OAOMEF Breakout! 10/10/02

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

OAOMEF: Breakout! October 10th 2002

 

Backstage in his locker room, Angle-Plex is warming up.

Thunderkid and Reject arrive at the arena, TK with his USTV title.

Brock Lesnar is WALKING~!

Derek The Fish admires his reflection in his OAOMEF Cruiserweight Title.

JINGUS is torturing a small animal.

Mystery Eskimo is sitting at his Chairman's desk, staring at the OAOMEF big gold belt in front of him.

 

BOOM!

 

O

A

O

M

E

F

 

BREAKOUT!

 

Fozzy's "The Mob Rules" plays as the OAOMEF arena lights up in a storm of pyros. The fans pop big as J.T.Wheeler makes his entrance, waving to the fans as he makes his way down and sits at the announce table. J.T. puts on headphones and waves again.

 

JT: Thanks to this wonderful crowd for that reception! The OAOMEF fans truly are the best in wrestling!

Good evening, and welcome to BREAKOUT! The whole of the OAOMEF is on a knife's edge tonight as we await a huge, huge championship match. It's Mystery Eskimo vs Angle-Plex. Let's go back to last week, and see how this match came to be.

 

We cut to a video of Mystery Eskimo vs Chris Jericho from last week:

 

Jericho pulls Eskimo up, and locks on a sleeper, attempting his sleeperslam, but Eskimo hits a jawbreaker to counter! Both men are down. Eskimo uses the ropes to pull himself up, as Jericho charges at him! Eskimo turns with Y2J's momentum, rolling him into a cradle...Eskimo gets his feet on the ropes...a handful of tights...1....2....3!

 

JT: Eskimo is still champion, but at what price? The fans here don't like it, and I have to say I don't like it either! We deserved to see a clean winner here tonight, BAH GAWD! Well fans, that's it for another addition of- wait, there's a man in the ring! A masked man! That damn Popick is back again! GET HIM ESKIMO! KICK HIS ASS!

 

The masked man has a chair, and smashes first Jericho, then Eskimo with it. He then puts Eskimo in...

 

JT: AN ANKLE LOCK! BAH GAWD! IT'S...IT'S....

 

The masked man releases the lock and pulls of the mask

 

JT: ITS ANGLE-PLEX! CIVIL WAR IN THE OAOMEF CONTINUES!

 

AP: I came out here earlier tonight to demand a reward for my victory in the battle royal, and all I got was ambushed by Popick! I lost my damn USTV title because of you Eskimo! I shouldn't have even been in a match with some jobber! I should have been in the main event. NOW, DO I GET MY OAOMEF WORLD TITLE SHOT?

 

AP stick the mic in front of Eskimo, who dosn't say anything.

 

AP: DO I?

 

Eskimo beckons AP to come closer, but as he does Eskimo spins and kicks AP in the head! The two men start exchanging blows and Eskimo hits AP with a BLIZZARD BOMB! Eskimo is stomping on AP when "Just got wicked" plays and Superstar and JINGUS race out to the ring! JINGUS picks up Eskimo in one hand, and AP in the other and holds them apart.

 

SS: What the hell is this? We're here to beat the OAOAST, not each other! I can see there's only one way to settle this. Very well, Angle-Plex gets his title shot here next week, in this very ring! BUT, to ensure fair play, I will be the referee and JINGUS the special ring enforcer!

 

The crowd pops!

 

We cut back to J.T. on this weeks show.

 

JT: Well fans, that match is here, live, tonite! Eskimo and Plex will surely have to fight a fair game with Superstar and JINGUS in control of the match. But we have a packed show for you before our huge main event. Let's head straight to the ring for our first match up!

 

OAOMEF Cruiserweight Title

Triple Threat

Derek The Fish vs Shark Boy vs Reject

 

"Theme from Reject" plays as Reject enters, holding up his OAOMEF tag title belt. With his partner Thunderkid claiming USTV title gold last week, Reject is out for a little singles glory of his own.

 

Shark Boy's music plays (anyone?) as the masked fish impersonator runs out to the ring, saluting the fans as he looks to regain the CW title.

 

"Cigarettess & Alcohol" starts and Derek The Fish comes down to the ring on the shoulders of the Derekettes, Torrie and Trish. Behind them walks Eskimo's butler, Waltman, carrying the OAOMEF CW title on a red pillow.

 

Reject and Shark Boy look at each other as Derek parades round the ring. He tries to lift up the title belt to show the crowd but its too heavy, and Derek drops it on his own head. SB and Reject rush over to try for a pin as the bell sounds, but get in each others way and Derek is able to roll out of the ring. SB and Reject exchange punches, with Reject getting the upper hand.

 

JT: The Cruiserweight champ takes an early breather as these two young stars go at it!

 

Reject whips SB off the ropes and nails him with a flying clothesline. Reject goes for the cover, but only gets 1. Reject hits SB with a couple of punches and plants him with a DDT that gets 2. Meanwhile Derek has climbed to the top rope and as Reject turns round flys off the top with a body press! Reject stands his ground and Derek bounces off the chest of Reject and out of the ring again!

 

JT: (laughing off mic)

 

SB is up and dropkicks Reject. As Reject gets up, SB hits him with a spinkick and gets 2. Derek is back in the ring again and SB goes to stomp on him, but Reject is up and hits SB with a reverse DDT, and goes after Derek himself. Derek is running round and round the ring frantically. Reject pursues him until SB trips him up and he crashes into the ring post, knocking him out cold! SB kips up and tries to kick Derek, but Derek dodges. Another attempt fails. Derek grins and waves to the crowd to a pop, but as he does so SB kicks him square in the head and Derek crumples onto the mat. SB covers...1...2...3!

 

Result: Shark Boy via kick to head in 5.45

 

JT: (chuckling) Fans, the reign of Derek the Fish lasted just a week! Shark Boy is a 2 time OAOMEF champ! We'll be right back after this break with Thunderkid defending his USTV title!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

OAOMEF USTV Title

Thunderkid vs ?

 

"God of Thunder" plays as Thunderkid strolls to the ring, looking cocky as he points to his title belt. TK grabs a mic and stands in the centre of the ring to a decent pop.

 

TK: Hey, did anyone watch IZHD over on the OAOAST network Monday nite?

 

:: Fans boo ::

 

TK: Yeah, I know, I know, it sucks, but I was there, and I got through to the next round of the OAOAST USTV title No 1 contenders tournament! Soon, I will have both OAOAST and OAOMEF versions of the USTV title, and I will unify them into the ThunderKid USTV title, or, the TKUSTV title! Isn't that great? In fact-

 

TK is cut off by "Smack my bitch up" as Angle-plex walks to the ring, looking pissed. He snatches the mic of TK.

 

AP: Oh, shut the fuck up, you jumped up jobber!

 

:: Crowd pops! ::

 

AP: Three things! One: You only have that belt because Popick screwed me last week! Two: At Doomsday, I will BEAT Popick for the OAOAST USTV title and you will NEVER take that from me!

 

TK: Er, you said three.

 

AP: Yeah. Three: Here's your challenger for tonight.

 

Verdi's "Requiem" plays as the lights dim and the monster JINGUS appears! The arena fills with flashes of white light as the music swells. AP stands, grinning horribly at TK, who swallows and looks at the exits. But AP cheapshots him and throws him into the ring. JINGUS stops next to Angle-plex and the two men shake!

 

JT: Eskimo will not be pleased about that! But Thunderkid will be even less pleased - if he can hang onto his title here it will be a minor miracle, fans!

 

The bell sounds and TK gets to his feet after AP's blow. He looks up to see JINGUS towering over him. JINGUS raises his hand and offers TK a test of strength, which TK ACCEPTS! TK strains hard but can't budge the massive arm of JINGUS, who grins and slams TK to the mat. JINGUS pulls TK back up and slams him into the corner buckle, and then charges in with an avalanche that crushes TK. JINGUS gives TK a shoulderbreaker and elbow drop and covers, but somehow TK is out at 2.

 

JT: JINGUS treating Thunderkid like a jobber here fans! But the Kid is hanging in there.

 

JINGUS picks up TK with one hand and slams him back to the mat...and then traps him in an STF! The massive weight of the monsters body seems likely to crush the leg of TK! JINGUS' shouts of triumph mix with TK's terrifying screams of agony as the crowd quietens, listening for TK to give up. But TK shakes his head! He won't quit! JINGUS, frustrated, breaks the hold.

 

JT: That could be a mistake by JINGUS! He could have ended the match and maybe even TK's career right there!

 

TK limps to his feet and JINGUS charges in with a clothesline, but TK ducks and JINGUS crashes into the referee! The ref goes down and stays down. TK grins and slides out of the ring, returning with a chair! JINGUS checks on the ref, but as he turns TK smashes him full in the face with the chair. JINGUS no-sells totally and lurches after TK, throwing punches. TK tries another chairshot, but the monster ignores that too. TK is flustered and throws the chair at JINGUS, who catches it. But TK sees a chance and dropkicks the chair back into the face of JINGUS, who SELLS and goes down. TK sets up the chair and gives JINGUS the Thunderbolt DDT directly onto it! TK with the cover! The ref crawls over....1.....2.......NO! JINGUS out at 2.999999! JINGUS with the zombie sit up, and TK is SHOCKED! TK takes the chair and starts to batter JINGUS in the face and head with it, drawing the DQ.

 

JT: TK saved his title, and JINGUS is taking a beating here!

 

TK gives JINGUS another Thunderbolt DDT and leaves. JINGUS has been busted open and shockingly EMT's run out with a stretcher for the monster! It takes 10 men to carry JINGUS backstage.

 

JT: Well TK is still USTV champion, but I would NOT like to be in his shoes when that HOSS JINGUS recovers and comes after him, BAH GAWD! Fans, next we have an interview recorded earlier today, in which I sat down with Mystery Eskimo to discuss, amongst other things, the state of the OAOMEF and his match tonite.

 

We cut to JT and ME in ME's office.

 

JT: Mystery, we are now a month into the OAOMEF. How do you feel things have gone so far?

 

ME: So far, JT, we've achieved a great deal. We have our flagship show, Breakout, that's pulling in good ratings. We're putting on good matches with a limited roster. But there's more to come, JT, much much more. At OAOAST Doomsday, most of the OAOAST's belts will be ours. That's not a boast, not a prediction, just a statement of fact.

 

JT: Later on today, you face Angle-Plex. Do-

 

ME: Let me stop you *right* there, JT. I recruited Plex for the OAOMEF because he's a damn fine wrestler. End of story.

 

JT: But last week, he virtually bullied you into giving him this title shot!

 

ME: He did no such thing! Here in the OAOMEF we reward talent and (Eskimo looks insincere) Angleplex is a very talented wrestler.

 

JT: What if AP comes away with the title? How will that affect your relationship?

 

ME: Goddamit JT, I'm not paying you to be a proper journa- er...I mean...AP and I will go out, put on a fair match, and when I've won he will recognise his place and his true goal of the OAOAST USTV title, not MY belt.

 

JT: Superstar and JINGUS are involved in the match too. Can you trust them?

 

ME: Of course.

 

JT: But you trusted Angle-plex, and last week he attacked you with a chair. And on OAOAST IZHD, he-

 

ME: That's enough, JT. I thought you wanted *my* thoughts? All I'm hearing is Agnes this, Agnes that. The guy got a title shot. Fine. End of story.

 

JT: But-

 

ME: Hush.

 

JT: Well-

 

ME: Is this about Angle-plex?

 

JT: If you'll-

 

ME: IS IT?

 

JT: Er......................no. Its about..........

 

ME: It was, wasn't it?

 

JT: Yes.

 

ME: Dammit JT, I set up this fed! ME! ME! I can't even get the spotlight when I write the interviews! This segment is SO over!

 

:: Eskimo storms out ::

 

We cut back to JT.

 

JT: Well fans, you saw there that Eskimo is, ah, a little het up over Angle-Plex. That's still to come. You might also have noticed I was speaking a little less, ahem, boldly than usual! That was due to laziness on the part of our editor here... Anyway, when we come back, the OAOMEF world tag team champions will be in action!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

We are backstage, where Eskimo is sitting in his office, behind his desk. His hand is moving up and down furiously and Eskimo is sighing heavily. The camera pans to reveal Eskimo polishing the OAOMEF world title. Suddenly, the phone rings. Eskimo answers.

 

ME: Yeah?

ME: What the hell do YOU want?

ME: Oh, I see...

ME: Well, what-

ME: Uh-huh

ME: Right.

ME: Sure.

ME: I'll arrange it. But this is the last time we-

ME: Hello?

ME: Bastard hung up on me!

 

Eskimo throws down the phone. He looks up to see JINGUS has appeared. JINGUS is actually BLEEDING~! after the vicious assault from Thunderkid.

 

ME: JINGUS, good to see you. Happy birthday! Isn't it great we share the exact same day of birth, and that we'll soon be OAOAST World Tag Team Champions? In fact-

JINGUS: Thunderkid. Street fight. OAOMEF USTV title. Next week. Got it?

ME: Er....yeah. Sure. I'll tell Superstar. Hey, want some cake?

 

Cut to Derek the Fish sitting in a corridor, with an ice pack on his head, muttering about Cruiserweight titles and lack of beer. Angle-plex walks past, but stops and looks at Derek.

 

AP: Like a drink, Derek?

Derek: Oh, very funny, you son of a bastard whore fucker!

AP: Woh, easy there potty mouth. I might have a way out of your legal predicament.

Derek: Oh yeah? What is it?

AP: Well....I don't know if I want to trust you with my knowledge. Why don't you prove yourself worthy of it...say....tonight...and I'll see about helping you out? OK?

 

AP walks off. Derek sits, deep in thought. And pain.

 

JT: I have no idea why or how we employ a talking fish here but I have to say I like it! That little guy is a STUD! More titles on the line fans, right now!

 

One fall, 15 minute time limit

OAOMEF World Tag Team Championships

Hulk Hogan & Chris Benoit vs. Reject & Thunderkid ©

 

The immortal riff of “Voodoo chili” hits and out struts Hollywood Hulk Hogan to a big pop, followed by a stubborn Chris Benoit to an even bigger reaction. Why? He’s decked out in red and yellow, brother! Hogan acts like they’re best buddies, but Benoit ignores him as they enter the ring.

 

“God of Thunder” hits and OMG! It’s the OAOMEF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, Reject and (the OAOMEF USTV Champion) Thunderkid! They enter to a great reaction, as Thunderkid is having success in BOTH the OAOAST and OAOMEF. The bell rings and it’s ON LIKE DONKEY KONG~!

 

Benoit and Reject start out. They immediately get into a chop-fest, which Benoit wins, before hitting a stiff elbow to Reject’s face. Benoit backs into his corner to charge with a clothesline, but Hogan tags himself in, much to the chagrin of Benoit!

 

JT: MAH GAWD…It doesn’t look like Benoit is liking Hogan too much right now.

 

Hogan hits the immortal punches of death on Reject, but Reject gets an eye rake and proceeds to-go-old-school-on-Hogan,attacking-him-with-an-axe-handle-and-a-bodyslam,garnering-a-one-count.Reject-decides-to-stop-annoying-the-crowd-with-his-old-school-style, so he BUSTS OUT A DROPKICK and enziguri on Hogan, who no-sells. Reject, pissed off, tags in Thunderkid who starts stiffing the shit out of Hogan. Being the crazy old man he is, Hogan starts crying.

 

JT: IN 25 PLUS YEARS, I’ve never seen Terry Thunderlips cry!

 

Thunderkid shows no mercy with a vertical suplex and multiple elbow drops for a two count. He then picks Hogan up and delivers a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER~! Cover: 1…2…NO! Hogan got his foot on the rope. Benoit is BEGGING to be tagged in, but Hogan will have none of it! In fact, Hogan ducks a TK charge and gives him a ((weak)) back suplex! TK must be out cold! The crowd is ALSO begging Hogan to make a tag…and he DOES! Yet, he holds the rope for Benoit and hugs him, and in a move Mr. Magoo could have seen from miles away, pulls Benoit into a clothesline! He picks him up and delivers a big boot and LEGDROP~! Thunderkid covers: 1…2…3!!!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! THAT RAT BASTARD HULK HOGAN JUST TURNED HEEL…AGAIN!

 

Winners, and still champions: Reject & Thunderkid in 3:13 via a heel turn, brother.

 

JT: Reject & Thunderkid are still champions. But Thunderkid has a big problem in the shape of JINGUS! It's just been confirmed- next week, JINGUS vs Thunderkid, a street fight for the OAOMEF USTV title! BAH GAWD, its going to be BRUTAL! Fans, we're heading for the X title match up, after these messages!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

One fall, 15 minute time limit

OAOMEF X CHAMPIONSHIP

Brock Lesnar vs. The Superstar ©

 

“Theme from Brock Lesnar” hits and out comes the Next Big Thing to the next big POP~! He does his happy Lesnar dance before entering the ring with a look of determination in his eyes. He pinned Superstar last week in a tag match…will he do it again?

“Just Got Wicked” hits and out comes the OAOMEF X Champion and Commissioner to deafening boos and “Supershit” chants. Suddenly, these chants morph into “Shave your legs!” chants, and Superstar starts screaming at the fans and covers his ears! He’s still showing signs of the Deathcore Battle Royal on IZHD, with scars on his face, and on his legs (*cough*)

 

Superstar grabs a mic before the match

 

SS: Now Lesnar…I’m not exactly in a condition to perform tonight, much less defend this X Championship. So let’s just shake hands and call it a night. I promise I’ll defend next week. Honestly!

 

::Extends his hand, which Lesnar accepts::

 

Suddenly, Superstar pulls Lesnar in and attempts a clothesline, but Lesnar ducks and starts going crazy on the champion with headbutts and shoulder blocks! Superstar stumbles…right into a POWERBOMB! AND ANOTHER ONE! GOING FOR A THIRD…SPIDER BOMB~! Superstar is out! Cover: 1…2…NO! He’s still alive! Lesnar signals for the F5…but Superstar sneaks in a low blow!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! AH HOPE THAT BASTARD SUPERSTAR GETS WHAT HE HAS COMIN TO HIM!

 

With Lesnar doubled over, Superstar attempts a sunset flip, but in a Rikishi-like twist, it is reversed for a two count. Lesnar gets a quick powerslam for another two count. Superstar fights back with chops, and hits a flying forearm, followed by a vertical suplex for two. He picks up Lesnar again…BRAINBUSTER! The champion finally brings Lesnar into the corner, and tells the ref to check the match time. While the ref is occupied, Superstar re-debuts the WELL PLACED KICK TO THE NUTS~!!! Lesnar howls in pain, allowing Superstar to climb up top…SUPERSPLASH~!!!!!!!!!!! However, the impact knocks Lesnar all the way out of the ring!

 

JT: GOOD GRIEF! IT WOULDA BEEN OVER THERE!

 

Superstar charges to the outside with a somersault plancha, but Lesnar moves and Superstar lands spine-first onto the cold, hard concrete! Lesnar drops Superstar sternum-first onto the guardrail, before giving him the patented SHOULDER THRUSTS~! Back in the ring, Lesnar hits a belly-to-belly release suplex for two. He goes for another, but Superstar reverses into a German Suplex, with a bridge! Cover: 1…2…NO! Superstar signals for a Tiger Driver, but Lesnar powers out, into a Fireman’s Carry!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! IT’S F5 TIME!

 

However, out from the back sprints Kevin Nash! He runs into the ring, charges at Lesnar, and TEARS HIS QUADRICEP!

 

JT: NOT AGAIN!

 

As Nash falls, he hits Lesnar, which takes Superstar out of the F5 position. However, it causes Superstar to stumble into Nash, who tears his OTHER QUAD!

 

JT: OH MAH GAWD! KEVIN NASH JUST TORE BOTH OF HIS QUADRICEPS MUSCLES TONIGHT!

 

Lesnar laughs it off, and signals for an F5 as Superstar is getting up. However, in a last ditch effort, Nash tries to punch Brock in the quadriceps. However, Nash tears his BICEP~! Causing him to hit Superstar on accident! Superstar doubles over, allowing Lesnar to hit the F5!!!! COVER: 1…2…………..3!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! MAH GAWD! MAH GAWD! LESNAR DID IT! WITH AN UNLIKELY ASSIST BY THAT CRIPPLE KEVIN NASH, BROCK LESNAR HAS CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN!

Superstar immediately starts crying.

 

Winner, and new champion: Brock Lesnar in 9:55 via Kevin Nash fucking up and an F5.

 

Nash is loaded onto a stretcher and we follow him out of the building. Nash is loaded onto an ambulance and driven away. Seconds later, another ambulance arrives, and ask what happened to Nash!

 

JT: BAH GAWD! NASH GOT INTO A FAKE AMBULANCE! WHO HAS KIDNAPPED KEVIN NASH? AND IN THE NAME OF GAWD, WHY! THEY'LL HAVE TO KEEP HIS HAIR IN CONDITION, MAH GAWD, THAT COULD COST MILLIONS!

 

We cut back to the ring where Lesnar is still celebrating when Superstar appears on the stage, tears streaking his face.

 

SS: LESNAR! You think you’re some big fucking hotshot for beating me tonight. Well I’ll tell you something. I’M THE OAOMEF COMMISSIONER! Do you realize what that means? From this moment on, I’m going to make YOUR LIFE a living hell! Especially considering you needed OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE to defeat me! As a matter of fact…why don’t you come up the aisle and face me like a man?

 

JT: BAH GAWD! WHY DOESN’T SUPERSTAR GO TO LESNAR?! THAT YELLA BELLY!

 

Lesnar walks up the aisle with determination…but slips and lands on his ass! Despite the fact that he’s a fan favorite, the crowd cracks up. Lesnar gets up, shakes it off, and continues striding up the aisle, until he falls flat on his face! The crowd yuks it up again, but Superstar has more to say.

 

SS: Oh, oh, oh. That is TOO funny. And I’ll tell you what; that’s some pretty bad luck. Almost like…someone put a curse on you. A *VOODOO* curse. Heh.

 

Suddenly, a masked man comes behind Lesnar, spins him around, and gives him a shoulder breaker on the cold, hard concrete! The man takes off his mask…

 

JT: MAH GAWD!!!!!!! IT’S PAPA SHANGO~!

 

Shango and Superstar continue to put the boots to Lesnar as Superstar continues.

 

SS: Oh, I almost forgot to mention…you’re going to defend that X Title next week against my hand picked opponent, the voodoo master Papa Shango! Good *luck*, champ.

 

Superstar and Shango leave to major heat. Lesnar eventually gets up and starts heading up the aisle, only to have part of the steel scaffolding around the Eskimo Tron fall on his head, knocking him out cold! The EMTs come to the rescue, dragging Brock's beaten (and cursed) body backstage.

 

JT: MAH GAWD, WHAT A HOSS THAT PAPA SHANGO IS! THAT MATCH IS GOING TO BE HOSS-ERIFIC FANS! NEXT UP, THE OAOMEF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE, BAH GAWD!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

OAOMEF World Heavyweight Title

Mystery Eskimo vs Angle-Plex

 

"Smack my bitch up" plays and AP strides out to the ring, looking determined. Already in the ring are Superstar, wearing a ref's shirt, and JINGUS. AP gets a mixed reaction, and as he slides into the ring he looks at SS and JINGUS uneasily. Will they call the match fairly, or favour their employer, Eskimo?

"Ice Ice Baby" starts up and Eskimo walks out, getting mostly cheers as he displays the big gold belt. In the ring, Eskimo talks to both SS and JINGUS, pointing at AP and shaking his head.

 

JT: Eskimo trying to convince SS and JINGUS that AP is the enemy!

 

But SS and JINGUS shrug, and SS signals for the start of the match. JINGUS gets out of the ring to watch from the floor. Eskimo and AP's eyes meet and they stare at each other across the ring. The fans start to chank "ESK-I-MO! ESK-I-MO!", but then another section of the arena starts singing "AN-GLE-PLEX! AN-GLE-PLEX!" in response. The two men walk towards each other and end up nose to nose as SS holds up the OAOMEF World Heavyweight title. The bell rings and AP immediately knocks ME to the mat with a punch. ME leaps back up, but AP uses an armdrag takeover. ME rolls back to his feet and glares at AP as the crowd pops! They lock up, with ME getting the upper hand and forcing AP down to one knee. SS checks on both men. Eskimo continues to apply pressure to the shoulders and back of AP, but AP fights back and gets to his feet. They break, and AP nails ME with a dropkick. ME gets back up and swats aside another dropkick before going for the FROSTBITE FACELOCK in the middle of the ring! But AP rolls to escape and kicks Eskimo in the head. As AP approaches Eskimo swings his arm for a low blow but SS blocks it and shakes his head at Eskimo!

 

JT: So far nothing between these men, and SS calling it right down the middle!

 

ME glares at SS and they argue, allowing AP to attack from behind, giving ME a bulldog! AP goes for the ANKLELOCK but ME kicks him off, and grabs Plex to deliver a pair of German suplezes. ME goes up top, and nails AP with a flying legdrop to his throat! 1...2....No, AP kicks out. Eskimo pulls up Plex and hits the KILLERWHALEPLEX! 1...2..NO! Eskimo hits another! 1....2....NO! Another! 1...2....NO! Eskimo gets up and stomps on AP, furious. He pulls Plex to his feet and attempts a BLIZZARD BOMB, but AP elbows him in the side of the head to make him let go. AP staggers back, and ME is able to nail him with the IGLOO DDT! 1...2....NO!

 

JT: ANGLE-PLEX WON'T BE PUT AWAY! ESKIMO IS TRYING EVERTHING HE KNOWS HERE!

 

Eskimo is SHOCKED, and climbs to the top again! He leaps off with the FLYING ICICLE HEADBUTT...which MISSES! AP rolls aside and ME crashes onto the mat. AP pulls himself up and hits Eskimo with a belly to back suplex, which gets 2. AP signals for the ANGLEPLEX, but Eskimo pushes hard and both men end up in the ropes, where SS makes them break. AP immediately hits Eskimo with a roundhouse kick to the head, and then SPEARS him! AP goes for the cover, but SS refuses to count past 2! Spears are not allowed as a finisher in the OAOMEF. AP nods in acceptance and drags Eskimo to the corner. AP goes to the top rope....MOONSAULT! 1...2...NO, Eskimo kicks out. AP goes straight for the Anklelock, and Eskimo is dragged into the middle of the ring! SS checks on him, but Eskimo shakes his head, trying to twist....and he manages to kick free and drag AP into the Frostbite Facelock! AP tries to move to the ropes, but can't shift ME's weight. Instead AP grabs Eskimo's leg and drags it close...and applies the Anklelock! Both men shout in pain!

 

JT: BAH GAWD, THESE MEN WERE WATCHING UNFORGIVEN!

SS is checking on both men...but someone's coming down the ailse! It's Thunderkid! He has a mic!

 

TK: I hate to interrupt this fine match, but after learning of my match with JINGUS next week, I felt it my duty to inform the owner of the OAOMEF, the commisioner, and all the fans here tonight of something very important!

 

SS walks over to the edge of the ring, and shouts at TK. In the ring, both men are fading! AP's grip on Eskimo's ankle slips, and ME releases AP from the facelock and rolls onto his back. One of AP's arms falls onto Eskimo...1..2..3!

 

JT: AP just got a pin! BAH GAWD! That should have been it! Thunderkid saving Eskimo!

 

TK: I have to let you all know....that JINGUS....IS A MURDERER!

 

The OAOMEF crowd cheers!

 

TK: No, no, its a bad thing! He killed a person! Called...er....Katie Dick!

 

OAOMEF Crowd: JIN-GUS! JIN-GUS!

 

TK: Goddamit!

 

TK throws down the mic...and runs as JINGUS comes chasing after him! TK and JINGUS run up the ailse to the back, leaving SS in sole control.

 

Meanwhile, both men in the ring are slowly coming to and pulling themselves up. SS turns back to the action as Eskimo and AP start exhanging stiff chops. AP gets the upper hand and hits ME with a DDT, followed by a vertical suplex that gets 2. AP goes up top but Eskimo is up and chases after him, and they fight it out on the top rope! Eskimo gets the upper hand...and suddenly hooks on a full nelson! ME shifts AP into position, and comes off with a KILLERWHALEPLEX off the top rope! Both men crash to the mat and Eskimo can't hold on for the pin.

 

JT: BAH GAWD! OFF THE TOP ROPE! ANGLE-PLEX'S NECK MAY BE BROKEN!

Eskimo crawls over and covers Plex....as Derek the Fish runs out of the crowd into the ring! 1...2...3! But SS is distracted by Derek and dosnt make the pin!

 

JT: NO! THAT FISHY FIEND HAS TURNED HIS BACK ON ESKIMO! WHAT A HEINOUS ACT!

 

SS tries to shove Derek out of the ring, but can't get his hands on the slippery Derek. Eskimo is still covering, a little dazed from his own impact with the mat, and has no idea what's going on. SS chases Derek round the ring and finally manages to kick him, so hard that Derek flies out into the crowd! SS sees the pin! 1....2....3! NO, 2! AP kicked out!

 

Eskimo swears in anger, and hoists AP up for a POWERBOMB, but you CAN'T POWERBOMB AGNES, and he crushes ME's face into the mat.

 

Eskimo and AP are down and lie on the mat, both hurting, as BIG POPPA POPICK walks up the ailse, swinging a steel chair and waving to the OAOMEF fans!

 

JT: NO! NOT THAT BASTARD AS WELL! CAN'T THESE MEN JUST PUT ON A WRESTLING MATCH?

 

Superstar sees Popick and immediatly calls for security. But Popick shows them a pass, and it seems to be genuine as the security shrug and don't touch him.

 

JT: WHAT THE HELL? HOW DID POPICK GET AN OAOMEF PASS? THEY ALL HAVE TO BE VETTED BY MYSTERY ESKIMO HIMSELF!

 

SS jumps out of the ring to attack BPP, but he's still weak from his match with Lesnar and BPP gives him a Synchroncity Bomb onto the floor! BPP enters the ring, and looks at Eskimo, and at Angle-plex!

 

JT: WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO? BPP HAS ALWAYS HAD ISSUES WITH BOTH THESE MEN? WHY CAN'T HE KEEP HIS NOSE OUT?

 

BPP smashes AP with the chair! And again! And again! And again! AP is busted open.

 

JT: NO! NO! NO! POPICK! POPICK! POPICK! YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!

 

BPP grins as the OAOMEF crowd errupts in boos. BPP picks up Eskimo and shows him the fallen AP. Eskimo smiles and nods his head...but BPP nails him with the chair too! BPP hits ME twice more, and then drags his body ontop of Angle-Plex's! Superstar is back up and into the ring with a chair of his own, and Popick hightails it out of there, retreating back up the ailse, waving the blood stained chair and grinning!

 

SS is furious, and stomps the ring, shaking the ropes. He looks at Eskimo on top of Plex. He shakes his head but gets to the mat. He counts reluctantly and slowly....1.......2.........3!

 

Result: Winner, and STILL OAOMEF World Heavyweight Champion, Mystery Eskimo via BPP interference in 21.23

 

JT: POPICK TOOK OUT ANGLE-PLEX AND ESKIMO TOO! THAT BASTARD ESKIMO LET POPICK IN TO HELP HIM WIN, BUT HE DIDNT COUNT ON POPICK HELPING HIM LIKE THAT! BPP HAS LAID OUT HIS OPPONENT FOR THE USTV TITLE AT DOOMSDAY AS WELL AS ESKIMO, WHO FACES HIM IN THE DEATHMATCH TOURNAMENT! POPICK IS AN EVIL GENIUS!

 

Superstar has picked up a mic.

 

SS: I think everyone hear in this arena wishes I hadn't had to make that count!

 

The OAOMEF crowd agrees loudly.

 

SS: I wish I hadn't made it too. But this match was out of control and it needed to stop. So next week...

 

Crowd pops!

 

SS: Next week, we'll have Angle-Plex vs Mystery Eskimo, and this time, it will be a match that no one can interfere with...a match where the participants are locked inside HELL IN A CELL!

 

Crowd pops!

 

EMT's are attending to AP and ME, both bleeding heavily.

 

JT: BAH GAWD! WHAT A SHOW WE'VE HAD! WHAT A SHOW IT WILL BE NEXT WEEK! HELL IN A CELL! HELL IN A GOD DAMN CELL! ANGLE-PLEX GETS ANOTHER SHOT! WE'RE OUT OF TIME FANS! TILL NEXT WEEK, I'm JT WHEELER, GOODNIGHT!

 

Producers

Mystery Eskimo

Superstar

 

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