If all the U.S. Presidents Wrestled

[Guest KANE]

Me and my friend brainstormed on this list:

 

1 George Washington-The Cherry Tree Chop, The Delaware

Crossing, The Death Valley Forge Driver, The Can't

Tell a Lie-nsault

 

2 John Adams-The Adams Smasher, The Adams-inal Stretch

 

3 Thomas Jefferson-The Monte-Chairto

 

4 James Madison-Greetings from Madison Avenue

 

5 James Monroe-The Monroe Doctrine

 

6 John Quincy Adams-The Adams Smasher(1825 version),

The John Q. Backbreaker

 

7 Andrew Jackson-The Jackson-Hammer, The Tennessee Jam

 

8 Martin Van Buren-The Van Burenator (Whatever. I'm M....V...B.)

 

9 William Henry Harrison-The Influenzuiguri, The

Tippecanrana

 

10 John Tyler-The Downward Tyler

 

11 James K. Polk-The Huge Polkslam, The Rear Naked

Polk, The Polk-a-Plex

 

12 Zachary Taylor-Taylor Made

 

13 Millard Fillmore-The Fill-GORE, The Millardium

Falcon Arrow, Total Fillimination

 

14 Franklin Pierce-The Piercer (The Stunner)

 

15 James "Bull" Buchanan-The Census Kick

 

16 Abraham Lincolm-The Four Score Frog Splash, The

Linc-Face, The Missing Linc, The Lincoln Logjam, The

Four Score and Seven Degree Splash

 

17 Andrew Johnson-The Impeacher

 

18 Ulysses S. Grant-Grant's Tombstone, The Rings of

Ulysses, The Appammatox-Plex

 

19 Rutherford B. Hayes-Purple Hayes

 

20 James A. Garfield-GORE-field

 

21 Chester A. "King" Arthur-The Crowning, The "Art" of

War

 

22 Grover Cleveland-The Cleveland Steamer, The

Cleveland Crab

 

23 Benjamin Harrison-All about the Benjamins

 

24 Grover Cleveland-The Burning Cuyahoga Hammer

 

25 William McKinley-The Mount McKinley Death Drop,

Space Mountain McKinley

 

26 Theodore "Speak Softly and Carry a Big Kendo Stick"

Roosevelt-The Teddy Bearhug, The San Juan Hill Spear,

The Bronco-Trustbuster, The Last Rough Ride

 

27 William Taft-The T-Bone Taft-Plex, The

Taft-mission, The Big Splash(because he's Taft!)

 

28 Woodrow Wilson-Murderers' 'Drow

 

29 Warren Harding-Hard Times

 

30 Calvin Coolidge-The Stone Cool Stunner, The

Coolidge Clutch, The Razor's Cool-idge

 

31 "Double H" (Herbert Hoover)-The Herbert-a-Breaker, The

Hoover-Damminator, The H-Bomb

 

32 FDR=The Polio Driver, Rolling Thunder, The Cripple

Crossface (I'm going to Hell)

 

33 Harry S. Truman-The Trumanator, Tru or False, Tru

Dat

 

32 Dwight D. Eisenhower-Dwight's Out, I of the

Hurricane, Sidekick George S. Patton with Patton

Pending ("It's me, it's me...it's D.D.E.")

 

33 JFK-The Chowdacanrana, The Boston Crab, The Cuban

Missile Dropkick, The Kennedy Compounder

 

34 Lyndon B. Johnson-The Lyndon-Sault, the

Katcha-hi-LBJ, The Baynes of Existence

 

35 Richard Nixon-The Clothesline From Yorbalinda,

Hell's Watergates

 

36 Gerald Ford-The Model T., The Ford Driver, The

Three-Point Stance (cause he was a football player), The Gerry Curl

 

37 Jimmy Carter-The Habitat For Inhumanity, The

Peach-Plex, The Cart-Wheelkick

 

38 "Hollywood" Ronald Reagan-The Reaganomics Crash,

The Senile Spiral, Bedtime for Bonzo (sleeper)

 

39 George Bush-The Saddaminator, Greetings From

Kennebunkport, the Lip-Reader, the 1,000 Points of

Light Stance

 

40 Bill Clinton-The Educator, The Arkansas Stampede,

The Whitewater Splash, the Alabama Slamma ("I did not have sexual relations with my opponent.")

 

41 George Walker Bush-The AmBush, The Walking

Powerbomb, The Torture Thrax (If he teamed with his father, they'd be the Bushwhackers)

[Guest Olympic Slam]

Funny stuff, here's a few more signature moves ........

 

Theodore Roosevelt - "Split the Vote" "Progressive Pop"

 

FDR - "FDArmbar" "Walls of Reform" "The Social Outcry"

 

Nixon - "Resigndien Bomb"

 

Reagan - "Cold War Clutch"

 

Gerorge W. Bush - "Electric Chair Drop"

[Guest RevEvil]

FDR - "FDArmbar" "Walls of Reform" "The Social Outcry" "Atomic Drop"

The Atomic drop should be a Truman finisher.

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

Where's the obvious Money Shot for Clinton?

[Guest CED Ordonez]

This should be in the General Wrestling folder, but...here's two more for the list

 

George Washington: The Single Dollar Dream

Dwight Eisenhower: The Ike Spike Piledriver

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Sure he didn't win, but Gore would be unstoppable w/ the hanging chad.

 

Also, FDR would best resemble Hogan. On top for so many years and not letting anyone else crack the glass ceiling...

[Guest Olympic Slam]

FDR - "FDArmbar"  "Walls of Reform" "The Social Outcry" "Atomic Drop"

The Atomic drop should be a Truman finisher.

Ah yes, can't believe I let that one slip.

[Guest El Hijo del Homsar]

A couple more for Polk:

 

The James K. Poke (thumb to the eye)

(Napoleon of the) Stump Puller

[Guest The Superstar]

16 Abraham Lincolm-The Four Score Frog Splash, The

Linc-Face, The Missing Linc, The Lincoln Logjam, The

Four Score and Seven Degree Splash

 

I love the Four Score Frog Splash

[Guest DerangedHermit]

Some more:

 

Lincoln: Emancipation Proclamation - some big powerbomb or something like it

Wilson: 14 Points - several eyerakes in a row

Hoover: Great Depression - double-powerbomb

Lyndon Johnson: Dog-Eared - pulls his opponents' ears

Nixon: The Break-In - basically Clothesline from Hell

Reagan: Trickle-Down - Boston Crab

Bush Sr.: Not Gah Do It - splash off the top of the arena

Clinton: Stained Dress - sledgehammer to either crotch, chest or head

Dubya: Misunderestimation - school-boy rollup

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Remember:

Polk-the other white president

 

Dubya would always win through "strategery"

[Guest razazteca]

I have seen Lincoln on TV Land, he won one fight with a wrist lock on some old western show and used the Ed the "Strangler" side sleeper head lock on another show.

[Guest godthedog]

this shit is hilarious.

 

you people have way too much free time on your hands.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

1 George Washington - Cherry Chopper

 

2 John Adams - Adam's Apple AxeBomber

 

3 Thomas Jefferson - Louisana Purchase

 

4 James Madison - Star Splangled Powerbomb

 

5 James Monroe - The Monroe Doctrine

 

6 John Quincy Adams - Adam's Apple 1K825

 

7 Andrew Jackson - Hickory Log

 

8 Martin Van Buren - Old Kinderhook Krusher

 

9 William Henry Harrison - Death in 30 Days

 

10 John Tyler - Tyler-Made Slam

 

11 James K. Polk - Total Polka

 

12 Zachary Taylor - Cholera Creamator

 

13 Millard Fillmore - Millardia

 

14 Franklin Pierce - Piercing

 

15 James Buchanan - The Bachelor Kick

 

16 Abraham Lincoln - THE RAIL SPLITTER! OOOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEEEAAAAHHH!

 

17 Andrew Johnson - Brandy-ca-rana

 

18 Ulysses S. Grant - US Slam, Greetings from Grant's Tomb

 

19 Rutherford B. Hayes - ZZ Top Rope Splash

 

20 James A. Garfield - The Guiteau Shot

 

21 Chester A. Arthur - The Mutton Chop Rope DDT (Just look at a picture of his!)

 

22 Grover Cleveland - Cleveland Clipper

 

23 Benjamin Harrison - Benjamin Brainbuster

 

24 Grover Cleveland - Term Number Two

 

25 William McKinley - The Handshake of Doom

 

26 Theodore "Speak Softly and Carry a Big Kendo Stick" Roosevelt - Getting shot and delivering a speech before being treated.

 

27 William Taft - The Tub Buster

 

28 Woodrow Wilson - Morning Woodrow

 

29 Warren G. Harding - Regulation, Tea Pot Dome Dropkick

 

30 Calvin Coolidge - Silent but Deadly

 

31 "Double H" (Herbert Hoover) - The Great Depression

 

32 FDR - Packing the Court

 

33 Harry S. Truman - The Sclamation Point

 

34 Dwight D. Eisenhower - Ikexecution

 

35 JFK - Marilyn Monroe Thruster, Profile in Kicking Your Ass

 

36 Lyndon B. Johnson - Begal Lifter

 

37 Richard Nixon - The Big Dick Driver

 

38 Gerald Ford - The Slip that don't Rip

 

39 Jimmy Carter - Malaise

 

40 "Hollywood" Ronald Reagan - The Memory Killer

 

41 George Bush - The Wimp Drop

 

42 Bill Clinton - The Sax Machine

 

43 George Walker Bush - Pre-Emptive Powerslam

[Guest TheArchiteck]

When I read the title, the first thing that came to mind was "Low Blow".

Take a guess for which president.