Name your baby bin Laden?

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Couple try to name baby bin Laden

 

Interesting. I'm personally thinking what in the world the parents are thinking since their child's name alone will most likely cause emotional anguish for him of her outside of the Arab community. I'm wondering what the impression of Osama bin Laden is in Turkey is if this couple, who happens to be from Turkey, is so insistent on naming their child after him.

 

Well, let the heated debate begin.

 

[Guest J*ingus]

I don't think they should do it, but I certainly don't think the government should have the right to stop them. They legislate names is Germany?!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

The Turkish population in Germany is high enough to warrant this probably. Germany does have the largest Turkish population in the world(other than the obvious home country). I can see why they wouldn't let them name the kid that. After all, I'm fairly sure the name of Hitler has been destroyed in all records also.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest J*ingus]

Go back and read the rest. They do an awful lot of micro-managing on what they can name kids in that country.

 

But naming a baby Osama Bin Laden... yeah, I can easily imagine that kid getting the shit beat out of him for the rest of his (probably short) life.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I think it's in terrible taste and a really bad idea for the sake of the kid, but it shouldn't be something the authorities have any say in.

[Guest DeputyHawk]

I disagree, actually. I think the decision should go before a court. The parents' motivations and mental health should be looked at in depth before they are given the right to completely shape the life of another person by naming him after such a controversial figure. Sure, the kid can always change his name later on in life, but only if he makes it that far. Haul their asses in front of a judge, stat.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Ah yes, legislate even more psychiatric evaluations... what a brilliant idea.

It's funny, I was just reading the other day that the APA now wants to psychopathologise relationships between people. Are you a member, by any chance?

[Guest DeputyHawk]

sure. cause we need beer money.

[Guest bob_barron]

It just sounds like a restriction of freedom so I don't like it

[Guest DeputyHawk]

in related news, an american couple are auctioning the rights to name their new baby girl. Misty Williams & Willy Rangel (there's your clue right there), real estate agents, are in talks with "a large computer company" who opened the bidding at $100,000. they are doing it due to the recent slump in the housing market, Misty claiming "we've prayed about it, and we've received God's blessing. It's not a publicity stunt. If a company named Ace Plumbing wins the auction, we'll call her Ace."

 

interested bidders can contact misty & willy at [email protected]

 

i'm torn between respect for the initiative shown, and revulsion over the depths to which consumer culture will sink. the child could end up with a pretty cool name out of it. Al-Queda should make an offer so we can have another bin laden. it's the handle that just won't quit.

[Guest bob_barron]

I think that story happened a long time ago and no one bid

[Guest DeputyHawk]

don't think so, dude, the baby was born on saturday at 6lb 1oz and they are already on $100,000. maybe others have gone this route before. meh.

[Guest bob_barron]

Yea- another couple had tried that before. No takers

[Guest DeputyHawk]

if at first you don't succeed .......... by 2020 we'll all be doing it, like sponsoring a penguin at the zoo. businesses will have pictures of their sponsored children lining the walls of their headquarters with garunteed employment when they graduate. "do you take this man, budweiser 90210, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" oh hell yeah.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

don't think so, dude, the baby was born on saturday at 6lb 1oz and they are already on $100,000. maybe others have gone this route before. meh.

How great would it be if they were sponsored by Trojan brand condoms?

[Guest Cancer Marney]

You aren't thinking creatively enough.

 

I ask you now to imagine a boy called "Tampax."

[Guest J*ingus]

Or a girl called Johnson, for that matter.

[Guest DrTom]

It has indeed happened before, DH, and the "naming rights" to the baby were auctioned off on Ebay. AFAIK, there were no bidders, and I think the auction disappeared before it was supposed to be finished. Here's what I said about it in an article touching on it...

 

Some people just shouldn't breed. It might sound mean, but there are some folks who are just too terminally stupid to be considered productive members of the gene pool. New York's Jason Black and Frances Schroeder are just such a couple. They're expecting a baby (unfortunately their third), and they've gone about selecting a name in . . . a rather unusual way.

 

They've put it up for auction.

 

The name, that is, not the baby. You can sell a lot on Ebay, but I imagine infants are beyond the pale. And indeed, they are using Ebay and Yahoo to auction off the name of their unborn infant. They are looking for some corporation to spend $500,000 or more to name their child. As of yesterday, there were no bids. Apparently, the tendency of American businesses to do stupid things for publicity and exposure goes only so far.

 

The reason for all of this is that the happy couple has outgrown their modest two-bedroom apartment. Here's a quote from Black: "The exposure that it could bring to a business is potentially huge, and we think it would be well worth the investment on their part." Hell no it wouldn't. Besides, Mr Black, if you want to improve your lot in life, get a better job. Or take a second job. It's your family, you cretin; YOU provide for them. Don't look for some gullible CEO to fill your wallet full of cash because he wants his company's name in the papers.

 

Can you imagine if a company actually did place a bid and name the child? Yeah, I bet little Microsoft would be popular in school. "Here are pictures of my kids: there's Bobby, Sally, and Budwesier." Of course, Harley-Davidson could win the auction and make the child's name somewhat normal, but dwelling on potential positives isn't my job as a cynic, so we'll ignore that one.

 

My advice to Black and Schroeder is to stay out of the gene pool in the future. They've probably tainted it enough already, and we certainly don't need any more contributions to stupidity and lack of common sense in America.

 

I see those same dubious traits are alive and well in Germany, too.

[Guest Hogan Made Wrestling]

There's precedent for this type of decision in other countries as well. I remember a guy in Brazil tried to name his kids "comma" and "apostrophe" and it was denied. I'm not sure if it's happened in NATO-block countries though.

[Guest Some Guy]

This ia just another case of a Socialist country infringing on people's rights and interfering in their lives. Naming a kid bin Laden is stupid and on par with naming a kid Adolph Hitler but if Germany were truly a country that believes in their Constitution (which provides for Freedom of Speech) then they would not stop this.

 

BTW Germany had banned people from saying that the Holocaust never happned, after WWII. While it's incredibly stupid to think or say that, being an ignorant asshole shouldn't necessarily be a crime. They have since resinded that law.

 

BTW 2, is this the same Turkish couple who were caught in Germany today with bombs and a picture of bin Laden?

[Guest bob_barron]

In the US would someone be allowed to name their kid something like 'Fuck'?

[Guest Some Guy]

I assume so, but I doubt anyone ever has. Besides people name their kids "Dick" everyday so I don't see why "Fuck" wouldn't be allowed. Afterall you can't have the latter without the former.

[Guest The Metal Maniac]

It's been said many times before, but some people just don't deserve the freedom to do everything.

 

I really think that giving a child such an outlandish name could have a very negative effect on the child's life. Therefore, it's only fair to stop the parents from making any sort of stupid mistakes and giving their kids names which could be considered inappropriate.

 

And for the record - I seem to recall that in some state, there are laws regulating naming childs: It has to fit on the birth certificate, because some woman made up a name that was so fucking long she had to use over a dozen of the fucking things.

 

I just really don't think that people should be allowed to make such stupid decisions in such important cases.

[Guest treble charged]

I know in Quebec (make your stereotypical French joke here), some family tried to name their baby 'Ivory', and were shot down by the provincial government. I don't think they had a very good reason, either.

[Guest Olympic Slam]

This ia just another case of a Socialist country infringing on people's rights and interfering in their lives.  Naming a kid bin Laden is stupid and on par with naming a kid Adolph Hitler but if Germany were truly a country that believes in their Constitution (which provides for Freedom of Speech) then they would not stop this.

 

BTW Germany had banned people from saying that the Holocaust never happned, after WWII.  While it's incredibly stupid to think or say that, being an ignorant asshole shouldn't necessarily be a crime.  They have since resinded that law.

 

BTW 2, is this the same Turkish couple who were caught in Germany today with bombs and a picture of bin Laden?

You see in the grand future, when the world becomes one and everything is socialized, names wont be the only thing regulated by the gov't, in fact children's names will be chosen by the grand "Ministry of Monikers." Children will recieve a name they deem fit for each particular child. Gone will be names like George, Winston, Thomas, Abe and John that happen to remind people of historical whites of the now controversial (and thankfully) conquered western civilizataions.

 

Names wont be the only thing decided by the world's central government. Because of the previous insensitive and vain system of chosing mates, Earth government will take the active role of matching and suppyling all Earth citizens with partners they deem fit and diverse. No longer will anyone ever feel ashamed of their looks or monetary situation because each Earth citizen will have an equal chance of finding an attractive mate. Also because everyone on Earth makes the same amount regardless of what job they have, money situations will NEVER be an issue! In the event that there is an odd mix of undiverse couples, homosexual couples will be created. Those that don't wish to participate in such a program will be sent indefinitely to the "Ministry of Sensitivity" for further "education on the wonders of such a relationship. Citizens will still receive payment for their government job while in the "Ministry of Sensitivity."