Smackdown Spoilers

[Guest ISportsFan]

Up to the minute from Capital City Kyle Wolf:

Pre-Smackdown taping

1) Crash Holly & Hurricane Helms beat Jamie Noble and Tajari

2) Albert beat Funaki

3) Bull Buchanan & Michael Shane (?) beat Lenny Lane & Shawn O'Hare

4) Val Venis beat Horace Hogan

5) D-Von beat Shannon Moore.

Smackdown

Brock Lesnar beat Hardcore Holly

Los Guerreros defeated Edge & John Cena

Kurt Angle beat Rey Misterio

(more coming)

 

Da' Meltz

 

Jason

[Guest Cubbie78]

sounds good so far....so this is how they are building Lesnar?...having him kick the flying crap out of midcarders?...well it worked for Taker, I guess.....*shrugs* gooo eddy

[Guest bob_barron]

I cant wait to see Los Guerreros over Cena

[Guest B-X]

.... Lenny Lane? As in WCW Jericho lookalike and one half of the West Hollywood Blonds Lenny Lane?

 

Whoa.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

I thought Ross said in his Ross Report that O'Haire was injured with a groin tear or something. And he's on the RAW roster anyhow (well, HEAT roster to be exact.)

 

I'm kinda doubtful about these spoilers right now...

[Guest ISportsFan]

I'll throw in my two cents here:

 

1) Crash Holly & Hurricane Helms beat Jamie Noble and Tajari

I guess this is our token cruiser Velocity match this week, so hopefully it's good.

 

2) Albert beat Funaki

May I be the first to say, WHY is Albert beating FUNAKI? Albert sucks, and Funaki is over.

 

3) Bull Buchanan & Michael Shane (?) beat Lenny Lane & Shawn O'Hare

Will this air? I hope, but doubtful. Might be cool.

 

4) Val Venis beat Horace Hogan

What is this doing on Velocity? Like the world was waiting for Hogan's nephew to debut on WWE TV...

 

5) D-Von beat Shannon Moore.

Again, why is the not over heavyweight pinning the OVER cruiserweight?

 

Smackdown

Brock Lesnar beat Hardcore Holly

Should be energetic, at least.

 

Los Guerreros defeated Edge & John Cena

Build from last week's Velocity, with Chavo and Cena, plus Eddy/Edge again? Hopefully this was long and had tons of goodness from the Guerreros, who rule the earth right now.

 

Kurt Angle beat Rey Misterio

Put Rey in with the stinking cruisers already. Probably a good match, but it's only hurting him the longer he stays with the heavys.

 

Jason

[Guest ISportsFan]

I thought Ross said in his Ross Report that O'Haire was injured with a groin tear or something. And he's on the RAW roster anyhow (well, HEAT roster to be exact.)

 

I'm kinda doubtful about these spoilers right now...

Actually, you might be right. Most of the time, though, Meltzer is not one to post stuff that might be wrong. So, I'm kind of torn on this, but I'll go ahead as of right now as if they're real and change later if they aren't.

 

Jason

[Guest ISportsFan]

PWTorch.com's Wade Keller and Jason Powell are in attendance at the WWE Smackdown/Velocity tapings in Minneapolis, MN. The event has just concluded.

 

The main angle on this Thursday's episode of WWE Smackdown will be the "commitment ceremony" between Billy (Gunn) and Chuck (Palumbo). The crowd reaction was mixed, but there was no anti-gay chants during the proceedings.

 

Earlier in the show, Rico had talked Stephanie McMahon into being a witness for the ceremony.

 

Three black female singers sang "It's raining Men". An elderly Justice of the Peace officiated the ceremony. The man looked old enough to be Mae Young's father, and his hands shook throughout the segment.

 

The team said a few words before the ceremony. Chuck said that Billy was a great tag team partner who had captured his heart. Billy laughed and said "Damn, that was corny! That's what makes you so special." They played a musical montage of Billy and Chuck on the Titantron called "Our Love Story" featuring Billy and Chuck's most homoerotic clips.

 

The ceremony began. When the Justice said "Speak now or forever hold your peace," the Godfather came out with his hos to a huge reaction. Godfather asked Billy if he still "had pimp in him". He then reminded Chuck that he was once a skirt chaser, then remembered aloud that Chuck always liked the "heftier ladies". "What in the Hizzell is goin' on here?" asked Godfather.

 

Rico told Godfather "Nobody wants to see you and the goodtime girls here." Godfather left, saying "You don't know what you're missing."

 

The Justice led Billy through his vows as the crowd chanted "Just say Ho". Billy hesitated and, with Rico's encouragement, said yes. Chuck went through his vows, but said "Yeah, I guess," in an unconvincing manner. Billy then interrupted, telling Rico "This wasn't supposed to go this far. This was supposed to be a publicity stunt."

 

"We're not gay," said Billy, "nothing against gay people. And if I was gay, I probably wouldn't marry Chuck." Rico got upset and blamed the crowd for "screwing this up."

 

The Justice said it was too late to back out, as the rings and vows had already been exchanged. However, he noted that the ceremony had gone on for a long time, "about three minutes too long." In classic Scooby Doo fashion, the elderly "Justice" unmasked as Eric Bischoff. Stephanie McMahon freaked out as Rico turned, helping the Island Boys attack Billy and Chuck. Stephanie tried to escape, but Bischoff caught her, and Jamal and Rosie then attacked Stephanie and left her laying. Edge, Cena and Rey made the save, then the rest of the Smackdown locker room came out to assist them.

 

Wade and Jason will have a full writeup on the rest of the tapings later on today.

 

Stolen directly from pwtorch.com.

 

Jason

[Guest snowfan]

PWTorch.com's Wade Keller and Jason Powell are in attendance at the WWE Smackdown/Velocity tapings in Minneapolis, MN. The event has just concluded.

 

The main angle on this Thursday's episode of WWE Smackdown will be the "commitment ceremony" between Billy (Gunn) and Chuck (Palumbo). The crowd reaction was mixed, but there was no anti-gay chants during the proceedings.

 

Earlier in the show, Rico had talked Stephanie McMahon into being a witness for the ceremony.

 

Three black female singers sang "It's raining Men". An elderly Justice of the Peace officiated the ceremony. The man looked old enough to be Mae Young's father, and his hands shook throughout the segment.

 

The team said a few words before the ceremony. Chuck said that Billy was a great tag team partner who had captured his heart. Billy laughed and said "Damn, that was corny! That's what makes you so special." They played a musical montage of Billy and Chuck on the Titantron called "Our Love Story" featuring Billy and Chuck's most homoerotic clips.

 

The ceremony began. When the Justice said "Speak now or forever hold your peace," the Godfather came out with his hos to a huge reaction. Godfather asked Billy if he still "had pimp in him". He then reminded Chuck that he was once a skirt chaser, then remembered aloud that Chuck always liked the "heftier ladies". "What in the Hizzell is goin' on here?" asked Godfather.

 

Rico told Godfather "Nobody wants to see you and the goodtime girls here." Godfather left, saying "You don't know what you're missing."

 

The Justice led Billy through his vows as the crowd chanted "Just say Ho". Billy hesitated and, with Rico's encouragement, said yes. Chuck went through his vows, but said "Yeah, I guess," in an unconvincing manner. Billy then interrupted, telling Rico "This wasn't supposed to go this far. This was supposed to be a publicity stunt."

 

"We're not gay," said Billy, "nothing against gay people. And if I was gay, I probably wouldn't marry Chuck." Rico got upset and blamed the crowd for "screwing this up."

 

The Justice said it was too late to back out, as the rings and vows had already been exchanged. However, he noted that the ceremony had gone on for a long time, "about three minutes too long." In classic Scooby Doo fashion, the elderly "Justice" unmasked as Eric Bischoff. Stephanie McMahon freaked out as Rico turned, helping the Island Boys attack Billy and Chuck. Stephanie tried to escape, but Bischoff caught her, and Jamal and Rosie then attacked Stephanie and left her laying. Edge, Cena and Rey made the save, then the rest of the Smackdown locker room came out to assist them.

 

Wade and Jason will have a full writeup on the rest of the tapings later on today.

 

Stolen directly from pwtorch.com.

 

Jason

It is stupid, and yet at the same time moronic....

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

That's some crazy booking there.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

I CALLED A RICO TURN!!!! YES!!!

 

Rico turns, a possible push in the works, Island Boyz lay out Steph, and THE BISCH~! invades?

 

Best. Smackdown. Ever!

[Guest cynicalprofit]

"Three black female singers sang "It's raining Men."

HAHAHAHAHA

 

Billy then interrupted, telling Rico "This wasn't supposed to go this far. This was supposed to be a publicity stunt." "We're not gay," said Billy, "nothing against gay people. And if I was gay, I probably wouldn't marry Chuck." Rico got upset and blamed the crowd for "screwing this up."

 

Worked shoot, some good DID comes of this. Well atleast it all turned out ok, now wait they tried to make steph a face....never mind, they fucked up again.

 

Atleast we might get to see Rico wrestle more.

[Guest bob_barron]

That sounds so awesome!

[Guest Cubbie78]

*doesnt know why, but god, Im laughing my ass off at the ending there* Love the swerve with Bisch....Bisch=god

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Rico's gonna rock the house on RAW!

 

You know, having Rico play the flamboyant bastard that he is, only to have The Island Boyz be his muscle...shit...Eric Bischoff could make three OVW guys into one hell of a stable if Rico has jumped.

[Guest snowfan]

*doesnt know why, but god, Im laughing my ass off at the ending there* Love the swerve with Bisch....Bisch=god

Well....

 

at least Eric will finally go over Big Steph on something...

 

[Guest eiker_ir]

wtf?

 

it sound like fun actually....

[Guest snowfan]

Eiker...

 

it being fun+funny is the only thing keeping me from a tirade....

 

the damage is done already and the sccoby doo ending is funny....

 

stupid and moronic is okay as long as it doesn't kill money...

 

I'll laugh when I watch the segment.

[Guest ISportsFan]

I can just imagine Bischoff making the mask pulling very Scooby Doo-like, complete with overexaggeration by ducking the head and yanking up. It should be hilarious.

 

This has Heyman's fingerprints all over it, and it's awesome. Not the fact that the wedding was even planned, but Bischoff makes it all better.

 

Jason

[Guest bob_barron]

Bischoff: And I would've got away with if you weren't for you meddling kids. (looks at Cena and Edge)

[Guest snowfan]

Bischoff: And I would've got away with if you weren't for you meddling kids. (looks at Cena and Edge)

The Big Show=Scooby....

 

hard to understand and low workrate....

 

Fred and Daphne baby!

[Guest cabbageboy]

I gotta admit, this is VASTLY better than what I thought they'd come up with. I have to see this now.

[Guest bob_barron]

Edge: What do we do??

Cena: I know- I'll use THE GAY SLAP OF DEATH!

[Guest ISportsFan]

Bischoff: And I would've got away with if you weren't for you meddling kids. (looks at Cena and Edge)

That was the hardest I've laughed all day. Thanks, bob barron!

 

Jason

[Guest Zack Malibu]

If Cena came out with a little scarf on, he'd be the perfect Fred for this Scooby Mystery, lol.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Rosie and Jamal committing 2 hate crimes in one week -- cool...

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Bischoff = #2 on my list of GREATEST PEOPLE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.

 

Good lord, that sounds awesome. I was marking out just reading it!!

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest snowfan]

Rosie and Jamal committing 2 hate crimes in one week -- cool...

The blowback from this one is NOT as likely. Has to do with packaging. Everyone KNOWS these are "talent". I promise there are those that though last night was *real*.

[Guest midnight_burn]

That actually doesn't sound too bad. A possible Rico push and Steph getting the 3 minute treatment makes it automatically good.

 

And as usual Bischoff rules all.

[Guest Cubbie78]

alright, this raises a serius question.....Vince bombards the media with this, and thye take interest, commenting on how Vince is sensitevly dealing with issues and lauding him all over the place....Isnt this pretty much a fuck you to them?...I think its freaking hilarious, but Ill bet the media is pissed after this goes down, cause they will look bad...