him in awhile, have you? Caboose: Nope, hey, you know BPP kinda screwed us with this tag team match right? Alfdogg hangs up the phone, and looks annoyed. Alfdogg: Yeah, I know...What the hell was he smoking... Caboose: Not really Alfie, here's an idea he told me yesterday Alfdogg and Caboose are heard whispering, and then the two let out an evil laugh...What is this about? ---Commercial Break Coming Soon, to fine stores near you, OaOasT: The Video Game! That's right! Control all your favorite superstars like AngleSault, Caboose, CobainWasMurdered, Big Poppa Popick, Alfdogg, and AnglePlex! Or, create your own and see how you match up. A special story mode can take you on a quest to become the next World Champion AngleSault: Of course, that means you'll have to be good enough to defeat me, oh it's true, it's DAMN true! Coming to stores soon! Don't miss this chance! ---Commercial Break An American flag waves in the background. In front of us sits AngleSault on a chair. He turns around to face the camera, and the crowd pops. AS: Just a few weeks ago, I stood up for everyone decent in the OaOasT against the Deadly Alliance. I through the scum off the cage. And what happened? One of my very own betrayed me. Hell, Caboose, you even betrayed the people! AS: Now, my red, white, and blue colors mean something. I believe in America, and I believe in the people. I believe in equal opportunity, in the dream, and in freedom. And I belive in your freedom to get your ass kicked Caboose. AS: But that's not why I requested this time. I wanted to thank the people for all the cards, letters, gifts, marriage proposals, and the nights upon nights of great...well, American life. Because this weekend, at the Great ANGGGGGLLLLLEEELALALALA Bash, my present for the people will be another victory for the good guys. Meanwhile, back at the DAPA office. A haze fills the room as CWM and BPP continue to smoke a fine cigar. BPP: Pardon me man, but I've got a match right now with AnglePlax, so if you're cool, just chill out here CWM: Man, I need to be going too, got a match myself you sly bastard. But can you sign this right here, it's for the TC/Caboose match on HeldDown, just for your approval. BPP: Sure man. *BPP Signs the paper and leaves* CWM smiles, the camera pans around and focuses in on the document. At the top, it says "Women's Title Evening Gown Match, both competitors must wear an Evening Gown preapproved by the Board of Directors. Said signatures approve...." CWM: BPP, man, welcome to my neck of the woods. Can't handle the smoke eh? CWM takes a drag, and chuckles... One Fall, Fifteen Minute Time Limit, Singles Match Big Poppa Popick vs. AnglePlax "Sandstorm" plays and BPP comes out looking quite relaxed, going so far as to even shake the fan's hands at ringside. BPP with a mic at the end of the ring. BPP: Now I know you all can't wait until the Great Angle Bash to see the last of AnglePlex *Crowd boos* so I decided that we can show you all tonight what it's gonna look like. So AnglePlex, come on out here and face your finality. "aWo porno plays" and AP? wait, that's not AP, It's a midget dressed like AnlgePlex. The midget runs to the ring and starts to gnaw on BPP's leg, who picks the little feller up and half-heartedly slams him down to the mat. BPP with the COCKY PIN, and the ref counts 1...2...3! YOUR WINNER, BY PINFALL, BIG POPPA POPICK! The crowd throws trash into the ring as BPP walks away smiling... ---Commercial Break--- Fans, Don't miss out on the newest craze. Get your official In-Crowd shirt today! Only 29.95 plus tax if you live in the following states: Alaska. Also, pick up your aWo koozies and Dungeon of Doom mousepads, on sale today at CheckOutZone! ---Commercial Break--- One Fall, 20 Minute Time Limit, Tag Team Match w/ Lumberjacks CWM/Some Guy vs. MarioLogan/Jingus "Ave Satani" plays as the entire Dungeon of Doom marches to ringside. Jingus and MarioLogan take their place in the corner, laughing, as the crowd boos. "aWo Porno" blares and the crowd erupts and CWM and Some Guy STRUT their way out. Both look at the DoD members, and rush right into the ring. The bell rings as Jingus tackles CWM...who isn't phased. With a "Whatever" look on his face, CWM continues to no sell the monster's offense. It's like he's not even feeling it! Jingus gets upset and tries for a big splash, but CWM dodges and nails a release german on the monster. CWM doesn't cover, rather he poses and tags in Some Guy, who looks at his partner in bewilderment. The monster is back up and Some Guy connects with a SOMEkick to send the big man into the ropes. SG with a whip and a flying crossbody, which is caught by a running Jingus and countered to a big FALLAWAYSLAM. Jingus tags in MarioLogan Mario runs over and belts out a cackle, throwing SG outside as the Dungeon mauls him. The SHAPE hits a big splash, Freddy with some clawing, and Jason finishes with a powerbomb! The three roll SG back into the ring where Mario covers, but only for a 2 count! Mario picks up SG and hits him with a suplex! Mario looks at the turnbuckle, and thus climbs. As he reaches the top, SG stirs enough to lunge for the ropes, crotch-shotting Mario. SG up the turnbuckle with some punches to the gut of Mario, setting ML up for a SOMESUPERPLEX!!! Both men down. The ref counts to 7 before SG makes a tag to a laid-back CWM. Mario makes the tag to Jingus, who lunges headfirst past a dodging CWM and straight into the turnbuckle. CWM with a casual schoolboy for a 1-count! Jingus back up with a massive clothesline, he's looking pissed off. SomeGuy begs for the tag, but gets a Goldbergesque kick to the head! SG is out and on the outside, where the Dungeon mauls him as well. Jingus with a whip towards ML, who jumps over the rope to hit a big-time missile dropkick. Jingus with a pickup on CWM, into a CLAWSLAM! ML begs for the tag, so Jingus reluctantly agrees. ML runs over and covers CWM, who looks non-chalantly at the ref as the count hits 1...2...3! CWM rolls out of the ring and over the barricade as the DoD celebrate their first victory...ever? How will SomeGuy and CWM recover in time for GAB? ---Commercial Break--- he Great Angle Bash Triple Main Event! "Prince of Darkness" World Title Match - AngleSault(Champ) vs. Caboose United States Title Unification - EvenflowDDT(IC) vs. Alfdogg(HK) "Career vs. Job" - AnglePlex vs. Big Poppa Popick Semi-Final 1 of the Tag Team Tourney The In-Crowd vs. The Deadly Alliance Semi-Final 2 of the Tag Team Tourney The aWo vs. The Odd Couple Finals of the Tag Team Tourney Television Title Match - The Mystery Eskimo(Champ) vs. Risk No DQ, Hair vs. Hair - BigMcLargeHuge vs. TheSoleSurvivor Tower of Doom Cage Match Dungeon of Doom vs. Unknown "Miss OaOasT" Competition TrebleCharged vs. Molly ---Commercial Break--- Main Event Tag Team Match AngelSault/Alfdogg vs. Caboose/EvenflowDDT "Kick Some Ass" plays and Caboose comes down with Alfdogg. They're on opposite teams! The two high-five and hit their respective corners with smiles on their faces. "Popular" hits and EvenflowDDT comes out to join Caboose. Alfdogg and Evenflow exchange a stare in the ring. "Da Right Angle" starts up and the crowd goes crazy as the pyro explodes with AngleSault coming down to the ring. He looks at all three, and immediately is in the ring tackling caboose with a spear! AS with INTENSE rights and lefts. He picks up Caboose and whips C into the ropes, following with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker...Caboose, having good presence of mind, rolls over his corner to tag in EvenflowDDT. Alfdogg begs for the tag, and AS decides to let his former foe go to work. In a preview of the GAB, both men lock up. Evenflow gets the leverage advantage and hits AD with a DDT! AD gets back up, but gets clotheslined down. EF with mounted punches to a 7-count until AD rolls out and locks EF's legs up in a modified Figure Four! EF scrambles to the ropes as AD buys himself some time. Caboose drops down below the ring for a moment, and then gets the tag from Evenflow to get back in...About the same time AS gets the tag from Alfdogg...The two charge, and Caboose dodges AS right and hits him with a LOADED RIGHT HAND! Caboose drags AS to his corner and tags back in Evenflow. EF goes up top for a big splash, but Caboose pushes him off. Caboose and Alfdogg lock eyes, and smile. They enter the ring and go right at AngleSault, hitting him with a dual clothesline. Evenflow comes in and smacks Caboose in the back of the head, which the ref takes as a tag. Alfdogg separates the two and says it was a mistake, but then nails Evenflow with a vicious chop to the chest and rolling DDT. Of course, AS is back up and the Deadly Alliance members haven't noticed this...they turn around from their beatdown of Evenflow to get clotheslined over the top rope! AS immediately with the ANGLELOCK on Evenflow, who taps! YOUR WINNERS, BY PINFALL, ANGLESAULT AND ALFDOGG. After the match, AS bails as Zack Malibu runs down to the ring, flanked by Big Poppa Popick. BPP and ZM confront AD and Caboose about their actions, with BPP reminding Caboose about their "agreement." Caboose: Isn't this part of the agreement? Caboose leaves as Zack stares at BPP, who looks very confused. Evenflow gets back up and is helped out by Zack, while BPP grabs his tag team partner Alfdogg. What does this mean for the Great Angle Bash? Is there dissenion in the ranks of the Deadly Alliance, or with the In-Crowd! Credits: Executive Producer - Big Poppa Popick Head Writer - Sandman9000 Contributing Writers Tony "The Body" Risk Alfdogg People who suck: CobainWasMurdered Tune in next week...where SuperStar finally gets a title shot, but against whom? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
