Wacky Ass Wal Mart Shopers

[Guest Zack Malibu]

As far as the shilling goes, I was in Old Navy the other night grabbing a bunch of stuff (needed some new clothes for the season, and they have a hella sale going on). So one of the guys working there comes up to me and says "I hear you want to save 10% today!", so I'm like "Interesting, how am I going to do that?" so then I get the Old Navy credit card sales pitch. Being a 21 year old kid, who probably shouldn't have been spending his money anways, I relented, but out of the kindness of my heart, told the guy I'd think about it. He then just flat out said "Well, if I get six of these, I get to go home early." So I debated on opening the account, until I walked back up to him, and told him I'd help send him home early. I guess I just appreciated the honesty and didn't have to deal with the whole "we love our customers" phony bullshit. Not that all employees everywhere are like that, but some people just sound so robotic and forced when dealing with customers.

 

And I got my 10%. And my Old Navy charge has twice the limit as my MasterCard.

 

As for crazy stories, check this one out. Back in senior year of high school, one of my good friends (we'll call him "Bill" for the sake of the thread) hatched a plan with some kids we knew where he'd go into a random establishment and start working. How would he do this, you ask? One of the kids worked at the Wendy's in our town, and grabbed Bill a uniform in his size. A few days later, Bill went to the Wendy's one town over, walked in in full uniform, and said he was a trainee from another store sent to work there. Bill's name for this gag: Ezekiel Goldberg. I shit you not. They even made up a nametag for him that said "Zeke". He stayed at the place, worked for over an hour, until the manager said that they had too many people on, since they didn't expect him, and to come back on some day during the week.

 

Not really a "crazy customer" story, but hilarious nonetheless.

[Guest Olympic Slam]

A few Wal-Mart experiences......

 

- While waiting in line to return something, A giant, disgusting, lard infested women in front of me attempted to return a vaccum cleaner without the box and without a receipt. When they of course refused to take back the product, she started to throw a fit stating loudly that "if she were white" none of this would be happening. I ended up waiting in line for a good 45 minutes because of this beast.

 

- While looking at fans in the electric fan department (most of which were running) with my father, a family walked in front of the fans with the most unimagniably bad B.O. You couldn't have scripted my dad's reaction any better. Escaping the odor was a hell of a task as I swear to god it was blowing in all directions.

 

- This really gross fat women, who was wearing something that must have come from Victoria's Secret, was taking great interest in a pair of Confederate Flag underpants with her biker husband. That about sums up Wal-Mart.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

"They are either forced or at least encouraged by managers to do this. They even throw in cheesy perks to make sure employees do this, such as giving people who sell the most warranties in a day a chance to go home early and avoid a chore like vaccuuming the floor.

 

Don't blame the individual guy, but feel free to write a letter of complaint to your local Store Manager or to the company."

 

Oh, I did. And I know they have to pimp warranties and such, but there is a line between pimping and out-and-out harassment. This pinhead did the latter.

 

"While waiting in line to return something, A giant, disgusting, lard infested women in front of me attempted to return a vaccum cleaner without the box and without a receipt. When they of course refused to take back the product, she started to throw a fit stating loudly that "if she were white" none of this would be happening. I ended up waiting in line for a good 45 minutes because of this beast."

 

God, I hate it when people play the race card. Side story: The biggest laugh I ever got while at one of my many dead-end jobs was when we had a new person one day and a bunch of us were just fooling around. I was ripping on this one chick, and the new person said "You don't like her because she's a woman." I responded, "No, I don't like her because she's black." I don't think I've ever seen someone's face get so pale so quickly.

 

I've always wanted to try the "Yeah, if you were white you wouldn't have forgotten your receipt" or some other shock line to a irate customer...

[Guest crandamaniac]

Speaking of playing the race card to get a return, here's a story of something that happened to my store. *If you're african american, there was some offensive language said by the customer*

 

Anyways, Wal-mart's return policy on VHS/DVD/Software/Music returns is to only exchange it if it's defected, and then only for the exact same thing you got to begin with. So this woman comes up to the customer service counter with 2 different VHS tapes. She told the lady working the counter she wanted to exchange them. She was then told basically what our return policy was. She pitched a fit, and asked to speak to a manager. So the CSR called for Harold, who just so happens to be black.

 

Seeing Harold, the woman says "I don't want him, he's black, I want a white manager". She was then told that Harold was the only manager we had working. So she talks with Harold, and gets told basically the same thing she was told earlier. Rejected, she walks off, and says "I would have gotten the exchange if it hadn't been for that nigger"

 

 

Godamn racist bitch!

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Seeing Harold, the woman says "I don't want him, he's black, I want a white manager".

 

Hahahahahahaha -- did she have all her front teeth...

[Guest The Metal Maniac]

You mean...some Wal-Marts REFUSE to take back merchandise that they shouldn't?

 

Will wonders never cease...

 

I work at a Wal-Mart, and have seen items that are literally years old, or not even CARRIED in our store, returned. Like, I'm talking brand-name clothes from a brand that Wal-Mart doesn't carry, and an obvious one at that.

 

Hell, very recently, someone returned a swimming pool (Above the ground one) that they bought at the start of summer. Not suprisingly, the bottom of it was covered in dirt, as if it had been in someone's yard...hmmm...all summer.

 

The woman who was offered $200 dollars back on her 56" TV, because it had a MINUTE mark on the front, that didn't even BEGIN to effect play at all. 200 DOLLARS. But no. She hired some moving guys, brought the TV BACK, and I think she even got Wal-Mart to pay for the moving guy's cost.

 

Fuck, I hate that store so much sometimes. Last Christmas, we had 3 registers set aside for returns. Seeing as how it was just after Christmas, Wal-Mart apparantly understood that Christmas Gifts don't always have receipts with them - therefore, they accepted items without receipts.

 

Leading a number of people to literally grab things off the shelf, and take them to be "returned".

 

The worst part is that we KNEW what these people were doing, but Management is apparantly scared to death to upset customers, so there ya go...

 

Oh, and one more thing that annoys me about Wal-Mart...

 

Each and every single thing posted, be it written on a whiteboard, or typed up and printed out and stuck up, anything that ISN'T printed by the Wal-Mart head offices HAS WORDS SPELLED WRONG. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

 

And it's not like they're complicated words. One sign, out on THE SALES FLOOR, included the word "Purcases". I swear I'm not making this up. Today I spotted a brand-new notice, all nice and typed up. I looked at it for two seconds and....

 

TEH.

 

FUCKING TEH.

 

TEH~!!!!!!!!

 

THERE'S NO EMOTICON TO EXPRESS MY RAGE~!!!!!!

 

Are spell-checkers *THAT* expensive? I mean, come on, this is a WORKPLACE, not a fucking grade school.

 

Oh, and some people decided to get clever and start writing sayings on one of the whiteboards. One masterful quote:

 

"What we do in life, ECHO'S in eternity"

 

If I had a marker for the board, I was going to write "There's two E's in echoes" - Me.

 

But alas, I did not.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Well, if it makes you feel better, the first ever "real" job I got rejected from had a type-o in it.

 

The job? Copy editor

 

The sender? News Editor

 

And I wasn't even worth a spell check. I have it framed in the spare bedroom. I'll keep it till the day I die.

 

(Also, I love how management has the cut-costs-whenever-possible attitude, but then bends over like a 90-lb white guy sharing a cell with Bubba whenever returns are demanded by stupid customers...)

[Guest crandamaniac]

Well Metal, me personally, I can be a real son of a bitch when it comes to returns, as in if it says we can't return it in our policy, I won't take it back. But then again, when I say that, they normally turn right around, and get a manager, who basically bends over and takes it in the ass.

 

I had a woman one day return a television, I was told to just go up there and check to see that what they had was on the reciept. I went up there and all they had was a TV, remote and a reciept. I told them that all they can do is exchange it for another TV, b/c they didn't have the box, which is the policy. They turned right around, got the store manager, who took it back, and gave them their money.

 

Each and every single thing posted, be it written on a whiteboard, or typed up and printed out and stuck up, anything that ISN'T printed by the Wal-Mart head offices HAS WORDS SPELLED WRONG. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

 

That happens here too. Our sign outside of layaway for Christmas Layaways has the word again spelled "AGIAN". Another sign we have in the back for our monthly cashiers meeting somebody took and had a pen and basically copy-edited the sucker.

[Guest crandamaniac]

Seeing Harold, the woman says "I don't want him, he's black, I want a white manager".

 

Hahahahahahaha -- did she have all her front teeth...

I didn't see the woman, but seeing the people down here, probably so.