The Week in Review - June 9th 2002

[Guest TSMAdmin]

Well, well, well...You’re back, I’m so proud of you.

 

As Byron said earlier this week, its been a pretty slow news week. However, that won’t stop Dames from bringing you the TOP 5 NEWS ITEMS OF THE WEEK! Before I do, I’d like to debut a new feature to the Week in Review...

 

The Most Worthless News Item of the Week!

 

The Rock & Britney Spears hosted the pre-event show for the Lennox Lewis-Mike Tyson “fight” last night. Gee, you think that will bring back about a million viewers to WWE? The reason why the word fight is in parenthesis is because when I consider a fight to be two people going at it, not one guy going at it while the other just continues to eat punches.

 

No more stalling...to the Top 5!

 

(For the record, I lost my original draft when my computer crashed in the middle of it...damn Gateway to Hell. An hour and a half of writing...for nothing, I could have watched Heat)

 

5. NWA: TNA...1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Backwards.

 

What a difference a week makes. Last week, I was quite optimistic of the quality of wrestling that we would get from NWA: TNA, especially since I’m reviewing the shows for the site (cheap plug!). This week however, due to some more NWA: TNA dealings, I’m not looking forward to the show as much. First, lets review the good news, just so I can prolong your pain.

 

Steve Corino, the King of Old School, has finally found a home with NWA: TNA. Ever since ECW went under, he’s been doing tours of Japan with the Zero-One promotion, acting as a color commentator for Ring of Honor and scarcely performing at indy shows. Now he’s back with the NWA, a promotion where he was their world champion for a period of time. He’s a decent worker who is proficient with his work on the mic skills and bleeding. I don’t know if that second part is a compliment or not. Hopefully, if they let him go all out on the mic and give him some ample time in the ring, he may be one of the promotions top wrestlers not named Jarrett.

 

OK, that’s enough for the good news!

 

Rick Steiner has signed with NWA: TNA as well. This guy hasn’t been a draw in years, ever since Scott took his half of the roids and went solo. His shitty in ring work and the second worst catchphrase of all time isn’t going to do anything but make me want to change the channel. To say he has “name value” is like saying that Barry Horowitz should be any indy promotions champion just because he was on WWE TV for years.

 

Also, there’s going to be a 10-girl “Lingerie Battle Royal” at their first event next Wednesday for the title of Miss TNA. Oh, I get it...pun intended. So far the only women announced are Francine, of ECW fame, the former Ryan Shamrock and Bobcat, former WWE Hardcore champion & indy valet. If you don’t remember her reign, she was the Godfather’s Ho that won the Hardcore title from Crash during the “good ol’ days” of the 24/7 rule.

 

Some may think that this is a positive, but in my opinion (because that’s what counts in this column, dammit), NWA: TNA should be trying to be different from WWE, not emulate them. An all-female battle royal is something that hasn’t been done in a long time though. What is it with NWA and battle royals anyway?

 

So, why does this affect the wrestling business? If they want to be the number 2 promotion in the US, they’ll need to get viewers to pay $9.95 and unoriginal idea & Rick Steiner just aren’t going to get viewers to fork over the money.

 

Moving right along, to steal Goodhart’s catchphrase...

 

4. Tough Enough 2: They’re Everywhere!

 

Last week, in this very column, I stated that Nidia was probably feeling the pressure to get on WWE TV with the 2 winners of TE being female. Not only was she on TV, but so were Linda & Jackie!

 

The Hurricane’s stalker was revealed on Smackdown to be a love scorned Nidia, who apparently had a relationship with Gregory Helms. After having been Hurri-heartbroken, Nidia decided to tell Hurricane that her new boyfriend was going to come after him and take his Cruiserweight title. Jamie Knoble (Jamie-san of the Jung Dragons in WCW) then attacked from behind. Nidia did a great job in her promo, conveying anger, pain acting vengeful and slobbering all over Knoble like that trailer trash couple from Saturday Night Live. Although I felt that Taylor should have won Tough Enough, I don’t think she could have pulled out that kind of a promo.

 

Linda & Jackie introduced themselves to Vince McMahon on Smackdown and Ivory took exception for some reason. This set up a match on Velocity between Linda & Ivory where Jackie turned on Linda and now we have our first Tough Enough storyline.

 

I wonder how Nidia must feel, with Linda having a promo AND a match on WWE TV within 5 days of being with the company. I can definitely see some more TE-based storylines on the way.

 

Also, on Confidential last night, the other contestants, aka the Tough Enough Losers, Jake & Kenny called in. Mean Gene was with “Big” John from the show and he explained that WWE felt that they chose the best 2 people. Jake, after last week shooting himself in both feet, legs & arms, proceeded to just end his chances with WWE. Mean Gene asked him if he would do it all over again and Jake said “not if I knew they were going to choose 2 women”. I guess the guy just doesn’t get the explanation that WWE didn’t realize they were going to choose 2 women ‘til the shows finale. Kenny, on the other hand, while sounding bitter, put over the two girls although he feels that he was the best in the ring.

 

On a side note, Tough Enough 2’s Pete competed against an alarmingly overweight Chris Candido this past weekend. It’s a shame, his wife is added to all things crack and now he’s addicted to all things made out of dough.

 

So, why is all of this so important? New faces is what WWE needs right now and with Maven being as over as he is and the girls getting so much air time this past week, who knows when Tough Enough will end...

 

3. Edge: Never Gonna Stop...Unless His Shoulder Is Broken.

 

This past week, Edge caught the worst break of his career, literally. After that amazing cage match that he had with Kurt Angle on Smackdown, it turns out the spear off the top rope did some damage to his shoulder. According to the Ross Report, he’s going to seek an MRI and he’ll most likely be out of action for at least a month.

 

It’s a shame whenever anyone is seriously hurt, (except for Hogan, I just wish he’d break everything at once) but when you get hurt in the middle of the biggest push you’ve ever received, it plain ol’ sucks. His pops have been increasing every week and being in the ring with Kurt Angle every night for a month or so certainly won’t hurt. However, not all is lost for the man that reeks of awesomeness.

 

On Thursday, he cut the best promo of his career, stating how much he loved the business and that his plans are to go for the World title when he gets back from his injury. Jericho came to the ring, as Edge was forced to forfeit his King of the Ring Qualifier to him. (Why would Edge want to repeat as KOTR champ anyway??? I understand that Angle wanted to, but that’s part of his gimmick). Jericho gave him a severe beatdown and it looks like we know who Edge will be feuding with when he comes back. Judging from the promo that Edge cut against HHH a few weeks back and it seems like those two will also be crossing paths eventually. Here’s to hoping that Edge doesn’t listen to any of HHH’s advice on how to recover from an injury.

 

Looking back on it, if Edge had lost the hair vs. hair match and then took about a month & a half off, they could have repackaged him in another way, but hindsight is 20/20.

 

Although I’m not an “Edge-head”, I do like the fact that WWE is starting to elevate some midcard talent on both shows. They really need to at this point with the ratings being at their lowest point since 1998 or so.

 

2. Vince issues the “State of the Business Address”.

 

On Byte This, Vince McMahon came on the show and spoke on many topics as WWE has been in a state of constant turmoil ever since January. Which day in question in January depends on who you hear it from, but I believe the 7th is the leading candidate.

 

Vince’s first comment was that WWE is always in a constant state of flux and that’s why it’s so successful. The hyperbole is in full effect during this interview, by the way. Kevin Kelly then asked what the next trend would be to bring in the masses. Vince, who has seemingly been out of touch with the product for quite a while, said that there are many changes coming that that they are going to “wash away their ills & bring some more stars”. I REALLY hope that doesn’t mean Goldberg, but somehow, that’s what I’m sensing.

 

Vince then admitted that Raw hasn’t been up to par with Smackdown. Everyone has felt that way ever since the split but it takes Vince THIS long to admit it? He then calls Austin demanding...I wonder if Vince heard last weeks show because it seems all Austin is demanding is the same thing we all want, some good writing.

 

You are reading this on the Internet. We have a forum on the site where people here exchange ideas all of the time. This site is about .0001 of the Internet. There are other sites out there that offer their opinions about wrestling. Guess what, Vince doesn’t give a shit. He said that he doesn’t care what we say because he doesn’t read it.

 

Let me ask you this. If 20% of wrestling fans are on the Internet and those are your loyal fans because with the ratings dip, you can see that a lot of your fans are leaving...wouldn’t you listen to what your core audience has to say?

 

Apparently, The Rock’s relationship with Hollywood makes Vince happy. I wonder how long that will last.

 

Vince doesn’t like the WWE name as opposed to the WWF, but they are still in appeal and they may win the name back, who knows. Oh, just “F” it.

 

I need a drink listening to this.... Vince is going on about how the older stars want to give the newer stars the rub. Hogan is willing to put people over he says...personally, its too little too late. “Anxious to pass the torch” my ass.

 

Ah, ok, Vince looks down on the Internet, indys & backyard wrestling. Two out of three he should pay more attention to. Sorry Bobby, but hitting your best friend over the head with a light tube won’t get you anywhere except for the emergency room. Drats.

 

My conclusion....it seems Vince is slowly starting to realize there is a problem, but being the omnipotent wrestling guru that he feels he is, he doesn’t know how to solve it and wont. They really need to elevate some people and just be more creative, hotshotting more angles like bringing Goldberg in won’t do anything but piss off your locker room.

 

1. Shawn Michaels is BACK...in the N...W...O.

So, what was it that was said on Confidential for the past 2 weeks? HBK is never coming back? No?

 

Nash re-introduced Shawn on Raw as the newest member of the nWo. He came out, danced like he usually did, posed for a minute or two and that was it. Not one word was said on the mic. The next day, I received a few e-mails from some female friends who are into wrestling asking about Shawn. I guess the ratings ploy has worked. I have a feeling that when he cuts his 20-minute promo tomorrow, it will be one of the highest rated promos in quite some time. I just hope it’s not about how the Lord brought him to the NWO or something. Oh yeah, he’s into God big time right now.

 

Alright, so he’s back, now what to do with him? Will he wrestle? Will he just be a mouthpiece? All indications right now make it seem like he’ll be a mouthpiece for now, but he’ll wrestle eventually, but not full-time. What becomes of the NWO? That, to me is the big question as it seems Booker T’s storyline face turn is now in jeopardy. HBK joining the NWO only makes them a face to most viewers because he’s been away for so long. Booker leaving the NWO now would be pretty meaningless. I think his best way to go is to win the King of the Ring.

 

Shawn Michaels has never been one to play second banana to anyone. With Nash being the leader of the NWO, how long before they just split all together? Lets face it, the NWO is going to hell...and it should after this latest stint.

 

Here’s another question that you’ve got to think about. Will they get into Vince’s ear again? We got 3 Clique members on Raw (Justin Credible doesn’t count), 1 on Smackdown and 1 in a bar. Ok, so Hall has no say at this point. When those guys were in the company at once, no one was safe. You guys all hate HHH now? What about when HHH’s agenda clashes with Nash/HBK/Xpac? I’m just waiting for Hogan to jump in here and make it a 3 way for political power backstage. Lets make this as WCW as possible.

 

New faces? HA!

 

‘Til next week.... I’m The Dames.

 

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