The Ross Report

[Guest Sandman9000]

You know the drill by now. I desperately want attention, and make bad jokes to try and get it. Everyone laughs (at me, not with me) and fun is had by all.

 

Greetings from under the black 200X Resistol hat from an Oklahoma Sooner fan who seems to be busier these days than a fruit merchant!

 

Especially since there is no such thing as a fruit merchant anymore.

 

Random thoughts, opinion and some basically useless information ...

 

Please keep reading, anyway.

 

Thought-provoking week of TV with RAW showing some improvement from last week's broadcast but still not receiving the rave reviews all involved would like to see. We seem to still be searching for the correct balance between steak and sizzle, in-ring action/competition and backstage vignettes/talking. The program needs both primary elements to be successful and finding the balance between the two is a challenge. It is certainly easy to tear a show apart after the fact, and we all do it to some degree; however, I assure each and every one of you that every person involved in the process is working as diligently as possible to get back in a groove and put a string of hot shows together. Don't know quite what to expect from Iowa State on Monday night live on the new TNN but I do know that a loud and enthusiastic crowd would be music to our ears.

 

The thoughts that were provoked were ones of anger and disapointment. And nothing sort of Dan Freaking Gable himself being in the ring and wrestling is going to get the Iowa State crowd to its feet. Well, that or free beer.

 

The largely post-produced SmackDown! show was another solid effort in my view, even though some viewers did not like the sizzle aspect of a portion of the show via the Billy and Chuck segment. Obviously, everyone can't always be happy with all the content of any TV show but, by and large, SmackDown! was an overall enjoyable program to watch. Tuesday's SmackDown! taping in Minneapolis will be closely watched by a variety of critics due to the commitment ceremony of Billy and Chuck, and from what I have heard, SmackDown! should be a super show.

 

Wanna know why it was largely post-produced? Because freaking Michael Cole started bawling during the Billy and Chuck segment, screaming about how he wants to be loved too! I mean, they are just ACTING, you fruit!

 

Don't have the exact numbers for SummerSlam, but from what I am told it did well. It would be hard to pick that show apart, even though some tried. From where I sit, it was a helluva wrestling event.

 

I mean, despite the fact that we had two cripples wrestle each other, and put the belt on a person who has been around for less then half a year and everyone knew that we were going to put the belt on him, people still watched! Amazing.

 

Speaking of wrong information, I was told early this week while I was on the road that Internet sites were reporting that World Wrestling Entertainment was in serious negotiations with Scott Steiner, which is absolutely and totally false. Our office has had zero conversations with Scott in quite some time, even though it was reported that "sources backstage at RAW" were talking about it. I assume that some folks could have been speculating about Steiner's future; however, I can assure you that we have had no conversations with him and have no plans to do so at this time. My department handles these negotiations and none have taken place.

 

Well, I did have a chat with Scott, but it ended prematurely when his head exploded. It was a shame. I could have added him to my hoss list in a heartbeat!

 

Regarding Bill Goldberg, we have nothing new to report as Billy and his agents, managers, etc., know of our interest; however, we have no meetings scheduled to discuss his future with WWE at this time. We are continuing with our long-term planning without Bill in our plans simply because we do not know of his exact interest in our company and what he wants from our business in the future. Bill is a very unique talent who I am sure has definite plans in mind for his future, and we will continue to prepare for life without Goldberg as we have to this point.

 

We'll just let Bill squash everyone over in Japan, before he comes and squashes everyone here before we have him job to HHH.

 

Unless plans change, I do not expect to see The Rock back in a WWE ring until after the first of the year due to his movie commitment. Contrary to what has been published, The Rock has no firm deal for his third movie project at this time and I feel comfortable in saying that he will be aggressively back in the creative mix as we prepare for WrestleMania, which is set for March 30, 2003.

 

However, the SECOND that ratings drop into the 2.something range, we'll have the Rock on the TV screen for at least an hour. Either that, or we give HHH 30-40 minutes to talk. Maybe we'll go with the latter; HHH always seems to make the ratings move.

 

I am often asked about Stone Cold Steve Austin and the possibility of him returning to WWE. Bottom line, to borrow a phrase from the Texas Rattlesnake, is that there are no plans for Austin to return to the company at this time and that he seems to be more interested in handling and resolving personal matters in San Antonio than anything else. Once those are addressed, I suppose anything is possible. We learn early on in this business to say "never say never." Your guess is just as good as mine on this one. I have my own personal feelings on this issue and for now they will stay that way. I will say this, however: be very leery of what you might read about this matter, especially if it starts out as "sources say" or "backstage talk was ... "

 

All right, all right. Steve didn't beat Debra up. Steve beat me up, and we had Debra make the calls so that the whole company wouldn't be embarassed.

 

Also read about the alleged "competition" between the RAW and the SmackDown! writing staffs, wrestlers, announcers, etc., as if they were on totally separate agendas with one another and with one wishing that the other to not do well, second-guessing each other, etc. I seriously doubt that this matter has evolved or degenerated, if you will, to this level, but if it is heading that way it should be abruptly ceased or those guilty should be eliminated from the entire process. Personally speaking, I certainly want the program I perform on, RAW, to do well, but I don't think I am so stupid or insecure that I want RAW to do better than SmackDown! at the expense of WWE in general.

 

Remember, the brand with a McMahon involved will always do better then the brand without a McMahon. The second RAW starts to pull away from Smackdown, Linda replaces Bischoff.

 

Yes, there is real competition between the brands and competition is a good thing for all involved; however, we would all have to be egomaniacal morons to want one show to be great and for the other to suck. Last I looked, all of us were being paid by WWE no matter if we performed on RAW or SmackDown! Everyone who works for this company, no matter their role, should have only one goal in mind and that is to consistently and totally entertain our fans and make them happy with everything we do.

 

All we know is this: the brand that Chris Jericho is involved with is the one we want to fail. Always.

 

I really enjoyed attending the opening of the new Danny Davis Arena in Louisville, Ky., Wednesday night. The building has a capacity of about 400 and approximately 1,500 fans were turned away from the inaugural event. WWE Confidential will be producing a feature on the facility and the developmental program in the future. No one I know works harder at helping these young kids than Danny Davis, Jim Cornette and company. These young men and women learn the fundamentals of our business, including basic in-ring skills and interview techniques, etc., but they also learn so much more. Each student is challenged to learn the history of our business, including watching videotapes of some of the business' all-time greats, the sacrifices it takes to get to the promised land, to come to work on time everyday ready to give 100 percent effort and to be wholeheartedly concerned about totally entertaining the audience. If they are fortunate to get to WWE, they will be taught some "sizzle" to go along with the all-important "steak" they are learning in Ohio Valley Wrestling. It was a great night and will air as a two-hour special in Louisville this Saturday night on the WB affiliate there. Check out OVWrestling.com for more info on our developmental area and how to obtain tapes of their weekly TV shows, featuring the future stars of WWE. Great effort by all involved in the ring, and I especially enjoyed the two main events -- Nova vs. John Cena and Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham. Not one talent on the entire event lay on their backside, and that's quite frankly where it all starts. We have some outstanding prospects in Louisville and, with the exception of next week, Sept. 11, we tape each Wednesday night in Louisville. Again, check out their Web site for more information. My thanks to the OVW alumni who attended, including WWE Champion Brock Lesnar, Rico, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Shelton Benjamin, John Cena, and Victoria.

 

Remember this: if OVW can teach Nova to wrestle, then maybe, just maybe, they can teach anyone to wrestle. Exception being Jackie Gayda, but she was a lost cause from the begining. But, hey, have you seen that rack?

 

Injury update:

 

My ass hurts from having it kicked all the time.

 

Undertaker hyperextended his elbow, has been fitted with a brace, is working through the pain and is not expected to miss any bookings. I know I have said this many times before, but this is one very tough human being who continues to pay the price to lead our locker room. The SmackDown! talents are very fortunate to have the benefit of his leadership.

 

He will only be able to no-sell Brock at 80-90% instead of 100%

 

Sean O'Haire re-aggravated his groin pull Wednesday night in Louisville and had an MRI done. The results indicated a tear, which will put him on the shelf for approximately six weeks. Sean will not need surgery and is expected to be just fine with the six weeks rest. Sean has demonstrated excellent progress in recent weeks. He is a very good athlete and is beginning to understand the mental aspect of this complex business.

 

He has two weeks before we Fed-Ex him a pink slip.

 

Mark Henry sprained his ankle in Louisville on Wednesday, but it was a mild sprain and he feels he can work through the discomfort.

 

Never, and I mean never, have I ever seen a man sprain his ankle eating, and I have seen a lot in all my years of wrestling.

 

Chris Nowinski got hit in the mouth a few weeks ago and is having some problems with his jaw.

 

Bradshaw has been told to work on his aim.

 

Rosie is improving from his hip flexor and gets a little better each day.

 

We just have to find his hip first.

 

Rhyno has been cleared to begin very light workouts in the ring at less than half speed. November is still the target month for his return from neck surgery.

 

He should be running head-first into things in no time.

 

Kanyon is continuing with his therapy and light workouts after his shoulder injury and severe infection, and he will see his doctor again on Sept. 10 to get an indication as to when he might be able to resume his career.

 

I have September 29th as the next time Kanyon is injured, and I intend to win this bet.

 

Maven is expected to miss six more weeks while his ankle heals.

 

Unless we want him to, you know, heal it up a little more, and tell him to stay at home for a while. We want him back at 100% now.

 

Kevin Nash continues his therapy in Birmingham, Ala., for his torn quadriceps muscle.

 

Copy and save this sentence, I'll be using it for the next three years.

 

Jazz sees her doctor next week to hopefully be released and to be able to get back in the ring and begin training and conditioning. Surgery to repair her torn ACL was on May 16 and she was expected to be out up to six months.

 

Of course, we may not be pushing the women's division at that point, but we'll get around to it eventually.

 

Eric Angle has been released from doctor's care after biceps surgery and has returned to OVW to resume his in-ring training. Eric is starting from scratch and has a long and challenging journey ahead of him.

 

If we send Eric to the Olympics and he wins the gold, can we give the medal to Kurt instead?

 

All other injured WWE Superstars are progressing very well and on target as previously outlined here over the past few weeks.

 

If I don't give a fuck about them, neither should you.

 

Maven, Nidia, Chris Nowinski, Jackie Gayda and Linda Miles will all be taping episodes of "Blind Date" in Los Angeles in the next couple of weeks.

 

Maven will try to dance and break his ankle again, Nidia will give road head, Chris will be abducted by Bradshaw during dinner, Jackie will mess up ordering a drink, and Linda will be punished for Jackie's mistakes.

 

Speaking of Linda Miles, she may be the most physically gifted female athlete I have ever seen in our business. If she ever picks up the mental side of the game, she could be truly awesome.

 

All she needs is a bust size equal to Jacqueline and she'll be all set.

 

Ric Flair will be in Little Rock, Ark., on Saturday, Sept. 28 to kick off ticket sales for October's No Mercy Pay-Per-View event.

 

Unless HHH decides that he wants to replace Flair again.

 

We may have some good news very soon on the BBQ Sauce front.

 

It can also be used as a soft drink and a lubricant. Trust me, I've tested it on both fronts myself.

 

I had a great weekend last week in my home state of Oklahoma attending the OU-Tulsa football game Friday night at Skelly Stadium in Tulsa. My thanks to the University of Tulsa for the sideline pass, as it was great seeing old friends and WWE fans. Loved meeting many fans in the OU band along with some of the Sooner footballers, too. Tulsa had an awesome team effort the first half before running out of steam against the powerful Sooners, who finally got it going in the second half. This week it is OU versus Alabama in Norman, which I feel will be a helluva ballgame between two of America's great football institutions. Oklahoma is favored by 12, or so I hear, but it will be closer than that from where I sit.

 

Once the season is over, I'm signing the entire offensive line and putting them over Chris Jericho.

 

Take care and have a great weekend, and I will hopefully see you Monday night from Iowa State on RAW!

 

Unless you decide this company sucks as much as I do.

 

J.R. (BOOMER SOONER!)

 

BOOMER SOONER to be replaced with UNEMPLOYEED in two weeks.

 

 

 

Blah, blah, blah. Do your worse.

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

How dare you rip on Kanyon.

 

A pox on you, my friend.

 

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

WWE BLIND DATE~!

 

(marks the FUCK out)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest RazorxEDGE]

No such thing as a fruit merchant? Have you ever been to NYC?

 

I'll take "cripple vs. cripple" over your CZW shit any day.

[Guest alfdogg]

I'm guessing this is either Smarkzone or Shadow.

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

I actually thought the "cripple vs cripple" match was the best match of the night. But I can't SAY that here, can I? *calls lawyer and waits*

[Guest alfdogg]

Defensive, are we?