SJL Crimson - September 15, 2002

September 16, 2002

SJL CRIMSON - September 15, 2002

Venue: The former ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!

TRIPLE THREAT

Cutthroat vs. Ejiro Fasaki vs. Jack the Ripper

Summary: We could have the two newest members of the SJL fight each other, but what would be the fun in that? They seem like they want to start off with a challenge! Newcomer Ejiro Fasaki tangles with the... um... impressive (read: winless) Cutthroat, as well as returned veteran Jack the Ripper.

Rules: Triple threat rules apply. First pinfall wins.

NEWBIE MATCH

Johnny "The Barracuda" Dangerous vs. Blank

Summary: The secret agent makes his SJL debut! First up, he'll be taking on the rookie Blank. But is Blank who he claims to be? Could the skateboarding persona be a front? Does he even have a real name? Johnny tries to answer these and other questions this Sunday!

Rules: Standard.

EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH

Matt Myers© vs. Leon Sharpe™

Summary: Leon Sharpe performed impressively in the four way match on Wrath, earning himself a shot at Matt Myers' European Championship. Win the title, buy the shirt! Win the title, buy the shirt! Get the point?

Rules: Standard.

CAGE & GAVEL MATCH

Judge Mental vs. Kamikaze

Summary: Kamikaze isn't quite right in the head. Funny, I don't think the Judge is either. Kamikaze issued the challenge on Wrath, so here it is: Mental vs. mental! Kamikaze, the mental patient, provides the "cage" element, and the Judge provides the "gavel," so team them up and you have an awesome match waiting to happen!

Rules: Only way to win this one is by escaping the cage (over the top - no "magic door" rule in effect). The only weapon in the cage when the match starts is a wooden gavel. No DQ in effect.

TABLES, LADDERS, CHAIRS, AND CANES MATCH

Tim Dillon/Thor vs. Fugue/Mike Van Siclen

Summary: In true ECW fashion we've got a big name tag match with some big time weaponry. The description really speaks for itself.

Rules: No DQ in effect. Tables, ladders, chairs, and Singapore canes can and should be used in any possible way imaginable. Oh yeah... tornado tag rules obviously.

STEEL PIPE MATCH

Flunkmasta Flexxx vs. Jacob Helmsley

Summary: Even if we've already seen something like this before, it wouldn't be an ECW-style SJL card without a steel pipe match from the master pipe psycho, Jacob Helmsley. Jake takes on Flexx in another epic battle.

Rules: No DQ in effect. Lots o' steel pipe action required for the massive enjoyment of our audience.

MAIN EVENT

NO-DISQUALIFICATION TORNADO TAG MATCH

"The Franchise" Mak Francis/"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. C. I. A./Manson

Summary: The World title contendership will continue on Metal. Until then the sWo will have to take on Manson, in addition to the World champion, C. I. A, in a tag team contest where anything and everything could happen!

Rules: No DQ in effect. No tagging in and out; everyone can be in the ring! Whoo!

----

OPENING PROMO

A large flash of elaborate pyrotechnics goes off and SJL Crimson comes into the homes of all its viewers around the world.

“We are coming to you LIVE from the Viking Hall arena in South Philadelphia for Smarks Junior Leagues Crimson.” Yells Axis over the random chants in the background.

“Yes and we have a great show in store with a European Title defense, a STEEL pipe match and a TLCC match all before our main event.”

“And if you don’t know what TLCC is then just imagine… TABLES… LADDERS… CHAIRS… AND CANES in one match!!”

“But enough about that as we are opening the show with a threeway match-up - ”

And of course Axis gets interrupted as the lights dim and “Down with the Sickness” blares over the arena PA system. “I expected to be interrupted but why does it have to be him…”

‘Are you Ready?’

‘Are you Ready?!?’

‘CAUSE THE FRANCHISE IS HERE!!’

And out of the curtain comes the self proclaimed Franchise Mak Francis holding up three fingers and in a little different ring attire, since he never has come out with a valet in a cheerleading outfit. Mak’s new clothes consist of yellow tights and his black boots have some sort of yellow strings hanging around the side. Francis smirks as he walks down the isle and onto the ring apron. After a little tribute to the Triple threat member Chris Candito by strutting across the apron, Francis enters the ring and brings his new “Head Cheerleader” with him.

“What in the bloody hell is Mak doing?”

“I don’t know but it looks great!”

“What did Francis bring that girl out here for?”

By this time the “Head Cheerleader” has bent down and feigned doing what her name suggests. And if you don’t know them I’m not going to tell you. But even after all the playing to the crowd Francis STILL gets booed.

“Well, she’s a cheerleader and she gives head therefore she must be the “Head Cheerleader”! That’s classic stuff Mak. You do the God of Heels proud.”

The crowd responds with just boos as the hate Mak Francis’s routine just as much as they hated Shane Douglas’s. Mak is fuming now because he was at least expecting some pop because it’s his hometown and he pulled out the Triple threat routine.

“ What the hell is this?” yells Francis into his mic. “I just gave you the best damn show you’ve ever seen and you STILL boo your hometown hero.”

Francis paces about the ring while talking. “I did everything right and you boo me. ME! I PUT PHILLY ON THE MAP! Your sports teams haven’t won a Championship since the eighties. Your school system is in total disarray and I know I’m the only thing for you to be proud of!”

And the Viking Hall crowd responds with “YOU SUCK DICK” chant further aggravating the man pacing in the ring. A few fans have their own words for the Franchise but some things just shouldn’t be repeated.

“These fans really laying into Mak.”

“But why? He’s only speaking the truth.”

Mak singles out one of the fans by pointing at him. “Yeah that’s what I told your mom last night, you piece of trash!” Francis is wearing a hole into the canvas with all his pacing about the ring. “Anyways that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about C!... I!... A!... and just how lucky he is.”

And at that his hometown crowd cheers the fun loving face.

“Yeah cheer him all you want but that crowd whore has been dodging me every chance he gets. And do you want to know why. It’s because he knows the he can’t beat me straight up, one on one!” Francis finally spots pacing, leaning against the ropes for effect. “He can climb out of a steel cage… and pin Thor just fine but when it comes to getting a pin fall or submission over me…”

“HE HASN’T DONE EITHER AND I’VE DONE BOTH TO HIM!”

"It's all Myers fault. He's given CIA the chance to dodge me by attacking me with that steel chair... weaking me for that submission hold Harmony. Fugue knows that I would have countered if I didn't have a damn concussion. Everybody knows! And just so that everybodies clear I have NEVER tapped out in my entire career and I don't plan on doing it anytime soon." Francis paces about the ring AGAIN and comes back to the ropes. "Myers, you screwed me out of my chance to break Mike's leg like I should have last time and then move on to getting back my belt. You've been in my business for FAR to long... running into matches and "accidentaly" hitting me with my own World title and now last week. Give me a break, you should have just done what I told you over the phone. You need to know your role. And Matt we ARE going to settle this. I don't know how... I don't know when but there are no more co leaders. There can be only one sWo leader and we'll find out who that is soon!"

Tbe crowd starts up random dueling “Show your tits” and “Suck my dick” chants because this is Philly after all. But Francis tells his “Head Cheerleader” to keep her top on, of course getting more boos. He tries to ignore them except for a few fans in the front row, which he gives the finger.

“But I digress, CIA know this and know it well. You can’t dodge me tonight in that ring. And you can’t stop me from getting MY BELT BACK! And as much as you want to say that this is about something else. That it’s about pride… it isn’t for me. It’s always been about the belt. But if you want this to be about pride then that’s fine for you. I will win back my belt and you will lose your pride…”

Francis stalls a little trying to get the crowd to quiet down. “And who the FUCK are you to tell me otherwise.”

“Some strong words from Francis here tonight.” Comments Axis as King just laughs.

“ “The Franchise” telling it like it is to all that’ll listen and that border hopping reject better be on the look out because the Mak Attack is after him.”

“Yup so you have to be pumped up about tonight’s Main Event, that I booked of course! And the sWo seems to be falling apart at the seams, which means happy days are here again. ”

FADE

September 16, 2002

(Axis) “Welcome to SJL CRIMSON. I’m Axis, and this is Edwin…”

(King) “And the Suicide King.”

(Edwin) “We’re here in the former ECW arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. What a great show we have tonight. We’ll have a No-Disqualification Tornado Tag Match between “The Franchise” Mak Francis tagging with “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. C.I.A. and Manson.”

(Axis) “But first, we’ll have Cutthroat vs. Jack the Ripper vs. Ejiro Fasaki. Ejiro Fasaki will be making his debut match, Cutthroat was beaten badly by Judge Mental, and Jack the Ripper was defeated by Leon Sharpe. All three of these wrestlers need a win tonight.”

(Edwin) “Cutthroat had his arm pulled out of its socket on Wrath.”

The lights in the former ECW arena slowly dim, enough pyro to illuminate the entrance and the ramp erupts, and Marilyn Manson’s “The Fight Song” hits.

(Funyon) “Introducing first, hailing from London, England…”

Funyon has to raise his voice to be heard over the boos.

(Funyon) “…JAAAAAACK THE RIIIIIIIIPPPPER!”

Jack the Ripper makes his way down the ramp throwing weird glances at fans and even cussing at some of the fans that he feels don’t contribute to the society.

(King) “Edwin, are all English people psychopaths?”

(Axis) “Give it a rest.”

Jack hops up onto the apron and looks around the arena with a disgusted look on his face before hopping in under the 3rd rope.

The arena blacks out; blue and white pyro erupts from the sides of the ramp making the arena look steel blue. “Whatever” by Our Lady Peace and Cutthroat starts walking down the ramp while the lights flash to the songs beat.

(Funyon) “And his opponent, hailing from Greenwich, Connecticut, CUUUUUTTTTHROOOOOAT!”

(King) “That’s odd… Cutthroat doesn’t seem to be clapping people’s hands with his left arm.”

(Edwin) “It’s dislocated and in a cast.”

Cutthroat walks down the ramp, with a cast over his left arm. He pauses at the ring, trying to figure out how to get up, and finally decides on the steps. Jack the Ripper immediately attacks him and starts working on his arm. The Ripper throws a punch to the face, grabs Cutthroat by the hair and uses it as leverage to pull Cutthroat’s head into his punches. Jack lets go of Cutthroats hair before dropkicking Cutthroat’s shoulder, above the cast, where the bone dislocated.

(Axis) “What a cruel man. Somehow I knew Jack would be going for that arm.”

(Funyon) “And his opponent, hailing from Sarasota, Florida, EJIRRRRRROOOOOOOOO FASSSSSSAKKKKKI!”

“Sellout” by Biohazard hits and Ejiro starts striding down the ring in a short robe that matches his tights, the fans cheer and shout “E-C-W.” as Ejiro removes his robe and rolls into the ring.

“DING! DING! DING!”

(Axis) “The match is officially underway!”

Jack the Ripper runs at Ejiro, Ejiro hits him with an arm drag, Jack jumps back up and lunges at him, and Ejiro hits another arm drag. Fasaki goes for a knee drop; Jack rolls out of the way just in time.

(Axis) “Jack and Ejiro seem to be pretty evenly matched.”

Ejiro gets right back up to meet several punches from the arm of Cutthroats that he can still use.

(King) “The guys in a cast, what were you thinking Edwin?”

Ejiro purposely falls to his side and does a leg sweep that he calls the STO. Fasaki pulls Cutthroat up slowly, waits a second, and hits a spinning heel kick that lands Cutthroat on his back.

(Axis) “This going to be a match with a lot of twists.”

Jack purposely falls to his knees right behind Ejiro, delivers a low blow, whips Ejiro into the turnbuckle, and follows that up with an elbow and then hits a move he calls the DDTR (a DDT that focuses on being more of a faceslam). Cutthroat hits Jack from behind with a bulldog and then a pin…

1

.

JACK THE RIPPER GETS HIS LEFT SHOULDER UP

(Axis) “Cutthroat’s desperate!”

Cutthroat gets on top of Jack the Ripper and starts throwing punches…

….

(Edwin) “I don’t think he’s stopping!”

(Axis) “He’s got one usable arm, he has to do what he can.”

Ejiro Fasaki makes his way to his, jumps onto the turnbuckle, and jumps off doing a lionsault, Cutthroat gets the worst of it.

The crowd starts to cheer at that and Ejiro starts gaining popularity.

Jack the Ripper rolls to the other side of the ring; Ejiro locks in the Rings of Saturn on Cutthroat… The Ripper slowly makes his way up and runs at Ejiro right as Cutthroat starts to tap, Jack hits him with a clothesline/bulldog from behind.

(Axis) “Ejiro Fasaki almost had the match there.”

Jack the Ripper gets up as fast as he can, does a small back flip landing behind Ejiro, and does a dropkick to the back of Ejiro’s head. Jack takes a moment, and then locks on an ankle lock on Ejiro. First he twists Ejiro’s ankle to one side ad then he twist his ankle to the other side numerous times. Ejiro starts crawling towards the turnbuckle, Jack twists harder, and Cutthroat makes it to his knees.

(Edwin) “What’s Cutthroat doing?”

Cutthroat climbs up onto the top turnbuckle, Ejiro grabs the rope, and Jack lets go and turns around to meet a dropkick from Cutthroat.

(Axis) “Cutthroat’s back in the match.”

None of the three wrestlers move for a moment. Cutthroat and Ejiro make it to their feet first. Ejiro and Cutthroat circle around each other, Cutthroat backs up, Ejiro pulls Cutthroat’s arm behind his back and pulls it up hard.

(Axis) “Ejiro is taking advantage of the fact that Cutthroat only has one arm he can use.”

Ejiro hits an arm drag, and then goes for a pin…

1

.

2

.

JACK THE RIPPER HITS EJIRO WITH A KICK

(Axis) “Ejiro Fasaki almost got the win.”

Jack the Ripper pulls Ejiro to his feet, pulls Ejiro’s head in between his legs hoists him up onto his shoulder, and hits a powerbomb. But before Jack completed the powerbomb, he added another little move to it, spreading Ejiro’s legs out and dropping both his legs onto Ejiro’s pelvis.

(Edwin) “OWCH! That had to hurt.”

(Axis) “That’s his 1888 powerbomb.”

The Ripper follows that up with a pin attempt…

1

.

2

.

EJIRO KICKS OUT!

Jack starts to pull Ejiro up, but before he can, Cutthroat hits from behind knocking him down.

(King) “Cutthroat sure is trying.”

Cutthroat punches Jack on the top of the head a few times before going for a pin…

1

.

JACK GETS HIS SHOULDER UP.

Ejiro gets up; Cutthroat looks back and stands to face him. Ejiro grabs his free arm and does an arm wrench knocking Cutthroat to the ground before applying an armbar hold. The Ripper stomps on Ejiro, breaking the hold before pulling him up and whipping him to the ropes. Ejiro dodges Jack’s clothesline and hits a neck breaker before hitting a knee drop and then an attempt at a pin…

1

.

2

.

JACK GETS HIS SHOULDER UP

Ejiro turns Jack over, pulls his arm between his legs in what looks like a crippler crossface, Ejiro applies a cobra clutch, and then leans back going for a submission.

(Axis) “Cobra Crossface!”

(Edwin) “He sure does go to work on the arms a lot!”

Jack starts yelling in pain, clutching one of his fists and reaching for the out-of-reach rope with the other.

(Edwin) “It looks like he’s going to tap!”

Jack starts to crawl forward, but doesn’t make much progress.

(Edwin) “I don’t think he’s going to make it to that rope!”

(King) “Try no to think.”

Jack gives up hope of grabbing the rope and just lays there, on brink of tapping. Cutthroat his Ejiro from behind, Ejiro doesn’t release the hold at first, but does after Cutthroat hits him again.

(Axis) “Cutthroat saves the match for himself and Jack the Ripper.”

Cutthroat uses his right arm to punch Ejiro a few times before whipping him into the turnbuckle. He follows that up by running at Ejiro and using his cast, delivers a jumping cast-elbow, knocking Ejiro down.

(Axis) “Cutthroat tries to use his cast to his advantage.”

(Edwin) “I’ve never seen that before.”

Cutthroat pulls Ejiro up and starts ramming his cast into his stomach. Cutthroat then follows that up with a one handed monkey flip, land Ejiro Fasaki on his back.

(Axis) “Cutthroat is doing great for someone with one usable arm!”

Cutthroat goes for a pin…

1

.

EJIRO FASAKI GETS HIS SHOULDER UP

(Axis) “No one can keep Ejiro down.”

Cutthroat stands up and helps Ejiro to his feet, Cutthroat goes for a whip, but Ejiro reverses and whips Cutthroat into the rope. Ejiro hits a arm drag, pulls Cutthroat up, hits another arm drag, helps Cutthroat up, and hits another arm drag. Ejiro gets back up after these moves and hits a couple knee drops onto Cutthroat before going for a pin…

1

.

2

.

JACK THE RIPPER KICK EJIRO IN THE FACE, BREAKING UP THE PIN

(Axis) “Ejiro almost had the win!”

The Ripper pulls Ejiro up and whips into the turnbuckle. WHAM! The Ripper then pulls Cutthroat up, drags over to the ropes, and whips him over the ropes, out of the ring.

(Axis) “Jack the Ripper is getting rid of Cutthroat.”

Jack runs over to Ejiro, lunges at him, Ejiro gets his leg up, Jack catches his leg and does spinning heel kick to Ejiro’s face. Jack jumps on the top turnbuckle, jumps off backwards, doing a Shooting Star Press.

(Axis) “Jack the Ripper hits a Shooting Star Press.”

Jack goes for the pin by holding both of Ejiro Fasaki’s legs down while putting both of his legs up on the first rope so that Matthew Kivell doesn’t see.

(Edwin) “ Look at his legs ref!”

1

.

2

.

3

Boos erupt from the former ECW arena as “The Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson hits. Jack the Ripper slides out of the ring and pulls up the apron.

(Edwin) “He won the match. What’s he doing now?”

The Ripper pulls out a crowbar, makes his way over to the steps, but before he can climb up to attack Ejiro, Cutthroat runs at him. The Ripper slams the end of the crowbar into Cutthroat’s stomach before nailing him on the back a few times. WHAM! CRACK! WHAM!

(King) “SPINAL TAP!”

(Axis) “Cutthroat’s spine has got to be busted.”

Jack pulls Cutthroat off of the steps where he lay holding his back in pain. The Ripper starts to tear his cast off with the sharp twist at the end of the crowbar.

(Axis) “He’s sick.”

After removing the cast The Ripper starts going to work on Cutthroat’s arm. After Jack hits Cutthroat’s dislocated arm the 7th time the crowd starts chanting “JACK THE A-HOLE!”

(Axis) “I don’t know if Cutthroat will ever be able to wrestle again.”

Jack stops hitting his arm and whacks at Matthew Kivell, telling him “to stay the hell out of my way.” Jack then applies a STF, pulling Cutthroat’s bloody head back with the crowbar as blood oozes down from his face.

(Axis) “He’s a psychopath.”

The Ripper gets up and starts pounding Cutthroat all over with the crowbar, from the back of his neck to the back of his knee.

(Edwin) “It looks like Jack’s going to work on bones and joints.”

SJL cuts to a commercial break.

September 16, 2002

“..And we are back!” Axis announces with delight as Crimson returns from it’s brief commercial break. “I must say, that was one hell of an opening match we just witnessed, and I’m not too sure if we will be seeing much more of Cutthroat after that!”

“We could only be so lucky.” Edwin chimes in. “But on with the madness in Philly! Next up we have a match between the vicious Blank and newcomer Johnny Dangerous!”

“Johnny Dangerous?” Ask the Suicide King. “What in the hell kind of name is that? Sounds like some thing from lost in space! You know…Danger, Will Robinson Danger!”

“Not exactly, King. He’s a SPY!”

“A SPY?” Gasp the Suicide King! “Why the hell you letting spies in here? That can’t be allowed and I will not stand for it!”

“What’s wrong? You think he might secretly be after you? Besides, you don’t have to stand for it your sitting down.”

“Oh shut up, Edwin! I already hate this new guy! I’m rooting for Blank all the way baby!”

The lights begin to fade as the familiar tune of the theme to “James Bond” begins to flow from the sound system.

“OH MY GAWD!” Shouts Axis as joy begins to flow from him like an avalanche, coming down the mountain. “JAMES BOND IS HERE! He must want a piece of Johnny Dangerous for gimmick infringement!”

“No! No! Axis.” Edwin chimes in. “It’s Johnny Dangerous. I gave him the James Bond theme for his music. It seemed like an appropriate fit for him, being a spy and all.”

“Now that’s just plain stupid!” Shouts King. “You were really hitting the bubble pipe a little too hard this time, Edwin!”

From inside the ring, Funyon makes his usual introductions. “Entering first in this match scheduled for one fall, from Las Vegas, Nevada and weighing in at two hundred and five pounds! Introducing to you….JOOHNNNNNNNNNYYY DANGEROUS!!”

A single spotlight lights up the stage as Johnny Dangerous side steps out to a somewhat baffled crowd, dressed in a jet-black suit, white shirt, and tie. Definitely not the top choice of attire most professionals would wear to the ring but the logical choice for a spy of course. Johnny continues down the ramp flashing his million-dollar smile and giving a few winks to the ladies he strolls by.

“Look at him!” One of them says, clasping her chest as it almost skipped two beats. “He’s so adorable!

Johnny slides into the ring under the bottom rope, heads for the turnbuckle and greets the audience with a casual smile and his arm raised high.

“A SUIT! WHAT IN THE HELL?!” Ask King. “He can’t wrestle in that! He’s dressed for a ball, a wedding, a recital, anything but a match!”

“I think it’s an interesting twist on the tried and true wrestling gear.” Responds Edwin.

“If you ask me, as long as he can move I don’t think it matters what he wears.”

“Well nobody asked you, Axis!” Snaps King. “If I wanted your opinion I would say Axis what do you think? But I didn’t say Axis what do you think, in fact I don’t think I have ever in my life asked what you thought of any given situation!”

“Stick’em up” hits, casually interrupting our beloved commentators as Blank flies out from behind the curtain riding a top his skateboard!

“And there he is!” Shouts an excited King, standing on his chair and clapping vigorously for the Blank-man!

“Will you please sit down!” Ask Edwin while shaking his head in sorrow for the Gambling man. “I swear you get more and more embarrassing as the night wears on.”

“Now entering the ring, he’s a vagabond from Japan and the United States and weighs in at one hundred and ninety pounds. He is BLAAAAAAAAANNNKKK!!!” Funyon concludes his introductions, and quietly slips out from the ring until his services are needed again.

Without skipping a single beat, Blank lands and leads directly into another stunt. He leaps forward with a one handed flip and lands on the sides of the entrance ramp, sliding down the edges with a beautiful array of sparks in tow. Blank ends his little show as he takes one final leap onto the ring apron, kicking his board into one hand right before he steps into the battleground.

Johnny looks on from the safety of the far ropes as Blank hands of his skateboard to Sexton and mounts the nearest turnbuckle. A dazzling display of flashbulbs pop in the foreground the moment Blank throws his arms out to them for his second moment in the spotlight.

“I will say one thing though. If Blank ever fails at wrestling at least he has something to fall back on.”

“Oh you would say that wouldn’t you, Edwin?” Snaps King. “Anyone with an ounce of charisma around here gets held down by the almighty commissioner of sports entertainment, and your next target has already been revealed! Hasn’t it!? Hasn’t it!?”

“Simmer down, King! Anytime you grow fond of anyone around here, you think I’m holding them down the second they loose a match!”

“Alright you two!” Quips Axis. “In case you have forgotten, there is two men standing inside the ring ready to brawl. So would you all terribly mind quieting down so at least one of us can call this match?”

“Well if you would tell Corky over there to hurry the hell up with the damn bell ringing, maybe the match could start! After all we can’t very well do play by play of a stare down.” King responds with a smug look on his face only to have his moment of glory taken by the Mac Daddy himself. “I can call a stare down.”

“Oh shut up, Edwin!” King replies. “Now will somebody please tell that fool to ring the bell!”

As one to always stay on top of things, Sexton Hardcastle motions to Corky, THE RINGMASTA to sound the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

“See now, there is a life after life goes on.” King adds with a $hit eating grin.

The echo of the final ding is still in the air as Blank sprints in towards Johnny with his fingers tingling for a lock up, for which one is quickly engaged! Blank manages to get the upper hand in their first engagement, locking onto Johnny’s arm and wrenching it behind him! “OW!” Johnny yelps as his first bit of pain in the world of wrestling begins to flow through him! He tries to reverse the hold, spinning with his elbow out and aimed for Blanks head, but Blank spots this simple reversal a mile away and firmly plants a quick dropkick into Johnny’s back!

“..And Johnny Dangerous gets a taste of the mat early in this match up!”

“Heh! He definitely got a mouthful on that one, Axis.” Adds the Suicide King.

Johnny scrambles to get to his feet, intent on turning the tides around only to find Blanks elbow smashing into the back of his head! Wham!! Again Johnny tries to get up and once again Blank drops another elbow into his skull, only this time with a little bit of added force which slams Johnny face first into the mat! Wham!!

“He’s trying to permanently implant his skull into the mat!” Shouts Edwin.

Blank immediately drops down over Johnny for a quick cover as Sexton hurdles his body to the mat to count the fall!

One…..

Two…..

“No!” Axis yells out! “Johnny Dangerous kicks out just after two!”

Johnny begins to drag himself to his feet but before he can, Blank angrily rips Johnny from the mat and whips him straight to the ropes! Johnny springs back towards Blank as he lowers himself down, ready to send Johnny flying to England but Johnny slams his foot into Blank’s jaw! CRACK!!

“..And Johnny Dangerous finally comes to life and puts himself into the game!”

“Ut-Oh!, Axis” King says with a bit of surprise detested in his voice. “It looks like we might get an actual match after all.”

Blank stumbles around the ring for a moment, rubbing his chin from the blow and hoping Johnny’s dress shoe won’t leave much of an imprint. Johnny charges for the ropes and rockets off of them just as Blank spins around into a massive clothesline!”

“What a shot! He almost popped his head off with that one!”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Edwin.”

“Oh this coming from the King of Drama Queens?”

“Hey as long as you fit King in there you can call me anything you want, just don’t call me late for dinner!”

Back into the thick of the action, Johnny pulls Blank to his feet using a handful of hair for extra leverage and thrust his fist into Blank’s skull! Johnny winds up for another as Blank is knocked a few steps back from the previous blow, but Blank feels it coming a mile away and quickly throws his arm up to block the blow! Johnny is stunned for a moment and a moment is all Blank needs to jam his elbow into Johnny’s jaw! Crack!

“Dear lord! You could shatter someone’s jaw with a move like that!” A worried Axis remarks.

Johnny stumbles a step or two back giving Blank all the room for a spinning heel kick, which is ducked by Johnny as he leads with a Russian leg sweep on Blanks pivoting leg! Blank spots the move and jumps into the air and swings his other foot straight into Johnny’s face! The wind from Blank’s kick is almost powerful enough to part Johnny’s hair as the Spy barley moves out of the way by dropping straight to the mat utilizing the splits!

“Ack! I just can’t watch that!” Axis grimaces as he grabs his own testicles imagining the pain from that maneuver.

“Now look at that $hit!” Screams King! “You’re turning the SJL into a freak show, Edwin! That man has no balls! How else could he pull that off and not be rolling all over the place in pain!”

Blank swings his leg up again and comes down with an axe kick, hoping to finally nail Johnny in the back of the head! No! Johnny quickly rolls out of harm’s reach just as Blank’s foot rocks the canvas! Johnny rolls onto his back and kicks his leg straight up at Blank’s throat, but the nimble Blank snatches his foot out of mid air! Blank thrust his foot back to the mat, which spring boards Johnny straight to his feet! Both men strike their finest pose while casually walking a safe distance back from each other.

“Neither man can just seem to come up with the connection here!” Says Edwin. “This battle could wage on for hours like this!”

“What the hell are they doing?” Ask King. “This is suppose to be a wrestling match, but these two look like they’re trying out for the next Karate Kid sequel!”

“Well I did hear that Blank had a secret connection with Mr. Miyagi”

“He probably does, Axis but that’s no excuse to carry on like this!”

“Oh come on now, you have to admit this is some intense action here.”

“I don’t have to admit a damn thing!”

“Well you don’t have to…” Edwin interrupts with a smile. “But these fan’s are loving it!”

Sure enough as Johnny and Blank have backed off from each other the crowds become almost deafening! Neither man breaks their Kung fu pose to acknowledge the audience but the noise just fuels the adrenaline. Blank stare’s deep into Johnny’s eye’s waiting for him to telegraph his next move, for which he never will. A simple wink from Johnny and Blank fires off like he was shot straight out of a cannon! Johnny stands motionless for a moment as Blank closes in for the kill, waiting for just the right second to react.

“Blank’s gonna run Johnny Dangerous down!”

Using Blanks momentum from his high-speed fifty-yard dash, Johnny drops down, grabs Blanks midsection, and catapults Blank right over the top of him!

“AND RIGHT ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!”

WHAM!!

Blank slams into the turnbuckle with enough force to topple a mountain, ricocheting right off of it and right into Johnny Dangerous! Johnny latches onto Blank from behind, lifting him off his feet with a Belly to Back Suplex and driving his shoulders straight into the mat! WHAM!!

“Johnny’s holding him in that Suplex position for a pin!” Axis hollers!

One!!!

TWo!!!

THR..”NO!!” The Suicide King leaps from his seat! “Blank managed to throw his shoulder up inches before the count of three!”

“I’m a little surprised he was able to kick out of that one! That was one hell of a blow he took there!" Adds Edwin.

Johnny pulls the woozy Blank to his feet and whips him to the ropes, taking off for the opposite ropes himself! The two head back to each other on a one way collision course as they rocket off the tight ropes. Johnny swings his arm out for a clothesline, but Blank ducks and the pair head for another bounce off the ropes. Once again the two spring back to each other, only this time both of them swing their feet out for a big boot which they both connect with simontaniously(sp?)!!

CRACK!!

“BY GAWD!!” Shouts Edwin! “Both of these men are out cold!”

“I think the Referee might have to pull out the ten count from his big bag of tricks here, because I don’t think either man is getting back up!” Says Axis.

Both men lay sprawled out on the mat, lying motionless as Sexton breaks out the ten-count!

ONE!!!!!!!!

“Well this was a pretty good match from a newcomer and a relative newcomer. What do you think Edwin?”

TWO!!!!!!!

“Well Axis, it was quick but impressive. Too bad it has to end in a double knockout.”

THREE!!!!!!

“So what’s after this match? Maybe it will have a little bit of a more dramatic finish.” Axis ask.

“It’s Matt Meyers and Leon Sharpe with the European title on the line. I think it will be quite the doozie.”

FOUR!!!!!

“Wait!! Blank’s moving!” Interrupts King! “Don’t count Blank out at least! I told you two he was going to pull this one off!

FIVE!!!!!!

Blank rises from his grave, taking a nano second to notice Johnny Dangerous still in dreamland and takes off for the turnbuckle!”

SIX!!!!!!

“Here comes another trip to the turnbuckle! Blank is going to pull of something nasty I can smell it!”

SEVEN!!!!

Blank mounts his perch on the top of the turnbuckle, ready to put the final nail into Johnny’s coffin. Sexton immediately orders Blank off the turnbuckle while still trying to keep track of his count on Johnny Dangerous, but Blank will hear none of it!

EIGHT!!!!

“Blank is reading My Final Heaven, and if he gets this one off you can pretty much wrap this thing up!”

“Not so quick, Axis!” Shouts Edwin! “I see some movement! Johnny Dangerous is still alive!”

NINE!!!!

Suddenly Johnny springs back to life, bouncing straight to his feet and making headway for the turnbuckle before Blank can even consider jumping!

“Johnny Dangerous was playing possum!”

CRACK! Johnny smashes his fist into Blank’s jaw, sparking a sudden surge of cheers from the crowd and causing him to loose his footing!

“OH MY GAWD!” Quips Edwin as he tries to shield his eyes from the horror! “Blank just fell right onto his..”

“NUTS!!” The Suicide King finishes off Edwin’s statement while rising to his feet to get a better view of the damage as the crowd “OOOOO”S” in disgust! “What the hell is with all the nut gouging tonight?”

Johnny begins to climb the turnbuckle while throwing a few light jabs in to keep Blank at bay. He ascends to the top and thrust Blanks head under his arm, sparking another round of cheers from the crowd as Johnny raises his arm out to them!

“It looks like Johnny Dangerous is about to turn the tides here but, what devastating move is he about to perform?” Ask Axis.

Johnny leaps off the turnbuckle, bringing Blank along for the ride, rotating himself in mid air for a Twist of Fate!!

WWwwWHhhHHAaAaMMMmmmMMMMMmmM!!!!!!!!!!

Blank’s head bounces off the mat like a basketball, popping him back into the air and crashing back down onto his back seconds after Johnny connects with his Twist of Fate!! The crowds roar once more, cheering for the maneuver and its outcome as well. From the commentators booth a rather shocked trio looks on.

“I don’t think I’ve seen anyone pull of that move like that before!”

“Me either, Axis” Edwin adds in. “But if he intends to capitalize on the moment he better get in there quick!”

The effects of the fall wear off as Johnny begins to crawl over to the limp Blank, hoping to finally get a pin fall out of this one. He reaches Blank but stops for a moment looking at the damage done. Johnny runs his hand through his jet black mane, putting a few misplaced hairs back in their proper position, straightens his tie, then drops down on top of Blank!

ONE!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

DING! DING! DING!

WHAM! King slams his fist into the table in disgust! “How in the blue blazes did Bond there manage to pull that one off? The last thing we need is another golden rookie around here! And what the hell is up with that tie straightening bit?!”

“Calm down, King.” Edwin says beaming with a smile. “There is always room for another star in the sky! Besides I’m rather impressed with both men here and by the sound of it so are the crowds!”

“And your winner” Bellows Funyon, trying to be heard over the lively audience. “JOHNNNNNNNNNNNYY DANGEROUS!!”

“Well Johnny Dangerous came out with a vengeance here to win his first match, and win it he did!”

“Well, Edwin.” Says Axis. “An impressive start to this rookies career, but we got more to come after this break!”

“Matt Meyers and Leon Sharpe with the European championship on the line! Coming up next!”

September 16, 2002

Axis: "And…. We are back live here in ECW Arena in Philadelphia …"

We see the barrages of signs around the arena such as "CUTTHROAT MOWS MY YARD", "SHARPE WORLD ORDER", "PORK", "JUDGE MENTAL FEARS PREPARATION H" and "I BOUGHT MY TICKETS FROM A SCALPER". We then zoom back to see the commentators, Edwin MacPhisto, Suicide King and Axis.

"And coming up next on the show will be a match for the SJL European title, between the new champion, Matt Myers and the new #1 contender, Leon Sharpe." Edwin says

"You may be trying to mess up Myers with this match, but Leon just plunged himself into a fire here. He may beat Blank and Jack, but this is Matt Myers" King observes

"You never know what can happen in SJL, especially with a relative newcomer like Leon Sharpe" Edwin says.

King replies with "Brother Red is gonna leave Leon black and blue. Sharpe can be 10 feet tall and it won’t matter tonight. The feeding habits of Sharpe’s stupid snake won’t matter either."

Axis says "Sharpe is a relative novice here in SJL, scoring his only two wins in his last two matches. We’ll just have to see if he can compete with Myers"

Funyon grabs the ring microphone and announces to the crowd the following: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP!"

We hear cheers from the crowd on the announcement of that before the lights dim slightly and we were "Something bad is gonna happen" by Fenix TX start up.

Funyon: He makes his residence in Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 305 pounds, the challenger, LEON SHARPE!

Leon Sharpe comes out to the ring in black leather pants with a "SHARPE WORLD ORDER" t-shirt on. He is carrying a duffel bag down to the ring with his t-shirts inside the bag. He doesn’t stop at all, instead focusing on walking down to the ring. Sharpe stops for one moment to sell his SWO t-shirt for a hefty sum of money to the one and only Faith No More guy. Sharpe steps over the top rope and he walks to a corner.

Axis: Sharpe seemingly looks focused here!

King: Yeah, he didn’t even sell any t-shirts.. I bet that’s the reason why he is so focused now.

Edwin: Sharpe can make the fans happy later, after he has wrestled tonight. He doesn’t want to screw up his fung shei, does he?

King: What a load of crap. It’s just Korean for "excuses"

Funyon buts with his next announcement.

Funyon: Introducing next..

The arena's lights come to a sudden halt, as the arena darkens for about ten seconds...then...

::BOOM!::

King: "Damnit! I hate when that happens!"

A huge neon-purple pyro goes off in the middle of the entrance way, as a multi-colored stroblelight hits in the arena, still engulfed in darkness, as the arena turns into a rave-like state. "Rise" by The Cult blasts through the speakers, as the fans rise from their seats. Smoke hisses out from the entrance way, as Matt Myers steps through the smoke, and on to the entrance ramp holding the European title belt. He walks down to the ring, as he slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, as he jumps up on the middle rope, looking out at the crowd.

Funyon: Hailing from New Haven, Connecticut and weighing in at 229 pounds, He is the SJL European Champion, MATT MYERS!

Matt takes off his glasses and throws them into the crowd, which gives a lucky fan a present they won't forget. He then hops down from his second-rope perch.

Myers hands the European title over to the referee for tonight, Anthony Michael Hall, and as he is handing the belt to the timekeeper, Myers and Sharpe stare each other down.

*DINGDINGDING*

The ring bell rings to start this match as Sharpe is just towering over Myers while they stand toe to toe with each other. Sharpe smirks at Myers and condescendingly rubs Myers spiked hair as a sign of disrespect. "You suppose Sharpe is rubbing that for good luck" Edwin asks. Myers shakes his head at Sharpe, fixes his hair and walks back, bouncing off the ropes. Myers walks back up to Sharpe and they lock up in a collar and elbow tie-up. Sharpe uses his strength to throw Myers into the corner on that tie-up. Myers gets up, brushes himself off and taunts Sharpe to come after him. Sharpe obliges and comes in to attack Myers, only to have Matt get out of the way. Matt taunts Sharpe some more to the boos of the fans. Matt hits Sharpe with a hard spinning kick as Sharpe was charging.

King smirks and says "This is how Myers can control the match, by making Sharpe’s strength and size a non-factor, kicking his legs out and cheating like mad to pin him"

Sharpe is knocked into the ropes by that kick. Myers hits some more kicks to the ribs of Sharpe, knocking him though the ropes and onto the apron. We hear the crowd start a chant of "BUY THE T-SHIRT" to support Sharpe. Sharpe gets up onto his feet on the apron and Matt Myers superkicks Sharpe, knocking him off the apron and onto the floor.

Sharpe shakes his head a bit and then decides to try and soak up the positive chants. He rolls into the ring to continue after a short count. Sharpe gets onto his feet and Myers begins kicking at his ribs some more. Myers takes Sharpe down to one knee. Myers goes though the ropes and climbs the turnbuckles as Sharpe gets to his feet. Myers flies off the top with a Cross Body and Sharpe catches him. Sharpe flings him down to the mat with a powerslam. Sharpe drops a knee on the chest of Myers.

Sharpe picks Myers up and throws him through the ropes, leaving Matt Myers to land on the floor. Sharpe goes though the ropes and jumps onto the floor. Sharpe looks at the ECW legend Sign Guy, who is holding up a "Buy the t-shirt" sign. Sharpe nods in approval as Myers tries to strike Sharpe. Sharpe barely moves in reponse to these moves, hitting Myers with a clothesline, knocking him down to the floor. Sharpe then points to the Sign Guy.

Axis: "What could this mean?"

King: "If he yells ‘D-Von, get the t-shirts!’, Elvis is gonna shoot out his TV set"

Sharpe takes the "Buy the T-Shirt" sign from Sign Guy and hits Myers over the head with it. Myers barely moves after that devastating shot with posterboard. Myers takes the sign and rips it up, drawing boos from the fans. Sharpe is visably enraged and he gives Myers the Uraken Spinning Backfist to the head, which causes him to be a little bit dazed. Sharpe rolls into the ring to break up the count, then he rolls back out and kicks Myers in the gut. Sharpe puts Myers between his legs, lifts him up into the sky and falls back with a Piledriver onto the floor. Myers is pretty much out from the impact of that move, so Sharpe tosses him into the ring.

Axis: "Myers may just be out for the count after that piledriver on the floor"

Sharpe flips Myers on his back and makes the cover

One!

Two!

Kickout by Myers! Sharpe picks Myers up, but Myers, unknown to the referee, hits Sharpe with a low blow. Sharpe hunches over in pain, bent over and a good target for a scissors kick. This knocks Sharpe down onto his stomach. Myers drops a leg down on the back of Sharpe’s head and then he turns him over to make a cover.

One!

Two!

Kickout by Sharpe! Sharpe gets back up to his feet as Myers stares right at him. Myers throws a spinning heel kick at Sharpe, but Sharpe shrugs it off and throws Myers down. Myers gets up and taunts Sharpe. Myers then moves around some more on his feet, flinging kicks at Sharpe as he walks. Myers tosses more crisp kicks at Sharpe as the crowd starts a chant of "WE WANT BLOOD". Myers kicks Sharpe in the knee and then tosses him down to the mat with a snapmare. Myers hits more kicks on the seated Sharpe and shoves him down to the mat and chokes him some. Myers breaks on the count for four for the choke as we hear boos from the fans. Myers knees Sharpe in the gut and puts his arms around his waist, lifting him up and over for a gutwrench suplex.

Axis: "Myers is trying to gradually wear Sharpe down."

King: "Yeah, Myers should know it couldn’t hurt if he just hit Sharpe with the belt until he bled."

Myers kicks and stomps Sharpe as he tries to get back to his feet. Myers clotheslines Sharpe, and Sharpe does not move at all. Sharpe just stares at Myers with an intense look in his eyes. Sharpe hits Myers with a kneelift, hunching him over and Sharpe pulls Myers shirt off over his head and pounds him to the cheers of the fans.

Axis: "Shades of Dave Schultz here with that pounding!"

King: "Dave Schultz? Wasn’t he the guy who slapped John Stossel?"

Sharpe pulls Myers t-shirt off, blows his nose in it and starts to choke him with it. Sharpe breaks the count on four and tosses the t-shirt out into the crowd as King moans that Sharpe is going for a t-shirt monopoly. Sharpe throws Myers over his head and Myers lands hard on the canvas with an Exploder Suplex. Sharpe goes for a cover.

One!

Two!

Kickout by the champion!

Myers rolls out of the ring and rests for a few moments. Letting the referee count to 8 before getting on the apron. Myers ducks a charge from Sharpe, grabbing Sharpe and dropping him on the top rope throat-first. Sharpe holds his throat in pain as Myers jumps onto the top turnbuckle. Sharpe walks into the corner, Myers puts him in a front face lock and he jumps off the turnbuckle with a Tornado DDT. Myers goes for a cover.

One!

Two!

Kickout by Sharpe!

Sharpe gets to his feet and Myers kicks him in the ribs, causing him to step back a bit. Another kick to the ribs comes from Myers to Sharpe, but when Myers goes for another one, Sharpe catches his leg, before he lifts him up and drops him down with a Sidewalk Slam. Sharpe drops an elbow on Myers and makes another arrogant cover.

One!

Two!

Kickout by Myers!

Sharpe picks up Myers and Myers whacks Sharpe in the back of his knees, taking him down to his knees. Myers then throws elbows and kicks Sharpe in the head, knocking him down onto the canvas. Myers elbowdrops Sharpe and then kicks him some more in his knees. Myers waits a little bit in a corner for one moment.

Myers goes for a spear, but Sharpe counters with an irish whip into the corner. Myers comes back out of the corner and he clips Sharpe, taking him down to the mat. Myers kicks Sharpe in the knees, applying a spinning toe hold to wear his knee down. Myers releases the hold, steps though the ropes to stand on the apron. Then he picks up Sharpe’s legs, gets a hold of them, and then drops them over the second rope knee-first. Myers then drags Sharpe out of the ring as the fans boo.

Myers grabs Sharpe by the hair and throws him into the apron back-first. Sharpe arches his back in pain as Myers comes in with a superkick, knocking Sharpe on his BUTT. Myers steps on the apron to break the refs count before jumping off and going back to work on Sharpe. Myers whips Sharpe into the guardrail and then clotheslines him into the first row.

King: "That’s gonna cause a lawsuit. I wouldn’t want Leon Sharpe on my lap"

Edwin: "King… they’ll probably get his t-shirt as a settlement"

King: "Will they have a choice when it comes to that?"

Edwin: "King, It’s either that or they face Jack the Ripper, our new dunktank victim.."

Sharpe gets to his feet, steps over the guardrail and as he is doing that, Myers dropkicks his knee causing more boos from the fans and causing Sharpe to react with pain. Myers rolls into the ring and waits for Sharpe as he clutches his knee and limps towards the ring. As Sharpe rolls into the ring, Myers kicks and stomps him some more. Myers yanks Sharpe to his feet and dropkicks him in the knees.

As Sharpe is in pain, Myers goes over to Sharpe’s duffel bag and unzips it. He takes out a t-shirt with the splitting image of Leon Sharpe on the front of it, the fans cheer as they see the t-shirt, but then Myers rips the Leon Sharpe’s t-shirt. Sharpe glances over and sees this, it enrages him so much that he gets up onto his feet and runs as fast as he can over to Myers. Sharpe WALLOPS Myers with a clothesline, knocking the merchandise out of Myers hands. Sharpe picks Myers up and hits him with a chokeslam and goes for a cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THR---

Axis: "KICKOUT BY MYERS!"

We hear the crowd chant "ANNIE ECLECTIC".

Edwin: "Wow, remember those matches?"

King: "Edwin, you Prince of Space, This is Philly, they’re misfits and mutants."

Matt Myers gets up, and he is holding his hands to his ears and trying to ignore the crowd. But then, he is picked up and thrown into the corner. Sharpe charges in and hits him with an elbow to the head. Sharpe picks up Myers and suplexes him onto the canvas. As Sharpe limps a little bit, he elbowdrops Myers and then picks him up. Sharpe gives Myers a backbreaker over his knee, grimacing for a moment due to dropping him on his knee. As Sharpe picks Myers up for another move, Myers grabs him by the knee and refuses to let go. Myers drags Sharpe down to the mat and works over his right knee. Myers applies another spinning toe hold to the boos of the crowd.

Sharpe wiggles and grabs a rope, forcing Myers to break the hold. Sharpe gets to his feet, only to have Myers dropkick him in the knees again, taking him down in pain. Myers smiles sadistically while the fans jeer, boo and chant "BUY THE T-SHIRT". Myers puts Sharpe in a single-leg crab, which causes Sharpe even more pain in his leg. Myers releases the hold and beats up on the knee some more. Reapplying the single-leg crab in the middle of the ring. Sharpe wiggles to the ropes, refusing to tap out, but Myers keeps Sharpe away from the ropes. Sharpe finally is able to break out of the hold after a minute of being in it.

Myers stomps Sharpe some more, until Sharpe is able to hit him in the gut and toss him to the mat. Sharpe kicks at Myers on the mat, picks him up and gives him a backdrop. Sharpe limps a bit as he picks Myers up to continue the match. Sharpe drops Myers with a Side Slam and then he goes for a cover.

One!

Two!

And that is not enough, as Myers kicks out. Sharpe keeps Myers on the mat, hooks Myers legs and falls back, slingshotting Myers into the corner. Sharpe is still limping as he comes in to beat on Myers some more. Sharpe executes Snake Eyes on Myers in the corner, hurting him some more. Sharpe follows that up with a hotshot, dropping him throat-first on the top rope. Sharpe smirks and goes behind Myers, he puts him in a waistlock, but Myers is able to get one of Sharpe’s legs and flip forward, reversing it into a kneebar, with Sharpe down on his stomach on the canvas. Sharpe just happens to be within an arms reach of the ropes, which forces Myers to break the hold.

Axis: "How long can Sharpe last on his legs?"

King: "Not long! Haha!"

Sharpe limps up to his feet, only to have Myers kick his leg out from under his body. Sharpe grabs onto the ropes as Myers kicks at his body. Sharpe gets up onto his feet and throws some punches at Myers, knocking him backwards a little bit, Sharpe charges at Myers, only to have Myers dropkick him in the knee. Myers kicks at his knees some more as he yanks Sharpe to his feet, hooks both of Sharpe’s arms and Myers then hits a Double Arm DDT on Sharpe, going for a cover afterwards.

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout by Sharpe! Sharpe had enough in his tank to kick out there. Sharpe gets back to his feet, limping and Myers grabs him by the leg, but Sharpe hits Myers with a lariat, knocking him down to the mat. Sharpe hits another elbowdrop, and then he gets up to go for another one, but Myers gets up, just in time as Sharpe goes down and hits nothing on that elbowdrop. Myers goes back to work on the knee, putting on a Boston Crab on Sharpe. Sharpe manages to reserve the Boston Crab, taking Myers down with his legs. Sharpe ‘gimps up’ to his feet, knocking Myers a bit silly and following up with a Pumphandle Slam. Sharpe grabs his knee in pain and then goes for a cover on Myers.

ONE!

TWO!

Kickout by Myers!

Myers gets to his feet and spinkicks Sharpe, but Sharpe barely moves back. Myers runs off the ropes and gives Sharpe a forearm to the head, knocking him back a few inches. Sharpe charges in with a lariat, but Myers counters it with a drop-toe hold, taking Sharpe down to the mat. Myers rubs Sharpe’s face in the mat in a sign of disrespect.

Edwin: "If you want to beat Sharpey, pissing the lad off will not be the way to do it"

King: "Myers will piss the lad off and Myers should even use the power of his punch if he has the shot. he’s the champion of Europe, which includes your country Edwin!"

Edwin: "I know! I also know that if Sharpey wins the title, it will all be switched. Europe will exchange a champion that they dislike for a champion who dislikes Europe."

Myers kicks at Sharpe some more, but Sharpe trips Myers and gets back to his feet. Sharpe kicks at Myers and picks him up. Sharpe gives him an irish whip off the ropes and drops him down with a Spinebuster. Sharpe drops a knee on Myers and picks him back up. Sharpe looks to the Mutants of ECW Arena and then puts a hand to his ear, soliciting some support from the fans. They oblige Sharpe and cheer, but Myers uses this time of Sharpe asking for cheers to dropkick him in the knee. Sharpe goes down hard. Myers sets Sharpe down in the ring and he goes to the corner, perching himself on the top rope. Myers jumps off with Thoughtless and lands on Sharpe.

Axis: "THOUGHTLESS BY MYERS! THAT SPLASH HITS SHARPE HARD!"

King: "BYE BYE LEON!"

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Sharpe limps up to his feet after that kickout as Myers glances at him. Myers then elbows Sharpe in the stomach and lifts him up onto his shoulders.

Axis: "Incredible displey of strength by Matt Myers here!"

King: "IT’S DEATH MYERS DRIVER TIME! MATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT FOR LEON COMING UP!"

Sharpe manages to escape out of the fireman’s carry, causing Myers to turn around, leaving him open for Sharpe’s variation of F-5.

Axis: "SHARPE HITS HIM WITH THAT MOVE, ILLEGAL IN 46 STATES!"

King: "But not in Pennsylvania!"

Edwin: "Or the Isle of Man!"

Sharpe makes a cover, hooking a leg.

ONE!

TWO!

Axis: "KICKOUT BY MATT MYERS! DAMN!"

King: "Isle of Man? Is that where you wanna go Edwin?"

Axis: "Shaddup King, that’s an island!"

Sharpe picks up Myers and puts him in a rear waistlock, looking to be set up for a German Suplex. But Myers nails Sharpe with an elbow to the gut and hits him with his Diamond Cutter, called the Memory!

Axis: "MEMORY! IS IT OVER?"

King: "MEMORY! THAT’S ALL THAT WILL BE LEFT OF THIS TITLE SHOT FOR NEON LEON!"

Myers goes for a cover on Sharpe, hooking a leg.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT BY SHARPE!

Sharpe limps up to his feet, Myers nails him with a kneelift and then takes him down to the mat with a Buzzkiller. Myers goes to the top rope and decides to taunt Sharpe, who is down on the mat, on his back.

Edwin: "Dumb move by Myers, don’t give Leon Sharpe time!"

King: "Leon Sharpe has no more time!"

Myers jumps off the turnbuckles with the Revolution…

King: "SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION! IT’S COMING!’

But, Sharpe, at the last minute, is able to roll out of the way, which makes Myers miss his corkscrew moonsault. As Myers lays on his stomach, Sharpe picks him up and puts him in a front face lock under his left arm. Sharpe then puts Myers left arm over his head and lifts him up for a suplex to the cheers of the fans.

King: "His legs are weak. SHARPE, YOU FOOL!"

Sharpe is able to stay standing and he drops Myers down with the Jackhammer. Sharpe hooks Myers legs as he goes for a cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE…

Axis: "KICKOUT! MYERS KICKED OUT AT THE LAST POSSIBLE NANOSECOND!"

Edwin: "TO QUOTE FAAROOQ HERE: DAMN!"

Sharpe picks up Myers and Myers nails him in the knees. Sharpe manages to use his strength to stay standing, so Myers kicks him in the knees a few more times. Sharpe throws Myers off him and then he kicks Myers in the midsection. Leon Sharpe lifts Myers up in a Gorilla Press.

King: "Fool! How long can Leon the Fool’s knees hold up? He’s like a hooker, he has to fall on them soon!"

Leon Sharpe presses Myers above his head, and then Myers manages to fall down on Sharpe as Sharpe’s legs come out from under him, giving Myers a shot at a cover, which he makes.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Sharpe limps a bit as Myers tries to whip Sharpe into the ropes, Sharpe counters with an Irish Whip into the ropes and Sharpe takes Matt Myers down with a Big Boot!

Axis: "SHARPE BACK IN CONTROL!"

King: "Sharpe’s an idiot! He just booted Myers and left his bad leg on the mat, he just screwed himself!"

Sharpe takes a few steps, and then goes down hard. Sharpe clutches his leg and looks like he is in intense pain.

King: "YES! VOODOO WORKS! VOODOO WORKS! THANK YOU JEAN CLAUDE! THOSE PINS IN THE QUAD ARE TO CREDIT FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY!"

Edwin: "I don’t think Sharpe tore his quad, but he is in pain!"

Myers smiles and then toys with Sharpe a little bit. He picks Sharpe up by the hair, and then SHARPE COUNTERS WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Axis: "WE HAVE A NEW SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPION! LEON SHARPE HAS WON THE BELT!"

Edwin: "And Sharpe lured Myers into that. He’s up and he’s in pain, but not the pain he looked to be in after he went down"

King: "Leon Sharpe played possum, he’s ugly like a possum and he will be run over like a possum soon. Even if I have to do it with an SUV"

Axis: "Leon Sharpe has the belt and he is limping out of here as a champion"

King: "At least Leon is hurt now."

Edwin: "Stay tuned to the show, we have some more action coming up here!"

We fade to commericals

September 16, 2002

“Frost brand cigars: Buy them or I will crush you like the insignificant ant you are.”

The old ECW arena fades into sight as SJL Crimson returns for more heart-pounding action! The camera gives it’s usually pan across the arena, showing crazy fans abound as they wait for the impending carnage of the next match. The camera cuts down to the triumvirate of announcers at the ringside.

“Hello and welcome back to the former ECW arena back in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! I’m Axis, your play-by-play announcer for the evening, and sitting to my sides are Edwin-” Axis motions to Edwin, who is currently snickering at something. Edwin finally realizes that the camera is on him and gives a nice wave hello to it. “And the Suicide King.” Axis motions to King, who seems to be incredibly angry.

“What’s with him?” Asks Axis to Edwin.

Edwin stops his rampant snickering and answers. “He just bombed with the concessions stand lady.” As Edwin finishes he burst into laughter again and Axis joins him. King looks at the two and particularly at Axis: He can stand Edwin, but Axis? He pulls out a set of keys and isolates one of them, holding it up so both of the foreign goof balls can see it. “Car key.” He slides that one down and gets the next one. “House key.” Again, he brings up another key, but he looks at this one for a moment and then looks at Axis. “SHED key.” Axis instantly freezes up at the mention of a shed. He nervously looks at King and goes back to announcing.

“Well, so far the card has been pretty tame up ‘till now, but the ECW festivities begin with this ‘Gavel and Cage’ Match up next between Kamikaze and Judge Mental. The Judge seems to have a thing for causing pain, and Kamikaze certainly didn’t like it. So last time on SJL Wrath Kaze came out and issued a challenge to the Judge, and the Judge accepted.”

Edwin nods and speaks up. “Yes, that’s the just of it. Kaze had the guts to stand up to the Judge, and honestly; I think he can stay with him the whole nine yards in this match up. He’s got the heart, he’s got the skills, and I think he has enough to pull the win here.”

With a sarcastic scoff King enters his own opinion. “Yeah, sure Edwin. Look, heart doesn’t matter. If heart mattered, ELM would have beaten Tom Flesher, the Carnies would have won Wargames, and Erek Taylor wouldn’t be retired. When it all comes down to it, the only thing that matters is where your eyes are. Not on some stupid crusade, like Kaze, but on the match. Mental is on the match, and he has the skills to beat Kaze up like Blank and Cutthroat. I suggest the EMTs get down here, because there is one crazy Minnesotan that is going to the hospital after tonight’s cage match.” After King finishes his remarks, music comes over the speakers and the first man enters.

“I….. STAND ALONE!”

The crowd comes to their feet in cheers as the hero, Kamikaze, of the moment comes down the ramp. Oddly enough, he isn’t looking behind himself like he normally does; he keeps his eyes affixed at the cage, trying to concentrate as hard as possible for the match ahead. “Weighing in at 235 pounds and hailing from Minnetonka, Minnesota, KamiKAZE!!!” He reaches the ring, and the ref opens the cage door for him as he climbs into the massive conglomeration of steel fencing and I beams. He goes up to one of the turnbuckles, cocks his head to the sky and shouts “KAMIKAZEEEEE!!!!!” working the crowd up even more.

“It seems like Kaze is pretty focused for this match. Really, this is the first time he’s come out and stood up to someone. Up ‘til now, he’s rarely said anything outside of the wrestling ring.” Notes Axis as Kaze warms up. The lights begin dim, and the arena turns a sickly deep red to announce the coming of the other challenger.

“NOW TESTIFY!”

Rage Against the Machine’s “Testify” begins to play in mid song as flaming pyros shoot up from the entranceway. The pyros go down, the light come back up, and out walks Judge Mental in his usual attire of judicial robes flowing off his body. He walks to the ring, staring emotionlessly at Kaze and the cage. “Weighing in at 266 pounds and hailing from Royal Oak, Michigan, Judge… MENTAL!!!!” The Judge enters the ring through the door, and produces a gavel from underneath his robes. He throws it out into the middle of the ring, almost as a dare to Kaze to go pick it up. The Judge hands his robe to the ref, who quickly leaves the area and closes the cage door.

“The following contest is a cage match. The first man to touch the ground on the outside of the cage wins. Anything inside the cage is allowed, and there are no disqualifications.”

The ref puts a lock on the door, and waves at the timekeeper’s table to signal the bell.

*DING DING DING*

“And the match is ready! Two men enter, one man leaves! Who will it be?” Says Axis, who bangs his fist against the table for emphasis.

“Really Axis, do you always have to get violent when you start quoting Mad Max?” asks Edwin.

The two stare at each other, watching each step and each movement. They move forward, warily eyeing the other’s movements, before dashing into a grapple. Both Kaze and Mental struggle to get the upper hand on each other, using their strength to try to over power their opponent. Mental pushes Kaze back a little, causing the smaller man to push harder at him. Mental sees the advantage, and pushes harder, causing Kaze to start to bend at the knees. Before the Judge can think about doing anymore, Kaze uses his size to ducks down and out of the grapple, going under the Judge’s arm and getting behind him. The slightly off kilter Judge nearly falls forward before Kaze wraps his right arm around Mental’s neck and pulling him back into the mat.

“Kaze was nearly in trouble with the Judge, but he used his size to get out of a potentially dangerous position there.” Comments Axis on Kaze’s escape.

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Kaze’s got the will, and that’s the way he’s going to win this.” Muses Edwin.

“The only thing that will is gonna get him is a one-way ticket to the hospital.” King snidely adds.

Mental begins to get up, but Kaze doesn’t even let him get to his knees by giving him a sharp kick to the stomach. Mental grabs his stomach as Kaze pulls out his right arm, holding it straight away from his body with both his arms, lifts himself into the air on his hands, and quickly drops both knees right down on Mental’s elbow. A bellow of pain comes out as Kaze quickly steps himself up for another double knee drop, and speedily lands the move again. Not wanting to press his luck, Kaze gets up and goes for the Gavel as the Judge pushes himself toward the ropes with his feet.

“Kaze’s already working Mental’s arm, which could mean a lot of things later in the match.” Axis notes as Kaze reaches the Gavel.

“The guy has heart where it counts. I mean, how do think I beat Thugg?” Edwin says, posing the question to no one in particular.

“Blah blah blah, I beat Thugg, blah blah blah. So have I! I mean, who hasn’t beaten Thugg?” Says King, before both of them begin to look at Axis and laugh.

Kaze picks up the gavel, spinning it around it his hand for a moment. He looks at Mental, who is just beginning to get up while carefully nursing his hurt arm, and charges at him yelling a battle cry. Mental lifts his left arm up in defense, but the charging crazy man swipes it aside with the gavel and uses the return swing to smack the Judge right in the cheek, knocking his head right to the ground.

“Ouch,” Edwin remarks, wincing in a phantom pain from just looking at Kaze’s strike. “Any more hits like that and he’s going to end up looking like a rugby player after a bad scrum.” Axis nods in agreement as King gives a cockeyed look at Edwin, the reference lost on the only American in the group.

Mental kicks himself away, bent over clutching his jaw in pain and probably trying to count how many teeth he lost with the last blow. Kaze follows up behind him, but Mental turns his head around a little and lays a mule kick right in the more vulnerable regions of his competitor’s anatomy. Kaze drops the gavel to the mat as he grabs his tenderized genitalia, and Mental instinctively acts on the weakness, bringing himself up for a big clothesline. Unfortunately for Mental, being right handed means he also instinctively hit Kaze with the right arm, and afterward both men fall to the ground with Mental seizing his arm in agony and Kaze rolling around covering his gonads, with the gavel laying between the two.

“After the brutal smack from Kaze Mental finally gets in a little offense, but throws it away by forgetting about his recently worked over arm. Kaze is really beginning to show some good skills here with going after that right arm.”

Mental slowly gets up using his left arm as Kaze weakly tries to stand. Mental gets up first, going over to the struggling Kaze and giving him a swift kick in the side, causing Kaze to keel over on the mat. Mental looks over at the gavel, gives one of his now familiar devilish grins, and grabs it with his right hand. Moving quickly, the Judge gets on Kaze’s back and pulls back Kaze’s left leg as if for a normal half-Boston Crab. But Mental adds, his own touch: instead of holding the gavel as a club, he holds it like a corkscrew and drives it into the back of Kaze’s knee with his left arm. Kaze screams in pain as the Judge brutally shoves it hard into the pressure point. Kaze struggles trying to free himself, trying hard to straighten out the locked leg, causing the Judge to grunt in pain as he tries to keep the hold with his injured right arm. The more Kaze tries, the harder it gets for the Judge to keep the control of the hold, until finally Kaze’s leg slips right out and slams against the mat.

“Yeah, show him how it’s done Judge!” Cheers the Suicide King.

“You mean with sadism and an utter disregard for the other man’s life?” Questions Edwin, and the breaker of hearts looks back at him nonchalantly.

“Of course. How else do you expect to get the job done?”

Mental quickly gets up after losing the hold, and pulls Kaze up to his feet. Kaze gets up, favoring his right leg a little, and Mental whips him to the other side of the ring. Bouncing off the ropes, Kaze comes back at Mental, and Mental pivots on his right foot, and in one swift motion brings his right foot up to head height for a deadly Superkick….. That MISSES! Kamikaze ducks right under the high kick, grabs the Judge’s right arm and wrenches it behind his back for a painful hammerlock! Kaze tries to grab the gavel from the Judge’s left hand, but Mental holds it out of his reach. Mental, thinking quickly, brings leg up and gives a stiff kick to Kaze’s left knee, causing Kaze to release the hold and grip his knee for a moment.

Mental turns around and steps away, rubbing his right arm trying to comfort the throbbing, but no rest for the wicked as Kaze rushes in to start a grapple. Mental drops the gavel trying to push Kaze back like before, but Kaze pushes hard on the right side, and Mental begins to crumple back due to the pain on his arm as the crowd begins to swell with cheers.

“Mental is falling back! He can’t grapple now due to Kaze’s constant hammering of his right arm!” Axis shouts into his microphone as King stare’s on in disbelief.

“No! NO! The Judge is just screwing with him! He can’t lose to some like Kamikaze! The goddamn guy has been in the lower-mid card hell forever! The Judge is moving on to bigger, better things, like-” King stammers on but Edwin cuts him off.

“Yeah, like polishing the TV belt! The Judge was too confident coming into the match. I don’t know if he didn’t watch the tapes like he normally does, or is just being sloppy, but it looks like the Judge’s ego is about to be overruled!”

The Judge grimaces in pain as Kaze puts more pressure on the side, and now Mental is kneeling on his right knee, and Kaze takes advantage of the grapple. He slides his arms into a suplex position, and lifts the massive Mental up into the air. He stalls for a moment, holding the large man in the air as the crowd counts for 1… 2… 3… 4… 5 seconds and brings the old man straight down on his head, driving it right into the dropped gavel! Mental covers his head with his arms as Kaze slowly gets up, still leaning on his right leg to take pressure off his left knee. He picks up the gavel and moves in on Mental, who is still rolling around in pain from the ‘Gavelbusta’. Pulls the stunned man up by his right arm and whips him into the corner hard, following him with the gavel.

Kaze comes up to Mental, who is draped over the turnbuckle, raises the gavel high and slams it down right on the Judge’s right arm again. Another cry of pain from the Judge, his tender arm now throbbing with pain. Kaze winds up and swings again, but Mental catches his arm with his left hand, and pulls the crazy man into a sharp knee. Kaze doubles over after the wind is knocked out of him while Mental moves out of the turnbuckle and gives a swift kick to Kaze’s left knee, causing Kaze goes down on one knee as it gives way beneath him. Mental pulls Kaze away from the turnbuckle and to the center of the ring by his legs, grabbing the gavel from Kamikaze along the way. Mental takes the left leg again, giving it a few hit with his elbow, getting a moan of pain from Kaze. He takes the gavel like a beer tap again and drills it into Kaze’s knee, pushing it hard. The crazy Minnesotan twists his leg like mad, trying to get it out of Mental’s grip, but to no avail. Mental twist the gavel further into Kaze’s knee as the smaller man writhes around on the ground.

“Mental continues to cruelly drill the handle of the gavel into Kaze’s left knee. After this, I don’t even know if Kamikaze will be able to walk around.” Says Axis, watching as Mental throws Kaze’s leg down with a laugh and begins to stomp it.

Mental gives one last stomp, and gives a moment of thought before doing anything else. He gives a little smirk as an idea pops into his head as he turns Kaze on his back and begins to twist Kaze’s knee around his leg.

“Mental is going for an STF!” Yells Axis into the mic.

Suicide King smiles and kicks his feet up on the announcer’s table. “Technical brilliance at work, boys. Mental is like a pit bull: when he finds a spot he likes he doesn’t let go of it ‘til the job is done.”

Mental tries complete the technique, but Kaze kicks his free leg up right into Mental’s right arm. Mental grabs his arm, dropping the gavel, and falls back, releasing the hold and briefly saving Kaze’s knee of any more torture. Kamikaze kicks himself away with his right leg as Mental tries to recover from the sharp kick. Using the ropes to help himself up, Kaze stands up, barely putting weight on the left leg. He limps over to Mental, who still rubbing the hurt arm, and gives him a quick elbow drop. Mental gets laid out as Kaze once again struggles to his feet, this time trying to pick Mental up without aggravating his leg further. After a moment, he stands Mental up so that the old man faces him, and leaps forward off his right foot. He catches Mental’s head in midair and snaps it off his shoulder in a quick motion, sending Mental to the ground clutching his neck.

“A big neckbreaker by Kamikaze after nearly getting trapped in an STF. But neither man has tried to get out of the cage yet. Sooner or later one of them has to try and leave.” Axis says.

Again, Kaze slowly gets up, and gets an odd look as he stares at the gavel on the ground. He picks it up, holding an end in each hand as if it were piano wire, and slowly limps to the Judge. When he reaches the downed Judge and puts the gavel to his neck, and sits down on the Judge’s back, making a modified Camel Clutch with the gavel! The crowd roars to life as the Judge futilely tries to pull away the gavel from his throat, his injured arm not having enough strength to break the hold. He elbows Kaze’s left knee, causing Kaze to grimace, but still the steadfast Minnesotan chokes the life out of the Judge. After a few more moments, Kaze breaks the hold and limps as quickly as he can to the other side of the ring and goes between the ropes, leaving one breathless old man gasping for air. He grabs the steel mesh of the cage and begins his ascent, the crowd madly cheering him on!

“Kamikaze is making a break for it! After choking the life out of Judge Mental with the help of the gavel and a modified camel clutch, he’s finally going to try and end this brutal match!” Cries Axis over the sound of the crowd.

“Yes!” Says Edwin, ecstatic that Kaze could win the match. “See, King? Heart and hard work can win you a match! It looks like…” Edwin trails off as he sees a calm King yawning at the sight of Kaze reaching the cage’s mesh. “Why are you so calm?”

King smirks knowingly, and says, “Just watch, Edwin. Mental’s experience and planning is about to pay off.”

As Edwin turns to the ring again, he sees Kaze slowly trying to climb, but he’s barley made it 4 ft as his face contorts in pain. He slowly tries to go forward, but his left leg quivers and nearly gives out as it is forced to bear Kaze’s weight during the climb. He puts his right leg back down and waits a moment as he tries to recover.

“Mental isn’t a moron.” King points out. “He’s probably been in more cage matches than any all of us at this table combined. He knows better than us what works and what does not. He knew that you have to CLIMB out, so he worked the part of the body that would be affected the most during the climb: The legs. And it seems like his plan is working beautifully. Just goes to show that skill, not heart, decides a match.”

As Kaze begins his climb again, Mental gets back up, picking up the gavel along the way. He reaches Kaze as he is about 6 ft off the ground, jumps up, and grabs the left leg. Kaze screams as he curls his fingers around the wire mesh, trying to hold on as Mental pulls on his leg trying to get him to the ground. He weakly tries to pull the leg up, and for a moment, he looks like he can get out of Mental’s grip. Kaze’s leg goes higher; pulling Mental up with it, and nearly gets to the next foothold…. But Mental gives an evil smile and pulls it right down. Kaze screams in pain as he loses his grip and falls right to the mat. Mental begins to go through the ropes, as if he were going to start his climb, but stops and moves toward Kaze again.

“Mental pulls Kaze back to Earth and almost begins his climb, but instead it looks as if he going to cause more pain to Kaze.” Axis notes dejectedly, definitely not enjoying Mental’s senseless cruelty.

“Aw, Axis, let the man have his fun. He’s taken quite a beating. He deserves some fun.” King says with a laugh.

Mental picks Kaze up and begins to grapple with the weaken Kaze. He quickly gains the advantage over the semi-conscious man, and tries to lift him up for a Suplex, but about halfway up puts Kaze back down. Mental shakes off his right arm, trying to shake off some of the pain, and tries again. This time he lifts Kaze up more with his left arm, and slowly he gets Kaze up. He holds him up, wobbling a little back and forth, and then spins his body around and drops Kaze 150 degrees from where he started. Mental gets up, giving a silent curse, and begins to pick Kaze up again.

“Mental has to try twice to get off a very sloppy Corkscrew Suplex. Obviously he is still having a little trouble doing everything with his left rather than his right.” Points out Axis as Mental stands Kaze up facing in the opposite direction.

“Yes, but you can’t get it perfect every time, now can we Axis?” Asks King. “If we all could- See! There, a perfect German Suplex. Mental still can do stuff like that despite an injured arm.”

Mental gets up, giving a quick rub to his right arm trying to give comfort to the soreness, and begins to pick Kaze up again. After standing Kaze up, Mental picks him up again, putting him vertically into Suplex position. He tries to turn him around, but Kaze starts to fall backward, causing Mental to have strain to put him back into the vertical position.

“The Judge is going for an Orange Crush! This could be a match ender right here!” Announces Axis.

“Hey, Axis, don’t get too worked up.” Says Edwin with a giggle. “Remember, Cutthroat was able to kick out of this.”

“Hey! That was just a fluke! If Kaze gets hit by this, he is done for.” King replies defensively.

Mental tries again to turn Kaze around, but this time, Kaze bends his legs backwards, causing Mental to fall backwards. Kaze wraps one of his arms around Mental’s neck, and maneuvers his shoulder to turn the fall into a falling neckbreaker! Mental falls to the mat, barely moving, and Kaze slowly tries to get up. He limps over to the closest turnbuckle, climbs to the top slowly, and produces a headband with the insignia the Japanese ‘Rising Sun’. The crowd pops big time, and Kaze gives them a weak smile back.

“Kamikaze is going for his finisher, the Kamikaze! If Mental gets hit with this, Kaze may get the head start climbing that he needs to win this match!” Axis bellows as Kaze stabilizes himself on the turnbuckle.

Kamikaze takes a deep breath, and leaps off the turnbuckle, screaming “KAMIKAZEEEE!!!!!!!”…..

Flashbulbs light off from the crowd, anticipating the final blow…

The trio of announcers looks on as Kamikaze’s body spins in midair as he flies closer to Judge Mental’s body…..

And hits nothing but mat.

“MENTAL ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY OF THE KAMIKAZE, AND KAZE IS LEFT DOWN ON THE GROUND!” Yells Axis at the top of his lungs.

King laughs uncontrollably and retorts “No wonder he calls it the Kamikaze. The only person it finishes is himself!”

Kaze lays lifeless on the mat as Mental rolls over onto his belly and begins to get up. He looks down at Kaze’s body, gives it a small kick, and lifts it up. He pulls him up, wraps his arms around the Kaze’s waist and brings him up in Tombstone piledriver position. He bends his knees, jumps up and turns 90 degrees, planting Kaze’s head into the mat for his finisher, the Verdict.

“It’s OVER!’ King cries with glee. “Noone is getting up from that one.”

Mental gets up, standing over the fallen would-be hero. He gives a small scoff, and walks over to the steel mesh of the cage. He begins to try to climb, getting a couple feet off the ground before stopping. He scowls as he lets go of the mesh with his right arm, giving the tender appendage a short break.

Edwin looks on and has a flash of sudden insight. “Ha! Kaze worked the arm over enough that Mental is going to have to take his sweet time getting up to the top. Kaze still has a chance in all of this.”

The Judge slowly puts his right arm back up and grabs the cage, and begins his trek again. He goes slowly, foot by foot, toward the top of the cage. Meanwhile, Kaze begins to stir, and the crowd tries to get him up.

“KAZE….. KAZE……”

Kaze lifts his head slowly off the ground….

“KAZE…. KAZE….”

And begins to raise his body up ever-so-slowly….

”KAZE… KAZE…”

The crowd speeds up their chant, and Kaze begins to get to his feet….

“KAZE! KAZE!”

Mental is only a couple feet away from the top….

“KAZE-KAZE-KAZE-KAZE…”

Kaze slowly begins to limp over to the side of the cage, his face contorting in pain….

“KAZE-KAZE-KAZE-KAZE….”

The crowd chants louder, and Kaze begins to move faster, ignoring the pain, and gets to the side of the cage, and begins to climb a couple feet to the side of Mental. His face shows that he’s in incredible pain, but he shakes his head and keeps mouthing one word: No.

”Kaze’s made it up! He’s beginning to climb the cage, despite the bad leg! But can he catch up to Mental?” Questions Axis.

Mental reaches the top, slowly but surely making his way over the top, while Kaze climbs up faster, his left leg looking as if it were going to give out at any moment. He gets within a few feet of the top as Mental is going over, and it almost looks as if he’s going to catch the Judge when….

Kaze’s left knee gives and leaves Kaze hanging on by his fingers! Kaze yells as he barely holds on, and Mental gets over and slowly begins to trek downward. The crowd chants him to go on, and he begins to lift himself up, regaining his footing with his right leg.

“Close call there with Kaze! He nearly fell off, but he holds out, and it’s still anyone’s match!”

Kaze begins climbing again, reaching the top of the cage to a massive pop. Mental is still ahead of him by a couple feet now, but Kaze’s left leg is barely useable now. He gets himself on top of the cage slowly, putting his right foot on the top. He balances himself for a moment and....

“KA…… MI….. KA….. ZEEE!!!!!!

Kaze leaps as hard as he can toward Mental, who looks up to see a 235 pound object flying at him! The Judge pulls himself against the cage as Kaze comes at him… and wraps his arms around Mental’s neck!

“BAH GOD! Kamikaze jumped at Judge Mental from the top of the cage, and is now latched onto to the man 14 ft above the ground!” Axis says, but is drowned out by the Philly crowd, who begins chanting “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Kaze holds onto Mental’s neck with his left arm as he jabs the old man’s right arm, trying to make him let go of the cage. The Judge cries out in pain, and he’s right hand comes off!

“Is he INSANE?! That’s a 14 ft drop to the concrete!” King yells, astounded at Kamikaze’s actions.

“Kaze doesn’t care about the drop, King.” Edwin says with sage-like clarity. “He’s here to stop Mental. To him, if it means they both go down, then so be it. He doesn’t care about the match, he just cares about showing Mental that he can stop him. That’s heart. And that’s why he can win this.”

Mental tries to regain his grip with his right hand, but Kaze grabs it and pulls it backward, causing the Judge to bellow in agony. Kaze can’t reach Mental’s left arm, so he begins to swing his body back and forth violently. The Judge grits his teeth, trying to keep up, but finally…..

Mental loses his grip and both men begin to plummet toward the ground! Time seems to go in slow motion as the two gracefully fall away from the side of the cage.

More flashbulbs go off as some of the women in the crowd scream in horror….

Mental, with a wide-eye look of shock and horror, tries to grab the cage that is far out of reach….

Kaze closes his eyes hard and silently says something as he prepares for the impact….

The announcers watch on as the pair fall down further and further….

And land with a sickening thud as Kaze is crushed underneath the big Judge.

EMTs rush to the two unconscious men as refs come over and begin to talk about the amazing turn of events. They look at the Smarktron, and watch as Kaze and Mental plummet downward…. And see Kaze’s shoulder touch just before Mental’s right arm. Just as the they tell Funyon what to say, the EMTs take an unconscious Mental off Kaze to reveal his now swelling left knee. The camera picks up a “Jesus Christ…” from one of the EMTs as they put Mental on one stretcher and pick Kaze up and put him on another. “After a referee’s review, the winner of the match is……. KA… MA… KAZEEE!!!!!” The crowd pops big as “I Stand Alone” plays the unconscious hero out.

“What an amazing match between these two.” Axis solemnly says. “Hopefully we’ll find out whether these two will be ready to wrestle next week. Please, stay tuned for more heart-stopping action on SJL Crimson!”

Fade to Commericals….

September 16, 2002

Backstage, Thor is standing in the hallway outside of what used to be Todd Gordon’s office when he served as ECW commissioner. Ben Hardy is nowhere to be seen; perhaps he is being beat down by a bad guy or was given a swirly by some of the boys. It’s just Thor, Gus and his camera and a microphone. Gus cues Thor to begin “Ok Thor, go ahead.”

Thor raises the mic slowly to his face; his eyes are thick with thought. “The ECW arena. I wonder how many interviews have been filmed in this hallway. Countless careers have been made... and crushed... in this dilapidated bingo hall. Hundreds of wrestlers, some doing everything in their power to end their careers on top, sacrificing all care for themselves or their families... waiting to die?” Thor pauses thinking hard. “Others just starting their careers, their long journey down the painful and winding road of wrestling. Pity to those who started in ECW. In any other league they could have started off their new jobs with simple singles matches, or some light tag team action. Not here.

You see in ECW young men and women would have their first match, with tables, with ladders, with steel chairs, even with Singapore Canes. In their first match, they would shed blood. It baffles me how anyone could remain in the business after suffering like that so early in the dawn of their career. I have drawn the conclusion how these men and women could put their bodies on the line in this place night after night with such little incentive. It takes heart. It takes a love of the business. It takes a mighty will and a determination little seen amongst most mortals in this day and age. But first, they have to have a match.”

Thor gazes down the hall, recognizing many familiar sights from the ECW heyday. He stops and chuckles. “The first match is oft the most difficult challenge a young-blood may face. In ECW they were truly put to the test early on, they fought against men who had been in the business for years and years, only now finding a home in the hallowed halls of the ECW arena. Many men have participated in what are generally referred to as the most brutal matches on the planet. Legends like Terry Funk and Cactus Jack. Some of the soundest technical wrestlers known to man like Taz and Shane Douglas. And some of the most innovative hardcore wrestlers ever like Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman.

These men bled countless pints of blood, spread from one end of this place to the other. Spilled their own and each others blood all around the locker room and the hallways. ‘Tis surprising that the halls are not pink from the blood lost. These men who hath risked life and limb nightly, with little to no incentive for them to continue... are true warriors. Earned their place amongst the honored few in the sport many times over. Though I am troubled... I wish to follow in their footsteps but I fear that e’en I, a god, cannot.”

Thor hangs his head for a moment, obviously pained at the words that just passed through his lips. He speaks with his head still hanging down, his red hair blocking view of his face. “Hear my word mortals, for they are difficult enow to say once. All these great men achieved greatness through the risk of own bodies, with this I have no problem sharing that noble trait. But they also earned their place through the usage of weapons, and ‘tis this place where I am lacking efficiency. For the tenure of my career I figured that using weapons was a shortcut to actual skill. I have e’en partaken in several no holds barred type matches, never once using a weapon. Instead I tried to use the environment to my advantage; this worked for a time...

But here in the ECW arena, in a tables, ladders, chairs, and canes match, the odds are certainly stacked against me. If I am e'en able to attempt to keep pace with the likes of Fugue, I had better reconsider my previous ideals. For this match, my pride must be checked at the door and the God of Thunder will have to break from the norm to do any and every thing to get the win tonight.”

Thor pauses...

“For as they say...

‘When in Rome...’”

September 16, 2002

Axis: Wow, what an... unusual night it has already been. We’ve already seen a triple threat match with Jack the Ripper taking on Cutthroat *stifled laugh* and Eijiro Fasaki, the man who likes to wrestle. Yet another new superstar in Johnny “The Barracuda” Dangerous made his debut tonight facing the skateboarding rookie Blank. Matt Myers took on the t-shirt selling Leon Sharpe for the European title and what about that last match?

Edwin: That was one heck of a Cage and Gavel match! I’d say the best one we’ve ever had in the SJL. Judge Mental and Kamikaze battling each other for supremacy in the first of our trademark ECW style gimmick matches. The former ECW faithful have certainly made us feel at home tonight in beautiful Philly! *an impatient “WE WANT BLOOD!!” chant fills the thick air of the ECW “arena”*

King: Lucky for us, we get to call the match from the booth, as there isn’t an announcers’ table at ringside. If there were we could have been killed by the crowd during the first match!

Edwin: What are you worried about King? You don’t even attempt to call the match!

King: Good point. How do you feel about that Funyon?

In the ring, Funyon stands with a worried look on his face. He has to announce this just right so he isn’t eaten alive by the swarming ECW fans. Funyon speaks, a little unsure of himself “Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall and is a tables... ladders... chairs... and canes match! Introducing first... he hails from Harrison, Illinois, he weighs in at two hundred and thirty seven pounds... he is ‘The Amazin One’ MIKE... VAN... SIIIIIIICLEEEEEN!!”

The crowd cheers for MVS as “I Shut ‘Em Down” by LL Cool J begins to play over the always quiet ECW “arena's” speakers. No fancy pyro tonight as the fire marshal long ago declared that pyro was unsuitable for the tightly packed ECW “arena”. MVS steps through the curtain and is met with some surprisingly passive cheers. Van Siclen is unaffected by the meager applause, crowd support is crowd support in his book. He struts down the cramped “entranceway” and gets in the ring.

Edwin: MVS is a big time face, why aren’t the SJL fans cheering for him like they usually do?

Axis: Because these AREN’T SJL fans. Edwin, you’ve seen ECW tapes correct? Maybe even attended a few matches here. Tell me, do some of these fans look familiar?

Edwin looks around at the crowd. He looks down at the ring through a pair of opera glasses and his eyes grow wider as his head turns. Sure enough there are many familiar faces in the crowd. The guy with the crutch, that one guy with the long black hair and beard with dark glasses, the guy with the straw hat and Hawaiian shirt on. Even sign guy is in attendance.

Edwin: Dear GOD!! Its true, the ECW faithful have forced our SJL fans out of the building! I’m going to put a stop to this right now! *Edwin leaves his seat and exits through the door of the booth*

King: Alright, you do that. *snickers*

Funyon pipes up again “And his partner...” Before Funyon can even give the next wrestler’s stats the fans erupt in cheers, almost shaking the bingo hall. Funyon tries again “He hails from...” The crowd drowns him out. His ire raised, Funyon tries again “Weighing in at...” The capacity crowd once again drown out the ring announcer. Disheartened he tries once more in vain “... a member...” It is of no use; Funyon simply gives up “Fugue.”

The crowd swells the sweatbox with cheers as the hometown boy steps through the curtain. Fugue sort of breaks from character and gives a puzzled look to the crowd as if to say “Hey, don’t cheer me, I’m the bad guy!” his bewilderment quickly fades and his usual creepy grin returns. Fugue quickly rolls in the ring and heads straight for MVS, who is prepared with a mic. “Hey Tony, I left the sWo because of Mak, not you. That said, let’s put aside our differences and win us a match.” Mike drops the mic and extends his hand in friendship to the maniacal musician. Fugue looks at it, then Mike’s face... and shakes his hand.

Axis: Ahh, I was wondering how the relationship between these two was going to come into play in the match. It seems we have a truce between the former stablemates.

Suddenly Edwin breaks into the booth and slams the door behind him, bracing it with his back and arms. His clothes are torn and he looks like he’s just seen a ghost. Edwin is breathing heavily and he keeps looking from side to side. Finally he takes his seat and puts on his headset. After a long pause The Suicide king pipes up.

King: Well?

Edwin: Yeah... I took care of it.

King: Did you now?

Edwin: Yep! I guess money is money, no matter who’s paying for the seats. Hehe...

Axis: So... why are your clothes torn?

Edwin: I was... shaving...

King: You were shaving?

Edwin: Yes.

Axis: And that’s why your clothes are torn?

King: Pathetic...

Funyon is a tad saddened when he does his next bit of announcing. “And their first opponent. He weighs in at three hundred and forty five pounds... he is the God of Thunder... THOOOOR!!” With that Kiss “God of Thunder” begins to play where the lyrics kick in and Thor steps through the curtain to a smattering of applause. Thor also looks at the crowd, confused as Hel, wondering why he isn’t receiving his traditional reaction. He walks down the aisle and attempts to slap hands with the fans, unfortunately his hands are greeted only with air. He looks at the crowd but they look like starving dogs eyeing up a steak.

Thor continues his walk to the ring and steps over the top rope. He stands in the ring, almost moping but he slowly shrugs it off and hands over his hammer and cape to some official at ringside. Funyon once again speaks this time his voice steady and sure “And his partner, he hails from Limerick, Ireland... weighing in at one hundred and sixty eight pounds... TIM DILLOOOON!!” With that “Barroom Hero” by the Dropkick Murphy’s begins to spice up the crowd and Dillon himself steps through the curtain only to be greeted by his music and a couple people coughing. The Irishman looks around a tad dissatisfied, he then shakes his head and walks back through the curtain.

King: What does that scrawny little leprechaun think he’s doing?

Axis: Well, Tim Dillon apparently didn’t like the reaction he got from the crowd so he apparently just left.

All the wrestlers in the ring are as confused as everyone else as they stare at the curtain. Suddenly Dillon comes back through the curtain wearing his ravishing smile and carrying two six packs of Guinness beer and proceeds to toss them to the crowd, prompting cheers from the ECW fans. Satisfied with the crowd reaction, he tosses the remaining brews to the crowd and walks to the ring. When he gets to the ring Thor gives him a high five and Fugue and MVS charge forward attacking the northern European duo.

DING!! DING!! DING!!

Fugue and Mike work coherently as a team for a moment before the opposing side begins to battle back. Dillon strikes MVS with several hard right jabs to the jaw while Thor punches Fugue in the face and then grabs him by his shaggy mane and headbutts him to the mat. At the same time, Tim Dillon spins around and knocks Van Siclen down with a hard right. The crowd cheers at the display of teamwork but Tim Dillon is quick to take advantage of the stipulations of the match. He slides backwards out of the ring and reaches under the apron and pulls out a chair which he holds high above his head.

Axis: And Tim Dillon is quick to go for a weapon to try and give the advantage to his team early on.

King: Hey, when you cant get suspended or fined for it, go ahead!

Edwin: Let’s see what nifty tricks the emerald warrior can do with the chair.

While Dillon is getting the chair, Thor unwisely turns his back on his opponents and pays the price as Van Siclen and Fugue both get up and start to clobber Thor with multiple forearms to the back. Mike and Fugue each grab an arm and whip Thor into the ropes, but Tim, seeing that his partner is in trouble, throws his chair at the back of Mike’s head. MVS falls to the mat, causing Fugue to turn and look at what just happened and allowing Thor to bounce off the ropes and clothesline him over the top to the outside. The crowd cheers a bit louder for the hardcore element beginning to take effect.

Outside, Dillon reaches under the apron and removes two Singapore canes. Dillon tries to play to the crowd more by holding them above his head, but his dawdling costs him. Fugue kicks Dillon around as he turns and grabs a Singapore cane from his hand. Fugue rears back and swings hard, but Dillon blocks the shot with his Singapore cane. Fugue is caught off guard and gets planted by a firm shot with the cane by Tim. Fugue takes only one step back and raises his head again with his wicked smile blazing.

Axis: Wow, Fugue just took a shot to the head from Dillon’s Singapore cane and he's still standing.

Edwin: Well, we’ve seen him take some tremendous punishment before, but even Fugue will be tested in a match like this.

King: Bah, this will be nothing at all for Fugue. He could win a match like this while he’s sleeping.

At the same time as Fugue and Dillon were dueling, in the ring Thor and MVS were going at it as well. After clotheslining Fugue out of the ring, MVS stands up behind Thor. “The Amazin’ One” grabs Thor from behind as if going for a German suplex but Thor fights it. He pushes all of his weight backwards, using his three hundred and forty five pounds to crush MVS. Thor then gets up from the fall quickly and bounces off the ropes slowly and drops a quick elbow on MVS.

After he swung his cane into Fugue’s head with no effect, Tim Dillon has little choice but to try again. He swings once more at Fugue but Fugue ducks the shot, charges forward and catches Dillon with a shot of his own as he turns around. Dillon goes down, but much to Fugue’s surprise, he gets right back up. Fugue looks at the Irishman and nods, as if to say “Not bad.”. Dillon obviously takes that as a compliment as he drills Fugue in the gut with the end of his cane and then brings it upward attempting to smash in Fugue’s face but Fugue lifts his head up and backs off, allowing Tim’s cane to go flying back into his face.

Axis: Tim getting a tad too friendly with the hardcore environment as his Singapore cane went flying back into his own face.

King: A rookie mistake. This kid’s as green as those cute little shamrocks he’s got painted on his pants.

Edwin: I suppose we’ll just have to see if the luck o’ the Irish will ring true for Tim Dillon.

King: Ughh, give me a break!

Edwin promptly breaks off a piece of his Kit Kat Bar and hands it to King.

Thor bails out of the ring and walks over to his partner after disposing of MVS. He approaches Tim and Fugue as Tim smashes the cane into his own face. Dillon is bent over holding his face, his back wide open for the attack. Fugue raises his cane high in the air, preparing to strike down hard upon Dillon’s back but Thor wraps his huge arms around Fugue and lifts him up in the air in a reverse bearhug. Thor squeezes away at Fugue, but his high threshold for pain allows him to back elbow Thor in the head, trying to break himself free.

Fugue stuns Thor, causing the big man to set him down but suddenly MVS comes flying over the top rope like a cruise missile, attempting to break up Thor’s bearhug but a moment too late. Fugue took the brunt of Van Siclen’s aerial attack, with his legs only barely hitting Thor. Thor stumbles backwards and rests himself on the steel guardrail with the rabid fans slapping him. Both MVS and Fugue get up and look at each other accusingly. Van Siclen shouting about how he had the move scouted and Fugue about how Mike should be careful.

Axis: Uh oh, it seems we may have some dissention between Fugue and Mike Van Siclen.

Edwin: Well it was a shaky relationship to begin with. I personally don’t think that these two will last much longer as a team.

King: What are you talking about? These two are a great team... just as long as that pushy MVS can watch where he’s going and doesn’t get in Fugue’s way.

The argument is short lived however as both men sort of just throw their differences aside and work together to reach under the ring to pull out a table. The crowd cheers louder than when Dillon tossed them beer. The teammates set up the table and turn around, only to have Fugue caught by a big boot from Thor and Van Siclen taken down by a cane shot from Dillon. Dillon tosses the cane to the side and he and Thor lay both Fugue and Mike on the table next to each other. Dillon then points to the turnbuckle and causes the crowd to cheer. Thor goes to the other side of the ring and busies himself with something else.

Dillon climbs in the ring and goes to the top rope. He does a quick jig on the turnbuckle, an amazing display of balance and then leaps off in a shooting star press. His skinny frame moves swiftly through the air as he soars to the table below. Except that’s all he hits is table as the team of MVS and Fugue rolled out of the way just in time. The crowd cheers for nothing more than sheer mayhem as Dillon crashes through the table. Thor then charges over, done with what he was doing on the other side and clotheslines both men to the ground. Thor then uses his strength to lift Fugue up and toss him back into the ring.

Edwin: Tim Dillon misses the shooting star press on both MVS and Fugue and comes crashing through the table onto the cold, hard concrete below.

Axis: These fans are really starting to worry me Edwin. They cheered AFTER Dillon crashed through the table. Your generally supposed to cheer for the good guy after he successfully completes his move.

King: Not in ECW Axis.

Axis: But this isn’t ECW King, it’s the SJL.

King: Tell that to the audience members!

Thor steps in the ring after tossing Fugue in and proceeds to set his plan in motion. While Dillon was attempting his Shooting Star Press, Thor removed a ladder from underneath the ring and wedged it vertically between the ring ropes. Thor takes the initiative and grabs Fugue by the hair to help him up. He then whips him hard into the ropes opposite the ladder. Fugue gains his senses for a moment and rolls over Thor’s bent over body. After completing the roll, Fugue continues to charge forward and smashes into the ladder.

The crowd actually lets out an “OOH!!”, finally starting to get into the match. Thor stands up and does his double-armed flex for the crowd who do not respond very warmly. To the shock of the crowd, Fugue simply shrugs off being whipped into the ladder and dropkicks Thor, causing him to fall face first to the mat. Fugue then sees an opening and goes for it as he quickly throws on a Fujiwara armbar. The crowd boos at the actual wrestling move being used in a match specifically made for eliminating the need for actual ability.

King: There you go Fugue, never let those worthless slugs called fans get any enjoyment out of your matches.

Edwin: Well you may have convinced yourself of that by now Kingy, but we all knew that no one enjoyed your matches because you sucked.

Axis: Now, now children.

Tim Dillon and Mike Van Siclen have been trading punches for a few moments and suddenly Tim gets a new energy as he begins to hammer back with those bare-knuckle skills coming back to him as he makes MVS feel the Irish Fury as Dillon begins to fire right after left at the head and midsection of Mike Van Siclen. Mike is dazed for a moment, enough time allowing Tim Dillon to show his fancy footwork in an Irish jig, before laying out Van Siclen with a clothesline.

Dillon sees that Thor is in trouble with Fugue’s Fujiwara armbar and leaps in the ring. He breaks up the showcase of wrestling skill with a swift boot to the head. Fugue gets up quickly, irate that someone disrupted his hold, and clobbers Dillon with a firm right jab. He then takes the Irishman off guard and whips him onto the ropes. Fugue bounces off the opposing ropes and in a startling display of athleticism, leaps in the air, cutting a flip, Fugue holds on to Tim’s chin and allows his momentum to reverse Dillon’s and they land in a neckbreaker. The crowd busts out an “ECW!! ECW!!” chant, complimenting the innovation of Fugue.

Axis: WOW!! Fugue pulled that move from nowhere! Fugue whips Dillon into the ropes and comes back with what could best be described as a flipping neckbreaker. That to me was unbelievable.

Edwin: Fugue has some marvelous innovative skills in his demented bag of tricks. That is how he won the TV and the European titles.

King: For once we are in agreement. Fugue is one of the most talented players in the SJL. Right up there with Mak Francis and Matt Myers! Now if he could just learn how to cheat...

Fugue rolls over and makes the cover on Tim Dillon.

1

.

2

.

Tim Dillon kicks out at two and a half. The highly enthusiastic crowd is quickly quieted by Thor charging in and lifting Fugue high above his head in an effortless Gorilla Press. He turns to one side of the arena and presses Fugue in the air once... twice... he attempts a third try but Mike Van Siclen grabs Thor’s legs and yanks them forward, causing Thor to fall with Fugue on top of him. Fugue hooks the leg as they hit the mat.

1

.

2

Thor kicks out of the unexpected move. MVS goes under the ring and grabs a chair and a Singapore cane and tosses them inside the ring. MVS slides in the ring and grabs the cane and quickly smashes Tim Dillon in the head with his weapon. Dillon bends over from the pain and Van Siclen attempts to hit him across the back but instead catches Fugue in the face with his cane. Mike turns around to see Fugue holding his face and he suddenly knows something is wrong.

Axis: I don’t like the looks of this. Mike Van Siclen and Fugue were on shaky terms before but now I’m not so sure how their partnership will last.

King: Damn you Van Siclen! You ruin EVERYTHING!!

Fugue is obviously pissed off and he lets Mike Van Siclen know by pushing him. Now MVS may have been at fault, but when has he ever been one to admit it? He gets right back in Fugue’s face and pushes him right back. Fugue looks to the side and then pushes Mike Van Siclen back even harder. While the shoving match is going on, Tim Dillon is still bent over, he faced contorted in anticipation of the devastating cane shot across his back... which never comes. He looks up with one eye and sees Fugue and MVS arguing.

When Fugue pushes MVS back even harder, Dillon is there to capitalize with a schoolboy rollup out of nowhere.

1

.

2

.

Mike Van Siclen just barely kicks out. Thor has gotten up and he quickly charges at Fugue, knocking him down with what could best be described as a shoulder block. Fugue is knocked through the ropes to the outside and Thor then turns his focus to Mike Van Siclen. As he gets up he turns around in a slow circle and is greeted only by Thor’s large fist into the middle of his chest.

Edwin: I knew that MVS and Fugue couldn’t co-exist long. Their egos are just too big to be on the same team, let alone in the same stable.

Axis: Tim Dillon saw the opening and got two and three quarters of a count, and did you see that heart punch?

King: I saw it.

Axis is confused at King’s answer to his rhetorical question: And...?

King: It sucked.

Axis: How did I not see that coming?

King: I don’t know.

Axis: That was another rhetorical question you dolt.

Edwin: You’re both Yo-yos. Shut up ya Yo-yos.

Mike Van Siclen stumbles back, gasping for breath after that brutal heart punch. Thor kicks MVS in the gut and then hoists him high in the air with a stalling suplex. The ample strength of Thor is well displayed as Thor walks around the ring with Mike Van Siclen held high in the air. MVS starts to struggle and Thor is in a bad position where he cannot reverse it into any move so he has no choice but to stumble back into the ropes and release him to the outside.

After being knocked out, Fugue decided to have a little fun with the wild stipulation of the match and he pulled from under the ring two objects. A ladder and a table. He set the table up to the right of the ring and the ladder to the left, planning out some brutally crazy series of moves to secure the win for his team. Well... maybe not so much for his team any more, more so just for himself. But Fugue’s plan backfired as much to his chagrin, MVS was released to the outside from Thor’s stalling suplex through Fugue’s table. Fugue is visibly upset at the whole thing and he decides to simply take the match back to the ring.

Edwin: Fugue’s plan was shattered by Thor and Mike Van Siclen.

Axis: Fugue had that table set up to do God knows what and I’m going to have to say thankfully Thor put Mike Van Siclen through the table.

King: Thankfully? Why Fugue could have had something planned out to where he could have successfully ended the match but NOOOOOOO!! You’ve got to cream in your pants for the man who directly led to more mayhem down there and the further possibility of everyone else getting more injured than they already are! You fat, selfish bastard!

Axis is speechless.

In the ring, Fugue picks up the steel chair that Mike Van Siclen tossed in the ring. He then spies Thor leaning against the turnbuckle and charges at him with the chair. Fugue tees off Thor’s skull and expects him to go down. He turns around with the chair held high, the crowd still kind of cheering for him. The crowd’s praise of the mad musician is silenced by Thor who effectively no-sold the chair shot and spins Fugue around, locking his massive hand around Fugue’s throat. Thor fails to realize, however, that Fugue still has the chair in hand and while he is being hoisted up, Fugue smashes the steel into Thor’s skull again.

Thor drops Fugue and stumbles back, Fugue is now incensed that he cant put Thor down. His grin becomes slightly more sadistic as he once again crashes the chair against Thor’s head, bringing him to one knee. The look on Fugue’s face is priceless, it is disbelief and anger all rolled up into one. Fugue then climbs up to the top rope and leaps off with the chair held beneath his feet. The modified dropkick smashes into the back of Thor’s skull with a sickening thud. Thor finally falls forward and Fugue looks pleased, his expression basically saying “No-sell THAT!!”. Fugue, not quite satisfied with his work, reaches over the ropes and grabs the ladder he had set up from earlier.

Edwin: What does Fugue think he’s doing? He hit Thor in the head FOUR times with a damned chair! Don’t you think you’ve done enough?!

Axis: It seems as though Fugue is going to finish the match his way.

King: WHOOO!! Go Fugue GO!!

Fugue hauls the ladder in the middle of the ring and begins to climb. What he doesn’t realize is that Tim Dillon has rolled out of the ring and gotten himself a steel chair. By the time Fugue reaches the top, Dillon is back in the ring and is climbing up the ladder along with his chair. At the top of the ladder Fugue stands, perhaps preparing for his Grand Finale but Dillon has other plans as he delivers an incredibly stiff chair shot right to the face of Fugue, breaking his nose.

Fugue is dizzy but still with it as Dillon throws the chair into the first row of the audience. He then climbs all the way to the top of the ladder and turns Fugue around. Both men are standing shakily on the top of the ladder as Dillon lifts up Fugue and dives backwards off the top of the ten foot ladder in Dillon‘s “Blood and Whiskey”. They crash to the mat in a crumpled heap of humanity while the crowd chants “HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!”. Both competitors lay unmoving in the ring as the crowd continues their chant. Suddenly, Dillon’s arm shoots up and then falls back down... over Fugue’s chest.

1

Edwin: Dillon hit the “Blood and Whiskey” from the top of the ladder!

2

King: FUGUE, KICK OUT!!

3

DING!! DING!! DING!!

Funyon speaks from his ringside seat “Here are your winners... THOR and TIM DILLOOOON!!” The crowd cheers loudly, not as loud as loud as they should but respective applause for one hell of a match. Thor and Dillon get up at about the same time, they stand slowly but are brought quickly to their feet by the referee who holds their arms up signifying their victory. The two wrestlers exchange a quick, manly hug before going to different parts of the ring with their hands raised proudly in the air.

Dillon’s bagpipe music theme song plays as the two wrestlers exit the ring and walk to the back side by side. They stop midway through the aisle and look at the fans and then each other. They hold out their hands and after watching them compete, the ECW faithful actually slap hands with the battle hardened grapplers. They step through the curtain and the music fades from the speakers.

Edwin: WOW!! That was one hell of a match. Thor and Tim Dillon pick up the win over Mike Van Siclen and Fugue. Stay tuned for more SJL Crimson action live from the ECW “arena” after these commercial messages!

Axis: Wait Edwin! Look in the ring.

Fugue is now standing and is not in a pleasant mood as he paces about the ring, smashing his fist into his hand and even stopping to repeatedly pummel the turnbuckle with his arm. Mike Van Siclen slowly rolls in the ring and helps himself up using the ropes for leverage and then looks across the ring at Fugue. Fugue’s icy stare isn’t exactly what MVS wanted to see when he got back in the ring but it is soon replaced by Fugue’s normal grin. Van Siclen looks a little less worried when he sees Fugue’s normal expression.

Fugue’s grin grows wider and more sinister the closer he walks to MVS. Fugue then swiftly punches MVS and then takes him down with the Coda. The crowd cheers for the hometown boy as he follows up his attack with the Harmony. Mike Van Siclen is heard screaming but his screams of pain are barely audible over the cheers of the sick ECW crowd and the devilish laughter of Fugue. Several officials try to remove Fugue from Mike Van Siclen but with little success. Fugue’s maniacal laughter rings through the dilapidated bingo hall.

The screen is shut off, replaced by a commercial hawking some SJL merchandise.

September 16, 2002

Back from commercial, another exciting edition of SJL Crimson is winding down, but noone in the arena seems to mind, as the time has finally come for the main event. Fans are leaping up into the air, many of the excited Philly fans waving signs in the air, although oddly enough, all of them seem to say ‘E-C-F’n-Dub!’, or a variation thereon. Hmmm. And, again, quite oddly, both sides of the arena seem to be engaged in dueling chants, though neither really makes any sense.

“You fucked up!”

“Show your tits!”

”You fucked up!”

“Show your tits!’

The cameras cut to the announce table, where Edwin seems confused, King seems disgusted, and Axis just stares in openmouthed shock. After a few moments, and a loud cough from King, Axis realizes he is on, and turns towards the camera. “Hello, ladies, gentleman, and whatever you would call hardcore ECW fans. It’s been a fantastic night so far, and we’ve come to the proverbial cherry on top of our crimson Sundae, with a tag team main event to blow the roof off this place. Or maybe it’ll just collapse. I don’t think this arena is up to code.”

King sighs, and reaches across in front of Axis to punch Edwin in the arm.

“Who’re they even chanting at, I mean…. OW! King!”

“Ummm… punch buggy?”

“Oh? IN an arena, where?”

King points, and the cameras turn to a sea of fans, most of whom are waving foreign objects of every make and model, including, for NO good reason, a pack of fans holding up the frame to a blue Volkswagen Beetle.

King and Edwin both speak up at the same time, even their tones matching almost exactly. “WHY did I/you book this arena again?”

Axis coughs, and smiles nervously. “Nevermind that, we have a main event, and then we can get OUT of here before Joey Styles tries to scream in my ear again.”

King shakes his head. “And Elektra tries to get naked for me. Ugh.”

Edwin nods his head. “And before that New Jack guy tries to tell me the table story again.”

All three announcers are left hanging their heads in shame, and the cameras cut to the video screen, sound flickering and buzzing for a moment. Finally, the technicians seem to get it working properly, and ‘Ashes in the Fall’ starts playing. Funyon steps into middle ring, clearing his throat. “Ladies and gentleman, introducing first, they represent the sWo, ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins, and the leaser of the sWo, ‘The Franchise’…” Here, the fans erupt with cheers, until Jenkins and Francis step onto the stage, and Funyon finishes his announcement. “… Mak Francis!”

“WHO!?!?”

Edwin holds back a snicker, while Mak and Spike indignantly shrug off their long leather jackets, making their way down to the ring and sliding in under the bottom ropes. The screen lights up once more, thistime showing a flowing Canadian flag, in grainy black and white, shot flickering and being interspersed with shots of two faces, ‘Snap your fingers, Snap your neck’ by prong playing through the arena as pulsing red strobe lights flash through the arena.

And, their opponents, Manson, and the SJL World Heavyweight Champion, CIA!”

Manson emerges from the backstage, halting on stage and standing in a crucifix pose, soaking in the cheers of the fans. A few moments later, CIA comes rushing out from the backstage, rushing straight at the back of Manson. Manson remains unmoving, and CIA leaps into the air, planting his hands on the shoulders of his tag team partner, and leap frogging over him through the air. Landing on stage in front of Manson, CIA extends his own hands out to the sides, Canadian flags dangling. The fans cheer again, and finally, CIA and Manson remove their own leather jackets, letting them drop off to the sides of the ramp as they make their way towards the ring, side by side. Francis and Jenkins wait impatiently, as both men stop before reaching the ring, posing a bit more.

The fans chant, and CIA and Manson take a moment to stare in shock at the Volkswagen frame still being passed around the audience. Finally, both men shrug, and turn to slide into the ring under the bottom rope, only to have their opponents rush in and assault them with kicks to the back. With both sWo men smiling like the cat who swallowed the canary, Mak leans down and pulls Manson up to his feet, Spike doing the same to CIA. Simultaneously, they whip the fan favorites across the ring, staying close to the ropes. CIA and Manson bound across the mat, bell ringing to officially get the match underway, the ‘good guys’ rebounding off the ropes, and headed straight towards the waiting sWo. Mak Francis throws himself forward, slamming his forearm into the face of Manson,a nd taking him to the mat, and Spike rushes to do the same. Unfortunately, CIA pushes off the mat, turning his body as he does so, and slamming into the SJL’s resident stoner with a cross body, tumbling both of them back over the top rope and to the outside.

“Woah! This match is just underway, and already our world champ takes one of his opponents to the outside, no doubt intending to make use of the no DQ stipulation.”

King is almost incredulous, and he shakes his head. “No, that’s…. that’s a HEEL trick.”

Edwin smiles, shaking his head. “Not in this arena it’s not, King. Hey, NOW I remember why I booked the show here.”

This time, Mak and CIA move at almost the same time, picking up their downed opponents, all four men beginning to exchange punches. The raucous four all trace stiff punches, in and out of the ring, and CIA, back to the stage, throws up his hand to stop a punch from Spike Jnekins, but stops his arm in mid motion, instead allowing the punch to impact his jaw, spinning him away and stumbling over towards the stage. Jenkins smiles and follows, rushing towards the Canadian, and leaping into the air. Moving quickly, CIA spins out of the way, allowing the high flier to land on his feet, and, completing his spin, slams his elbow into the back of Spike’s head as he lands, making Jenkins stumble over towards the top of the ramp. This time, the Canadian is the one rushing forward, but Jenkins spins in place, and meets him, both men trading furious punches as they move through the entryway.

C.I.A. and Spike Jenkins battle their way to the back, as Mak watches on from inside the ring, leaving just himself and Manson inside the squared circle. His attentions diverted, he feels a blow, a forearm shot to be exact, strike down upon the back of his neck. He stumbles forward to catch the ropes, slightly dazed, as Manson capitalizes on the distraction. Manson comes down with an elbow this time around, driving the point into the base of Mak's neck as a cameraman rushes backstage to hopefully catch up to CIA and Spike.

Axis is quick to jump back on the action, narrating Manson’s strategy. “Manson using the diversion to an advantage early on, catching "The Franchise" off guard."

Mak Francis stands, arms stretched across the top rope, facing the misfit, the lone gun of the SJL, Manson in the eye. With his opportunity firmly in hand, Manson takes the arm of Francis in his grip, and applies an Arm Wringer, attempting to twist the shoulder out of it's socket. The philadelphia mutants eat it up, anticipating that Manson will have the chance to put on a clinic along with Francis, and that this is only the beginning. With the arm of Francis stretched and bent in ways it isn't meant to bend, Manson further puts pain onto the arm with a driving shoulder block, straight into Mak's shoulder joint.

”Manson, getting to work early on the arm of Mak Francis,” States Axis “his plan of attack for this evening's contest, or so it would seem.

King agrees, allowing some grudging respect to show through for Manson. ”Very sound in the ring, Manson is, and always has been… Perhaps trying to take away the means for Mak's impactful Fisherman's Buster, which Mak has dubbed the "Franchise Tag."

Edwin, surprisingly, speaks up for the champ. ”No doubt that's his aim tonight. But Mak has many a different ways to take you out, the Fisherman's Buster is just one of those attacks that can do it."

Francis lets out a small howl in pain, and the crowd heats up a bit, as Manson takes Francis over and tries a pin, going so far as to keep the arm trapped as he does…

Axis excitedly announces “Pin attempt!"

"One!"

”And a shoulder up after one…Manson tried to make it a little more difficult for Francis, as he kept a lock on the arm with a hold, when he pinned the shoulders to the mat."

Edwin is quick to point out, “A sound technique, as it makes it that much harder to kick out or get a shoulder up."

Manson leaps up to his feet, and drops with an elbow to the chest of Mak Francis, before pulling him up off the mat and forcing him up against the ropes. Manson wraps the arm once again, going for another Arm Wringer, but Francis outthinks Manson this time around, and flips out of it with cat-like agility, performing a roll into a quick headstand and reversal into an Arm Wringer of his own. The Philadelphia native Francis, brings the point of his elbow first down into the neck of Manson, then into the Shoulder. Manson drops to a knee, and Francis keeps the Wringer applied, but Manson rolls into a brief headstand and reversal into an Arm Drag, tossing Mak Francis clean across the ring. Mak shoots up to his feet surprised, but amused, as the Philly crowd cheers the opening sequence.

As talkative as ever, Axis continues his running commentary. “A nice feeling out sequence here to start things off. And it should be noted that Manson and Mak have never faced each other, despite Manson's much repeated claims that he'll be the one to kill off the sWo. But he didn't fare so well on SJL Wrath against Flunkmasta Flexxx, but that's a story for a different day."

King nods, chuckling a bit at the thought of Manson destroying the sWo. “That would be correct. The two men you're seeing in the ring right now, both whose tag partners are missing in action somewhere backstage, are definitely new to each other, and are not wary of each other's tricks as of yet. One could go so far as to make the claim that Francis just happens to be in the crossfire between Manson and his true targets, Flexxx and Matt Myers. But if Manson feels that he has to get through to them by any means necessary, then Francis is willing to bring the fight to Manson and teach him a stern lesson."

Mak Francis claps in approval, offering a handshake, uncharacteristic of him, as Manson looks towards him with a blank expression on his face, as if he wasn't buying it. With the crowd's applause dying down, Francis rushes out of the corner, and Manson does the same. They both lock up in a Collar and Elbow Tie-Up.

Axis speaks up, his voice a bit suspicious. “Manson wasn't buying what Francis was selling, and here they go into the Tie-Up."

King reacts indignantly, supporting ‘The Franchise’. “Well, that's really unsportsmanlike of Manson. Mak offers one gesture of good will, and it's practically spat upon."

”Give it a rest, he knows Francis doesn't play fair,” Rebuts Edwin, “in spite of never facing off against him before. For all we know, Francis would've kicked him in the nuts and called his mother a hamster."

Confused, King waits a moment, before replying to Edwin. “Mak isn't French…"

Manson and Francis battle and struggle for an advantage, but the two competitors are too evenly matched, and neither one of them give an inch. The two give a clean break, but rush each other once again, trying for the Tie-Up still. For a moment, there's no clear advantage, that is until Mak Francis brings a knee up and catches Manson square in the lower abdomen. Manson takes a knee once again, and Francis bends down behind him, wrapping his arms around the head and placing him in a Sleeper Hold.

"Mak, trying to wear Manson down with the Sleeper, coming off the well-placed knee to the abdomen, perhaps catching him a bit low."

Mak with the transition into a Side Headlock, and Manson gets a hand behind Francis, pushing him off toward the ring ropes. Francis springs off, and Manson telegraphs for a Back Body Drop. But Francis, quick on the draw, lets loose with a hard Clothesline on Manson, knocking him to the canvas. Francis goes for a cover.

Axis’ tempo rises quite bit as he leans forward in his seat, crying out. "My God, did you hear the impact on that Clothesline!"

"One!"

"Tw--"

”Manson, with a kick out!"

Manson sits, with eyes glazed over, as Francis brings a leg up and strikes with a kick to the back of Manson. Manson cringes in pain, and Mak yanks him up by his long, jet black hair, immediately taking it to Manson with a Knifeedge "WOOO" Chop. Manson clutches his chest, as Mak wraps the free arm of Manson and sends him towards the ropes. Manson springs off, and Francis tries for another Clothesline on the bounce, dodged as Manson ducks under the right arm of Mak. In a smooth transition, Manson grabs the outstretched right arm of Mak Francis with his left, and brings it behind his back. He supports the other arm, with his right. With Francis hooked up, Manson looks out towards the crowd and lifts Francis up. Before Francis knows it, Manson lands on the mat in a Sit-Out, whilst planting Mak Francis in front of himself, forcing the weight of Mak Francis to crash down onto his own arm!

Axis quickly interjects with his knowledgable commentary. “Ah yes, one of the trademarks of Manson, the Sit-Out Hammerlocked Drop, for lack of a better term. Mak Francis walked right into that one."

King sighs, and agrees. ”And again, this goes back to Manson's previous work on the arm of Mak Francis. The Sit-Out Drop adds damage to the previously worked-over shoulder and arm of Mak."

Edwin seems impressed as he speaks up to join his partners in preach. “A worthy maneuver, let's see Manson capitalize."

As if on cue, the Referee leaps down and counts the pin…

"One!"

"Tw--"

” Kickout at one and a half!"

Axis smiles, and taps Edwin on the shoulder. “I’ve got new that our cameraman has caught up to CIA and Spike Jenkins in the backstage. We’re going to go to that now.”

The cameras cut to the backstage area, where Spike Jenkins currently has CIA on the ropes, battering him about the face and head with a giant clear bag of popcorn, the Canadian’s knees buckling from the pain. Jenkins continues the brutality however, bringing the bag of popped kernels down again and again in a sickening display that causes the fans to boo in disgust at Jenkins’ despicable actions. Or maybe it’s just in disgust at the pitiful hardcore action going on.

Axis yells into his headset, rather shocked and dismayed. “My god! If Jenkins doesn’t stop, he may crush his skull with those lighter than air kernels of buttery goodness!”

King, on the other hand, seems about as impressed as a teenager at school. “It’s popcorn. I really don’t see the point in….”

Edwin shushes King, holding up a copy of Mick Foley’s books, Have a Nice Day and Foley is Good, bot havailable at your local bookstore. King ‘ohhhhs’, and shuts up.

In the backstage, Jenkins raises his bag of popcorn overhead, readying for the killing blow, only to have CIA lunge upwards, a sharp pointed object in his hands. The fans cheer the thought, but the piece of metal merely gouges open the popcorn bag, causing kernels to spill straight down onto Jenkin’s head. Each blow stumbles the mighty warrior, until finally he is buried under half the bag, falling backwards helplessly. The bag goes flying, and the camera watches as it ever so lightly falls over the shot, which quickly stumbles to the ground and fuzzes out.

“See, now GUS getting knocked out by popcorn I understand.”

Edwin laughs, and smiles. “Yeah, but you have to admit, it’s entertaining as anything.”

Axis chuckles, and nods his head, suddenly quite alert. “And in the ring, we’ve got some more action!”

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Manson and Mak rise up from the mat, and Mak favors his right shoulder, while leaving himself in a vulnerable position on the canvas. Manson, wanting to follow up on his plan, gives chase to Mak and practically makes clear in his eyes, his intentions to lock on one of his vaunted Armbars onto Francis. The ring general Mak Francis, aware of his surroundings, rolls out of the ring in retreat, not allowing Manson to get hold of him again and getting himself out of harms way.

King seems content with that, smacking his fist in his palm as he speaks. “That's the way, Mak. A smart move."

Edwin sighs, shaking his head. “An act of cowardice, in my eyes."

Francis circles a corner, and subsequently gets into an argument with the legendary ECW super-fans who made a habit of always attending ECW shows…and who just happened to be in attendance for tonight's SJL event. Manson still inside the ring becomes impatient, and opts to follow Mak Francis to he outside. Francis, leaning up against the apron now, is seemingly unaware of Manson steadily approaching from behind. As Manson reaches down into the ropes to pull Francis back into the ring, a one-armed Francis swings a hidden chair upwards, and clocks Manson with a perfect shot!

Axis winces, concern noticeable in his voice. “Manson just got absolutely rocked by a chair shot from Mak Francis! Normally, that'd be a DQ, but just remember that we're in the EC f'n W Arena tonight, and this match is a No-DQ contest, rightly so."

Edwin seems relatively non-plussed, an almost expectant tone in his voice. “Manson had the advantage, but Mak Francis pulls a trick out of his sleeve."

King, on the other hand, seems somewhat disdainful. “Pffft. It's clear that Manson has forgotten how to bend the rules, he should've seen that one coming."

Manson takes a fall to the mat, and Francis throws the chair down, rolling back into the ring. Mak, drops with a knee to the head of Manson, further exploiting the previous chair shot. He goes for a cover.

Axis announces the pin attempt once again. “Mak Francis, going for another pin!"

"One!"

"Two!"

"Kickout after Two!"

Getting to his feet, Mak stumbles over towards the corner for a moment, catching his breath. At the same moment, the big screen lights up with fuzz, and then, the shot is shown to be the backstage of the arena, Spike Jnekins and CIA both looking haggard, Spike sporting a large bruise over his eye.

“And it looks like our backstage cameras have caught up with CIA and Jenkins again!”

“Great! I wonder what they’ll do this time. Maybe they’ll use paneling.”

King sighs at Axis and Edwin, but shrugs. “Ah, hell, this earns me a paycheck.”

CIA and Jenkins are going at it, trading hard right hands, though both men have a chair clutched in their left. Back and forth, they trade blows, swinging with all the power they can muster, each monumental blow stumbling their foe backwards a step. Finally having enough, both men take their chairs firmly in their hands, and pull them up, overhead, igniting a roar in the crowd….

Which quickly dies down as they flip the chairs open, setting them down, and both tiredly taking a seat, breathing heavily. The fans continue to boo, and CIA and Spike both sigh, standing up from their chairs, and kicking the steel seating devices away, and wandering away from one another. The arena is quiet for a few moments as both men rummage about the arena, returning to the same camera shot, each one’s arms loaded up with weapons, which they set in a pile before themselves. After a few moments argument over who will let the other go first, it is finally decided Spike will, so he reaches into his stack of weapons, and pulls forth….

A box of pizza. The fans erupt with boos, and Spike brings the makeshift weapon down over CIA’s head, splattering the Canadian’s face with cheese and sauce as CIA’s knees shudder underneath him. Tossing the pizza box away, Spike looks towards CIA, awaiting the inevitable retaliation. Reaching up, CIA wipes a bit of the sauce off his head, licking the topping from his finger and nodding his head with delight. Turning away, the Canadian reaches into his stack of makeshift weapons, drawing forth his own first choice, Causing Spike to shudder in fear as he draws forth….. a stack of paper cup lids. Jenkins shakes his head, begging off from the terrible assault, But CIA throws the stack towards spike, each paper thin plastic disk causing Spike to rock back as though he’d been shot. The fans continue to boo, but apparently the two men are not over, as, after a few moments, Spike is on his feet once more.

King bangs his head on the announce table, very distraught at these horrid goings on. “This is an abomination to the very nature of pro wrestling. I cannot, in any good conscience…. OW! Edwin!”

“Punch buggy.”

“Why you… OW! AXIS!?”

”What? I didn’t do anything.”

“You just PUNCHED ME.”

”No, I didn’t. Ask Edwin.”

“AGGGGHHHH!!!!”

The miraculously risen Spike Jenkins reaches into his pile of weaponry once more, drawing forth a flat, square object in some kind of brown paper protective jacket. He swings the object, rather weakly, and it collides with the head of CIA, sending the Canadian flying backwards, body hitting the floor and then flipping over onto his tomach near the wall. Spike smiles and slides the object free to reveal a Leanord Cohen album, and gives the camera a cheesy thumbs up. The fans boo madly, but at this point, it doesn’t really matter, does it? Indeed, Spike rushes forward to assault CIA once more with the deadly vinyl disc, but the Canadian sits up, accidentally causing the rushing Spike to run knee first into him, sending his upper body back to the hard concrete. Spike stumbles forwards, and trips into the wall, bruised forehead colliding, and when he turns back, dazed, he is busted wide open, finally drawing a mild cheer from the assembled fans. Reaching out, Jenkins shoves away the cameraman, and the feed fizzles out once more.

King dances around his chair at the announce table, actually ecstatic. “Concrete bumps! Bleeding foreheads! Finally, things are right once more!”

Edwin laughs, unable to control himself. “And all by accident. WOW, that’s amazing. And uh…. Hardcore. E-C-Dub, folks. SW F’n F.”

Axis smiles, but once again, ahs to point out that the action in the ring never quite stopped, though it slowed down while the embarrassing display was going on. “And Mak is tugging Manson up to his feet, trying to keep the pressure on.”

Mak pulls Manson up to his feet, and pushes him toward the corner. He rears his hand back, and delivers a punch into the kidney of Manson. Manson keels over, and Mak is spot on, placing a hand behind the head of Manson and hooking the leg, pulling him back with a Russian Leg Sweep. Francis, sensing that Manson is vulnerable, reaches down for an attempted Sleeper once again. Manson though, wise to the plans of Francis, brings a leg up and cracks Mak in the head with a stiff kick. Mak reels, and Manson rolls onto his stomach, pushing himself up off the mat, and Francis does the same, getting to his feet before Manson. He stalks Manson, who stands in a corner closest to the entry way, and finally charges in. He pays the price, as he gets a boot shoved into his gut, the result of another Roundhouse by Manson.

Edwin happily chimes in, "Mak Francis losing his head a bit, not of the norm for Mr. Francis, who's usually cool and collected."

Mak Francis hits the mat grabbing his stomach, and Manson creeps behind him, looking for another devasting kick, this time aiming for the back of Mak's head. Mak ducks, and pops back up, behind waistlocking Manson and trying for a German Suplex. Mak's arm gives out partway through, forcing Mak to release Manson prematurely, not getting all of the Suplex as he had hoped. Manson gets dumped onto his upper back behind Mak, and shoots back up with a surge of adrenaline, wrapping up the right arm of Mak Francis and attempting to take him down for the Cross Arm Breaker. Mak balls his left fist, and lets go with a punch, on target to Manson's jaw.

"And Mak with a closed-fist shot to Manson, which in most cases would have probably been illegal in our sport."

Manson's jaw stings from the punch, as he lets go of his attempts for a submission and his eyes glaze over, practically out on his feet. Taking his chance, Mak takes the head of Manson and spins his body around, dropping to the canvas and impacting the back of Manson's head onto his shoulder, a result of the Hangman's Neckbreaker. Manson looks to be out of it, but Mak is out as well, as he collapses to the mat and clutches his shoulder, burning pains running through it. As both Mak and Manson struggle up to their feet, the cameras pan over to catch C.I.A. and Spike Jenkins coming in through the rabid, beer-swilling Philly crowd.

"Here come Jenkins and C.I.A., officially back into the match!"

C.I.A. climbs over the guard rail beside the ring, the carcass of Spike Jenkins with him, limp in C.I.A's hands. C.I.A. strikes Jenkins with a knee to the mid-section, staggering him just long enough to toss him into the ring. Meanwhile, Manson and Mak Francis awake to find their respective tag partners, C.I.A. and Spike back in the ring. The crowd heats up again, upon seeing all elements together again, as Manson climbs to the top rope and stands above Spike. Mak on the other hand, his mind clouded by rage, forgets about Manson, as he begins to give chase after C.I.A., who slides out of the ring, gradually leading Mak to the backstage.

Axis, almost as confused as if he were locked in a shed, is the first to speak. "That was…odd. C.I.A. gets back into the match, only to disappear once again, taking Mak Francis with him."

“Dirty Canadians.” King grumbles, “This was probably C.I.A.'s plan all along, to divide and conquer."

Edwin laughs, and seems amused at the thought. “If that was the plan, it's pretty clever, as sWo works better as a unit, while Manson and C.I.A. have never worked together at all, so it's best to capitalize on their own strengths."

Axis re-directs both men’s attention to the ring by speaking up again. “It's a discussion up for debate later, but look who's ready to fly!"

Spike Jenkins turns around, only to spot Manson leap off the top turnbuckle with a grace comparable to the great light-heavyweights in the industry. Spike has nowhere to run, as Manson turns in mid-air and hits a Flying Cross Body. Spike, already battered and bruised from earlier on in the match, is flattened by the velocity of the high-risk move. Manson crawls into the cover, but Spike is already up to his knees, smartly keeping out of a dangerous position.

"Manson, with a huge Cross Body off the top!"

Manson approaches to pull Spike up to a standing position, but Spike raises an arm and strikes Manson in the nether regions!

"Ooooh!!"”

Manson crumbles to the mat, and Spike tries for a pin off of the nut shot.

"One!"

"Two!"

"THR--"

"And he still kicked out just before three."

Manson tries to climb up to his feet, as Spike grins and takes pleasure in his deeds, while taking a place across the ring. Manson gets up to a knee, and Spike takes a run from across the ring, jumping and stepping off Manson's leg, swinging his free leg around and missing with the Dangerous Wizard! Manson then stands and clutches Jenkins around the chest with his arm, picking him up and driving him down with a Uranage Suplex!

"The Uranage! Cover!"

"One!"

"TWO!"

THR--"

"KICKOUT!

The crowd lets out a sigh of disappointment, as Manson pounds the mat, and Spike once again rolls up onto a knee, getting up to his feet. Manson gets behind Spike and wraps an arm around the head for an Inverted Swinging Neckbreaker, so it would seem. Spike spins out, and hooks Manson for a Rock Bottom, but Manson elbows out of it, and hooks Spike once again from behind, this time hitting the Inv. Swinging Neckbreaker perfectly!

"One!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

::Ding Ding::

Funyon’s voice echoes through the arena, no doubt reaching even the two men currently brawling backstage. "And Your Winners, by Pinfall. The team of C.I.A. and MMAAANSON!"

"Manson gets Spike Jenkins with his Inverted Swinging Neckbreaker, capturing victory for himself and his tag partner for tonight, C.I.A! A perfect way to end our stay in the old ECW Arena. For Suicide King, and Edwin MacPhisto, I'm Axis. See you on Metal!"

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SJL Crimson - September 15, 2002

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