Guest TSMAdmin Report post Posted October 2, 2002 What’s On The Box: How The Towers Collapsed What’s In The Player: The Alien Legacy Happy Labor Day (you know, that really should have a “u” in it) to you all. I have no idea what the hell Labor Day is or does, and when I was living in LA nobody else seemed to be able to enlighten me either. All I got out of it was “don’t wear white” and something involving doves, although I couldn’t figure out any meaningful correlation between the two. Feel free to email me and wisen me up. Monkey Ball 2 rules all kind of fucking shit. I just wanted to get that out of my system right away, since I’m gonna cut this report short and go play it some more. Hell, it’s not like there’s any actual news going on this week. Yes, I DID pick up Queen of The Damned last week, predominantly thanks to my girlfriend’s gothic fetish. But it’s actually a lot better film than most people myself included gave it credit for. Sure, it bears almost no resemblance to the Rice novels, but the missus is an AVID fan of those and she was ale to take her “smart” hat off long enough to enjoy it. It’s campy, and the story is pretty incoherent at times, but it’s got a BOSS soundtrack and shit, it’s dripping with style. Oh yeah, BulletsnBabes is seemingly being regularly updated again, which is good news for all (especially news-pilferers like myself). It’s a great little site, so be sure to head on over there and check it out. Since I can’t think of anything else to say to eat up some space, why don’t we go ahead and HIT THE CONTENT~! WHAT’S HOT THIS WEEK LOTS, mate. If you don’t fully intend to go out and buy the New Line Platinum Edition of Blade II, you simply have NO BUSINESS watching movies or DVDs of any kind. It’s just that simple. This flick kicks all kinds of ass shaky CGI aside and even manages to better the original AND it’s badass, bloodsucking DVD. Buy this or, quite simply, you are gay. Somewhat less badass, but definitely still worth picking up is season four of Trek: Next Generation. It’s basically the same set of extras as the earlier sets but with a vastly superior set of episodes. Early Trek = dick. If you disagree, dick Sci-fi really be your thing, in which case the many, many useless discs of Stargate SG-WHAT? are probably right up your alley. In addition, both the classic and new series of The Outer Limits are DVD’ed this week, which may or may not actually count as Sci-fi. In Memoriam New York City, 9/11/01 is a documentary that I haven’t actually seen, but sounds pretty interesting, given the involvement of one Rudy G and footage from (I guess) that perspective. Tempted as I am to write this off as a cynical cash-in on the 9/11 anniversary, I have been sat here all week watching documentaries on the subject myself, so I guess I’m ust getting cynical in my old age. Of interest to View Askew fans is the DVD release of Vulgar. Whilst some people might actually be looking forward to seeing depictions of clowns getting raped, the main attraction will likely be the long-awaited 'Judge Not: In Defence of Dogma' documentary that was aborted from the Dogma:SE at the last minute. Of course, the disc is loaded with the usual Smith-led commentaries, deleted scenes, and Easter Eggs, although it’s worth mentioning that they are not on par with the usual View Askew excellence, and even the commentary is a little tough to listen to. But hey, it’s enough to tide us over until Jersey Girl, right? More TV content in the form of Friends: The Complete Second Season which, from what I can tell without actually looking at any sort of spec sheet or press release, will be the similarly shallow affair as the first with riveting commentaries from the executive producers. And before all the flameage starts filling up my inbox, I don’t care WHO the execs are or HOW many stories they “might” have to tell you’re paying these assholes a cool mil per episode; may as well get their sorry asses sat down to record a commentary that might shift discs and, oh I dunno, line their pockets with even more royalty cash. Twats. Another piece of useless TV material is South Park: Ghouls, Ghosts and Underpants Gnomes, the title of which is so gut-fuckingly funny I don’t even need to pick up the DVD for fear of wearing out my laughter glands. Anyway, despite my contempt for the series, this disc really is a pointless purchase since it’s just a themed-disc filled with a few episodes, and the complete season boxsets are just months away. So if you buy this, you are just gay. Then there’s the usual batch of re-releases, including Broken Arrow, Crouching Tiger, (The Shit Hits) The Fan, Krull, Judge Dredd, and even by God Cabin Boy! You know what else is out this week? MUTHAFUCKIN EDDIE~! Holy Christ, I’ve been looking forward to seeing that again. Yeah yeah, standard Disney feelgood sports-shit, but hey, who wouldn’t want to see LJ as the movie’s bad guy? And besides, it’s the only way you’ll see the Knicks anywhere near the top of the league this season… Esos de usted el sur de la frontera quizás sea interesado también a recoger éstos bellezas pequeñas: El Hombre Sin Sombra, El Patriota, y Espiritu Salvaje, en Edicion Especiales! Por supuesto, éstos son también fuera como rgeular las liberaciones inglesas del idioma también, pero lo que el infierno. Fuerce una botella de tequila y obtenga ocupado. Por favor también nota que mi español es irrisorio a lo más, y de hecho yo traduzco esto con FreeTranslation.com. Quebrada, tope con hilo, ci nena ci, arriba la raza, ariba! A slew of films starring your favourite former WCW-champions are released this week that everyone here simply MUST own for the sake of their smartness. Leading the way are Hollywood Hulk Hogan’s own Mr Nanny and Suburban Commando, featuring a cameo role for Hollywood Mark Calloway. Hollywood Kevin Nash brings the pain (no kidding) in Turtles II: Secrets of The Ooze, and bringing up the rear, YOUR former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Hollywood David Arquette in See Spot Run. Jesus fucking Christ, I can’t believe people still have the gall to argue that WCW deserves to be around today. Daddy of The Week: Ooh, decisions decisions. Well, Blackjack was right up there, featuring the LONG-AWAITED team-up of John Woo and Dolph Lungren. Mmm, FEEL THE ACTING~! Following closely behind were the Tox Box (four-disc Toxic Avenger boxset) and the Ernest movies (whereby Ernest manages to go to camp, jail, AND save Christmas). But the daddy, as always, is everybody’s favourite Brussells born B-movie badass, Jean-Claude Van Damme in The Order. Yes, the one where he disguises himself as a Hissiddic Jew whilst Charlton Heston whores himself for a cameo. If only Bolo was in it… TEEN WOOOLF! (AND HIS BROTHERS) Looks like bad news for folks eagerly anticipating the TVA Canada-only single and three-disc Brotherhood of the Wolf special editions. As was expected by most, the audio commentaries have been confirmed as French-language only with no subtitles, which is a pretty big downer. However, the mammoth amount of extras on the disc (including the deleted scenes and documentary) will have English subtitles. Hurrah for the Canucks! Both discs will be released on October 1st; the Deluxe Edition is anamorphic with a 5.1 mix in both English and French, and a French-only DTS track, and the feature is subtitled. There is the French commentary and the choice of English or French menus. The Three Disc Collector’s Edition is exactly the same, with two extra discs packed with features: Disc Two contains a making of, deleted scenes, ‘The Legend’, and filmographies, all in original French audio with English subtitles. Disc Three contains an eighty-minute documentary, storyboards, and a photo gallery, again with French audio and English subtitles. Also included on both discs are bonus DVD-ROM features, although what they are and what language they’re in is unknown (not that anyone’s likely to care). This stacks up incredibly well to the comparatively barebones US Universal release, and even manages to better the original French version of this release, since it adds an English dub to the picture as well as subs to all the features well, except the commentary. That doesn’t mean some kind froggy or Canuck can’t translate the whole thing for us though… Thanks to The DVD Times for doing the groundwork. DA DA-DA DAA! BUF-FY POW-ERR! The six-disc Region 2 release of Buffy Season 5 is set to drop on October 28th. In addition to the anamorphic transfer (hurrah!) and 2.0 soundtrack (boo!), the extras are shaping up to be… well, the usual affair. Nonetheless, the discs (which are largely the same as their Region 1 counterparts) will look largely like this: Disc 1 Buffy vs. Dracula Real Me The Replacement Out Of My Mind Extras: Commentary by David Fury and David Grossman for "Real Me", script for "The Replacement" Disc 2 No Place Like Home Family Fool For Love Shadow Extras: Commentary by Doug Petrie for "Fool For Love", script for "Fool For Love" Disc 3 Listening to Fear Into The Woods Triangle Extras: Script for "Into The Woods", featurette - "Buffy Abroad", featurette - "Demonology - A Slayer's Guide", featurette - "Casting Buffy", featurette - "Action Heros! The Stunts of Buffy", six trailers Disc 4 Checkpoint Blood Ties Crush I Was Made To Love You Extras: Script for "Checkpoint", commentary by Jane Espenson for "I Was Made To Love You" Disc 5 The Body Forever Intervention Tough Love Extras: Commentary by Joss Whedon for "The Body" Disc 6 Spiral The Weight Of The World The Gift Extras: Featurette - "The Story of Season 5", featurette - "Natural Causes", featurette - "Spotlight on Dawn", stills gallery - 50 images Surprise surprise the gag reel is once again missing, as it has been since Season 3. That is, unless they’re simply the best-hidden Easter Eggs in the history of anything ever, but that’s kind of unlikely. But other than that, the set is looking pretty tasty. The only stickler with British consumers is likely to be the price - £79.99 (about $124) for twenty episodes. Compare that with Fox’s other October TV release, Ally McBeal, which will cost only £40 for twenty-two episodes (albeit, without extras), and you can see why. Hell, even Fox’s botch-job release of 24 only retailed for £45, and after that consumer fiasco, you would have thought they would be eager to do everything possible to keep the punters happy. Yet an eighty pound price-point would just be as we say in England taking the piss. Kiss my ass, Murdoch. Kiss my hairy, smelly ass. Yikes, these updates are getting lighter and lighter on content. Hell, it’s not my fault the only other thing I had pasted into my scratch Word document was a press release on a Hammer Horror boxset. Oh well. I’m working on the Robo re-write, and I’ll probably start grabbing screenshots towards the end of the week, so expect the “new” review to be re-posted at the weekend-ish. FUCK MOVIE QUOTES TIME FOR MONKEY BALL 2~! Peace. Jay Spree Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
