SJL Metal (September 19, 2002)

September 20, 2002

Before the cameras start rolling

A Dark Match: by the newest member to the SJL Family...Wildchild!! Please give him feedback.

Edwin: "Say, Axis, what've you heard about this Wildchild fellow?"

Axis: "Well, Edwin, all I've heard is that he's from the Bahamas, and has some kind of acrobatic background. One of our talent scouts discovered him working the indy circuit down in southern Florida, and according to what I've heard, he's pretty amazing with what he can do."

(in the ring)

Funyon: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen-minute time limit. In the ring to my right, from New York City, weighing in at 241 pounds, Matthew Kivell!"

(Kivell raises both arms to a mixed reaction, and begins scowling in order to try to illicit a heel response)

("The Everlasting Gaze" by Smashing Pumpkins begins to play over the loudspeaker. The Wildchild comes from backstage to a mild chorus of cheers. He looks around the crowd, as if somewhat panicked, but smiling nonetheless, and slowly begins to make his way to the ring.)

Funyon: "And his opponent, from the Bahamas, weighing in at 217 pounds, the Wildchild!"

Axis: "And here he comes!"

Edwin: "I must say, that lad is quite colorful."

Axis: "Just a quick bit of trivia, the colors he's wearing on his face and tights are the colors found on the national flag of the Bahamas."

(Wildchild slides underneath the bottom rope, gets to his feet, and begins to briefly thrash his head up and down, headbanger-style, in time to the music. He smiles broadly at Matthew Kivell, and extends his hand in a sportsman-like gesture, to which Kivell responds by flipping Wildchild the bird, to a chorus of boos.)

Axis: "I wonder what's eating Kivell?"

Edwin: "I wish I knew; I walked past him backstage earlier this evening, and he didn't appear to be upset; perhaps he hadn't yet heard whom he'd be facing tonight."

Axis: "You know, now that you mention it, I had heard mention of Kivell not being happy about having to face rookies all the time; perhaps he's starting to resent his spot on the food chain."

Edwin: "Well, if he wants to do something about that, then perhaps he should win a few more matches, eh?"

(Wildchild and Kivell circle each other as the referee signals the timekeeper to ring the bell.)

Axis: "Bell's rung, and we're live in the ring..."

(Wildchild and Kivell go into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Kivell gets the advantage and shoves Wildchild to the mat. Kivell begins to flex his arms in a double biceps pose, as Wildchild rolls through back onto his feet.)

Axis: "It looks like Kivell may have a strength advantage over the Wildchild."

(... as Kivell and Wildchild go back into a collar-and-elbow tie-up...)

Edwin: "Yeah, but he's not doing himself any favors by posing like that, all he's doing is giving the Wildchild time to plan out a counter-offensive..."

(... no sooner were the words out of Edwin's mouth, than Wildchild took Kivell off his feet with a traditional arm drag...)

Edwin: "Just like that."

(As Kivell gets back to his feet, he sees Wildchild sticking his tongue out at him; he charges at Wildchild's midsection, and is met with a Japanese-style armdrag. Kivell again quickly gets back to his feet, this time attempting to knock Wildchild down with a lariat. Wildchild ducks the lariat attempt, and strikes Kivell hard to the back of his left knee with a back heel kick. Wildchild then rushes to the ropes to Kivell's left, and rushes back at Kivell with a running elbow smash to the left temple, which puts him back down. As Kivell struggles to his feet, he is met with a standing dropkick, which sends him through the ropes, onto the ring apron, to a good reaction from the crowd..)

Edwin: "Swift little fellow, isn't he?"

(Wildchild crouches in the middle of the ring, eyeing Kivell as he tries to get back to his feet. When Kivell is almost fully upright, Wildchild rushes towards the corner nearest to Kivell, jumps to the second turnbuckle pad, and springboards over to top rope towards a surprised Kivell. Wildchild hooks Kivell's head in a headlock, before using his momentum to swing Kivell off the ring apron, and drive him down to the arena floor face-first in a Tornado DDT. The crowd reacts to this loudly with a "Holy Shit" chant.)

Axis: "Holy crap!"

Edwin: "Did you see that?!"

(Wildchild rolls back into the ring and absorbs the adulation from the crowd, as Kivell lay motionless outside the ring.)

Edwin: "Looks like that talent scout knew what he was talking about; this kid could have a bright future in this business."

Axis: "Beautiful sequence of moves by the Wildchild, taking advantage of his speed to knock Matthew Kivell to the outside of the ring, in order to set up for this:"

(The television screen splits as a replay of the springboard DDT appears in a window in the upper left corner of the screen.)

Axis: "Here we see the Wildchild running towards the corner, and springing off the second rope, onto Kivell, for the tornado DDT."

Edwin: "Amazing. Simply amazing."

(The formerly split screen returns to normal size, as Kivell is seen finally getting to his feet, in time to the referee's 6 count. Wildchild takes this opportunity to run at the ropes, and leaps atop them, looking down on Kivell for a split second as he balances on the top rope...)

Axis: "Tremendous balance by the Wildchild; he can do just about anything from this point..."

(Anything turns out to be a "Shooting Star" dropkick, as Wildchild executes a forward flip off the top rope, before striking Kivell in the face with a high angle dropkick, which knocks him, staggering, into the fan barricade. Wildchild uses the momentum of the dropkick to vault back to the ring apron.)

Axis: "Unbelieveable a..."

(Before Axis can complete his thought, Wildchild turns his back to the still-dazed Kivell, before vaulting from off the second rope, to strike Kivell with an Asai moonsault.)

Axis: "...GILITY being displayed by the Wildchild! Oh my! What a moonsault!"

(... as Wildchild lays into Kivell with punches to the head...)

Edwin: "Quite agile indeed. You mentioned earlier that he had an acrobatic background. Do you happen to know of what sort?"

(... as Wildchild rolls Kivell back into the ring...)

Axis: "Well, if my information is correct, he used to work with his parents in a circus, as part of a high wire act."

Edwin: "I suppose that would explain his balance."

(As Wildchild re-enters the ring under the bottom rope, Kivell, backpedals away from him, on his hands, towards the opposite corner, while motioning for the referee. When the Wildchild begins to draw nearer to Kivell, Kivell begins to scream something about his eye, while grabbing the referee by the collar with one hand, and motioning towards the knot above his left eye (inflicted by the earlier running elbow to his temple) with the other hand.)

Axis: "What's Kivell up to here?"

(With the referee's attention turned away from Wildchild and the lower half of Matthew Kivell, Kivell kicks an unsuspecting Wildchild squarely in the groin...)

Edwin: "Ooooh!"

Axis: "Why that dirty rat!"

(With Wildchild momentarily slowed down, Kivell pushes the refereee away from him, stands up, and drops the Wildchild with a punch to the face.)

Axis: "And Matthew Kivell regains control of the match after kicking the Wildchild in the crotch area."

Edwin: (shrieking) "Crotch 'area?' Are you daft, man? Kivell kicked him in his twig and berries!"

(... as Kivell whips Wildchild to the ropes, and fells him with a standing clothesline...)

Axis: "Perhaps it's these types of shortcuts that are the reasons why Kivell is stuck at the bottom of the totem pole."

(... as Kivell picks up the Wildchild by the hair, before dropping him back onto the mat with a scoop slam...)

Axis: "Kivell with a scoop slam..."

(... Kivell runs to the ropes, and attempts to nail Wildchild with a running elbow drop, but he moves out of the way...)

Axis: "Kivell can't find the elbow..."

(Wildchild gets back to his feet, and runs to the ropes, ducking another standing clothesline attempt by Kivell, and knocking him down with a Cross-Body Block, only to have Kivell roll through the cross-body, and hook Wildchild's left leg for a pin attempt...)

Axis: "Does he have him here? One... two..."

(... as Wildchild kicks out...)

Axis: "No! He doesn't have him."

(As Wildchild gets to his feet, Kivell kicks him in the midsection, and plants him with a DDT. Wildchild's head is seen bouncing off the mat as a large portion of the crowd gasps.)

Axis: "Oh no! That could do it; one... two..."

(... as Wildchild kicks out...)

Axis: "Not yet! The Wildchild's still in the match!"

(Kivell whips Wildchild to the far ropes, but Wildchild leaps to the middle rope, curls into a ball as he springs off, and knocks Kivell down with his rolling "Pinball" attack, to a strong crowd reaction.)

Axis: "Oh my GAWD! What was that?!"

Edwin: "I don't know! It looked like bounced off the ropes like a rubber ball, and flung himself at Kivell!"

(... as both wrestlers get to their feet, Kivell charges at Wildchild with a lariat attempt, which he ducks, and as Kivell return off the ropes, Wildchild leaps at Kivell's upper torso, as if he were about to attempt a Lou Thesz press...)

Axis: "Thesz Press by the Wildchild..."

(... only for Wildchild to instead lean back and toss Kivell overhead, monkey-flip style, while still airborne, flipping back to an upright position before hitting the ground. The crowd pops loudly for the throw.)

Axis: "No! That wasn't a Thesz Press. It was... it was... I have no idea what that was..."

Edwin: "It was almost like he did a monkey flip in the middle of the air!

(As Kivell staggers back to his feet, Wildchild nails him with a leg lariat that knocks him completely outside the ring. Wildchild immediately leaps to the top turnbuckle, and measures Kivell as he waits for him to get back to his feet.)

Edwin: "What's he about to do here?"

Axis: "I have no idea, but I'm sure it's going to be impressive."

(As Kivell stands up, Wildchild dives off the top turnbuckle with a twisting corkscrew attack, sending him back down. The crowd pops huge for the dive.)

Axis: "Incredible corkscrew dive by the Wildchild!"

(Wildchild nips up, and ascends to the ring apron, once again measuring Kivell while he waits for him to get back to his feet...)

Edwin: "Now what's he up to?"

Axis: "I don't know, but it's clear that the Wildchild wants to try to use his speed and agility to beat his opponents."

Edwin: "Well, he's certainly got enough for it..."

(... as Kivell gets back to his feet, Wildchild runs the length of the ring apron, before diving onto Kivell with a Cross-Body block...)

Axis: "Wildchild off the apron with a flying body PRESS!"

(Wildchild rolls Kivell back into the ring, crawling under the bottom rope after him...)

Axis: "Wildchild rolls Kivell back into the ring; maybe he's going to try to put him away here..."

(Wildchild picks Kivell up in a vertical suplex position, spinning 270 degrees, before dropping him down. He springs to his feet, and runs to the opposite corner, leaping to the top turnbuckle in one motion.)

Axis: "I don't know what he wants to do here, but whatever it is, he can't think he can reach Kivell from all the way over there!"

(Wildchild turns his back to Kivell, and flips off the turnbuckle in a moonsault...)

Axis: "Moonsault~!"

(... only to have Kivell bring his knees up as Wildchild starts to land...)

Axis: "... but Kivell gets his knees up!"

Edwin: "Typical rookie mistake; he should have known better than to try that move from all the way over there... But, on the bright side, I was amazed that he was actually able to travel that far."

Axis: "No question; if Kivell hadn't brought his knees up, the Wildchild actually WOULD have landed that moonsault. That's pretty damn amazing in it's own right!"

(Kivell slowly makes his way back onto his feet, and drags Wildchild up by his hair. He whips him to the ropes, and catches him on the return with a tilt-a-whirl slam, following it up with a cover...)

Axis: "Will that be enough? One... two..."

(... as Wildchild kicks out...)

Axis: "And again, the Wildchild kicks out! Give him credit for being a tough son-of-a-gun!"

Edwin: "This little Wildchild does indeed appear to be resilient; I had my doubts when he lost control of the match earlier, but he seems to be able to take it as good as he gives out."

(Kivell locks in a reverse chinlock on Wildchild...)

Axis: "Reverse chinlock applied on the Wildchild. Do you think Kivell's starting to get a little frustrated here?

Edwin: "Well, I think he's decided that since he hasn't been able to pin him, he may have to knock him out..."

(After about two minutes, the referee picks up Wildchild's left arm, checking to see whether or not he's still conscious...)

Axis: "Ref's checking the arm..."

(... as the referee drops Wildchild's arm a second time...)

Edwin: "Well, win, lose, or draw, this Wildchild has fairly impressed me in his in-ring debut..."

(... as the referee goes to drop Wildchild's arm a third time...)

Axis: "I guess this is it..."

(... but the arm doesn't drop...)

Axis: "NO! That's not it!"

(Wildchild struggles to his feet, and punches Kivell in the stomach, before sending him to the ropes. Kivell once again attempts to fell Wildchild with a lariat, which once again misses. Wildchild catches Kivell on the return with a Rolling Elbow, which strikes him directly on the already bruised left temple.)

Axis: "Rolling Elbow~!"

Edwin: "C'mon, kid! You can do it!"

(Wildchild whips Kivell to the corner, leapfrogging him as he runs into the turnbuckle, landing perched atop the top turnbuckle, and measuring Kivell, before leaping after him, and dropping him with a Flying Knee Attack, which triggers another huge reaction from the crowd.)

Axis: "Oh... my... GAWD! That was amazing!"

(Wildchild nips up, and claws at the air above his head with both hands, making a motion which resembles grabbing something out of the air, and pulling it towards his body.)

Axis: "Not quite sure what that was all about..."

Edwin: "Maybe he's going to try to end it here."

(Wildchild pulls Kivell to his feet, and appears to be attempting to whip him to the ropes, but Kivell pokes him in the eyes to stop him...)

Axis: "And again, Matthew Kivell taking shortcuts to try to win this match..."

(Kivell attempts to whip Wildchild to the ropes, but Wildchild holds on to his wrists. Wildchild twists Kivell's arm, and runs at Kivell, underneath his arm, hooking Kivell's left arm with his left arm as he floats over the top of him. He lands with his back pressed against the top of Kivell's head as he hooks Kivell's right arm with his own, and has only had his feet on the mat for a split-second, before he spins around, so that he is bent over, with Kivell stretched over his back.)

Axis: "I think Wildchild might have him here! It looks like he might be going for a Mexican clutch bomb..."

(Wildchild straightens slightly, before hitting Kivell with his Wild Ride, a Mexican Clutch Bomb variation, dropping Kivell squarely on his head, to a HUGE pop from the crowd.)

Axis: "He hit it!"

Edwin: "Now that WAS a rather wild ride..."

(The referee's hand slaps the mat, as the crowd counts along loudly...)

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

(... as the ref motions to the timekeeper to ring the bell...)

Axis: "What an impressive debut for the Wildchild! Assaulting Matthew Kivell with an arsenal of aerial moves, before finally finishing him with, as you so eloquently put it, Edwin, a 'Wild Ride!'"

Edwin: "Well, I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised by this young man. He could have a very bright future someday in this company."

September 20, 2002

The Card

SINGLES MATCH

Ejiro Fasaki vs. Blank

- Both men couldn't get the win on Crimson, and as a result, get another shot here.

SINGLES MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Jack The Ripper

- Johnny is an extremely impressive newbie, whereas Jack was an established jobber. Could he be looking to shake that reputation? Winning this match could do that.

SINGLES MATCH

Jacob Helmsley vs. Spike Jenkins

- Since, at the time of writing, I have no idea what happened in these guy's respective matches on Crimson, I'll not say anything here.

WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH 1

Thor vs. Judge Mental vs. Leon Sharpe vs. Flexxx

- Quite an assortment of people here. We have God boy, Thor, psycho guy, Mental, shirt flogging guy, Sharpe, and... Erm, Flexxx. Anyway, the winner here will go into a three way match sometime on the next few shows, with the winner of #2, MVS or Fugue, and CIA, for the World title.

MAIN EVENT

WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH 2

Mak Francis vs. Kamikaze vs. Tim Dillon vs. Manson

- Same deal as match #1 - an assortment if people fighting for a chance to get CIA's World title. Mak will be desperate to get that right.

September 20, 2002

::BOOM!::

A huge neon-purple pyro goes off in the middle of the entrance way, as a multi-colored stroblelight hits in the arena, still engulfed in darkness, as the arena turns into a rave-like state. "Rise" by The Cult blasts through the speakers, as the fans rise from their seats. Smoke hisses out from the entrance way, as Matt Myers steps through the smoke, and on to the entrance ramp. He looks out at the crowd, as he frowns at the fans. He begins walking down the ramp, jeering at the fans.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of…well…should I even be talking now?” Axis says, as he watches Matt Myers strut down the entrance ramp, “Well, it looks like Matt Myers has something to say…and he’s going to say it now.”

”Ugh. This better be good,” Edwin murmurs, “All I hear is sWo this, sWo that…we’re the sWo…blah, blah blah…”

“Bah, Edwin! Of course he’s got something IMPORTANT to say! In fact, I heard that he has a major announcement, one that affects the sWo as we know it!” The Suicide King says. As Matt Myers slides under the bottom rope, the fans react in strong boos. He’s announced by Funyon, but Funyon almost has to yell over the boos!

“LADIES AND GENTLMENT…PLEASE WELCOME, THE CO-LEADER OF THE S…W…O…MATTTTTTTTT MMMYYYEERRRS!!!” Funyon says, as the boos once again fill the arena. Myers snatches the microphone from Funyon, as Funyon quickly exits the ring. “Rise” dies down, as he holds the microphone up. The lights to the arena return, as he starts pacing around the ring…

“Oh, come on. Let’s get this show on the road, just say it already…” Edwin says.

“I’ve come out here…with an announcement that will affect the entire sWo as we know it,” Matt Myers says.

The crowd boos.

“Tisk..tisk…” The Suicide King says, “I really wish that the crowd would show Mr. Myers a little more respect…”

“As you all know, weeks have gone by, and it looks like the sWo has been getting worse and worse and worse. We’ve got members…attacking members!” Matt Myers says.

The crowd…CHEERS!

“…We’ve got…sWo vs. sWo MATCHES!” Matt Myers says once again.

The crowd gives a bigger pop.

“And we’ve also got members sacrificing members to SAVE THEIR ASS!” Matt Myers says, still remembering the event of the tag match a few weeks ago.

Again, a big, BIG POP!

“But…tonight…it comes to an end. I know what’s wrong. I’ve been searching, and I found the person for blame…I know what needs to be done…” Matt Myers pauses, “And I also know what…sacrifices…need to be made.”

“Sacrifices?” Axis says, “What does he mean…”

“I don’t know…but it don’t sound good…” Edwin says.

“Shhhh! He’s talking!” The Suicide King says.

“There’s one man…” Matt Myers says, “One man…one cancer…and he’s IN the sWo…”

A huge pop from the crowd.

“Oh my god! Who could it be?” Axis says, “Who is it? Fugue? Spike? A new member…Who?”

“In the sWo? What…how could…” The Suicide King says.

“Ladies and gentlmen…your poison…your cancer…your…disease…is none other…” Matt Myers becomes silent, looking out at the anxious crowd.

…

….

“Than…”

….

“Aww…hell…why the fuck should I tell you guys?!” Matt screams, “Wanna know what? I like surprises. You do to. So at the end of the night…you will know…you will ALL KNOW!”

The Cult’s “Rise” blasts over the speakers, as Matt Myers carelessly throws the microphone behind him, as he exits the ring. The crowd boos the man of surprises, as the commentators acknowledge it.

“What a shocker, King! Tonight, there will be one less sWo member!” Edwin says.

“Bah, I don’t understand this at all…who…and…I mean, why?” The Suicide King says.

“I don’t know, but folks, be sure to stay tuned. Everything is sure to explode right here tonight on Smarks Junior League Metal! Don’t go away!” Axis says, as it fades into a comcerical…

September 20, 2002

Axis looks to the camera, “Let’s go to the ring for our opening contest between Ejiro Fasaki and Blank.”

“Jesus Christ, why?”, complains The Suicide King, “Neither guy can get a win to save their lives. Fajita couldn’t even beat Jack The Ripper or Cutthroat… CUTTHROAT!!! I passed Cutthroat’s house last week and his mother was taking him down. At least Blank has defeated current SLJ European Champion Leon Sharpe, but even that was weeks ago and Sharpe’s long since gotten his revenge.”

Edwin retorts, “It’s a match both men have to win and neither can afford to lose! It’s just chock full of drama. Actually it’s over flowing when you actually look at it. The drama is all over my shoes too. Damn it, drama makes a horrible stain. Nothing gets drama out. Not even club soda, I’ve checked.”

Funyon looks a little tired of all the talk about drama, especially since he knows that all you have to do is dig it out with a bone… “AHEM!”.

“Oh… whoops, forgot about Funyon, go ahead man.”

Funyon gets his announcing voice together and projects, “Introducing first…”

“Sellout” pounds into The Hotdog Palace as Ejiro Fasaki makes his arrival. Fasaki gets a pretty warm pretty-close-but-not-quite-hometown welcome from the sell out crowd. Wearing green this evening, Fasaki hops into the ring and climbs onto the middle rope. Ejiro raises his fist into the air as the fans cheer on. Funyon stands in the middle of the rings and announces, “He hails from Sarasota, Florida and weighs in tonight at 188 pounds. He is EEEEEEEEEEEEJIROOOOOOO FASAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! And his opponent…”

As Quarashi’s “Stick ‘Em Up” hits the speakers as Blank ollies from the backstage area into the arena to a chorus of boos. Followed by Mr. Nishiyama, Blank skateboards his way down to the ring, doing a both a nose grind and a kick flip in the process, before leaping from his deck to the ring apron. He climbs the ropes on the outside and raises his arms to the sky as the fans boo their little hearts out. Funyon yells to the crowd “He is accompanied to the ring by his manager, Mr. Nishiyama, and weighs in at 190 lbs.. He is the wrestling vagabond … he is the man with no name… he is BLANNNNNNK!”

Referee Eddy Long signals for the bell and we are off and running. Blank takes off his baseball cap and whips it at Fasaki in a show of blatant disregard. Fasaki ignores the insult and begins to pace about the ring. Blank in response, drops into a martial arts stance and readies himself for the coming match. Fasaki ducks in for a single leg takedown but Blank quickly steps away, turns and blasts Fasaki in the chops with a roundhouse kick. Ejiro goes flying to the canvas and attempts to gather his wits as Blank raises his arms in victory and jumps to the middle rope to taunt the crowd and bask in their hatred. “Looks like first blood goes to Blank,” calls out King. “Yeah, but look how he’s giving Fasaki plenty of time to recover,” tosses back Edwin, “You have to stay on your man if you want to make it big anywhere… but especially here in the SJL.”

Blank smiles to himself as Fasaki regains his feet and shakes the cobwebs loose. They size each other up again. This time Blank strikes first with a kick to the gut and a series of chops that send Ejiro back to a corner. Blank lays in a punch, then a jab, then a sidekick to the chest, a kick to the ribs, and finishes up the combination with a high kick to the head that drops Fasaki strait down to the mat. Blank backs away with a smile on his face as Mr. Nishiyama cheers him on from the floor. Fasaki growls in frustration, quickly gets back to his feet, and charges in for another single leg attempt. Only to have Blank quickly step away and let loose with another roundhouse kick. “Blocked by Fasaki! SCREEEEMING ELBOOOOOW!” yells out Axis, as Fasaki creams Blank in the side of the head with the big elbow that sends his opponent to the mat. Fasaki dives on top of Blank for a …

One!

Two!

NO! Blank puts the right shoulder up. But with Blank’s arm in the air, it’s easy for Fasaki to grab a hold of it and quickly turn Blank over into a Fujiwara armbar. Fasaki wrenches back on Blank’s arm and presses downward with his body, trying to separate the shoulder. But Blank refuses to give up this early in a match, seriously how embarrassing would that be? Blank presses up on his toes, alleviating the pressure, and flips himself over onto his back. From there, Blank grabs a hold of Ejiro’s hair and forces his way back up to a vertical base. Fasaki tries to wrench away on an armbar but Blank drives a knee into his stomach to break the hold and quickly spins to take Ejiro down with a leg sweep. Blank turns his back and attempts a quick standing moonsault but Ejiro brings up the knees and catches Blank coming down in the stomach. Blank falls to one side and grasps at his rib cage as Fasaki regains his feet. Fasaki quickly grabs Blank by the right arm and takes him over in an armdrag. And quickly tries to slap on a cross armbreaker! But Blank manages to keep his arms hooked together. “Every time they are on their feet, Blank has command… but when they go to the mat, Ejiro is able to gain an advantage,” explains Axis, “It’s the classic match up between martial arts and pure wrestling.” Blank manages to get his feet underneath him and get his body weight on top of Ejiro for a …

One!

Two!

NO!!! Fasaki not only kicks out but forces Blank’s arms apart so he can use the full power of the cross armbreaker on his opponent. “That can hyperextend an arm like it was made of gummi,” shouts Edwin. “Gummi?” asks King. “You know, like the bears?” Ejiro cranks back on the arm as Blank flails about like a flounder. Finally, Blank manages to toss a leg underneath the bottom rope and Eddy Long forces Ejiro to release the hold. Ejiro quickly grabs the arm and drags Blank out towards the center of the ring, but Blank is able to kick Fasaki in the head from the mat in order to free himself from Ejiro’s grasp. Finding his feet quickly, Blank strikes with a spinning wheel kick that snaps Ejiro’s head back and his body to the canvas. But Ejiro fights his way right back to his feet, only to get smashed back down with a spinning splits kick to the head. “Fortunately for Blank, working on his arm doesn’t really hamper his offensive capabilities,” explains Axis. But Ejiro still pulls himself up by the ropes and staggers towards Blank’s waiting arms. Blank rears back with a roundhouse kick, “Blocked again!” reports Axis, “SCREEEEMING ELBOOOOOW!”

“… DUCKED!!! Blank with a German SUPLEX!!! COVER…..”

One!

Two!

Thr..NO!!!

Ejiro kicks away! Ejiro tries to find his feet, but Blank quickly grabs him in a front facelock and drives him into the canvas with a DDT! Blank sticks Ejiro’s head strait into the mat, causing Ejiro’s body arches from the pain until Blank simply shoves Ejiro aside and onto his back. Blank regains his vertical base and proceeds to kick the fallen Fasaki strait in the ribs, rolling his opponent all the way to the arena floor. Blank quickly hops to the outside and pulls a table out from underneath the ring and sets it up. Sensing that there might be some cheating on its way, Eddy Long begins to move Blank away from the table. Of course, this allows Mr. Nishiyama to sneak in and blister Ejiro’s face first into the table. Turning around, Long begins to move Nishiyama away while Blank slides back inside the ring. With Long still distracted, Blank springs to the top rope and DRIVES Ejiro face-first through the table with a rocker dropper! Painfully, Blank pulls himself off the floor and tosses Fasaki back inside the ring. Axis calls out, “This has to be over… it has to be… Blank hooks a leg. One, two, and three… NOOO!!! EJIRO KICKS OUT!”

“Sweet mutherfuckin’ Jesus, how in the hell did Fasaki kick out of that?” asks Edwin. “It must be the convulsions of death… like when you chop the head off a chicken?” answers King, “Yuck. Look at Fasaki’s face. It looks like the farmer lost his axe and just bashed the chicken in the face with a hammer.” Indeed Fasaki is a mess, with blood pouring out of what we can only assume be a broken nose. Seeing the damage he has done, Blank begins to work over the nose, dropping a series of three flipping legdrops across Fasaki’s face. He makes a cover.

One!

Two!

Thre..NO!!!

Not frustrated at all, Blank calmly turns Fasaki over and stands above his opponent. Blank slaps his chest, twirls an imaginary mustache, and wipes the sweat his head off onto Fasaki before reaching down and hooking on a camel’s clutch. Fasaki winces in pain for a moment before Blank readjusts his hands and locks them down across Ejiro’s gushing nose. Fasaki begins to scream out in pain as his nose gets crushed into his face. Reaching deep down within himself, Ejiro forces himself to his knees, but Blank keeps the clutch locked in tight. Slowly, Ejiro begins to force his legs underneath him and press upwards. Blank simply releases the hold and drives forearm after forearm down across Ejiro’s face, driving him back down to his knees and back into position for the camel’s clutch. Eddy Long is right in Ejiro’s face, checking to see if he’s ready to submit to the pain but Fasaki refuses to quit. Instead, Ejiro begins to fight his way back up again against all of Blank’s pressure. Suddenly, Ejiro reverses his direction and scoots backwards through Blank’s legs and flipping Blank forwards onto his back. Blank quickly kicks Ejiro in the face from his back to keep from being at a disadvantage. With Fasaki stunned, Blank sets and drops down with what would be a jawbreaker if his head were not being held against Fasaki’s face. Grabbing the mangled remained of his nose, Fasaki rolls to the ropes and tries to cover himself up while Blank continues to kick away at his fallen opponent, continuously trying to score more blows against Fasaki’s face. “You know, I’ve never seen Ejiro’s face all bloody before… it’s a good look for him,” quips King. Edwin replies, “I’m sure it would look good on you too, come over here.”

Blank picks Ejiro off the canvas and slams him hard into the mat before climbing to the top rope. Blank readies himself and waits for Fasaki to climb to his feet… and launches himself with a missile dropkick that hits…. NOTHING BUT AIR! As Ejiro sidesteps and Blank ends up taking a nasty landing on the back of his head. Edwin fires off, “I sure hope Blank likes his eggs scrambled! I’m more into omelets myself.” Ejiro slowly gathers himself and catches the rising Blank with a spinning neckbreaker, continuing to punish Blank’s neck. Ejiro quickly collects Blank and snapmares him over in position for a Hennig necksnap. Fasaki hauls Blank up and ducks behind. Rising Blank up and over, Fasaki crunches the back of Blank’s neck with, as Axis would put it, “BACKDROPAAAAAAAA!” Ejiro hooks Blank’s legs for a …

One!

Two!

NO! Blank kicks away easily after two. Ejiro picks Blank up by the arm and Irish Whips him into a corner before following up with a running high knee to the face! With Blank stunned for the moment, Fasaki lays in a series of elbows to the side of the head before unleashing another screaming elbow to the head. Blank slumps down in the corner while Ejiro moves back in order to get another head of steam. Ejiro charges forward … and gets obliterated with one big spin wheel kick! Blank goes down and hooks the legs for a …

One!

Two!

NO! This time Ejiro is able to get a shoulder up in time to avoid the fall. Blank pulls Ejiro off the canvas and tosses Fasaki against the ropes for a elbow that misses… but the knee to the stomach does not and Ejiro goes flipping into the air. Blank quickly maneuvers over Fasaki and hits the standing moonsault, and the a summersault senton that drives all the air out of Ejiro. Blank grabs Fasaki by the hair while still on the mat and rains punch after punch into the bridge of Ejiro’s nose. Blank leans over and makes a cover for …

One!

Two!

Thr..NO! Ejiro kicks away just in time. Blank raises Fasaki up and whips him into a corner. Blank takes a few steps back and starts off with a cartwheel into a back flip and finally into a spinning heel kick to the corner. Unfortunately Fasaki had dodged out of the way! Blank goes flying over the top rope to the arena floor in a heap. Mr. Nishiyama checks on his charge, to make sure no serious injury had occurred, when the manager gets taken out by surprise with a baseball slide from Fasaki! Fasaki goes to the outside, and blows a bloody snot rocket onto Nishiyama to which all of the announcers react with “EWWWWW~!” Fasaki takes Blank and sends him back into the ring and quickly goes in after him. Blank tries to pull himself away from Fasaki but Fasaki pulls him back by the legs and mounts his opponent. Ejiro throws punch after punch into Blank’s exposed face, again and again and again and again until referee Eddy Long forces him to break off the series of closed fists. Fasaki takes a hold of Blank and drives him into the canvas with a reverse neckbreaker continuing to work over the neck. Ejiro picks Blank up and tires for another neckbreaker, but Blank continues the spin, countering the hold and coming out with the DDT. Blank takes a few moments to shake the kinks out of his neck while laying in a series of kicks to his fallen opponent. Blank yanks Ejiro’s limp form off the mat and shoves him back into a corner. Blank lays in a combination of blows, culminating with a series of three strait roundhouse kicks to the face. Backing off, Blank allows Ejiro to simply collapse to the canvas in a bloody heap. “Oh come on, he’s staining that nice clean mat,” taunts The Suicide King as Edwin and Axis look at him in disgust. Blank collects the mess formerly known as Ejiro Fasaki and whips him into the ropes for a frankensteiner that drives Ejiro’s head square into the mat. Blank keeps his mounted position and lays in a number of hard right hands into Ejiro’s face with measured precision before leaning back and hooking a leg for a ...

One!

Two!

Thre..NO!

Blank attempts to whip Ejiro into the ropes, but Ejiro reverse and sends Blank into the ropes for a clothesline, but Blank ducks underneath Ejiro’s outstretched arm and continues to build momentum off the opposite side. Ejiro also hits the ropes after his miss and both men collide in the center of the ring, both going for high cross body blocks. Both men land in a heap and roll away from each other as the referee begins to put on a ten count. Both men rise up rather quickly though, on opposite sides of the ring, near the ropes. When, out of nowhere, Mr. Nishiyama quickly hops onto the apron and grabs a hold of Ejiro from behind!!! “Come on referee! That can’t be legal. You know, unless it is. But it isn’t!” Edwin shouts from the announce both. Blank motions to his throat, as though he is about to hurl all over the place. “Here it comes!,” shouts King. And Blank sprays a mouthful of red mist… right into his manager as Ejiro dodges out of the way just in time! Mr. Nishiyama falls from the apron to the arena floor, blinded. Blank looks down at his manager, yelling at him in frustration. Blank turns and falls right into…

“Cobra crossface!!!” yells out Axis, “Fasaki took him down with the Fujiwara armbar and slapped his favorite move right on!”

Blank screams out in pain as Ejiro wrenches back on the neck and shoulder, his face a bloody mask of fury. Eddy Long checks Blank closely, checking to see if he wants to give it up. Blank blocks out the pain and tries to push himself to the ropes with his legs since both of his arms are locked in the hold. Dragging Fasaki along on his quest to reach the ropes, Blank’s face contorts in terrible pain. Ejiro wrenches back furiously screaming out, “ASK HIM!!!” … But Blank still refuses to submit to the pain, although he’s nowhere near the ropes. The life seems to drain away from Blank’s eyes as he remains in the hold and Ejiro continues to arch backwards with all of his might. Seeing that Blank is no longer even attempting to move, Long takes a close look…

… and signals for the bell!!!

DING! DING! DING!

Ejiro releases the hold and climbs to his feet. The referee raises his arm in victory as Ejiro lets out a roar of victory. He climbs the middle rope and raises a fist to the crowd, who reward his effort with an excellent display of appreciation.

Funyon climbs into the ring, “Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has declared that Blank is unable to continue… the winner of the match… EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJIRO FASAKI!!!

September 20, 2002

(The camera's mysteriously cut backstage to where SJL's Ben Hardy, stands with THE WORLD'S GREATEST WRESTLER THAT EVER LIVED IN THE WORLD BECAUSE HE IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins, standing in front of the SJL Metal symbol.)

BH: Ben Hardy, back stage here with the sWo's, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins. Now, Spike, why did you request some interview time?

HSJ: I will tell you why Ben. I just want to know, What the hell is going on around here?

BH: Well, what do you mean?

HSJ: What do I mean? Ben, have you see the rest of the line up for Metal tonight?

BH: Why, yes. I have.

HSJ: Ben, answer me this. Why are people like MENTAL JUDGE or LEON SHARPE getting shots at the World title, when I am put in a little match against some pipe wielding...FREAK?

BH: I don't know...

HSJ: How in the hell, does Mental Judge and Leon Sharpe get shots at the World Title over ME? Ben, last week, who beat the World Champion in a tag team match?

BH: You and Matt Myers.

HSJ: That's right. Me. I beat C.I.A. in a tag match. How does that alone NOT get me a title shot?

(Ben just shrugs his shoulders.)

HSJ: It is because of backstage politics. People don't want to see "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins as The SJL World Champion. Because they know, that they cannot beat me.

BH: I don't think that could be it...

HSJ: That is only part of it. You know what else? It is the booking around here. Who does the Booking around here? Edwin. Do you think Edwin would like to see me as World Champion?

BH: I think that he thinks you haven't proven to be World Champion material yet...

HSJ: Me? Not World Champion Material? Ben, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING? I am the best athlete in the SJL. And I am not World Champion material? I need to prove myself to Edwin?

(Hollywood stops to think for a second)

HSJ: You know what. I do need to prove myself tonight. And I will prove myself against that.....FREAK....tonight. But that's not all Ben. I am making an OPEN CHALLENGE to any champion here in the SJL. Which is Leon Sharpe as the European Champion, or as C.I.A. as the World Champion? But since C.I.A. knows that he can't beat me, and is too scared to get in the ring with me, I guess that leaves Leon Sharpe to hand over his little title, that he won by luck, to me. The King.........Of The...........WORLD!!! Ben...

BH: Yes?

HSJ: That is all.

BH: Well, back to you guys at ringside!

September 20, 2002

After a brief commercial break SJL metal returns to the airwaves, opening with a live shot of the ecstatic audience. People of all colors, shapes, and sizes jump up and down vigorously waving their homemade signs, hoping that they will be one of the select few to make their first national television appearance! After a few shots of some less than memorable signs the cameras home in on the commentators table, manned by Axis, SJL Commissioner Edwin MacPhisto, and The Suicide King!

“Welcome back folks! Your watching SJL Metal and what a night we have had so far!” Axis begins. “And what a night to come! With the SWF’s Genesis looming just around the corner, things are really starting to shape up with everyone and their mom included dying for a spot at the biggest Pay Per View of the year! Hopefully tonight we will answer some of those questions of who will be there, and..”

“Who will be watching from the nose bleed section?” Ask Edwin.

“Well, Edwin. I wasn’t going to go that far, but in a sense…yes!”

“Pfft!” The Suicide King shakes his head in dismay. “Genesis? These clowns need not to worry about Genesis. If I had any say in it, the only way any of these Leaguers would be involved in Genesis is by rooting for me in front of their black and white television sets!”

“But, King. Your retired…Why would they root for you?” Ask Axis. “If you recall I will be making my much anticipated return to the ring at Genesis to take on Sacr..”

“Oh will you shut your Kangaroo loving ass up already, Axis! Like that match is going to put any asses in seats!”

“Well your in one, King!” Edwin adds with a laugh. “I’ve been waiting a long time to get you on something like that! HA!”

“Well…on with the show!!” Interjects Axis, being the one trying to move things along in a steady pace. “Next up we have Jack the Ripper verses impressive newcomer Johnny The Barracuda Dangerous!!”

“Jack the Ripper!” Shouts King! “Did you guys see that three way he was involved in last week! I couldn’t believe my conniving eyes that he won! Jack the Ripper is on a roll!”

“Well for his benefit I hope he keeps it up, but tonight he is fighting Johnny Dangerous! If last week is any indication of Johnny’s abilities, than Jack is in for a fight tonight!”

“Speaking of Jack.” Adds Axis. “Did you guys hear him earlier? All day long he’s been running around backstage saying Johnny’s a spy! Johnny’s a spy! I’m just sitting here the whole time going..Umm yeah no shit Sherlock!”

“He-He! Yeah, I heard him.” Says Edwin. “I think that boy’s been hit in the head one too many times!” Edwin makes a circular motion with his finger around his ear while making a cuckoo whistle.

“Hey now, that’s no reason to be hating on Jack.” The Suicide King interjects.

Darkness falls over the entire arena as Marilyn Manson’s “Fight Song” begins to thump from the massive sound system, sparking a sudden surge of heat from the audience. The second the song hits a eruption of Pyro begins to flow over the Smark-Tron down to the ramp, giving a soft but mysterious glow to the stage.

Jack the Ripper angrily stomps out onto the ramp dressed in his tattered trench coat as Funyon begins his classic introductions. “Introducing first in this match scheduled for one fall, weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, he hails from London, England…..JAAAAAAACK THE RIPPER!!”

“Well Jack definitely doesn’t look too happy!” Adds Axis as Jack fumes on his ascent down the ramp. Jack rolls into the ring and immediately disrobes his trench coat, tossing it over the corner turnbuckle. Jack raises his arms out to the crowds only to receive a chorus of boo’s from them.

“Was that the reaction Jack was going for?” Ask Axis.

Once again the arena lights grow dim, only this time a woman’s voice softly speaks out saying. “JOHNNY DANGEROUS.” The crowds let out a mighty cheer as the theme from “James Bond” kicks in.

“I think that may have been what Jack was hoping for.” Says Edwin.

“And his opponent.. from Las Vegas, Nevada and weighing in at two hundred and five pounds! JOOHNNNNNNNNNYYY DANGEROUS!!” Funyon concludes his introductions and lets himself out of the ring, and takes a seat near the commentators.

A single white spotlight lights up the entrance area (ala the beginning of any James Bond flick.) as Johnny steps out dressed in his usual stylized black suit, black shirt, and like any finely dressed gentleman would, a matching tie to boot!

Johnny strolls down the ramp waving at the nearby ladies, who gush as they wave back at the handsome devil. Johnny stops as one beautiful maiden in particular catches his attention. “Oh there is always time for women.” Johnny says as he grabs her hand and kisses it. Excited she jumps up and down waving her hand in front of her husband to see! See can’t believe he kissed her hand! Her husband however scowls at Johnny, who simply shrugs his shoulders smiling.

CRACK!!

Tired of waiting on Johnny to get his slow BUTT into the ring, Jack slams his fist into the back of Johnny’s head! The blow is more than enough to knock the unsuspecting Johnny straight to the floor, for which it does and quite painfully. “You will never stop me!” Jack snarls while firmly planting his foot into Johnny’s spine! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Johnny howls in pain as each blow connects, squirming around trying to shield himself

“What a vicious assault by Jack the Ripper!” Shouts Axis!

“You mean what a cowardly assault?” Ask Edwin.

Jack grabs a fistful of Johnny’s hair, slowly dragging the spy towards the ring as he howls in pain. Jack lets out a horrendous laugh, but his laugh is cut short when Johnny swings his foot into Jack’s jaw!

CRACK!!

“I don’t think Jack is going to be laughing much now!” Says Edwin. “He may of lost a few teeth from that blow.”

Jack stumbles back and rolls himself into the ring while holding his jaw. Johnny picks himself up and follows pursuit as referee Matthew Kivel signals for the bell.

DING!DING!DING!

“About damn time they got this match started!” The Suicide King says. “I was beginning to wonder if it would ever officially start.”

Jack immediately races in towards Johnny, rearing his arm back and cutting loose with a vicious blow to Johnny’s temple! Wham! Jack let’s off punch after punch, knocking Johnny back step after step as each blow connects. Jack backs Johnny all the way into the corner turnbuckle with the punches then grabs his arm to Irish Whip him into the opposite turnbuckle! Reversing the momentum, Johnny counters and sends Jack sailing towards the turnbuckle. Jack slams hard into the turnbuckle, ricocheting back as Johnny locks his arms around Jacks waist and hoist him over with a suplex!

“Johnny uses a belly to back suplex to put Jack right where he belongs! Right onto the mat! It looks like Johnny is going to continue his dazzling match from Crimson!”

“Where he belongs, Axis?” Ask the Suicide King. “I think your showing a little bit of favoritism here, don’t you think?”

“Bah! Look who’s talking” Adds Edwin. “Your always rooting for the ones who constantly cheat around here.”

Back in the ring Johnny pulls Jack to his feet and whips him once again, only this time into the ropes. Jack springs off the ropes and heads back for Johnny who leapfrogs right over Jack and rushes for the ropes himself. Jack bounces off the near ropes as does Johnny, who hurdles his entire body into the air and slams his arm right into Jack’s throat!

“What a clothesline! That blow was strong enough to level a city block!” Shouts Edwin. “Maybe Johnny can capitalize and get a pin out of this one.”

“What?” The Suicide King shoots back. “You can’t possibly think that weak clothesline is going to put Jack the Ripper down! Not by a longshot!”

One…….

Two…”No! Jack kicks out just after two!” Says Axis.

“See, Edwin. I told you so.”

Johnny begins to pull Jack to his feet and is surprised when suddenly Jack tackles Johnny to the mat. Jack pounds his fist into Johnny’s entire body, not really aiming for any certain area, just making sure he connects with something. Kivell yells at Jack to get up, and even begins a count as Jack refuses to budge. One! Two! Three! Four! Finally having enough Kivell grabs Jack’s arm and pulls him off Johnny.

“Look at that!” Shouts the Suicide King. “Your saint Mr. Johnny Dangerous had to be saved by the Referee!”

Astound that the Referee would even be so bold as to lay a finger on him Jack gets right up into Kivell’s face, making threats and using every English swear word imaginable. Jack accents every threat by tapping his finger on Kivell’s chest and baling his fist up to him. Tired of Jacks tirade Kivell pushes Jack away from him, and right into Johnny Dangerous who quickly rolls Jack up with a classic School Boy!”

One! Jack thrust his arm out knocking him loose of the pin.

“Jack better watch out there.” Says Axis. “After all he’s not messing with just any referee, Matthew Kivell is an experienced wrestler in his own right.”

“Experienced?” Ask The Suicide King. “At what? Losing? Kivell gets his ass kicked in every single match he’s ever been in, and by rookies none the less! Jack has nothing to worry about in Kivell.”

“Well if he doesn’t watch himself, he might just get disqualified!” Edwin adds in.

Johnny jumps back to his feet, just as a now very angry Jack begins to stomp off towards the Referee. “You wanna push me you stupid son of a Bitch!” Screams Jack! Jack rears his fist back but is suddenly cut off when Johnny sends a sharp kick straight to the back of Jack’s head, knocking him right over the top rope!

“Come on Jack!” Shouts King! “You got to keep focused on Johnny Dangerous, not Matthew Kivell!”

“Jack has definitely gone off on the deep end.” Axis comments. “If he keeps it up he’s going to kill his so called streak.”

“Jack has a streak?” Ask Edwin.

“Jack’s words, not mine. He claims to be on a streak since winning his match on Crimson.”

“Hey!” Shouts The Suicide King! “Somebody needs to get Johnny Dangerous down from that turnbuckle!"

On the outside of the ring Jack finally begins to pick himself up. Somewhat shaken from the fall he smacks himself in the head a few times. A sudden cheer from the audience gets Jacks attention, and he looks back towards the ring. His eyes grow wide as the only thing he sees is a Black suit coat right in front of his face!

WHAM!!

“Johnny Dangerous with a flying cross body from the top of the turnbuckle all the way to the floor!”

“That looked more like a lame belly flop, if you ask me.” The Suicide King grunts. “Look at him. I think Johnny Dangerous hurt himself more than he did Jack the Ripper.”

Johnny grunts in pain while holding his side. “I must of came down wrong.” Johnny thinks to himself. Trying his best to push the pain past him Johnny reaches down and grabs Jack, pulling the Ripper to his feet. Out of pure desperation Jack grinds his knee into Johnny’s groin, causing Johnny to crumble to the ground. Howling in pain.

“Low blow by Jack the Ripper!” Shouts Axis.

“And a pretty hard one at that!” Edwin adds. “I think he may have lost a testicle there!”

“That’s just sick, Edwin! How do you come up with all this crap, man it even amazes me sometimes!”

“It takes a lot of practice, King.” Edwin replies. “Maybe even you too will be able to conjure up these kind of quick one liners!”

“Your so full of yourself sometimes.”

“Maybe so….Maybe so.”

Jack helps Johnny to his feet and mustering all the strength he possibly can, lifts Johnny right into the air. The crowd lets out a fury of heat as Jack holds Johnny right over the security railing, playing with the crowd on whether or not he is going to let Johnny go. “Opps!” Jack says as he lets go of Johnny.

WHAM!!

Johnny hits the railing, landing right on his ribs and sparking a bit of “OOH’s” from the audience.

“That just looks like it would hurt!” Says Axis. “And by the looks of it he may have suffered a cracked rib from it!”

“Well by the time you two get done telling what body parts Johnny has lost in this match, he’ll have nothing left!”

Johnny lets out a small groan as he shields his ribs from any more damage, but Jack the Ripper isn’t after any ribs right now. He just wants Johnny’s hand, which he quickly grabs and whips Johnny right into the steel post of the ring!!

CLANNGGGG!!!

The metal sound rings out loudly as once again Johnny’s ribs become victim to another attack. Johnny blindly takes a few steps back, when Jack grabs a good chunk of Johnny’s skull and rams it right back into the steel post!

CLANNGGGG!!!

“My God!” Shouts Axis. “What is jack doing? This isn’t a hardcore match! He just split Johnny Dangerous straight in half!!”

“I don’t know why the Referee hasn’t disqualified Jack yet, this is just a normal match!”

“Oh don’t get your panties all tied up in a knot, Edwin. A little bloodshed never hurt anything, in truth it actually makes me want to pay even closer attention to it!” The Suicide King leans back in his chair and plops both feet right onto the table. “I’m loving this!”

Beaten up (but not yet bloodied) Johnny doesn’t put up much of a fight, when Jack pulls Johnny back to his feet and rolls him into the ring. With Johnny back in, Jack drops in for a cover.

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!!

“NO!” Shouts Axis as the audience lets out a mighty cheer of approval when Johnny thrust his shoulder up to break the pin. “However weak that was, Johnny Dangerous is not going to stay down!”

“If he were smart he would just give up.” The Suicide King comments. “After all you don’t think Jack is going to mess up his streak. Johnny Dangerous is destined to loose, so he might as well hurry up and get it over with!”

“What Streak?” Ask Edwin. “He only won one match, not a hundred in a row!”

Eager to put Johnny Dangerous away for good Jack pulls him to his feet and locks in a front face lock. Johnny struggles for a moment before his arms suddenly drop to his side.

“Did he pass out?” Ask Edwin.

“Well I hope not, that wouldn’t be a very good way to go out.” Axis replies.

The referee grabs Johnny’s arm and lifts it high into the air. He lets go of the arm, and watches the lifeless limb drop back down to Johnny’s side.

“ONE!!!!!!” He yells out while throwing one finger into the air.

“Johnny Dangerous appears to have passed out, and the Referee is giving a three count for a TKO!”

Matthew Kivell(The Referee) grabs Johnny’s arm for the second time as the audience begins to start getting behind Johnny, hoping that maybe they’ll jolt him back to reality. Again Johnny’s arm falls limp to his side.

“TWO!!!!!!” Kivell yells while holding up two fingers.

“This could be it folks!” Shouts Axis. “Jack the Ripper may indeed be on a winning path here!”

“You mean he’s going to continue his streak?” Ask the Suicide King.

“Whatever.”

One more time Kivell grabs on to Johnny’s arm and raises it into the air. He pauses for a moment before letting go, and watches the arm begin to fall for the final time.

“NO!!!” Axis shouts in delight! The audience lets out a huge roar of approval as Johnny’s arm rockets back into the air! “He’s still with us! This match isn’t over yet!”

Johnny thrust his elbow into Jacks midsection, causing Jack to loosen his grip. Again another elbow, than another until Jack finally lets go of Johnny. Johnny rears back and slams his fist straight into Jacks face, stunning the Ripper for a moment and giving Johnny just enough time for another blow! The second one lands just a bit harder than the first, the third even harder, and the fourth is just unbelievable! Jack stumbles across the ring completely stunned from the blows as Johnny sprints for the ropes and charges back towards Jack!

“Jack has awakened the sleeping dragon in Johnny Dangerous!” Shouts Edwin. “And just when I was about to label Johnny as another one win wonder!”

Johnny jumps into the air and locks his legs around Jacks neck! A quick spin and one hurricanna later, Jack is sent tumbling across the ring!

“Hurricanna! Wow! I didn’t know Johnny Dangerous knew how to pull that one off!” Remarks Axis.

“You would be surprised at how many people know how to do that maneuver, Axis.” The Suicide King replies. “I mean hell your mom is one of them! I have never met a lady who can do a better naked Hurricanna than her! Talk about going for a ride on the pony, I’ll tell you what!”

“Ouch!” Edwin adds in.

Back inside the ring, Johnny grabs onto Jacks leg, hoisting back on it for a little extra leverage as he makes an attempt for the pin.

One!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!

THR…”NO WAY IN HELL!” Shouts the Suicide King! “Jack ain’t going down like that and a shoulder up just before three proves my point!”

“Well I’m not sure where he got the strength to kick out of that one from but he managed.” Says Edwin.

Johnny begins to pulls Jack to his feet. “I guess I’ll have to pull off a finisher to keep this guy down.” He thinks to himself. With Jack the Ripper still quite dazed, Johnny thrust Jack’s head under his arm and readies his “License to Kill”.

“Johnny’s going for a Twist of Fate!” Shouts Axis.

“AHEM!” Edwin clears his throat.

“Oh yeah, I mean a License to Kill.” Axis corrects himself with a smile.

Johnny throws his arm out to the masses, but gives a second too long as Jack has finally had enough time to somewhat recover and pushes Johnny back!

“So much for that lame ass move.” Comments the Suicide King.

Suddenly Johnny bolts for the turnbuckle and like a lost puppy dog Jack follows after him. Johnny lunges onto the top turnbuckle and immediately pulls a back flip off of it and right over Jack the Ripper! Jack is somewhat surprised by the acrobatics and even a little more surprised when he turns around into a super kick by Johnny Dangerous!

CRACKK!!!

“SUPER KICK!! Johnny Dangerous just put Jacks lights out with that one!”

“Good lord, Axis!” Barks King. “Must you shout? I mean come on, you got a microphone right in front of your face.”

Johnny drops down to his knees and prepares to make a cover on jack, but stops. For a moment he just stares, then shakes his head no.

“No?” Edwin asks, baffled that Johnny is refusing to make a pin.

Johnny gets back up and grabs on to the ropes next to the turnbuckle, leaping back on top of it! The audience lets out another cheer in anticipation of the high-flying maneuver. Johnny Pauses for a moment looking at his prey who lies flat on his back, unsuspecting of what is about to come.

“This is it! Johnny’s going to put Jack the Ripper away with this umm…What does he call this move, Edwin?” Ask Axis.

“It’s none other than the Secret Splash! You may recall it as a Five Star Frog Splash.”

“Oh..”

Johnny lunges into the air, and makes a frog like motion seconds before slamming into Jack!

WHHHAAAAMMMMM!!!!

“Beautiful! Simply Beautiful” Says Axis. “It’s been a while since I saw one preformed so good.”

“Don’t make me go in there and show him up now, Axis!” King replies.

Jack jerks upward from the blow but drops back down just as quick. Johnny however howls in pain. His ribs already weakened earlier are only more agitated from the drop. Johnny finally throws his arm over Jacks chest in yet another pin attempt.

ONE!!!!!!!!

TWO!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!

DING! DING! DING!

The fans rejoice again as The Referee holds Johnny’s arm up in victory.

“The Winner…..JOHNNNY DANGEROUS!!!!”

“Johnny Dangerous has done it again!” Cries Edwin! “This rookie is really starting to get some attention here.”

“I just can’t believe Jack’s streak has been ended like this! This is unbelievable!” Says the Suicide King.

Johnny holds his chest casually high fiving fans as he passes by. Inside the ring Jack stands back up shaken, and rather pissed about the outcome. Jack boils with anger as he reaches his hand out for a microphone, which is handed to him. “JOHNNY DANGEROUS!” Jack screams into the microphone loud enough to get everyone’s attention including Johnny. “Listen to me everyone. I have a shocking announcement to make!”

“Oh my God” Says Edwin as he smacks his hand into his face. “Somebody get him off that microphone.”

“Shut up you two!” Barks the Suicide King! “I want to hear what Psycho here has to say!”

“That man right there..” Jack points a finger directly at Johnny, who looks behind him like Jack was pointing to a completely different person. Johnny motions to himself while saying in the most innocent of ways “Me?”

“Yes you! You! Johnny, the Mr. Stupid bloody Barracuda Dangerous! That man is..” Jack stops for a moment, still trying to catch his breath back from his match. “HE”S A SPY!”

The sound of crickets chirping is the only thing heard as the entire arena goes silent. Johnny shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head, wondering what the hell Jack the Ripper is going on about.

Suddenly….

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack’s face turns a beet red as the entire arena lets out a mighty roar of laughter. Back down at the commentators table three men are having a jolly ol’ good time, laughing it up. Johnny Shakes his head again and heads to the backstage.

“He-he! I can’t believe he just did that. Oh my Lord, were going to have to take a commercial break in order to get this one out of our system.” Axis says in between chuckles. “Stay tuned, because there is more action coming your way. NEXT!”

September 20, 2002

In the backstage of the SJL arenas, many an odd sight has been seen, and many a superstar has prepared for their rise to fame. The cameras show the backstage area, and one man, some fame already captured, as evidenced by the bright gold belt strapped around his waist, and another, still in the infancy of his career. Both men have something else in common, too, as evidenced by their conversation as they make their way through the halls, Gus breathing heavily as he follows along, keeping up with the two superstars.

“So anyway, this one time, I was in Japan, eh, on a covert mission against this crime syndicate that had just started up, and….. Oh, hold on, eh. We’re here. Do me a favor.” CIA reaches down, unstrapping the belt that hangs around his waist, and holding it out to Johnny Dangerous, prompting his fellow ‘Secret Agent Man’ to take it from him. “Hold this a sec, eh?”

Dangerous nods, and after a moment, retrieves the World Championship from CIA’s hand, stepping back with the belt as the ‘Canadian Dream’ reaches out and raps his knuckles against a locker room door. The camera catches the nameplate on the locker room door, ominously reading ‘sWo’. After a few moments, the locker room door swings open, revealing Hollywood Spike Jenkins, a small cloud of smoke emerging into the masked visage of the champion. Neither man says anything for a few moments, till finally CIA clears his throat, prompting Spike to step back. Into the locker room, letting the door swing closed. A moment later, the door opens again, and CIA smiles and Mak Francis emerges, stepping up face to face with the Canadian.

“Have you got a reason for coming here, other than being clinically insane? Maybe you’re scouting new locations for a donut shop? Or maybe you’re tired of dodging me, is that it, CHAMP?” Once again, Francis puts sarcastic emphasis on this last word, but the smile on CIA’s face never breaks, as the Canadian merely steps back, and moves out of the way, so Francis can see Johnny Dangerous, title grasped in his hands.

Mak fumes, and takes a step forward, only to meet the outstretched hand of CIA, holding him back. Leaning in close, the Canadian chuckles, and begins to speak, measuring his words very carefully. “We’re here today for a lesson, eh Mak? Maybe you don’t get what I’ve been saying to you. Maybe you won’t believe it till you see it, eh? Well, take a look. There’s another guy, holding the belt you seem to want so bad. Oh, sure, he’s not the champ. I AM. That’s not gonna change, if I have anything to say about it. But I want you to imagine for a moment, he is the champ. Or Fugue. Or Van Siclen. Or anyone at all, eh? Now I’m gonna give you something special, Franchise. One free shot. Pick your target. He’s your champ. Do you want to hit him? You don’t, eh? Well, maybe you still want to hit me. Maybe you want to be the bigger man than me, not bigger than that title.”

The camera zooms in as CIA stops speaking, and slides his hand away, leaving Mak Francis’ path clear to the title belt, still grasped in the hands of Johnny Dangerous. Shot sliding up, ‘The Franchise’s’ face fills the center of the shot, and slowly, a smile emerges there as well. Francis turns, face to face with his long time rival, and quick as anything, his hand flies out, crashing into the skull of CIA, spinning the champ around, and forcing him to one knee, placing his hands on the concrete to keep himself from falling right over. Noone moves for a few moments, until CIA chuckles, rising to his feet and turning to face Francis once more, smile still on his face, a trickle of blood coloring the corner of his mouth and winding it’s way down his chin.

“Now you’re getting it, Mak. Oh, and in case I hadn’t said it already, good luck with your match, eh?” Not quite turning away from Francis, CIA walks over to Johnny Dangerous, carefully lifting the title from the rookie’s hands and reaching down to strap the belt around his waist once more. “Cause you’re going to need it. And now that our little lesson’s done, Mak, that match is waiting for you, eh? I’ve set up everything. It’s gonna be hell. Me and you, finally proving to all the fans just who the better man is. And afterwards, win or lose, there’ll be a beer waiting with your name on it, right next to mine. That is, if either of us can still make our way to them, eh?”

Turning away, CIA grabs hold of Johnny Dangerous’ shoulder, both men marching off down the hall, once more beginning to trade spy stories. The camera stays put, turning slowly back to the face of Mak Francis, a smile still coloring the Franchise’s features. Standing for a moment, Francis watches both men walk off, and he nods his head as they leave his sight, turning back towards the sWo locker room. “Get ready, CIA. Cause soon enough….. you’re mine.”

Entering the room, Mak allows the door to swing closed behind him, shot fading away into blackness.

September 20, 2002

SINGLES MATCH

Jacob Helmsley vs. Spike Jenkins

Don't know where Strangler is on this. I guess it'll get put in later by someone.

September 20, 2002

Sucks that this one's a default win for Judge Mental. Thor was the only one with an excuse. Thor also asks that you book him in a regular singles match on the next show.

“Test your might…………………………… MORTAL KOMBAT!”

The techno chords of the Mortal Kombat theme die down as the camera pans around the cheering capacity crowd that has arrived for SJL Metal at the Hot Dog Palace in Orlando, Florida! As the camera shifts around, some choice signs like “SJL MENTAL!”, “SHARPE: SILVER BULLETS KILL WEREWOLVES, NOT GODS”, and “DUDE, WHERE’S MY FUGUE?” can be seen near ringside. The camera cuts down to the announcing table where our memorable trio of SJL announcers plus one await the next match.

“Welcome back to SJL Metal down in tropical Orlando, Florida!” Says Axis with an excited smile. “We’ve seen some spectacular matches so far, and it’s only going to get better. Right now we are waiting for the next event, a 4-Man One-Fall Match for the SJL World Title! With this amalgam-“

“Damnit, Axis!” Interrupts King. “You forgot about the most important thing already: Me! This is the Suicide King, breaker of hearts, rules, and bones alike. Over there is Dumb, and in a shocker it seems like Dumber has also decided to show up.” King says sarcastically, irritated by the mere presence of both the commissioner and the current champ.

“Ah, don’t be jealous King.” Replies a cheerful Edwin. “I mean, had Mak won the SJL World Title, he’d be the extra man.” Edwin gives a nice big smile. “We were just lucky enough that CIA won the title instead. Well, for those of you who don’t know me (And if you don’t, Airplane tickets leaving Guam are only $40), I’m Edwin MacPhisto, Crown Prince of Flash and Panache. And tonight we have a very special guest with us at the commentators’ table.” Edwin motions over to his right and the camera pans to show our intrepid champion, wearing an Ottawa Senators’ Jersey (#40, Lalime) and his usual Maple Leaf mask.

“Well thanks there, Mr. Commissioner, sir.” CIA says with his heavy Ontario accent. “It’s truly a pleasure to serve with you and Axis here in at th-” But King cuts him off.

“Hey, you didn’t mention my name. I’m not pleasurable?” He says with shock. “Maybe you should talk to some of the ladies I’ve been with.”

Edwin looks down the table at King for a moment with sarcastic smile. “Which ones should we ask: The ones who slap you across the face or the ones who kick you in the groin?”

Axis cuts in with real commentary before either of the two men can make anymore comments. “Tonight we have some incredible wrestlers. We have the newly unsuspended Flunkmasta Flexx, the Up-and-Coming Leon Sharpe, the old veteran Judge Mental, and the consistent Main Eventer Thor. Any picks before the match?”

King is the first to come up with one. “Okay, Thor is a pansy. He’s out. Sharpe’s shirts suck, so you eliminate him. Mental is old and he lost to Kamikaze last time, so it’s obvious that Flexx has it here.”

CIA clears his throat and speaks up. “Well, mine is Thor. Ya look at the big man and ya know he has his heart set on this thing-”; CIA taps his championship belt, which lies on the table, “-almost as much as Mak does. He’s gonna go all out tonight. So Thor is my pick.”

Meanwhile, Eddy Mac rubs his chin with his fingers and thinks. “I’m not really good at this, so here goes: Thor. Mental or Flexx don’t have the drive for this like Thor does, and even though Sharpe has the drive, Pride is stronger than T-Shirt sales.”

Right after Edwin gives Thor the green light, the lights dim down, and a blue spotlight covers the entrance way. The electric guitars of KISS begin to play and smoke flows onto the ramp as a lone lightning bolt flashes across the entrance. “You’ve got something about you…..” Blue and white pyros shoot out, and out of the smoke appears the larger-than-mortal-life legend himself, Thor! He walks to the ring slowly and purposefully as Funyon begins his part “Weighing in at a massive 345 lbs, hailing from the shinning Halls of Asgard, the God of Thunder, THOR!!!” The crowd cheers like mad as he enters the ring. But before he can even strike a pose, the arena turns pitch black as red strobe lights begin to flash.

“It looks as though one of the others couldn’t wait any longer…” Comments Axis as Edwin crosses his arm in disgust.

“Of course, the only one who would have the audacity to do something like this…”

“Born as Ghosts” by Rage Against the Machines plays as pictures of the self-proclaimed ‘X-rated badass’. The silhouette of the man appears on the entrance ramp, doing a diamond cutter poses. His hands burst apart and yellow pyros shoot out of the ramp 1… 2… 3… times. In the smoke from the fireworks, the figure twirls a kendo stick and walks out of the smoke. “Weighing in at 247 pounds, the maverick, Flunkmasta FLEXX!!!” Flexx walks down the ramp confidently, dodging occasional flying Mentos without even trying. The crowd showers him with boos as he comes in through the ropes and walks to one of the corners. The lights dim again, and King shouts at no one in particular, “God damnit, make up your mind! On or Off!”

“Something Bad is Going to Happen” by Fenix TX begins to play as Leon Sharpe begins to come down the entrance ramp. He stops next to the entrance ramp next to a few people waving $20 bills and begins handing some of the shirts out and quickly snatching up the money. “Weighing in at 305 pounds, the man whose face is on all your chests, Leon SHARPE!” He continues down, throws the duffel by ringside, and climbs through the ropes. He takes a mic into his hands. “Hello people! Have you bou-” before it suddenly cuts off and the lights dim to a sickening deep red. Edwin looks at Axis and says “Well, at least he won’t be able to convince me to buy another shirt; I already have twelve. He has a demeanor you just can’t say no to.”

“What the HELL?!” Sharpe yells, angry as all get out because he can’t make his traditional sales pitch before the match.

“NOW TESTIFY!” screams over the loudspeakers as flaming pyros burst up from the entranceway. The pyros die down as Rage Against the Machine continues in mid-song, and Judge Mental walks out in his normal array of black judicial robes. “Weighing in at 266 pounds, the Prosecutor of Pain, Judge MENTAL!!!” The crowd shoots up some boos, but Mental walks past showing little response to the audience at all. He gets into the ring fluidly and fast, just as he has many times before.

“This is a one fall match; the first person to pin someone in the ring is the winner. All DQs are in effect, but this is a Tornado match and there will be no count outs.”

The ref looks at all four men, making sure they are in their own corners, and signals for the bell.

*DING DING DING*

The crowd goes wild as the 4 man free-for-begins! The first man out of the gate is Thor, who charges across the ring at Judge Mental and throws a hard clothesline… that Mental ducks with ease. Thor hits the turnbuckle hard, but brushes it off the like a Rhino would a mosquito bite and turns around to see the sole of Mental’s boot, catching a big Superkick in the head! On the other side, Leon and Flexx come over to each other near the side of the ring. Leon goes for a grapple but Flexx stays just out of reach, quite aware that he doesn’t have the strength to go one on one with the big man. Leon reaches again, but Flexx catches the arm and quickly twists it into a painful arm wrench. Flexx gets ready to do a hook kick, but Leon grunts and begins to reverse it with his size and strength. He turns it into his own arm wrench, and elbows it to send Flexx to the ground.

“Well, Leon and Mental have gotten to a relatively good start, keeping the SJL vets off their feet.” Says Axis to the rest of the group.

CIA watches as Mental gives another stiff kick to the recovering Thor, but the large man only goes back a step and knocks Mental to the ground with a massive forehand slap. “Don’t be fooled, there, Axis. Thor may be a bit slow at the beginning, but he’s harder than a cooked hockey puck to keep on the ground. He performs at the end, which is why he’s up for this title shot.”

Mental scrambles up quickly as Thor advances on him with his slow godly stride, and throws a hard kick to the chest of the mammoth man, but only pushing him back a few steps before he continues his advance. Mental tries another kick, but Thor grabs the leg, pulls him in, and hooks his arm for a big Pumphandle slam! Meanwhile, Flexx gets up and ducks another attempted grapple by Leon, giving him a couple sharp chops to the stomach for his effort. Leon grabs his stomach, giving Flexx enough time to maneuver behind the man, grab his arms, and complete a forward Russian Leg Sweep.

Thor leaves Mental lying on the ground in pain and walks over to a rising Flunkmasta, who stands right up into the big boot of Thor. Flexx hits the ground with a big impact as Thor begins to pick him up when…

WHAM!

From behind comes Leon Sharpe, now recovered from Flexx’s leg sweep, with a massive double axe-handle smash into Thor’s back! The big man is put totally off balance and stumbles toward the ropes, coming close to falling but managing to grab the ropes for some stability. Thor’s help is short lived as Leon charges in behind him and shoulder-blocks him through the ropes, sending the God out onto the apron. The downed-Flexx, on the other hand, looks at Mental, giving him some sort of hand gesticulations….

“What is Flexx doing?” Axis wonders, as Mental and Flexx both get up and begin to sneak up on the unaware Leon.

Edwin takes a pot shot. “Maybe the Judge’s hearing aid went out and he’s trying to tell him that the match is still on.”

CIA shakes his head. “Naw, they’re telling each other the universal way to take down a hoss in one of these matches.” CIA says as Mental and Flexx quickly turn a surprised Leon around, each hook a leg, and pull off a Double Fisherman Suplex. “Double team him!”

King looks at CIA with a confused look. “Hey aren’t you supposed to be honorable and not double team people or something?”

CIA laughs and replies “Last time I didn’t team up I found myself at the wrong end of one painful Elbow drop…”

Flexx and Mental both begin to get up as Sharpe lies on the mat writhing in pain. Mental begins to circle around for leg submission, but an angry Norse hand grabs him and pulls him to the outside. Thor has had time to get up and now ensnares an unlucky Judge Mental with his vice-like grip. The God of Thunder quickly raises the old man to his feet and whips him down the ring into one of the steel stair cases, causing Mental to fall down clutching his shoulder.

On the inside, Flexx tries to make a quick cover on Sharpe while the other two men duke it out.

ONE….

TW-Kick out by Sharpe!

Flexx rolls off Sharpe and strains to stand the big man on his feet. He takes Sharpe’s wrist and tries to whip him at the ropes, but Sharpe reverse it and hurls the X-Rated Badass at the ropes. Flexx takes a bounce and comes back to be greeted with a big clothesline from Leon.

“BAH GOD~! Sharpe reverses a whip and Thor hurls Mental into the stairs as the hosses begin to dominate this match.” Axis commentates as Thor picks up Mental and rolls him back into the ring with ease.

“Damn face hosses, holding us actual wrestlers down…” King whines as Leon begins to pick up Flexx.

Thor gets back into the ring, and lifts Judge Mental to his feet, but Mental knocks Thor’s hands right off his body and gives Thor a hard right hand to the face. Thor’s head turns to the side, but the punch fails to move the gigantic man. Mental throws another, with the same result, and before he can do anything Thor gives him a big backhand that sends him spinning. Thor looks at Leon, grabs Mental, and waves his hand to get Leon’s attention. Leon thinks for a moment, and suddenly a look of comprehension comes over him as he grabs Flexx’s wrist. Both big men take line themselves up and whip the two heels at each other full force, and the men collide in the middle of the ring like two trains hitting each other. Both the Judge and the Flunkmasta crumple down in a heap as both hosses come up to shake hands to a big crowd pop.

“An absolutely stunning display of sportsmanship by Leon and Thor, and now they are congratulating each other.” Says an impressed Axis as both men give a hardy shake.

“Ah, it looks like we CAN all get along.” Says a smiling Edwin, just after which Sharpe pulls Thor into his body, locks his hands around the big man’s waist, and completes a picture perfect Belly to Belly suplex.

“Yeah, good call Edwin. You really know how to read people,” King says mockingly. “Look at Raynor, and Z, and the rest of that dysfunctional Carnie bunch. Nice choice of people, Edwin. Care to ruin any- HEY! STOP THAT!!” King cries as CIA begins to reflect light off his championship belt into King’s sensitive pupils.

Edwin pats CIA on the back and says “Thanks for the save. You’re obviously a quick learner.”

Sharpe gets up from the move quickly, trying to take advantage of the downed giant, but before he can get up, he takes a kick to the back from the recovered Judge Mental and Flunkmasta Flexx. He arches his back in pain as Mental puts the man in a Full Nelson hold and brings him up in front of a waiting Flexx. The Flunkmasta pivots on his left foot and brings his right foot up in a lightning fast motion for a Sweet Chin Music right to Leon’s head. Mental wastes no time as he takes the stunned man into the air and lands a Full Nelson Suplex!

“A dirty team up move by the heels brings Leon Sharpe down to the ground.” Axis angrily comments, obviously not approving of the team up.

King looks at him, also mad. “What the hell is with the double standard? Thor + Leon = Teamwork, but Mental + Flexx = Evil? Goddamn, Sharpe has pulled off more dirty moves so far than Mental and Flex- AH DAMNIT! SERIOUSLY STOP IT!!” Yells King as CIA once again takes the liberty of redirecting some light into King’s eyes.

Edwin leans in close to CIA and whispers, “Good save again; he was beginning to catch on to us.”

Mental begins to get up as Flexx begins to beat on the recuperating Thor. Seizing the opportunity, the Judge begins to get up as if to help, but dashes back and hooks Leon’s leg for the pin!

ONE!

TWO!

TH- Flexx pulls Mental off in the nick of time, and goes for the pin himself.

ONE!

TWO!

TH- Flexx is pushed off by Mental! Flexx gets up and is clotheslined by Mental, who begins to go for the pin but is stopped as a hand the size of a bear paw grabs him on the shoulder and restrains him. The hand turns him around to face one very ticked off Norse God. Mental tries to punch Thor, but Thor ignores the jab and lifts Mental up into the air by his neck and sits out for a Super-sized Divine Hammer. With the crowd at almost deafening cheering at deafening levels, Thor hooks a leg and goes for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THR- Both Leon and Flexx pull Thor off of Mental by his feet.

“Two near pins by the dastardly duo, but in the end the Thor is there to make the save with a Divine Hammer and near fall on Judge Mental.” Axis notes as Leon and Flexx begin to pull Thor into the middle of the ring. “But now Leon and Flexx are working together. What could this result in?”

“Well,” CIA says, finally getting a word in edgewise, “Ya know we’ve already seen these team ups before, and I don’t see this one lasting any longer than the- Ooowww. Nice wishbone right there.”

King laughs and calls out, “NO-SELL THAT, YOU STUPID HALF-RATE JOBBER OF A GOD!”

“I’m sorry,” says Edwin, flinching at the move, “But no real man or God can no-sell a nasty groin stretch like that.”

Flexx and Leon stomp the God down, causing him to weakly try to shield himself to no avail. During the stomp down, Leon looks up, smiles, and gives Flexx a hard shove backwards. Flexx stumbles right into an angry Judge Mental, who quickly turns him around, wraps his arm around his head, and slams him down with a DDT. Leon uses this as a diversion and goes for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THR- NO! Mental makes a last second dive and pushes Leon off the pin and goes for his own.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-THOR KICKS OUT! The crowd goes wild as Thor kicks his leg up with some power, and Mental rolls off him as quick as possible.

Leon regains his bearings, gets up, and begins to charge the Judge, but is cut off by Flexx’s two feet nailing him in the side with a drop kick. Flexx picks up Leon, and gives him a quick kick to the gut, making Leon double over in pain. Flexx quickly wraps his arm around Leon’s head and slams the T-Shirt man’s jaw right down for a Twisterfuck Stunner. While Leon’s teeth are rattled, Mental skillfully evades Thor’s attempts to try and grab or hit him. Thor gives another hard backhand attempt, but Mental catches and goes for an arm wrench. He begins to twist, but before he can do anything Thor uses his raw strength to slowly turn the arm wrench the other way. Mental struggles, but as he tries to hold the arm in position, Thor gets it so that his arm can bend again and brings around his other hand right on Mental’s neck and picks him up into the air. Mental tries to break the hold, struggling hard, but Thor holds him up like a prize trophy. Thinking quickly, Mental swings his left leg up onto Thor’s arm and uses the leverage from it to do an improvised Enzugiri on the massive man, making him drop Mental straight to the ground.

“Flexx catches Leon off guard as Thor and Mental are fighting each other to a stand still…” Axis says as CIA gives some more insight.

“Flexx is doing very well; ya know it’s pretty obvious that he’s been in these before. He’s the only man that hasn’t been pinned yet, which is quite an accomplishment with that there group.” The Masked Canadian points out. “Mental is also holding his own against Thor. I’ve only seen him wrestle a couple times, but it looks like he’s pretty skilled at getting out of tight spots like that last Chokeslam attempt.”

Mental jumps up quickly, grappling with the stunned Thor….

Flexx stands Leon up and whips him up to the ropes, quickly thrusting his arm into the air twice as Sharpe heads at the ropes….

Mental, straining hard and using his all his strength, picks Thor up and puts him in Tombstone Position….

Flexx says “BANG BANG!” as Sharpe bounces back at him, puts his right arm across Sharpe’s body, and vaults the big man forward…

Mental spins round and brings Thor to the ground….

Right as Flexx nails Sharpe into the mat. Both men go down and hook their victim’s legs to pin at the exact same time!

“WOW! AMAZING! MENTAL HITS THE VERDICT ON THOR WHILE FLEXX HITS THE FLUNKDOWN ON SHARPE! I’ve never seen something like that before!” Axis yells into the mic as Edwin points at the ref.

“I’m not sure he has either: He doesn’t know who he should make the count for…”

True enough, the ref stands up, stunned and not making any sort of count as both Flexx and Mental scream at him to do something. But what can he do? It’s a one fall match, he can’t count BOTH pins. He looks over at the timekeeper’s table and gives a “What do I do?” shrug, and receives another shrug in return.

“Come on, damnit! Count one of the guys at least!” Cries a frustrated King.

Just as the ref turns back, Thor gives a mighty kickout, and Mental looks like a live hand grenade landed next to him. He exudes a loud “DAMN!” and quickly rolls away and out of the ring as the ref dives down and begins to count against Sharpe.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-NO! Sharpe kicks out at the last possible moment!

Flexx rolls off and begins to lift Sharpe up, but as he stands him up, a giant pair of arms wrap around his waist as Thor lifts him up for a big German Suplex! Flexx lies on the ground and rolls out of the ring to get away for a moment, but Thor follows out, leaving a recovering Sharpe getting up from the Flunkdown.

“It looks as though the situation worked itself out well, I suppose.” Axis says, trying to put a spin on the last couple events.

Sharpe gets up and shakes his head, trying to get the dizziness out of him, unaware of Judge Mental coming in from behind. Before he knows it, Mental grabs Leon’s wrist and throws him at the ropes. The Judge catches Leon as he bounces off the ropes, lifts him up in the air, and spins 180 degrees for a perfect corkscrew suplex.

Outside the ring, Flexx avoids the big man Thor, backing away from the long reach of the Norse God of Thunder. He ducks under one big forearm, but Thor catches him with the other, knocking him into the steel railing. Flexx bounces off with a sick crack and a small thread of red running down his forehead.

“Thor got Flexx to bleed with that last hit! BAH GAWD~! Get the medics out!” Axis yells into the mic.

Mental gets up, and picks Sharpe up slowly and whips him into the ropes. Mental waits for Sharpe on the return trip, pivots his left foot and brings it up for a Superkick… that Sharpe ducks under! Sharpe bounces off the ropes again and gives Mental a big clothesline from behind. Mental hits the mat hard, but before Mental can even think about getting up, Sharpe lifts him up by his neck.

“Leon is back in this match, surviving a brutal ambush by Judge Mental.” Says Axis, and CIA speaks up again for his expert commentary.

“Really, I think Leon is always a little too confident in his style. The way he’s pulling Mental up right now, it’s obvious that he doesn’t respect a man. When you don’t respect a man, you begin to underestimate him. And so far, from what I’ve seen, you shouldn’t take chances on a guy of his experience.”

On the outside Thor picks up the bleeding Flexx and picks him up in the air for a Gorilla press once… twice….. three times before dropping him down to the ground again. Flexx pushes away from him, moving toward one of the turnbuckles, until he runs into something. He looks up and sees….. a duffel bag. It’s Sharpe’s bag of T-Shirts from the beginning of the show. Flexx looks at it and gives a smart-ass smirk. As Thor goes down to pick Flexx up again, Flexx thrusts his hand into the duffel bag and throws a shirt right over Thor’s face. Thor quickly removes it, but Flexx takes his chance, grabbing the duffel bag and running behind Thor. In one quick motion he takes the duffel bag strap and wraps it around Thor’s neck, and jumps on Thor’s back, trying to choke him out while the ref watches Leon and Mental fight.

Leon lifts Mental up for a Gorilla press, and there is a huge crowd swell because the expectation of Leon’s finisher, the Silver Bullet. He holds him there for a moment, turning around in place for the whole crowd to see him…. As Mental rolls off Leon’s hands and lands right behind the rookie. He grabs Sharpe’s head and pulls him back into a big elbow right in the neck! Sharpe clutches his neck as Mental deftly maneuvers in front of the bigger man, lifts him up into Tombstone position again….

“HERE IT COMES! MENTAL’S GONNA FINISH IT RIGHT HERE!” King screams with glee as Mental spins 90 degrees and nails the Verdict on Sharpe as Thor vaults forward and throws Flexx off his back. The God looks into the ring in horror, and makes a mad dash as Mental goes for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!! Thor kicks Mental off, but it’s too late! The ref signals for the bell as Thor walks over to a turnbuckle and gives it a frustrated punch.

“The winner of the match for #1 Contendership to the World Title….. Judge MENTAL!!!!”

The crowd shows their displeasure with the final result with jeers and shouts as “Testify” hits the speakers. Flexx gets up off the ground, shaking his head and pounds the ring mat from the outside. Leon, on the other hand, still lies motionless on the mat, out cold after taking a second finisher to put him down. Mental grabs his robes and begins his silent walk up the entrance ramp as the announcing team ponders the victory.

“Well it seems that everyone had it wrong with their predictions tonight. While no one was really an under dog in the fold tonight, Judge Mental was definitely not at the top of our ‘Could Win’ lists.” Axis declares as Edwin speaks his mind.

“Definitely not the guy I wanted to go to the 4 way, but a better choice than Flexx.” He says with resignation.

“Eh, I’m happy because those morons Thor and Sharpe didn’t win.” King says with a satisfied grin.

“Well, I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge,” quips CIA, “He looks tough, but I think I stand a better than average chance at beating him.”

“Well, don’t go away,” Axis tells the at-home audience, “We still have another four way match that should be a real dozy. Stay tuned for more on SJL Metal!”

September 20, 2002

The camera pans the audience at the Hotdog Palace, in Orlando, Florida for SJL METAL. Today’s Wfer shill of the week™ are actually ELM and Chris Raynor. Raynor gets the same shill from the last time and ELM gets a brand new shilling.

As the camera pans the audience two fans are seen holding dual signs, “RAYN-MAN SMASH!” and “RAYN-MAN BASH!” SMASH > PANACHE, A few “Y2Chris” signs can be spotted around the arena and now multiple “Raynor is God” signs are seen after his last brawl with Eddie Mac gets him props.

The camera rescans the crowd quickly and sign like, “Luchador’s do it better”, “I <3 the Tex-Mex Press”, The SWF’s best non-illegal immigrant” ELM + World Title = (Y) and finally “Even the great ELM can’t beat the Suicide King”… well chalk that one up to random sucking up.

“Hello and welcome back to the Hotdog Palace, Orlando, Florida for SJL METAL!” Bellows Axis. “I’m here as always with the former World Heavyweight Champion “The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache” Eddie Mac and another former Champeen of the World in The Suicide King. But let’s not forget about the fourth member of this announce team and the CURRENT SJL Heavyweight Champion of the World… the Canadian Intelligence Agent… C!…I!…Ahhhhhh!”

“It’s great to be here in the both with you guys, eh.”

“Was that a question?”

“Eh?”

“You said, “It’s great to be here in the both with you guys, eh.” Was it a statement or a question because with you crazy backwards talk I couldn’t tell.”

“Um… a statement?” Says CIA his voice inflection rising.

“I give up…” Says King burying his face in his hands. Meanwhile Edwin and CIA exchange tips on how to mess with King even more.

“So far we’ve seen some great action between the new comer Ejiro Fasaki and the martial arts skateboarder Blank. Johnny Dangerously and Blank also tore the house down.”

“ “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins versus Jake Helmsley was a great match up as well. But the four person match between Thor vs. Judge Mental vs. Leon Sharpe vs. the Flunkmasta Flexxx for spot number two in the World title match was wonderful.”

“And I must admit that everyone was pulling out al the stops to get a shot at the gold, eh.”

“Was that a question?”

“Not this again…”

“Anything to distract attention away from the fact that we haven’t said who won any of these matches.”

“How about we talk about the sWo crashing to it knees after that opening segment with Matt Myers and The Franchise.”

“How about NOT!” Screams King causing all booth members to change the conversation.

“Uh… and that brings us to the Main Event of tonight’s show. The second tornado four way match for a chance to be one of three World title contenders!”

“Please there’s no chance. Mak is gonna win so why you’re even having this match is lost on me.”

“…” Is the only reply Edwin can muster up. “Uh, then why do we have matches in the first place if you’re the swammie of wrestling?”

“Shut up you’re Canadian, and that means your opinions don’t matter!”

“Just ignore him… Edwin and I do it all the time. After a wonderful show so far we’re moving on to the second of two World Title matches that’ll involve the man next to me CIA, the two four way winners and the winner of Fugue versus Mike Van Siclen.”

[Whispered] ‘Are you Ready?’….

“And here comes the former World Champion fresh off another huge loss to CIA. This time in a tag match involving “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins and one of his opponents in this match Manson.” states Axis.

Blue and White strobe lights flash as the SMARKStron airs highlights of Mak Francis hitting the perfect kick on TNT. This is followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis…

“This entire #1 contenders thing is a disgrace as the Franchise hasn’t even gotten his mandatory return match from CIA for the World Title.” Adds King. “Why should Mak get treated differently than any other former champ?”

[semi loud] ‘Are you Ready?’….

“And just to clear things up nobody pinned Mak. When’s the last time somebody got a win over him fairly. I mean CIA pinned Thor, Myers screwed him over in his match with Fugue. And I’ll be damned if you CIA didn’t run like a coward from the ring in that tag match”

And a clip of his European Title 4 way match, and him forcing the Canadian Intelligence Agent to tap out, during a figure four-leg lock. This is once again followed by a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis…

“Hey if he wants a piece of me, he needs to understand that it isn’t always about the belt.”

“He doesn’t just want a piece of you, he wants the whole thing!”

[screamed] ‘CAUSE THE FRANCHISE HERE!’

Francis exits from behind the curtain to even more jeers than his normal ovation of boos. The crowd is firmly behind CIA who just sits at the booth looking up the ramp.

“The first of four making his way to ringside at 225 pounds…hailing from the city of brotherly hate…he is…” Funyon pauses looking down at the note card he received before the match. “He is the next best thing to nobody… the golden god… a wannabe Suicide King, the god of all heels, after Flesher of course since he’s the third generation Memphis heel clone… praise Suicide King… ” Funyon just shakes his head and mumbles about the random praising of the King. “The guy with the 12 inch… I’ll just skip that part… “THE FRANCHISE” MAAAAK FRANCCCIIISssssssssss!”

“What do you mean it’s not about the belt?”

“Well, Kingy everything doesn’t have to be about a belt. I’d agree with CIA here on that.”

“Besides it’s seems that he has other things to worry about for the time being after all that stuff that happened with Matt Myers.”

“Yes if you guys are tuning in late Matt Myers and “The Franchise” Mak Francis are scheduled to go one on one inside a steel mesh cage. But not just any cage as the top is enclosed leaving no means of escape.”

“They call it the bloody Hell In A Cell and I’m the special referee!”

I…

STAND ALONEEEEEEE!

Those are the first words to ring out from the PA system as Godsmack’s “I Stand Alone” plays and Kamikaze steps onto the stage. He looks around at the fans, in what could be called paranoia before yelling out “Hotdogs” scoring a cheap pop from the Florida crowd.

“Making his way to ringside… weighing in tonight at 235 pound… from Minnetonka, Minnesota. He is the swan dive head BUTT bomber… “KAAMIKAAAZZEEEE!!”

While walking down the ramp Kaze begins to go on a tirade shouting at Maria for eating a hotdog like she’s giving oral sex. “Why oh why, can’t Maria be a real human girl. I’d be on her faster then that Jerry Lawler guy gets another wife under the age of fifteen.” Once in the ring, he climbs the turnbuckle, throw his arms up and his head back until…

“KAAMIKAAAZZEEEE!!”

“And Kaze is the second member of this foursome… don’t even go there King! And after coming off of a hard fought win over Judge Mental in a Gavel Cage match you have to look at Kaze as a threat to win this match.”

“Yup, he’s got the tools to get the win but quite frankly he’s a nut job.”

“And your not?”

With that Kamikaze and Francis each stand in a corner awaiting the next member of the match to make their entrance.

And Dropkick Murphy’s “Barroom Hero” begins to play

Face down in the gutter, won’t admit defeat… those clothes are soiled and black!

“And third… making his ways to ringside at a slim and trim 168 pounds… from Limerick, Ireland… the drinker of all things Guinness…. TIIIIIM DILLONNNN!”

Suddenly, cheap green shamrock confetti falls from the rafters. And after some impressive pyro Tim Dillon appears on the stage with a Guinness beer can in hand. As he walks down the ramp his pop steadily increases as he pours some brew into the open mouths of a few of age fans. Since the SWF is family television.

“And here comes the rookie grappler Tim Dillon.”

“He’s a boxer not a wrestler.”

“But he’s a very cool guy. He’s always speaking in that other language… and for some reason I just can’t help but laugh at it.”

“That’s because you’re a British loon that says, “Zing” of all things.”

“I actually like Zing…”

“Thank you CIA you’re comments are greatly appreicated. You bring a lot to the booth.”

CIA nods his head as "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong hits, and the SmarkTron comes to life with a grainy entrance video, colored in shades of gray. Bloody red strobe lights flash on and off, as Manson tosses aside the entrance curtain and stops at the head of the ramp way to stand for a moment in his crucifix pose. He breaks out of his pose, and slowly makes his way down to the ring. Manson rolls under the bottom rope, immediately tossing off his jacket as he pops back up, before walking to the corner to sit on the ground.

“And the final member of this match up… weighing in tonight at 215 pounds… from New York City, New York… the bad ass from the badlands… MANSSSSOOONNNNNNN!”

Now each man stands or sits in a corner awaiting the bell. Axis starts the play by play. “Okay referee Sexton Hardcastle has checked all the competitors for illegal objects and this match, for the WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP is under way.

“Mak Francis vs. Kamikaze vs. Tim Dillon vs. Manson. One of them gets a shot at the gold. It should be a hell of a match eh.”

“Stop acting impartial. You’ve been ducking Mak since you won that title and everybody knows it.”

DING! DING! DING!

“The Franchise” Mak Francis shakes his right arm out and eyes Manson as he sits in the corner but decides to lock up with Tim Dillon who at the moment is bouncing about the ring checking his footing and testing the ropes. Manson rises from his seated position by pulling himself up using the ropes and stares a hole into Kamikaze who is busy laughing at a joke Maria told him. Dillon sees Francis out of the corner of his eye but doesn’t let on and Kaze after finishing his talk with Maria immediately turns towards Manson.

“These four men all feeling each other out and it looks like they know -”

And suddenly Francis dashes towards looking to get in a cheap shot early but Dillon who saw him all along turns and bullies the heavier Franchise to the mat with a front double leg takedown catching him in mid stride. As Dillon tries to mount the Franchise to execute a few of his powerful punches, Kamikaze and Manson come together in a collar and elbow tie up. The two men struggle against each other for leverage with the bigger Kami ending up in control. Kaze grabs Manson and powers him into a side headlock. He grinds Manson’s face into his bicep while the speedy Manson pushes them towards the far ropes. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring Dillon lays into the self proclaimed Franchise with thunderous rights and lefts in to Francis’s ribs weakening his defenses.

“Mak looks to be in trouble already.”

“It’s call rope a dope moron.”

“Well wouldn’t it be a better idea to do that with some one that, I don’t know, wasn’t a boxer.”

“…You’ve won this time MacPhisto… next time MacPhisto… NEXT TIME!”

These heavy shots hurt even while Francis is covering himself up so the Franchise decides to go on the offensive, shifting his weight and grabbing Dillon by his waist forcing him from the mounted position and gaining it himself. Mak lets go and scoots away from Dillon using the ropes to pull himself up.

“I guess Francis finally realized that Timmy could pound on him like that all day.” States Axis looking over to CIA who is about to speak.

“One of the best thing Mak does in match is counter. I should know I’ve been on the receiving end of quite a few eh. Dillon needs to stay to his strength and brawl because he’s a much better puncher. If he lets this turn into a match on the mat, Mak will take control.”

“So enough about the match how about we talk about you ducking Mak.”

“Kingy, kindly stop being a wiener to the guest commentator here in the Hotdog palace.”

The front row crowd lets loose a cheap pop since they’re about the only people that heard Edwin shill their arena. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Manson finally gets up enough speed to bounce himself and Kaze off the ropes. They rebound off causing Kaze to break the headlock and rush off towards the far ropes and hits them – but he twists upside down and hits the ring apron before falling to the cold ground as Mak Francis looks at him with both hands holding the top rope down. Kaze starts to rise to his feet as Francis comes flying over the top rope in a cross body attack sending both men to the floor.

“Slingshot cross body block from the Franchise to Kamikaze.”

As Francis and Kaze start to stir Manson after quickly looking at Dillon, rushes over to the ropes. He climbs through the ropes looking to capitalize on the two mens misfortune. After turning towards the ropes Manson goes into his crucifix pose and after a quick glance behind him he jumps up bouncing off the second rope and flipping in mid air down…

Down…

Onto Kaze and the Franchise with an Asai Moonsault!!

As a light “Holy Shit” chant starts up Axis puts over the springboard Moonsault. “Manson paying a little homage to the Ultimo Dragon.”

“And what the hizzy is Tim Dillon about to do…”

Tim Dillon jumps onto the top rope balancing himself a little while the three other members in this match try to get to their feet. The three wrestlers stare up and look like road kill in the headlights of a Truck – because Dillon leaps rotating in mid air and as the light bulbs flash in the background he connects with a body splash that send all four men to the ground.

“HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!”

“Something pretty damn cool.” Says King pretty impressed with Dillon’s ability for a rookie.

“All four men are down now… if this had counts outs there’d be no fourth member in the match against me.”

“Well are you going to answer my question from earlier about ducking the competition and maybe I should ask you Eddie Mac why YOU screwed Mak out of his mandatory rematch and made him go through all these matches just to get what he already should have. A return match.”

“I’m not going to fight him unless he understands why we’re doing it.”

“And I just book what the fans want to see.”

“Those answers blew.”

And the four men entangled in there own personal sea of humanity start to get up too their feet. The crowd starts up a nice sized chant for the wrestlers as they haul themselves into the ring. Manson ends up with Kamikaze again and Dillon ends up with Mak. Dillon being the least hurt of the four is the first up and puts Francis in an arm wringer going to work on his right arm while Manson has taken control of Kaze after Kamikaze got up to one knee and ** THWAAP ** took a snap roundhouse kick right to the mouth. Kaze takes it like a troop but the back roundhouse to his neck effectively puts him out of business.

“Both men in control are working over a body part now that the match pace has slowed down to set up a finisher.”

“Dillon with those multiple arm wringers is taking it too Mak’s arm. You can tell he scouted last weeks tag match with me and Manson.”

While Francis is in the arm wringer Dillon looks to take him down to the mat with a kick to the back of his knee - but as he tries the kick to his kneecap Francis rolls through and gets up with a headstand flip reversing the hold.

On the other side of the ring Manson has lifted Kaze up into the air vertically pausing for a second before dropping him back to the canvas in a vertical suplex. He floats over for the cover and the long forgotten referee Sexton Hardcastle drops to make the count.

One

Two

“And a kick out by Kaze. We never got to talk about this little rivalry between

Manson and Kamikaze. If Manson was looking to beat anybody Kaze would be the pick since in his second match in the SJL he defeated the longtime vet.”

“Good job Manson wait to get some payback.”

Manson picks Kamikaze up and Kamikaze comes back like a house of fire nailing Manson with right hand after right hand as they get closer to Mak and Dillon who are now showing the crowd just how cool it looks to do a bunch of over hyped exaggerated wristlocks. Francis gains control and just as Kamikaze goes to Irish whip the stunned Manson Francis pulls on the wrist of Dillon executing the same action. Both Manson and Dillon go barreling into the ropes and come back to a Shoulder block each. Francis grabs the legs of Dillon and preps him for the figure four leg lock but Kaze has a different idea as after he grabs the legs of Manson he flips over the top bridging for a pin fall. Hardcastle hits the mat.

ONE

TWO-

“No as Francis breaks up the count.”

“This has been a hard fought match so far today, eh.”

“Sure it’s been hard fought but the Franchise has this one in the bag.”

“How so?”

“Uh… just wait and see…”

Francis picks Kaze up to his feet and starts to bad mouth him for trying to win the match. Francis moves right onto the attack with a knee to the gut, which flows right into a hammerlock, which gets parleyed into a kneeling jawbreaker.

“That move was about as above average as it gets.”

“I don’t get it…”

“You never do MacPhisto… you never do.”

But Francis is far from done as after he effectively stuns Kamikaze, he goes for one more stun if you will, nailing a stungun by lifting him of his feet and dropping him on the top rope. Kaze holds his throat and neck in pain stumbling out into the center of the ring…

…

Into an Uranage Suplex from the now standing Manson!!

“Did any of you guy see what happened to Tim Dillon?”

“I guess he got thrown out of the ring. Manson goes for the cover after scoring the Uranage!”

ONE

Francis looks up and stumbles trying to get there in time!

TWO

“Mak’s not going to make it over there in time!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMMIT!”

TH-

“But Dillon does breaking up the three count with a springboard leg drop! I guess he got thrown to the outside cause I never even saw him.”

“Nobody saw it coming but the rookie Tim Dillon just saved the match for everyone.” Adds CIA to Edwin’s earlier call.

Manson shakes off the leg drop and gets to his feet staring down Tim Dillon for costing him a shot at the title but before he even gets to act on that aggression the Franchise hook on a back waist lock and tries to hoist him overhead for a German suplex - but Manson counters with a standing switch – which Francis counters with two well placed back elbows to the head – but he was completely unprepared for Dillon grabbing his right arm and dropping to the mat executing a single arm DDT.

“Wow these guys are really picking on Mak’s arm, eh. I can’t say I blame them as Manson proved last match, if Mak can’t lift you he can’t hit the Franchise Tag.”

“Thank you Canadian Intelligence for that insightful commentary, I mean I’m sure people don’t know that if you can’t lift some one you can’t drop them on their tiny little head. Canadian Intelligence what an oxymoron.”

“King you are with out a shadow of a doubt the most dutiful heel I’ve ever seen. You just hate any and all thing good.”

“He can make fun of me all he wants but he knows in the back of his mind who the best in the JL is right now.”

As Dillon stands up Manson rushes him with fire in his eyes misses his revenge attack in the form of a roundhouse kick to the head but Kamikaze now back in the fight doesn’t miss with his powerslam of the savior Manson!

ONE!

TWO!

“And Dillon breaks up the pin. Now going for his own!”

ONE!

TWO!

“And Kamikaze breaks up the pin!”

Kami and Dillon both go toe to toe trading right hands back and forth until Kamikaze gains the advantage kicking him in the gut doubling Dillon over in pain. Kaze puts him in a standing head scissors looking to hit a powerbomb but Dillon back body drops him ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR!!

“What a counter by Dillon!”

“Mak is still down holding his arm and Manson can’t be feeling much better… uh I stand corrected.”

But that thought gets interrupted as Manson is up and grabs Dillon for a Inverted Swinging Neckbreaker – but Dillon counters breaking the hold Manson has around his neck and sliding behing him…

Hooking on a Inverted face lock of his own…

And then Dillon nails Blood and Whiskey his Inverted Elevated Reverse DDT on Manson. He stands to pin him and suddenly Mak Francis comes into the picture still protecting his arm but trying to nail him with a superkick – but Dillon dodges and goes for and Irish whip into the near ropes but Francis reverses short arming it and catching him in prime position for…

…

A back body drop TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

“And I’d say that Tim Dillon just caught some pay back. Getting hit with the same move that he just did moments ago to Kamikaze.”

Francis sees Manson staring to stir after the devastating Blood and Whiskey from Dillon so he picks him up to his vertical base. Then Francis lifts him up hooking on the front face lock with his weakened right arm. Then with his left arm instead of his normally used right he hits a much less impactful but dangerous all the same Franchise Tag!

“FISHAMANBUSTAH~! IT’S ALL OVER!!”

Francis cradles his right arm for a few seconds dropping on his back to cover Manson.

O

N

E

T

W

O

T

H

R

E

E!

“NO! MANSON GOT THE SHOULDER UP!”

“How could he kick out, dammit!”

“I don’t think Mak has anything left in the tank to finish anybody off with just look at him.” States CIA and it’s true as Francis is sitting up wondering what he can do to get this win.”

And Kamikaze who snuck back into the ring runs up behind Francis and leaps over top of him grabbing his neck and pulling it down in a reverse rolling neck breaker. Francis holds his neck in pain as Kami picks him up off the mat leaving Manson still hurting from his Franchise Tag and places him in a frint face lock. Francis tries to fight but he has nothing left in the tank so he gets lifted up and dropped on his head in a STALLING BRAINBUSTAH~!

Kamikaze drags Francis to the middle off the ring a little ways away from the still downed Manson and After placing Francis’s arm out away from his side Kamikaze goes up top looking for the Swan dive Head BUTT onto the Franchise’s arm and leaps…

“If he hits the Kamikaze headbutt onto that arm all he’ll have to do is lock in the weakest of arm bar subs and Francis will tap out for the first time in his career.

…

And falls…

…

AND FALLS…YELLING KAAMIKAAAAAZZZE ALL THE WAY DOWN…

…

Until he lands hitting nothing but canvas as Mak Francis has rolled over!

Kaze is down and Dillon is on the outside thrown there earlier and the only guys with anything left are Manson after taking a FISHERMANBUSTA but getting a little time to recover and “The Franchise” Mak Francis who just rolled over. Mak lays on his belly trying to catch his breath as Manson stumbles over to Kaze after taking that nasty Franchise Tag. He’s woozy and half dead but he has enough in the tank to lays on him in a lateral press pin hooking the far leg and pulling with all he has left. Hardcastle slides into position starting the count…

ONE

TWO

TH-

But he forgot about Francis and Mak grabs Manson by the arm hooking Kamikaze’s leg and puts in between his legs before flipping over the top and finishing the sequence that leads to the la Mahistrol pin.

O

N

E

T

W

O

Francis puts his feet on the second rope.

T

H

R

E

DING! DING! DING!

“The winner of this match and the second number one contender… “THE FRANCHISE” MAAAK FRAAAANCISssssss!”

“Mak did it! He’s one of the number one contenders!!”

“Well I guess he’s starting to realize that it’s about more then just the belt. I think he’s finally ready to do this match my way. Not for the belt but for the pride.”

“I can’t believe after all that he wins with a roll up assisted by the ropes.”

And SJL METAL since they ran over wants to quickly goes to a commercial break but…

September 20, 2002

Ah, the end of the night. The fans begins to leave the arena, and another great show comes to an end…but…the cameras don’t go off yet. In the ring lies Mak Francis, exhausted and angry. Inside the ring, standing, are Kamikaze, Tim Dillion, and Manson, all looking at Mak Francis. Mak gets up, using the ring ropes, as the announcers talk about what’s going on.

“…Aren’t the cameras suppost to be off?” Edwin ponders, looking around, “I don’t understand…but anyways, a great battle between these four men, as Mak Francis seems to be getting up…and boy, do Kami, Dillion, and Manson look pissed…”

“Oh…crap. Really. They should just leave Mak alone…” The Suicide King says.

“Really? Well, I mean…after what we just saw…I’m sure they have their reasons…” Axis says. As Mak Francis gets up, he looks slightly away from the three…and then spits in the face of Manson, the anti-sWo! Masons backs away, as he tries to dive at Mak in a punch…but he’s stopped by Dillion, who points to himself. Manson smiles, as they all turn to the sWo leader…

“Mak is going to get what he deserves, an ass kicking from…” Axis says, but he’s cut off, as a figure rushes from the back, armed with a chair as he slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, “OH MY GOD! LOOK OUT!”

Manson is the first to turn around and--

WHAM!

He’s the first victim of a vile chair shot! Kami is the second, as he rushes at the figure and—

WHACK!

He’s the second man to go down hard! The figure with the chair rushes at Dillion and WHACK! A chair shot right across the back. The figure stands as he watches the Irishman fall, as he rolls out of the ring, screaming. Mak Francis look up at the figure’s face…

…and smiles. As does Matt Myers.

“Augh. Mak Francis was about to get what he deserved and his little run-in buddy saved him…god, what an annoyance Matt Myers is…” Axis mumbles.

Mak Francis holds up his arms in glory, as he lets out a giant “WOOO!” into the air. He turns around to thank his partner and…

WHACK!

MAK FRANCIS GOES STRIAGHT DOWN WITH A CHAIR SHOT FROM MATT MYERS!

“WHAT THE…WHAT THE HELL?!” The Suicide King screams, “WHAT…I DON’T…HUH?!”

Matt Myers stands there, smiling, as he drops the chair, and demands a microphone from Funyon. Funyon hands Matt the microphone, as he looks down at the bleeding body of Mak Francis. Mak rolls around on the ground, as Matt Myers is handed a microphone and drops down to his knees. The crowd is going crazy.

“So, Mak, how does it feel. HOW DOES IT FEEL DO BE THE CURSE FORCED UPON THE SWO?!” Matt Myers screams, “I’ll tell you how it feels. It feels painful. It feels like pure agony. It feels like PURE SHIT! But no. No, no, no, no, no. Don’t worry. All this pain…all this anger…it’ll all come to an end. And it’ll all come to an end sooner than you think…

…Inside a Hell In The Cell.”

“OH. MY. GOD!” Axis screams, “HELL IN THE CELL! THE MOST BRUTAL, DEMONIC MATCH EVER CREATED, AND MATT MYERS AND MAK FRANCIS ARE GOING TO GO AT IN A HELL IN THE CELL!”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” Edwin screams, “WHAT A FINISH! WHAT A CLOSING CHAPTER TO THE sWo’s LEGACY! A HELL IN THE CELL MATCH BETWEEN THE TWO CO-LEADERS!”

Matt Myers pauses, as he says a few simple words before the cameras cut to the credits…

“That’s right Mak. I’m going to hell. And I’m taking you with me.”

The camera cuts to a commercial, as the camera zooms in the bleeding Mak Francis.

September 20, 2002

Summary

Fasaki KOs Blank, who looks to be MIA...

JTP dangerously jobs to Johnny...that is to say, Johnny Dangerous dangerously beats the Ripper.

Helmsley and Spike fight...but noboy knows who won.

That crazy guy...you know...the Judge...kicks everyone's ass and becomes the #1 Contender.

Mak Francis is my dog's bitch...but despite that, he gets his World Title rematch, despite having to fight a whole bunch of people to hold onto it.

Da "sorry about the crappy summary...Thugg is a busy, busy man" H

SJL Metal (September 19, 2002)

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