Commercial: Frost Brand Tacos

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

The camera fades up on a standard suburban kitchen. A distraught blonde woman in a housedress and apron paces back and forth while shaking her head. She crosses to her refrigerator and opens the door to look in. She shakes her head again and sighs.

 

She sings in a lonesome voice, “One pound of penguin meat sits in my ‘fridge”

 

The camera pans around to show her two young, adorable children (one boy, one girl) at the dining room table with knife and fork in hand.

 

“Mom, what’s for supper?” they moan.

 

“Is the question I hear from my kids.” She drones on in singsong.

 

Suddenly, her back door bursts open and four figures rush into her kitchen dressed in sparkling “Three Amigos” type suits with guitars in their hands. The camera cuts to sharp close-ups of the proud looking group in turn. Mercury! Annie Eclectric! Mak Francis! Taylor Nicholas Thompson! TNT steps in front of the other three and strums a chord on his guitar.

 

“Hey, stupid ho bitch, have you tried new Frost brand tacos? Just shut the fuck up and listen to this muchacho.” Thompson warbles.

 

The scene cuts to a close up of a delectable spread of vegetables and spices with meat frying in a pan and taco shells stacked nearby. A deep voice intones on voiceover.

 

“SWF Frost Brand Tacos is just the newest and tastiest way you can spice up your meals. Just cook up your favorite choice of penguin meat, whale blubber or walrus carcass and stir in Frost’s own special brand of herbs and spices. But don’t take my word for it, ask the SWF tag champ himself.”

 

The scene cuts to a blank red background with Frost stepping into frame. He is wearing his usual wrestling attire with a sombrero on his head and a bandolier across his chest filled with bullets. He points at the camera.

 

“If there’s one thing I know as a 300 pound hoss from Iceland, it’s how to make good tacos. My taco spices and seasonings are handcrafted and mixed just like the fine tobacco for my cigars. Hell, I think it might even be the same stuff. So, unless you want to ride the job train with your kids, fix them the meal that made me famous.” Frost finishes with a rare smile and point to himself.

 

The director can be heard off camera saying, “That’s infamous.”

 

The scene shifts back to the kitchen where the mother and children are enjoying their penguin meat tacos. TNT steps away from the group toward the camera and hits a chord on his guitar again.

 

“The meal is a hit. These tacos are the shit. So, buy some today without delay while I hit this and quit.”

 

TNT steps back and slaps the mother on the ass with a sly smile. She spins around with a shocked expression on her face and smacks him across the face. She then turns her eyes toward Annie with a seductive leer. She returns the glance and makes a kissie face. The young daughter looks at Mercury funny and he promptly powerbombs her through the kitchen counter. Mak shrugs his shoulders and obliterates his guitar over the boy’s head. Both children collapse in a heap crying while Annie and the mother start wildly making out.

 

The camera cuts to a blank, sky blue background with a spinning box of Frost Brand Tacos in the center of it.

 

“Yo, shit, see if I’m playing,” barks out the signature voice of the Hville Thugg and the scene fades to black.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

FUCK YEAH!

 

-Annie

[Guest Powerplay]

Frost: Evil Mastermind and Product Endorsement Genius.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

TNT sings a kickass jingle, Annie shows her taco eating love and Mak and Merc rightfully so no love for child actors. All that and Frost dressed as an Icelandic gringo! Another winning product from the Frost brand of damn good products. Buy stock in Frost's business NOW~!

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

Lesbian moms.

 

Child abuse...make that assault...

 

And Frost in a sombrero.

 

That rocked.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Aww. That made my lousy evening so much better. Woo!