Guest SP-1 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 I'll gladly start the trend in South Carolina, if that helps. Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge I'd help you here in the Charleston area, lol SpiderPoet Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted September 29, 2002 GASP! Where in Charleston do you live??? Fo sheez, Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CoreyLazarus416 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 Best...ideas...EVER... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 29, 2002 Subtlety is the key with the gnomes... Take a gnome, and spray it with some perfume, and put lipstick and fake eyelashes on it, then put a box of chocolates in its hand. That will creep them out more than any amount of stage blood. It would be illegal if I pretended any of this were actually happening, when in fact we know that it isn't. This thread is obviously not intended to be taken seriously; it is an exercise in humour and humour alone. Ahem. That said, Agent of Oblivion's suggestion is not yet subtle or disturbing enough. You have great potential, young one, but it takes a truly twisted mind to attain the rank of Evil Genius. Watch and learn, young one; watch and learn. In the imaginary box of chocolates, a couple of the chocolates should be semi-obviously tampered with, as if something else were concealed inside them. But nothing should actually be inside them. Which would mess with the hypothetical neighbours' heads even more, if these neighbours existed. They would cut open every chocolate and find the exact same thing they found in the chocolates which had been tampered with - nothing. Hypothetically. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 With all due respect, if I was in the hypothetical neighbor's situation, there is no way in hell I'm checking that box of chocolates. It's going into the trash immediately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 29, 2002 The hypothetical buildup of the last several days, coupled with the surrealism of a garden gnome in evening makeup, would have ensured absolutely that the imaginary neighbour would indeed check the chocolates. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest crandamaniac Report post Posted September 29, 2002 I have an idea! Place one gnome out with a note addressed to your neighbor that says something to the effect of "We come in peace". Keep this up over the course of a few days, making the notes get darker and darker each time they throw away the gnome. Then finish it up by placing a gnome holding a knife (plastic or real, it doesn't matter) standing behind the decapitated head of another gnome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 Again, with all due respect, with the hypothetical buildup, I am trusting absolutely nothing. The gnome could be holding a 100 dollar bill out in the open, and I'm still going to search it for booby traps. With a closed box such as a chocolate box, I'm going to asume that there is something unwanted in that box, and it's going in the garbage immediately. Even if the box is open and the chocolates are exposed, I'm still going to asume that all of the chocolates are rigged, and dismiss the box immediately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 29, 2002 If the hypothetical neighbours were that paranoid and nervous already, I'd expect they'd call the police to check it out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 Let me ask you this, Marney. If you are in that situation, are you going to accept that candy from that stranger? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 29, 2002 Nope. I'd call my office and have them send a bomb squad, hazmat, forensics, and a c-int sweep. I'd have the damn thing checked for radioactivity, biological agents, and explosives, and then I'd have it dusted for fingerprints. Then I'd check the files on everyone in a ten-mile radius. And after a few dozen suspects were in custody I'd personally carpet-bomb the entire site with napalm. Some people think I have a tendency to overreact, but I prefer to call it "just making sure." And few things provide better assurance than lots and lots of napalm. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 So, why bother with going to the trouble of sabatoguing the chocolates if they are going to be destroyed, instead of looked at? You admitted so yourself, unless we've moved away from that point and left me behind. Also, your process doesn't seem bad, but I think I could achieve the same point with wearing a raincoat, boots, some kind of mask, and using the longest stick I can find to poke at the gnome and the chocolates. Burning it, however, does seem like a smart idea. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 29, 2002 why bother with going to the trouble of sabatoguing the chocolates if they are going to be destroyed, instead of looked at? Most people aren't anywhere near as cautious as I am. The natural instinct of the sheep would be to investigate the chocolates themselves, partly out of natural curiosity, partly out of exasperation. Besides, the chocolates wouldn't actually have been tampered with, they would only look like they'd been tampered with. And that would make all the difference. Hypothetically. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 So, in reality, we are looking to cover all our bases. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CoreyLazarus416 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 Personally, I'd get my dumbass neighbor (who's 14, but has the mentality of an 8-year-old...yes, his parents are druggies) to inspect the chocolates, knowing full-well that he's expendable... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sandman9000 Report post Posted September 29, 2002 Well, if you've got a pawn you're willing to sacrifice, that can work too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted September 29, 2002 CWM, you need to post some pics of the gnome enslaught. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted September 30, 2002 How much does a scanner cost...if it isn't too expensive I can probably get one with my next pay check. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted September 30, 2002 You can buy one on the cheap for $35-50 at walmart. I'm not sure if your odd Canadian stores will be around that price. ANY WHY IS THERE PIZZA AT MCDONALDS? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cancer Marney Report post Posted September 30, 2002 Dude, just go to a Kinko's or something and pay a dollar. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted September 30, 2002 You can buy one on the cheap for $35-50 at walmart. I'm not sure if your odd Canadian stores will be around that price. ANY WHY IS THERE PIZZA AT MCDONALDS? McDick's has pizza? *rushes to McDonald's* None of the ones I know of do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted September 30, 2002 There is at the McD's when you are going across the WA/BC border. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted September 30, 2002 weird Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted September 30, 2002 We USED to have Pizza at the big one here in Abby...but the pizza wasn't very popular so they got rid of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest treble charged Report post Posted September 30, 2002 We USED to have Pizza at the big one here in Abby...but the pizza wasn't very popular so they got rid of it. I think all McDonald's used to have them (at least the ones in Canada), but I thought they got rid of that years ago. I mean, it was pretty shitty Pizza, if I remember correctly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted September 30, 2002 Sometimes It was good sometimes it was bad. One time I order one and It was burnt so badly when I poked it with a fork it started to crumble. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SP-1 Report post Posted September 30, 2002 I live in the general area. About 20-25 minutes from North Charleston. About 45 from Downtown/Mt. Pleasant area. I live kind of between Moncks Corner and Summerville. SP Also: Tripod sucks when it comes to image hosting . . . just felt like venting that. Tripod Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted September 30, 2002 *notices "SpiderPoet" has only two posts so makes with the welcome to the board crap* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SP-1 Report post Posted September 30, 2002 Aye. Thanks. Something came to mind with the gnomes . . . What if you could find some red reflective tape of some kind. Cut pieces out that would fit over a gnome's eyes. Then, when they open the door, they'd have an incredibly evil mythical forest creature with "glowing" (at first glance) red eyes glaring back at them. Just a thought. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest LaParkaMarka Report post Posted September 30, 2002 We USED to have Pizza at the big one here in Abby...but the pizza wasn't very popular so they got rid of it. Dude, you're in Abbotsford? That's fucking hilarious, since that's where I grew up, and where my parents still live. Well, unless you're talking about a different Abby then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
