WWE Heat Recap: September 1st, 2002

[Guest TSMAdmin]

Before I get started:

 

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If Finland rings a bell to some longstanding WWE fans, it’s because it was the home of early-1990s heel Ludvig Borga. (Helsinki was also one of the ever-changing hometowns of former European champion D’Lo Brown.) But even the ridiculously slim chance of a Borga sighting wasn’t enough to change Tazz’s mind about putting on a happy face for the tour.

 

“A Borga run-in? We could only hope not,” Tazz said. “Business is starting to pick up. I don’t think we need to go back to that.”

 

Anyone else smell a Borga vs. Tazz feud?

 

Ah, I had the privilege of attending this week’s RAW, meaning I was on hand for the Heat tapings. I’ll be throwing in some live notes here and there throughout this recap. Be sure to check out my On Site Report for a full report of RAW at MSG this week. Hey, if you decide to catch the 11 PM repeat, watch out for me and my “KING OF THE WORLD!” sign with an arrow pointing down!

 

Without further adieu…

 

The pyro goes off and it’s time for Heat, this week from The World’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden. Right off the bat, this week’s crowd was nuts, one of the more wild crowds I’ve had the privilege of being a part of.

 

Your announcers are Jonathan Coachman (who got a big pop when he came out, which scared me) and D’Lo Brown (who got crazy pops all night long).

 

Looks like they decided to make Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Stasiak a dark match this week. That sorta disappointed me, I was looking forward to seeing Benjamin’s hilarious new titantron on TV.

 

Anyway, here comes The Bizarre one, Goldust. He got a great reaction from the crowd, and I saw quite a few Goldust signs scattered about. His opponent is… Johnny “The Bull” Stamboli. They played the wrong titantron and music for him at the taping (they played Bull Buchanon’s stuff) so they show a Stamboli promo instead of his entrance. Stamboli talks about the keys to a successful marriage. Apparently, the main key to a successful marriage is “Never introduce your wife to Johnny Stamboli.” Right. Well, that promo was pretty useless if you’re watching on TV, but I guess it did a good enough cover up for the idiocy of the backstage crew. Oh, and we have our first match!

 

Match One: Goldust vs. Johnny “The Bull” Stamboli

They tie up to start. D’Lo and Coach are screaming something in annoying high pitched voices. Stamboli backs the Bizarre one into the corner and argues with the ref. He gives Goldie some stiff kicks to the abdomen, and a suplex. He tries for a big elbow drop, but misses, and Goldust goes to work on Salvatore… err… Johnny with some brawling. Irish Whip by Goldust, and he hits his oh so infamous BUTT bump. Armdrag right into an armbar by Goldust. Stamboli fights out with some right hands and a whip, but Goldust hits him with a forearm. Goldust sets him up for the Curtain Call, but Stamboli elbows out. Kick to the midsection by Stamboli, and he suplexes Goldust to the ropes… sloppily. Goldust landed on his side instead of his stomach. Yeesh, that didn’t look as bad on TV as it did live though. Stamboli goes to work stomping and choking Goldust. Irish Whip by Stamboli, and he military presses him. He drops Goldust across his knee right on the abdomen. Cover! 1…2…kickout by Goldie. Stamboli stomps away some more, and picks Goldust back up. They brawl back and forth, with Goldust getting the advantage with a whip and a kick to the midsection, followed by a vertical suplex. Goldust misses an elbow drop, and Stamboli makes him pay with some stomps and a few elbows of his own for two. Stamboli gets Goldust back up and snapmares him down, right into a sleeper. Goldust eventually brawls out, but gets whipped into the corner. Stamboli knocks him back down with a clothesline to the back of the head for two. Stamboli is frustrated. D’Lo calls that a “rookie mistake.” Don’t ya love how the WWE just erases history?

 

Anyway, Stamboli whips Goldust again, but misses a Dropkick. Goldust rolls him up for two. Hard body slam by Goldust, and its REST TIME. The ref goes for his 10 count. Goldust is back up at 5, and they brawl back and forth. Stamboli goes off the ropes but gets laid out by a Goldust clothesline, and then an atomic drop. Another clothesline from the bizarre one for two. Stamboli whips Goldust, but Goldust drops on his back and delivers his signature uppercut. He sets up for the Curtain Call…. And hits it! 1…2…3! Goldust wins! Goldust gets a good pop for his efforts.

*1/2

 

Video package for the only B-Show feud out there, D’Lo vs. Raven is shown. They shill D’Lo vs. Raven as the main event for tonight. Next is Steven Richards vs. Crash.

 

And now… a word from our sponsors.

 

Side Notes: I’m really starting to dig Steven Richards again for some reason. Hopefully the guy gets more TV time soon, but with the destruction of the Hardcore title, I’m thinking he’ll be relegated to Heat.

 

We’re back, and we’ve got another bone-chilling WWE Rewind. This time we get Kane’s return. Nice to see the big lug back.

 

Richards comes out to a mixed reaction. I was cheering the guy. He got some E-C-Dub chants. Ah, and he’s recycling Kronik’s music! His opponent for tonight is Crash Holly. Crash got a decent pop from the crowd. I could care less.

 

Match Two: Steven Richards vs. Crash Holly

Tieup to start, and Crash gets backed into the corner. Richards gives him a stiff right, and Crash isn’t too happy about that. They trade words, and they criss cross off the ropes. Crash holds onto the top rope, and catches WHACKO Steven Richards off guard with a clothesline and a dropkick. Hiptoss by Crash, and a wristlock. Come on Steven, show this jobber who’s boss! Richards gets whipped into the corner, but gets met with two boots to the face, and an elbow across the jaw. He throws Crash into the corner, and hits him with some knees to the back, followed by some chops. He whips Crash across the ring to the other corner, and gives him another chop. Richards waistlocks Crash with his legs on the ground… ooooh, and throws in a full nelson for good measure. Crash elbows out, but misses his elbow drop. Richards climbs to the top, but Crash punches him and military presses him off the top. They brawl back and forth for a little bit, with Crash getting the advantage with a forearm, and a baaaaaack body drop. Scoop Slam by Crash, and now he heads for the top rope… slowly. He hits a nice Missile Dropkick on Steven, nonetheless for two. He whips Richards into the corner, and tries for his Bulldog. He misses, and Richards hits the Steven Kick. We have a winnah! Steven wins, WOOOO! Short match, but solid.

**1/2

 

More shilling for Raven vs. D’Lo, and for highlights of Dreamer vs. Van Dam from last week’s RAW.

 

Ultra long MTV commercial break time!

 

Time to shill the Hogan DVD! I loved Hogan as a kid, and to tell you the truth, that two disc set looks pretty fucking sweet. Maybe I’ll pick that bad boy up next time I’m at FYE.

 

Oh damn, when I saw that WWE commercial I thought they’d go right into Heat. Guess not… more commercials!

 

Ah, now we’re back, with a shill for WWE.com.

 

Wow, did you ever think you’d be seeing RVD and Dreamer slugging it out on RAW at MSG for the IC title? Amazing how much the wrestling world has changed these past couple of years.

 

RAW Recap: IC/Hardcore Title Unification: RVD vs. Tommy Dreamer

Wooo! The winner of this match gets the WWE’s second richest prize, which also has the history of the European and WCW US titles behind it as well now. Now we’ve got the Hardcore title under its wing.

 

This match was pretty friggin sweet, especially live. It was in MSG, so there were some ECW marks around, who really got into this match. Nice spots with the ladder and the chairs and stuff.

 

I like the thought that there’s now only four belts around. The Hardcore and Euro straps had been pissed on too much to be taken seriously anyway.

 

Good recap of this match (RVD obviously won), they showed much of the actual match.

 

More shilling for Raven vs. D’Lo and Bradshaw vs. Justin Credible which is next. OH JOY!

 

More commercials!

 

Time for the Lugz Boot of the Week. This week it’s the Island Boys beating the hell out of Jimmy Snuka. Again, I don’t see how that’s a boot, but whatever.

 

Here comes the WWE’s Stereotypical Gay puddin eatin Cowboy (TM: South Park), Bradshaw. The crowd went NUTS for Mr. Hoss, as I tried to boo him like crazy. The Human Penis, Justin Credible is his opponent. Credible got a mixed reaction, with some “E-C-DUB!” chants.

 

Match Three: Bradshaw vs. Justin Credible

You can cut my anticipation with a knife for this one, guys! (Note: Extreme sarcasm) Anyway, the hoss and the penis tie up to start off the match. Bradshaw gets Credible in a side Headlock, which he’s whipped out of. He knocks him down with a shoulderblock, and then with an armdrag into an armbar. Bradshaw wants to have more fun though, so he picks him up and body slams him. Justin Hawk misses an elbow drop, and Credible makes him pay with some stomps. He whips Bradshaw, but gets hit with a not so devastating big boot. Snapmare by Bradshaw, and Credible’s left sitting in the upright position, but Bradshaw changes that with an elbow across the back. Bradshaw knocks Credible back down with a club to the back of the neck. He whips Credible, but telegraphs it, and gets hit with a Credible Neckbreaker. Credible whips him, but it gets reversed, so Justin tries for a cross body. Woo, you think by now the whole roster would know never to try a cross body on one half of the New Blackjacks. Bradshaw catches Just Mediocre and hits the Fallaway Slam. He sets Credible up for a powerbomb, which is reversed into a back body drop, but somehow Bradshaw holds on. By now I was pleading for this match to end. Bradshaw hits Credible with some more clubs to the back of the neck and tries for the powerbomb AGAIN. Credible wouldn’t let him do it, but he gets hit with a side suplex for his troubles. Bradshaw whips him and misses a clothesline. Credible knocks Bradshaw on his ass by taking him down by the legs. Credible attacks the knee, nice psychology (too bad Bradshaw doesn’t sell it), but Bradshaw fights it with some brawling. He whips Credible, misses a clothesline, and gets hit with a super kick for two. Whip by Credible, reversal by Credible. Credible freezes and lets everyone know that “HEY, I was the clique’s lackey!” and crotch chops Bradshaw. Bradshaw no like, and he lays him out with the ever-punishing Clothesline from Hell. Thankfully, that one is over.

 

I hope, for Justin’s sake, that Bradshaw doesn’t take him up on his “SUCK IT!” offer.

*

 

Bradshaw poses for the crowd afterward, and gets a good reaction, because being from Texas is COOL!

 

Recap: WWE Stars at Wall Street for the “Smackdown your Vote” constitution tour. Nothing too notable here, folks.

 

D’Lo vs. Raven is next. WAIT! No it isn’t... Triple H hasn’t had a segment on Heat yet! He’s up next, or at least his promo with Lesnar from RAW is.

 

Commercial break time.

 

And… we’re back.

 

RAW Recap: Brock Lesnar and Taker vs. HHH

This bad boy starts off with Lesnar and Heyman’s promo from RAW. When Lesnar came out, he got a HUGE ASS pop. HBK’s music hit, which got a GIGANTIC pop, which died down somewhat when everyone found out it was HHH. I couldn’t hear anything going on during this promo, so I guess now I can hear what they were actually saying. The Deadman came out, and got a huge pop himself. Clips of the number one contender match from RAW is next, which was of course won by HHH. Then Steph stealing Lesnar for SD is shown. End of recap.

 

D’Lo vs. Raven is next. Before the commercials, they show a RAW promo.

 

Match Four: D’Lo Brown vs. Raven

These two finally got to wrestle this week. D’Lo got a HUGE pop from the crowd. Come on guys; promote this guy to RAW! He’s more over than many guys on the RAW roster right now!

 

D’Lo tries to tie up to start, but Raven kicks him right in the stomach, and throws him into the corner. Raven hits him with some right hands and a whip, which is reversed. Raven, slid to the outside. But got hit with a baseball slide and a nice plancha by D’Lo. D’Lo hits some mounted punches on Raven; the crowd is into this one. D’Lo tries to charge at Raven, but his shoulder gets introduced to the post… twice. On the outside, Raven Russian Legsweeps D’Lo into the barricade. Raven goes to work on the arm by kicking it, and knocks him down with a kick to the midsection for two. Raven hits a bulldog off the top rope right onto D’Lo’s shoulder for two. Nice psychology. Whip by Raven, reversed, and a clothesline by D’Lo, who sells the arm pretty well. Raven goes right for the arm again and armdrags D’Lo, followed by a wristlock, fought by D’Lo with brawling and a whip, but Raven slips underneath and tries for the Raven Effect, but D’Lo tosses Raven down. D’Lo tries for a Senton Splash, but misses and kicks out at two. Raven whips D’Lo to the corner, but misses his clothesline and gets hit by D’Lo’s heel kick. The crowd has a nice “LET’S GO D’LO!” chant going now. D’Lo hits Raven with some right hands, and knocks Raven down with some shoulder blocks, a clothesline and eventually a scoop slam, followed by the Shaky leg drop for two. SIDE EFFECT by D’Lo. Cover! 1…2…KICKOUT by Raven! D’Lo goes for the 10 punches of DOOM, but Raven drops down at 9. Raven hits a spinebuster and puts his foot on the ropes, but D’Lo kicks out anyway. Whip by Raven ad a reversal by D’Lo, but he gets kicked in the face. Raven tries for the Raven effect, but D’Lo spins him around and hits the SKY HIGH! Match over… D’Lo wins. Great match by Heat standards. Crowd goes nuts.

***

 

Bottom Line: Decent Heat this week, and it was definitely cool live. Raven vs. D’Lo was a surprisingly good main event, and the rest of the matches weren’t too bad either.

***

 

“Longfellow couldn’t have said it better.”

 

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