WWF Rampage 1991

[Guest nWoScorpion]

WWF Rampage 1991

Circa WWF 1991 (DUH!)

 

-Tape opens with Alfred Hayes trying to get us to buy Hulk Hogan 6. OK, I'm buying it since well, Hogan's my favorite wrestler. Real American plays in the background.

 

-WWF Action Figures Series #2. (Hasbro) If you don't know, they include Dusty Rhodes, Jim Duggan, Ted Dibiase, Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Roddy Piper, Honky-tonk Man, Jimmy Snuka, Big Boss Man, Bushwhackers, Demolition, The Rockers and more.

 

-Your Hosts are Sean Mooney, Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan, who will be teaching us to play golf. Heenan, of course has a stereotype golfing outfit on that looks like he bought it at a flea market. Heenan almost hits someone with a club after it slips out of his hands.

 

- Opening Match:

WWF-Intercontinental Championship Match:

Mr. Perfect © (w/ Coach) Vs. "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith:

Maybe this is why The rock had a coach on his life thing. To make fun of the FRIGGIN whistle. Lockup is stalled by Perfect a few times. Bulldog shoves him to the buckle and Mr. P takes a walk to talk with Coach. Side headlock by Mr. Perfect and he goes down after 2 shoulder-blocks, and he goes back on the outside. Mr. P imitates Hogan with his posing and Bulldog STUPIDLY asks for a Greco-Roman knuckle-lock. Perfect FAKES an injury for a while and Bulldog calls him a chicken. Mr. Perfect screams "You son of a bitch" loud enough for the arena to reply. Bulldog on the other hand has Perfect down with the knuckle-lock for a bit then sloppily crucifixes him for 2. Sunset flip by Perfect gets 2 as well. Perfect back up and he puts the boots to DBS but he eats 6 top rope buckles, 3 second rope ones, 2 bottom ropes, and eats canvas on the 10th. Low blow by Hennig turns the tide again. This is pre Summerslam cause Bret/Perfect feud is in affect. This is also a Wrestling Challenge dark match. Mr. Perfect with the Boston crab while I ramble. Bulldog however powers out sending Perfect outside. Perfect with a standing drop-kick sends Bulldog outside where Coach puts some weak shots to him. Bret Hart comes out to even the odds, chasing Coach away from DBS. snapmare by Perfect and a neck snap gets a 2 count. More kicking by Mr. (Not-so) Perfect. Sleeper Hold applied by Hennig and Coach is blowing his whistle none-stop, causing me to mute this. Bulldog gets up SHOCKINGLY and slams Perfect into the corner. Bulldog crotches Perfect and shakes things up for him. Running clothesline connects and now Hebner takes a VICIOUS bump. Perfect gets small packaged when he goes for a perfect plex. Coach in and he gets beaten up and Bret counts the 3, but of course it doesn't count. Perfect hammers Bret, and you can guess what happens. Bret kicks Perfects ass causing DBS to be DQ'd at 9:33. **1/4. Bulldog seems upset at Bret costing him the match. Whatever.

 

- Heenan says Gene hit a squirrel with his ball after distracting him during his swing. Heenan tee's off, and has the club upside down, and completely misses his swings.

 

-"Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich Vs. The Warlord (w/ Slick):

This is OBVIOUSLY from MSG, you can just tell without thinking. This is also a bad match I think.

Heenan: Warlords a lot bigger.

Monsoon: Tornado's a lot quicker.

Heenan: Warlords a lot stronger.

Monsoon: Tornado's a lot smarter brain.

Heenan: Now you've lied to the people. He's from Texas he can't be smart.

 

Niedhart is on commentary, and doesn't sound too bad. Warlord proves he's strong. WOW, what a change in matches. Tornado mocks him to follow. More stalling. Tornado brushes off a test of strength. Warlord wins it of course.....but Tornado comes back. Warlord of course kicks him to prevent the reversing and that puts Tornado back on the mat. tornado catches the boot of Warlord and nails the spinning tornado, but gets caught in a bearhug afterwards. Warlord pounds KVE a little more sending him to the outside. Warlord scoops him up and rams his back into the steel post. Tornado up with a sloppy sunset flip...but its stopped with a fist. More power moves by Warlord. Slam by Tornado is stopped and Warlord falls on top for 2. Backbreaker by the warlord but a sloppy splash misses. Tornado with a series of punches and clotheslines, and the spinning tornado puts him down for 2, but Warlord gets his foot on the ropes. Sleeper Hold by the Tornado. Both men spill to the floor, and Tornado lays him out, but can't beat the count so the official decision is a double count-out at 9:16. 1/4*. Not totally bad.

 

- Road Warrior Animal Vs. Paul Roma (w/ Hercules):

Same MSG Show, and I noticed the TOP rope is blue, which is usually the bottom rope. Roma ambushes Animal and hammers away. Animal catches him in a leap frog with an Inverted Atomic Drop and clothesline. headbutt hit's south of the border and gives him the 5 punches of doom before being dumped to the floor, where Hercules lays him out with a clothesline. Roma steps on his head a bit and goes back into the ring. Beautiful drop-kick by Romeo Roma. Don't ask where he got that from. Backbreaker by Roma, and another, and a third followed by an axhandle off the top rope. Animal hammers back and scores a back suplex. Roma with a piledriver, as Heenan says animal needs a guy with 4 eyes like Duggan. Animal Road Warrior's up and kills Roma with a series of rights and a big boot followed by a clothesline. Referee bump! Animal with a standing drop-kick and shoulder tackle. Hercules with an elbow drop and holds up Animal, but Roma comes off with a missile drop-kick to his partner. Powerslam by Animal gets the win at 4:59. 1/2*. I guess Power & Glory were on there way out if they are jobbing in less then 5 minutes at MSG to a Road Warrior. It was longer then the Wrestlemania VII match atleast.

 

- GOLFING TIPS!! He says the clubs bent. HILARIOUS.

CHIPPING: Gene gets a pretty good shot. Heenans up and he has an "extender" a.k.a. a ball retriever. He takes a club and throws it at gene and says what the hell.

 

SAND SHOT: Heenan pays attention to some lady while Gene talks. Gene says address the ball and Heenan says Hello Ball. Heenan of course misses every shot, then picks up the ball and throws it to the hole, celebrating like he achieved anything.

 

PUTTING: Gene makes his putt. Gene & Mooney have their backs to Heenan. Heenan gets a shot in and over hits it by 100 feet, then plants an extra ball and celebrates. Gene falls for it. He has a 3, which he calls a dove. Heenan rules.

 

- 6 Man Tag Team Match:

The Rockers & Big Boss Man Vs. The Nasty Boys & The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart):

For the record, Mountie's & Borga's theme are COMPLETELY different. Nasties are still the tag team champions here. Stalling a go-go. Mountie starts with Michael's, and finally after 2:00 the first contact is made. Well, no it wasn't, Boss Man tags in as does Sags. Sags hammers away in the corner and Bossman returns the favor with lightning quick punches and a body slam. Sags gets the knees up in a big splash and tags in Mountie. He hammers Bossman and gets caught with a spinebuster. Rockers in with crescent kicks for the Nasty Boys. Knobbs in now and Bossman hits him with an ENZIGURI! Jannetty in and the heels take over I guess. Marty with a big boot and bulldog off the 2nd rope. He hammers the heels but Knobbs beats him up. Sunset flip by MJ gets 2. Michaels in with a crescent kick and clothesline. Big Boot by Bossman and applies a headlock. Sags knees him in the gut causing BBM to spill to the outside. Knobbs trips over Bossman but Mountie in and he puts the boots to him. Sags with a snapmare and a series of elbow drops. Mountie scores with a diving elbow drop for a 2 and antagonizes the faces causing a 3 on 1. Bossman fights back with Knobbs but gets his clock cleaned. Shawn gets the hot tag finally and hits Knobbs with a crescent kick, and clotheslines the other two. Triple Noggin Knocker. Its BONZO GONZO! Three way collision. Shawn intercepts the helmet and nails Knobbs. Mountie shocks Michaels but Bossman sends him off. Marty in and he covered Knobbs for the three at 10:11. **. Bossman & Rockers celebrate afterwards.

 

- Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat Vs. Demolition Smash:

Dragon ditched the cool them, which would also be used by the Chicago Bulls to introduce the team at their home games. Dragon has some Hawaiian style music. He does the flame bit here by the way, but they pan the crowd and Smash for most of it. Demolition was over by this point and Smash was just completing his contract duties until he was retooled as Repo Man. Smash pounds away and applies an armbar. Steamboat reverses with the same and puts him to the mat, following it with a series of elbow drops. Smash up and he goes down with a shoulderblock. Steamboat skins the cat and Smash goes out. Same MSG show as the previous 2 matches from MSG. Arm drag and armbar by Dragon. Slam by The Dragon and repeat the previous moves from earlier. Smash with an inverted atomic drop and he stun guns the Dragon. Steamboat was in his early run from 1991 here. Smash with a choke into a slam. Not chokeslam. Back Suplex by Smash gets a 2 count. Knee to the back chinlock. Steamboat is sent on the outside after coming back for 20 seconds. Slam onto the concrete floor by Smash. Smash slingshots him back into the ring and connects with a backbreaker for 2. Chinlock again by Ex-Demolition Smash. Dragon back to his feet with reverse knife edge chops, but he's sent down with a series of clotheslines and a sleeper hold. Dragon back up again and fights out of it with chops and a big boot to the kisser. Standing drop-kick and Smash is sent to the floor. Body Press form the 2nd buckle to the floor by Steamboat! Smash gets a suplex out of nowhere for 2 but he eats buckle and missing a charge. Steamboat with the Dragon Leap (Cross body press) for the win at 10:15. *1/4. Not too bad, since this was to establish Steamboat returning. Too bad he only lasted with this gimmick for 5 months, as he would once again go back to WCW.

 

- Jake "The Snake" Roberts Vs. Barbarian (w/ Bobby Heenan):

Oh God I hate Barbarian matches. This is nearing the end of Robert's face run, and its almost time for him to become mega prick. Jake gets shoved around of course. See Warlord, The. Jake with his signature jabs and more stalling. Armbar by the Snake but Barbarian beats him in the corner, but misses a charge so its back to the armbar. Screw this match. Barbarian slowly beats Roberts into the ground like a puddle of mud. DDT by Roberts out of nowhere!!! Earthquake comes out to go for Lucifer but Roberts chases him off with his new snake, only to be counted-out at 7:23. By the way, if you didn't know, Earthquake squashed Damion, so now Roberts has Lucifer. DUD. Got that was awful.

 

- Gene & Heenan go searching for Heenan's lost ball. Heenan throws a cup on the ground. While gene's looking, Heenan throws a new ball in the other direction and they believe its his ball.

 

- Greg "The Hammer" Valentine Vs. Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan):

God Damn it. First Barbarian, now Haku. Vince Mcmahon & Roddy Piper on commentary. This is from UK Rampage 91. Not to be confused with this tape, Rampage 91. Hammer with a hammer lock. How Ironic!!! Haku with the same move and valentine reverses with an armbar. Side headlock by the hammer. and an atomic drop and bionic elbow. Haku with chops in the corner and Hammer comes back with his own. Crescent Kick by Haku and stomps to the gut. Haku with a series of backbreakers for 2. Piper pronounces "Snuka Shnooka." LONG Rear Chin Lock by Haku and Valentines breaks free. Back Suplex by the Islander for another 2 count. PREPARE TO FAST FORWARD! Figure four because Haku's legs are too short. Scoop Slam and elbow drop connects. Again Figure four won't go on. Sunset Flip by Hammer gets the win at 8:42. Haku beats him up, but gets sent packing in return. DUD.

 

- Power & Glory (w/ Slick) Vs. The Orient Express (w/. Mr. Fuji):

This is version Kato & Tanaka if you didn't know. I'm guessing TOE are the honorary faces because they don't get boo'd as much as Power & Glory. Kato is Paul "Max Moon" Diamond if you didn't know. 2 Paul Roma matches on one top, oh God that sucks. Kato & Hercules lock up and Herc wins the power game.....several times. Shoulder thrust by Kato and chops to cheers kinda. Hercules pounds Kato in retaliation and drops him with an elbow, but misses another. Tanaka in and they double chop Hercules. Hercules has Tanaka up with a Press Slam for 2. Double clothesline by Power & Glory, and Roma with nothing as he gets crescent kicked. Roma with a clothesline and its sold with a 360 spin. Roma to the top turnbuckle and he comes down with a forearm, he covers but Kato breaks the pin. Kato back in and connects with a flying elbow. Kato drops an elbow for only a 2 count. LOOOOOONG Reverse headlock by Kato is finally broken up by Paul Roma and Fuji trips him up. TOE with a double clothesline. More double teaming by TOE and Tanaka leap frogs over Kato landing on Roma, for a 2 count. Hercules in to clean house and P&G kills TOE for a little while. Drop-kick by Roma to Kato gets 2. Double teaming now by Power & Glory. Kato with the help of Tanaka with a sunset flip for 2. Slick pulls down the ropes causing Kato to land on the outside and its BONZO GONZO with the managers and wrestlers as the referee disqualifies everyone at 8:26. *1/2. Not too bad but the slow pace killed it's heat.

 

- Back to golfing. Heenan picks up someone else's ball and pockets it, then tells the guy it landed 75 yards into the woods.

 

- Paul Bearer at home. No Thank You. Imagine it yourselves. Its a full moon shockingly and he lives in a creepy house. Hey, was that Kane in one of the windows?! Or the girl he murdered around this same time. Who knows? Who cares.

 

- Main Event Match:

Ultimate Warrior Vs. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer):

I can tell this is a Canadian house show, but who really cares about it? It's not MSG, so tough cheese. Joey Morella is the referee for this one, for some reason I feel like mentioning it due to Undertakers never ending pre-match undressing. Maybe Paul used to the urn to keep Taker at bay because it had "Kane's" ashes in it, but the undertaker would then turn on Bearer because it was empty when he opened it. Why can't WWF be this smart? Warrior pounds away and puts the boots to him. Clothesline in the corner of the ring and another send Taker to the outside. Warrior stupidly goes for Taker and rightfully so, Taker drops him across the top rope by his neck. Choke by Taker, the first in 90 seconds. Actually its just choking his jaw. Hilarious. That lasted 2 minutes. Warrior breaks free, and they exchange blows, but Taker puts him back down. More choking by Undertaker and Warriors flat on his face. Elbow drop misses by Taker's up quickly. Warrior with some boots and a body slam to The Undertaker. Clothesline! Another! And Another! Thrust by Taker and he tombstones Warrior back to Arizona. He waits too long and Warrior gets up at a 2 count. Warrior Up by Undertaker cleans his clock with the urn for the disqualification at 7:43. Taker goes for the body bag treatment but Warrior breaks out just in time to chase the 2 evil doers off. Match was 1/4* barely.

 

-We find out Heenan didn't pay for use of the golf course so he speeds away in his cart as Gene & The Course Ranger chase after him. OJ Simpson it ain't. Mooney says good better for Coliseum Video.

 

THE FINAL ANALYSIS: This tape is mediocre at best, with not too much exciting matches, and the Haku & Barbarian matches killed the middle of this tape. Although Perfect/Bulldog, and the 6 man tag matches were decent its not enough to save this. Slight Recommendation to Avoid.

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

That Power & Glory/Orient Express match sounds interesting. Heel vs. Heel matches were really rare in those days.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

main reason the match got a low raitng is because of the fact it was all heels, so the crowd just dozed off, or cheered one team at one point, and then booed them about 30 seconds later. Just chaos to the EXTREME! (lol, making fun of heyman rules)