The Week In Review

[Guest TSMAdmin]

Ahh, the smell of urine. Yep, I’m back home alright. I’ve just arrived from a weekend trip in Connecticut (on the MOST CROWDED TRAIN EVER~!) where I was expanding my vocabulary to include such words as “redonkulous” and “confuzled”, yet learning more effective ways of utilizing the word “strizzy”. It was great to get out of the rain, as the only things I hate more are Hulk Hogan & Scott Hill. It seems the only one happy that I’m home though is my mentally challenged dog who wets himself when he gets a little too excited. Oh, by the way, someone told me that I curse too much in my columns, so I’m going to TRY to restrain myself. Onto the TOP 5 Smart Marks! Wait...wait...not just yet.

 

I just want to say a few things about the new Wrestlemania X8 video game for GameCube. Ever since seeing some still shots of the game a few months ago, I was very excited for the release of this game. Now that I’ve played it, it ranks up there with other disappointments such as Attitude and Warzone for Playstation and N64. The Create A Wrestler feature is horrible, the gameplay is too Smackdown series-like for my tastes and its just lacking in too many categories. Hell, the nWo & Booker T have generic music as well as a few other guys! That’s just pure laziness on the part of THQ. It was so disappointing that one of my closest friends returned the game after 2 days of playing it. To think, I was going to actually buy a GameCube for it too.

 

I’ll admit, I was into it for the first few hours that I played it, but that is to be expected. The only positives are the Hell in a Cell match and the fact that you can reverse Specials. The only one I’ve been able to counter so far is the Stunner, so the controls definitely need some getting used to. I’ll stick to my No Mercy, thank you very much, where I can whip the pants out of all of you. Including David Vona.

 

Ok, NOW you can have your top 5!

 

5. NWA:TNA Debuts “X Title”

 

Every week since this column has debuted, I’ve covered the NWA:TNA’s progression as the number 5 news item of the week. With the way things are going in WWE, this will probably be the last time it’s on the Top 5, for a few weeks anyway.

 

This past week, the Jarrett’s announced the addition of a new title for the promotion, the “X” title. The mildly suggestive name aside, the title supposedly will do away with all weight classes and will simply have “hard hitting, high-flying action”. Basically, it’s a Cruiserweight title featuring high spots galore! With some of the indy guys that they’ve grabbed, the X title may have the kind of competition that people have been clamoring over ever since WWE purchased WCW over a year ago. Yes, I know, here I am being optimistic again about a new promotion. I need SOMETHING to hope for! I’ll never grow taller, I probably won’t ever get back with the girl I love....all I’m asking for is a decent Cruiserweight division on TV!!!!

 

On a side note, Cablevision, my cable provider as well as about 3 million others here in NYC, has decided to take away my hopes and dreams once again. First, by screwing over Bronx residents by not carrying the YES network (WTF!!!???) and now, by not carrying NWA:TNA. Have a great cruiser division guys....I’ll never get to see it! DAMN YOU CABLEVISION! How can you live in the Bronx and not see the Yankees!? UGH!!! I can’t even recap NWA:TNA for the site now. Thanks! I can’t complain though...I haven’t paid for any cable in 5 years! Did I just say that? I meant, I don’t pay the bills, so it’s not my problem...right, that’s it.

 

4. X-Pac’s At It Again

 

HBK’s back for ONE WEEK and it seems like the Kliq is back to their old ways. X-Pac, perennial annoyance to the wrestling world, complained about having to work Heat last Monday because he didn’t want to work twice. He was so over the top with his whining and crying that management eventually gave in and wrote him off the show. WWE has had a really bad week when it comes to talent/management relations and allowing X-Pac to get his way, especially after the other events that occurred on Monday night, is so WCW-like in their ways that it absolutely scares me. Hogan, HHH/Steph & the Kliq all in WWE, all trying to get into Vince’s ear? Vince needs to clear out his locker room problems, pronto.

 

The situation is made to look even worse on Tuesday, when both Hardcore Holly & Kurt Angle work both the Smackdown tapings & the Velocity tapings. Funny thing is, the reason WWE wanted X-Pac to be on Heat to begin with was to add some “star power” to the show. X-Pac was right on not working Heat then, because he’s definitely not a star.

 

3. King Of The Ring Brackets Announced

 

We are a week removed from the annual King of the Ring tournament that will air on PPV across the country (INCLUDING Cablevision, which I WILL cover on the site) and the brackets were updated on Smackdown. The Brackets are as follows:

 

The winner of RVD vs. X-Pac meets the winner of Jericho vs. Valbowski.

 

The winner of Hardcore Holly vs. Test meets the winner of Brock Lesnar vs. Booker T.

 

Seeing as how this year, only the semi-finals and the finals will be on PPV, these quarterfinal matches will happen this week. I’d like to think it’s a lock for RVD and Jericho to meet at the PPV, but WWE have made some really poor tournament decisions in the past. King Mabel....King Ass...Hell, we almost had King Rikishi two years ago! The second bracket is the one that interests me the most, however because two of the favorites will meet in the first round. Brock vs. Booker T. As much as I want Booker T to be this years King, with Brock’s actions last week & WWE’s desire to elevate him, I doubt they’ll allow his winning streak to be broken in the first round of a tournament that’s not even on PPV. The winner of this bracket most likely will win the whole thing, in my opinion, so if Brock wins the match, he’ll face Holly to make each match face vs. heel, and the same thing if Booker advances, although I highly doubt it. The way WWE is going these days though, get used to King X-Pac, because we all know that he’s over!

 

Speaking of over...

 

2. The Split...Is Over??

 

Monday sure was a weird night last week. Due to the Austin walkout, which will be covered in a moment, the entire Raw program had to be re-written at the last minute. Vince McMahon, who wasn’t planning on wrestling, ended up challenging and defeating Raw brand owner Ric Flair to regain 100% control of WWE. With Vince now owning the entire company in the storylines, why wouldn’t he combine both rosters again?

 

Most people believe that the split is definitely over, due to a sharp decline in the ratings. This will most likely end up as another one of WWE’s angles in the past year that has failed miserably. I was actually starting to enjoy the split in all honesty, because it didn’t allow overexposure of the main eventers & midcarders and some guys were being elevated. At least the tag division may get some new, much needed life out of it.

 

Remember people, this means twice the HHH, twice the Hogan (mother*&!#$#!!!$!!$), and twice the Rikishi. Yes, I know he’s not a main eventer, but it still means we have to see his cottage cheese ass one more time a week and I don’t like it!

 

*That reminds me. I reported last week on Edge’s shoulder injury that would keep him out of action for a while. It turns out he doesn’t need surgery so Operation Push Edge Down Our Throats Until He’s Over will resume in about 4-6 weeks.*

 

Usually, something major like the end of the split would be the top news story of the month, let alone the week. It would take a special occurrence in the wrestling world to top this, let alone shatter every other news story in the past year.

 

1. Austin & WWE Part Ways!

 

Like I said, Monday night was a weird one. Apparently unhappy with his character and the fact that he was asked to job to Brock Lesnar on Raw, Stone Cold Steve Austin, one of WWE’s biggest stars ever, booked himself a flight home for himself and his wife Debra and walked out on WWE. This is the second time that he’s done this since Wrestlemania and it appears that the relationship between Austin and WWE is over...but most of you knew that already.

 

Everyone seems to have an opinion on this matter, as it seems to have raised more controversy and discussion since Survivor Series ’97 on whether or not this is a work or a shoot. Of those who believe its a shoot, there are many people who are pro-Austin, who believe that he shouldn’t have had to job to an unproven talent like Lesnar and blow a potentially huge money match down the line. There is an overwhelming amount of people who believe that Austin not only did the wrong thing, but also should be terminated from WWE completely, Dr. Tom being one of them as you can read Here.

 

WWE will not outright terminate Austin, for fear that NWA:TNA will scoop them up and actually become competition. If WWE can pay TE2’s Jake $1000 to not wrestle anywhere for 6 months, then they aren’t going to let Austin go. However, with that being said, this situation appears to be a shoot and WWE management does not appear to be giving into Austin.

 

Last night, on Confidential, Vince McMahon & Austin’s close friend, Jim Ross discussed the events on Monday night and pretty much stated that Austin is NOT welcome in WWE anytime soon. His actions were unprofessional and they are saddened that he would take such action without addressing management first. They kept assuring the viewers that this situation was very real and not a work. JR also stated that he believes Austin was having some personal demons that he needs to work through, but this was not the way to do it.

 

I’ve been asked a few times on my opinion in the entire matter. I’ve always been the first to say that if I was the owner of a wrestling company and someone refused to job, I’d fire them. Walking out is so much worse that it definitely merits an outright ban from ever working with that person again. However, Austin was the man that helped WWE defeat WCW and ushered in the era of Attitude. He drew more money for the company that even Hulk Hogan. That is when everything became clear to me. Just like Hogan, Austin was given everything, including the credit for making wrestling what it is today and both men have milked it for what its worth. Austin is now doing the exact same thing that Hogan & others did to him in WCW, cut potential moneymakers off at the legs. I despise Hogan for his actions and although Austin is 100x better than Hogan in the ring, his actions are just unacceptable.

 

If they can work out some sort of a deal, Austin & WWE can definitely use this as a huge money making angle for them down the line. WWE, however, is not backing down at this point and it doesn’t seem like the two sides will anytime soon.

 

BREAKING NEWS

 

Will this story get any worse!? Last night, police were called in due to a domestic disturbance at the Austin residence. It seems that Austin beat on Debra and drove off and has not returned home.

 

I’m not sure whether or not WWE will fire Austin now but at the rate he is going, Austin is self-destructing and WWE should probably cut all ties with the Texas Rattlesnake. I think its safe to say that this situation is definitely a shoot and even if acting totally unprofessional was bad enough, to beat your wife is just disgusting and I hope Austin never comes back. *&^! You Austin.

 

Remember, I’m recapping King of the Ring next week, so until then, take care!

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez.

 

Thoughts, questions, comments? Please send any hate mail, marriage proposals, dog purchasing offers & No Mercy challenges Here.