[Odd] "Water.. Iced, not warm."

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

The world's most famous fictional super-spy has witnessed many changes in his 50-year career. He has been played by five actors; he has adapted to the end of the Cold War; and he has altered his sexual habits in the face of the Aids crisis.

Now, in perhaps the biggest change of all, 007 is abandoning his vodka martinis and going teetotal.

 

Next month sees the release of the twentieth James Bond movie - Die Another Day, starring Pierce Brosnan. In a key scene, Bond is seen sipping a glass of mineral water in preference to his usual 'shaken-not-stirred' beverage. According to insiders, he does not drink alcohol throughout the film.

 

Bond's choice of mineral water is a sign of moderation in the normally hectic lifestyle of the legendary character.

 

But it also marks the end of one of the glorious associations in cinematic history. No drink is as easily identified with one character as the vodka martini and James Bond. 007's favourite tipple first appeared in writer Ian Fleming's 1953 Bond debut, Casino Royale. In a line from the book, 'Bond... looked carefully at the barman. "A dry martini," he said.'

 

The line, usually followed with the strict instruction 'shaken, not stirred' has become a hallmark of the Bond franchise, and used to dramatic effect by actors such as Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton

 

'But times change,' said David Relph, general manager of Welsh firm Ty Nant, which supplied the mineral water for the film. 'Perhaps Bond wants to be associated with something more relevant than alcohol. And his drinking mineral water also sends out a much more positive message to the young people who will go to see the film. Plus, we see ourselves as a company at the luxury end of the market. And who better to drink it than the world's most famous spy?'

 

But not everyone is happy with Bond's new health-conscious lifestyle. 'I think it's a shame,' said a spokesman for the Commanders Club, a Bond fan club. 'James Bond has always been associated with a certain amount of recklessness. In many ways he has the ultimate lifestyle. It's sad to think he's not going to drink vodka martinis anymore. It's a drink that seemed to capture him completely.'

 

http://www.observer.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,...,805558,00.html

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Translation:

We're fucking pussies that think an adult can't have an occasional alcoholic beverage without it sending a bad message to teenagers, whose primary choice of alcohol is beer or fruit-flavored "hard" drinks.

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

...

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

I wonder if all of Bond's foe's will be armed with walkie talkies instead of guns...

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Oh HELLS NO!!!!

 

(heads to United Artists with a BIG GUN)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Steve J. Rogers]

Don't know if this had anything to do with it, but last year on The West Wing (I forget the name of the episode but it was the one where the VP told the Pres about his being an alcoholic) Bartlett (Martin Sheen) went on about how a dry martini "shaken, not stirred" was one of the weakest drinks you could get and James was just being snooty about it, baiscally saying if you stir your martini you'll get the most out of the alcohol content instead of nothing more than a watered down version.

 

I'm sure it didn't (movie was probably in the can by the time the episode aired) but sometimes refrences like that do make a difference. I.e. when Seinfeld made fun of the Dockers "Hey, nice pants" ads that only refrenced the pants with that tag line Dockers fired the person who okayed the ads and no longer did buisness with the ad agency that came up with them.

 

Steve

[Guest Flyboy]

And the point of this is to do what again?

 

Have him "age" with the times?

 

... Riiiiiggghtttt..

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Boo! They make the first sex scene in a Bond flick but make him drink water? I don't care if said sex scene IS with Halle Berry, ain't no way you'll catch me in a theatre with this travesty.

[Guest Flyboy]

I don't care if said sex scene IS with Halle Berry, ain't no way you'll catch me in a theatre with this travesty.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

 

Now, you're just talking crazy talk.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

I don't care if said sex scene IS with Halle Berry, ain't no way you'll catch me in a theatre with this travesty.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

 

Now, you're just talking crazy talk.

Nope, I can get the same thing AND a better surrounding film to boot with Monster's Ball.

[Guest Sassquatch]

As a James Bond fan, I am just shaking my head at this bullshit. Bond is a character, not a goddamn nanny for the stupid who get shit faced and killed in car accidents.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

Hmm..

 

So, James Bond drinks water now. What are the chances that

 

*Bond poses..spits water*

 

will follow?

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

What about (Bond tears quad)?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest bps "The Truth" 21]

So no more drinking, huh?

 

He's still going to be a womanizer though, right?

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

Next James Bond Flick

 

James Bond is GAY! Smell the Box Office!!

[Guest Sassquatch]

Quiet Marvin!

 

You never know when some MGM putz might be lurking around.

 

 

Sadly, in today's token "minority x" society and with the recent ghyeness with Bond, it is entirely possible that sometime in the future that a blatant homosexual will be portrayed in a sequel of Bond's.

 

Of course the character will probably be forced fed down most viewers throats like nearly every TV/film minority is today.

 

Some things are not meant to be touched and messing with James' booze, his womanizing and his sexuality are three things that you do *not* mess with.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

You know, an Austin Powers meets James Bond movie would rock, but the studios would never agree to it, so it will never happen...

[Guest C.H.U.D.]

Man, political corectness is ruining everything.

 

It's sad that more and more things are becoming unaccepted in the future. Well, at least they can say "ass" on prime time television. Talk about progress!

 

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

And really, since when is mineral water relevant to the movie-going audience? It's kind of hard for me to believe that anyone actually drinks that crap except for health nuts.

 

You take away Bond's alcohol, and you lose some of the allure of the character, it's part of what draws the movie-goer to him in the first place. People want to watch a suave bigger-than-life spy who can do things your average Joe can't; not a toned down pc pansy who actually gives a shit about what he puts into his body, and is further hampered by "real world" limitations and political correctness.

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

Sadly, in today's token "minority x" society and with the recent ghyeness with Bond, it is entirely possible that sometime in the future that a blatant homosexual will be portrayed in a sequel of Bond's.

Not to mention I don't think it will help homosexuals in any way at all.

 

 

However, how about in the next movie, instead of playing roulette or poker or any other casino game, Bond plays Tiddlywinks?

 

What a manly man.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

"He's still going to be a womanizer though, right?"

 

Yeah, but he'll be sure not to sexually harass any of them. Doesn't want any lawsuits...

[Guest areacode212]

What did you all think of The Living Daylights, in which he was less of a womanizer?

[Guest Sassquatch]

I hated Timothy Dalton as Bond so it didn't bother me because I had already felt that Dalton would butcher the Bond character.

 

Which he did.

[Guest Kagato Otaku]

Ugh.

 

'Perhaps Bond wants to be associated with something more relevant than alcohol. And his drinking mineral water also sends out a much more positive message to the young people who will go to see the film. Plus, we see ourselves as a company at the luxury end of the market. And who better to drink it than the world's most famous spy?'

 

Bond should sip sparkling clear mountain spring water next time he drops someone down a smokestack. Box office gold, baby.

 

How about warning the youth of the dangers of tooth decay? Good oral hygene is paramount to ANY secret agent's success.

 

Colgate would *love* a piece of this.