Kinetic's random observations

[Guest Kinetic]

I'm going to take a stab at the format Kotzenjunge uses here, although these really will be random observations rather than a detailed account of everything that's ever happened to me, ever. Here we go:

 

 

--I don't think there's anything in life quite as satisfying as holding your urine in a few minutes longer than necessary. I'm brewing up a batch right now. How about you?

 

--My job is making me go bald. I don't generally wear a hat due to the baldness defect in my genetics, but I'm forced to when at work. As a result, I've noticed some definite thinning up front. I've always had this widow's peak thing going on, but that's easy enough to cover up and really comes in handy around Halloween. This thinning is a different thing altogether. My hair is one of my most prized possessions, too. Losing it will probably be the final straw that sends me over the edge.

 

--Speaking of work, there's a real dearth of do-able chicks up there. I often find myself engaged in conversation with one, thinking I'm doing alright, and then they make some sort of reference to their kid. And that's it. There's no way I'm dating a girl with a child, even if it's my own. Especially if it's my own. The rest of them are either unattractive, really surly, or all ghettoed out.

 

--I wonder if I'll ever have sex again. It doesn't seem likely.

 

--Call me old fashioned, but I believe ice cream is best served cold.

 

Kinetic

[Guest Incandenza]

--I don't think there's anything in life quite as satisfying as holding your urine in a few minutes longer than necessary. I'm brewing up a batch right now. How about you?

 

--My job is making me go bald. I don't generally wear a hat due to the baldness defect in my genetics, but I'm forced to when at work. As a result, I've noticed some definite thinning up front. I've always had this widow's peak thing going on, but that's easy enough to cover up and really comes in handy around Halloween. This thinning is a different thing altogether. My hair is one of my most prized possessions, too. Losing it will probably be the final straw that sends me over the edge.

 

--Speaking of work, there's a real dearth of do-able chicks up there. I often find myself engaged in conversation with one, thinking I'm doing alright, and then they make some sort of reference to their kid. And that's it. There's no way I'm dating a girl with a child, even if it's my own. Especially if it's my own. The rest of them are either unattractive, really surly, or all ghettoed out.

 

--I wonder if I'll ever have sex again. It doesn't seem likely.

 

--Call me old fashioned, but I believe ice cream is best served cold.

 

Kinetic

1. Same here. I find holding in my urine longer than necessary gives everything I do a greater sense of urgency.

 

2. Shave your head. Speaking of hair, I've been thinking of growing mine long again.

 

3. Yeah, that sucks.

 

4. Not with that attitude.

 

5. You're really Larry King-ing it here. Good job.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Dude, I totally disagree about the first one. Sure, it's all right for a little while, but I have this messed up bladder where if you hold it for too long it just won't come out, and it becomes really uncomfortable.

 

That sucks about your hair; I've actually been told lately that if I brush/comb my hair a certain way I have a "bald spot". How alarming... but yea, if you're losing it just shave it. That's what Kurt Angle did.

 

What's wrong with dating someone who already has a child? Is it just awkward to you?

 

Sex... eh. Who cares? I'd still rather have a relationship than just sex. Yet, somehow I need to find better crushes... I'm pretty sure my main squeeze now is a lesbian. Sigh...

 

How else is there to serve ice cream? Are you talking about that Dippin' Dots stuff? What is that actually like, I've never tried it?

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

1. Hmm...I refuse to go to the bathroom at any public place for fear of germs and or getting killed in the bathroom (and don't laugh, there have been several people killed in the bathroom at the mall and a couple other places around here and I don't think they've caught them yet..), so I have learned the art of holding it for long periods of time.

 

2. Being bald saves money! No shampoo/conditioner/hairspray/haircuts!

 

5. Actually, drinking melted ice cream is fun, as its basically just milk..

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Hey, my column started out this way, but it has strayed from the flock, sadly. You can have it, because Kotzenjunge's Story Time will now take its place.

 

And I don't say everything that's happened to me, ever. That would take up the whole hard drive of this computer with my insane memory.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Zack Malibu]

How else is there to serve ice cream? Are you talking about that Dippin' Dots stuff? What is that actually like, I've never tried it?

Dippin' Dots are served cold. In my area, the only place that has them is the IMAX Theater in the state's main mall, so my girlfriend and I would hit up IMAX before going into the normal theater just to get Dippin' Dots. And when I went to Six Flags this summer...I ate those things no less than 3 times. They're addicting.