How Austin would handle the Fick angle

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

transcribed..

 

"Katie Vick was a friend o' mine, WHAT?, and Katie Vick is dead. WHAT? I said she is dead. But I didn't kill her. It was an accident, and I am NOT a murderer! See, Katie and I were friends about ten years ago, back when I was Television champion, WHAT? I said TV champion. WHAT? The champion of Television. In fact, she came to my matches and she was probably the only one that cared when I was gettin' beat up. WHAT? When I was getting beat up. I cared about her, too. One night Katie and I, uh - we went to a party and Katie had too much to drink. WHAT? She had a tequila, She had a margarita. She had a root beer. WHAT? She was plastered. So I decided that I should drive her home. I wasn't real familiar with a stick shift, WHAT?, I said I couldn't drive her truck that well, but Katie insisted that we take her car, ah - it was dark... the road was slick 'cause it was raining, WHAT?, because it was raining, WHAT?, because moisture turned into rain and came down in liquid form on the ground, and a animal jumped right out in front of us and he had his beedy eyes on the toughest son of a bitch then in the WCW, and uh...I swerved...swerved to uh, to avoid it, and the car spun out of control and went off the road, and, I was dazed. WHAT? I was confused. WHAT? I wasn't sure where I was. But Katie was killed instantly, WHAT? I said she was dead. But it was an accident!! But it's something that I have to live with, and...something that I've thought about every day since. So, the only thing that I have left to say is what I said to Katie's parents. 'She's dead, and that's all I have to say about that!"

 

*hit HHH music*

 

HHH - "Oh, boo hoo, Austin. Boo hoo. You've got me all choked up with your touching story, Austin. But since you're out here baring your soul, why don't you tell the world the whole truth? Why don't you tell the world how, when the people from that party were questioned, they all said that you were drinking, too, Austin?"

 

Austin - "Oh hell yeah I was drinking. I drank down a half dozen.

 

HHH - "Uh.. Why don't you tell everybody how, when the police got to the accident scene, there were empty beer cans in the car and all around the crime scene."

 

Austin - "Hey, I had to kill some time until the cops showed up. My beer opening hand was almost hurt."

 

"And more importantly, Austin, why don't you explain to the world how, when doctors did the autopsy on Katie Vick's body, the doctors found *your* semen?"

 

Austin - "WHAT?"

 

HHH - "Your semen"

 

Austin - "WHAT?"

 

HHH - "the white discharge from your penis consisting of sperm"

 

Austin - "That's better"

 

HHH - "Yeah.. That's right, Austin.. oh, Katie Vick was a whole lot more than just a 'friend' to you, wasn't she, Austin? The fact is you loved Katie Vick. You were *madly* in love with Katie Vick. The problem was, Katie Vick LIKED you - she didn't love you, Austin. Katie didn't share your 'special' feelings that you had. Come on, Austin, honestly, who can blame her? Look at you. Who could realistically love a redneck freak like you?"

 

Austin - "You big nosed jackass, Beer loves me!"

 

HHH - "Uh.. Now, Austin...I know that you weren't charged with murder, I know you weren't even charged with manslaughter. But Austin, facts are facts."

 

Austin - "HHH, remember when I dropped you in that car? You son of a bitch"

 

HHH - "Um.. yeah.. And the fact is... Austin, the fact is that all this points to you. You know it, I know it, the whole world knows it. YOU - KILLED - KATIE - VICK. But Austin, the question I have is...on that night, did you...force Katie Vick to have sex with you while she was alive....or did you just wait, and do it to her when she was dead?"

 

Austin - "Do you want to know when I had sex with Katie Vick? WHAT? you want to know when I had intercourse with her? WHAT? Let me explain it."

 

*pause*

 

Austin - "If you fans think that I got Katie Vick to give me head while I drove, GIMME A HELL YEAH!"

 

Crowd - "Enfer d'Oh ouais!"

 

Austin - "What?"

 

Crowd - "Ce qui?"

 

Austin - "If you fans think that I had sex with Katie Vick's corpse, GIMME A HELL YEAH!"

 

HHH - "Uh.. hell yeah!"

 

Austin - "You don't count. HHH, I had sex with Katie Vick, and then I drank some beer. Then I made a pina colada. Then I humped her corpse in the coffin. WHAT? I said I got frisky with the non-living. HHH, all that doesn't matter because on Sunday, I'm gonna whoop your ass and THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, CUZ STONE COLD SAID SO!"

 

----

 

later that night

 

Austin - "I'm going out for a beer"

 

*Austin is never seen again in the WWF*

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Austin wouldn't walk out of this angle...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He'd run.

[Guest DJ Jeff]

 

That was good.

[Guest Ace309]

bahaha

 

Still got it, Rob ;-)