Promo: Hamlet Made Easy!

[Guest Insanityman]

question.

 

 

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September 11th

(Tim Dillon was relieving himself in the bathroom of a fancy restaurant where he took his “prey” from the bar to. Tim, finished with his business, walked up to the mirror. He gagged at his preppy, green plaid button-up shirt and the uncomfortable slacks he wore. Tim grinned and checked his teeth for coconut battered shrimp but all he saw was a dazzling, pearly smile. He then washed his hands and dried them on a towel as he tossed it into the woven basket. Slowly pushing open the door a wave of panic struck him, as he just realized something).

 

What is her name? He asked himself in bewilderment as his eyes went wide open. The Irishman finally concluded it was still unknown and he then wondered if that was more sexy or odd.

 

He then strolled across the bar, barely keeping himself from ordering a drink, enters the elegant non-smoking room. His eyes scanned for their table, as he spots his date. He then strutted over and grabbed the seat as he pulled it out and plopped into it. He grinned at her, and took the chance to look her over. Her hair was curled at the tip of her shoulders; she wore a fine gold chain necklace and a black dress going down to her ankles, a slit up the sides showing a tasteful amount. There was also a V-cut on the top and Dillon soon strategically put his menu… well you know where.

 

Soon a waiter, dressed nicely, handed the two menus and then cleared his throat as if the couple was magically going to know what to order. His date bit her bottom lip as she finally decided, “I’ll take the filet mignon please, with a glass of red wine… the petite salad also hold the tomatoes please, thank you.” The waiter nodded as she passed up her menu and sipped at her water. The waiter’s head turned to the Irish man.

 

“Ditto, except keep the tomatoes, special orders don’t upset us.” He said with a wide grin as the date nodded and the waiter rolled his eyes and walked away giving off a snotty vibe.

 

Tim looked straight into her eyes and knew she was the one… or at the least the one for now. Her green eyes had a shine of intelligence and glee. She grinned, almost seeming embarrassed.

 

“Okay, let me ask you a question… why are you wrestler?” She finally blurted and her face twisted as if she had asked a forbidden question.

 

Tim eyes shut for a second and he realized he wasn’t sure. He could of gone to a shrink and be rambled to death about how it was a way to vent anger… or how it was deep down his way to earn Dillon’s family respect back. “I’m not too sure,” he replied, “matter of fact… it seems I’ve gone over my head.”

 

A giggle. “Heh, yes that Crimson match sounds nasty.” She replied with a grin as her eyes twinkled.

 

“Indescribably screwed… I’m hoping that Mike ends up having sex, Fugue gets too into his Bach, and Thor takes a god-like piss… so no-one shows.” Dillon replies and he muttered something in Gaelic.

 

“Oh God.” She replied as her hand ran through her hair, half amused and half disgusted.

 

The clanking of the fine China plates shatters an awkward silence, as they were plopped down on. Tim waited for the server to leave as he took out his flask and poured a considerable amount of Bushmills into the wine, “Cheers.” He replied with a huge grin.

 

She laughed, “That small flask seems endless!”

 

“You have no clue.” He said jokingly as the two then began into their dinner.

 

“Tim.” She began and Dillon suddenly figured out that he was meant to say her name. He panicked.

 

Dillon paused and suddenly the name came back to him. “Candice.” He said sincerely.

 

She smiled and finished, “I think I like you…”

 

“I think I like the steak.” He replied, yet instantly regretted it. Tim looked up in fear and then replied, “Kidding, I feel for you too…”

 

Her face showed anger, but no slapping or sudden Galatea special was a good sign. “So we’re not rushing in too soon?” She asked.

 

“Lass, the only thing rushing in too soon is me in the JL…” He replied and she chuckled and then got back to dinner.

 

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(Twenty minutes later)

 

After a nearly pant-busting dinner the two of them began their way back. Arm in arm the two walked out as Tim tipped the waiter. The two then headed towards the sidewalk as they eventually reach her house. It was a nice sized place painted white and blue shutters. Her friends from the bar poked their heads out the window as Dillon looks up while Candice flips him off.

 

“That wasn’t nice.” He flirted.

 

“I’m not a nice girl.” Candice replied and Tim grinned even more.

 

She turned around and started to walk away as Tim pleads to get a kiss. She suddenly turns around as Dillon audibly sighs and she walks with a certain stroll as the two connect in a kiss. Her friends give out catcalls as the two part their ways.

What a day. Tim thinks to himself contently and he has a new bounce to his walk.

 

(Somewhere in Afghanistan, Insane Luchador shakes his head in confusion as his vision is blared. Regaining his senses he then looks over to see Rex titled over behind the other rock making it seem like the two were getting it on. “REX!” IL scolds and a few seconds later IL’s face twist into depression, “Yeah I understand… a family ought to be good for you…” He says as he gets up and stumbles off looking back, sniffling.

 

Another friend lost to a girl... He thinks upset watching Rex wave him away.

 

He then notices tiny dots in the distant marching as Andrew Rickmen’s hopes suddenly grow, “PEOPLE!” He screams as he dashes –as fast as Andrew could in his condition- towards the dots).

[Guest kelloggs]

When did this get posted... I completely missed it. IL I think you should come out with liquor like these CZW guys the Irish Drinking Team and pour it into random fans mouths. And so ends my comment