The Time Cube, it's insane-a-riffic brutha!

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

 

"Tis Time to kill any educator who does not teach Cubicism above cubelessness. To save humanity from extinction, like prior civilizations perished, youth must redirect self teachers, or destroy them. Stupid Educators know of the Truth I speak and know that it will indict them as the most evil bastards on the Earth. Dumb ass educators fear Gene Ray and his Time Cube Creation - and they run from any mention of Time Cube Debate. Only a dumb student can be educated - as in brainwashed and indoctrinated. Time Cube debate denial is educator evil. It is not immoral for students to kill all educators who ignore Nature's Harmonic Time Cube or suppress free speech rights to debate Time Cube Creation Principle. Ignorance of Time Cube is Greatest Evil."

 

"St. Petersburg Times is Evil for refusing to inform public about the recent discovery of Nature's 4-Day Time Cube - greatest scientific discovery of humanity… proving Time Cube obscurantism as equal to Forbidden Knowledge, or to a criminal brainwashing of children by the educators.

 

Demand the Times 893-8111 to print Nature's Time Cube."

 

Gene Ray is the Wisest Human to ever live on the Earth, and is also the world's first and only true Cubic entity.

 

 

----

 

ya know, this guy is nuts.

[Guest J*ingus]

Wow, #134 on the list of People I'd Like To Shoot In The Head Repeatedly.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

You should take the Time Cube Personality test

 

http://www.cubarian.com/next/test.html

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

But... WHAT IS IT ABOUT????

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Okay, I just tried taking that test, and it's very fucked up. I couldn't even answer any of the questions with their choices.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

My results..

 

YOU ARE STUPID AND EVIL!

 

Evil EDUCATORS have taught you to WORD-MURDER your children!

 

Give up your CANNIBALISM and kick the

evil 1/4 SANTA-GOD out,

 

You are Slave to all media.

 

YOU DO NOT EXIST, for you are never more than a 1/4 or 1 of 4-different lives during life metamorphosis.

 

YOU Live Under A Curse. Where did your mind go

 

You educated STUPID bastard are unworthy of Earth.

 

You are STUPID student

without Cubic life wisdom,

and yellow belly coward.

 

YOU are the lowest form.

YOU can't procreate alone.

YOU destroyed the village.

YOU destroyed the family.

YOU destroyed childhood.

YOU destroyed naturalism.

YOU don't know the Truth.

YOU pitiful mindless fool,

YOU are educated stupid.

YOU worship cubeless word.

YOU are your own poison.

YOU create your own hell. YOU must seek Time Cube

 

NOW

 

how interesting..

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Okay, I'm a pretty open-minded person, but how in the wide world of fuck did this guy get any followers? Did he offer free beer and hookers?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

the answer choices are so slanted its insane, its set to fail

 

weird

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

The questions on that damn test are all one sided. You'd have to be the most depressed person ever to even answer half the questions.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

You know, if you could disprove the timecube, the dude will give you $10,000.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

How do you even prove it?

 

WHAT THE HELL IS THE TIMECUBE???

[Guest Marshall]

Do those around you talk about you behind your back...

Frequently  

Occasionally  

Constantly  

Sometimes  

 

 

How can you answer that? Its a flawed question.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

My Cube test results:

 

YOU ARE STUPID AND EVIL!

 

Evil EDUCATORS have taught you to WORD-MURDER your children!

 

Give up your CANNIBALISM and kick the

evil 1/4 SANTA-GOD out,

 

You are Slave to all media.

 

YOU DO NOT EXIST, for you are never more than a 1/4 or 1 of 4-different lives during life metamorphosis.

 

YOU Live Under A Curse. Where did your mind go

 

You educated STUPID bastard are unworthy of Earth.

 

You are STUPID student

without Cubic life wisdom,

and yellow belly coward.

 

YOU are the lowest form.

YOU can't procreate alone.

YOU destroyed the village.

YOU destroyed the family.

YOU destroyed childhood.

YOU destroyed naturalism.

YOU don't know the Truth.

YOU pitiful mindless fool,

YOU are educated stupid.

YOU worship cubeless word.

YOU are your own poison.

YOU create your own hell. YOU must seek Time Cube

 

NOW

 

Those answers though, contain such bad choices, like this question

 

20. How often do you feel inadequate compared to most of the people around you?

Frequently

Occasionally

Constantly

Often

 

Wheres the option of "never"? Often, Constantly and Frequently are pretty much the same things.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

http://www.cubarian.com/next/tract.html

 

The funniest thing I've seen in a while..sort of..

[Guest Marshall]

I also got

 

YOU ARE STUPID AND EVIL!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I've got it!!!

 

WORDS ARE EVIL!!!

 

Damn, how could I have missed it that whole time? It's a SILENT CULT~!

 

I'd never make it.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

Evil Talking Dog rules!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

You're right, he does. I want that in my mailbox every month.

 

CALL THE MAJOR COMIC COMPANIES AND DEMAND EVIL TALKING DOG!!

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

 

For some reason, I find this funny..I dunno why...

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

The first panel is what I think you're referring to, and you're right, it is hilarious. I think it's funny only because it's a freaking dog saying "Excellent" about a kid getting touched by a teacher with tears in his eyes. So cruel it's hilarious.

 

If teachers are evil, aren't they evil for trying to teach us the ways of the cube?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

yeah, the first panel is funny. All I can think of is Mr. Burns saying that, so I hear his voice when I read it..too funny..

 

9. Is this all a big joke?

Sometimes it can seem that way.  Cubarians by their very nature are noted worldwide for their critical intelligence and humor.  Nevertheless, we are extremely serious in our devotion to the underlying principles behind the Time Cube phenomenon, as well as what it says about the human condition in general.

 

However, it is important to take note of the fact that all contents of this website and any related materials claim parody protection under the U.S. Supreme Court rulings of The Estate of Roy Orbison v. 2Live Crew, and Falwell v. Flynt.  Every page on this site is clearly labeled as "parody" and is to be considered as nothing else, as far as any legal considerations are concerned.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Well, I'm certainly glad it's fake. I was really getting worried there.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest J*ingus]

Anyone up for a good night of site hacking and mail bombing?

[Guest treble charged]

How can we hack the site? I mean, we already destroyed naturalism, and we don't even exist. It wouldn't even be possible.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Um, hello? It's fake. Parody. Says so in the quote Marvin put up.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest RevEvil]

The comic is a parody of Jack Chick's religious tracts.