Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 You're all ignoring the fact that whatever his mother's heritage, he was also God's son. That means he could certainly have been white, because we all know that God is an old white guy with a long grey beard. I mean just go to Italy. Sheesh, what a silly discussion.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 If god was female, would that make Mary a lesbian?
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Ah, but this female God would still be all powerful. Maybe that's why Jesus was such a groovy guy, half female, half female.
Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 ... I don't think Augustine ever addressed this point. "HLA" starring the Virgin Mary and the Holy Spirit, now that'd bring in the ratings. I kinda hope it's true, because then it'll really be Heaven for me.
Guest Midnight Express83 Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 If Jesus is from the blood of David: He would look like a modern day Arab. If Jesus is from the blood of Greeks: He would be pailer, except if 5 or 6 generations of his generations lived in the area. Then he would be a mix of Arab tone with Greek features. If Jesus is from Roman blood. Depending on his family moving to the area. He could be white to almost black. But fact: He isn't what is pictured by the 1300s. That is a crock of bullshit. If God is this big tall black guy with a long beard. And was developed in the middle east. Wouldn't HE/SHE be Arab looking as well? I mean, just going by common logic and not just pictures from 2400 years later.
Guest Midnight Express83 Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 HLA would make the bible a better read. A MUCH better read.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 hahahahaha. Divine HLA, now THAT's comedy.
Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Unfortunately, now I can't stop wondering what She'd taste like. Milk and honey? Raindrops? Manna, whatever that was like? So many questions. I probably shouldn't ask the archbishop to conjecture on this at the next Mass.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 If I were a priest, I'd give sermons on this topic for a month or two. Perhaps she would taste like a camel.
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Na. I wouldn't worry about it, Marney. God is the giving sort.
Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Okay, that made me laugh. <g> But it's better to give than to receive and all that. Maybe it could be a mutual thing for me and Her.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Oral sex from god, now THAT would be worth converting for.
Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 With, not "from." Typical self-absorbed egotistical male.
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Anyway, in this situation, God is a lesbian. She's not gonna get anywhere near the guys.
Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 So I guess you testosterone-poisoned lot are all going to hell.
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 (No, God doesn't get near guys. That's where Jesus comes in. *Ducks behind shield*)
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 If it's truly heaven, then she swings both ways. As far as giving and receiving, I don't think my paltry mortal tongue could satisfy an omnipotent force. Damned if I wouldn't try, though.
Guest Spaceman Spiff Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Wow, this thread sure took an abrupt turn...
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Yea, but now people can openly joke about Jesus and God being homosexuals or bisexuals. And, in the end, isn't it worth it, Spiff?
Guest Midnight Express83 Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Yeah, but heaven is supposed to be the best things for a person. So if its HLA and god dyking out with female posters on this board. Then yes. This thread went to the better.
Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 God is NOT a dyke. In Heaven all the angels are femmes and so is God. This is doctrine and it is not open to question.
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 I'm sorry, but Marney, I can't help but see you punching a hole in some guys chest as you say that.
Guest Cancer Marney Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 You can be pretty and thin and wear lipstick, high heels, and frilly dresses and still punch holes in men's chests.
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Yes, punching holes through men's chests is apparently the divine right of any and all females. It would make sense, with God being female.
Guest Midnight Express83 Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 According to Dogma, God is Alantis. So I guess the pretty comment can get thrown out the window.
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Atlantis? Isn't that the sunk'n island of the sea people? (We had to go through 5 Adams...heh heh. That movie ruled.)
Guest Spaceman Spiff Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Alanis on "You Can't Do That on Television" = very cute Alanis grown up = ummm, not so good
Guest Samurai_Goat Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 You can't do that on television? What?
Guest Spaceman Spiff Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 you must be young TV show on Nickelodeon in the early 80's (might have run to the early 90's). Featured Canadian kids, doing comedy skits. Let me see if I can find a site...
Guest danielisthor Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 Alanis, i believe was meant. Dogma did rule.
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