Guest TSMAdmin Report post Posted October 3, 2002 This is a very special week, as two amazing things have occurred for the first time. The first is that I got feedback, which I’ll address here, and the second will be addressed later in the column. Now, on to the feedback! This is from fellow site writer Matt aka Incandenza: “In [August 10]'s Velocity recap, about Rico, you said, ‘He has the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand, is the most over heel on the Smackdown! brand...’ Kurt Angle is actually the most over heel, with Rico in second, and Benoit and Guerrero in third. As for your Muta question, I have no idea. I've always wondered why it's called the Shining Wizard, too. Keep up the good work, Ed.” You’re right Matt, I really messed up there. I forgot all about Angle when I made that blanket statement. Thanks for correcting me, and I acknowledge that here. Sometimes when writing a column at 3 in the morning your mind slips on easy stuff like that. Thanks again Matt! And yes, I promise I’ll actually write a music column soon. My second piece of feedback comes from reader Chris: “I think the reason no one replied to the question about the shining wizard, is quite simply, no one has the foggiest. I can't think of a funny nickname for Tajiri either. Worse still... i can't think of an unfunny one either. Bob Holly? Well.. I never saw anything in him really... he seems to work stiff a lot and be placed against up and comers, so maybe they use him to see if the new comers can handle it? If that is his sole reason for being on the roster (well... it looks like it is), and they're happy with that, then ok. But they need to get that damn catchphrase of his off the front of his entrance music... it's awful. Ok, totally pointless email... but hey, it's feedback!” I guess nobody really does know why it’s called the Shining Wizard. I’ll try and do some research and if I get anywhere, I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated. The same goes for Tajiri, although I finally thought of a somewhat clever nickname for him, which will be debuted later in the column. As for Hardcore Holly, I agree that the catchphrase (which he doesn’t even use half the time!) is awful, and that he should be used mainly for working with new guys, which is why I thought it strange that he wasn’t invited to train on Tough Enough 3. Anyway, thanks for writing! Kick it into hyper-drive, it’s time for the WWE’s fastest show, Velocity! Opening Match Rico, “Stylin’ & Profilin’” vs. “The Alabama Android” Hardcore Holly This match was set up last week on Velocity with Rico helping out Marc Loyd, and Hardcore giving both unwanted and unasked for grief for it. Since that took place after the main event, I assumed the match would be the main event, but since I’m not really a big Holly fan it’s not really a big deal. Holly starts this one off my pushing Rico into the corner and delivering a series of knife-edged chops. Rico quickly turns it around and begins to deliver some shots of his own on a corner-bound Holly! Holly, never one to be taken advantage of, turns it around again, this time punching a mudhole and dragging Rico over, where he frantically grabs the top rope. Holly responds with a kick to the abdomen, a clothesline, and a cover for 1…2…Rico kicks out! Rico hits a superkick and a spinning kick and covers for 1…2…Holly kicks out! Rico keeps the pressure going with a couple kicks in the corner, and a jump kick aided by the bottom ropes (shades of Steve Blackman), whips Holly, and catches him in what looks like an arm-drag transitioned to a neckbreaker. Rico goes up top, but Holly recovers and makes sure Rico is crotched… Holly is up, hooks Rico, and SUPERPLEX! After a short bit of recovery time, Holly goes over for the cover and 1…2…Rico kicks out again! Holly and Rico exchange chops, until Holly finally gets the advantage and hits a clothesline and The Best Dropkick in the Business™ for 1…2…Rico kicks out! Holly hits a Gas Mask and goes up, hitting a flying cross-body for 1…2…Rico kicks out again! Holly goes for what looks to be a Sunset Flip, but Rico holds onto the top rope to reverse it. Rico hits another superkick and covers for 1…2…Holly kicks out and ducks another spinning heel kick, only to hit the Alabama Slammmmmmmmma for 1…2…3! And da winnah is… Hardcore Holly, pinfall ** 1/2 A solid opener, but nothing special. I was kind of hoping given all the build-up there’d be more involved with this, but alas, there wasn’t even a missed moonsault (although that’s probably what Rico was going up for)! At least Hardcore had to whip out the Gas Mask to help put away Rico though… yea… so was this really it, or are the Hardcore vignettes (hehe that sounds dirty) going to continue? Although I liked the idea of storylines involving Velocity guys, I think they should try it out with different “b-roster” members, which it looks like they’re doing with tonight’s main event (which was apparently set up by a segment on Smackdown, which I missed this week being out of town). I think now nothing short of divine intervention (no, not a feud with D-Von Dudley!) could get Hardcore over… wh00! COMMERCIALS! Boring (Read: “Hoss”) Match Bull “$#!+” Buchanan vs. “Not Phat, Just Fat” Albert To show that neither man is intimidated by the other, the match begins with a staredown. Oooh… scary! Albert begins with some domination (now THAT’S scary!), catching a kick and turning it into an atomic drop and gorilla pressing Bull, which frightens him so much he leaves the ring for a breather. Already? Bull heads back into the ring and is met by a RIGHT HAND~!, but Bull gets in some shots in the corner. Albert responds with more of those THRILLING RIGHT HANDS~!, then picks up Bull and rams him spine-first into the corner! Albert follows up with a series of shoulder-blocks, but misses a running corner splash. Bull comes back with a neckbreaker, a series of elbow drops, and a cover for 1…ooh! Kick-out! It’s gonna take a lot more than elbows and a neckbreaker to put away a monstrous beast like Albert! Oooh… scary! Bull gets in some more shots to the neck and a choke, but Albert fights his way out. Bull returns the favor by fighting his way out of an attempted suplex, and runs into the corner and dives off the top rope for a clothesline, and chokes Albert on the top rope. Bull gets more shots on Albert in the corner, but Albert reverses a powerbomb attempt, which appears to send Bull over the top rope so he can “skin the cat” for his come back when Albert turns his back. Bull skins that cat all right, but Albert is more than happy to meet him with a bicycle kick for 1…2…kick-out! Albert follows up with several clotheslines, a body slam, and a cover for 1…2…kick-out! Albert hits another clothesline and goes up, but Bull stops the Banzai Drop on the way down with a kick to the chin! Now Bull is the one going up, and although Albert goes up to fight him off, Bull puts some more pressure on his neck, which forces him down, allowing Bull to deliver the Top Rope Leg Drop for 1…2…3! And da winnah is… Bull Buchanan, pinfall *** I’m not really a fan of either men, but this is the best effort from both that I’ve ever seen. Albert not only remembered to sell the neck (for once), but Bull also worked it into the finish, by using it to disable the monster so that he could deliver his finisher and gain the win. I still don’t get why they brought back Bull if they’re just going to put him over jobbers to the midcard, but perhaps they plan on some promo’s and vignettes with him in the future? I’m not exactly sure how they’ll put him over, but if he continues to improve I could conceivably grow to like him. For now I’m just amazed that I actually liked an Albert match. wh00! MORE COMMERCIALS! Recap Angle vs. Rey Rey – the story continues! Wow, I actually need this recap since I haven’t read Dr. Tom’s recap yet and I missed the show. Apparently what happened was a verbal confrontation back-stage that led to Rey Mysterio Jr. attacking Angle after his match with a 619 and Hurricanrana, and Angle locking in the Ankle Lock on Mysterio after his match with Edge against the Guerrero’s for the DQ. Not bad for a last-minute setup, and I’m intrigued by an Angle vs. Rey Mysterio match. Although the first thought that comes to mind is “styles clash”, I also thought that about the recent Benoit vs. RVD match (of which the rematch was also apparently announced this week, but how?) and was pleasantly surprised in that case, so I have high hopes for this one. wh00! STILL MORE COMMERCIALS! Slightly More Interesting (Read: Two Decent Guys Who Nobody Really Cares About) Midcard Match Reverend “Preach On, Brotha!” D-Von vs. John “Sting Who?” Cena D-Von starts us off with heel assertation with some cheap shots from behind at Cena and a series of fore arms in the corner. D-Von whips Cena into the other corner, but Cena leap-frogs over him and hits an arm drag, clothesline, drop-kick and cover for 1…2…kick-out! Nice transition for what would otherwise be a vanilla sequence. Cena comes off the ropes, but D-Von floors him with a clothesline and briefly works the leg before covering for 1…2…kick-out! D-Von stomps a mudhole on Cena in the corner, and locks in a head-lock and punches Cena. Cena comes back with a series of weak-ass elbows, and D-Von is quick to end that with a spinning headbutt, some taunting, and a jawbreaker. D-Von chokes Cena, but Cena recovers and responds with MORE weak-ass elbows. Groan. Cena dodges a punch, and runs off the ropes and hits a cross-body for 1…2…D-Von kicks out again! D-Von hits a clothesline from behind, delivers a scoop slam, and goes up top and taunts for waaaay tooooo looooooong! At least it gets the crowd into a stalling more than a rest hold does. Cena is up, and tosses D-Von off the top and does The Rock’s “blocking punches” sequence, only without the Spit Punch at the end. Thank God for that. Cena dodges another clothesline, and segues a hip toss into a cover for 1…2…kick-out! Cena is whipped into the corner, but hits a boot to the face and a belly to belly suplex and covers for 1…2…D-Von kicks out again! Cena goes for a ten punch, but taunts so much that he only really gets two punches in before D-Von tears him off with a top rope neckbreaker and a cover for 1…2…2.99…kick-out! Well, guess it’s obvious who’s winning now. D-Von goes for another cover, but Cena rolls him up for 1…2…3! And da winnah is… John Cena, pinfall. Post match, D-Von gets his heat back by giving what looks like a Scorpion Death Drop (oh, the irony!) to Cena and delivering a top rope flying headbutt. ** 1/2 Another decent match, but nothing special. D-Von didn’t have Batista accompanying him this week, so I guess something else important happened on Smackdown and the two are being split up. Not sure if that had anything to do with the setup of this match, but if it did, it was for naught. Despite constantly being hailed as “the future of Smackdown”, Cena has yet to truly impress me in the ring or on the mic. He can do it sometimes, like the hip toss into a cover was kinda cool, but consistently, unless in a tag match with the rest of the “future”, he’s pretty bland. Plus, why not let him win with the Proto-Plex again instead of the roll-up? D-Von’s not really going anywhere, it’s OK for him to be beaten without a “fluke”. wh00! EVEN MORE COMMERCIALS! Recap Rock vs. Benoit A quick run through the SummerSlam card precedes the match recap, and it’s actually shaping up to be pretty nice so far. I doubt I’ll have more than two or three matches next week (I didn’t for the Velocity before Vengeance) to cover, so I’ll probably throw in a few cents about the card there. As for the match, Benoit puts in the CrossFace, and Brock comes out to taunt The Rock into tapping out. However, The Rock holds out for an incredibly long time (don’t tell me the Crippler CrossFace will be the next Walls of Jericho or Ankle Lock!), until making the ropes, kipping up, and Rock Bottoming Benoit for the victory. Nice job no-selling the entire match there, Rocky. Now, tell me again how The Rock “puts people over” in the ring? B.S., especially not when his ass is champ! That concludes my sarcastic Rocky-hatred jab for the night/morning. wh00! YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY COMMERCIALS! Main Event “MIST-ifying” Tajiri & The Trailer Trash Twosome vs. “The Unpowerbombable” Billy Kidman w/ Torrie “The Other Other Generic Hot Blonde Chick” Wilson & “The Sho Stopper” Funaki No, it’s not a six-man, but the women folk still came out ahead of the Japanese wrestlers anyway. Go figure. This was also apparently set up on Smackdown, with a segment in which Funaki is an interviewer and Nidia continued her habit of getting a little “too friendly”. FNK starts things off with the cruiserweight champ, and the two lock up, and both struggle in and out of various holds for an advantage, until FNK finally breaks out of a headlock, but Knoble nails him with a shoulder-block. Knoble reverses an FNK arm drag into an arm drag of his own, but a fallen FNK kicks Knoble away, and hits an enzuigiri and tags in Kidman. Kidman is a house o’ fire, with a Hurricanrana, drop kick, and a Fireman’s Carry to Neckbreaker! Knoble whips Kidman into the ropes, and Tajiri sneaks in a kick to Kidman’s back from the apron. With the ref’s back turned, Knoble catches an attempted second Hurricanrana and holds Kidman so Tajiri can slide-kick him in the face and make the blind tag. Tajiri stomps away at Kidman’s neck, then hits a scoop slam and a screaming knee drop for 1…2…Kidman kicks out! Tajiri keeps the pressure going with a snapmare and a sleeper hold. Zzzzzz….. oh sorry, the rest hold’s for THEM! Silly me! Kidman fights his way out, but Tajiri whips him off the ropes and connects with a spinning heel kick and another cover for 1…2…Kidman kicks out again! Tajiri tags Knoble back in, and the two hit a double rib-breaker and double kicks to the head on Kidman. Knoble covers for 1…2…another kick out! Cool double-team spots… have Tajiri and Knoble tagged together before? Knoble stomps the neck and locks in a chinlock, but Kidman fights his way out again, and runs off the ropes, only to be tripped by Nidia grabbing his leg. Torrie returns the favor by distracting Knoble, but when Kidman tries a cheap shot from behind Knoble reverses it into a falling back-drop and tags back in Tajiri. Tajiri goes up but misses the moonsault, allowing Kidman to make the hot (or at least pretty warm) tag to FNK. FNK hits a bull-dog, and knocks Knoble off the apron! FNK gets more pent-up energy out with a backbreaker and cover for 1…2…Tajiri kicks out! Tajiri tries to lock in the Tarantula, but FNK reverses it into a face-buster and covers, but Knoble breaks it up! Knoble runs over and knocks Kidman outside, but as he and Tajiri go for the double clothesline, Kidman pulls Knoble outside as well! Tajiri hits a stiff kick for the cover and 1…2…kick-out! Kidman runs off the ropes, and misses Tajiri, but apparently that was the idea, as FNK launches him up and over the top rope onto poor ol’ Jamie Knoble! FNK dodges another stiff kick, and delivers a German Suplex, bridging it for the pin, but Nidia is distracting the ref. This brings in Torrie for the obligatory cat fight spot (why else were the two brought to ring-side?), allowing FNK to dodge ANOTHER stiff kick and roll-through for a cover and the 1…2…3?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And da winnahs are… FUNAKI and Billy Kidman! *** FUNAKI WON! FUNAKI WON! OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT THE DAY WOULD NEVER COME! First I get feedback, and now one of my favorite jobbers, FNK, finally is allowed a win… could the day get any better? Maybe someone will actually, ya know, buy something from my Amazon wishlist. Anyway, the match itself was good, but not as great as these guys have done with each other in singles competition. For example, there was some attempted psychology on Kidman’s neck, but it never really went anywhere, and although there were some cool double team spots from Knoble & Tajiri, a lot of the match didn’t really seem to flow as well as recent matches I’ve seen from these guys. It was still enjoyable though, and pretty fast-paced (it’s a good thing I don’t do NWA:TNA recaps… I could barely keep up with this “watered down cruiserweight action”, can you imagine how many times I’d have to rewind an X-Title match?). Wow, so Funaki finally pulled in a win. That’s awesome… Funaki is seriously one of my favorites, and a very underrated worker, and this is the first time I’ve EVER seen him get a pinfall. Of course, I’ve only been watching since Feb. 2001, so this week’s Feedback Inducing Question Is: What other wins has Funaki ever had, in America or Japan? Were any of them high-profile? Yea, I hella stalled this week, so instead of the typical 3AM or even 4AM, I finished writing this recap at 5:30AM (!), so forgive the lack of proper outro. Ummm… buy me stuff, to complete this strange week of Velocity column dreams coming true. See you in 7! Edward Robins [email protected] DVDaficionado.com list – Request away! Amazon.com wishlist – Since you’re going to waste your money, why not waste it on me? "To me, bad taste is what entertainment is all about... [just] remember there is such a thing as good bad taste and bad bad taste." – John Waters Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
