Dating your best friend?

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Supa, I do agree with your stand point on this. Alot of the not going further is the fear of being rejected or after the relationship ends you will be very akward. But like I did state before, if you never try you will always wonder what if. If you have a strong friendship then whatever happens shouldn't really affect you both. I don't want people to think it won't be hard on both, because it will be but you both in time will be able to push passed it and still have a healthy friendship. And maybe I would suggest talking with the girl first and just subtly trying to get answers out of her about how she feels about you.

[Guest SupaTaft]

My strategy in this situation is to let the other person make the first move. Or at least claim that they did and after you come out with your feelings and they turn you down claim that they were sinding out all the signals. Bada-bing! No hurt feelings and you can go on being friends, and you're friend will get the notion that you are interested and keep that in the back of her mind.

 

Word.

 

-Taft

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I call my Boomstick my Clubberin Club. I also call my ammunition Unkind Words. You think when I say I whack somebody I'm physically hitting them with something also? Ha!

 

(blows away all elephant statues on the way to the building)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest JHawk]

I hate to use country music lyrics to help with a point, but I stumbled onto some that fit the situation. Damn my friends for sending mp3s without telling me what they are.

 

 

She Said Yes

(Joe Doyle/Rhett Akins)

 

He never had given much thought to dancing

But she gave a lot of thought to being asked

Well he'd never been good at coming right on out and asking

And she'd never been given the chance

But something moved him 'cross that old gym floor

When fear was holding fast

And to his surprise the words came at last

 

And she said yes

To his half hearted request

And they held on for dear life

'Til the last song played

They won't let go

It's beyond their control

They lit a flame with the match God had made

When she said yes

 

From that night on the fire was burning

And they sure did shine in its light

And he knew as long as the old world kept turning

He wanted her by his side

So with a ring and a nervous smile

And some lines that he'd rehearsed

He said the sweetest words that she'd ever heard

 

And she said yes

To his whole hearted request

And they held on for dear life

'Til the last stars fade

They won't let go

It's beyond their control

They lit a flame with the match God had made

When she said yes

 

They lit a flame with the match God had made

When she said yes

 

 

 

The moral of the story...give it a shot, she might be thinking the same thing.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

I agree JHawk

[Guest Cancer Marney]

(blows away all elephant statues on the way to the building)

<watches, amused, knowing full well that whatever he's packing, he's completely outgunned>

[Guest SupaTaft]

But what if you give it a shot and she isn't thinking the same thing? Then you lose a friend. Though if they are any friend worth having they wouldn't not be your friend after such a thing.

 

I'm not feelin' country music.

 

-Taft

[Guest JHawk]

Hey, don't say I didn't try to help, but I'm telling you, it's better not to have the regret.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

That's why I said sutbly ask her questions and see if you can see if she is into you like you are into her

[Guest JHawk]

Hey, at least you weren't shot down before you could consider it. One of my best friends flat out said "Don't fall in love with me, I like joking with you about it." Of course, maybe that was her way of hiding her true feelings.

 

Eh, whatever. Seriously, play it cool and see if she gives any signals.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

You could always just go "ya know, 'Amy,' maybe WE should go out some time." Seriously, it might work. I've been saying that to my "Amy" (once again, her actual name) for a year or so, and she's actually considered it honestly a few times.

[Guest Hitman Jebus]

Hitman Je(e)bus' POV:

 

I dated my best friend A.J. and now we don't speak anymore...

 

In other words, if you treasure your friendship with the lady, make sure it's worth the chance before making your move.

 

I say go for it...if you truly believe that if you break up, you can go back to what you once were...unfortunately A.J. and I couldn't

 

Anyway, with best friends, chances are that she would happily welcome to be more than just friends...but the only reservation they have (and should have) is thinking what would happenif it didn't work out?

 

I miss her...but it's complicated and I can't go back...

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

But in a woman's defense JHawk, you guys suck at picking up our signals. Most times we have to be so damn upfront with you guys. Sometimes its best if we just wore signs around our necks or something

[Guest Hitman Jebus]

But in a woman's defense JHawk, you guys suck at picking up our signals. Most times we have to be so damn upfront with you guys. Sometimes its best if we just wore signs around our necks or something

Yes please...spread the word around...WEAR SIGNS!

 

Signals my ass!

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Don't signals my ass me! Us women give you guys every chance and you still don't get it, and you wonder why we look upset at times. And when you ask our response is either "nothing", "I'm fine", or "You should know"

[Guest JHawk]

Want to know how bad I am at reading signals? Pardon the expression, but I made a move on a woman who was more or less on my jock for three months, and she more or less laughed in my face. At that point, I really wanted to know what the hell those signals were supposed to mean, but getting your ego crushed once in an evening is enough.

 

EDIT: And "you should know" is a stupid response to any question. If we knew, we wouldn't ask.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

But the "you should know" answer generally means you did something to piss us off, so you figure it out. I will agree that that answer is stupid, and when I get upset my guy knows it. I don't hold anything back but generally thats what "you should know" really means

[Guest JHawk]

One question:

 

Is having someone tell you to ask someone out a sign that the first someone actually wants you? For example:

 

Say "Mary" tells me I should ask "April" out? Is this a signal that "Mary" likes me? Because I shit you not, I had a "Mary" who claimed that to be true. Sounded rather stupid to me.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Depends on if Mary and April are close friends. If they are, chances are Mary is giving you a good signal from April. But to me telling a friend, to tell this guy I like him is rather stupid. Then again girls were brought up to believe the guy should make the first move so don't actually tell him you like him, have a friend do it instead.

[Guest JHawk]

But I meant that "Mary" was the one who was interested and was still telling me to ask "April" out.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Well then I'm kinda clueless on that. Either she is seeing if you will take the bait or maybe she just wants to be friends

[Guest JHawk]

I was just confused because "Mary" was like, "Don't you know that when a girl encourages you to date, it means she likes you?" And I was like, "That's the stupidest thing I;ve ever heard of. 'I like you, date someone else.' "

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Well some girls try and have good intensions yet don't exactly have a good clue. I can't say I've ever done that but I'm sure there are more that have

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! This situation with "Amy" just got a whole lot more....um....I guess intense. I think I'm going to go for it, just asking her about a casual relationship just to see if anything deeper is there. Why?

 

Last night I was talking to her online, the first time I'd talked since Thursday night when all the lovey-dovey feelings went down. I mentioned the kiss I gave her and told her that it was only meant with friendly intentions, though I do care about her a lot. What does she say?

 

" Oh, I knew you had the best intentions, but it was really special. I'm glad you did."

 

So now I'm left with the aftermath of that feeling that the kiss meant more then I thought originally.......

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Fuck, LotC, I know how THAT feels...

 

Just pray she doesn't like hippies that work at Pizza Hut and are proud to be of Canadian heritage...happened to me and a girl I liked all less than a month ago...

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Corey- Well, we're both proud Canadians so that kinda goes out the window. I'll have to get back to you on that Pizza Hut thing.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

And the hippie thing...

 

Never introduce a girl you're interested in to a Canadian hippie that works at Pizza Hut. It only brings heartache.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

LoTC - she is into you, you need to go for it. Don't let this chance pass you by. I don't know how these signs could get any cleaerer, short of her coming out and saying "dammit I want you so bad"

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Don't do it.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Why shouldn't he go for it? Everything is pointing to date her. The only ones that say don't are the ones that have done it and been shot down horribly