Guest AP Newswire Report post Posted September 6, 2002 MANASSAS, VIRGINIA: SEPTEMBER 5TH -- Local citizens of this historic town woke up Thursday morning to see an area just outside of the city limit replaced with a hole. The hole measures fifteen feet across, and seven feet deep. The curiosity is that the land is technically owned by the State of Virginia, and no one was given a digging permit in the days since the June 29th revolution. This further disconcerts local people who have seen "a man who was seen walking into town picking dirt out of his hair and continually spitting it out." This man also reportedly had blood-stained clothing as well as a very beaten up face and many more like him have been sighted around town. This wouldn't be cause for concern if the rumor wasn't that the former State Cabinet was bured somewhere near here after their executions in a mass grave. The only living member of the Cabinet left, former Chancellor to the Maximum Proconsulate Goodhelmet, had no comment other than this released statement: "I have nothing to do with any of this. People are just suspicious because I happened to be in the northern Virginia area this week on vacation. Visiting Civil War sites. With a shovel. And some of the Cuban technology I was going to bring to the Pentagon." Since the implementation of the new Justice system, no one has done anything to the suspected exhumed people, since they have yet to do anything wrong and are technically starting with clean slates, having been dead already. The Associated Press will bring more on this story as it develops. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Psycho Diablo Report post Posted September 6, 2002 (For the record, yours truly, the Chief of Intelligence..never died.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 6, 2002 For the sake of this, everyone died. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Psycho Diablo Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Wait. Does that mean I'm no-selling death right now? O_o *poses, spits water, and waits to see what happens* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 6, 2002 You'll have to wait and see. News can only break as it happens. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest J*ingus Report post Posted September 6, 2002 ::no-sells death as well:: I was down in the embassy in Antarctica with Nicole Kidman, pretending that we were king and queen of the universe, and so lived through it, remember? Of course, Nicole dropped me like the baddest of bad habits as soon as I wasn't rich and powerful anymore, and I ended up moving back in with my parents, but oh well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Incandenza Report post Posted September 6, 2002 I'm still alive, dammit! But recently uncovered details of my strange personal life has me keeping a low profile. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DJ Jeff Report post Posted September 6, 2002 I'm still alive. YAY! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest treble charged Report post Posted September 6, 2002 I was a rather insignificant member of the State, so, more than likely, I was killed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Goddammit, everyone was killed. EVERYONE WAS HUNTED DOWN. And I never sanctioned that Antarctic silliness anyway. Is there any reason DJ Jeff posted here? Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted September 6, 2002 is it safe to come out now? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Come out? Eh? Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted September 6, 2002 From hiding. I'm not planning on coming out of the closet...yet... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Well, you might want to wait until the people out in public regain their bearings and start doing things to come out of hiding. As far as the populace knows, they killed everyone within three weeks of the revolution. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest dreamer420 Report post Posted September 6, 2002 That's cool. I still got a nice bag, a bong, a pack of zig zags, and a lighter to get me through this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metal Ed 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2002 DAMN! I told my ma I'd seen some of them zombies. She said I was knocked goofy from when that toaster fell on my head yesterday, but I knew I saw em. I'm grabbing the Rock Box and gettin in the basement, dude. This is some freaky shit. I didn't even get laid last night since that big girl weren't to the Stop and Go like I thought she'd be. I just gots to calm down, I guess. Metal Ed can't be killed. DAMN! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Seeing as I got fired from the state, I am still alive, still in africa, in a quasi-jimmy carter like role Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DJ Jeff Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Is there any reason DJ Jeff posted here? I just felt like posting in here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bob_barron Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Metal Ed rules!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Metal Ed will be VERY important to the State... Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Will Scarlet Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Wow. Does this mean a possible return of the State? Awesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted September 6, 2002 wait, what? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Goddammit, everyone was killed. EVERYONE WAS HUNTED DOWN. And I never sanctioned that Antarctic silliness anyway. I thought nobody cared about me enough to kill me... well except Sandman of course. But then I'm only dead in the No Holds Barred folder, but I've rotted to the bone by now, so... ummm... wait, what? I mean yes, populace, I'm DEAD, Sandman killed me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest justsoyouknow Report post Posted September 6, 2002 WHOOHOO, return of The State! All thanks for the return shall be accepted............by ME.....IT WAS MY IDEA! MINE! THE STATE REUNION TOUR WAS MY IDEA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Anyway.....I'm glad we're back. I missed us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted September 6, 2002 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest -Cutthroat- Report post Posted September 7, 2002 Soooooooooooooooooo....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest justsoyouknow Report post Posted September 7, 2002 I'm stupid? The most hated poster on the board thinks (heavy emphasis here) I'M stupid? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 7, 2002 Okay, get the crap outta here. This is for the State and otherwise intelligent posters, not you. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ravenbomb Report post Posted September 7, 2002 oh. I should get out then, shouldn't I? Isn't the State that tv show? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 7, 2002 I was referring to Cockinthethroat. You can stay, we may be able to use you somehow. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
