OAOMEF Breakout! 10/17/02

[Guest The Superstar]

OAOMEF Breakout!

October 17, 2002

 

Fozzy’s “The Mob Rules” plays and pyro EXPLODES as we are coming to you LIVE (OMG!) from Montreal, Quebec Canada! That’s right, OAOMEF Is staying in the Great White North, eh! And you can bet your ass we’re going to put on a better show than WWE did! TWOOOO!

 

JT Wheeler: Hello everyone, and welcome to OAOMEF Breakout! This show promises surprise after surprise, from our opening match all the way to our shocking Main Event…HELL IN A CELL! We’ll also see a street fight, and all the titles defended. Speaking of surprises, let’s head down to the ring for our 4 DEBUTS HANDICAP MATCH! TWO~!

 

…

 

One fall, 15 minute time limit

??? vs. ???, ???, ???

 

The three-team mystery is making their way out first…as “WAR MARCH” plays and OMG…it’s GOLDBERG, THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, and GIANT GONZALES~!!!!!!!!! This unbeatable team comes out to the lively apathetic Montreal crowd! They get into the ring and do their usual routines; you all know what they are.

 

…

 

“SLOW CHEMICAL” by Finger Eleven plays and out comes that necrophiliac/murderer, KANE!!!!!!!!!!!1111 OMG the crowd goes apeshit even though they witnessed him confess to taking advantage of Katie F/Vick! The bell rings and this MOFO IS ON~!

 

Kane starts by using his typical throat thrusts on all three men, who NO SELL! As Kane is beating on Warrior with right hands, Gonzales catches him with a bodyslam for TWO~! Kane shakes it off, but falls victim to a Warrior shoulder block for TWO~! A Warrior whip is reversed into Kane’s leaping lariat. Cover gets…TWO~! As Goldberg breaks it up with a stomp.

 

JT: FAST AND FURIOUS NO SELLING! TWO!

 

Kane attempts a back suplex, but Warrior flips out and tags in Gonzales. The no-talent ‘wrestler’ and the no-drawing bastard (who is who?!) have a mighty staredown, before Kane chokeslams him out of nowhere! Goldberg runs in and suffers the same fate, and Warrior takes a TOMBSTONE! Kane suddenly pulls something out of his tights…it looks like…a KNIFE! Kane STABS Warrior in the temple! He then SLITS GOLDBERG’S THROAT! Finally, he digs the knife deep into Giant Gonzales’ groinal area! Kane has KILLED ALL THREE MEN! He covers the dead pile: and gets TWO~! No wait, THREE!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’VE JUST SEEN!

 

Winner: Kane in 3:54 via MURDER~!

 

Kane celebrates, but suddenly Triple H appears with a microphone!

 

HHH: Kane, you may think you’re happy, with this big win you got tonight. But let me ask you something…how happy are El Gigante, Dingo Warrior, and Bill Goldberg? That’s right Kane, I KNOW. One minute ago…you KILLED THEM. Kane…YOU…ARE A MURDERER!

 

JT: BAH GAWD!

 

Kane goes apathetic as the Montreal crowd chants “TWO!”

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

Eskimo is in his office, dealing with paperwork. He signs a couple of contracts, grinning. Suddenly the door burst open and Derek The Fish walks in to a big pop from the watching crowd! Eskimo jumps up, looking angry.

 

ME: You have the nerve to show your face after what you tried to do to me last week? You turned on me! You tried to help that damn Angle-plex!

 

DTF: I know...and I'm here...to apologize!

 

ME: And you...huh...what?

 

DTF: I'm here to say I'm sorry. I betrayed my oldest and closest friend for alcohol. I remember the day we first met...you saved me from being eaten by a polar bear. You saw there was something special about me.

 

ME: Well, yes. I'd never seen a fish swear quite so much as you.

 

DTF: And you cared for me. You helped me be more than a fish. You made me a celebrity. But alcohol ruined me. That's why...I'm leaving both the OAOMEF and the OAOAST!

 

ME: WHAT? Where will you go?

 

DTF: I'm going into rehab. I don’t know how long it will take, but I will be back, and I *will* be sober.

 

ME: Oh my...OH! This is all a joke isn’t it! HAHAHAHA!

 

DTF: No joke, Mystery. I'm leaving...tonight.

 

ME: Derek...I'm proud of you. And I'm going to miss you.

 

Derek and Eskimo hug as the scene fades.

 

JT: *shaky voice* Fans, that was the most beautiful *sniff* beautiful moment I have ever seen in wrestling! *sniff* I have to take a break...

 

*Commercial*

 

One Fall, 15 Minute Time Limit

OAOMEF USTV Title

Thunderkid vs. JINGUS

 

JT: Fans, we're just moments away from the street fight between Thunderkid and JINGUS. Last week on Breakout, Thunderkid was disqualified in a title defense against the monster, and afterwards gave him a savage beating. But in doing so he made himself a deadly enemy, and here tonight, with no rules, the Kid has got be in big trouble.

 

Earlier tonight, the OAOMEF commissioner, the Superstar, made an announcement - next week on Breakout! There will be a special match for the No 1 contendership to the OAOMEF World Title, and it will be a match between the OAOMEF X Champion and the OAOMEF USTV Champion! So there is a HELLACIOUS amount at stake in this match coming up!...just one moment....fans, I'm getting news from backstage...let's head straight over...

 

Cut to Thunderkid's locker room, as JINGUS rips the door off by the hinges and strides in. TK is stretching out in preparation for the match, and jumps as JINGUS enters. TK tries to grab the USTV title but JINGUS lays him out with a vicious clothesline to the head. JINGUS picks up the belt and admires it, before smashing the fallen TK with it. A couple of officials rush in, but JINGUS turns to them with such a look of anger that they shrug, and one produces a ring bell. This match is on!

 

JT: A rather unusual start to this match, but we're underway! And it looks like JINGUS is going to make short work of Thunderkid!

 

JINGUS picks up TK and hurls him across the room. He slides into the wall with a cruch. JINGUS follows and throws TK out of the room into the corridor, where he collides with a passing BIG SHOW!

 

JT: WHAT? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT FAT SLOB DOING HERE?

 

Big Show roars and grabs TK for a chokeslam, but JINGUS blindsides Show, and using his MONSTEROUS strength gives him the DEVILBOMB ON THE FLOOR~!

Thunderkid looks at the possibly dead Show and at JINGUS and tries to escape down the corridor. He runs past a startled Reject and then past Chris Jericho, both of whom consider helping him out but see the raging JINGUS following and step aside. TK suddenly stops, turns and blasts JINGUS with a spinning heel kick to his head!

 

JT: Thunderkid has guts! He's standing his ground!

 

JINGUS is surprised and SELLS the kick, but soon comes back. TK ducks a couple of punches and tries a dropkick, but JINGUS swats him away and he crashes to the floor. JINGUS picks him up and again throws him throught the air. This time TK crashes through a door and into the OAOMEF weights room! Mystery Eskimo and Superstar are both there, working out! JINGUS picks up a heavy dumbell and looks to crack TK in the head with it, but Eskimo and SS try to persuade JINGUS not to actually KILL Thunderkid, but just to beat him. JINGUS shrugs and instead slams TK into a stack of weights, which collapse on top of him. ME and SS look at each other and decide to leave. JINGUS pulls TK out of the weights and covers, but the ref hasnt caught them up! Eventually the official enters...1...2...TK kicks out!

 

JT: BAH GAWD, WHAT RESILIENCE FROM THUNDERKID!

 

JINGUS looks a little puzzled for a second, and turns to grab another weapon, but TK is UP and out of the door! JINGUS turns to see TK gone and curses, before going after him. TK races into another room...only to find it full of Eskimo's fish supplies! TK curses as JINGUS catches up with him, and throws a couple of large cod at the monster, who for some reasons SELLS the fish attack! TK tries to charge but slips on the fish oil on the floor and ends up in the clutches of JINGUS, who gives him a HELLBUSTER into the piles of fish! JINGUS thinks about covering but dosnt want to end up smelling of fish - he may be a mutant monster, but he takes care of his personal hygiene. He backs out of the fish and waits, as TK crawls out of the fish. This room has a window to one side, and JINGUS hurls TK through it!

 

JT: JINGUS IS DESTROYING THUNDERKID HERE! HE'S BLEEDING EVERYWHERE!

 

The glass has opened multiple cuts in TK, and JINGUS breaks through the remains of the window and covers...1...2..NO! TK fighting on somehow. The two men are now in another corridor. TK is somehow up and as JINGUS attempts to club him back down, hits a basement dropkick to the left leg of JINGUS. Thunderkid looks around, grabs a chair, and starts to attack the leg of JINGUS repeatedly. The monster is dropped to one knee and TK signals for the Thuderbolt DDT! But JINGUS is back up and hits TK with a droopy dog slam that sends up flying down the corridor! TK pulls himself up and runs, with JINGUS limping slightly in pursuit.

 

TK runs through another corridor and emerges underneath the EskimoTron to a big pop! TK grabs a handy chair and hides by the exit until JINGUS appears, and then smashes him three times with the chair. JINGUS goes down and TK covers...1...JINGUS sits up and throws TK off him! TK shakes his head and runs down the ailse, searching for more weapons. He looks under the ring and pulls out a table and a SLEDGEHAMMER....TK grabs the hammer and charges at JINGUS with it, but the monster CATCHES the hammer and takes it from TK! Thunderkid counters by kicking the hammer into the face of JINGUS!

 

JT: Great counter by Thunderkid! And JINGUS is rocked back!

 

TK continues the attack with a dropkick, a clothesline and finally a flying forearm shot that knocks JINGUS to the ground! TK grabs the hammer and hits JINGUS in the stomach with it. JINGUS howls in pain and TK makes a cover...1...2, JINGUS kicks out. TK goes under the ring for more plunder, but JINGUS is getting up, and he grabs TK and CLAWSLAMS him over the top rope into the ring! JINGUS throws the table into the ring and follows. He sets up the table and grabs TK.

 

JT: MAH GAWD, JINGUS IS GOING TO DEVILBOMB THUNDERKID THROUGH THE TABLE!

 

TK tries to fight back, and inevitably goes for the BOOT TO THE GROIN~! but his kick as no effect! JINGUS. holding TK with one hand, grins, reaches into his tights and pulls out...the USTV title!

 

JT: BAH GAWD, HOW DID THAT GET DOWN THERE?

 

TK is SHOCKED, and JINGUS hoists him up...DEVILBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! Cover, 1...2....3!

 

Winner and NEW USTV Champion, JINGUS, via Devilbomb in 11.34

 

JINGUS holds up the USTV title and roars with triumph! “TWO~!”

 

JT: BAH GAWD, THE MONSTER HAS THE USTV TITLE, AND WITH IT A PLACE IN THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH! WHAT WILL THAT MEAN FOR THE REST OF THE OAOMEF!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

One fall, 15 minute time limit

Hulk Hogan & Michael Cole vs. Chris Benoit & Big Show

 

JT: Fans, before we get to this next contest, let me remind you of Hulk Hogan’s shocker last week…he TURNED on Chris Benoit, costing him the OAOMEF Tag Team Titles! I haven’t seen such a thing in over SIX YEARS!

 

The immortal riff of “Voodoo Chili” plays and the crowd shows its depreciation for the ICON…and Hulk Hogan. Michael Cole has shaved off the EVIL goatee, in hopes of turning ‘heel’. He is decked out in red & yellow trunks, just like his partner, brother.

 

“Whatever” hits and Chris Benoit comes out to a deafening pop from the Canadian crowd. Big Show follows suit and is met with apathy, despite his interference in the earlier USTV match. Benoit rushes to the ring to take on his NEMESIS!

 

Benoit immediately tackles Hogan and attacks him with right hands, but Cole breaks it up with a big elbow, which Show counters with a Well it’s a big Elbow of his own. MC begs off a Benoit beating, so Show clubs him from behind with a double axe handle, followed by a standing powerslam for TWO~! Hogan is trying to take a hike up the entryway, until Benoit attacks HIM from behind!

 

JT: YEAH! BEAT THAT YELLA BELLY BASTARD LIKE HE DESERVES TO BE BEATEN!

 

Hogan, however, gives Benoit a BACK RAKE! Benoit is knocked unconscious from this, as he collapses in the aisle way. Meanwhile, in the ring, Big Show and MC are going at it, until Hogan gives Big Show the back rake! As he wobbles unconsciously, Smackdown’s REAL NUMBER ONE ANNOUNCER hits his finisher, the STONE COLE STUNNER, on Big Show! Cover: 1…2…3!!!

 

Winners: Hulk Hogan & Michael Cole via a Stone Cole Stunner in 4:11.

 

JT: DAMN YOU CHEATS! BENOIT WILL GET HIS DUE!

 

*Commercial*

 

We cut backstage where we see SHARK BOY~! Walking with his OAOMEF Cruiserweight Title around his waist. He’s heading to the ring for his title defense, until…REJECT ATTACKS FROM BEHIND WITH A STEEL CHAIR! A shot to the back, TWO~!, THREE. Sharky is thrown into a wall, before finally taking a TOTAL REJECTION! Reject holds up the Cruiserweight Title, before throwing it down at Shark Boy’s carcass and walking off.

 

JT: WHAT THE FU…HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!

 

We head to the office of The Superstar, who has a look of anger on his face.

 

SS: Before anyone asks, NO, I have NO IDEA what that last segment was about. However, I promise these two will meet in a match for the cruiserweight title next week. Now about this next match, for the OAOMEF X CHAMPIONSHIP. As I mentioned before, the winner of this match will go on to face JINGUS next week to determine the #1 contender to the OAOMEF BIG GOLD BELT.

 

Now business aside, it’s time to get personal. Brock, I hate your fucking guts. You STOLE the X Title from me last week, and I promise to make your life a living hell until the day the title falls off your waist. Lucky for you, that day will be tonight. You are going up against the voodoo master himself, Papa Shango. I’ve decided that your match will be a VOODOO CURSE ON A POLE MATCH~! That’s right. Whoever retrieves the voodoo stick-a-ma-jig from the top of the pole gets to use it on his opponent, causing any type of EVIL VOODOO CURSE he wishes. Since Shango is experienced in such matches, or so I’ve heard, I PROMISE we will have a new X Champion.

 

::Chris Jericho walks into the office to a deafening pop.::

 

Y2J: Listen up, Junior. I’m sick of your ego-trip each and every week. I’m sick of seeing you screw other people in their matches out of YOUR personal enjoyment. Most of all, I’m sick of you screwing ME. Remember Week 1? I had the OAOMEF BIG GOLD BELT WON. Yet, you had to go and assign time limits to every match. I don’t think it’s possible to have a bigger ASS CLOWN as a commissioner than you, Supershit.

 

::Superstar coldly stares at Jericho before responding::

 

SS: Ok. You’re sick of me? We’ll take care of it in the ring, next week. And to ensure that nothing crazy happens, it’s going to take place in an EMPTY ARENA. That’s right; falls count ANYWHERE. You’ll have to show up next week EXTRA EARLY. Anything goes, we’ll see who the real MAN IS.

 

One fall, 15 minute time limit

OAOMEF X Championship

VOODOO CURSE ON A POLE

Papa Shango vs. Brock Lesnar ©

 

“Voodoo Master” hits and out comes Papa Shango to boos, after his vicious attack and CURSE on Lesnar last week. He’s carrying the Voodoo stick-a-ma-jig, which he hands over to the ref and tells him to take good care of it.

 

“Theme from Brock Lesnar hits and the X Champion sprints to the ring. Pre-show, any voodoo curse was erased from Lesnar to make this a fair match.

 

The two behemoths immediately slug it out, with Shango getting the better of Lesnar with right hands and shoulder blocks. Lesnar reverses a whip, however, and LARIATS Shango down. Cover gets TWO~! Shango attempts a cross-body-block (!!!!) but Lesnar catches him and hits his backbreaker combo, and another cover gets TWO~! Shango reverses a cross-corner whip and attempts the HO…err, VOODOO Train, but Lesnar moves out of the way and Shango eats turnbuckle. As he’s distracted, Lesnar starts climbing the adjacent turnbuckle to get the voodoo stick, but Shango pulls him down HARD with a sidewalk slam.

 

JT: LESNAR almost had the match won there, but Shango won’t lose THAT easily!

 

Shango drops some elbows on Lesnar, before taunting the crowd with a voodoo dance! Lesnar kips up to a huge pop, and gives Shango a HUGE belly-to-belly overhead suplex. Shango NO SELLS to resounding boos, before taking Lesnar down with a shoulder block. Lesnar no sells THAT, and gives Shango a HUGE German Suplex, which is finally sold, for TWO~!

 

JT: THIS WAS TURNING INTO A NO-SELL FEST!

 

Lesnar goes up top to attempt the Shooting Star Press~!, but Shango pulls him down…INTO THE SHOULDER BREAKER!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! THIS WILL SURELY BE IT!

 

Shango starts towards the pole, and begins climbing up. The crowd is going crazy in anticipation of Brock’s retaliation…and he DOES, by clubbing Shango from behind and HITTING A SPIDER BOMB OUT OF THE CORNER~! He doesn’t cover, but instead signals for the F5. Suddenly, Superstar runs out in attempt to distract Lesnar, but Jericho runs out in retaliation, and gives Superstar the WALLS OF JERICHO (LIONTAMER STYLE~!) in the aisle! Superstar is tapping like a drunk man!

 

JT: YES! GIVE THAT RAT BASTARD WHAT HE HAD COMIN’ TO HIM JERICHO! GITTIM!

 

Lesnar laughs it off, but in the distraction, Shango has climbed the pole…and RETRIEVED THE VOODOO STICK! He takes a wild swing at Lesnar, who ducks! Shango is taken up on the shoulders, F5!! F5!! F5!! Lesnar grabs the Voodoo Stick, and a microphone.

Lesnar: My curse…is that you will NEVER show up in the OAOMEF AGAIN! My mic skills suck!

 

With a magic wave of the wand, Shango is cursed! Lesnar covers: 1…TWO~!…3!

 

Winner, and still champion: Brock Lesnar in 7:55 via an F5 and VOODOO CURSE~!

 

JT: What a night this is! No more Shango, and Brock will fight JINGUS in the #1 Contender’s match next week, which will surely be a SLOBBERKNOCKER~! Folks, up next, all the time for talking is over. It’s Eskimo and Angle-plex, one on one in the HELL IN A CELL. The most dangerous match ever, and it’s for the OAOMEF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

*Commercial*

[Guest The Superstar]

One fall, no time limit

HELL IN A CELL

OAOMEF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

Mystery Eskimo © vs. Angle-plex

 

"Smack my bitch up" blasts out and Angle-plex walks out, getting both cheers and boos from the crowd. There are none of AP's usual sneers and taunts to the fans - tonight he looks deadly serious. AP slowly walks down and into the cell, where he starts to stretch and warm up.

 

AP's music cuts, and there is a long silence, in which the crowd gets increasingly hotter. At last, "Ice Ice Baby" plays and Mystery Eskimo walks out to the ring, holding the OAOMEF world title in his right hand. Eskimo too looks concentrated, and heads straight for the cell. In the ring, he hands the big gold belt to the referee, and...offers a hand to AP! Angle-plex looks surprised, but after a second shakes.

 

JT: Both these men know the importance of this match and the quality of the opponent, and that shows in that sign of respect.

 

The crowd pops big for the handshake, and Eskimo and AP turn without fear of cheapshots. They each wait in a corner as the Cell is locked and the referee places the title belt securely outside the ring.

ME and AP come out of their corners to a pop and as the bell rings immediately lock up. AP gains the upper hand and forces ME into a corner, but the referee forces a break, which both men make cleanly.

 

They lock up again, and this time Eskimo forces AP back into the ropes, and there is another clean break.

 

JT: No cheap tactics so far tonight, these men want to end this cleanly and decisively!

 

AP hints at a third lock up but instead goes for the arm, applying an arm bar and forcing ME down to one knee. But Eskimo is able to counter with a roll and a side kick to the chest of AP! But Plex gets straight back up and as Eskimo moves in uses an arm-drag takeover. ME jumps back up but AP again drags him over as he charges. ME is up again, but a little disorientated, and AP is able to nail him with a belly to belly suplex, which gets a 2 on the first cover of the match.

AP gets Eskimo up and bounces him off the ropes, nailing the Eskimo with a clothesline. AP picks ME up and delivers a backbreaker, which gets another 2 count. AP tries for the backbreaker again, but Eskimo wriggles free and tries for his Penguin Kick on AP, who ducks and clotheslines ME to the mat again.

 

JT: Angle-plex dominating in the early stages of this match...what can Eskimo do to turn the tide?

 

AP covers but only gets 1 this time. Eskimo is pulling himself up, so AP clips his legs and goes for the ANKLELOCK to a pop, but Eskimo quickly scrambles for the ropes and the ref breaks them up. AP advances on ME again but Eskimo catches him into a cradle that gets 2 before AP reverses it for another 2, and Eskimo reverses that for 2. They break and both kip up to a pop. Eskimo swings for AP but is still a little off balance from the punishment he's absorbed, and AP easily ducks and nails ME with a DDT. AP hits a jumping legdrop and covers for 2.

 

JT: Still no respite for the world champion. Mystery Eskimo. Angle-plex is relentless in his pursuit of the belt!

 

AP grabs ME and pulls him up into a suplex, which he holds for a good 20 seconds before crashing Eskimo to the mat. AP covers for 2, and looks frustrated when Eskimo kicks out. Plex stomps on Eskimo and then waits for him to get up before clotheslining him back down. Again, AP waits for ME to get back to his feet.

 

JT: AP making Eskimo waste energy getting up! Cunning tactics from Plex.

 

As AP goes for another clotheline, ME ducks and dropkicks Plex, who goes down. But AP is still first to his feet and as Eskimo gets up on a knee hits a SHINING WIZARD to a big pop! Plex busting out all the moves tonight. AP covers, 1...2...Eskimo's foot is on the bottom rope! AP is furious and starts to swing for the ref, but controls himself at the last moment, not wanting to ruin his last, big chance for the OAOMEF title. AP signal for the ANGLE-PLEX but Eskimo fights him off with stiff chops to the chest. Eskimo throws AP off the ropes but AP dodges and nails Eskimo with a superkick! Plex covers...1...2...no, Eskimo kicks out. This time AP dosn't show any anger and immediatly goes back on the attack, with a flurry of kicks to the gut of Eskimo, who rolls out of the ring to escape. AP follows him out and throws Eskimo into the side of the cell. AP picks ME up and again throws him into the cell, and then rubs his face into the metal. Eskimo collapses to his knees and AP dropkicks his head into the cage!

 

JT: BAH GAWD, ESKIMO'S HEAD SMASHED INTO THE CELL! HE'S BUSTED OPEN!

 

Eskimo is bleeding as AP picks him up and delivers a short powerbomb onto the floor! ME appears to be out cold and AP grins as he stomps a mudhole in him. AP attempts to roll ME back into the ring, but somehow Eskimo is still fighting and elbows AP in the face to escape his grasp. ME staggers back away from AP, but Plex charges and SPEARS Eskimo into the ring steps! Eskimo cuts himself on the steps and is now bleeding from his shoulder. AP gets up first and kicks Eskimo in the head again. AP grabs Eskimo and delivers a release german suplex that sends Eskimo crashing into the cell! AP picks him up and repeats the move. The cell starts to buckle a little, and AP repeats the move once more and the side of the cell starts to give way!

 

JT: OH MAH GAWD, ANGLE-PLEX IS USING THE BODY OF ESKIMO TO BUST THROUGH THE SIDE OF THE CELL!

 

AP picks up Eskimo and this time just hurls him at the cell, which gives way and Eskimo crashes out onto the floor below. The fans pop big! Eskimo is bleeding heavily and is only barely conscious on the floor next to the announce table. AP climbs out through the hole in the cell and grabs Eskimo, who tries a few punches but they're so weak that AP shrugs them off easily. AP clears the monitors from the OAOMEF announce table!

 

JT: WHAT ARE YOU DOING PLEX? MAH GAWD, WHY DON'T WE HAVE A SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE IN THE OAOMEF!

 

JT gets up and moves aside as AP attempts to suplex ME through the table, but it won't break! Eskimo hits hard onto the table. AP shakes his head...and starts to climb the cell! He gets about half way up, and then manages to leap off with a flying elbow onto Eskimo that smashes him through the table!

 

JT: BAH GAWD! PLEX JUST LEAPT OFF THE CELL! ESKIMO MUST BE DEAD, BAH GAWD! SOMEONE CALL THE PARAMEDICS!

 

Neither man is moving in the remains of the table. The referee is checking frantically on both men, and Plex is signalling that he's ok. AP slowly gets to his feet and drags Eskimo out of the debris. ME is out cold. AP tries to drag him back into the cell for a pin but can't get through the hole in the cell. The referee shouts at Plex to get back in the ring, and AP starts to argue with him. Somehow, Eskimo starts moving and pulling himself up onto the cage. AP still argues with the ref, his back to Eskimo, and so dosnt see ME slowly climbing up the cell!

 

JT: Eskimo is trying ANYTHING to escape this vicious attack by Angle-plex! Eskimo just trying to buy some time to recover on top of the cell!

 

Eskimo reaches the top and collapses. AP stops arguing and turns, and is SHOCKED to see Eskimo is gone. He looks all around, before finally looking up and seeing Eskimo prone on top of the cell! AP shakes his head, but starts to climb after Eskimo. ME sees him coming and starts to crawl across the top of cell, clearly trying to climb down the other side and escape. But AP reaches the top and strides over to Eskimo. Eskimo gets to his feet and the two men start to slug it out! For the first time in the match, Eskimo gains the upperhand, and gives AP a scoop slam onto the cell, which shakes. Eskimo pulls AP up...and hits a BLIZZARD BOMB!

 

JT: MAH GAWD! A BLIZZARD BOMB! AP MUST BE OUT COLD! BUT PINFALLS MUST BE IN THE RING UNDER OAOMEF RULES! WHAT NEXT? BAH GAWD, WHAT NEXT?

 

The effort of the fight back leaves ME weak, and he falls to his knees next to the AP, who twitches and rolls over onto his side, slowly starting to regain his senses. The panel of the cell which AP hit is a little weakened, and Eskimo starts to work on it!

 

JT: WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ESKIMO, YOU DAMN FOOL?

 

Eskimo stomps on the cell, and a part clearly comes loose! The crowd is now rapid, as clearly someone is going through the cell! Eskimo, satisfied with his work, turns to get AP, but Plex is UP and dropkicks ME, who falls backwards onto the loose part of the roof, which sags but dosnt give way! Plex leaps ontop of Eskimo and rains punches on his head, as the cell underneath them bends more and more!

 

JT: BOTH MEN ARE GOING TO GO THROUGH! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ANGLE-PLEX, GET UP! GET UP!

 

AP rolls off Eskimo, and picks him up! AP tries to deliver a powerbomb to Eskimo onto the cell, but ME does the Kidman reverse and slams AP's face into the cell...and BOTH men crash through and down onto the ring! The crowd erupts!

 

JT: END THE MATCH! END IT NOW, BAH GAWD!

 

The cage is unlocked and a cluster of referees and medics rush into the ring, checking on both men. Stretchers are brought into the ring as the crowd chants for both men. AP is loaded onto a stretcher, bleeding and out cold. But there are signs of life from Eskimo! He moves his head...he's shaking his head! The chants for Eskimo get louder, and somehow he pulls himself up with the aid of a couple of refs, who look bewildered. Will the match continue?

 

At the top of the ramp JINGUS, Superstar, Thunderkid, Reject, Derek and a cluster of other OAOMEF stars assemble to watch the carnage.

 

In the ring, Eskimo is UP! The medics are trying to get Plex out through the cage door, when he suddenly sits up! The crowd roars! Plex gets off the stretcher and back into the ring. The medics shrug and leave the cell. Ref's check on both men...they're going to continue! AP and ME limp towards each other and slap hands in respect, before starting to exchange punches!

 

JT: I CAN NOT BELIEVE THESE MEN ARE STILL FIGHTING! THIS IS HOW BAD THEY WANT TO BE WORLD CHAMPION!

 

ME whips AP off the ropes and swings him round with a spinbuster! ME, rejuvenated by adrenaline, climbs to the top rope and comes off with his Flying Icicle Headbutt, which connects with the head of AP! Both men are down again, but Eskimo crawls over and drapes an arm...1...2...NO, AP kicks out at the last minute. Both men crawl up but Eskimo reacts quickest and drags AP into the FROSTBITE FACELOCK! AP shouts in pain and ME shouts too as he wrenches back the hold. But AP is not tapping, and is able to free his arm and elbow ME in the head, causing Eskimo to loosen his grip. AP takes advantage by wriggling free.

 

JT: EVEN THE FROSTBITE COULDN'T END THIS! WHAT WILL IT TAKE!

 

Eskimo charges in, but is met with a kick to the head, AP grabs Eskimo, ANGLE-PLEX! 1..2...NO!

 

JT: BAH GAWD! ESKIMO KICKED OUT OF THE ANGLE-PLEX! WHAT NEXT!

 

AP tries for the Angle-plex again, but Eskimo blocks and hits his own version of the move! 1...2...NO! Eskimo goes straight for the frostbite, but AP escapes, clothslines Eskimo and goes for the Frostbite himself! But AP dosnt get the hold on fully and ME escapes. Eskimo charges at AP and hits a flying body press, but AP rolls with it and cradles ME! 1...2...NO, Eskimo out!

 

JT: MAH GAWD, ANOTHER NEAR FALL! THE FANS ARE GOING WILD! THE OAOMEF WRESTLERS ARE WATCHING ON! WHO WILL BE THEIR CHAMPION?

 

Both men are up, and Eskimo hits the IGLOO DDT! 1...2....NO! 2.999999! Eskimo curses, and tries a KILLERWHALEPLEX! 1...2...NO! Eskimo tries for another KWP, but AP reverses the fullnelson and hits one of his own! 1...2...NO! The fans are counting along with the referee, and get louder on each pin attempt. Both men are bleeding and sweating and exhausted. Eskimo has AP up, and goes for the Blizzard Bomb, but AP headbutts ME, grabs the leg, ANGLE-PLEX! 1...2....THREE!

 

JT: THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! NEW CHAMPION! NEW WORLD CHAMPION!

 

Winner, and NEW OAOMEF World Heavyweight Champion, ANGLE-PLEX! viz the angle-plex in 25.34

 

AP raises his hands in triumph as his music hits and the OAOMEF crowd go wild for the new champ! Eskimo picks himself up and snatches the OAOMEF belt from the referee!

 

JT: NO ESKIMO! DON'T TAINT THIS MATCH!

 

Eskimo advances on AP with the belt, but instead of hitting him with it, hands it to him and raises the arm of Angle-Plex!

 

JT: YES! ESKIMO IS HONOURABLE IN DEFEAT!

 

Pyros start to erupt throughout the arena in honour of the new champion. The OAOMEF wrestlers run down and meet AP and ME as they leave the cell, congratulating both men. The OAOMEF crowd gives them a standing ovation as they leave.

 

JT: WHAT A MATCH, WHAT A NIGHT HERE IN THE OAOMEF! A NEW CHAMPION! THAT'S WHAT THE OAOMEF IS ALL ABOUT, NEW CHAMPIONS AND NEW STARS! BAH GAWD, MAKE SURE YOU TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO SEE WHO WILL STEP UP TO CHALLENGE ANGLE-PLEX FOR THE BIG GOLD BELT! I'VE BEEN JT WHEELER, GOODNITE EVERYBODY!

 

© 2002 OAOMEF Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.

 

Executive Producers

The Superstar

Mystery Eskimo

 

*MUCH, MUCH LOVE to Eskimo for the amazing main event! Thank you and tune in NEXT WEEK~!*