WWE Sunday Night heat Recap

[Guest TSMAdmin]

Sorry there was no Heat recap last week but my VCR messed up and didn’t record it and I couldn’t get a hold of a copy since I got my new job with AT&T Broadband. Not to mention for the first month I have a god awful schedule of 8am -5 pm. Doesn’t sound that bad…. Until you get to the fun part. It’s basically a 45min to an hour commute down to Everett/Bothell (about 15 miles from Seattle) from Bellingham if I I’m on the freeway around 6-6:30 and isn’t that bad. So you would expect the return trip to be about the same right? Hell no and let me explain why. From Everett to a town called Marysville is approximately 10 miles at the most, and that should take me going at 70mph about 10-15 minutes and I am being generous for slow downs and such. But instead the motherfucker takes a goddamn hour just to go 10 FUCKING miles! And there is no freaking reason either, people just can’t stand to let any freaking traffic in and it slows us all down and makes my day go from about 9 hours to 12. God I can’t wait until my schedule of Sunday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday from 3pm – 2am starts. Sure I have to work 4 10 hour shifts but I’m off 3 days a week. WHOOOHOOO!!! Well I’m done venting so on to the recap!!!

 

Opening credits… feel the HEAT!!!

 

Our commentators are the Coach and D’LO (I really hope since DDP is retired they give him an announce job.)

 

First match is Goldust vs. Steven Richards, and Richards is wearing a shirt with Jazz’s picture on it that says “I miss you sweet thang.” Oh lord I don’t know if I’m going to like this version of Jungle Love. Steven runs in and pounds Goldust to start. Goldust reversed into the ropes and Steven misses the dropkick. Goldust with a slingshot variation into the ropes in which he held onto Steven's legs. Looked like that would hurt like a bitch. Goldust with the BUTT bump and a cover for 2. Steven gets whipped into the corner and goes for the roundup but Steven counters. Steven with a suplex into a cover for 2. Steven with a couple of knees to Goldust’s back. Head lock by Steven but Goldust powers out of it. Goldust punches Steven down and then with an atomic drop and clothes-line into a pin for 2. Power slam by Goldust and only gets 2 again on the pin. Goldust reversed into ropes but ends up punching Richards in the face and hits the curtain call for the pin.

 

INSIGHT: Eh, typical Steven Richards match. Simple and solid but fucking boring as hell.

 

Our next match is Planet Stasiak vs. Tommy Dreamer. Have I mention how much I like Stasiak? I would love for him to get a bunch of fluke wins and attribute it to the Power of the Planet… that would rock so much. They lock it up to start with a head lock by Tommy that gets reversed into a slam by Stasiak. And Stasiak is already hearing the voices (Speaking of voices our favorite wrestling scribe has updated his website twice in the last 2 weeks… that right the Ultimate Warrior himself! Check out UltimateWarrior.com and make sure you have lots of caffeine and aspirin to ward off the headache you’ll get from the first paragraph, and if you do make it past the first paragraph I recommend a 15 minute break in between each following paragraph). Stasiak pounds Dreamer and then throws him into the ropes. Stasiak tries for a hip toss but Dreamer reverses into a hip toss of his own. Drop toe hold by Dreamer followed by a clothes line that sends Stasiak out to the floor. Dreamer borrows a beer from a fan and spits into Planets face. Stasiak with a suplex on the floor and throws Dreamer back in. Stasiak stomps Dreamer into the corner and then just picks him up and drops him. Slam by Stasiak followed by a back drop and then a suplex and cover for 2. Elbow to Dreamers head followed by knees to Tommy’s back. Bear hug by Stasiak. Dreamer fights out of it and get put into another bear hug. Tommy bites Stasiak in the head and then hits a spine buster. Punches are exchanged followed by a back drop and DDT by Dreamer. Cover for 2 by Dreamer. Stasiak reverses a pile driver by Dreamer and hits a clothes line. Dreamer with a Death Valley Driver and then gets the cover for the win.

 

INSIGHT: It was an ok match since I like both guys especially Stasiak. That said... it was pretty slow and predictable. I wish they could think up something for the Planet outside of losing on Heat constantly, especially since the character could make up for his wrestling flaws.

 

Recap of Shawn Michaels' speech from RAW. You know… since HBK was supposed to be dead and Shawn found God… does that mean the Shawn actually is Jesus and that is how HBK got resurrected? I hope Booker T get a good push out of this and it isn’t Nash trying to ride yet another guy’s coat-tails to extend his career another 10 years past its prime.

 

Crash gets in the ring and states that apparently D’Lo has been holding him down for the past 15 years. D’Lo gets up and its ON. Impromptu match occurs which isn’t worth recapping. The short and sweet version is D’Lo whooped Crashes ass.

 

Recap of Flair vs. Vince for 100% ownership of the WWE from last Monday. I wonder if the brand extension is over or it’s just going to drag on and on. If it does end it will just be sure-fire angle #301 this year that tanked. They should at least keep it going for a few more months to try and turn it around.

 

Our main event of the evening is Raven vs. Jeff Hardy which was supposed to be X-Pac vs. Hardy but since he is a whiny bitch it got changed to Raven. Not that I am complaining about not having to watch X-Pac wrestle, but the grease ball needs to be fired… preferably with letter sent by UPS this time just to keep his ass guessing. Anyways back to the match. Raven has “fate” written on his chest. Jeff Hardy comes out to the delight of the teeny-boppers everywhere. Hip toss by Raven to start, followed by a slam by Raven. Hardy gets a shoulder block and hits his own hip toss followed by a slam. They are just copying fools. Jeff goes up but Raven stops him. Jeff fights him off and goes for the Swanton but Raven moves out of the way. Raven with a knee to the back of Jeff’s head from the top rope. Cover for 2 by Raven. Hardy whipped into the corner and Raven follows. Raven with a running DDT and a cover for 2. Jeff spin kicks Raven, followed by a jawbreaker and cover for 2. Jeff gets thrown outside and then dragged back in by Raven. Clothes line by Raven followed by a knee lift that sends Jeff back to the outside. Jeff struggles up to the apron and then gets clothesline outside once again. Jeff gets a TV cable and chokes Raven and gets DQed. Jeff hits the Swanton just for kicks.

 

INSIGHT: Another “eh” match. Given sometime I’m sure these two could have a good match but this is Heat so we are basically screwed.

 

 

Commentator Rating:

 

I think D’Lo did a great job. He shilled a bit much for me but he did a great job as a color commentator. One thing I find odd is that no one they have used as a color commentator has been a heel commentator. I think D’ Lo would be great as a heel one instead of a face commentator. Perhaps if D'Lo was the face play-by-play guy for another show I would like it more. CoughSmackDownCough.

 

Grade: B+

 

 

Well another average Heat, so not much more to say. I won’t be doing the recap next week as I live on the WEST SIDE! And Heat doesn’t start until half way through the PPV so Damian is going to do it as part of the King of the Ring rant. I will see you all the following week.

 

 

If you have any praise and/or hate mail send it here.

 

Also check out more rants from myself, Dr. Tom and others on Rantsfromgod.com.