My Fucking Neighbor!

[Guest KoR Fungus]

Argh, I'm angry, so I just have to rant.

 

Okay, so I've lived in this apartment for just over a year now. Last year, my neighbor below me complained to me one time total, and that was when I was making my squeaky bed at 1am and she could hear it through the floor. Totally justified. Over the summer, I was playing DDR all the time, and my neighbor (if I had one, it's summer in a college town so I'm not sure) didn't complain once. Other than the DDR, I'm pretty quiet and I go to bed pretty early (by college standards), so I certainly don't expect neighbors to complain much about me.

 

Then, this year, a new neighbor moved in below me. The day after I moved in, when all I'd done the entire day before was watch TV and unpack, my neighbor comes upstairs and complains about the noise. I basically said I'd try to keep it down, although honestly I thought I had been keeping it down. The very next day, she's complaining again, and this time I really hadn't done anything except walk around. She asked me if I could walk around less (wtf?) after 10pm (wtf?). I thought that was a pretty outrageous request given that it's a college town and plenty of people stay up and party until much later, but I said I'd try anyway.

 

A couple weeks pass, with me tiptoeing around my apartment and generally being paranoid about noise. Then last Sunday, I'm talking to my parents at 9pm on a Sunday, and when I talk on the phone, I tend to pace. This time, she sends her boyfriend up to bitch about the noise, at fucking 9pm. This was after she specifically said that I can be as loud as I want until 10pm, as long as I'm quiet after that.

 

Then on Monday, she complains to the landlord about the noise. The landlord checked our apartments and said that it wasn't that big a deal, but they decided they'd fix my squeaky floor anyway. Now this isn't that easy of a process. They had to move all my stuff, roll back the carpet and cover all my stuff with plastic to keep it dust free, since lots of dust flys out when they saw a groove in the floor, and it basically made it so that I couldn't be in my apartment all day. So I stay on campus all day, and I don't get back until about 10:30pm. Naturally, upon returning, I needed to move my furniture back, given that it was all moved so they could saw the floor. I start to move my furniture, which is basically just sliding it across carpet, and not five minutes later does she come up and asks, in as snide and obnoxious a tone of voice as I can possibly imagine, "Are you playing basketball up there?". Now, after surpressing my natural reaction of "Fuck you, you fucking asshole!", I tried to explain to her as nicely as possible that the only reason my furniture needs to be moved in the first place is because her bitch ass complained to the landlord, and that after all I had to put up with to get that floor groove sawed, the least she could do is endure the noise for five fucking minutes without coming to whine about it. She snidely replied with "Well, we agreed that after 10 you wouldn't make any noise, so I really need you to stop making noise.". I'm too nice of a person to just start screaming at her, but I'm almost there. I mean, it's 10:30 on a Thursday night in a college town, and she's whining about me moving my furniture back even though the only reason it got moved is because of her. Fucking pathetic. I don't even want to think about the lovely fights we'll have when my ribs are healed enough for me to play DDR again, sigh.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

DDR!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(marks out)

 

Oh, and what a bizatch. Is she hot at least?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Youth N Asia]

There's only ONE way out of this...

 

We both know what it is, I'm not going to use the M word though, don't want to be an accessory...

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Yup, the answer is MARIMBA!!!!

 

(I don't mind being an accessory)

 

Learn to play the Marimba, and she'll be forced to move out or be overtaken by the wonderful chiming sounds.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I hate neighbors!

 

I just got a new neighbor a month or two ago (the last one moved after being shot...great neighborhood huh?) and they are the worst ever!

 

First thing they do is nail up plywood on the fence *I* put up so that nobody could see into or out of the yard...no biggie but annoying.

 

Now they have huge loud fights all night while playing music at a level that has objects in MY house moving around.

 

I've gone over to ask them to stop and the guy who lives there tries to start a fight with me. Now I'm not going to get into a fight with the person I have to live next to for obvious reasons so I leave.

 

The next night the music is TWICE as loud and now SOMEONE eggs my house on a semi-nightly basis. One time they keyed my car too.

 

I'm trying to be mature but If they keep it up we're going to war.

[Guest KoR Fungus]

<<<DDR!!!!!!!!!!!>>>

 

Yay for DDR. My DDR situation sucks right now though, since there's no machine within 50 miles of here and I can't play at home too much for fear of that bitch calling the police or something. It probably won't be too bad with Konamix, since I know the songs well enough that I don't flail and therefore don't make much noise, but when DDRMax comes out and I try to hack my way through So Deep or Max300, she'll probably be up here by the end of the song. Bah I hope I can work something out where I play when she's not home, or something.

 

<<<Oh, and what a bizatch. Is she hot at least?>>>

 

No.

[Guest treble charged]

Yeah, the girl who lives next door to me is always banging on the wall, or something (like right now for example), add to that the people who walk around upstairs, and who talk loudly in the hall.

 

It's a good thing I don't usually need a lot of sleep.

[Guest MaxPower27]

Yeah, my neighbors belong on Jerry Springer or something.

 

I swear I'm not making any of this up

 

OK, there's a lady and two guys. The lady has one leg, she hops around on crutches. Guy #1, who me and my ex figured out, is the father of her kids, lives there, along with Guy #2, who is her current boyfriend. The kids are obnoxious little fucks, but they're kids, so I let it slide, y'know? They run around, scream at the top of their lungs at 730 in the morning, but I let it slide.

 

Anyway, in June, I'm sitting with the girlfriend, watching a Marlins' game, when all of a sudden, fucking Whitesnake (WTF?) comes cranking out of their stereo at about 11 volume. I can't even hear my TV now, and go to the edge of the fence.

 

Me: Hey guys!

Guy #1: Whadda you want?

<one legged lady laughs>

Me: Well, I was merely wondering, could you possibly turn the stereo down a few hundred decibals? My girl and I are having trouble hearing our TV.

Guy #2: Yeah, we'll see.

 

Well, apparently I didn't specify how long they should turn it down for, as Whitesnake was down for about 2 minutes, and then the Eminem comes on, at about 11. At this point, I caved and shut my sliding glass door. The music continued at this volume until I finally went out at 1130PM

 

Me (somewhat agitated): Hey!

<Radio is slammed off>

Me: Maybe you guys don't have to work tomorrow, but I sure as hell do, so could you please shut the radio off, or take the party inside please!? I'm trying to sleep, it's Wednesday night and I have to work tomorrow.

Guy #1: Well, this is our property, so we'll play our goddamn music as loud as we want. If you got a problem with that, tough shit!

<radio cranked back up>

::bleedthesKY27 dials Cape Coral Police Dept. and reports noise disturbance::

 

I hated to lose my cool. I'm actually a relatively calm, rational man, but it was just so ignorant of them, and I had to, for my sake.

 

Oh, and instead of eggs, they launched fireworks at my house on the 4th of July. My girlfriend got the liberties of calling the cops for that one, as I had to work.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Yeah, I'd just figure out what her home/away cycle is so as to know when you'll be able to do noisy activities. Still pretty sad that you'd have to resort to that just because she can't handle the slightest bit of noise.

 

One day you should be deathly quiet and wait for the smallest, barely noticeable noise to come from down there. Immediately go down there and complain. Better yet, if she comes upstairs again, say you were doing something mind-bogglingly disgusting and didn't realize it would make so much noise.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Ken]

Scratch her car with a coin.

[Guest Leena]

Geez, all you guys are too nice.

 

KoR Fungus: Why are you being nice to this bitch? I'm pretty sure you won't be thrown out for doing anything before 10pm. Tell her to fuck off, and then make more noise just to piss her off. Then when she, or her boyfriend come to your room, either A) kick his ass, or if you can't do that B) complain to your landlord that they are harassing you at late hours of the night.

 

bleedthesKY: I can sympathize with your problem. I had neighbors just like that. White trash that didn't work a day in their lives, and would play music all night. My only advice is to outsmart them. They want to shoot fireworks at your house, you concoct some devious plans that annoy them constantly.

 

You can't be nice with assholes, you have to out-asshole them.

[Guest HBK16]

Next time just tell her to fuck off Well, thats what I would do. I wouldn't be able to deal with her so I would snap.

[Guest MaxPower27]

Alina, the problem is that they don't work during the day, and I do. I'm afraid of going over the line, and then having them do something to my house.

 

The funny thing is that they're all in their 30's, and are acting like delinquents, but I'm a 19 y/o homeowner, and am still more mature than the stupid doo-doo heads

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Shit, after the basketball comment I would have went out and bought a basketball just so I could dribble that shit in the house. would have invited some friends over and tried to make one of those Nike commercials where everybody used to dribble the balls and make a song. What you should do is make loud sudden noises in the middle of the night just to piss her off too. As long as you aren't making continuous noise, everybody's allowed to have accidents. Or you could call the guys from Dirty Work.

[Guest DJ Jeff]

You should throw a huge party at 1 in the morning just to piss her off.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Do you have any friends that play bass guitar?

 

That's my weapon against asshole neighbors.

 

I've got a Peavey stack with 8 10's. Once, my downstairs neighbor was BLASTING Eminem at about 7 in the morning. I had just gotten to bed.

 

Revenge was in order.

 

That night, around 3 AM, I cranked up the ol' stack, set it against the floor, and proceeded to rattle the entire apartment building for half an hour. The upstairs neighbors were a bunch of rugby fanatics and were always partying all day and all night anyway, so they didn't give a shit. I never heard a PEEP from the downstairs guy though.

 

Well, if you're intimidating, just tell her to fuck off, just like that, to her face. Next time she comes up to bitch, just say, "Hey! Go fuck yourself!" and SMILE. that'll really shine her on.

 

If you want to get into revenge tactics, Mail her a dead fish.

 

Make the return address 1060 W. Addison in Chicago, then stick it in a public box. you're golden.

[Guest cynicalprofit]

My nieghbors are so bad and annoying that they pissed of the guy who used to live across the street so much that....HE TOOK THEIR KID HOSTAGE WITH A GUN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT! And they are on my proch all the time being loud and annoyign as fuck with such wit as "ive been waiting her 5 minutes for the last half hour"(true quote) And this kid that hangs around the girl next to, have to come over and talk to the old bitch thats on the porch adn the only words he seems to know is motherfucker and im seventeen.

 

Seriously stupid ppl.

[Guest ant_7000]

Shit, I hating the guy next door to my apartment building (He moved now) that muthafucka would always complain about everything, He would call the police on us (Me and mom) for the loud noise, but we only t.v. somewhat loud (but not that loud enough to hear unless he stepped out into the apartment hallway) because we have trouble hearing over our heater when our t.v. is on because its so loud we have to turn it up the t.v. a little bit. Even when we wasn't watching t.v. or the volume was low he still call the police on us when other neighbors would be blasting music at all times of night he wouldn't say anything them. Im a respectful neighbor and all, if you have a problem with me just knock on the door (the asshole lived right next to me) and state your beef and I respect that, but no he wants to call the police on us only, when he and other neighbors are loud as well.

[Guest Bosstones Fan]

In college, I had this big, dumb bitch that lived above me. EVERY DAMN NIGHT she had people over and they would party until all hours of the night. Their partying, of course, included incessant pounding on the floor, along with the occasional loud vocal outburst.

 

This annoyed the shit out of me, since my job forced me to wake up at 6 a.m. every day of the week (to be there by 7). My revenge was do all kinds of annoying shit. On numerous occasions I would:

 

- walk upstairs, knock on her door, and then haul ass around the corner so that I could listen for her to open the door, stick her head out into the hall and say, "Who is it? Don't be fuckin' with me." Yes, an old trick...but it proved to be quite soothing for me.

 

- call her at weird times of day (usually very early in the morning when I KNOW she was sleeping), and either sit in silence until she hung up, or ask for "Ahmed." After the 10th or 11th time, she started screaming at me, "Ahemd doesn't fucking live here! Quit calling me!" Again, much fun for me. (BTW: I got her number because I worked in the Housing department on campus. Since this was campus housing, I simply used my position as a university employee to dig up the number for her apartment and use it to my advantage.)

 

I also once slipped a piece of paper with a big middle finger drawn on it that said, "YOU SUCK!"

 

Then, finally, one night I had enough and just called the campus cops on her fat ass. Within two minutes of my complaint, her "party" was shut down and I was told by the dispatcher that that would be their only warning. Sadly, the semester ended the next week before I had the chance to get her kicked off campus.

 

As Alina said, you have to out-asshole the assholes.