Man Slices Off Four Body Parts

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Man Slices Off Four Body Parts

Thu Sep 19, 9:43 AM ET

 

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man cut off the little finger on his right hand, then his scrotum, then his penis and finally his left hand in a drug-induced act of self-mutilation after arguing with his wife.

 

The man, believed to be high on amphetamines, attacked himself with a carving knife Tuesday in the town of Inverell 400 miles north of Sydney, police said Thursday.

 

"It is the most bizarre thing I have seen in 16 years in the police force," Inverell inspector Dave Harrington told Reuters.

 

Harrington said the 38-year-old man cut off his little finger while arguing with his wife inside their Inverell house and then chased her outside.

 

"He then proceeded to dismember his member," he said.

 

Police said the man was lucky ambulance officers witnessed the attack and prevented him from bleeding to death, adding that police recovered several body parts and packed them in ice in the hope they could be reattached.

 

The man was flown to Sydney for emergency microsurgery and was now in a stable condition, police said.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

"He then proceeded to dismember his member," he said."

 

Hahahaha...

 

Perhaps Hollywood actors/actresses should follow this example...

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

This reminds me far too much of the character of Hannibal Lecter convincing Mason Verger to eat his own face while hepped up on goofballs in the novel.

 

Ah well, maybe if his schlong is attatched he and John Bobbit can form their own production company or something....

[Guest The Czech Republic]

"he then proceeded to dismember his member" might be the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

[Guest MrRant]

How can you say "He proceeded to dismember his member" with a straight face to the press? I would be laughing my ass off.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

I'm thinking that somebody had a good chuckle during that interview. It doesn't state explicitly if he did or did not have a goofy grin on his face with that statement. I'm personally thinking the former and that his inner Beavis said, "Heh heh I said 'member' heh heh"

[Guest HBK16]

I would have hated to be the EMT that had to put his penis and scrotum in a baggy.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

How can you say "He proceeded to dismember his member" with a straight face to the press? I would be laughing my ass off.

I can't, I still haven't gotten "Hoot n' Toot Guerrera" with a straight face...

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

Hey, I know when *I'm* hopped up on amphetamines, I make sure to put a sign over my crotch that reads "DO NOT DISMEMBER!"

 

When will people learn...

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

I'm sorry if I'm questioning some sort of media guru, but where did you find out about this? All in all, I kinda find that hard to believe, especially the "dismember his member" bit. But, hey, if it did happen, the teenage male part of me does giggle at the word choices.

[Guest Some Guy]

If it's from Reuters it *has* to be true.

 

I think the cop was just joking around because of how stupid this guy is. I would've made a bunch of jokes to the press about it.

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

I'd agree that jokes would have to be made. I mean, that's in the regulation handbook for men. But still, if it's true, bad form for policemen to publicly make a joke like that, I'm pretty sure they can get into a lot of trouble over stuff like that. Not like I'll take the time to look up where I heard that. I think it was in one of the Darwin Award books. Maybe I'll look it up, if anyone really cares.

[Guest Some Guy]

He might get yelled at for it by the chief but nothing more, most likely.

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

Well, still, that's one yelling I'd care to miss. That'd be one statement that would be hard to justify, besides saying "Come on! It was really funny!" Which I would accept, but most people would deny. And so they'd give them a stern talking to, and that person feels a little down, but his friends are there, except that one guy in the corner desk who keeps going "I can't believe how juvenile you are" who just drones on and on, and then promotions come up, and that jerk get's your promotion, and even though he's got a better record than you, you're SURE it's because of the member comment, and so you start getting mad, slacking off at work, your friends are talking like normal but you know they're talking about you, and soon you're not working at all, and you get fired, and know what then? YOU'RE GONNA END UP LIVING IN A VAN BY THE RIVER! YOU HEAR ME! BY THE RIVER!

[Guest Some Guy]

LOL, Chris Farley owned all.

 

I think I'd make the dick jokes anyway, they make me laugh and I'm all that matters. And I always wanted to live near the water.

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

Well, hey, the ends justify the means, anyway. Of course, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Of course, that happened to me once. I was playing tag in kindergarden, and some kid ran into a tree limb. Nice and eye sized. They ended up putting in a no touch rule in school. Physical contact of any kind meant recess detention. I ended up getting recess detention, because everyone (but the eyepatched one) claimed that I was acting "wild and crazy." But, come on, it's not like I pushed the kid. I was nowhere near him! So, yea, I see where you're coming from with that whole making yourself laugh is all that matters.