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Wednesday SmartMarks News Update!

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Guest TSMAdmin

Man, you ever have one of those weeks where shit just seems to go SO SLOW because you think you're in some deep trouble? I spent the first few days of this week wondering about this speeding ticket mess I had gotten into and thought that I was going to jail because I didn't go to Defensive Driving School by the court date. I must admit, the thought of getting booked into the big house didn't necessarily set my world on fire and I frantically signed up for the class on the day I was supposed to be in court presenting my fucking certificate for completion of the course! Shit, all I have to say is that no cop will EVER catch me speeding again, those fuckers....


Who the fuck booked RAW?


Anyways, personal bullshit aside, how about that RAW, eh? Sometimes I wonder if they are TRYING to book the shows this bad. Flair/Hogan for the title? That's pretty cute, but we saw that match MILLIONS of fucking times in WCW and it wasn't that good no matter HOW much of a god Ric Flair is being a heel. Also, it was so nice to see the booking totally shit on the RVD/Eddy feud. Planet Stasiak? What the bloody FUCK did he do to earn a title shot? Get beat down by Brock Lesnar? Well hell, it worked for Jeff Hardy, I guess. And what's up with the constant burying of Booker T? I know that the guy isn't the most talented person on the roster, but COME ON! Jobbing to Austin on a fluke roll-up? Completely disappearing when the mass beatdown began on Austin at the end of the show? Hey, the guy is over with the fans and if they do a face turn, it'll probably draw some money, but constantly demeaning him on TV like this is complete garbage. Who the fuck is booking this shit?




Okay, I've calmed down now... AND NOW, FOR WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR..... THE SECOND PART!!!!


Chyna to Box on FOX


Dave Meltzer reports that TAFKA Chyna will do one of those stupid celebrity boxing fights against Joey Buttafuco on FOX. Pardon me while I laugh....




Ahem... silliness aside, it seems that the booking plan was for Joey Buttfucker to fight John Wayne Bobbitt (the man who got neutered the HARD way) and the winner fight Miss Laurer later on. BUT, it seems that the former Mr. Cockless got arrested supposedly beating the shit out of his second wife, thus violating his parole and sending up Shit Creek without a paddle and forcing FOX to go ahead and schedule the Buttfucker/Laurer fight. Y'know what's so sad about this? A fourth rate joke of a program booked something that was semi-important light-years ahead of the quality of the main event for Judgment Day. Sigh....


Please credit Dave Meltzer of WrestlingObserver.com



RAW Rating


- Meltzer also reports that the rating for Monday's RAW show was 3.91, which just happens to be the lowest RAW has gotten since March of 1998! Man, I hope that Vince McMahon looks at these past few weeks and see how bad the programming has gotten since the Split because if things keep going on this downward spiral, then you might as well rename the promotion WCW because that's what it's gonna turn into. The really sad thing about this is that RAW wasn't up against competition like the NFL (and the NBA Playoffs aren't really an excuse since their ratings have been sucking too) and once the football season starts up again and the programming continues on this decline, it's gonna be a rough year for the WWE...


Please credit Dave Meltzer of WrestlingObserver.com and Neilson Media


Byte This Guests


1wrestling.com's Dave Scherer reports that Kane and Triple H will be the next guests on WWE Byte This! this Friday, so expect a lot of That There I-word and maybe even some burnt people if God grants my wish and Kane sets Michael Cole on fire...


Please credit Dave Scherer of 1wrestling.com



Hell In The Cell Site


Apparently, the WWE has set-up a mini-site that details the history of the Hell in the Cell matches. I'll bet they left off that abortion of a match from WM 15 with Bossman and Taker, lord knows I would...


You can check it out by clicking here.


Please credit Dave Schere of 1wrestling.com


Rock May Have To Make A Choice


- Something that doesn't really surprise me: 1bob.com reports that Hollywood has advised The Rock to distance himself from wrestling because of the stereotypical redneck bullshit attitude towards wrestling by the fucktards in movie industry. Also, because of the likelihood of Rock getting severely injured while wrestling has scared away the insurance people and that could cost the Rock some serious cash because the big time people won't bring him in without adequate insurance. The one sticker in all of this is that the WWE owns the rights to the "The Rock" name and since a majority of the Scorpion King's fanbase came from wrestling fans who wanted to see the Great One on the silver screen in a big time role and would probably discourage them from seeing anymore of his movies. Honestly, I feel sorry for Dwayne. The movie industry fucks him over hard by asking for him to alienate the very people who paid the dinero to see his movie and then if he DOES separate himself from wrestling, who's to say that Vince won't screw him over even harder by jacking the name that made him famous? Man, sometimes the guy just can't win at all...



Tits N’ Ass Info


- J Sports and Entertainment announced the signing of "The World's Most Dangerous Man", Ken Shamrock, today for the NWA TNA: Total Non-Stop Action on June the 19th. While obviously, the NWA show gets a big name in Shamrock, I think that they should have gotten a national TV provider like TNT or USA to air some shows and build up everything to a PPV other than throw it all out there like the WWA tried (and failed). If the show actually delivers on the wrestling (which the WWA kinda couldn't), then maybe this won't be such a bad move, but I just don't think it'll happen. Signing Kenny was a step in the right direction, but he wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer when it came to the in-ring shit, so this is a pretty big gamble on all of their parts. All that aside, I wish them all the luck because we NEED a new promotion that can somewhat deliver now.


Here's some info on the PPV from 1wrestling.com:


"The NWA: Total Nonstop Action series will premiere at the Von Braun Center in Huntsville, AL on June 19, 2002. The first ever PPV broadcast from Huntsville will air live throughout North America on national cable and satellite providers at 8:00 p.m. ET/ 7:00 p.m. CST. Tickets will go on sale Saturday, May 18 at 10:00 a.m. at all Ticketmaster locations and at the Von Braun Center Box Office.


Jeff Jarrett, "The Chosen One," will be live and in-person to sign autographs at the Von Braun Box Office on May 18, beginning at 10:00 a.m. Tickets are available for $35, $25 and $18.


NWA: Total Nonstop Action will broadcast every Wednesday at 8 p.m. ET on national cable and satellite providers with an encore presentation scheduled for the following Sunday at Noon ET (time approximate). The suggested pay-per-view retail price for each event is just $9.95. Check your local listing for additional replays and times.


More information about NWA: Total Nonstop Action will be available online at http://www.nwatna.com/>www.nwatna.com.


Please credit 1wrestling.com





Well folks, that's the news for tonight and I(or Damian) should be back again on Friday with some more going-ons in the inner workings of the wrestling biz. But before I go, lemme just say this... FUCK YOU, SHAQ!!! KINGS ALL THE FUCKIN' WAY, BABY!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!


As you can see, I'm pretty fucking psyched for the Western Conference Finals and will be in heaven if/when the Kings beat the dreaded Lakers and go on to win the NBA Title, so expect a lot of anti-Laker propaganda in the next couple of weeks. ;-)


With all that being said, I leave thee with this: "The only GOOD Laker is a humiliated one" - Me.


Later ya'll!


Byron Vester

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