Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Okay, children. Listen up, because all this shyness stuff is getting on my nerves. Pretty girls really are people, just like anyone else. (Trust me on this one.) You don't have to talk like Cyrano de Bergerac and you don't have to rehearse your lines a thousand times in advance. Treat her like a person instead of a thing to be won. She can make up her own mind and she probably already has. So go up to her and just say this: "Hi, <name>. I like you. Will you go out with me?" Smile. Try not to stammer but don't worry if you do. Really, that's all you need to say. Either she'll say yes or she'll say no. If she says no, nothing else you could possibly have said would have changed her mind. PS. Please remember to replace "<name>" with her actual name. And get it right. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest papacita Report post Posted September 27, 2002 That's a lot easier said than done, Marney. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Everything is a lot easier said than done, and everything worth doing involves risk. You have to take the chance. Look at it this way: try, and you might succeed. Don't even try, and you'll never succeed. That's a guarantee. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Leena Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Marney is completely right. Although I do think some "pretty" girls get a big head and will refuse any guy because they think they're above everyone.. but that's only a few, and they're usually people you don't want to talk to anyway. Papacita, I do know it's difficult for you. Any form of depression makes you feel worthless and that everyone's better than you. Those feelings may never go away. My only advice would be then is to realize it's not the end of the world, and don't give a shit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EricMM Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I still want to know if he wrote that letter. Letters are for people who are F-A-R A-W-A-Y NOT someone you see every day. Writing can definitely help you express your feelings, and a journal (or something like it Mines was made of poems ) is good for releasing tension. Just say something. Whats the worst that could happen? She could say no, I don't see you like that, and you'll say oh well. Maybe mope. But you can still chill with that girl no problem. Figure out what you want, and figure out how you're going to get it. If you want a girlfriend, then that means you must interact, appreciate, and ask out girls! Lots! Especially if they're DRUNK I tell you some of those smileys are hooking up tonight. Why don't you? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Olympic Slam Report post Posted September 27, 2002 There's a famous quote by Wayne Gretzky that's sort of appropriate to this shyness discussion.......... "100% of the shots you don't take, don't go in the net." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Yeah, and I make Mr. Gretzky proud that he made a true statement by proving it daily though my general pussiness. I really wish I wasn't such a wimp. It spoiled my date with Erica up in Washington(absolutely nothing happened), and it's ruined many MANY other opportunities of mine. Even if I know in my mind that I'll succeed, I can't will myself to make any kind of move, ever. And yes, Alina is quite shy, although she's showing signs of opening up. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Let me tell you, I used to be disturbingly shy, and it got me nowhere. It's just as easily said as it is done. Repeat that as a mantra or something, but when you get shot down, it just makes asking someone the next time that much easier. Since, you know, you got rejected, and amazingly, didn't burst into flames or crawl in a hole and die. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Good method, Agent. I'll keep that in mind tomorrow when I go clubbing for the first time in months. I hope I'm not rusty. (says to self: "I won't die, it's their loss; I won't die, it's their loss" over and over again) Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Don't think of it as "their loss." That tends to make you contemptuous of people who don't necessarily deserve it, which leads to bitterness. Just move on. Eric has it right: ask lots of girls. Lots. As soon as one says no, leave her alone and strike up a conversation with someone else. Eventually you'll find one who finds you as attractive as you find her. Especially if you're a good dancer. We like that. In my experience, most girls love to dance, and as long as you don't step on our toes or try to cop a feel you'll do fine. Good luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Olympic Slam Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Good method, Agent. I'll keep that in mind tomorrow when I go clubbing for the first time in months. I hope I'm not rusty. (says to self: "I won't die, it's their loss; I won't die, it's their loss" over and over again) Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Kotzenjunge - "The Raving Liberal" ........I'm allowed to be witty right? Good luck tommorow Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I think of it as their loss because I consider myself interesting enough to at least give a shot. The one way in which I actually have some self-esteem is in my ability to always keep people's interest. I'll probably end up attracting people without having to do anything myself, since the place I'm going is a place where girls pretty much flock to any guy who can dance in the least, which I KNOW I can do. At least that's how it was last time I was there and before that... Raving Liberal? How about Moderate Raver? I'm not liberal, dammit! Raving makes it sound like I'm just screaming indiscriminately. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest J*ingus Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Especially if you're a good dancer. We like that. In my experience, most girls love to dance, and as long as you don't step on our toes or try to cop a feel you'll do fine. ::screams and curses God for his born-in clumsiness:: I'm a really bad dancer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I OWN the dance floor. (crip walks his way into the other room to watch his Smackdown tape from tonight finally) Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I refuse to dance. I'm too big, too clumsy, and way, way, WAY too white to "dance." Wild horses couldn't drag me into a club. I hit on girls at metal shows based on: 1.Them being alone. 2.Tattoo density. 3.Degree of intoxication. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I'm not big on the tattoos. Drunk girls are fun to an extent, that extent being when they start calling me a different name and think I look like someone else. I used to think I was too white, but I went out there and actually tried. I realized I had me some rhythm, then I realized that energy + rhythm = good. I then just copied what other people were doing by using the massive energy I always have at any time. Of course, I also listen to a lot more danceable stuff than you do, so I get a lot of practice. What is in the background of your sig picture? I just noticed it had an odd texture. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted September 27, 2002 <---- White I can slow dance though. I only enjoy clubs/other dancing because you can watch from afar how everyone looks like an idiot. Edit: In my opinion of course. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Man, dancin' just does nothing for me, and tattoos are the ultimate conversation piece with metal chicks. I hate "drunk chicks." they drive me up the fuckin' wall. All they do is yell, and they all wear those tight black stupid pants I hate with midriff shirts. Plus I almost never drink myself, so they don't do anything for me. I meant intoxicated on other mind-expanding substances or weed. "So you've got an angel shooting fire out of her snatch? Fuckin' a. I'm getting this skull with a crowbar jammed in it on my shoulder here..." and you're gold. I have no idea where the background came from in my banner, ask Thunder. It's a bunch of faces screaming, though, so it's all good. Compliments Kerry King, Pinhead, and the Dead Guy on the Right quite well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 YOU HATE ASSPANTS?????? (faints) Those are my favorite!!!! And as I said, dancing does nothing because you probably listen to little or no danceable fare. In my case though... (points to subtitle) Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I'd put em in a big pile and burn 'em if I had enough gas and a place to do it. and no, I listen to NOTHING that anyone can dance to. However, that doesn't mean it's impossible to meet girls at a metal show. I saw Lividity live once, and I helped this girl up who was pitting like mad the whole show and kept getting knocked down, after the set, I saw her on the way out, and with a trickle of blood from her nose, she smiled and said "So, do you like grindcore?" I was putty. She's still the single sexiest girl I've ever met. I got her number, but nothing really became of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zorin Industries 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2002 The only time I have ever been any good at dancing was back in my Goth days, and that never worked with the ladies much. Although, I did do pretty well for some reason when I wasn't dancing. Something to do with me being somewhat cute and them being drunk. Worked for me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Incandenza Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I'm a fairly decent dancer, but, given my general dislike of clubbing, I rarely get to strut my stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I think if you just got a Magnum PI moustache and a car that wasn't nessecarily a Ferrari, but kinda looked like one, you'd be set. Oh, and get an extremely hairy chest. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Incandenza Report post Posted September 27, 2002 I already have the hairy chest, so I've got that covered.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zorin Industries 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2002 For some reason (I think its a severe lack of testosterone) I can't grow a proper mustache, and don't have a hairy chest. I really am not much of a man, but it does work in my favour Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Just refer to the "I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT" thread for ways to become more of a man. (snickers at the result of a search for said thread) Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zorin Industries 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Thats certainly not the problem. Im just very feminine apparantly (this is according to my girlfriend) but it dosen't bother me since I always have been. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 If you've got a girlfriend, I don't think you have a problem. I act incredibly effeminate at times myself, trust me, it's a good thing when all the MANLY MEN around you won't do anything interesting or something that will seperate them from the group. You can do such things with ease, and will be much more remembered and endear yourself more easily with such behavior. Hey, it worked for even me. Except for the girlfriend thing. I need to hook up with someone tonight. I also should go to sleep soon, it's already late morning. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zorin Industries 0 Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Hey, its never been a problem, I LOVE been like this because as you said it sets you apart from the pack and makes you more notable. Now, wheres my eyeliner. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 27, 2002 Er, I'm not that bad. The most effeminate I get is when I dance to my Pop goddesses. Well, the black fingernails could be construed as effeminate I guess. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites