The Crossface

[Guest TSMAdmin]

The Smart Mark columnists come out swinging. This week, the panel includes...

 

Brandon Truitt: The newest member of the Smart Marks who owns a shitload of shoot interviews.

Byron Vester: Catch Byron on Friday nights as he drops in with the news. When the wrestling world really pisses him off, he'll drop in with his Anger Management column.

Damian “The Dames” Gonzalez: Dames keeps busy with the NWA:TNA recaps, the weekend news and whatever else he feels like chipping in with.

Dr. Tom: Tom brings the content every week, providing the reader with his Smackdown recaps, The Mid-Week News and movie reviews!

Fake Razor: Razor has taken over the weekly Heat recaps and drops by every once in a while with The Last Word!

William Helmick: If you're interested in writing for the Smart Marks, drop William a line. For now, he'll be moderating the discussion.

 

William Helmick After a few weeks of solid TV, RAW seemed very lackluster. Let’s start off with your thoughts on tonight’s show.

Dr. Tom: I agree. Raw was certainly lackluster. I hate it when they toss the main event aside for a shitty talking segment, and tonight's talking segment certainly was shitty.

William: they could have made the same point in a 3-minute segment

The Dames: I hate to make this correlation.... but it lacked Bischoff compared to certain weeks.

Fake Razor Tonight's show was alright... still an improvement compared to a lot of the crap we've seen this year, but not as good last week’s programs. The last segment was predictable and boring.

Brandon:They could have scrapped about ten different segments tonight, eight of them involving HHH.

Dr. Tom: We could have had five more minutes of RVD-Jericho instead of Michaels and HHH blathering back and forth. "Hey, them thar computers can magnify it, hyuk, hyuk." Get off my TV!

Byron RAW was a complete train wreck. We didn't need HHH playing "Good Cop, Bad Cop" with everybody just for THAT conclusion to the miserable "Who hit Shawn?" angle.

Brandon: It's on par with the Higher Power angle.

Dames: SMELL THE PLOTHOLES!

Brandon: The problem is that WWE got nervous thinking HBK didn't want to get back in the ring so they cooked this up as a contingency plan.

Byron: Well, he's going to end up in the ring anyway, so they just fucked themselves up even more.

Brandon: With any luck, HBK will re-enter retirement after Summerslam and HHH will get dumped by Steph soon after.

Dr. Tom: But they're going to "fight" instead of wrestle. I understand Shawn can't bump anymore, but does he really think his odds are better in a "fight" against a musclebound steroid freak?

 

Fake Razor: Jericho vs. Van Dam was good, although Jericho LOST AGAIN. Man, it feels like Jericho will never EVER win… Again! Ever.

Byron: That's another thing that pisses me off! WHY is Jericho the doormat of RAW all of a sudden?

Brandon: because he spoke up at talent meetings perhaps?

Dames: Jericho jobs to Cena, leaves Smackdown. Jericho comes to RAW, jobs to RVD

Fake Razor: Ironically, RVD vs. Jericho would have curtain jerked about 2-3 months ago.

Dames: I just finished watching No Mercy 2001 when Jericho was, you know, over and RVD vs. Jericho would have been the main event of the Royal Rumble this year if HHH never returned.

 

 

Dr. Tom: Both Jericho and HBK should just dance around and wait for HHH to tear another quad.

Fake Razor: Speaking of tearing quads, I thought Victoria tore her quad.

Dames: Don't tell me you fell for that

Fake Razor: At first I thought she was faking it then they kept selling it, so I fell for it.

Dr. Tom: I figured the Victoria thing was a ruse once JR started acting concerned.

Brandon: It’s an insensitive and stupid thing for the writers to pull JUST after the Nash fiasco a month ago.

Dames: She did the EXACT same angle that Rob Conway did on Velocity a month ago…but no one watches that show. Spot for spot, it was the exact same angle!

Byron: I wasn't even paying attention until after they were walking her out of the ring and she blindsided Trish.

Brandon: I assume it's some Cornette booking that they lifted for ex-OVW talents.

Dames: Don't get me started on OVW!

 

William: Too bad, Dames! Speaking of developmental talents, the Fed recently released several developmental wrestlers, most noticably Ron Waterman and Mike Sanders, yet David Flair still has a contract. Do you see something wrong here?

Fake Razor: I just find it a little weird that they're cutting all this talent because they're low on cash... then Vince goes out and buys a $14 million condo AND a movie company! From what I hear about Waterman we aren't missing out on much.

Brandon: Waterman has a good look and supposedly was getting the crowd into his matches but he wasn't impressive in the matches I've seen. Then again, I watched matches from last year. Maybe he has improved.

Byron: Releasing Mike Sanders was stupid. They kept Bull FUCKING Buchanan, but not Sanders?

Brandon: It’s funny... they dump people with potential rather than leaden lumps with no value, like the Godfather.

Dr. Tom: I'd much rather watch Mike Sanders on Thursdays than have to suffer thru Mark Fucking Henry and goddamn Rikishi. One's fat and strong; the other's fat and never washes his ass. What great characters! I think it sucks on general principle that developmental talent got cut when there are pieces of shit like Godfather, Big Slow, Rikishi, Mark Henry, etc. on the regular roster earning A LOT more money.

Dames: Yet they feel compelled to pay Bossman triple what they paid Sanders?

Brandon: You have to remember…Bossman is well liked. They’re keeping him around until a road agent spot opens up. Faarooq as well.

Dames: Releasing Mike Sanders is the dumbest move WWE has made in a LONG time because Sanders is one guy who got over all by himself in WCW. He was seen on the same level as Flair in terms of mic work and received tons of heat. WWE needs someone like that especially since they’re in the "sports entertainment" business! Think about it.... WWE caters more to sports entertainers than wrestlers. Sanders was money in the bank for them and they let him go!!!

 

Byron: Also, Sanders is the kick in the arm that the cruiser division needs right now. Noble is fine as champ, but he's got the personality of a brick wall. Sanders could have been the Jericho type of heel for Rey to play off of.

Fake Razor: I agree, Byron. Even if he didn't wrestle, he'd be a great manager... or a commentator, something they really need

William: Now, was that because Sanders was so good or because the WCW product was so awful he was a sparkle in a pile of shit?

Dames: in my opinion, Sanders had the best mic work WCW had seen in a LONG time. Not everyone could verbally spar with Flair and not come out looking inferior

Byron: I think Sanders was that good! He pretty got over like Jericho did during the glory days of his initial heel turn.

Dames: He was awesome as a commissioner, as a stable leader, as the #1 heel of the cruiser division.... why get rid of a guy like that?

Dr. Tom: Because HHH would eventually feel threatened by him.

Dames: Jesus, Tom, he hadn't even walked in the front door yet!

Dr. Tom: How long has Cena been through the door?

Dames: Longer than Sanders....

Fake Razor: Don't try to understand WWE logic, Dames. You'll just end up with a big headache.

 

William: Speaking of WWE logic, Summerslam is a few weeks away and Brock Lesnar is in the main event. Will this guy ever get over?

Fake Razor: They need to make it a 3-way or something. Lesnar just isn't ready.

Byron: I don't think Brock will EVER get over, unfortunately. The WWE has sabotaged this monster heel push so bad that more than likely damaged his character forever.

Dr. Tom: He'll get over, but not by being shoved down the fans' throats like he has been. If they'd let him actually WRESTLE, instead of trying to make him into Generic 80’s Monster #5416411, he'd get over a lot quicker. They guy has tremendous upside.

Brandon: Brock MIGHT have gotten over if they'd let him destroy everyone from the start. Right now, they've crippled his career because either he'll blow his big shot or will bomb as champ. Sadly, it isn't even his fault

Dames: Ok, so what were they supposed to do? Give him the Goldberg push?

That was already backfiring.

Brandon: Well first of all, you don't put him in competitive situations with guys like RVD who can't lose.

Byron: Yeah Brandon, they seem to want to protect his opponents and him at the same time, but all it does is make him look even weaker.

Brandon: Yes. That's why we got the DQ at Vengeance that just made Brock look horrible going into Summerslam.

Dr. Tom: That DQ was easy to see coming. Neither one of them could lose. WWE booked themselves into a corner again.

Brandon: They should have given him the IC belt or, failing that, got him DQed for excessive brutality.

Byron: Paul Heyman interfering in all of his matches doesn't help the cause because he's the one who gets booed and Brock is left heatless again.

William:What would help his cause?

Byron: Give him the 92 Vader push and he might be able to get over.

Dames: Have Brock turn face and bust out an SSP and you'll see a popping crowd, my friend.

Dr. Tom: Book him against people who can lose to him, and let him show off his skills. He's not THAT big, so trying to make him Big John Studd II isn't going to work. Let him do the SSP, for chrissakes. If the fans cheer him, they fucking cheer him.

 

 

William:The other match announced for Summerslam is HBK vs. HHH. Popular opinion on the ‘Net feels these two are long past their respective primes and will deliver a big DUD. Will this battle of the Clique prove us smart marks wrong or just confirm what we have been saying for weeks?

Brandon: It'll confirm that neither should ever wrestle again.

Fake Razor: I'm quite sure the match will suck. I mean, HBK hasn't wrestled since 1998... and HHH is nowhere near the wrestler he was in 2000.

Brandon: HBK's been out for four years... HHH wrestles like he came back from Austin's neck injury. The combination won't be pretty

Dr. Tom: It's supposed to be a "fight," which I guess means no tough bumps for Shawn. Now, how he's going to stand a chance against a muscle-bound freak 609 pounds heavier is a matter of conjecture at this point.

Byron: This match will reconfirm our worst fears- it will reflect what was one of the most BORING segments I've ever seen and my friggin’ 13 year-old brother called the surprise five minutes beforehand! Honestly, who expects HBK to even put up a good fight in this anyway?

Dr. Tom: It's going to be punch-kick, which allows Shawn to take part. This is also the basic structure of all HHH matches since he came back from his injury so they shouldn't have any problems. I think they're making HBK out to be Rocky Balboa here. He's smaller, outclassed in power, fighting for pride...

Dames: That doesn't mean the match won’t suck however.

Fake Razor: They'll probably add some gimmick to it. Make it a street fight or something so that HBK won't have to actually wrestle.

Byron: I wouldn’t be surprised to see a few run-ins as well. I'd say Booker T or Big Show or maybe even both.

Dr. Tom: Booker needs to stay away from HBK. He's doing too well as a face.

Byron: Well, they've all been pissed off by Trips and what better way to make him look bad then to have him lose to a semi-retired cripple?

Brandon: Jericho will run in and turn face by attacking HHH

Dames: That would just confuse everyone! Jericho hasn't done anything to even seem like a face these days.

Brandon: The problem is that Jericho and HHH are NEVER the same alignment for long… that means a quick face turn for him.

Byron: True, but why would Booker confront HBK in the first place when he and Shawn were both faces?

Brandon: because the writers aren't very good?

Dr. Tom: Because Shawn superkicked him out of the NWOld. He should have gotten over that pretty quickly, considering that group's fate. There shouldn't be any run-ins. Let the "match" live and die by itself.

Brandon: they blew several perfectly good opportunities with HBK and HHH. D-X got a HUGE pop. HHH's original turn on HBK got about as much heat then they made HHH a tweener for two weeks before revealing he beat down HBK. That successfully killed any heat he would have had… not that he was a heat machine to begin with!

Fake Razor: They should have drawn out the D-X thing for another week or so as much as I didn't like it. It would have thrown more heat on the feud... the fans were stunned for the whole thing and gave it a big pop.

Dames: when HHH smiled and said, "You damn right it was me", it seemed like the crowd wasn't watching the screen

Fake Razor: If they built up the angle when HHH DID turn on Shawn then I think the crowd would have been more receptive.

Brandon: It's spaghetti booking at its worst.

Dr. Tom: The whole thing has been shabbily booked from the start.

Byron: Yeah Razor, that's another thing. All these tossed off heel turns are screwing up the wrestlers

Fake Razor: Why would HHH even join RAW? Just to punk out HBK? It doesn't add up. Tonight ruined whatever momentum HHH had as a heel anyway.

Dr. Tom: A lot of things don't add up. I think WWE uses broken calculators.

Dames: Well, that’s not exactly what it was supposed to be. By the way, was it just me or did they sound like a couple in the beginning of this promo?

Brandon: These are the creative problems that guys are complaining about, then getting in trouble over. If HHH would come out and done a heel promo, he'd have still had heat. His momentum died last week when he gave a tweener promo.

Fake Razor: I noticed that. He barely got any heat when he turned tonight.

Brandon: That's because he's using the Big Slow's playbook where you turn every other segment!

Dr. Tom: He got NO heat when he turned. The fans cheered at first. They can't follow the cocktail napkin booking, either.

Byron: True, Tom. It’s like Russo-Mania all over again.

Brandon: Anyone else think that the writers need a bunch of Ritalin?

Dr. Tom: I think they need a bunch of cyanide.

Brandon: That would be if it were incurable which the last two weeks have proven to be untrue.

Dr. Tom: Eh, they need some new blood on the creative team, anyway. Cyanide might be the catalyst to enact change.

Byron: If Gerwitz wrote this week's RAW, he should be fired NOW!

Dames: Well, I would just like them to establish some sort of continuity.

 

William: As Brandon mentioned, Matt Hardy recently suggested the creative dept. was in shambles and has been more active in expressing his opinions. This occurs at the same time that reports say Stone Cold's leadership is sorely missed. Just two years ago it was the model locker room. Will this locker room drama ever go away?

Brandon: Having management install two of its shills as the "locker room leaders" doesn't help the situation. HHH burned most of his bridges with that "pep talk" and Taker has been self-serving for at least a year.

Fake Razor: As long as guys like HHH are around, the drama will never go away.

Dames: good thing the NWO is no longer a faction, huh

Dr. Tom: I don’t think we'll ever perceive it as going away. It will always be reported, however insignificant, because there is a terribly willing audience for it.

Byron: What a shock... Matt does exactly what HHH talked about in that RAW meeting a while back, yet Jeff gets a semi-push because he jumps off of tall, shiny things and talks like a crack addict after a bad batch

Brandon: Jeff gets a push because he's seen as more marketable

Fake Razor: I don't know why.

Brandon: that's the same old WWE song and dance

Dames: Matt Hardy has never received the kind of pops that Jeff does, simple as that. He doesn't do anything for the crowds.

Dr. Tom: He yodels.

Dames: Yodeling is popular?

Dr. Tom: Apparently not.

Byron: I understand your point Dames, but he would have meant something if that botched match at last year's Vengeance hadn't been a complete clusterfuck!

Brandon: That's because Team X-Treme was in no shape to perform by then, for whatever reason.

Dames: Wasn't that match blamed on Matt Hardy too?

Brandon: Matt wanted to do a ground-based match, if I recall correctly.

Byron: I've always thought Matt would make the better heel

Dr. Tom: But you can't be a heel if no one can understand your promos.

Fake Razor: Too bad he didn't realize that his brother couldn’t handle a ground-based match.

Brandon: Jeff's problems also scrapped that turn, because his unreliability caused Matt to be plugged into Jeff's spot on TV for a while.

Dr. Tom: I kind of enjoyed seeing UT kick the shit out of them. I've never liked the Hardys anyway. And the throat spike onto the chair was a cool little spot.

 

William: Ok, enough with the negative vibes. On the positive tip, let’s discuss what the fed is doing right!!!! What is the fed doing to keep you watching?

Brandon: They WERE putting on good matches and building young guys up until tonight. They scrapped a lot of that tonight by letting Taker and HHH intimidate everyone.

Fake Razor: I'm digging the Un Americans, even if the angle has been done several times. The cruiserweight division has been good thus far also.

Dames: Rey Mysterio. Period.

Dr. Tom: The cruiserweights on Smackdown are great.

Byron: It appears they are giving the new guys time to wow the fans and possibly get over.

Brandon: Putting the focus on guys like Jericho, RVD, Angle, etc. who are all good workers and who have good crowd reactions is a good thing as opposed to pushing over-the-hill guys who can't get a reaction anymore.

Dr. Tom: I like Bischoff as the smarmy heel GM, too. He's better in the role than "Mr. McMahon," a character that had basically become a self-parody.

Fake Razor: I'm really getting into Bischoff for some reason. He's the perfect dickhead heel.

Dames: I agree, Bischoff has this odd charisma that is just compelling TV for me.

Brandon: Bischoff's okay... he just needs to make the Island Boyz into a real tag team rather than his enforcers.

Dr. Tom: The women's matches, with the Gayda abortion obviously not included, have been solid, too.

Fake Razor: I can't believe Lillian Garcia took those bumps.

Dr. Tom: They were tame bumps, Razor.

Dames: If Mae Young can take them, Lillian certainly can.

Fake Razor: Speaking of Mae, if you were Vince would you want that kind of liability on your hands?

Dr. Tom: You could see on the replays how he protected her. If she signs the waiver and she's willing to do it, let her go out there and take the bumps.

Dames: Even is she's protected.... there’s still the chance that she could have had a heart attack or something, I wouldn't have done it

Fake Razor: Mae could easily die from a bump like that, no matter how protected.

Dr. Tom: Remember the Bubba superbomb bump she did last year? THAT was insane for an elderly woman.

Fake Razor: It's ridiculous, and not worth it, considering that the fans don't give a fuck about Moolah and Mae.

William: Do you guys think the hardcore aspects and the women-beating that continues on WWE TV is preventing the Fed from moving forward? Obviously those aspects of the programming are cliché and tired.

Dr. Tom: Personally, I don't think they need to beat up women to advance any storyline. Someone can get booed without slamming a girl or an old lady around. But I'm not going to change the channel because they're doing it. Anyone who would stopped watching during the PTC boycotts.

Brandon: The hardcore aspect is a joke at this point, aside from the Dreamer-Stevie Singapore cane match. It's a formula that is so far into parody that it's pathetic

Fake Razor: Bradshaw vs. Dreamer was probably the most boring 7 minutes I've seen on TV in a LONG time.

Dr. Tom: No, I don't think misogyny is stopping them. No one with half a brain thinks it's real, so I don't see how something like that could be holding them back.

Byron: I think Hardcore wrestling is pretty much dead at this point

Dr. Tom: Hardcore has been dead since Rhyno and RVD dropped that belt.

Byron: it may be cute for a special-type stipulation, but who really gives a flying fuck about hardcore matches now?

Fake Razor: For the hardcore matches, I feel Bradshaw kills the whole division. His whole Texas cowboy crap is dated and boring.

Dames: When it’s Bradshaw bullshit, with bullshit weapons and bullshit brawling on the outside, its dead to me. I don't think the trashcan lids have been over since Steve Blackman was Hardcore champ.

Fake Razor: I'd rather see trash can lids than Bradshaw hog-tying people.

Brandon: Bradshaw's singles push has been probably the biggest waste this side of Billy Gunn in 1999. If ANYONE else couldn't succeed in their push despite being paired with Austin, they'd have been fired!

Byron: In my opinion, Bradshaw should just be a Heat regular from now on

Dames: Heat is too good for Bradshaw.

Brandon: Bradshaw should be on dark match duty with Justin Credible

Dr. Tom: Bradshaw should be shitcanned so some younger talent can be rehired.

Dames: stick him in dark matches and see who's stiff enough for the competition. Find out who can take that kind of punishment. Bradshaw could be the litmus test, so to speak.

Brandon: Saturn used to be that litmus test and it didn't work too well.

Dames: BREAKING OUT THE CHEMISTRY~!

 

William: Well, speaking of WWF projects that didn’t work, is anyone else fed up with the split?

Dames: I used to defend the split but now I’m through with it.

William: It seems so forced.

Fake Razor: Actually, I was getting sick of it, but now it entertains me. The GM thing is making it interesting.

Brandon: Keep Bischoff and replace Steph. That'll put a few more months of life into it.

Dr. Tom: I still like the split.

Brandon: They also need to stop letting the talent switch shows so often. They’re having people jump like there's no tomorrow. If it was any worse, they'd just switch Smackdown to Mondays and RAW to Thursdays!

Byron: Everything they are doing now has pretty much come too late, even though they are headed in the right direction.

Dr. Tom: I don't think they're going far enough with it, though. They need Raw and Smackdown TV titles to be defended every week. No more Intercontinental and Hardcore titles... Raw and Smackdown TV titles, and they need to be built up as important in the eyes of the fans.

Byron: The wrestlers need an incentive to be on one show or the other

Dames: They should have just kept the European Title for RAW and the IC for Smackdown.

Byron: Yeah, they fucked themselves again when they unified the Euro and IC belts.

Dames: I’d love to get rid of HC, but I just can’t see myself wanting the IC title dead.

Dr. Tom: Bah, get rid of all the secondary belts and make new ones.

Fake Razor: I couldn't ever kill the IC title.

William: But Tom, to disband the IC title, isn't that a slap in the face of any wrestler who was proud to wear that belt, including the HonkyTonk Man?

Dr. Tom: I'm not worried about offending Tito Santana.

Dames: I’m worried about insulting guys like Steamboat. Savage.

Fake Razor: Steamboat, Piper, Hart.

Dames: You know, the GOOD IC champs!

Brandon: That’s true, Will, but that belt now has the history of about every midcard belt in existence. It's been unified with the US title and the Euro belt. And the US title was unified with the UWF's TV title.

Dr. Tom: What do any of the titles mean these days, really? The best thing to do is scrapping it and making new TV titles and fight over them every week. Make them truly seem right next to the Undisputed title in importance.

Byron: well, they could just retire the belt and have some sort of elaborate ceremony... heh

William: I understand both viewpoints on the title debate but the real issue is the split. Business is down. The shows aren't sold out. The storyline is hokey and the fans are apathetic to the entire mess. Shouldn’t we just mercy kill the entire thing?

Fake Razor: I don't think ending the split would do much for business. It's going to take a while to get the ball rolling again.

Dr. Tom: TV ratings are down, too. The business is cyclical.

Brandon: Business is down because no one's sure whom they're getting at each show... and IF they're sure, it's usually people they don't want to see on top. Everyone wants Rock, Austin, Hogan, and a few others.

TheDames7: Here’s a perfect example of that, Brandon. Tonight, someone had a "WE love the Rock sign" He didn't show up.

William: Don’t you need all the star power you can get during this downturn?

Brandon: Most people aren't getting ANY of those stars anyway if they go to a house show because Rock and Hogan don't do many of them. I don’t know if ending the split will change that.

Dr. Tom: It's "hokey," Will, because someone cried about his match at Wrestlemania and had it changed, thus making the split look like it came out of nowhere.

Brandon: Dr. Tom... they could have just had Vince interfere in the Flair-Taker match and made it work. They didn't change it THAT soon before the Austin-Hall match

William: Your scenario would have made more sense Brandon.

Byron: I still don't see how interference in Austin's match would have triggered the split, Tom

Dr. Tom: I don't either, really. Flair-UT would have made more sense, but either way, they pinned the tail on the wrong donkey.

William: That’s just feeding into the WWE machine and I refuse to accept Vince and J.R.'s company line that it was Austin's fault. Plus, Austin had good reason to be concerned. Hall was fired within 6 weeks.

Dr. Tom: Well, if they wanted the Austin-Hall match to be the linchpin of the split, and Austin had the results changed, that much of it IS his fault. The rest is theirs for not coming up with a better answer.

Brandon: That much MAY be his fault, but it wasn't without good reason.

Dr. Tom: I know Austin had his reasons, Brandon. He just went about expressing them 100% wrong. But it was wrong for WWE to badmouth him as well and pretend his complaints were never made.

Brandon: Dr. Tom, look at Matt Hardy... Austin WAS getting the Matt Hardy treatment! He had to put over a worthless guy because the lousy writers couldn't come up with something better to do

Byron: I can admit Austin was a dickhead for some of the stuff he did, but when creative is pulling all this stupid shit and the end result makes EVERYONE look weak, then JR and Vince need to suck it up and take the heat.

Dr. Tom: Byron, management NEVER takes the heat in any business. It's always the workers who get blamed. Why should wrestling, a shadier business than most, be any different? Also, Brandon, I know Austin was treated shabbily. But that's no excuse for walking out on your job.

Byron: I understand, Tom. It just gets frustrating when the people in charge lay all the problems on someone else other than themselves.

Brandon: Austin shouldn't have done that unless he had no intentions of coming back but look at the creative team... people were getting yelled at for suggesting ideas because either someone is below the creative team's level or their idea sucks.

Dames: I’m sure he's regretting that decision right now.

Brandon: It’s funny. Everything seems to be Austin and Bret's fault now. I find it odd that between the two of them, they carried the company for the past decade.

 

William: Speaking of Bret, on Confidential this past Saturday, they described the fall of WCW and basically blamed the whole thing on Bret Hart

Dr. Tom: Blaming the fall of WCW on Bret is like blaming baseball's salary problems on Alex Rodriguez. It's not his fault someone was stupid and irresponsible enough to offer him that much money.

Fake Razor: I agree. Bret was just an example of how WCW squandered their money.

Brandon: Vince knew what he was doing in ‘97... he's just being a dick about it now!

Dr. Tom: And Hogan just needs to shut up and realize that he and his lazy friends half-assing their way through their fat contracts didn't help anyone, either.

Dames: For Hogan of all people to put the blame on Bret Hart rightfully reestablishes him as the biggest asshole in this industry.

Brandon: Vince wanted to make WCW pay as much as possible for Bret so that it hurt them, especially since he knew they didn't know how to use Bret

Fake Razor: Not that I'm saying they squandered their money on Bret, but they paid him an awful lot.

Dames: No, they squandered it.... because they didn't use him. They didn't use him properly; they buried him, then he was injured.... and its ALL His fault?

Dr. Tom: Exactly, Dames. They got no return on their investment. The biggest thing he ever did in WCW was get a concussion, and that's a goddamn travesty.

Fake Razor: Originally, I think they saw nabbing Bret Hart as the "final nail" in the then WWF's coffin. That is one of the reasons why they paid him so much. They totally dropped the ball though.

Dames: Motherfuckers, because as we all know, WCW died right after Bret got a concussion, right?

Byron: WCW died after the Fingerpoke of Doom

Dames: Byron....David Arquette. THAT’S what killed WCW

Brandon: WCW was hurting before that... I'd say that Goldberg going over Hogan on Nitro rather than a PPV was the start of the downfall.

Byron: The Fingerpoke did nothing but give Hogan another title reign and then the big angle for the year (Goldberg/NWO) was flushed down the crapper shortly afterwards. Yes, Arquette was bad, but at least that angle paid off somewhat.

Dames: Arquette turned heel! How on earth did that angle pay off?

Brandon: all he did was allow an easy way for DDP to lose the belt without jobbing

Dames: Goldberg as champ kept them afloat. I wouldn't say that was the start of their downfall.

Brandon: true, but doing it on TV rather than PPV cost them TONS of money.

Dames: It did, but in retrospect but they could have always done a rematch on PPV.

Brandon: Hogan job to someone twice without getting one in return? That would never have happened!

Dames: Hey, we're talking buyrates here.....not results.

Dr. Tom: You got that backwards, Brandon... its Hogan job to someone once without getting two in return?

William: Well, In Vince’s delusional world, the DX invasion of WCW was the catalyst in the Monday Night Wars. Either way, we certainly wish Bret a full recovery!

Fake Razor: Damn right.

Dr. Tom: Absolutely. Get well, Bret.

Dames: Bret, I love you.

Fake Razor: Bret is my all time favorite, get well soon.

 

William: Well, another company that has been experiencing woes and concerns about buyrates is the NWA. They are involved in a lawsuit that could affect the future of the company. Does this company still have a chance?

Byron: The NWA should have done a background check on that guy ahead of time. Not knowing he was working for the WWE also is just bad careless.

Brandon: Ugh... the NWA are dead in the water. Russo's killing whatever fan support they had. That lawsuit will NEVER get finished in time to save them.

Fake Razor: NWA: TNA needs a TV timeslot, plain and simple.

Dames: Brandon, I disagree. Russo is killing off the interest in their heavyweight division... but the X division is what’s getting people talking, and so far, he hasn't touched it, from what I have seen.

Brandon: he's also having midgets jerk off into trashcans and pull guns on Jeff Jarrett. He's killing the product as a whole instead of focusing on one thing.

Dr. Tom: And the truth about Russo remains. He gets people to talk, but doesn't get them to buy.

Byron: Not to mention that Shamrock is a joke of a champ right now

Has he even won a title match cleanly besides the Malice match?

Dames: Fucking Sabu was supposed to be fed to Shamrock, but of course, he bitched. Omori was supposed to be fed to Shammy, but of course, NOAH bitched. Will SOMEONE job to Shamrock? But NOT The Truth!

Byron: Now, the NWA put themselves into that situation, Dames. They should have hardballed NOAH instead of letting them dictate terms on the use of Omori.

Brandon: Shamrock = Ronnie Garvin 2002

William: But why should talent job Dames when Shamrock refuses to take bumps?

Brandon: They might as well put him on hiatus until losing the belt to someone like Malice or Jarrett.

Dr. Tom: Maybe they shouldn't have been using some Japanese dude no one in America cares about in the first place?

Dames: How about that Slash asshole? That would have made sense...job his useless ass!!!!

 

William: Well, I'm certainly you guys will watch the story as the news unfolds. Finally, in a disturbing story as discussed in Dames’ Week In Review, Messiah was assaulted in his apartment. This story is disturbing to say the least.

Byron: What happened to Messiah was fucked up! I hope he recovers.

Fake Razor: It is fucked up.

Dames: I’m willing to bet my dog that Rob Black had something to do with it.

Brandon: If they do link Rob Black to the Messiah incident, they need to discover a new form of punishment just for him

Dr. Tom: He probably did.

Fake Razor: I personally don't like Messiah, but no one should go through that… except maybe Rob Black!

Byron: Yeah Dames, this just smells of Black, especially with the circumstances surrounding Messiah's departure from XPW.

Dr. Tom: And considering they wanted to chop off his willie at first, but settled for his thumb.

Dames: I thought they cut his thumb off first.

Brandon: They got one thumb, tried the other, then went for Mr. Winky!

William: That's just depressing!

Dr. Tom: However it happened. The fact they went for the willie makes me think Black had something to do with it. He's such a subhuman piece of shit.

Byron: Yikes... a little Lorena Bobbitt action!

Dames: i'd love to know how Messiah stopped them from doing THAT

Brandon: I'm still wondering though... who'd want Lizzie Borden to begin with unless it was just to stick it to Black?

Dr. Tom: I think I could pull someone's spine out thru their nose if they'd just chopped off one of my thumbs. Adrenaline~!

 

William: Well fellas, I think we had a great discussion with the exception of Tom saying to Hell with the IC title!!!

Dames: To hell with Tom!

Dr. Tom: Cool, I'm a heel. It was me-uh all along-uh!

William: Well, in that case Tom, we'll look over our backs so you don't throw us through a car window!!!

Byron: Damn Tom, why are you swelling up?

Dr. Tom: Just ignore that needle, fellas.