The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Unforgiven 2002

[Guest TSMAdmin]

WWE Unforgiven 2002

 

 

It’s been a while, but I’m finally back to bring you what you’ve been waiting for. For those of you who are unaware, I haven’t reviewed any NWA:TNA shows since Week 10 because my good friend Jose Suazo is back in college upstate, so I don’t have access to TNA until October 2nd, when Cablevision gets their act together.

 

In the meantime, I’ve been keeping myself busy by nearly dying of bronchitis, watching the Sopranos, the best show I’ve ever seen: 24 and embarrassing myself on a few dates. Not to worry anymore because WWE Unforgiven...is tonight!

 

Live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

 

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero from Heat.

 

Match Background: Rey Mysterio’s first televised WWE match was against Chavo Guerrero, which Rey won. Now on a roll, a former Cruiserweight champion, Chavo wants to take out the most prominent member of WWE’s Cruiserweight division.

 

The Match: It’s 7:45 so it looks like they’ll get enough time to make this one work. Some chain wrestling to start as the crowd chants “Chavo sucks” and he eggs them on like a good heel. Some fast paced lucha and of course, Rey gets an armdrag. Chavo tries to work on the midsection of the tiny Mysterio but gets thrown to the outside. Rey with a baseball slide into a head scissors on the outside! Rey goes off the top but gets a dropkick to the midsection on the way down. Chavo in control while Cole and Tazz talk Cruiserweights being exclusive to Smackdown and Velocity (they’re making an exception tonight for Heat). Abdominal stretch by Chavo and he’s learned from Uncle Eddie as he tries to CHEAT~! Cole and Tazz put over Chavo’s Arn Anderson-like attack on a specific bodypart. This is why they’re better than Ross and Lawler today. Rey counters a powerslam into a pinfall for two! Chavo with Rey on the top turnbuckle now and he’s trying to take off the mask, as Cole and Tazz talk about the pride luchadores have about their masks. Guys, I REALLY want to believe you but when you know that Rey was unmasked three years ago and stayed that way until he came to WWE, I just don’t care if he’s unmasked again. Good try though. Rey elbows out of the un-masking attempt and hits a beautiful moonsault onto Chavo for two. Chavo on the outside now and Rey springboards at him, knocking him down and popping the crowd. Back in, Rey goes for the Super Sunset Flip powerbomb (a move done on Pay Per View FIRST by The Amazing Red a few weeks ago on NWA:TNA) but Chavo counters by ramming Rey into the corner before he can finish the move off. Vicious Mexican backbreaker by Chavo for another two count. Rey with a wheel kick to set up the 619! West Coast Pop (springboard ‘rana with pin) by Rey for the win.

 

My Opinion: Decent match between the two, although they’ve worked a lot better with each other in the past. I can’t wait for a Rey-Eddie match. This was about ** to me.

 

PPV Start: The video montage for this PPV hypes the two World title matches, putting over the World title’s lineage with shots of previous champions such as Harley Race, Jack Brisco, Dusty Rhodes, Vader, Hogan.....and Goldberg. Ugh.

 

The UnAmericans vs. Booker T, Goldust, Kane and Bubba Ray Dudley

 

Match Background: UnAmericans (and don’t forget Tag Team Champions) Lance Storm and Christian have had issues with Booker T and Goldust for weeks. When Test wanted to burn the flag in Madison Square Garden, Kane made his return to make it three on three. After Bradshaw was injured the same week that William Regal joined the UnAmericans, Bubba Ray Dudley joined the fray against them and Booker T challenged them to this 8 man tag team match tonight.

 

The Match: The entrances take long enough as every member on the face team has their own entrance along with their respective pyro. I really don’t like the lyrics in Kane’s music...it just doesn’t feel like it should be there. Ross points out at the start of the match up that all 4 UnAmericans are former IC title holders. Goldust with Christian to start, Lance Storm in to help Christian and Bubba in as well. Both Bubba and Goldy do the whole Bionic Elbow sequence that Bubba’s been doing for the past few months simultaneously. Lance with Bubba now, talking smack in the corner. Bubba tries to put Storm on the top turnbuckle but ends up dropping him ON HIS HEAD. Bubba takes the visibly shaken Storm and puts him up there this time to hang him for the Tree of Woe. Hard chops and Storm really needs to tag out, he looks out of it. “Regal sucks” chant but he’s not even in the ring. Test in the ring with Goldust now, tearing shit up in the corner. Booker T in now and Ross says that he’s the youngest of 7 kids and grew up without a father. Then what the hell was that promo about a few weeks ago when Booker kept rambling about what his father told him growing up? Bubba and Booker T combine forces for the Whazzup headbutt on Regal. Bubba tells Booker to get the tables....I can understand Spike and Trish, but Booker shouldn’t have to take that! As The Book is putting the table in, Christian and Storm dropkick it back into Booker’s face. You see why you shouldn’t listen to Bubba? Test with Booker now and he’s upped his workrate about 10mph tonight. He’s really earning his PPV bonus. Regal in now with a Uranage suplex (Rockbottom position then throw him over your head) and Ross calls it a “nice slam”. Booker in trouble for a while but gets a corner roll up for two on Christian. Spinebuster by Mr. 5 Time WCW Champion and he makes the hot tag to Kane who starts cleaning house like his name was Martha Stewart. All 8 men in the ring now and Test MUSCLES Kane up into the pumphandle slam! Booker in now and gives Test the scissors kick so quick it didn’t allow the receiver to look as stupid as they usually do waiting hours for it. SPINAROONIE~! with extra PPV rotations! As Booker stands up to celebrate, Christian gets a reverse DDT on him. Kane with a chokeslam attempt on Xian, countered by Storm who gives Kane the best Superkick in WWE today for two. Bubba in now, with the Bubba Bomb on Christian before he’s taken care of by Regal. Goldust with the Shattered Dreams kick in the corner on Christian. He turns around to get the BIG ABOOT~! by Test! Test turns around and eats a top rope clothesline by Kane. Storm tries to Superkick Kane again but Kane is like “NO POBO!” and gives him a chokeslam for the three!

 

My Opinion: REALLY hot crowd for the opener. Better than expected. Match did its job. Lots of great false finishes....**3/4.

 

In the back, Steph gives a pep talk to Billy and Chuck. I truly hope that if Billy and Chuck lose, Lawler’s not commentating.

 

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair for the WWE Intercontinental Title

 

Match Background: Last month at SummerSlam, Ric Flair defeated Chris Jericho clean with the figure four and Y2J hasn’t gotten over it. Once he won the Intercontinental Title on Monday, he asked “EB” Eric Bischoff to make the match at Unforgiven between himself and The Nature Boy to avenge his loss. This time, it’s for the Intercontinental Title. Flair wants this match to prove that he’s still “got it”.

 

The Match: Jericho’s got the FUNNIEST graphic in WWE right now. Its him posing with the IC title imposed on his shoulder....and you can TELL it doesn’t belong there. Oh, I hope that’s on the DVD, but that’s just wishful thinking. Ross points out at the start of the match that Flair has never held the IC title. I don’t think he’s ever tried to win it either. He’d definitely be the oldest IC champ too. Flair with some chops and goes for the Figure-Four early, but Jericho counters it. Springboard dropkick to Flair on the apron by Jericho. Missile dropkick by Y2J for two. Flair with some LOUD chops on Jericho. Flair whipped to the corner now....FLAIR FLIP~! He hasn’t done that correctly in a few months! Flair back in and he tosses Jericho to the outside. Back in now....Flair positions Jericho in the ring on his side, climbs to the second rope and hits the knee drop! I’ve never seen that out of Flair! Jericho whipped to the corner, but catches himself on the second rope. Flair catches HIM and drives his leg down on the canvas. The Nature Boy goes for the Figure Four again but gets rolled up for two. Jericho goes for the Lionsault but lands on his feet.....and collapses. His knee is hurt and Flair is hesistant to pick him up. Jericho keeps saying that he’s hurt, which obviously means he’s not. Flair cuts him some slack as the trainers are called and he turns his back on Jericho. Acting like a TRUE heel, Jericho stands up and takes the opportunity to put Flair in the Walls of Jericho for the tap out victory!

 

My Opinion: Infinitely better than their SummerSlam match. The match told a nice story as Jericho outsmarted a man who was the “Dirtiest Player of the Game”. The old Flair wouldn’t have cared if his opponent was injured. It looks like this is going to drive Flair over the edge. **1/2.

 

Backstage, Bischoff gives a pep talk to Rosey and Jamal and lets them know that Rico will be in their corner. He knows them “inside and out”.

 

Oh look, Shaq is in the audience. He’s no Dustin Diamond though.

 

Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero

 

Will Latino Heat finally make Edge pay?

 

Match Background: Last month, Edge defeated Eddie Guerrero in a good match up. Since then, they have faced each other a few times in various tag matches, the most prominent a tag match between Edge and John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero and his nephew, Chavo. In that match, Eddie wanted to get revenge for a Stinkface that Edge made him go through the previous week at the hands of Rikishi. After coercing Chavo to drop his tights, he attempted to make Edge feel a Stinkface of his own......but Edge turned the tables and made Eddie get a Stinkface at the hands of his own nephew. The next week, Guerrero finally got to extract some revenge on Edge by busting him open with a chair after a tag match.

 

The Match: According to Cole and Tazz, Edge suffered a mild concussion on Smackdown and may still be feeling the effects of it. Wow, what a pop for Edge....I’m surprised. Edge charges Guerrero before the bell rings and Eddie has the ref stall him as the announcers put Eddie over for the veteran move, taking Edge out of his game immediately. As Edge argues with the ref, Eddie sneaks in a quick schoolboy for two. Edge recovers, back body dropping Eddie, giving him a flapjack and making him BUMP OFF A PUNCH~! Oh, how I love that. Crowd chants “Edge” and finds it pretty difficult to say it pretty fast so that stop quickly. Powerslam by Edge for two. Suplex by Edge for two. Guerrero whipped into the corner but Edge eats Eddie’s elbow and gets a Tornado DDT. Edge is selling the head injury, which the announcers immediately recognize. Guerrero smells blood, stomping his head and following up with a brain buster for two. Neck vice by Guerrero now. At least the restholds mean something here. He actually maneuvers Edge’s shoulders to the mat at the same time for a near fall. Edge fights back and seems groggy. Guerrero with a belly to back suplex which Edge sells as a big time blow to the head. I LOVE IT. Front Facelock by Eddie followed by a crossface clasp by Eddie. Guerrero is just being VICIOUS. This move just LOOKS like it hurts as Tazz informs us that Hurt Street is two blocks from Dream Street. Edge fights back, but Eddie gives him a back elbow and Edge sells his head off the bump! Guerrero hops around, stomping and punching Edge a few times as the announcers sell Edge’s lack of equilibrium. Edge with a desperation right hand and Guerrero falls back like a tree. The crowd chants the 10 count along with the ref. Both men up now, Edge charges Guerrero in the corner, but misses and Eddie goes on an offensive flurry with elbows and punches. He HEELS IT UP to the crowd and I’m marking OUT. He stands on Edge’s head as he taunts the crowd. Edge back with two quick roll ups and then hits a neckbreaker.....and SELLS THE HEAD!! He can’t make the cover! Tazz starts describing the effects of a concussion. They are truly the better of the two announce teams. Eddie and Edge back up and now Eddie BUMPS OFF A PUNCH AGAIN~! Atomic Drop by Edge, followed by a face plant, moves that don’t really hurt Edge. Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is really selling grogginess well. Eddie with a jawbreaker. Eddie with his springboard head scissors but its countered into a sitout powerbomb for a CLOSE nearfall! Edge stands up slowly, staggers around (oh, I love it) and puts Eddie on his shoulders. Instead of dropping back, like he usually does (which would hurt him), Edge drops Eddie onto the turnbuckle and goes for the spear! Guerrero sidesteps but gets hit with the Edgecution DDT instead. Edge takes too much time to cover....and Eddie gets his foot on the rope RIGHT BEFORE THE NEARFALL. “EDDIE” chant by the crowd! WOW! Edge to the top now...and misses the missile dropkick. Eddie notices a loose turnbuckle pad and removes it...he whips Edge into the corner but its reversed! Eddie gets it RIGHT in the back....Edge spears him BACK into that same corner! Edge sets Eddie on the top turnbuckle now. Eddie fights back and slams Edge’s face into the exposed turnbuckle! Sunset Flip powerbomb off the top! Edge lands RIGHT ON HIS HEAD! 1......2.......3!!!!!!!

 

My Opinion: Whoever pulled Edge aside and taught him the art of selling deserves a bump in pay. He sold the concussion and head injury to a tee and this match exceeded my expectations. I’ve NEVER cared for Edge, but he really held his own. I didn’t expect Eddie to win clean because heels NEVER win rematches, but I’m glad he did because that means we’ll probably see more of these two. I wish the match had gone a little longer. One of the best matches I’ve seen all year. ****

 

In the back, HHH walks into the Raw locker room to confront RVD one last time before their match. In the background is the defeated Flair as HHH runs down RVD’s lack of desire. HHH tells him that he shouldn’t be hanging out with a loser like Flair who lost his edge. As Flair stands up to those comments, RVD says that he’s rather hang out with a “so called loser like Ric Flair than a winner like YOU anyday”. Yeah, Rob. Flair looks at him with an expression that reads....”um, that didn’t SOUND like a compliment”.

 

Recap of the Wedding and Women’s Protest angle’s from Smackdown and Raw.

 

Rosey and Jamal/w Rico. vs. Billy and Chuck

 

Seeing Stephanie’s bare ass...or seeing her with another woman....hmm?? Where do my allegiances lie!

 

Match Background: For about two months now, Rosey and Jamal have been Eric Bischoff’s goons, eliminating anyone Bischoff wanted at the sound of “3 minutes”. When Smackdown promoted a gay wedding between Billy and Chuck, Bischoff infiltrated Smackdown by disguising himself as a Justice of the Peace in a plot with Rico. Billy and Chuck confessed that they weren’t gay before they could be “pronounced” married and then Bischoff undisguised and had Rosey and Jamal attack B&C and Stephanie McMahon. This was all a plot orchestrated by Bischoff and Billy and Chuck’s stylist, Rico.

 

The following Monday, Stephanie struck back, disguising herself as part of a women’s protest and having Billy and Chuck attacking Bischoff. Bischoff then challenged Stephanie to an Interpromotional match up, Billy and Chuck vs. Rosey and Jamal with certain stipulations attached. If Billy and Chuck win, Bischoff has to kiss Stephanie McMahon’s ass ala William Regal. If Rosey and Jamal win, Stephanie must perform some Hot....Lesbian....Action for Bischoff. Keep in mind.....this is Rosey and Jamal’s first match.

 

The Match: Rosie and Jamal’s music starts with Bischoff saying “Did I just say....3 minutes?” Cole calls them “Equal Opportunity Ass Kickers”. B&C get a very small pop when they make their entrance, sans robes. Some brawling to start as Chuck and Rosey (worst wrestling name out there right now) are in the ring. Rico immediately gets involved nailing Chuck in the head with a side kick. Chuck doesn’t even bump off of it, he just falls on his ass. Oh God, the Island Boyz are former football players. Well, I’ll mute the TV when they wrestle on Raw. So far, they haven’t shown me anything special. Jamal with a field goal kick to the side of the head of Chuck. Cole just said they are from Sunnydale, CA. I thought that was a fictional town from Buffy the Vampire Slayer...By the way, Cole and Tazz are calling this interpromotional match. My guess is that is that its their turn seeing as how Ross and Lawler called the interpromotional match from last month, RVD/Benoit. Rosey with a headbutt on Chuck. Double headbutt now, of course, because they’re Samoan. A combo chant of “Rico’s gay” and “Rico sucks”. Second rope moonsault by Rosey! The announcers are firmly on B&C’s side. Billy now in and he cleans house for a few seconds, with Jamal doing the Samoan twisting clothesline bump that Rikishi does all the time now. Double noggin knocker by Gunn backfires as they’re SAMOAN and it DOESN’T WORK ON THEM. Jamal on the top rope now getting ready for the big splash, but Chuck tosses him off! Billy with a One and Only attempt on Rosie but thats turned into a full nelson twisting face plant. As Rosie turns around, he gets NAILED with the Second best superkick in WWE, Chuck Palumbo’s Jungle Kick. Jamal with a pretty bad one of his own and Jamal lifts Billy into the air for the samoan drop, but Gunn turns it into the FameAsser! Rico in and Billy clotheslines the hell out of him and throws him out. Billy turns around.....and Jamal with the Samoan Drop for the three count! Oh boy...The crowd pops knowing what’s coming....and they start chanting “HLA”. Seems that the stips will be honoured later on tonight.

 

My Opinion: The Island Boyz are a welcome addition to the floundering Tag Team division, but they haven’t shown me anything special yet, aside from one moonsault. Oh, and their Super Samoan Headbutting Powers. Chuck and Billy were on their game tonight though. Now lets see how Steph gets out of this one. I really hope they don’t cop out, but because the Gods hate me, they will. *3/4

 

In the back, Bischoff celebrates and has three BANGIN women with him in the back. The one in the pink is my favorite. The girls chanting “HLA” just makes me want to shake my head.

 

Oh god, Lawler’s chanting. PLEASE shut him up now. Hey, he likes my girl. She’s MINE!

 

HHH vs. RVD for the World Heavyweight Title.

 

Does RVD have a chance in hell to defeat Triple H for his title?

 

Match Background: After Brock Lesnar took his title to Smackdown, it left Raw without any World Championship contenders. Eric Bischoff then took it upon himself to take the Big Gold Belt and award it to Triple H, who was the number one contender for Brock’s title before he jumped, naming Triple H the World Champion and “disputing” the undisputed title after only 8 months of having the titles unified.

 

That night, in a tag match, Triple H was pinned by Rob Van Dam. The next week, RVD defeated Chris Jericho, Jeff Hardy and The Big Show to become the number one contender for Triple H’s title. Last week on Raw, RVD got into a verbal and physical confrontation with Triple H at the beginning of the show. Triple H tried to extract revenge later on that night as RVD lost his Intercontinental title to Chris Jericho. Before and after Triple H’s title match, RVD attacked Triple H and the match....is on.

 

The Match: HHH and RVD start with a side headlock takeover countered into a head scissors, break and then do it again. RVD poses....and I hear a mix of boos in there. Both men on the ropes....clean break by HHH, then a shove, answered back with a nonchalant slap by RVD which bothers HHH. Lawler with a veiled pot reference, asking Ross if RVD’s father was either Cheech or Chong. Another break and HHH paces on the outside, frustrated by RVD. While on the outside, RVD takes a bottle of water and imitates his water spitting in the ring....HI-larious! This infuriates HHH and he charges RVD, burying knees into RVD’s midsection. Corner rollup by RVD for a two. HHH powers out of a backslide attempt, but gets caught with a leg sweep by RVD. Spin kick to the face and HHH goes to the outside. HHH sidesteps a somersault plancha as RVD crashes and burns. Earl Hebner begins the 10 count and at 9, RVD grabs the rope......QUITE lenient there. He should have been counted out. They brawl for a bit and it seems like this match is going in slow mo. They brawl near Cole and Tazz before coming back in. HHH hits the high knee for two. HHH goes to the top(?) and gets thrown off by RVD, ala Ric Flair. HHH puts a sleeper on RVD. Lawler: “Nobody’s used this in years”. He really DOESNT watch the ring! RVD gets out and hits a wheel kick on RVD. Step-over wheel kick and the cartwheel moonsault gets two. Monkey flip out of the corner now, kick off the ropes and Rolling Thunder for two. HHH bails to the outside, but RVD comes at him with a pescado. Back in now, RVD hits another kick off the top for two. HHH charges RVD, but Van Dam leapfrogs and HHH knocks Hebner to the outside. Earl’s out for a while as HHH attempts the Pedigree. Five Star Frogsplash by RVD by Hebner is still out! What I don’t understand is if you can see that Hebner isn’t getting up....why aren’t anymore officials running down? While RVD checks on Hebner, HHH hits him with a low blow and pulls out the SLEDGEHAMMER. RVD hits him with a wheel kick and HHH is down. Flair runs in and grabs the Sledgehammer. It’s so obvious he’s going to turn. Why? Simple...if he wanted to attack HHH, he wouldn’t wait for him to get up. Naturally, RVD gets up at the same time and Flair nails him with it. Pedigree for the three count....and the win.

 

My Opinion: The match wasn’t that great. It had its moments, but for the most part is was a little slow. It made sense to me why Flair would turn, but it seems that Ross in announcer mode just never “gets” it. Flair turned because HHH is right, he’s lost his edge.....and he’s going to get his edge back. Where does RVD go from here? It didn’t look like a complete burial at least. **

 

In the back, D’Lo Brown and Billy Kidman meet some guy from the Young and the Restless. I’m sure that 95% of the people watching don’t know or CARE who this man is. Apparently, he’s with Dawn Marie. Well, that was a pointless segment. It’s nice to see Dawn on TV though, even if its for 2 seconds.

 

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus for the WWE Women’s Title

 

Match Background: Molly defeated Trish Stratus for the WWE Women’s Title a few months back at King of the Ring. Since then, they’ve encountered each other in various intergender tag matches. This women’s title match was announced this past week with little to no fanfare.

 

The Match: Ross puts over Trish’s work ethic and I have to agree with him. She could have been another Stacy or Torrie and just been eye candy. Some quick roll ups for two counts by both women. Even Lawler puts over Trish’s skills, but then goes off on Molly’s virginity again. Thankfully, he seems rather subdued tonight. Some brawling on the outside...back in the ring, Molly with a straightjacket stretch. Its countered by Trish, but Molly dropkicks her in the head. Trish gets a bulldog for two. Kawada kick for two. Trish charges Molly in the corner but gets kicked right in the chest. Molly on the top now, but gets crotched. Trish goes for her handstand leg scissors, but Molly turns that into a Tree of Woe! She does the handspring elbow onto Trish in that position. Irish whip now and Trish gets a bulldog out of a wheel barrow position for the three count and the women’s title.

 

After the match, Trish is emotional as she’s interviewed by the Coach.

 

My Opinion: *1/2 Trish really has improved by leaps and bounds, but women’s wrestling will never be taken seriously in WWE. If they don’t care, why should we?

 

Oh, GREAT promo for next months No Mercy PPV as Pete Rose turns down all trick-or-treat-ers (who are all imitating some WWE superstar) on Halloween. The last one is the real Kane and he attacks Rose, rekindling the “feud” from Wrestlemania’s past.

 

In the back, Rico, Rosey and Jamal go out on the town with a bunch of women sent by Bischoff....including my honey in the pink. Damn. Hey, I thought Rico was gay. Bischoff asks two women to stay though, for the HLA with Steph later.

 

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

 

Can this match live up to the expectations?

 

Match Background: These two men had some great matches last year at Wrestlemania, Backlash and Judgement Day and the infamous Raw cage match. Since then, Angle went on to become WWE Champion again while Benoit was out for a year with a neck injury, with Angle incorporating Benoit’s multiple German suplexes to his arsenal.

 

Since Benoit’s return, Angle and Benoit were in a few tag matches together, one against Rikishi. Rikishi ended up giving Angle the Stinkface as Benoit laughed at his unfortunate partner. Taking exception to it, they began brawling. The following week, Angle held Benoit down to make sure that he endured a Stinkface at the hands of Rikishi as well. Benoit then asked Stephanie to make the match that could be WWE’s best match of the year so far. Both men are very capable of having **** matches and we should be in for a technical treat tonight.

 

The Match: Both men lock up, falling to the outside immediately. Back in the ring, some amateur, chain wrestling before Benoit hooks on the Crossface and Angle gets the ropes before he can lock it in. They lock up again, with some more chain wrestling, this time Angle getting the Anklelock before Benoit makes it to the ropes. Stalemate so far. Some more chain wrestling, reversing hammerlocks and arm wringers. Benoit with a roll up, reversed by Angle....and they go through about 6 pinfalls attempts and reversals in a matter of seconds. Benoit gets the Crossface, but Angle makes it to the ropes. The crowd pops louder with every break, just like at Wrestlemania 17. Some more chain wrestling before Angle throws Benoit to the outside in frustration. There’s a fight in the crowd, so they go to a unique rest hold. Stupid crowd, PAY ATTENTION! Angle with shoulder tackles in the gut, but the last time, Benoit moves out of the way and Angle rams his shoulder into the ringpost. Benoit posts Angle’s shoulder again. TEXTBOOK belly to back suplex by Benoit. Clubbing blow to the shoulder by Benoit, followed by a clothesline. Angle attempts a belly to belly, but Benoit tries to block it. Angle with some knees to the midsection of his own and gets it! Both men down and the crowd chants the count along with the ref, so you know they’re into it. Benoit with 2 rolling German suplexes, Angle reverses and hits two of his own! Benoit blocks and hits another German! Angle blocks and hits ANOTHER German! Two more! Both men down....and the crowd claps in respect and appreciation. Angle with an Angle Slam attempt, but Benoit counters out of it and hits a release German suplex! Angle landed FACE FIRST. Oh, I’m loving this!! Benoit on the top now...Angle pops up and throws him off the top for two! Oh, I LOVE THAT. Roll up attempt by Benoit countered into the Anklelock! Benoit fights out and goes for a Tombstone. Angle reverses....and Benoit reverses THAT into a shoulder breaker! Thumb across the throat! BENOIT Swandive Headbutt for two! CROSSFACE~! The crowd is making a lot of noise, but its undecipherable. Angle, while IN THE CROSSFACE, puts Benoit in the Anklelock! Benoit reversed BACK into the CROSSFACE~!!! Angle out....ANKLELOCK~!! Benoit looks like he’s gonna tap.....but he gets the ropes! Angle pulls him back....and puts on the CROSSFACE~! Benoit goes for the ropes.....but Angle is pushing the ropes away with his foot!!!! That’s GENIUS! Beniot counters.....goes for a pinfall with the feet on the ropes and gets it!

 

My Opinion: This was a wrestling clinic! NOT ONE punch to the face was thrown. Both guys were evenly matched, the crowd got INTO this one and deservedly so. Best one on one match I’ve seen all year, without a shadow of a DOUBT. If only they had a few more minutes. This match reminded me a lof ot their Wrestlemania 17 encounter and their Ultimate Submission encounter from Backlash. They incorporated the good elements of that match up and combined it to create this masterpiece. With the un-clean finish....we’re going to see more of it and I CANT WAIT. ****1/2. WWE MOTY to date.

 

Interview with Brock in the back, where Heyman states that trying to take the title from Brock, he takes it personally, therefore, Brock makes it personal.

 

Funniest ring announcement ever....”Coming down the aisle...accompanied by THE LESBIANS...Eric Bischoff!” Bischoff introduces the crowd to Peaches..and Cream. Oh, how funny. He tells them to give us a sneak preview...but of course, stops them before they do anything significant. He tells Steph to come down for HLA. Damn, she’s looking good tonight. JR completely no sells Lawler...hahahaha.

 

The girls take their shirts off and then start rubbing Stephanie down. Bischoff tells them to quit the foreplay and get serious, but stops them before the girls kiss Steph. Of course. He dismisses the girls, to a chorus of boos and says that because Stephanie claimed on Smackdown that she might like it...he got the ugliest, most vile lesbian to perform HLA with so that Stephanie can be humiliated. She brings out...this HUGE ugly ass woman and dammit, I can tell its a man. Stephanie makes some funny faces and when the wooly mammoth gets into the ring....Stephanie starts kissing her! The huge lesbo superkicks Bischoff....and I can tell already who it is. Rikishi takes the make up off...to reveal....Rikishi. Stinkface on Bischoff and then Rikishi and Steph dance together.

 

....Rikishi kissed Stephanie. I can’t believe I actually wanted to be Rikishi for a half a second.

 

Now, this whole segment bugged me. Why would Bischoff hire THAT specific woman? He’s not THAT stupid. How did Steph know that he’d call off the other two women? Logic gaps like that I can’t stand.

 

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker for the WWE Title.

 

Can the 12 year veteran unseat the unpinned rookie champion?

 

Match Background: The night after SummerSlam, both The Undertaker and Triple H wanted to be named the number one contender for what was the WWE Undisputed Title. After Brock cost UT the match, Lesnar took a lump sum from Stephanie and became exclusive property of Smackdown. UT then jumped to Smackdown as well and won a number one contender’s match then. The match was on and the mind games began. Heyman, Brock’s second, kept making disparaging remarks about UT’s wife Sara and the fact that she is pregnant, going so far as to stalk her in the locker room. Naturally, UT goes to her rescue only to get attacked from behind by Brock. Lesnar then taunted Sara and her unborn child in a scene that looked like he was Shang Tsung and trying to steal her soul. Since then, the Undertaker isn’t pleased to say the least.

 

The Match: Now Undertaker has lyrics to his music that, just like Kane’s music, doesn’t feel like they belong there. Match starts with UT shoving Brock back....and then Lesnar runs away when UT charges him. They lock up...and UT shoves Lesnar out of the ring, infuriating him and he charges back in. UT clotheslines him back out....and Lesnar is FRUSTRATED. He kicks the ring side steps so hard, they break apart. Back in, UT is firmly in control with flying clotheslines and goes “Old school”. Heyman gets on the apron to distract the ref and UT big boots him down. Lesnar takes the opportunity to ram him into the corner and does it again. Vertical suplex on The Undertaker! Lesnar works on the midsection of UT. UT fights back with some right hands. Powerslam by Lesnar! Bearhug by Lesnar....he really needs to get a new move because this one just puts the crowd to sleep. UT keeps trying to fight out of it, but Lesnar just won’t let go. Finally, UT gets away as Lesnar falls through the ropes. Back in, UT gets some right hands until Lesnar falls out again. On the outside, Lesnar hits UT in the head with the WWE Title. UT has a bit of blood on his forehead. UT comes back with clotheslines in the corner. UT goes for the chokeslam, but Lesnar elbows out of it. Lesnar comes off the ropes and eats a big boot to the face. Snake Eyes by UT and another boot to Lesnar for two. Ref bump and UT gets the Chokeslam....and it seems like UT would have won the title there. Matt Hardy (Version One) comes down....and gets a Last Ride for his troubles. UT turns around and eats a spinebuster for two. Lesnar ducks his head and UT gets a DDT for two. UT signals for the Tombstone...but Lesnar floats over and shoves UT into the ref. Heyman sneaks a chair into Lesnar, but UT blocks the shot and KILLS Brock with a chair shot! The chair is BENT. Another chair shot sends Lesnar to the outside where Lesnar bleeds for the first time in WWE. Barely a trickle of blood though. UT channels the soul of Hogan and hits a big boot/legdrop combo for a close two. That’s just not going to cut it these days, brother. UT goes for the Last Ride, but gets backdropped. Lesnar with the F5! No! UT spins out of it and they start brawling in the corner. Hebner tries to separate them but just gets nailed. Brian Hebner’s parents were Earl and a bullseye. Hebner calls for the bell and the crowd deservedly boos. The Smackdown ref’s come down to separate them, to no avail. They fight up the aisle until UT throws Lesnar through a part of the set in a cool visual as they fade to black.

 

End of PPV.

 

My Opinion: I’m quite disappointed. The only thing I can think of is that these two will have a rematch at No Mercy. If they don’t, then they just made their champion look EXTREMELY weak. If Brock doesn’t eat UT alive at the next PPV, they still made him look weak. Why would you protect the Undertaker? If he jobbed clean, he can ALWAYS get his heat back, dammit. **1/4

 

Overall: The main event usually makes or breaks a PPV in terms of the taste that it leaves in your mouth, so for this one, I’d have to say that it was disappointing. However, the undercard was great with two matches that I absolutely LOVED. The HLA segment was pretty bad and I hope that WWE doesn’t do anymore of those horrible segments. Oh well, time for the SOPRANOS~! baby!

 

‘Til Next Time,

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

 

You know what to do.