Harassment causes long-term pain

[Guest MrRant]

In ninth grade, I was the victim of pervasive, severe racial and sexual harassment. I was incessantly called names such as ''whore'' and ''slut.'' Vulgar songs were sung openly about me during classes. My home was vandalized repeatedly.

 

Teachers and school officials did little to help me. When I told one school official about my classmates' discussions of their plans to pool their lunch money to buy a rifle to shoot me, he suggested that my problems would end if I would only be more submissive, ''like the other girls.'' After realizing that school officials were unwilling to help protect me, I was forced to transfer to another high school. My self-esteem, dignity and sense of optimism were greatly diminished.

 

Unfortunately, my experience is not an isolated one. A 2001 Harris Interactive ( news - external web site) survey found that more than 80% of students in grades 8-11 have been subjected to sexual harassment in school. This and other forms of bullying and teasing -- from name-calling to physical intimidation and assault -- can diminish victims' self-esteem, physical and emotional health and overall well being. Many resort to drugs, sex, alcohol, violence and even suicide to alleviate their pain. Too often, teachers, administrators and courts tolerate this cruelty, seeing it as just an inevitable rite of passage.

 

As Miss America ( news - web sites) 2003, I am issuing a national call to action, challenging all segments of American society to take a proactive, comprehensive approach to eradicating this culture of degradation and indifference:

 

* Parents should talk with their children about the importance of treating all people with respect and be advocates for their children if they are victimized.

 

* All school districts should formulate and uniformly enforce effective anti-harassment policies that are easy for students to comprehend.

 

* Each state should adopt anti-harassment laws. The standard of proof applied by courts hearing harassment cases should be based on a school's conduct in its role as the temporary stand-in for its students' parents, rather than allowing school districts to hide behind higher standards of proof.

 

* Most importantly, young people must usher in a new age of civility by defending victimized classmates and refraining from harassment themselves.

 

My year as Miss America will not be about me, but about achieving these goals. Freeing our youth from harassment will empower them to become the change we seek in this world.

 

Erika Harold became Miss America 2003 on Sept. 21.

 

 

So if someone calls you a name they should be suspended? Being called a slut is sexual harrasment?

 

If 80% of kids are being sexually harrased in 8-11th grades then goddamnit why were some chicks holding me up to my locker in the 8th grade while forcing themselves upon me? I certainly don't remember this.

 

People get called names all the time. You can't sit there and regulate a child. If you can't take being called a name then you sure haven't prepared yourself for the bimbo stereotype of Miss America.

 

Grow a little thicker hide and learn to deal with people that don't seem to like you. I somehow doubt the lunch money for a gun to specifically shoot you bullshit.

 

Edit: I apologize for the hurried nature of the post but with me at work my mind gets distracted.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

<snorts> I think the future Janet Renos of the world have a few more "self-esteem" and "harassment" issues in high school than the future Miss Americas.

[Guest MrRant]

Well apparently we need to end harrasment to be able to make changes in the world.

[Guest DrTom]

I just think it's amusing that someone wins a glorified bikini contest, and they're suddenly an expert on child-rearing, harrassment law, the responsibilities of government, and the behavior of students in an environment they themselves left years ago. Fascinating.

[Guest MrRant]

Well I won a spelling bee in the 3rd grade so that makes me automatically an expert on foreign affairs so....

 

Bomb the French!

[Guest Cancer Marney]

IT IS WRONG TO BE FRENCH

[Guest MrRant]

Of course it is. Any country that created and willing names men Pierre should be bombed.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

"I just think it's amusing that someone wins a glorified bikini contest, and they're suddenly an expert on child-rearing, harrassment law, the responsibilities of government, and the behavior of students in an environment they themselves left years ago. Fascinating."

 

Now, now, they also had other competitions as well...

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Such "other contests" as "who can get Judge Bill off the fastest"...

[Guest danielisthor]

If she's Miss America, why doesn't she get to compete in the Miss Universe Contest? and in the Miss Universe Contest, why aren't there any contestants from Mercury, Jupiter, Mars, Venus, Uranus, Pluto, Neptune, etc. etc.

[Guest Ripper]

Ok, just because you don't respect that she is Miss America(I still think that it is the pointless thing in the world) it doesn't make her wrong.

 

She is basically saying teach these kids some fucking respect. So just to get what you guys are saying its cool for kids to be aloud to be little mysoginst and racist, threaten someone with violence and such, have no type of reprecussions for their disrespect and its all cool. But when these little disrespectful bastards, oh, I don't know, chase a man and beat him to death with shovels and tree branchs, everyone is all shocked and the parents should be ashamed of themselves.

 

Part of what makes kids today so fucking nuts is that they are used to getting a way with doing what ever they want to. They can call women bitches, whores and sluts to their faces and disrespect them all they want to, they can make jokes of violence against people and see no reprecussions, no punishment, no body telling them that it is wrong. These little psychopaths that are popping up everyday on the news aren't just becoming that way one day. They are the little disrespectful pricks that she is discribing.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Actually, I have much more respect for her beauty than her opinions. It's perfectly true that kids get away with far too much crap these days. But their misogyny is ingrained in their culture, their violence is constantly excused, and their psychopathic behaviour is constantly justified and medicated by shovelling drugs down their throats instead of values into their heads.

 

You don't change society by changing children and legislating against mean name-calling in front of the lockers. You change society by changing adults. When adults stop excusing crime on the basis of "mental illness," "harsh environments," and "black rage," we will naturally see a change in their children. When adults take responsibility for themselves again, instead of suing cigarette companies for their own reckless behaviour, the children will follow. When adults stop being so self-involved and rediscover a sense of duty to others, the children, who look up to them (at least initially), will learn. When adults stop treating women like objects to be dehumanised and controlled by denigration, possession, extortion, bribery, or insincere deification, it will make a difference.

Arresting a frustrated, pimply 11 year-old for calling a pretty girl a "slut" will not.

[Guest Ripper]

Yeah, but when one of these kids snap and shoot the joint up, everyone says "WHy did this happen?" If measures are taken to stop the harrasment, it could prevent some things. Teasing is one thing, but shit like what she described is pretty messed up.

 

No, arresting a 14 year old for it is overkill, but if a child comes to a teacher or offical and says, hey I gettig alittle tired of this "Bitch", whore slut crap. There should be some reprecussions to it and severe enough for kids to understand that blatantly disrespecting someone comes with punishment.

[Guest big Dante Cruz]

What about a kid getting the crap kicked out of him in fourth grade because of the fact that he was an easy target? None of them get in much trouble, just told "not to do it again".

 

'Course, I'd love them to try it now. Traning will do that for you...

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Yeah, but when one of these kids snap and shoot the joint up, everyone says "WHy did this happen?" If measures are taken to stop the harrasment, it could prevent some things.

It happens because kids have access to guns. The "criminals would get them anyway" crap which Tom is fond of spouting clearly doesn't apply in this particular case. Kids don't have black market connexions, but they do have relatives. And if every man and woman in America can own a gun, you can bet your ass some kid will get his hands on one too.

Let's be serious for a moment. They're children. They experience petty things intensely. There is not one teen in the world - not one - who has never thought "I'd like to kill him/her" about a classmate or a teacher, and thought that seriously - as in, wanted, at that moment, to really act on it. For something stupid and trivial - a missed date, a "stolen" boy or girl, a bad grade. Whatever. The problem is that they get the opportunity.

 

No, arresting a 14 year old for it is overkill, but if a child comes to a teacher or offical and says, hey I gettig alittle tired of this "Bitch", whore slut crap.   There should be some reprecussions to it and severe enough for kids to understand that blatantly disrespecting someone comes with punishment.

How are they supposed to understand anything of the sort when they hear rappers constantly talking about pimpin' hos and livin' large and shootin' up pigs with they homeys? Children don't form opinions and ideas about contempt for the law and hatred for women in a vacuum. They get it - all of it - from the adult world.

[Guest EricMM]

Don't you feel sorry for the beautiful people in the world?

 

Haven't they had it *ROUGH*!?

 

Anyone who was blessed enough to be pretty enough to be Miss America has DEFINITELY had more meals paid by other people, more drinks paid by other people, and more free shit from other people than i will ever have.

 

I don't hold it against them, until they start bitching about their lives.

[Guest Ripper]

"How are they supposed to understand anything of the sort when they hear rappers constantly talking about pimpin' hos and livin' large and shootin' up pigs with they homeys? Children don't form opinions and ideas about contempt for the law and hatred for women in a vacuum. They get it - all of it - from the adult world. "

 

 

Oh, bullshit...A white bred country boy that don't listen to anything like that is just as likely to be a mysoginist as someone that listens to rappers. I listened to rap and hip-hop coming up, and you know what keeps me from calling women bitches and sluts. My parents teaching me respect. I don't give a shit if the worlds only music was opera, if the children aren't being taught the importance of respect by thier parents and society. Rappers aren't the ones letting these kids get away with it. Their parents and school officials are.

 

 

 

"Don't you feel sorry for the beautiful people in the world?

 

Haven't they had it *ROUGH*!?

 

Anyone who was blessed enough to be pretty enough to be Miss America has DEFINITELY had more meals paid by other people, more drinks paid by other people, and more free shit from other people than i will ever have.

 

I don't hold it against them, until they start bitching about their lives."

 

Bitter much?

 

So you mean to tell me that if someone was beaten up pissed on, sexually assualted, been homeless, but grow up to be beautiful they have had a easy life? Not saying that it happend to this Miss America girl but you don't have any idea what her life was like. You just know that she is pretty now.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Oh, bullshit...A white bred country boy that don't listen to anything like that is just as likely to be a mysoginist as someone that listens to rappers.  I listened to rap and hip-hop coming up, and you know what keeps me from calling women bitches and sluts. My parents teaching me respect.  I don't give a shit if the worlds only music was opera, if the children aren't being taught the importance of respect by thier parents and society.  Rappers aren't the ones letting these kids get away with it.  Their parents and school officials are.

You're missing my point. There are bad influences other than rappers. Your parents were exceptional people who took the time to teach you anything, anything at all. And you clearly respected them enough to learn from them.

That your case is the exception and not the rule is the fundamental problem. People have children without doing anything to earn their respect, they don't care enough to have any influence on them, and they let them get their values from rap or street gangs or homophobic misogynistic white trash trailer-park rednecks.

 

All I'm saying is that you can't just enforce anti-harassment laws in school and expect anything to change. Crimes by and against children are not the disease; they are the symptom. Change the adult world, and the children will follow. Don't change the adult world, and whatever you do in locker rooms and study halls, it will have no effect. None.

 

As for Miss America, I don't want to speak for Eric but since I made a similar comment at the start of the thread, I'll explain myself. Whether life was easy or not in her particular instance, I couldn't say. I just think that ugly people have a harder time in school than pretty people. I had an easy time throughout all my years of school and college; I was never fat or ugly or unpopular or poor or a misfit, but I've seen it from the other side, and it didn't look like fun.

[Guest Some Guy]

*NEWS FLASH*

Kids are really mean to each other.

 

When I was little kids got picked on, when my dad was little kids got picked on, when his dad was little kids got picked on, etc...

 

It's a fact of life and it won't change. Generally speaking kids lack any and all tact when it comes to speaking with others. Rather than "you could have done this a little better," it comes out as "you suck!"

Teaching kids tolerance (real tolerance, not "love everyone, but hate yourself for being white and male") would be good but probably won't work, becaue kids are immature.

[Guest Olympic Slam]

All I'm saying is that you can't just enforce anti-harassment laws in school and expect anything to change.

 

I just think that ugly people have a harder time in school than pretty people.

We really should create some "No More Bad Things" legislation. We can completely rid ourselves of things that hurt our feelings in one big sweep.

 

 

From what I observed in high school, appearence is the number one factor in determining how "easy of a time" you have it. Good looks = self-confidence. Self-Confidence = good social skills. Good social skills = friendship and acceptance.

[Guest danielisthor]

you can pass any law you want, you can teach anything you want about being friends, being friendly, flower power, etc. etc, and by the end of the school year, every student would have a "record", because children lack the life experience to handle such things as greed, jelousy and hate and the worse thing about it is, if they don't learn by the time they're out of school, they never will.

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

Well I won a spelling bee in the 3rd grade so that makes me automatically an expert on foreign affairs so....

Yet, you keep spelling "harassment" wrong

[Guest MrRant]

Well I won a spelling bee in the 3rd grade so that makes me automatically an expert on foreign affairs so....

Yet, you keep spelling "harassment" wrong

Well in the third grade I didn't have to spell harassment while being at work at 2 am.

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

Excuses, excuses...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I was never fat or ugly or unpopular or poor or a misfit, but I've seen it from the other side, and it didn't look like fun.

Speaking from my own experiences, I was a FAT little kid, and was tubby as hell up until later in middle school/early high school, when I grew about a foot and a half and lost some weight/gained some muscle mass. I got picked on now and then when I was little, then come sophomore year of high school, and I'm twice the size of those little shits, (poor short people) it was a different story. I've never been very good looking, but at least I'm in decent condition now. Point I'm getting to is this:

 

Little kids pick on each other, no matter what. Big nose, big BUTT, peed your pants, goofy shoes, doesn't matter. Kids will always find SOMETHING to pick on some other kid about, it's pretty much related to phases, doesn't matter much. Past that, it's all about how someone carries themselves, and whether or not they stink.

[Guest ScorpionDanceofDeath]

It seems all of you missed the point. Erika Harold (in 3 of her 4 objectives) called on the school system and parents.. not children.. to change the way harassment is handled. Her fourth objective was made towards kids, but would be backed by her first objective.

 

And I agree with her. Parents and school officials should be more aware of what they let go on in school can do to a child.

[Guest MrRant]

Well my grandparents and parents went through the same shit I did and we all aren't little weaklings who can't take being called a name. Its called raising a generation of wusses. Kids will figure it out for themselves I know I did.