OAOAST IntenselyHeldDOWN~! 9/16/02

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Intensely Held Down For September 16, 2002

 

"Ice Ice Baby" plays as the Masked Mystery Eskimo strolls out to the ring to boos from the crowd. In one hand is Derek the Fish, spitting at the crowd. Eskimo slides into the ring. Derek sits on a turnbuckle, swearing drunkenly at the crowd. Eskimo picks up a mic as the crowd boos get louder.

 

Eskimo: When I lost the USTV title to Big Poopa Poopick (fans cheer), I got depressed. I went home to my igloo, and I sat down, and I didn't know what to do next. But then, something remarkable happened. I trod on something wet and sticky.

At first I thought it was a by-product of my being repeatedly SCREWED by this company, but when I looked at it...ladies and gentleman, I had struck OIL. Gallons and gallons of it, under MY igloo.

 

I'm sure even you fuck-wits in the audience don't need to be told what that means, but I'm going to tell you anyway. It means I am now a very rich man. And rich men get there own way. What's more, they get their own COMPANY. So here, tonite, in this very ring, I am proud to announce the formation of The One and Only Mystery Eskimo Federation.

 

The OAOMEF will stand for everything the OAOAST does not. It will stand for rewards for good wrestlers. It will feature the best talent in the wrestling world. Screw SCW, SWF, whatever the hell it is, no-one cares. This is the real deal, right here!

 

Now, I'm not the only wrestler in the OAOAST who's a little frustrated. So, allow me to introduce my new employees...

 

Verdis 'Requiem' plays across the arena and the devilman JINGUS appears on the entrance way. It is immediately replaced by 'just got wicked' as the OAOAST X Champion, The Superstar, appears and stands next to JINGUS. Next, 'Come out and play' by Offspring plays and USTV title No 1 contender Angle-Plex joins the group. All three men raise arms and then flip off the crowd as they walk to the ring through a cascade of boos and trash.

 

All three men get into the ring and shake hands with Eskimo. Eskimo hands the mic to Angle-Plex:

 

:::Crowd is throwing trash into the ring::

 

Angleplex: Fuck the OAOAST!

 

::Crowd Boos::

 

Angleplex: This morning at 12:00am, my contract with the OAOAST officially expired. So this morning I went in to talk to Mr. Bill Watts to negotiate a new contract. After last nights victory, I was expecting a big cash bonus. Mr. Watts offered me a contract at $5000 more a week than I was getting before. Well Mr. Watts, I consider that a slap in the fucking face, because you sure as hell know I'm worth 10 times that.

 

::Crowd boos::

 

Angleplex: Everyone knows I was the OAOAST. I was the fucking company.Without me, all it is is a big fucking circus.

 

::Crowd starts chanting "Sell-Out::

 

Angleplex: So when I was packing my bags, getting ready to leave, MME pulled me aside and told me about his new company. I truely didn't give a shit about him or his company, so I got to the point and asked him how much cash he was offering me. Needless to say, I was satisfied with the figure we came up with.

 

::A fan jumps the barricade and tries to enter the ring::

 

Angleplex: Get the fuck out of my ring.

 

::AP, MME, JINGUS and Superstar start attacking the fan. Security tackles him::

 

Angleplex: So Mr.Watts, I hope your happy, because you just killed your fucking company.

 

Angle-plex throws the mic to JINGUS. JINGUS looks at it, opens his mouth and bites the mic in half. He then SPITS the remains of the mic all over the front row and gives the whole stadium the finger. Eskimo chuckles and passes another mic to Superstarr, as a wave of boos thunders through the arena, all directed to the reigning X-Champion::

"Yeah, fuck you too. And to quote the great band Fozzy, you said that I'd never make it, but here I am. And I think after last night, all you pieces of shit know that I AM THE OAOAST X CHAMPION! I beat your hero, the commish, Big Poppa Popick, and after the match, Eskimo and Angle-plex joined in on the fun of kicking his fucking ass! None of you, NONE OF YOU, thought I would win last night. The only ones that did were these two ::points to MME and AP:: They were my insurance. Hell, I KNEW I was going to beat Popick. I just needed to be sure in case Popick ever cheated or something. ::"Asshole" chant:: Hey, shut the fuck up! All you bitches now know that I AM THE OAOAST X CHAMPION! And like Eskimo said, we're breaking the mold. To hell with the OAOAST and its crooked booking. Fuck them for holding down the most promising superstars ever! After I kick Sandman's ass tonight and retain my title, we're outta here. From now on, you can only see YOUR X CHAMPION on Thursday nights: OAOMEF Breakout. The most entertaining, fucking awesome show on television. Forget your fucking "IntenselyHeldDown". I'm sick of seeing Angle-plex job to everyone short of his own mom. Hell, even Anglesault's fucking DOG was booked to pin this man. That won't happen in the OAOMEF. Equal opportunity for all, and it's the only place where the REAL talent will be displayed. Like I said, after Sandman is destroyed tonight, this belt will become the OAOMEF X Championship, until someone beats me for it. In other words, it'll be that way forever. There ain't no piece of shit out there that can beat me for this title, because I am now the OAOMEF X CHAMPION!I'd like to thank all you fans (...pieces of shit) and all the fuckwads in the back, for not recognizing just who the hell we are. We're never going to be with you fuckers again. The superior show will now be on Thursday nights. And if anyone wants to join the revolution-and excuse me for a minute marks, I'm going to use some insider lingo- PM me. Thank you, bitches. Oh, and by the way, I AM THE OAOMEF X CHAMPION!

 

Eskimo takes back the mic.

 

Eskimo: You see, scum? These are real men. Real athletes. Real wrestlers. And as Superstar said, you can see us on OAOMEF: Breakout, this thursday night. Because I bought the OAOAST's time slot there, and now its mine, and theres NOTHING any of you can do about it! Oh, and one final thing...just in case anyone is thinking about removing us from the OAOAST...I paid a visit to the board of directors this morning with the 10 most expensive lawyers in the country.Our contracts here are valid and bound. We are ALL still in the OAOAST so we can take its titles over to the OAOMEF.

 

If anyone of you listening in the back has the guts to see that we are the future, I might be able to come up with a contract for you. And believe me, it'll be worth your while. What we did at Excessive Forces is only the beginning. The tag titles will soon belong to Jingus and myself. SS is still the X champion, and Angleplex will become USTV champion.

 

Finally, the four of us have just one thing to say:

 

MME, SS, JINGUS and AP: Fuck the OAOAST!

 

The four men leave through a massive pyro explosion, spelling the letters OAOMEF in the air.

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Earlier today….

 

In the Deadly Alliance locker room, TK and Reject are sitting, with their heads bowed. Sandman9000 walks into the locker room, pissed off.

 

“Goddamn, last night sucked.”

 

TK and Reject nod in approval.

 

“Alright, listen. I’ve got a shot at SuperShit tonight, and we can at least get one belt back in our possession. If we can get the X-Title, we can at least have some power here in the OAOAST. Now, as for the World belt,”

 

Alfdogg storms into the room, and slams his bags down.

 

“Well, that is just great. I’m no longer the champion, and that psycho CWM is, and it is all your faults.”

 

Sandman looks at Alf.

 

“Dude, relax. We can…”

 

“Shut up. You’ve been of no help to us at all lately. I mean, you got your ass suspended because Bill Watts thought you were gonna kill Evenflow.”

 

“Well, I was.”

 

“Shut up Sandman. In fact, this is MY locker room. All of you, get out. The Deadly Alliance is dead. We are no longer associated with each other. You have failed me.”

 

“Alf, listen. We’ll get the belt back. We need to concentrate on my X-Title shot tonight. If we can get a belt back…”

 

“The only belt that is changing hands tonight is my World Title! I’m getting it back from CWM! Now, all of you, get out!”

 

TK and Reject stand up and prepare to leave, but Sandman stops them.

 

“Hold on guys. We need to be sensitive to Alf’s needs. After all, it isn’t every day that a person loses a world championship.”

 

Alf’s temper flares.

 

“Well, Sandman, at least I have beaten EvenflowDDT.”

 

Sandman looks hurt.

 

“Alf, man, don’t go there. You know how I fee…”

 

“And at least my worst enemy isn’t banging my slutty sister. And at least my worst enemy doesn’t kick the shit out of me every time we fight! And at least I can wake up every morning, knowing that I am not EvenflowDDT’s bitch!”

 

Sandman is about to speak, until Thunder Kid says, “You know, Sandman, he does have a point.”

 

Sandman turns around and asks, “Whose side are you guys on?”

 

“In fact,” Alf says while walking in between the three men, “let’s find out who is on who’s side. Sandman, why don’t you and I have a little wrestling match? And TK and Reject can do run-ins and show whose side they are really on?”

 

Sandman gets into Alf’s face.

 

“You’re on.”

 

Sandman exits the locker room. Alf waits until the door closes until turning to TK and Reject.

 

“You two got my back, right? No matter what goes down, us three are always together.”

 

Reject speaks up. “You know, Alf, I really don’t like this idea.”

 

“Reject, TK, all you need to know is that I’m going to take Sandman out tonight, and I expect you two to be with me when I run him out of this fed for good.”

 

Alf slaps hands with TK and Reject, and leaves the locker room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

X-Title Match

2/3 Falls

Sandman9000 (challenger) vs. The SuperStar (Champion)

 

“Five Minutes Alone” hits as Sandman9000 makes his way down to the ring for the second time tonight. After the debacle with Alf earlier, Sandman is looking for his first belt, just to top the night off.

“Just Got Wicked” hits as The SuperStar makes his way down to the ring, with the OAOAST X-Title still in hand. SS managed to defeat Big Poppa Popick at Excessive Force, and successfully defend his X-Title, despite the face that it took interference from Angle-Plex and Masked Mystery Eskimo. SS is still the X-Title champion, and that is all that matters.

These two men have met before, at Beach Blast, in a Staple Gun Scramble Caribbean Death Match. Sandman won that match, so even though he is the challenger, SS has a motive to defend his belt.

The bell rings, as Sandman charges at SS, who exits the ring. While SS isn’t the greatest technical wrestler, he can’t match Sandman for pure brawling ability. Sandman exits the ring, but SS slides back in. Sandman grabs the ring bell and climbs back into the ring, as SS exits the other side and starts walking up the ramp.

Sandman drops the ring bell and baseball slides out of the ring, sprinting after SS. SS reaches the top of the ramp, and is about to duck back into the entrance way, when Sandman catches up to him. Sandman goes to turn SS around, but SS turns himself and nails Sandman in the head with a garbage can! Sandman staggers backwards, as SS nails Sandman in the head again, sending Sandman rolling down the ramp.

SS takes his time, laughing as he strolls down the ramp. At the foot of the ramp, Sandman is slowly coordinating himself, when SS nails him again in the back of the head with the garbage can. Sandman is down, giving SS time to toss Sandman back into the ring.

SS climbs onto the apron, and climbs up top, while Sandman is trying to stand. Sandman is up, and goes down as SS nails a missile dropkick from the top. SS covers, 1…2…Sandman kicks out. SS drops an elbow and another cover, 1…2…Sandman kicks out.

SS pulls Sandman to his feet and hits a right hand to knock the challenger into the corner. SS starts chopping away at Sandman in the corner, with several nasty chops to the chest of Sandman. SS goes to whip Sandman into the opposite corner, but Sandman reverses the whip, and SS goes into the corner. However, SS goes for a leap over, as Sandman follows in, and has Sandman in the corner again. SS with a kick to the stomach, and brings Sandman to the middle of the ring. SS hooks Sandman up for a powerbomb, but Sandman reverses with a backdrop, yet SS counters with a sunset flip, 1…2…Sandman kicks out.

Angry at Sandman’s resistance, SS grabs the ring bell and lines Sandman up. SS rushes at Sandman, and nails him between the eyes with the ring bell! Sandman looks like he’s been shot, SS covers, 1…2…Sandman kicks out!

SS can’t believe that Sandman kicks out of the ring bell shot, as Sandman is now bleeding from the forehead. SS starts stomping and punching away at the cut on Sandman’s forehead, trying to open it up even more. SS grabs the ring bell, and drives it into Sandman’s head once more. SS drops the ring bell on the mat, lifts Sandman into position, and drills him with a piledriver onto the ring bell! SS covers, 1…2….Sandman kicks out!

SS can’t believe that Sandman is still in this match, as he starts to argue with the official, while Sandman lies in a bloody heap on the mat. After about 20 seconds of arguing, the official threatens to disqualify SS and cost him a fall. SS, angry at the official, turns around to pick Sandman off his feet. However, Sandman grabs an inside cradle, 1….2….SS kicks out.

SS is on his feet immediately and stomping away at Sandman. SS lifts Sandman to his feet and shoots him off the ropes, but misses a clothesline. Sandman hits a cross-body on the rebound, moves into the mount position, and starts firing away on SS’ face.

After a flurry of rights, Sandman stands and pulls SS to his feet. Sandman with several kicks to the stomach, and a DDT. A bloody Sandman covers, 1…2…SS kicks out. Sandman goes to the top rope, and throws a corkscrew moonsault, but SS gets out of the way. SS climbs to the top, and throws the SuperSplash, but misses as well. While SS struggles to his feet, Sandman sneaks up behind SS, lifts him up, and drills him with the PSYCHO DRIVAH~! Sandman covers, 1….2…3!

 

Winner of the First Fall: Sandman9000 in 7:12

Via: Pinfall, PSYCHO DRIVAH~!

 

SS is having trouble standing after being dropped directly on his head, so the official keeps Sandman off of SS. Sandman decides to kill time by searching for weapons under the ring. Sandman tosses in a table, two chairs, a STOP sign, a cookie sheet, and a bag of some sort. Sandman walks around to the other side of the ring, grabs the garbage can, and climbs into the ring with it.

Sandman, with his face covered in blood, tells SS to get up. SS slowly rises to his feet, Sandman comes in to clobber SS with the garbage can, but SS lunges and nails Sandman with a low blow! Sandman is down, holding his groin, while SS jumps to his feet, laughing.

SS grabs the garbage can and begins to beat Sandman with it, with six nasty shots to the back and neck of Sandman. SS tosses the destroyed garbage can out of the ring, and grabs the cookie sheet. SS taunts Sandman to get up, yet nails Sandman on the back of his head every time Sandman tries to stand.

Sandman finally rises to his feet, allowing SS to crack Sandman over the head with the cookie sheet once again. Sandman is still on his feet, so SS tosses the cookie sheet out of the ring and grabs the STOP sign, nailing Sandman over the head with that. Sandman is still on his feet, so SS drops the STOP sign and grabs a chair. SS winds up, but Sandman moves out of the way, and SS hits the top rope with the chair, causing it to rebound and crack SS right in the face!

SS drops the chair, holding his nose from the impact. Sandman takes the opportunity to hook SS up for another PSYCHO DRIVAH~!, but SS manages to escape the hold. SS grabs Sandman, and drops him on the back of his head with a German suplex, folding Sandman in half. SS pulls Sandman back to his feet, and takes him over with a dragon suplex, dropping Sandman on his head again! SS pulls Sandman back to his feet, and hits a tiger driver! SS holds on, 1..2….Sandman kicks out!

Incredulous, SS argues with the ref before stomping away on Sandman. SS grabs the table and sets it up. SS tosses Sandman onto the table, then climbs up with him. Balancing carefully, SS pulls Sandman to his feet, hooks him up, and delivers a STAR POWER II THROUGH THE TABLE! SS covers, 1…2….3!

 

Winner of the Second Fall: The SuperStar in 12:19

Via: Pinfall, Star Power II through a table

 

Both men are lying in the wreckage of the table as the third fall begins. Neither man looks like he can pull off the victory at this point. The official moves both men so that he will be able to dispose of the broken table.

SS is up first, and grabs the ring bell. He turns to see Sandman standing, with the STOP sign. SS lunges at Sandman, but Sandman ducks. Sandman swings at SS, who blocks the shot with the ring bell. SS winds up and nails Sandman in the face with the ring bell! Sandman is staggered, so SS nails Sandman in the face again! A third shot floors Sandman, and it looks like Sandman is out of it!

SS takes a moment to celebrate, not noticing that Sandman has the bag in his right hand. SS goes to cover, 1….2…Sandman nails SS in the back of the head with the bag! SS stands, holding the back of his head. Sandman, from his knees, hits an uppercut with the bag, driving SS back into the ropes! Sandman stands, opens the bag, and produces two pairs of handcuffs! Sandman walks over to SS, hits him in the side of the face with the handcuffs, and handcuffs SS to the top rope! SS tries to break away, but can’t!

Sandman hits several rights to the unprotected face of SS, who is able to kick Sandman away. Sandman grabs a chair, lines SS up, and hits a disturbing shot to the skull of SS! SS is in obvious pain, so Sandman winds up and nails SS again! Sandman nails SS again, and again, and again, and again, until the back of the chair is completely dented and ruined! SS is slumped against the ropes, with his head hung and blood dripping from a cut on the top of his head!

Sandman turns the chair around, and starts nailing SS with the back of the chair! After three shots, the back of the chair falls off, and SS looks like he is dead. Sandman produces a set of keys, and unlocks SS from the ropes, who falls to the mat. Sandman turns SS over, puts one foot on top of SS as the official counts and the crowd boos, 1….2…SS GETS THE LEFT SHOULDER UP!

The crowd is stunned, as Sandman grabs the destroyed chair and smashes it across the face of SS one last time. Sandman drops down and hooks both legs, 1….2….3!

 

Winner of the Third Fall and the Match: Sandman9000 in 15:12 (New champion)

Via: Pinfall, chair shot

TK and Reject rush up to him.

 

“Dude, that was awesome! You fucking got a belt! You fucking won!”

 

“Alright, so who is going to be the first person you beltshot?”

 

Sandman looks at TK and Reject with an odd look.

 

“Beltshot? Beltshots are for *******. As for you two, I expect to see you in the Deathmatch Tournament.”

 

TK and Reject look stunned.

 

“Death, deathmatch tournament? Why would we be in it?

 

“Yeah, it’s your tournament. We want nothing to do with it.”

 

“TK, Reject, you don’t have to be in the KODM if you don’t want. But if you decide you don’t want any, don’t expect to be part of MY Deadly Alliance anymore!”

 

TK and Reject walk away stunned, leaving Sandman in the ring

 

Sandman is standing in the ring, blood covering his face, leaning on the destroyed chair, as the official hands Sandman the OAOAST X-Title. Sandman looks at the belt, his first ever, and nails the official in the face with it! The crowd boos, as Sandman gets a mic from ringside.

 

“Alright, listen up fuckers. I’m gonna make this short and sweet, and you ain’t gonna like it. Bill Watts, Evenflow, all of you can try and hold me down, to make sure I can’t do what I do best, and that is fuck people up. Well, I got me a belt now, and I’m gonna be in your faces every time you turn on your TV from now on.”

“And I see it like this. Since I wasn’t allowed to wrestle last month, I’m gonna have to find some way to make up for it. So, bitches, I propose this. At Doomsday, on Pay Per View, I defend this here X-Title. Now, it won’t be any normal title defense. No way. We’re gonna have something that Bill Watts and other people want nothing to do with. Nah, at Doomsday, we’re gonna have us the First Annual OAOAST KING OF THE MOTHERFUCKING DEATHMATCH!”

 

The crowd is shocked, as it appears that Sandman has finally lost his mind.

 

“Now, there are already two people in this Deathmatch tournament. Me, cause it’s my fucking tournament and my fucking title. And, the other person is you, Evenflow. Bill Watts can’t protect you now. The law can’t protect you now. And GOD can’t protect you now!”

“You see, Flow,” Sandman wipes his hand through his bloody hair, “I’m tired of this cycle. We fight, we bleed, we fight, we bleed, and then we fight and bleed some more. I figure, that if at least one of us dies, this whole cycle will be over. And one of us will finally win. I’m willing to destroy myself, if it means I can destroy you.”

“So, come one, come all. Whoever wants this belt, and wants the title as the most violent motherfucker in this promotion, show up at Doomsday, and put your life on the line!”

 

Sandman laughs, as the crowd boos.

 

“Hail to the king, baby.”

 

On the Video Screen Bill Watts appears:

 

“I am fining Sandman $500 for the stunt he pulled at EF. Also, at Doomsday I hope you get your ass kicked.”

 

Sandman freaks out.

 

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Big Poppa Popick enters from the backstage parking lot, carrying his USTV title and a small rolling bag as Mike Van Siclen and the SWF'ers walk by.

 

Mike Van Siclen stops his group, and taps BPP's title. "Betcha you're happy you held onto that one aren't you?"

 

BPP smiles, "I'd rather have the X-title too, but it looks like you didn't get into the arena on time..."

 

BPP: " I hope you don't think that, I... OWE you anything either. It's enough that you've got a #1 contender's match tonight, as well as your two boys with the tag team contendership on the line."

 

MVS: "If I wasn't in the know, I would swear we would be working together BPP. Alot of the boys....." MVS trails off as Zack Malibu and AngelSault walk by, staring at BPP and the SWF'ers.

 

BPP: "I gotta go, I've got other business.

 

MVS: "Nice to work with you, cya later!"

 

Popick shakes his head and runs off...

 

 

Later on,

 

 

Angelsault: See, I told you BPP was with them

 

Zack: What's with him and lying, backstabbing?

 

Angelsault: Ego...

 

Zack nods his head...

 

 

No Disqualification

Alfdogg vs. Sandman9000

 

“Kona Crush” hits as the former OAOAST World Champion comes down the aisle. Alfdogg is pissed that he lost his belt to CobainWasMurdered at Excessive Force, and even more unhappy that Sandman9000 was running his mouth earlier. Alf intends to show his former compadre a thing or two.

“Five Minutes Alone” hits as Sandman9000 finally makes his return to action in the OAOAST. Sandman has been suspended since the 200 Lightbulbs Deathmatch at Ashes 2 Ashes, and this is his first match back, and it is against his former Deadly Alliance stablemate.

Both men are in the ring, and immediately get in each others faces. The larger Alf dominates the argument, screaming in the face of Sandman. Sandman shoves Alf, who comes back and shoves Sandman to the ground. Sandman to his feet, and rushes at Alf with a clothesline. Alf ducks, and catches Sandman’s arm. Alf lifts Sandman onto his shoulders, and drops Sandman directly on his head with a sick Burning Hammer!

The crowd is stunned, as Alf looks like he has broken Sandman’s neck. Sandman is lying on the mat, not moving. Thunder Kid and Reject come rushing down to ringside, and slide into the ring.

Alf, however, is standing in the corner, laughing. Alf points at TK and Reject, and points at Sandman. TK and Reject look at each other confused. Angry, Alf gets a mic from ringside.

 

“Hey. Prove yourselves to me. Prove whose side you really are on. I’ve started the job, now you two finish it. I never want to see this motherfucker in a wrestling ring again. Finish his ass off. Break his neck again.”

 

Alf drops the mic, and motions for TK and Reject to attack Sandman. TK and Reject seem hesitant to attack Sandman, weakly poking Sandman’s still body with their feet. Alf gets pissed off and exits the ring. Alf throws three chairs into the ring, and slides back in.

Alf hands a chair to TK, and a chair to Reject, and picks up a chair for himself. Alf orders TK and Reject to beat Sandman, as Alf brings his chair over his head, and slams it onto Sandman’s unmoving body. TK and Reject take up poitions to the back left and right of Alf.

Alf is talking trash to Sandman, while TK and Reject look at each other. Suddenly, TK and Alf position themselves to swing, but are looking at Alf! Alf laughs at Sandman, and brings the chair above his head, allowing TK and Reject to hit stereo chairshots to the ribs of Alf!

Sandman rolls out of the way, as Alf drops to his knees, clutching at his ribs. TK and Reject hit a conchairto, scrambling Alf’s brains. TK and Reject begin to beat Alf with the chairs, as Sandman stands in the corner, with a smile on his face. Sandman picks up Alf and brings him over to the corner, and places him in the tree of woe. Sandman grabs two chairs and places them in front of Alf’s face, and orders TK and Reject to go to the perpendicular corners!

TK and Reject go to the perpendicular corners, and scale to the top. Sandman stands in the middle of the ring directing traffic. Sandman motions for the two men to go, as they both leap off, and nail stereo VanTerminators to Alf, who is in the tree of woe with chairs in front of his face!

The three men stand, hands held high, in the middle of the ring. Is the Deadly Alliance truly dead?

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

"True Faith" hits as evenflowDDT, dressed all in white, makes his way to the ring, uncharacteristically alone.

 

evenflowDDT: Sandman! Last night, at Excessive Force, I wept not out of fear, but out of sadness. Sadness for the wrongs to you that I have committed. On this day I confess, in front of the entire world, that I have abused your trust. On this day I confess, in front of the entire world, that I tried to use my love and your sister as a bargaining chip against you. On this day I confess, in front of the entire world, that I turned my back on you. On this day I confess, in front of the entire world, that I have caused you pain, anguish, and suffering. On this day I admit my faults, and I cry the same tears that I have caused you...

 

The crowd gasps as evenflowDDT takes out the shards of a broken lightbulb from his pocket and shoves them into his own face.

 

evenflowDDT: ...tears of blood. It is on this day that I beg for forgiveness, for I am imperfect, for I have missed the mark, for I am but a man.

 

evenflowDDT leaves the stage.

 

BPP Vs. Thunder Kid

 

SWEETNESS by JIMMY EAT WORLD plays and BPP hits the ring. GOD OF THUNDER by KISS plays and Thunder Kid enters the ring.

 

TK charges at BPP but BPP moves out of the way and TK goes charging out of the ring to the concrete. Popick shakes his head in amazement before following the kid outside. BPP whips TK into the STEEEL stairs and then into the guard rails. BPP picks him up and drops him down throat first onto another guard rail. BPP rolls TK back into the ring and covers 1…2…NO! TK kicks out.

 

BPP whips TK so hard into the corner the ring seems to move! BPP follows him in with a splash. BPP picks the kid up and sets him on the turnbuckle. BPP goes for a superplex but TK blocks and pushes BPP off. TK hits a missile dropkick! TK picks BPP up and stiffs him with a few forearms to the head and then whips him into the ropes…TK ducks down and backdrops Popick. TK hits a leg drop and a snap suplex. TK goes for the FALCON ARROW…BPP blocks and rolls him up 1…2…NO!

 

TK kicks and stomps BPP in frustration and tosses him to the outside and then scales the ropes…FLYING ‘RANA! BPP moves out of the way and TK hits the concrete with a sick thud! BPP picks TK up and rolls him into the ring. BPP signals for the SYNCHRONICITY BOMB. He nails it! 1…2…3!

 

Winner: Big Poppa Popick

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

A jet-black SUV rolls up to the arena, and it's passengers, Zack Malibu, EvenflowDDT and Alison, aka The In Crowd, hop out. As Zack and Evenflow get their bags from the back, resident In Crowd lackey and OAOAST "in depth reporter" Michael Cole comes sprinting over.

 

MC:"Zack! Zack! Can I get your comments on what happened at Excessive Force?"

 

ZM:"Sure, MC. You know, Angle-Plex gets ONE WIN, and his ego swells up like Tyson's lips after fighting Lewis. As for MME and..."

 

EfDDT:"Dude..."

 

ZM:"What?"

 

Evenflow whispers something in Zack's ear.

 

ZM:"Oh. That."

 

MC:"That? What's that?"

 

ZM:"What's what?"

 

MC:"That."

 

ZM:"What's that?"

 

MC:"What?"

 

Alison decides to step in and break up the monotony...

 

A:"GEEZ! It's not that hard! Michael, ask Zack a question, and Zack, you answer it to the best of your power! So, go ahead Michael...ask him."

 

MC:"Ask him what?"

 

Zack lunges for Michael Cole, but Evenflow holds him back.

 

EfDDT:"Look guys, things are getting pretty tense around here. We've got a lot of new faces, and new alliances, rumors are swirling and accusations are being kicked around like hacky sacks. We've got to chill, all of us. Now, let's try this again."

 

MC:"Zack, I want to ask you about the situation that went down in the main event. Whether it was considered a fair call or not, some are questioning your judgement."

 

ZM:"MC, listen to me, as well as everyone else out there that doubts me. I played it down the middle. Granted, I became an unwilling part of the action, but I stood by my pledge to be fair and impartial. Alfdogg, you're not invincible, and I took all I could from you. CWM, I'd rather steal your beer than share one with you, so if you think I'm gonna be a bosom buddy, a chum, a friend, then you're wrong too. What you're looking at right here is consistency, Michael Cole. Right now, it appears that in a time of change, the OAOAST NEEDS a constant. Well people, you're looking it at. The In Crowd has remained strong despite the loss, and now the change of attitude in Superstar. It has remained strong during the hellacious beatings that this man, EvenflowDDT has taken from Sandman9000, this lovely ladies own brother. And it has remained strong despite the constant conspiring against claiming the championship gold that I so deserve, The OAOAST World Championship. You think that a few new faces, and a few new alliances can break that? You think an "invasion" will weaken us? I think a wise man once said...I don't think so. Because we're not saying we're "4 Life" like some guys, we're not saying that we're "4 Ever". All I'm saying is that Zack Malibu, EvenflowDDT, Alison, and the OAOST...like it or not, we're 4 REAL!"

 

MC:"And what about tonight, Zack, when you take on Mike Van Siclen for the right to challenge the OAOAST Champion?"

 

ZM:"Cole, like I just said, there's only one thing that's for real around here. So maybe it's time that that little 'dream' of becoming champion became real too."

 

The In Crowd head into the arena, seemingly well-prepared for what the night will have in store.

 

 

Zack Malibu Vs. Van Siclen

 

SHUT EM DOWN by LL COOL J hits and Van Siclen hits the ring. SAVED BY THE BELL THEME hits and Zack Malibu this the ring.

 

Zack and Siclen waste no time and start exchanging punches before the bell even rings. Zack gains the upper hand and hits Siclen with such a hard left that he goes flying over the top rope. Zack goes for a baseball slide but Siclen dodges and hits a DDT on the concrete! Siclen climbs on to the ring apron and hits a elbow drop to the outside. Siclen tosses Zack back into the ring. Zack regains his feet and punches Siclen hard in the face when Siclen regains the apron. Siclen goes low with a shoulder to the gut and then Sunset flips in 1…Zack flips out and covers Siclen, they exchange near falls until Siclen makes a cover near the ropes and puts his feet on the ropes 1…2…NO! Zack manages to kick out.

 

Siclen picks Zack up and hits a picture perfect drop kick. Siclen irish whips Zack perhaps in hopes of hitting the Van Slaminator, but Zack holds onto the ropes and slips out of the ring to recover. Siclen pursues Zack to the floor but Zack was setting him up! Zack clotheslines Siclen to the floor and then when a groggy Siclen gets up hits a SCHOOL’S PUT SUPERKICK~! Zack tosses him back in the ring and makes a cover 1…2…NO! Foot on the ropes!

 

Zack picks Siclen up signals for another Super Kick but Siclen ducks and Zack’s foot connects squarely with the Ref’s chin! Zack goes to check on the ref and Siclen seezes the opportunity to low blow him and hit the CROSSFACE HALO! He covers but there’s no referee!

 

All of a sudden from the back Tony The Body comes running out with a chair! Meanwhile Zack has gotten to his feet while Siclen is checking the ref. Zack pulls Siclen away from the ref who has began to recover. They exchange blows…Until Tony enters the ring! Tony tries to sneak up on them but they both spot him…DOUBLE DROPKICK! Tony spills to the floor! The ref sees all of this and calls for the bell.

 

WINNER: NO ONE! DOUBLE DQ!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Judge Mental/Flex Vs. Masked Mystery Eskimo/Jingus

 

ICE ICE BABY by VANILLA ICE hits and MME/Jingus enter the ring. SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE by RATM hits and Flunkmasta Flex enters the arena and waits outside of the ring for his partner…TESTIFY by RATM hits and Judge Mental joins his partner.

 

Mental and Eskimo start out. They tie up and Eskimo sweeps the legs and grabs the leg looking for an ankle lock but Mental fights him off with a kick to the head. Mental kips up. Eskimo, frustrated tags in the monster Jingus. Mental sizes up Jingus and bounces off the ropes with a clothesline that doesn’t even faze him. Mental backs up and tries again. This time Jingus stumbles back a step or two but is otherwise unfazed. Mental backs away and tags in Flex who climbs the ropes and hits a missile dropkick! Jingus stumbles backwards but doesn’t fall to the mat as he hits the ropes and bounces back up.

 

Flex charges at him and chop blocks the knee sending Jingus crashing to one knee. Flex dropkicks Jingus in the face which finally brings the monster fully down to the mat. Flex tags in Mental who drops a leg on the back of Jingus’s head before locking on a Boston Crab. Jingus though, uses his tremendous lower body strength and powers out of it.

 

Jingus lurches to his feet and hits a CLOTHESLINE FROM SOMEWHERE WORSE THAN HELL on the Judge. Jingus slaps Flex which brings him in but the ref stops him. Eskimo charges into the ring and they double team Flex. Jingus goes to the apron. Eskimo suplex’s Flex and locks on the POLAR BEAR CLUTCH. Mental breaks it up, but when the ref tries to get him to leave Jingus and Eskimo double team Flex some more. Eskimo goes to the apron. Jingus goes for the CLAW SLAM…but Flex kicks him in the balls! Jingus falls like a sack of bricks.

 

Flex makes the hot tag to Mental who’s a JUDGE A FIRE! Mental kicks Eskimo In the gut and then nails a COURTHOUSE SLAM! Eskimo rolls to the outside. Jingus slowly starts to get to his feet until Mental kicks him in the testicles again and makes the cover 1…2…NO! Eskimo pulls Mental to the outside and hits a BLIZZARD BOMB on the concrete!

 

Flex regains his senses and covers Jingus 1…2…NO! Jingus powers out. Jingus picks Flex up for a Gorilla Slam but Flex slips out and hits a vicious German Suplex! Flex covers but Eskimo stops the count by pulling the ref out. Eskimo is in with a chair! Eskimo cracks Flex hard on the back with the chair. Eskimo grabs the ref and tosses him back in where Jingus makes the cover 1…2…3!

 

Winners: Jingus/Masked Mystery Eskimo

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

OAOAST World Title Match: Cobinwasmurdered Vs. Angleplex

 

WALK By PANTERA hits and Angleplex enters the arena…all of a sudden the song cuts out and IT’S RAINING MEN plays! Lodi runs out holding up an “I love Agnes” sign. The lights dim and SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT hits…CWM escorted by 12 beautiful women makes his way down to ringside.

 

CWM holds the OAOAST up in AP’s face as if to say, “This is as close as you’ll ever get to touching the belt.” CWM gives the belt to AP and the match starts.

 

CWM offers a test of strength, when AP goes for it CWM pokes him in the eye and grabs a headlock. AP pushes him off into the ropes and ducks his head down, CWM coming off the ropes kicks AP in the head and then hits a snap suplex for 1.5. CWM picks AP up and unloads on him with a knifeedge chop, CWM hits four but AP blocks the fifth and gives CWM a chop of his own that echos all over the building. AP whips CWM into the corner and follows up with a Stinger Splash. AP goes up top and hits a thrust kick on the dazed CWM. 1…2…NO! CWM kicks out in the nick of time.

 

Ao goes to pick CWM up but CWM grabs ahold of his pants and tosses him to the outside. CWM follows him outside and goes for piledriver but AP backdrops him on the cement. AP whips him into the STEEEL stairs. Plex goes for it again but CWM reverses it and AP’s knee catches the edge of the stairs. CWM rolls back into the ringto break the count and then goes back out. CWM picks up the stairs and sends them crashing down on AP’s injured leg. CWM picks him up and sends him back into the ring.

 

CWM goes for a figure four but AP rolls him up for 2. AP gets to his feet slowly and hits a clothesline on CWM. CWM goes down hard and begs off from AP. AP goes to seize the advantage but CWM pokes him in the eye and chop blocks the knee. CWM locks on the figure four.

 

AP is screaming in pain but refuses to give up. When the ref isn’t looking CWM uses the ropes for leverage. He gets away with it twice but on the third time the ref catches him and forces him to break the hold. CWM gets up in the ref’s face and a shoving match ensuses. Meanwhile AP has staggered to his feet and hobbles towards CWM….MILLION DOLLAR DREAM! CWM is screaming in pain, he’s about to give up when he manages to kick AP in the testicles.

 

CWM kicks AP in the leg and goes up top…TEEN SPIRIT LEG DROP…MISSES! AP makes the pin 1…2…FOOT ON THE ROPES~!

 

AP has a surge of adrenaline going and he gets to his feet and hits a germen suplex and then goes up top. $1 MILLION DOLLAR SHOT! AP goes for the pin 1…2…NO! CWM kicks out at 2.9!

 

AP grabs a chair from the outside and then picks up CWM for a tombstone but his leg gives out 1…2…NO! AP gets his arm on the ropes. From the Back Superstar, Jingus, and Eskimo come running but CWM grabs the chair AP dropped and with three chair shots send them running… AP sneaks up behind CWM and rolls him up…1…2…NO! CWM kicks out!

 

Angleplex goes for a Super Kick but CWM catches the foot…ANKLE LOCK! Angle-Plex TAPS OUT!

 

Winner: Cobainwasmurdered!

[Guest David Akeroyd's Biggest Fan]

That was SUCH a GREAT show, David!!! I mean, you should work for WWE!!! Great Job!!!

[Guest]

David is not cool! Tim is cooL!

[Guest]

David sucks, Tim rules the world and everything in it.

[Guest]

Tim should be champ!