Guest alfdogg Report post Posted September 5, 2002 ::Show's opening airs.:: Coach: "From Hollywood! It's The Body Shop! Tonights guests. OAOAST World Champion, Anglesault & a special interview with the Dungeon of Doom. And now, the man who tells it like it is....Tony "The Body"! (Crowd cheers) Tony "The Body": "Welcome to The Body Shop! I'm your handsome & sexy host, Tony "The Body". (Crowd cheers) Less than 24 hours from now, AngleSlam will hit the air. Be sure to check that event out live! We have a jam packed show tonight. A new feature wil debut called '1 on 1'. MarioLogan & the Dungeon of Doom are tonights guest on that one. Tonight on "The Body Slam". It's OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Anglesault! (Crowd cheers) We'll be back after this break with 1 on 1 with the Dungeon of Doom. (Crowd cheers) ::Commerical for AngleSlam:: "May 18th, live and only on PPV. TheSmartMarks.com present, AngleSlam! An event so big, it has two main events! What will happen during WarGames & The Stairway to Heaven match? Find out LIVE! It's AngleSlam!" ::The crowd cheers as we return from break. Tony is sitting on the edge of his desk in the ring:: Tony "The Body": "This week a new feature will be introduced. We call it it "1 on 1'. Where we do an interview from somewhere away from the studio. Our first guests happen to be the weirdest group of misfits in the OAOAST today. I'm talking about the Dungeon of Doom. They made some news by debuting a new member named "El Nino". Although it is former SNL star Chris Farley. This strange interview took Friday inside the Dungeon." Tony "The Body": " Welcome to 1 on 1 with the Dungeon of Doom. As you can see ::Camera shows the DoD:: we are inside the Dungeon. Mario, how did you get all these men under your control?" MarioLogan: "I have been in the OAOAST since the begining. My first act was torturing people with sharp tools, and maybe burning them. They formed Aliances to take me down, so over time I brought in Monsters to help me out, but the group was still disorganized. Then one day, I was summoned to a cave by the Master (Curtis Iaukea). When I arrived, I met Kevin Sullivan and him, they gave me their old Dungeon of Doom, and helped me reorganize the group. ::Farley jumps up and yells, "I'am not Chris Farley, I am 'El Nino.'" He proceeds to pose like Hulk Hogan.:: Tony "The Body": "How did you get Chris Farley to join the Dungeon of Doom?" ::"I'm El Nino." says Chris Farley:: (Tony looks confused) Tony "The Body": "Okay. Mario, since you are now one of the leaders in the Dungeon. What are your plans for AngleSlam, May 18th?" MarioLogan: "Jason plans to take Vengance for Vader attacking him on HeldDown. The Tentas will win the Wargames match. Pennywise will slap the fat off of Rikishi, and our Mystery man will anilate the Superstar." ::Mystery Man yells "YES! NO! YES! NO! YES! NO!":: Tony "The Body": "Once again, how did you find Chris Farley?" El Nino: "It's El Nino, you fool!" Tony "The Body": "Excuse, I mean El Nino." MarioLogan: "I was looking for new members, and I saw this fat guy who can go through tables without hurting himself, so I decided to give him a try. He impressed me when I took him to an empty arena, and he Frog Splashed the announce table from the top rope." Tony "The Body": "Rumors are running that the OAOAST will pay more attention to the Tag Team titles. Any chance members of the Dungeon of Doom would want a shot at the titles?" MarioLogan: "OF course, we'll want shots at the titles. But I'm not going to give away my teams." Tony "The Body": The OAOAST has been getting tons of complaints from parents about the Dungeon of Doom's use of killing/eating, and doing other crazy stuff to other OAOAST wrestlers. How do you response?" ::The Shark, Freddy, and Pennywise push Mario down and the Shark shouts:: The Shark: "If anyone has a complaint about our eating habits, then come and say it to our Faces." ::All three mug for the camera, they just look plain disgusting:: Tony "The Body": "Do any other members of the Dungeon of Doom have anything to say?" MarioLogan: "Our other Mystery Man was also a Saturday Night Live actor, but his appearance has changed over the years." ::The Masked Man interupts:: "YES! NO! YES! NO! YES! NO!" Tony "The Body": "Who is it? C'mon, let the cat out of the bag. Who's the mystery man?" MarioLogan: "A former member of the Dungeon of Doom, he will be the one to face Superstar on Heat." Tony "The Body": "Alright, Mario. To end this segment, any last words before AngleSlam?" MarioLogan: "aWo, In-Crowd, whatcha gonna when the Dungeon of Doom murders you! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" Tony "The Body": "We'll return after these messages." ::Commerical break:: Tony "The Body": "Welcome back! It's that time of the show where I take some questions from the fans. First question is from Joey." ::Camera pans to Joey in the audience:: Joey: "What's up? "Body", my question is about the match at AngleSlam between CobainWasMurdered & Alfdogg. Who do you think will win?" Tony "The Body": "Nobody is giving Alfdogg a chance in hell. I think Cobain will go into the match cocky, and that will allow Alfdogg to make a huge upset and win the IC Title. Don't forget the winner of that match will face whoever is the HArdKore Champion at The Great Angle Bash to unify the IC & Hardcore title into the brand new TV Title." Next question is from Stacy." ::Crowd cheers as the camera pans to Stacy:: Stacy: "Great show, Tony! I wanted to know what your thoughts are on the OAOAST?" Tony "The Body": "I feel the OAOAST is the wrestling of the future! That's the reason "The Body" came here. The OAOAST is happening, and I'm happy to be apart of it. (Crowd cheers) Thanks for your questions. Will be back with OAOAST World Champion, Anglesault!" ::Commerical break:: ::The crowd is cheering as we return from the break:: Tony "The Body": "Welcome back to 'The Body Shop'. This weeks guest on 'The Body Slam' happens to be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. He will be facing TheSoleSurvivor in less than 24 hours at AngleSlam in a "Stairway to Heaven" match. Please welcome, the World Champion...Anglesault!" (Crowd cheers) ::The screen goes Red, White and Blue as Da Right Angle hits and Pyro goes off all over the place and OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Anglesault comes to the ring with his belt over his shoulder. Anglesault walks over to Tony and shakes his hand.:: Anglesault: "Now that's an entrance! And if I have my way, that's the last entrance TSS will see for a long time, if you catch my drift, Tony." Tony "The Body": "I belive I do. This match at AngleSlam should probably be called 'Stairway to Hell'. No way is the guy taking the fall going to heaven. This match is sooooooo dangerous, the OAOAST was forced to change the rating of the PPV from TV-14 to rated M for mature. How do you prepare for such a match? Also, unless my staff screwed up, aren't you also going to be wrestling in WarGames? Why both?" Anglesault: (Laughs) "The whole point is not to fall. Because that fall would be Hell on earth. But if you can make it to the top and survive the match, and become the OAOAST Champion, you're in heaven. as for the ratings change, I applaud that. There is going to be some sick sh*t going on in that match that not may not be suitable for younger viewers. And Tony, the scariest part about this match is that there is no way to train. You just have to pray that fate is on your side because no doubt about it, you ARE getting hurt. It's up to me to make sure that TSS gets more hurt than I do. It's actually simple in a barbaric way. As for the War Games match, well, I am aWo 4 EVA, Brotha, so I feel it's my duty to help my brethren in that match. Besides, TSS has to fight THREE matches that night, and I just wanted to "even" the odds a little. (smirk) And I would like to have some say in who I plan on facing next month. Is it smart? Probably not, but I felt I needed to do it." Tony "The Body": "Speaking of the aWo...there seems to be some problems with Caboose & Angle-Plex. I'm sure you saw the show last week. Caboose was my guest on 'The Body Slam'. Angle-Plex dressed in drag, and appeared as a member of our live studio audience. He then attacked Caboose with a steel chair. Both men brawled all over the place until "the bodyguards" pulled them apart. That adds fuel to the fire, as they will wrestle inside Hell In A Cell at AngleSlam. What's going on?" Anglesault: "To tell you the truth, Tony, I have NO CLUE as to what the hell happened between those two. They seemed like good friends up until AP got a little over anxious and considered leaving the aWo to get a title shot. I'd like to give some hokey speech saying that the aWo is a tight unit, but we obviously aren't. I just hope that this match at AngleSlam can settle their differences so we can go back to being aWo 4 EVA!" Tony "The Body": "Speaking of the aWo & title shots. Whoever gets somebody to say "I QUIT!" becomes the #1 contender for the World Title. What happens if the aWo wins, and a member wants a shot at the title?" Anglesault: "We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it." (Crowd boos) Tony "The Body": "Seems like the crowd wanted a better answer Champ. For those who are just tuning in...this is 'The Body Shop' and right now on our 'Body Slam' segment, we're with the World Champion Anglesault. Who defends his World Title later today against TheSoleSurvivor in a 'Stairway to Heaven' match at AngleSlam. At this time, we're going to take some questions from the audience and via e-mail. First question is from Dolly." Dolly: (Looks like she's about to cry) "Oh, my God! ::tear rolls down her eye:: Anglesault, I'm such a huge fan. I have all your posters, dolls & t-shirts. You also remind of Kurt Angle. I hope you kick TSS's ass at AngleSlam. Who do you think will win WarGames?" Anglesault: "Why thank you for the complement, Miss Dolly. Now to your question. I think it's pretty obvious that the aWo is going to kick ass and take names in tha cage. And since I'm on one of those aWo teams, there is no doubt in my mind that the winning team will be CobainWasMurdered, BigMcHugeLarge, Sandman9000 and myself." Tony "The Body": "A couple more questions for Anglesault. Next question is via e-mail. We have a lot of fans in Stamford. (Crowd laughs) Hunter in Stamford says ::Camera zooms in on the e-mail:: You're, uh, a , uh, rip-off, uh! You try to, uh, act like Kurt, uh, Angle. He's , uh, a nobody! Long, live the, uh, Game, uh! Tony "The Body": "Uh, (Crowd laughs) this guy says "uh" a lot. First off, Kurt Angle doesn't work here. You don't have to answer this question, if you don't want to Champ?" Anglesault: (Trying to hold in laughter) "I have no idea who that could possibly be. Sounds like someone I may have beaten on the first OAOAST PPV, though." (Anglesault winks and the crowd laughs again) Tony "The Body": "Anglesault, last week after HeldDOWN! I managed to catch up with the #1 contender TheSoleSurvivor. Lets listen to these pre-recorded commments." ::Tony & AS look at the video wall:: Tony "The Body": "We're backstage at HeldDOWN! with the #1 contender, TheSoleSurvivor. TSS, any comments on your match this Saturday against Anglesault for the World Title?" TSS: "You know what Tony, I do have a few comments. So shut up, and listen. Tony, many say I got into this business by a giant fluke. Many said I could never make it. That I didn't have the drive. But you know what Tony? I won the Royal Rumble this year. I out-lasted 29 other men to become the #1 contender for the most prestigeous Internet wrestling forum title in the world. Now as far as AngleSalt goes, he has been champion for quite a while now. But you know why Tony? He hasn't faced me yet. And after I beat AngleSault within an inch of his meaningless, pathetic life, and then toss his corspe 50 feet off of that cell, and claim the title that is rightfully mine, people will be unable to disrespect me. People will have to call me the best in the internet wrestling forum business. AngleSault, have a good last few days of your life.....I guarantee that they will be your last." :TSS storms off, nearly knocking Tony over: ::We cut back to Tony & AS in the studio.:: Tony "The Body": "What do you think of those comments from TSS?" Anglesault:You know, Tony, it's funny. TSS wants to run his mouth about how I've never beat him. He conveniently forgot to mention that tag match on INTENSE Zone a couple of weeks ago. Or the NUMEROUS times I have whipped his ass all over the Angle Arena, the highway, the hospital, the dungeon of doom and various other places. I think it's clear to everyone here that Anglesault most certainly DOES have TSS' number, and come the Stairway to Heaven match, I'll prove it." Tony "The Body": "To close off this segment, Champ. Any final thoughts as we head into AngleSlam?" Anglesault: Well, I just want to say that I hope that TSS brings a parachute out to the ring tonight, because I plan on making Stairway to Heaven his own Private Highway to Hell! (Crowd cheers) Tony "The Body": "Good luck Saturday at AngleSlam. Ladies & Gentleman, the OAOAST World Champion Anglesault. (Crowd cheers) We're back after this." ::Commerical break:: Tony "The Body": "Welcome back! I'm in the AngleSlam Control Center. Let's run down the card. ANGLESLAM LIVE! Saturday, May 18th! OAOAST World Title Stairway to Heaven Match Anglesault [Champion] vs The Sole Survivor War Games; Person who gets the "I Quit" is #1 Contender at The Great Angle Bash aWo Red - Anglesault, CWM, BigMcLargeHuge & Sandman aWo Blue- Angle-plex, Caboose, Some Guy & Alfdogg Faces of Fear - Earthquake, Avalanche, The Shark, Golga Deadly Alliance & In-Crowd - BBP, TSS, Zack Malibu, Evenflow DDT OAOAST IC Title CobainWasMurdered [Champion] vs. Alfdogg Hell In A Cell Angle-plex vs Caboose Pennywise vs Rikishi Tourny for Hardcore Title Winner of Sandman vs Evenflow DDT vs Winner of MarioLogan vs Treble Charged Winner of the Hardcore tournament will face The Sole Surivor for the Hardcore Title Brock Lesnar vs Jason Mystery Man with Kevin Sullivan vs The Superstar *Card subject to change* Tony "The Body": "All that and more. It's less than 24 hours away. AngleSlam! LIVE! And only on Pay-Per-View! So long everybody." 2002 The Body Shop™ All rights reserved. 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