OAOMEF Breakout! 9/26/02

[Guest The Superstar]

OAOMEF Breakout! September 26, 2002

 

::Fozzy’s “The Mob Rules” plays as pyro EXPLODES in the Pengrowth Saddledome, as we’re coming to you live from the Great White North of Calgary………Alberta, CANADA! They’re hanging from the rafters tonight, as over 20,000 rabid OAOMEF fans go wild as we head to the ring for our first match!::

 

J.T. Wheeler: Hello everyone, and welcome to another edition of the One and Only Mystery Eskimo Federation’s flagship show, Breakout! I’m your host, JT Wheeler, and what an action packed show we have lined up for you tonight, including all 3 titles being defended, as well as the first ever OAOMEF BATTLE ROYAL! Commissioner The Superstar has promised 4 well known OAOAST Mega-stars will participate in the battle royal. Will Superstar stick to his word? Let’s head to the ring for some tag team action!

 

One Fall, 15 minute time limit

Booker T & Goldust vs. Rosey & Jamal, the Island Boys

 

“Three Minutes” theme hits as the nearly-400 pound Samoans, Rosey and Jamal, come out to a mixed reaction. They’re set to make their in-ring debut after SQUASHING Test and Edge last week.

 

“CAN YOU DIG IT…SUCKA?!” plays and the crowd goes APESHIT~! As Booker T and Goldust enter the OAOMEF arena. They rush to the ring and this match is on!

 

Goldust and Jamal start, as Goldust hits the BUTT-BUTT, however it doesn’t take Jamal down. He attempts another but Jamal catches him with a vicious clothesline. Jamal gives Goldust a big bodyslam and tags in Rosey, who takes Goldust down again with clubbing blows to the back. However, Goldust reverses an Irish whip, and gets a stinger splash, which causes Rosey to do a Flair flop out of the corner.

 

JT: Goldust trying to get an advantage in the early stages of this match!

 

Rosey reverses a Goldust Irish whip and hits a shoulder block, but he misses a legdrop. This allows Goldust to make a tag to Booker T as the crowd goes crazy!

 

JT: The 5-Time WCW Champion just got tagged in! Business is about to pick up!

 

Booker hits some punches, kicks, and chops on Rosey, before trying a vertical suplex. Rosey reverses it, but hangs Booker out to dry on the top rope. Tag to Jamal. He pounds on Booker in the corner, but a blind charge misses and Booker gets that sunset-flip rollup thing. Cover gets two. Booker meets Jamal with more chops, followed by a neckbreaker. Another cover gets two. Jamal takes over with an eye gouge, and hits a BIG belly-to-belly suplex on Booker. Cover: 1…2…NO! Jamal Irish whips Booker, and gets a spinebuster for another two count. Jamal gets a standing powerslam, and drags Booker over to the corner.

 

JT: It looks like Jamal is going to attempt that huge BANZAI DROP!

 

Jamal gets onto the second rope, but Booker recovers and climbs up with him…belly-to-back SUPERPLEX! Jamal takes an Irish whip…and Booker T BACK BODY DROPS JAMAL!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! Booker T just back-body-dropped a 400-POUND MAN!

 

Booker tags in Goldust to a big pop, as Jamal tags in Rosey. Goldust comes off fast and furious with punches, and takes Rosey down with a clothesline. However, Jamal comes from behind him with a clubbing blow to the back, sending Goldust down. Rosey hits a STANDING SPLASH for the 1…2…BOOKER T broke up the count! Goldust tries to make a comeback, but Rosey knocks him down again and locks in a rear chinlock.

 

JT: MAH GAWD! Will Goldust be able to escape this hold?

 

With the crowd’s support, Goldust eventually makes it back to his feet, but as he attempts a Curtain Call on Rosey, Jamal attacks him again! This brings Booker into the ring, as all four men are brawling!

 

JT: IT’S BONZO GONZO! But wait…who’s coming in through the crowd?

 

Two masked wrestlers wearing all black have just entered the ring, and start brawling with Booker T and Goldust! The ref calls for the bell, but The Superstar has just come out with a microphone!

 

SS: Whoa…whoa…whoa. Referee, this match IS NOT over. In fact, let’s allow these two masked superstars to join in the festivities. As of right now, this is a Three-Way Dance, for THESE! ::Superstar pulls out the SHINY NEW OAOMEF TAG TEAM TITLES~!:: So let’s get it on!

 

As the bell rings, one of the masked superstars has a chair, and immediately starts battering the Island Boys with it! After both men have taken about 5 chairshots, they collapse on the outside of the ring, leaving just these two teams! As the other superstar (‘2’) battles with Goldust, 1 lays out Booker T with a chairshot to the back, and a Van-Daminator! Goldust whips ‘2’ into the ropes, awaiting a powerslam, but 1 gives him a low-blow, which allows 2 to set Goldust up…THUNDERBOLT DDT~! Cover: 1…2…3!!! The masked men grab their tag team titles and unmask themselves…it’s Reject and Thunderkid!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! THESE TWO ROOKIES HAVE JUST ENTERED THE OAOMEF AND HAVE WON THE TAG TEAM TITLES!

 

Result: Reject & Thunderkid in 9:49 via a Thunderbolt DDT on Goldust.

 

Thunderkid grabs a mic:

 

TK: "So everyone is probably wondering, 'Why, Thunderkid? Why did you walk out on the OAOAST?' Well, I'll tell you why. Because for almost two months now, I've gotten nothing but disrespect from the so-called "main eventers" in the OAOAST. The only people who ever had any respect for me were my partner, Reject, and Alf, who saw enough in me to let me into the DA.

 

Sandman tried to hold me down from day fuckin' one. When I came in with my barbwire sledge, he tried to keep me from using it. He got mad at me for using his razor wire, and I didn't even know it was his. I've tried to break away from him ever since we started...and then, that power-hungry, selfish, piece of shit Big Poppa Popick, tries to book me and Reject as his lackeys? Fuck that!

 

This is why we came here to the OAOMEF. The people here can relate to us, because they've had the same shit happen to them. Our attack on Sandman...it was a SHOOT. You see, BPP has been jealous of my talent since the first time we met, and he wanted me and Reject as Sandie's lackeys, so he could distance me as far away from him as possible. Because, a few more matches with me...and it would expose him as not being the Main Event caliber wrestler that he perceives himself to be.

 

I didn't want to do what I had to do to Alf on Monday, but that was business. He knew this was happening, and he said that we were our own men, and whatever we did...he respected. Something no one else did for me in the OAOAST. But here in the OAOMEF, people will learn to respect all of us so-called "jobbers", because we are going to take over the wrestling world...and after tonight...

 

*holds up his OAOMEF tag team belt*

 

We're on a pretty damn good pace to doing just that."

 

 

JT: MAH GAWD! These two rookies…have ARRIVED!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

When we come back, Edge is in the ring, sitting down on a chair!

 

Edge: Listen up. Last week, I was having the best match of my career against Test. As I hit that last spear, I knew the match would’ve been over. Instead, the commissioner let two 400-pound Samoans crush me. Well you know what? I’m already sick of it. I’m going to have to say something I might regret…

 

SUPERSTAR IS A DORK~!

 

You see, I’m not moving from this ring until I get some respect, or until someone physically moves me!

 

“Smack my Bitch Up” hits as the USTV Champion, Angle-plex, enters the ring! He grabs a microphone.

 

AP: Listen, Edge. I’ve always hated you and your spears, your one-sided feuds, and your lame mic skills. So how about I kick your ass right here, right now?!

 

Edge: Ok Plex…but how about you put your USTV Title on the line?

 

AP: Well, I already have a match tonight-

 

Edge: DORK!!! DORK!! DORK! Do all you people know that Angle-plex used to wet the bed?!

 

AP: Edge, shut the fuck up! You’re going to get your USTV Title shot…RIGHT NOW!

 

One fall, 15 minute time limit

OAOMEF USTV Championship

Angle-plex © vs. Edge

 

Edge jumps out of the chair and immediately charges for a spear, but AP counters with the aWo DDT, the universal counter for the spear that was once used on Treble Cleft! Edge goes down, as Angle-plex moves in for the kill. ANKLE LOCK! Edge can’t take the pressure, so he taps out!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! It’s a new record for the fastest OAOMEF match in history!

 

Result: Angle-plex in 0:20 via the Ankle Lock

 

Mystery Eskimo and Derek are backstage. Eskimo is stretching out in preparation for his OAOMEF title match against an unknown opponent later tonight.

 

Derek: Hey, Mystery, now that you have your own federation, can I have a match?

 

Eskimo: Well-

 

Derek: Ah, c'mon, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

 

Eskimo: I was about to say, I have the perfect opponent for you, right here, tonight!

 

Derek: Is it Courtney Cox again?

 

Eskimo: No. This is a PROPER MATCH!

 

Derek: Really?

 

Eskimo: Well, no. You're a fish.

 

Derek: True. So, who's my opponent?

 

Eskimo: Well, you like a drink, right Derek?

 

Derek: Do I like a drink?! Does the OAOAST murder small children?!

 

Eskimo: Your opponent tonight, IN THIS...err...THAT VERY RING OVER THERE will be none other than Scott Hall!

 

Derek: Who?

 

Eskimo: Y'know...Razor Ramon.

 

Derek: Oh, him. Does he like to drink then?

 

Eskimo: Yeah, I heard he does. So the match will be a 6 PACK OF BEER ON A POLE HARDCORE MATCH~! The winner will be the first to retrieve the beer and drink all 6 cans.

 

Derek: Only 6?

 

Eskimo: You can have some more if you win.

 

:: Eskimo hands Derek a contract ::

 

Derek: Great!

 

:: Derek signs ::

 

Derek: Oh, and what if I lose?

 

Eskimo: You have to give up drinking.

 

Derek: You son of a bitch.

 

JT: MAH GAWD! What a match that’ll be! And folks…it’s comin’ up next!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

15 Minute Time Limit

6 PACK OF BEER ON A POLE HARDCORE MATCH

Scott Hall vs. Derek the Fish

 

In the ring is a large pole, with, yes, a 6 pack of beer hanging from the top. Scott Hall strolls out to the ring to a round of boos. Hall gets in the ring and on the mic.

 

Hall: I'm sober, dammit! I won't take part in such a degrading and offensive angle! I'm...I'm...

 

Hall catches sight of the beer

 

Hall: Mmmmm....beeeeeeeer

 

'Take me to the river' blasts out as a huge gold pyro erupts for the entrance of Derek The Fish! The crowd goes wild! Derek comes to the ring on the shoulders of Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson, the Derekettes! Derek jumps into the ring and starts jumping around, throwing punches and waving to the crowd! Hall leans in the corner, a look of disgust on his face. The bell rings and Hall strolls over, picks up Derek and hurls him into the crowd. Hall sneers at the crowd before grabbing down the beer and guzzling them.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

JT: MAH GAWD! It’s another NEW RECORD for the fastest OAOMEF match in history!

 

Winner: Scott Hall in 0:08 via retrieving and drinking the 6-Pack

 

JT: As a result of this match, Derek the Fish is now legally bound to give up alcohol! Tune in next week to see how he copes with this HEINOUS~! Development! But coming up next…it’s going to be The Superstar and Chris Benoit for the OAOMEF X TITLE!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

One fall, 15 Minute Time Limit

OAOMEF X CHAMPIONSHIP

The Superstar © vs. Chris Benoit

 

“Whatever” hits as Chris Benoit enters the arena to a surprising pop. He coolly enters the ring and awaits his opponent.

 

“Just Got Wicked” hits and the arena fills with boos as the OAOMEF X Champion and Commissioner, The Superstar, enters with the usual snarl on his face. He enters the ring and the two have a staredown before the bell rings.

 

Superstar starts talking trash to Benoit, who responds with a STIFF right hand! Superstar hardly skips a beat and fires right back with a STIFF left hand! The two continue to stiff the shit out of each other with punches, until Superstar collapses to the mat, his nose and jaw crushed, with blood seeping out of his nose!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! Fuck Brock vs. Taker, *THIS* is a SLOBBERKNOCKER!

 

Superstar recovers and winds up for another shot, but kicks Benoit in the midsection and brings him to the corner, where he gives Benoit some chops. Benoit reverses and fires right back with chops, before hitting a snap suplex on Superstar for a two count. Superstar reverses a whip but telegraphs a backdrop, which allows Benoit to club Superstar on the back before hitting ANOTHER snap suplex! He picks Superstar up and whips him into the ropes before delivering a stiff shoulder block!

 

JT: Benoit is dominating the X Champion!

 

Superstar comes back with a rake of the eyes, and hits his own vertical suplex on Benoit for a 1 count. SS cross corner whips Benoit, and hits a big corner avalanche, before taking Benoit down with a wicked chop. Benoit rolls out of the ring to recover, and Superstar tries a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! However, Benoit moves at the last second and Superstar lands spine-first on the concrete!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! Superstar’s back may be broken!

 

Benoit hits some chops on the bloody Superstar and gives him a couple shoulder blocks into the guardrail. He drops Superstar sternum-first onto the guardrail before rolling him back into the ring. He attempts a German Suplex, but Superstar reverses and gets one of his own! Cover: 1…2…NO! Benoit kicked out. Superstar tries another, but Benoit reverses and gets a German Suplex of his own! Cover: 1…2…NO! Benoit tries another but Superstar reverses into a belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Cover:1…2…NO!

 

JT: This is turning into a wrestling clinic!

 

As both men come to their feet, the crowd greets them with applause. However, they immediately start slugging it out again, and as Benoit misses a clothesline, Superstar rolls him up for a quick 1…2…NO! Superstar tries a clothesline of his own…but Benoit brings the arm right down into the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE~! Superstar is fighting it…and finally makes it to the ropes after a minute. As Benoit is arguing with the ref, Superstar attacks him from behind and attempts a Star Power…which Benoit reverses and attempts a shoulderbreaker…which Superstar reverses into the Star Power! Cover: 1…2…NO!!!

 

JT: I CAN’T BELIEVE BENOIT KICKED OUT!

 

Superstar is pissed, but he signals for the Star Power II! He hooks the leg but suddenly…from backstage…on crutches…

 

JT: KEVIN NASH HAS ARRIVED AT THE OAOMEF ARENA!!!!!!!

 

The crowd pops big and Nash’s ego grows by approximately 43.38% as he stumbles on his crutches towards the ring. Superstar lets go of Benoit and wonders just WHAT THE FUCK is going on! Nash, in an act of courage, slides into the ring carefully, and stands up using the crutches. He shoves the ref down, and stares down Superstar. Suddenly, Benoit comes back from behind, DRAGON SUPLEX~! He holds on…ANOTHER ONE! He goes for a third…and Nash is about to take a swing with his crutch, but Superstar ducks…NASH NAILS BENOIT~! Benoit crumples to the mat, as Superstar smirks at Nash and groggily climbs to the top rope…SUPERSPLASH~! The ref is up and the cover: 1…2…3!!!!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! SUPERSTAR RETAINS WITH AN UNLIKELY ASSIST!

 

Winner: The Superstar in 12:02 via the SuperSplash.

 

The Superstar grabs his X Title belt and stares a hole in Nash…until the smile and start laughing! Superstar extends his hand…and Nash accepts it! They raise their arms up, as Nash DROPS THE CRUTCHES AND JACKKNIFE POWERBOMBS CHRIS BENOIT! Superstar grabs a mic:

 

SS: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m surprised you didn’t see it all along. You see, Nash and I have formed a NEW ALLIANCE, and the rest of the OAOMEF better watch their FUCKIN’ backs! You know what Nash? As a showing of my gratitude, you get to fight Angle-plex tonight for the OAOMEF USTV Title! As a matter of fact…that match will be NEXT!

 

JT: BAH GAWD!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

One fall, 15 minute time limit

OAOMEF USTV Championship

Angle-plex © vs. Kevin Nash

 

Kevin Nash is still in the ring after helping Superstar retain the X Title before the break. Superstar has retreated backstage to remain an impartial commissioner.

 

“Smack my Bitch Up” hits and the crowd goes WILD for Angle-plex! He struts out for his second USTV Title defense of the evening. He is truly an IRONMAN~!

 

The bell rings and the two circle each other, before locking up. Nash easily shoves AP down and laughs. AP runs for Nash’s ankle, but he grabs AP right into a sidewalk slam! Cover only gets one. Nash hits a cross corner whip, but Plex moves out of the way of a blind charge, and takes Nash down with a clothesline.

 

JT: Back and forth action here! Nash is usually blown up by now!

 

AP locks on the Ankle Lock to a big pop, but Nash quickly gets the ropes. AP continues to stomp and pound on Nash, until Nash no-sells and hits the BIG BOOT! Nash whips AP into the ropes and hits a standing spinebuster! Cover: 1…2…NO! Angle-plex escapes. Nash, his moveset nearly exhausted, tries to get a chinlock, but AP reverses and hits an ANGLE SLAM! He immediately locks on the Ankle Lock and Nash struggles…but TAPS OUT!

 

JT: THIS IS OVER! ANGLE-PLEX RETAINS!

 

Winner: Angle-plex in 4:52 via the Ankle Lock

 

We head backstage where JINGUS is WALKING! Suddenly, Syxx-Pac comes from behind and attacks him with a steel chair, but JINGUS no sells! He turns around and calmly CLAWSLAMS~! Syxx-Pac into a nearby wall, followed up by an Angle-Award winning DEVILBOMB through a concessions table, and coolly walks away.

 

JT: BAH GAWD! JINGUS just made Syxx-Pac his bitch! Up next, Mystery Eskimo defends his OAOMEF World Title!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

One fall, 20 Minute Time Limit

OAOMEF World Heavyweight Championship

Masked Mystery Eskimo vs.???

 

"Ice Ice Baby" plays and Eskimo sled to the ring thru his silver pyro to a mixed reaction. Eskimo jumps into the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, holding up the big gold OAOMEF belt to a pop.

 

*BONG* DEAD MAN WALKIN’!

 

The crowd erupts...in boos and showers of trash as The Undertaker rides to the ring on his bike. Eskimo looks shocked that somehow Taker has weaseled his way into the OAOMEF but quickly gets ready for the match. Taker runs into the ring and nails Eskimo with a forearm shot. Eskimo crashes to the mat. Taker grins and stomps away on the MME, but Eskimo wriggles out and rolls to his feet. MME shakes his head and rushes at Taker. The two men exchange punches with Eskimo gaining the upper hand! Taker is rocked back into the corner. Eskimo chops at Taker but he NOSELLS.

 

JT: DAMN HIM!

 

Eskimo rakes the eyes of Taker for another no sell. Eskimo drags UT down into the FROSTBITE FACELOCK~! Taker lies on the floor, making some noises, which could possibly indicate pain, before calmly getting up and moving to the ropes.

 

JT: HE AIN’T NUTTIN’ BUT A BASTARD!

 

The crowd BOOS Taker! Taker looks shocked and as Eskimo nails him with a headbutt, decides to NOSELL some more. Eskimo, frustrated, grabs Taker and breaks his nose with a forearm shot.

 

Eskimo: THAT'S how to bleed, pussy!

 

JT: FUCK YES! GET ‘EM ESKIMO!

 

Eskimo grabs Taker and puts him on the top rope. Eskimo goes up too and hits Taker with...a TOMBSTONE OFF THE TOP~! Eskimo covers...1...2...3!

 

JT: DAMN RIGHT! FUCK YOU TAKER!

 

Winner: Mystery Eskimo in 6:12 via a top rope Tombstone Piledriver.

 

JT: Folks, comin’ up next is the VERY FIRST EVER OAOMEF Battle Royal! 20 Men will fight it out for pride. Two will start off, with a new person entering the ring at 90-second intervals. We can tell you the following 15 participants…we know that there will ALSO be 4 OAOAST Megastars, and a mystery participant yet to be determined. Here is the list:

 

Mystery Eskimo

Chris Jericho

Angle-Plex

JINGUS

The Superstar

Reject

Thunderkid

Kurt Angle

Chris Benoit

Kevin Nash

Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin

Michael Cole

Hulk Hogan

Booker T

 

As for myself, I’ll let you enjoy the battle royal without my commentary, what we call the “Sounds of the Ring.” Stick around, because the battle royal…is NEXT~!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

OAOMEF BATTLE ROYAL

 

“Just Got Wicked” hits and we have our #1 participant, and OAOMEF Commissioner, The Superstar! He angrily struts to the ring, obviously upset at drawing #1.

 

“Theme From Wolfpac” hits and #2 is Superstar’s new ally, Kevin Nash!

 

Nash enter the ring and the bell sounds, the battle royal is underway! Superstar grabs a mic:

 

SS: Hey Nash, since we’re buddies and all, how about we just hang out and wait until #3 comes out, so we can kick his ass?

 

Nash nods and the shake hands, before relaxing on the turnbuckles. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” hits and the crowd goes crazy for…a midget CobainWasMurdered, complete with OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship!

 

CWM runs to the ring, and starts talking trash to Nash and Superstar, who are laughing their heads off! Nash quickly hits a Jackknife on CWM, and Superstar gives him the Star Power II before tossing him out to a big pop. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

The immortal riff of “Voodoo Chili” hits and the crowd goes nuts for Hulk Hogan! He tears off his shirt and ‘runs’ to the ring.

 

Hogan batters both Superstar and Nash with his hard-hitting punches, before bodyslamming Nash and whipping Superstar into the ropes, right into a big boot! He signals for the Legdrop, but Nash cuts him off with a clothesline. He gives Hogan a sidewalk slam. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Five Minutes Alone” by Pantera hits and the crowd pops for…midget Sandman9000! He runs to the ring with his trusty mop as the 3 men in the ring start laughing again.

 

Nash hits another Jackknife on the little hardcore wrestler, as Superstar goes up top and hits a SUPERSPLASH~! Hogan asks for the honors, however, so he LEGDROPS Sandman before eliminating him! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Theme from Brock Lesnar” hits as the Next Big Thing sprints into the ring!

 

Hogan is still celebrating from eliminating Sandman, so Brock immediately clotheslines Hogan out of the ring! Nash charges to hit the former WWE Champion with a big boot, but Lesnar ducks and gives Nash the F5! Superstar begs off, but Lesnar takes his head off with a LARIAT! Brock Lesnar POWERBOMBS Superstar to the mat. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Whatever” hits as Chris Benoit runs into the ring!

 

Benoit immediately goes after the fallen Superstar and Kevin Nash, who cost him the X Championship earlier in the evening! He gives both men wicked German Suplexes before starting to brawl with Lesnar! Lesnar avoids a German Suplex and tosses Benoit with a belly-to-belly overhead suplex. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“God of Thunder” hits and one half of the OAOMEF Tag Team Champions, Thunderkid, enters the ring!

 

He gives some punches to Lesnar before giving Chris Benoit an ORANGE CRUSH~! He adds some stomps on Nash for good measure, before brawling once again with Brock. Brock telegraphs a backdrop, so Thunderkid attempts the THUNDERBOLT DDT, but Brock was only playing possum, and lifts TK up for the F5! However, Superstar low blows Lesnar, which brings both men down. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

The Y2J Countdown hits zero and “Break the Walls Down!” blares through the arena as Chris Jericho makes his triumphant entrance!

 

Jericho targets Nash, giving him chops and kicks as the crowd works a “Y2J” chant. Superstar attacks him from behind with a forearm to the back, but Benoit comes from behind HIM with a Dragon Suplex~! Benoit and Brock immediately start brawling again, and Brock attempts an overhead belly-to-belly suplex too close to the ropes, and both men end up tumbling to the outside, eliminated! Nash gives Jericho a sidewalk slam, but as he gets up TK meets him with a dropkick. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Smack my Bitch Up” hits and the crowd goes nuts for the USTV Champion Angle-plex, making his THIRD appearance tonight. He truly is an IRONMAN!

 

AP immediately attacks Kevin Nash, with a chop block and a clothesline. Nash no-sells and hits a forearm to AP’s face, and attempts the Jackknife Powerbomb. AP hits a low blow, however, and grabs his USTV Title and BELTSHOTS~! Nash all the way out of the ring! Before AP has time to celebrate, Jericho comes up with his face crusher, but as he attempts a Lionsault, TK catches him on the ropes and gives him a belly-to-back suplex. Superstar attacks HIM with an EXPLODER suplex. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Sweetness” hits and the crowd goes crazy for…”Small” Poppa Popick! He rushes to the ring as the men inside the ring have a good laugh.

 

Thunderkid doesn’t even hesitate in tossing Popick out of the ring. However, “Sweetness” hits again, and out from the crowd…it’s the REAL BIG POPPA POPICK! He slides into the ring with a steel chair. CHAIRSHOT FOR SUPERSTAR! CHAIRSHOT FOR ANGLE-PLEX! CHAIRSHOT FOR THUNDERKID! CHAIRSHOT FOR JERICHO! Popick has just laid out everyone in the ring! He grabs Superstar and throws him through the middle rope and heads to the announce table…FALLEN ANGEL ON SUPERSTAR THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Popick milks up the reaction before being dragged off by security! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“The Beautiful People” hits and out comes Smackdown! Announcer Michael Cole!

 

Cole notices everyone down in the ring, so begins to dance! Angle-plex starts to stir, so Cole gives him a STONE COLE STUNNER! He attempts to toss him out of the ring, but AP tenaciously hangs on. Superstar is refusing medical attention outside the ring. TK sneaks up behind Michael Cole…THUNDERBOLT DDT! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“CAN YOU DIG IT…SUCKA?!” hits and the crowd goes crazy as Booker T makes his way to the ring.

 

Jericho gives Cole the face crusher and Lionsault, and Booker T immediately gives Jericho a Book End! Booker hits a Harlem Sidekick on Thunderkid and a superkick on Michael Cole, before giving the fans what they came to see. THE SPINAROONIE! As he finishes, Superstar finally reenters the ring and clotheslines Booker down. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Simply Ravishing” hits as the final OAOAST Megastar enters the arena…midget Tony “The Body”!

 

The ambitious midget attempts to hit the Out of Body Experience on Superstar, but can’t lift him up and Superstar laughs. Jericho takes the honors of tossing Tony out of the ring. All 5 men (Jericho, TK, Superstar, AP, Booker T) beat on Michael Cole before Angle-plex tosses him out as well. TK sets up Booker for a Death Valley Driver, but Jericho gives Kid a stiff forearm to the face, until Angle-plex comes from behind him with a waistlock takedown into an ANKLE LOCK! Superstar goes on the other side of Thunderkid and locks in the HAMMER CLUTCH! DOUBLE SUBMISSION! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Ice Ice Baby” hits and the crowd jumps to its feet for the OAOMEF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, Mystery Eskimo!

 

Jericho charges and meets Eskimo in the ring, as the two rekindle their brawl from last week. AP and Superstar finally let go of the Double Submission and attack Booker T. OMG HATE CRIME! They give him a double-team spike piledriver before both eliminate him. Eskimo grounds Jericho with a Penguin Kick. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“The Way I Am” hits as the other half of the OAOMEF Tag Team Champions, Reject, enters the ring!

 

Reject climbs to the top rope and immediately hits a top rope spinning heel kick on AP and Superstar! He rolls out of the ring to retrieve a chair, before sending it into Jericho’s face with the Total Rejection! Eskimo hits Reject from behind with a neckbreaker and tells him that Jericho is HIS. Thunderkid defends his partner with a clothesline on Eskimo, followed by a brainbuster. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Medal” hits and Kurt Angle charges to the ring to myriad “You Suck!” chants.

 

He rushes into the ring and immediately hits Superstar with the Angle Slam! He tries an Ankle Lock but Superstar uses his LEG STRENGTH~! To whip Angle into the ropes and tries a Tiger Driver, but Angle backdrops him ALL THE WAY over the top rope! Superstar has the record for longest time in the ring, at about 22 minutes! Reject charges at Jericho with a steel chair, but Jericho tosses him over the tope rope! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

“Requiem” hits and the monster JINGUS charges to the ring as the fans give him respectful applause after his comments last week.

 

He immediately clotheslines Jericho, AP, TK, and Angle down, before signaling for the DEVILBOMB on Angle-plex. However, Jericho, TK and Angle all begin to pound on Jingus, who no-sells (of course), until Eskimo tackles Jericho and continues to brawl with him again. Jingus finally goes down after a triple kick to the nuts by AP, Thunderkid and Angle. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

THE GLASS SHATTERS as Stone Cold Steve Austin charges to the ring!

 

He’s a house of fire, with rapid-fire punches on everyone, including a Lou Thesz Press on Angle-plex and mudhole stomps on Angle! Thunderkid charges at Austin, but gets a Stone Cold Stunner and is tossed over the top rope! Austin tries the Stunner on Angle, but he catches the leg and gets the Ankle Lock! However, Austin uses his leg strength to throw Angle all the way over the top rope with just his leg! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *BUZZ*

 

…

 

…

 

No one seems to be coming to the ring, so the final 5 remain fighting in the ring.

 

Austin attempts a Lou Thesz press on Jingus, who turns it into a Spinebuster! He picks Austin up and DEVILBOMBS~! Him all the way to the outside! We’re down to four, but what about the mysterious #20? Jericho hits a Breakdown AND Lionsault on Eskimo, as he and AP pound on Jingus and hit a DOUBLE NUT SHOT, before simultaneously eliminating Jingus!

 

Final Three: Chris Jericho, Angle-plex, and Mystery Eskimo

 

BUT WAIT!

“IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!” The crowd goes crazy as TRIPLE H RETURNS AFTER TEARING HIS QUAD! He was the mystery number 20!

 

Final Four: Triple H, Chris Jericho, Angle-plex, and Mystery Eskimo.

 

Jericho and MME square off AGAIN, including Eskimo retaliating with a Killer Whale Plex and Blizzard Bomb! They both continue to tease eliminations as Angle-plex squares off with Triple H. He tries an Angle-plex, but Triple H reverses into a KICK WHAM PEDIGREE! HHH brings AP over to the ropes and tries to eliminate him, but TEARS HIS QUAD in the process! Angle-plex easily tosses HHH out of the ring and we’re down to three. MME and Jericho get a double KO after a clothesline spot.

 

HHH, torn quad and all, returns to the ring WITH HIS SLEDGEHAMMER! He waits for AP to turn around and hits Angle-plex square in the head with it! Angle-plex is out cold! Now HHH lays on the stretcher as his “Beautiful Day” video plays, with “Triple H Returns: October 3!” at the end.

 

Jericho and MME are now up, and brawling again. Jericho tries the Flashback, but MME counters with a mule kick. MME teases a Killer Whale Plex, but it’s too close to the ropes, and as Jericho tries to toss MME over in front of him, both men tumble out, leaving the out-cold Angle-plex the WINNER OF THE BATTLE ROYAL!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! ANGLE-PLEX DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HE’S WON! That’s 3 wins in one night…three more than he EVER got in the OAOAST!

 

Winner: Angle-plex in 35:21.

 

Angle-plex finally recovers and begins to celebrate, as MME and Jericho brawl all the way to the back.

 

JT: Folks, what an AMAZING battle royal that was! Will Angle-plex be rewarded in any way? Plus, it’s Chris Jericho vs. Mystery Eskimo, no time limits for the OAOMEF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! ALL THIS AND MORE! TUNE IN NEXT WEEK! THANKS FOR WATCHING! BAH GAWD!

 

Executive Producers

The Superstar

Mystery Eskimo

Thunderkid

 

© 2002 OAOMEF Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved.