OAOAST IntenselyHeldDOWN~! 9/21/02

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Ladies and Gentleman what a week it has been for the OaOasT. Just days ago, CWM won the title, and now AngleSault is gunning hard for him.

 

Not only that, but 4 OaOasTers formed an alliance, with their own show last week....What will they have to say this week?

 

Tensions have been rising within the Deadly Alliance. Leadership seems to be an issue between Alfdogg / Sandman as it was between Caboose / BPP a long time ago. Can the DA weather the storm?

 

Plus, the first King of the Deathmatch Bracket is announced!

 

Confirmed matches:

 

USTV Title Match: BPP © vs. Mike Van Siclen

 

AngleSault / Zack Malibu vs. TrebleCleft / CobainWasMurdered

 

Don't miss IZHD, coming live at 9pm EST!

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Mike Tenay: Folks, we'd like to thank our creative department for that ad...but the date of Doomsday is October 27th, not October 6th...Thank you.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Cut to the back where a limo arrives at the arena. Out come.....the OAOMEF! Superstar gets out first, followed by Angle-Plex and Jingus. MME comes out last, with his new OAOMEF World Title over his shoulder.

 

Security Guard: You can't be here........

 

The OAOMEF destroy the security guards. They walk into the arena.............

 

The OaOasT introductory graphic flashes, still shots of our wrestlers to the tune of “Superstar”, the final four showing Sandman with his X-Title, Greenmist and Nazmistry with the Tag belts, Big Poppa Popick raising the USTV title, and CobainWasMurdered slinging the OaOasT world championship over his shoulder.

 

The pyro rains down, and we cut to Mike Tenay.

 

Mike: Ladies and Gentleman, we are due to be joined by a returning Tony the Body *crowd pops* here momentarily, who will be my broadcast partner tonight! Let’s take you backstage as he comes out!

 

A cameraman races to find Tony walking towards the stage. He turns the corner and sees MME!

 

Tony: What are you doing here?

 

MME smiles, as AP, Superstar, and Jingus all ambush Tony. Jingus hits Tony with a steel pipe. Superstar and Angle-Plex star stomping Tony on the ground. Tony is bleeding everywhere. MME is about to say something when security runs around the corner. The OAOMEF runs away.

 

Mike: Ladies and gentleman, that was unplanned. We have a situation here, be back momentarily.

 

Ad for Juicy Juice…again…

 

Backstage, Thunderkid runs into HHH…

 

HHH: I uhhhh am the…game…uhhh…. You’re Naz…..uhhh Mistry?

 

Thunderkid: No dipshit, I’m thunderkid.

 

HHH: I’ll uhh, hold you down…uhh

 

Thunderkid: I got a better idea *WHACK*

 

HHH goes down in a battered heap.

 

Thunderkid leaves a bottle of vasoline lying at HHH’s backside, and the familiar music of APA starts up as we leave.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

The Masked Mystery Eskimo is backstage with Michael Cole. MME is accompanied by, as ever, Derek the Fish, but also is joined this week by his new butler and general lackey, Waltman.

 

MC: Eskimo, we've seen you become rich. We've seen you become the owner-

MME: AND champion!

MC: -of your own federation. But all the fans are asking this: If you hate the OAOAST so much, why are you still here? Some might say you have no confidence in your own venture!

 

:: Eskimo fixes MC with a deadly look, and Derek spits on him ::

 

MME: Cole, Cole, Cole. You really are an insignificant little twerp, aren't you? Why am I still in the OAOAST? Because I want to be. Because I want its titles, because I want to show all the remaining members of the OAOAST that its time to submit to my will.

MC: How are you going to do that?

MME: Isn't it obvious, you disgusting swine? Well, I'll spell it out for you. D-O-O-M-S-D-A-Y. It's all about Doomsday. The USTV title will become the property of Angle-Plex and the OAOMEF. JINGUS and I will become OAOAST tag team champions. The X title WILL come to the OAOMEF too. One of us will win that tournament. I could tell you who it will be, but I don't like spoilers.

MC: You seem awfully confident, Eskimo.

MME: Cole, that's the most intelligent thing you've ever said. I am, because the OAOMEF is here, and its getting stronger every day. Now, this interview is over. Waltman, if you would?

 

:: Waltman throws Cole across the room into a corner, then runs and delivers a BroncoBuster! ::

 

MME: Ergghh...why does he do that? Couldn't we have got someone...normal?

 

BPP: How’s this for normal you backstabbing SONOFABITCH!!!!!

 

BPP runs into the scene and flattens Eskimo against a table. He picks the stunned Igloo inhabitant up and Synchronicity Bombs him through the partially broken table.

 

BPP: This will teach you to fuck with our show, fucking cheap ass punk!

 

The camera fades out as the crowd, is shocked…

 

 

 

HHH is seen walking around with an obvious limp…Anglesault strikes from behind.

 

AS: Hold down Angle! Damn you!

 

The aWoSledge reappears as the American sledge, and AS pounds HHH’s skull in…

 

HHH: uhhh…uhhh…

 

AS: Nice vocabulary…bitch…

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Elsewhere…

 

Backstage in their trademark "high class" dressing room, The In Crowd are sitting around, relaxing while they can. Alison is rubbing Evenflow's shoulders, while Zack sips on an Arizona Energy Drink.

 

ZM:"'Stressed?"

 

EfDDT:"Little bit. Lots of shit going down lately, Zack."

 

ZM:"Tell me about it. Look man, about this Deathmatch tournament..."

 

EfDDT:"Nah dude, honestly, I'm not sweating that. I'm still breathing after the attempted homicides that Sandman's done...other than him, I'm probably top choice to take the thing home."

 

ZM:"The Official In Crowd Deathmatch Champion?" Hmm, don't know how that's gonna look on a T-Shirt, but we've got great PR people, they'll come up with something."

 

EfDDT:"You know it."

 

ZM:"Know what I don't get..."

 

EfDDT:"'Sup?"

 

ZM:"Superstar. Man, I was all for that kid breaking out on his own, you and me both were. Says it's nothing personal, he's just not into being with the group, wants to break out on his own...now look. Now him and the others...Eskimo, Jingus, and Angle-Plex, I don't get it."

 

EfDDT:"You think he was pulling our leg all along?"

 

ZM:"Dude! C'mon give yourself, and myself for that matter, some credit. I'm just saying, it's obvious Superstar isn't 'Honest Abe' anymore, so he could try to put one over on us. There's enough crap going on around here, between the new guys, Popick, all that jazz. Now a guy who was supposed to be our friend is becoming something to worry about."

 

A knock is heard at the door.

 

EfDDT:"Probably good ol' MC, ready to do the ritual In Crowd interview."

 

ZM:"C'Mon in, Mikey."

 

The door opens, and in walks Big Poppa Popick.

 

EfDDT:"Dude, you're not Michael Cole!"

 

BPP:"Thank God for that."

 

Zack gets up from his seat.

 

ZM:"What's up, Popick?"

 

BPP:"Relax Zack, I just came to wish you luck in your match tonight. You know, you and Anglesault have been getting along well recently...don't let the fact that he's getting the title shot get you hot under the collar. Everyone's gotta work together these days."

 

ZM:"So it seems."

 

BPP:"Anyways, I'm headed back to my lil' office to sign a few contracts, maybe fire some people...depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I'll check you cats later."

 

BPP exits The In Crowd dressing room just as Anglesault walks by. AS shoots a look at BPP, who continues on his way.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Former OAOAST World Champion Alfdogg is seen just arriving to the arena. Alfdogg is in a worse mood then usual, bumping his way past backstage workers without saying anything to anyone. Alf grabs one worker by the shirt and pins him up against the wall.

 

“Sandman and the others here yet?”

 

The scared worker looks for words.

 

“No, no, no sir. Sandman isn’t here, but TK and Reject are.”

 

Alf drops the worker and marches towards the locker rooms. He finds one with the door marked “Deadly Alliance” and kicks it open. Inside, a startled TK and Reject grabs chairs and prepare to defend themselves. Alf drops his bags and holds up his hands.

 

“Woah, woah, hold on guys. I’m not here to fight and hurt you, I’m here to fight and hurt Sandman. Now, where is he?”

 

Alf’s question is answered as the door opens behind him. Alf turns and sees the new OAOAST X-Title champion standing before him, with a wide, disturbing grin on his face.

 

“Hiya buddy. Came back for another asskicking?”

 

“Shut up. I got the message that you three game me last week. I was acting pretty shitty to all of you, and I deserved what I got. I’m sorry, I apologize, and I will try and ensure that it will never happen again.”

 

TK and Reject seem to nod and agree, but Sandman has other ideas.

 

“You think that was a message? Your damn right that was a message that we gave you last week, but it looks like you got the wrong one. Us three, WE are the Deadly Alliance. YOU, Alf, are NOT!”

 

TK begins to protest.

 

“Hold on, Sandman. I know that was the plan, but if Alf said he was sorry, maybe we should let him back in?”

 

“Let me back in? I am the leader of the Deadly Alliance! I control what goes on in this group. In face, we need to meet later and iron out some issues. I have things to take care of.”

 

Alf marches out of the ring, with a confused TK, a nonchalant Reject, and a furious Sandman in his wake. Sandman throws down his belt and starts to go after him, but TK grabs Sandman’s arm and pulls him back.

 

----------------------------------

 

The In Crowd and Anglesault are discussing battle plans in a locker

room.

 

evenflowDDT: I don’t even know why I’m here. Why am I anywhere? She’s

not with me, she’s sick… I need her… he probably did this to her, he…

 

Anglesault (cutting Flow off mid-sentence): So Zack, about this tag

match we have tonight – you and me against the champ and his flunky, you’re up for the challenge, right?

 

Zack Malibu: Is there ever any doubt? I’ve been on top for my entire

life: in my days in the indys, I held every belt; in high school, I was the most popular kid in school and already an American Idol. Hell, even as a baby I stole the spotlight of the Nativity play when I was Baby Jesus! Don’t worry about…

 

The door bursts open and Jingus shoves evenflowDDT and Anglesault

across the room, then grabs Zack and gives him a vicious DevilBomb! Superstar follows up with a StarPower II to his ex-stablemate, and the #1 Contender for the USTV title, Angle-Plex, delivers a German suplex, a Dragon suplex, and finally an Angle-Plex! Lastly, The Masked Mystery Eskimo gives Zack a Blizzard Bomb then locks in the Frostbite Facelock until Zack passes out. He then takes off his OAOMEF belt and shoves it into the camera.

 

Masked Mystery Eskimo: You know what the problem with OAOAST always

was? Too damn “top heavy”… always the same guys in every main event. What about the new blood? Try the OAOMEF boys, ‘cuz this belt will actually give you an opportunity without having to sleep with the boss’ daughter or kiss up to all the "precious fans".

 

Masked Mystery Eskimo removes the belt, only to bash the cameraman with

it. The camera falls and turns to snow as the OAOMEF can be heard laughing and walking away.

-----

Coming back from the break, Anglesault is in shock, having seen his

partner for the evening totally destroyed. evenflowDDT is frantic and in tears at his partner’s side.

 

evenflowDDT: Zack? ZACK?! Dude… no! No no no no no no no! I failed you,

I hurt you, I…

 

Zack weakly smiles and tries to get up. evenflowDDT’s face lights up.

 

Zack: You never fail me bro, always remember th… OW! My [beep] back! I

can’t get up! Dude, you don’t want to fail me, take my place in the match tonight.

 

evenflowDDT: But I can’t, I’ll never…

 

Zack: Please! I’ll be hurt if you don’t, now go!

 

evenflowDDT: OK, I’ll try!

 

evenflowDDT runs out leaving Anglesault and Zack alone.

 

Anglesault: You sure you’re OK?

 

Zack: I’m out for the night, man…

 

Anglesault: Damn. ::Anglesault motions to the door:: Uhh… you sure

HE’s OK?

 

Zack: Who, evenflow? He’s a good guy… he’s improving. He’ll do fine.

Best of luck in your match.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

In another part of the arena…

 

 

The four Deadly Alliance members are in their locker room, circled up. Alf begins to speak.

 

“All right. We may have lost the World Belt at Excessive Force, and blew a chance to gain the Tag Belts, but we do have the X-Title.

 

“You mean, I have the X-Title. I succeeded where you blew it, Alf.”

 

Alf rolls his eyes and continues.

 

“Doomsday is coming up. All title shots there have more or less been accounted for, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t try to sneak in ahead of time and steal a belt away, and fuck with everyone’s plans.”

 

“Won’t be happening. Watts has said that he’s keeping a tight lid on title shots. It will take a miracle for him to force someone to defend a belt before the PPV.”

 

Alf is starting to lose his cool.

 

“What is your problem? Why do you keep interrupting me?”

 

“Because I know what is going on, and you don’t. My head is clear, your head is stuck up your ass.”

 

Alf is about ready to snap.

 

“Alright, that just means that we will have to find some other way to make an impact. Sandman already has his little DeathMatch tournament,”

 

“Which you TWO are in, right?”

 

Sandman points at TK and Reject, who look away. Alf has finally had it.

 

“You know what, Sandman, I’ve had it with you. I’ve had it with your attitude, I’ve had it with your language, I’ve had it with the fact that you are even here. Man, I was hoping that Watts would kick you out of the Fed.”

 

Sandman stands up and gets in Alf’s face.

 

“Look at the belt, Alf. It means that at least one of us can get the job done. Guess which one that is.”

 

Alf stands up and gets in Sandman’s face.

 

“You think my head is stuck up my ass? Well, I do know that if I ask Watts for a shot at that belt, he’ll give it to me. Anything to stop your little deathmatch tournament.”

 

“You want some bitch?”

 

“Oh yeah, I want some.”

 

“Fine. Let’s add this. Winner gets control of the Deadly Alliance.”

 

TK and Reject begin to protest, but are shut up by Alf and Sandman.

 

“That’s fine by me. Title vs. Control. It’s on TONIGHT!”

 

“Bring it. I took your ass out last week, and I’ll take it out again this week!”

 

Sandman leaves the meeting, leaving Alf, TK, and Reject behind. Alf turns to the other two members.

 

“What happened last week; that will not happen again this week. Will it?”

 

TK and Reject look confused, unsure of what is going on. Alf sighs, rolls his eyes, and goes to find Bill Watts.

 

Mike: Well fans, we finally can have our first match…Big Poppa Popick takes on Van Siclen for the USTV title!

 

------------------------------------------------------

HHH is wiping his brow with a towel, when a voice is heard.

 

Sandman: That’s my towel….

 

HHH: And you uhhh are who uhhhhh?

 

Sandman: I’m the king…

 

Jericho: of the world! HAHAHA Take this your sumbitch! Jericho’s black hummer nails HHH, pulling his quad out as Jericho speeds off…

 

Sandman: Fucking rookie…this is how you injure someone….

 

 

Big Poppa Popick enters to “Sweetness” and the crowd pops large for him. BPP smiles and saunters ringside, happy with how the night has been treating him, and for one facing an opponent who is at least somewhat honorable.

 

Van Siclen enters to “Hate Me Now” and the arena lights up for him too. He enters the ring and taps BPP’s USTV belt, then shakes the champ’s hand in a show of sportsmanship. The ref signals for the bell, but wait…

 

The OAOMEF runs out and surrounds the ring. BBP and Van Siclen look around, and realize they’re is out-numbered. AP tries to get in the ring, but BBP knocks him off the ring apron with a right hand.Jingus and Superstar run in and tackles Van Siclen, tossing him outside an into the announce table, knocking Mike out cold. MME gets a chair and smacks BBP across the head with it. AP gets on the top rope and delivers a frog splash to the fallen BBP. Superstar picks BBP up and hits him with "Star Power". Jingus lifts up BBP easily and hits the Hellbuster on him. BBP is down as MME puts on the Frostbite Facelock. BBP is hurt. AP sees security running to the ring and tells the rest of the OAOMEF to get out of there. The OAOMEF run into the audience as security chases after them. Paramedics check on BBP in the ring.

 

 

The first bracket for the X-Title King Of The Deathmatch Tournament at Doomsday has been released!

 

The SuperStar vs. Naz Mistry vs. Thunder Kid!

 

That’s right, SuperStar vs. Naz Mistry vs ThunderKid in the first round of the KODM at Doomsday!

 

The other 3 brackets will be released in the coming weeks as will the gimmicks for the matches!

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

::Smells Like Teen Spirit Hits and CWM with TC in tow appear on the entrance ramp carrying his OAOAST Championship over his shoulder and carrying a bottle of JUICY JUICE in his other hand::

 

::CWM walks slowly down to the ring staring down a ringside fan holding up an Anglesault sign. CWM jumps up on the ring apron and spits out a mouthful of JUICY JUICE, spraying the crowd with bright red juicyness::

 

::CWM stalks into the ring ang grabs a Microphone::

 

CWM: Ladies And Gentlemen welcome To MY show...INTENSELY HELD DOWN! This is MY show and you are MY crowd, and THIS is my Championship! Why? Because I AM THAT FUCKING GREAT~! I am the best in the Wrestling World.

 

But even though I know I'm the greatest there are doubters. Mindless critics who chant "Anglesault" "Anglesault" whereever I go. But at Doomsday I'm going to prove the doubters wrong. Because At Doomsday I'm going to pin Anglesault 1.2.3. In the middle of the ring. And Then I'm going to take a sledgehammer...and CRIPPLE HIM!

 

After I've crippled Anglesault I'll cripple every other superstar who gets in my path wether they be OAOAST, OAOMEF, WWE, or whatever!

 

I planned on saying more but you people aren't worth my time!

 

::CWM starts to leave the ring when a fan wearing a Anglesault shirt charges the ring. CWM grabs the fan by the throat::

 

CWM: You SEE?!? This Is what I'm talking about! You people don't respect me! Well If I have to beat respect into you I will! One by One!

 

::CWM nails the fan with a right and then gives him a POLLYCUTTER. CWM isn't done though as he gives the fan a CRAdLE PILEDRIVER on the OAOAST CHAMPIONSHIP!::

 

CWM: Now who were we facing again TC?

 

“True Faith” hits and evenflowDDT, managing to look both uneasy and

confident, makes his way down the ramp, but stops at the head and looks

back as “Born in the U.S.A.” blares and pyros go off. The crowd pops huge as Anglesault appears and signals evenflowDDT for the two of them to rush the ring!

 

The bell rings as all four men are exchanging rights and lefts in the

ring. Treble Cleft clotheslines evenflowDDT out of the ring, then holds Anglesault as cobainwasmurdered delivers a series of hard shots straight to the gut. The ref forces TC back into the corner, and he obliges, but not without a last cheap shot to Anglesault’s lower back. CWM and Anglesault lock up, and Anglesault gets behind CWM and hits a German suplex. He holds on for another, but CWM elbows his way out of it and snapmares AS. He follows up with a thunderous rib-breaker, then tosses AS outside. Treble Cleft teases entering the ring to distract the ref, as CWM rolls out, and grabs the TIRE IRON WITH CUSTOM GRIP~! He delivers several shots to AS and one to the back of the head, then tosses his weapon into the ring. The ref finally notices and tries to DQ the two, but before he can get the call out… CRACK! CWM smashes the ref with the tire iron, knocking him out cold!

 

The crowd boos thunderously as CWM admires his handiwork and smiles at

them. He then notices that evenflowDDT has made his way back up to the apron, and taunts him to enter the ring. Oblivious to what has happened to his tag team partner, evenflowDDT sees the ref knocked out and hops off the apron to run, but Treble Cleft meets him with a lariat, then grabs him and rams him into the ring steps. TC tosses Flow back into the ring and chokes him, almost to death. With no tag partner, ref, or even stablemate to help, Flow is helpless as TC thrusts him up and tosses him to CWM, who delivers a devastating Pollycutter variation on the way down. TC grabs the limp, stunned evenflowDDT and tosses him into the corner as CWM rolls out to check that AS is still down for the count.

 

Treble Cleft leans evenflowDDT against the corner, then taunts and

slaps him a few times so he regains consciousness. He then delivers a “Hundred Million” knife-edged chops! Flow flops down, and TC lets his guard down, only for Flow to come back with a cheap shot downstairs and a Bogus Journey! CWM notices Flow wrenching his tag partners arm, and he hits ringside. Flow lets go of TC’s arm and barely dodges a SPEAR from CWM. CWM ricochets off the ropes and right into a neckbreaker from Flow. Flow hesitates for a second and looks around nervously, before lifting up CWM and giving him a jawbreaker.

 

He sets CWM up and delivers the Primadonna, forgetting in

the spur of the moment that the ref is still totally out. CWM kicks out and rolls through into an Incesticide Lock. TC is back on his feet, and locks in his own “American Psycho” submission hold. The crowd boos as Flow howls in pain, but the boos turn to cheers as Anglesault recovers, grabs the OAOAST belt, and breaks the double submission with a diving belt-shot to WM. TC breaks his half of the hold and tears the belt away from AS, but AS drop-kicks it into his face!

 

CWM is back on his feet, and grabs evenflowDDT to whip him into AS, but

Flow reverses, sending CWM into his own tag partner! Both men are down, but,

swept up in the moment, Flow taunts madly and gives CWM the “Dilemma”

DDT! Flow covers, but the ref is still out! The crowd goes crazy, as

Anglesault recovers and drags over the ref and lifts and drops his arm for 1…2…3!

 

Post-match, Anglesault lifts evenflowDDT’s arm in victory, but Flow

chokes and runs away.

 

 

 

 

A camera pans to the back, where CobainWasMurdered is exiting his car hurriedly to leave. As he opens the door, he screams and runs away…

 

AngleSault comes into view, chuckling, and heads around to the driver’s side, and pulls a gnome from the seat, all dressed in red, white, and blue…

 

AS laughs as we can still hear CWM screaming “Not the gnomes again!”

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

OAOAST X-Title Match

Barbed Wire and Lightbulb Boards

Alfdogg (challenger) vs. Sandman9000 (Champion)

 

“The Wall” hits as an angry Alfdogg comes down the aisle. Alf is pissed off that his entire career seems to be crumbling around him. Defeating Sandman would put a belt around Alf’s wait and control back in his grasp.

“Five Minutes Alone” hits as Sandman9000 comes down the ramp, dragging the X-Title behind him. It’s Sandman’s first belt, but he doesn’t care. Sandman just wants to hurt people, and the KODM that he is throwing down at Doomsday is the perfect time to do so. He just needs to hold onto the belt until then.

There are two barbed wire boards and two fluorescent lightbulb boards, one board in each corner. No DQ, no countout, other weapons are allowed.

Before the bell can ring, “God of Thunder” hits, as Thunder Kid and Reject come out. Reject has a barbed wire ladder, while TK has a barbed wire bat. Both men stand on opposite sides of the ring, weapons in hand. Alf smiles at TK, while Sandman smiles at Reject. There appears to be an uneasy tension around the ringside area.

The bell rings, as Sandman and Alf circle each other. Both men lock up, as Alf drives to drive Sandman backwards into the barbed wire board. Sandman lets go and gets away, as Alf stares at him. Sandman licks his finger and moves in for another lockup, but Alf ducks at gets a rear grapples. Alf brings Sandman near a lightbulb board, looking to toss Sandman through it, but Sandman elbows his way out. Both men have a standoff, as the crowd is unsure what to make of the match.

Sandman goes over to the lightbulb board and pulls a bulb off, threatening Alf. Alf turns and does the same, as both men are brandishing a weapon. Both men circle the ring, lightbulb in hand. Alf takes a swing at Sandman, who ducks and moves. Sandman with a roundhouse, which Alf is able to sidestep. Alf swings at Sandman, who moves as Alf hits the top rope and breaks his bulb. Alf is stunned, allowing Sandman to swing his bulb like a bat and smash Alf across the back! Alf is stunned, allowing Sandman to hit a belly-to-back suplex.

Sandman grabs a barbed wire board and places it onto the mat. Sandman picks Alf up, and shoots him off the ropes. Sandman ducks his head to go for a backbody drop onto the barbed wire board, but Alf catches him with a kick to the chest. Sandman reels, Alf backs up and hits a spinning heel kick. Sandman staggers near the barbed wire board, but is able to jump over the board and onto the mat.

Alf comes over as Sandman is standing, and nails a forearm shot, knocking Sandman out to the apron. Alf hits a second-rope springboard dropkick, knocking Sandman out to the floor next to TK. Alf moves the barbed wire board out of the way, then runs the ropes. Alf goes for the Space Flying Alf Drop, but Sandman grabs the barbed wire bat and nails Alf in the stomach as Alf goes for the backflip part! Alf is down on the mat, holding his stomach, as Sandman is bent over, leaning on the bat.

Sandman digs around under the ring, and pulls out a table. Sandman bridges the table across the ring apron and the guardrail, and places Alf across the table. Sandman slides into the ring, and runs the ropes, and leaps over with a no-hands somersault senton, but TK moves Alf, and Sandman smashes through the table!

Both men are down on the outside, as TK throws both men into the ring, as well as the barbed wire bat. Both men are struggling to their feet, as they simultaneously see the barbed wire bat. Both men lunge for the bat at the same time, grabbing the handle and the barbed wire barrel. Both men stand, hands still on the bat, when Alf kicks Sandman in the stomach. Sandman is still holding onto the bat, so Alf manages to get an over-the-shoulder throw, sending Sandman down to the mat. Sandman is still holding onto the bat, so Alf places his foot on top of the bat and begins to press down. The bat gets closer, closer, inches away from Sandman’s face when he finally lets go. Sandman tries to sneak attack Alf, who dodges the attack and cracks Sandman on the back of his skull with the barbed wire bat!

The crowd groans, as Alf begins to hit Sandman on the back with the barbed wire bat. Alf moves Sandman to his knees, then sets up a camel clutch with an assist from the barbed wire bat! Alf is grinding the barbed wire bat against Sandman’s face, as the blood begins to flow! Alf lets go of the bat, and pulls another lightbulb off one of the boards. Alf places the bulb against Sandman’s back, and smashes it with the barbed wire bat! Sandman rolls around on the mat in agony!

Alf calls for two chairs, as Reject tosses them in. Alf drills Sandman with a T-Bone suplex to soften him up, then sets both chairs up. Alf grabs the barbed wire board from the mat, and bridges it across both chairs. Alf whips Sandman off the ropes, and lifts him for the AA Spinebuster on the barbed wire board, but Sandman hit a thumb to the eyes. Sandman pulls Alf down and sets him up for a Messiah Bomb onto the barbed wire board, but Alf is able to slip out from behind. Sandman rushes at Alf, who shoves Sandman into the ropes, Sandman rebounds, and Alf drills Sandman with the AA Spinebuster through the barbed wire board!

Sandman is trying to free himself from the mess of wood and barbed wire he is trapped in, as Alf throws the barbed wire bat onto Sandman. Alf thinks about a pin, but instead pulls a lightbulb board out of the corner. Alf bridges the ring apron and the guardrail with the lightbulb board. Alf walks over to Sandman and stomps on him a few times, before pulling Sandman out of the barbed wire. Alf is leading Sandman over to the lightbulb board, when Sandman shoves Alf, sending Alf over the top rope and onto the apron, nearly through the lightbulb board. Sandman steps through the ropes, and kicks Alf in the stomach a few times. Sandman hooks Alf up for a suplex, looking to send him through the lightbulb board with the Edgecrusher! However, Alf blocks, and lifts Sandman up for a suplex, but Sandman flips over Alf, into the ring. Alf turns, and gets nailed in the stomach by Sandman. Sandman grabs the ropes, flips over Alf, and hits a SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB THROUGH THE LIGHTBULB BOARD!

Both men are down in the wreckage of broken glass and wood, as Reject grabs both men and throws them into the ring. After a few moments, Sandman is up first. He rolls the barbed wire bat over to TK, and tells him to climb onto the apron, which TK does after grabbing the bat. Sandman pulls Alf, who is also busted open now, and whips him towards TK. However, Alf reverses, and Sandman heads towards TK, who clocks Sandman in the head with the barbed wire bat! Sandman is reeling backwards, as Alf lifts Sandman up, and drops him on his head with the BURNING HAMMER! Alf goes for the cover, 1….2…Reject climbs onto the apron and throws the barbed wire ladder at Alf, breaking up the cover!

TK and Reject slide into the ring, arguing with one another. TK points at Alf, while Reject points at Sandman. Both men stop talking and look at each other. Suddenly, TK and Reject attack both Sandman and Alf! TK and Reject stomp away at their fellow DA members, beating the living crap out of them. TK and Reject pick up Sandman, and drive him head first into the lightbulb board in the corner, which doesn’t break, but the bulbs do! TK and Reject hang Alf in the tree of woe, and place the two chairs across his face. Both men scale perpendicular turnbuckles, and hit stereo van terminators! TK and Reject have laid out Sandman and Alfdogg! TK grabs a mic.

 

“Hey! We don’t give a fuck about Sandman, we don’t give a fuck about Alfdogg, we don’t give a fuck about the DA, and we don’t give a fuck about any of you! Listen, we don’t give a fuck who wins the match. Hey, Sandman, you win, we’ll be in your little deathmatch thing at Doomsday. Alf, you win, we don’t fucking care. Hey, this whole Deadly Alliance thing, it’s over. The only ones deadly around here, are us two! Fuck all of you!”

 

TK throws down the mic, as he and Reject leave, with Sandman and Alf down in the ring. With there being no DQ and no countout, the official can’t rule the match over! Suddenly, the OAOMEF come walking down the aisle!

Masked Mystery Eskimo, Jingus, The SuperStar, and Angle-Plex are all heading towards the ring. They stand at the end of the ramp, laughing at how both men are down on the mat. Sandman looks like he is stirring first, as Sandman sees Alf down, and slowly crawls over and covers, 1….2….Alf kicks out!

The OAOMEF look stunned at ringside, as Sandman, face covered in blood yet again, can’t believe it either. Sandman drags the final barbed wire board out of the corner, and places it on the mat. Sandman drags a lifeless Alf to his feet, pulls Alf up to his shoulders, and drills him with a PSYCHO DRIVAH~! onto the barbed wire board! Instead of going for the pin, Sandman applies the H8 Lock instead! Alf isn’t moving, as the official counts it as a submission and calls for the bell!

 

Winner: Sandman9000 in 16:12

Via: Official stoppage, Alf unable to continue.

 

The OAOMEF slide into the ring and begin to do a massive beatdown of Alf and Sandman. Jingus sets up two chairs and props the barbed wire board, with Alf still facedown on it, across the chairs. Jingus picks Sandman up, and the other three assist to powerbomb Sandman through Alf and the barbed wire board! SS hits Sandman with the barbed wire bat, as Angle-Plex drives the barbed wire ladder into Alf’s skull, as MME direct traffic. Finally, MME grabs the X-Title, spits on it, and throws it into the human wreckage of Sandman, Alf, wood, and barbed wire. The OAOMEF hold their hands high, celebrating their deed. The four leave, as medical attention hits the ring to take care of Sandman and Alf.

 

Mike: Someone get help out here. We’ve got major trouble, someone get Bill Watts on the line now! What the!!!!!

 

The medical personnel attack the OAOMEF from behind, dumping Angle-Plex and Superstar hard onto the stretchers outside. One rips off a blond wig, it’s Greenmist! Mist sprays Eskimo with his blinding Red Mist, and MME walks right into the other medic, who hits a Positively End of the Line on the Eskimo!

 

Mike: My god, its NazMistry and Greenmist, our tag team champions!

 

Jingus goes for a clothesline on both, but the dynamic duo dodge, and hit a double kick to the groin of Jingus! The big man goes down, and Naz along with Green scale the turnbuckle…NazMistry flies off and hits a big time 5 Star Alf Splash on the monster’s back, while Greenmist leaps just seconds later with his

Flippy leg-drop thing

 

Mike: What a version of the Harlem…no wait, the Mistifyier by Greenmist on Jingus!

 

The tag champs grab Alfdogg and Sandman, load them onto a stretcher and head for the hills while the OAOMEF recover…By god, what will happen next!

 

…..Static….

 

A graphic appears

 

Next week…

 

AngleSault

Masked Mystery Eskimo

 

US Window Factory Match

(whatever that is)

 

 

Props to:

Sandman, Van Siclen, Angle-Plex, MME, Evenflow, and Zac as usual.