Guest Goodear Report post Posted September 24, 2002 Hey everyone, It's time for another poorly written, not so much funny, and just sort of there review of Starcade '97! The show that has made me vow to myself that I would never buy a pay-per-view again, you know, live? Anyway, here's a sneak preview! There's a lot more on the main page, go there NOW MISTER! or MISSUS! "Total Package" Lex Luger vs. Buff Bagwell THE MATCH: Since this match blows, I've decided to write it all in SUPER TERRIFIC PURO MODE!!! If anything, this will amuse me. And quite frankly, I'm the only person I care about. Luger and Bagwell lock up, and break cleanly. This establishes that neither guy has a power advantage and that they are going to have to resort to other means to win this one. Luger's first gambit involves spitting on Bagwell, and he sells it! HE IS A BITCH, MISTER!!! Bagwell hits a knee and tries to hiptoss Luger out of a corner, but Luger won't hear of that and instead hiptosses Bagwell away. A gorilla press and a LARIATOOOOOOO later Bagwell goes flying out of the ring. Buff walks back to the entranceway and Vincent comes out to lend a hand, and Bagwell declares that "Now it's fair." Ha Ha! See, cause there it is two on one… Bagwell = RUDO DICK HEEL!!! Bagwell goes in for some brawling, but Luger will not be denied do to his fighting spirit. So he sends Bagwell to the guardrail and the ring post. But when Vincent sticks his nose in, Bagwell manages to get some of his boring offense in. Luger hits some elbows and a boot and a LARIATOOOOOOO! But Bagwell makes the cover (?) and gets a 2.9999999999999999999!!! Oh god this just sucks…. let us just fast-forward a whole bunch of nothing and cut to the chase huh? Luger racks Bagwell, Savage runs out, Luger racks Savage, Norton runs out, Norton hits Luger with a dog collar… Bagwell pins. YAY! Oh let me say one more thing. BACKDROPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! There, I'm done. THE RESULT: Buff Bagwell pins Lex Luger in 16:34 DUD WHY DUD: Bagwell controls the majority of this match, but his offense is literally out of the 1980s with nothing more exciting than a clothesline to pass the time waiting for Luger to make his paint-by-numbers come back. It's not like Luger is the greatest seller in the world either, so the whole product suffers as a result. And whose bright idea was it to give this thing more than fifteen minutes? WHAT WCW SHOULD HAVE DONE: First off, they should have chopped something like 5 minutes off the match time in order to get around Bagwell's and Luger's stamina issues. Another improvement would have been made if they had let Bagwell cheat for himself, instead of having three guys comes out to lend a hand. It would help him get over, instead of just making him nWo flunky number 3. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mattdotcom Report post Posted September 29, 2002 I, for one, loved that gag and hated that PPV. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
