PROMO: Because I can...

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

Forgive me, I get the feeling this is going to suck...

 

---

 

We are treated to a camera shot of Mike Van Siclen, reigning Television Champion, taking a nap on the locker room bench.  Nobody else is in there, of course not, not yet.  The show's not for another, oh... ten hours?  Yeah, that sounds about right... puts it at three o'clock, just about the same time the hot strippers go home and the ugly ones come in.  Hey, by that time the guys are drunk anyway, it's not like they'll notice.  But back to the scene, where Mike lay, nearly dead on the bench, sleeping, when there's a knock on the door.  No answer.  Another knock, and again, Van Siclen doesn't even stir.  By this point whoever's on the other side of the door is probably thinking that the locker room is empty, so they open the door...

 

To find Mike Van Siclen, dead asleep on a bench.  And who else would disturb him?

 

"(Kojack) Get the hell up, Mike."

"(Mike, eyes closed, murmuring) Go away..."

 

Kojack slaps Mike across the face.

 

"(Kojack) Wakey-wakey, motherfucker, you're on in ten hours."

 

Mike stirs a bit, sitting up to face Kojack.

 

"(Mike) Do you want something?  You're disturbing my pre-match ritual."

"(Kojack) Did it ever occur to you that you should get a new pre-match ritual?  I mean, dude, you've lost three of your last four matches."

"(Mike) Did it ever occur to you that two of the last three matches I lost I teamed with you?"

 

A look of disgust crosses Kojack's face.

 

"(Kojack) Dude, I just wanted to tell you that you're pretty screwed tonight."

"(Mike) How am I screwed now?  (yawns)  I mean, I only just managed to dodge the bullet on not having to defend my title against Erek, and now you're telling me I'm screwed?  Why?"

 

Kojack's face sours further.

 

"(Kojack) Maybe I'd just be better off not telling you..."

"(Mike) Jeez, dude, if I'm screwed I'd at least like to know why, before I completely write the match off as a lost cause."

"(Kojack) Yeah, well, I've been listening to Brody talk... I know, man, he's planning something..."

"(Mike) What do you mean, planning something?  Are you too much of a dimwit to get the whole story?"

 

Kojack looks down at Mike.

 

"(Kojack) Listen, all I'm saying is to watch your back.. Brody may not beat you, but damn, he will beat you, in at least one sense of the word."

 

Mike stands up.

 

"(Mike) What the hell are you trying to say, Kojack?  I mean, we've been friends for a while, have we not?  We've beaten people, have we not?  We've taken Brody's punk ass out before, have we not?  And yet now, backs to the wall, baby, and all you can say is that 'Brody's gonna beat you in at least one sense of the word'?  What the hell does that mean, Kojack?  Do you have my back tonight?"

 

Kojack shoves Mike back a little bit, pressing him against the locker.  He backs off, but fire is in his eyes as he speaks his next words.

 

"(Kojack) Yeah, I've got your back.  But you may need to watch it on your damn own for once... because next time, I might not..."

 

Kojack storms off, walking out of the locker room as Ben Hardy walks in.

 

"(Ben) Why, thanks for holding the door for me Kojack."

 

Ben Hardy spots Mike against the wall, seething as Hardy walks up to him.

 

"(Ben) Mike!  How do you feel about your match tonight with Shawn Brody for your Television Title?"

 

Mike looks at Ben, rage building on his face.

 

"(Mike) How do I feel... how do I feel.. how do I FUCKING FEEL!?!  Is that the BEST question you could come up for the fucking GREATEST TELEVISION CHAMION EVER!  IS IT!"

"(Ben) No, actually..."

"(Mike) I don't give a fuck... you fucking..."

 

Without another word, Mike puts Ben into a DDT position, Hardy screaming as Mike whirls around, slamming Ben's face into the tiled floor with a Code Red!  Mike picks up the mic, looking down at Ben.

 

"(Mike) How.... do I feel?  Hardy, I don't have to grace your presence... so maybe the next time, you wanna interview me, you should fucking WRITE NEW QUESTIONS!"

 

Mike drops the mic, walking out of the locker room.  Fade to commercial...

[Guest WarMachine]

Eh, I don't think it was that bad. But I think it would've worked better without Hardy. Additionally, maybe would've been better if it was a segment during Metal. IMO.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Man, can't a tag team ever stay together more than a few weeks!  Medic, medic, they're dyin' out there!

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

Hey, how do YOU know we're breaking up?  Even better, how do you know where this is going?  Oh ho ho, you don't... maybe it's there to make you THINK about us breaking up.  How's THAT for you?

 

-Mike Van Siclen

[Guest Shawn]

Grumble... I'm not planning anything but meh... it doesn't really matter...

 

"We've taken Brody's punk ass out before, have we not?"

 

Hahaha...

 

 

 

 

Oh man, I'm screwed...

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

Dude, did you just thumbs-down me?

[Guest Shawn]

*does it again*

 

Sorry but I'm just in a grumpy mood. First I can't get on the boards, now I have to log in EVERY time I post... I almost miss _ _ _ (fill in the blanks). My first match was lost. My second one was cut like a biatch in the middle and that's just the tip of the ice berg.

 

Oh and next time, could you just send me the promo first so I can say if something's wrong or whatever. I'm not going to make a big deal out of this becuase it doesn't really matter...

[Guest]

That wasn't bad, if anthing that was pretty good Mike. I don't know why you say that it sucks. Because it dosen't...You're not going to be saying "Your TV Camp" any more thou eh? Tehe

[Guest Joe Smoe]

Ya it is a good promo. Its the first good promo in the SJL era. Or something like that good promo any way.