U.N. Upholds Ban on 'Dwarf Throwing'

[Guest MrRant]

U.N. Upholds Ban on 'Dwarf Throwing'

 

Well there goes one less fun thing to do in the world.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

C'mon, he's game and I'd throw him if he asked me to. I wonder if there's a double standard and it's perfectly alright to throw a "normally-sized" human being.

[Guest Some Guy]

In a statement Friday the U.N. Human Rights Committee said it was satisfied "the ban on dwarf-tossing was not abusive but necessary in order to protect public order, including considerations of human dignity." The committee also said the ban "did not amount to prohibited discrimination."

 

Public order? Yeah, if it's legalized again then every midget in France is going to be thrown around the streets of Paris. I wonder if they ban midget wresting in France or if teh UN thinks it should be, it's basically the same thing.

 

Human dignity? Coming from the French and UN?

If this little guy wants to be tossed, I say throw the mitherfucker and be done with it.

 

"did not amount to prohibited discrimination."

Yes it does, I don't see a law about not throwing fully grown men listed in there.

[Guest MrRant]

If a midget wants to be thrown around then why not let him? I know if I'm drunk and a dwarf let me throw him across the room I'd do it.

[Guest Mad Dog]

I thought the midgets actually made a decent buck off of that.

[Guest MrRant]

I guess they do. They are taking away a midgets living!

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Man, I bet I could LAUNCH one of them. Never tried it though. What's the proper form for chuckin' a midget?

[Guest MrRant]

Probably underhand. More lift that way.

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

Na. Do it like those olympic throwing contest, you know, the one with the big ball? Either that, or the Discus throw. Get the few extra feet by makin'em spin like a frizbee.

[Guest HecateRose]

"Do it like those olympic throwing contest, you know, the one with the big ball?"

 

Do you mean the shot-put? I think that would be a little to difficult, especially if it's in a crowded bar, to many people in the way. I'd have to vote either underhand or like a basketball three point shot, a nice high arch with some good distance

[Guest Mad Dog]

Maybe it's more like the javelin toss.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Javelins?

 

Next week, the UN will deliberate on a specific resolution addressing the problem of conehead dwarf-tossing.

 

Stay tuned.

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

As kkktookmybaby away said,

 

" I'm sure there can be other ways to propell a little guy from one end of the room to the other.

 

Dwarf sliding

 

Dwarf chucking..."

 

Etc.

 

I'd just like to say The Sliding Dwarf would make a great name for a bar. I could imagine the little sign outside the bar, just a bar with a little friend sliding down, arms flailing like somewhat stiff wet Spaghetti noodles....*sigh*.... that'd be nice....

[Guest CED Ordonez]

If you're gonna throw a midget, you've gotta use the GIANT SWING! The person being thrown is light enough so you should be able to get good distance with that much momentum behind it.

[Guest Olympic Slam]

It's all about Dwarf Curling! Better get in a few games before the U.N finds out......

[Guest MrRant]

Yes... we will kidnap some dwarfs... smuggle them to Canada and then we will hurl them down the ice while sweeping the ice infront of them its perfect.