Guest WrestlingDeacon Report post Posted October 5, 2002 The camera fades up on Ben Hardy and the Suicide King standing in an empty parking lot. Behind them is a towering monstrosity of a building, gleaming with the radiance of freshly finished construction. “Evening, ladies and gentlemen, I am standing here with SWF living legend the Suicide King.” Ben waves a hand out toward King, who flashes a smile at the camera. “Good to see you again, Ben, looks like you put on a little weight there.” King chuckles softly and pats the interviewer across his expanding middle. “Er…” Hardy looks briefly miffed and then recovers, “Since you have left active SWF service, you have started many businesses and projects. The newest of which is the enormous arena behind us here…THE KINGDOME!” Hardy gestures a hand back toward the building and the camera momentarily focuses on it. King strokes his short chin beard with pride and shoots the camera a self-satisfied look. “Since the previous Kingdome in Seattle was imploded a few years ago, I thought why should such a fine name go to waste. And where better for me to build the new and improved Kingdome than here in the land of kings.” King spreads his arms out wide to encompass the whole area. Ben Hardy screws up his face confused and scratches his head. “Here in North Dakota?” He asks. “Of course, here in North Dakota,” King shouts back shocked “through painstaking research and civil engineering advice, my cooperative determined that Fargo, North Dakota was just the type of burdening metropolitan area that could support this fine arena.” Cut to a blindfolded King throwing a dart at a map of the U.S. It buries into North Dakota. King removes the blindfold and says, “shit!” Cut back to King putting a friendly arm around Hardy and growing more confidential. “And we have big plans to make this the home of the real Kings. That’s right, an NBA team right here in Fargo!” “But the Kings play in Sacramento.” Hardy points out, growing more perplexed. “We’re working on it.” King winks at the camera. Cut to a billboard outside of a basketball arena, reading “HOME OF THE SACRAMENTO KINGS.” A white, unmarked Cadillac pulls haphazardly into the parking lot and takes up three spaces. The door opens and out steps Hville Thugg with a sawed off shotgun and a sledgehammer. Cut back to Hardy and King walking toward the entrance of the building. “This arena really means a lot to me, Ben. I practically built it with my own two hands.” Cut to a montage of shots. King driving a bulldozer pushing a large mound of dirt. King expertly nailing 2x4’s in place to form a frame. King installing seats with the help of a power screwdriver. King waxing the hardwood arena floor. King smartly calling the local electric company to check on the existence of any underground power lines before doing any deep digging. King turns to the camera with his ear still to the receiver and shoots a thumbs up. He smiles and a white sparkle ‘pings’ off of his blindingly brilliant teeth. Cut to Louie the Lightening Bug shaking his head in proud confidence. An itty-bitty tear trickles down his cheek. Cut back to King opening the door and ushering Hardy inside. “Just don’t think that we are going to offer great basketball alone. We have new and exciting refreshments and snacks that will revolutionize sporting event food.” King intones. Cut to a man taking a big bite of a taco. His face turns pale white and he spits the contents of his mouth all over the table. “There’s walrus carcass in this taco.” Cut to King and Hardy walking along the concourse area. “Special guest appearances by A-list celebrities and athletes to add our events that special big time flare.” Cut to Brian Bosworth and Joe Piscipo enjoying their $12 and bowl of soup for the personal appearance. Cut to King leading Hardy through a tall archway with the basketball court evident on the other side. “Top notch giveaways and incentives that will show the fans just how much they mean to us.” Cut to an usher handing a small child a hat out of a large bin before he enters the seating area. The kid stares blankly at the ball cap. It reads “Cincinnati Bengals-Champions Superbowl XVI.” Cut back to King and Hardy stepping out on the shiny hardwood floor. Hardy marvels at the huge expanse of the court and seating around him. King grips the front of his black vest with both hands and smiles once more. “However, the main element of all this, is the court itself. I have gone out of my way to construct the finest basketball court known to man, but don’t take my word for it…” King receives a basketball on a chest pass. “just ask these former NBA superstars!” King moves the basketball on with a bounce pass. The ball moves to each player in turn with the camera making sure to get a close up of their exuberant smiling faces. CRAIG EHLO! KIKI VANDERWEGHE! TREE ROLLINS! SAM BOWIE! FAT LEVER! MARK EATON! BRAD LOHAUS! MANUTE BOL! SPUDD WEBB! And the man from Planet Lovetron ~ CHOCOLATE THUNDER DARYL DAWKINS! Dawkins receives the ball on a bounce and takes three dribbles forward, picks it up, launches himself into the air and dunks the ball with authority. The team of players come together in a straight line with Dawkins in the middle, holding the basketball waist high. “I’ve played on a lot of courts in my time and this by far is the best. Nice floors, firm rims, backboards I can’t shatter. If there’s one thing the Suicide King knows, it’s how to construct a sweet ass basketball court.” Pause. “Now, where’s our soup.” Camera fades to black. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Chuck Woolery Report post Posted October 5, 2002 Brilliant, Frost. Just... brilliant. I vote that we move the LA Kings to the Kingdome! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Powerplay Report post Posted October 5, 2002 Our God truly loves us. He has errected a mighty palace for which his worshipers shall congregate by the thousands to praise the almighty power that is SUICIDE KING! PRAISE BE WITH HIM! GLORY TO HIM! *me gets in his car to drive to North Dakota* And Frost, if you didn't have a singles belt before, prepare to get one now. You are the King of the COMMUNITY BOARD PROMO! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ace309 Report post Posted October 5, 2002 Sacrifices a cow M'lord should be mightily happy now, aye, for the odor is pleasing to him. And he likes steak. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WrestlingDeacon Report post Posted October 5, 2002 I'm putting that in my sig, Judge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kelloggs Report post Posted October 5, 2002 In the beginning there was cheating, created from his great and all knowing mind. Seven days hence he cheated some more and from his action he became a memphis heel. Praise unto him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Powerplay Report post Posted October 5, 2002 I'm putting that in my sig, Judge Frost, was there any real competition? I mean, every promo you've EVER put up here has rocked so hard Californians began having flashbacks to the 1989 World Series. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted October 5, 2002 I love you all, my faithful children. You have pleased me with your simple faith and overly extravagant bribes. Know now that the one called Flesher has earned a place at my right hand. The one called Judge Mental shall sit to my left. Frost shall sit immediately in front of me to intercept stray bullets. TNT... go get us some donuts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Powerplay Report post Posted October 6, 2002 ..... ..... ..... THIS IS THE GREATEST SINGLE DEFINING MOMENT IN MY LIFE!!!!! *Judge Mental bows before the God of All while singing the Holy Hmynal, Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Chuck Woolery Report post Posted October 6, 2002 *feels depressed that he was ignored, so hums "Crazy Train" while hanging up his robe* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ace309 Report post Posted October 6, 2002 I NOW HAVE A REASON TO KEEP LIVING~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WrestlingDeacon Report post Posted October 6, 2002 Not bullet, nor knife, nor arrow, nor the cool winds of the air shall pass my form to intercept my king. Daryl Dawkins might be another matter all together though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Powerplay Report post Posted October 6, 2002 Not bullet, nor knife, nor arrow, nor the cool winds of the air shall pass my form to intercept my king. Daryl Dawkins might be another matter all together though. Now that the KINGDOME *Herald Trumpets Play* is complete, we have to hold a show there and you guys have to write a Heel vs. Face SWF Allstar Basketball game. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Angel_Grace_Blue Report post Posted October 6, 2002 Hmm, do I smell a Rock and Jock - style thing here? No, because although Rock and Jock was kinda nifty at first, it now sucks, or something. But an all-star celebrity and sports-star draft for the teams would be interesting. Heck, it'd be only the second basketball game with a mid-game heel turn (I think it was Gary Payton one R&J that switched teams at half-time), but this one will have chair shots. And Gary Coleman. And the Pope, for he's old, but he's got mad hoop skillz. GONZAAAAAAAAAALES IS ALWAYS ON MY TEAM. NOW TESTIFY!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WrestlingDeacon Report post Posted October 6, 2002 I could write that or do that in conjuction with someone. We need to figure who plays what position and then draft. I play power foreward. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted October 6, 2002 Well, I nominate on heel team. Coach: Suicide King Assistant Coach: Chris Wilson Center: HVT Guard: Neilsen of the Jungle Guard: Flesher Forward: Perfect Bo Forward: Sacred Bench: Frost, JD, Fallout, TBS, M7, etc. Face Team Coach: Edwin MacPhisto Assistant Coaches: Cyclone Comet and a very confused Mark Stevens Guard: ELM Guard: Tod desKindes Forward: Ash Ketchum Forward: LDP Center: Axis Bench: Renegade, Sarah, etc. I think that is a preliminary start. Right off hand, I think the faces are gonna get creamed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest crusen86 Report post Posted October 6, 2002 ... So do I. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted October 6, 2002 *bows down* I am not worthy... the Kingdome is awesome... it rules... I love it. KINGDOME HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 *jumps in car and drives to Fargo* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SupaTaft Report post Posted October 6, 2002 Beautiful. Praise goes out from my mainly heel character even though he hasn't had a match yet but will definetly be a heel after he wrestles a couple times. Yeah... *Parties down with Juicy Lucy* -Taft Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Powerplay Report post Posted October 6, 2002 Well, I nominate on heel team. Coach: Suicide King Assistant Coach: Chris Wilson Center: HVT Guard: Neilsen of the Jungle Guard: Flesher Forward: Perfect Bo Forward: Sacred Bench: Frost, JD, Fallout, TBS, M7, etc. Face Team Coach: Edwin MacPhisto Assistant Coaches: Cyclone Comet and a very confused Mark Stevens Guard: ELM Guard: Tod desKindes Forward: Ash Ketchum Forward: LDP Center: Axis Bench: Renegade, Sarah, etc. I think that is a preliminary start. Right off hand, I think the faces are gonna get creamed. If HVT and Neilson are used, how about Chris Raynor and Edwin as players to balance the Face team out (Using their more classic incarnations)? Mark Stevens as the incredibly confused head coach with Comet there correcting him. That would even it out a little more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Grand Slam Report post Posted October 7, 2002 Oh Christ, now we'll never be able to fit King's ego on the bus. Nice going guys... Grand Slam as a basketball coach? That could be interesting... ELM: So Coach, what's the play? GSMS: Hell if I know... just like, dunk it or something... now leave me alone, the Series is on... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Luchadore Magnifico Report post Posted October 7, 2002 Pfft, like I'd pass up watching the Braves get their ass kicked for basketball. There are some awesome series this year, too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HVilleThugg Report post Posted October 7, 2002 Yeah, well...I dare ELM to take a charge as HVT comes barrelling down the lane for a dunk. I dare ya! Da "scoring 38.4 points a game" H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest El Luchadore Magnifico Report post Posted October 7, 2002 *trips charging Thugg* *flees for life* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HVilleThugg Report post Posted October 7, 2002 ...ummm......foul! REF! REF!! Where's the fucking call? Are you blind?? "Uhhhh....but....well..." Goddammit! That was blatant! Make the call fucker! "I'll ummm...look...uhhhhh..." THAT's IT! ::wreckes the referee's shit:: Da "god...work is just SO boring." H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
