Promo: Why Can't We Be Friends?

[Guest Mr. Slim Citrus]

The chronology of this promo is on the Metal card, after the #1 Contender's match, and the first commercial break. Before anyone asks, I asked Goodear for permission to use Ejiro in this promo before I wrote it... Uh, Insanityman, I guess I forgot to ask you if I could use Tim; I don't think I went out of his character, but I apoligize all the same:

 

 

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Back at ringside, Axis and Suicide King are facing the camera. "Later on tonight," says Axis, "we're going to see the European Champion, Tim Dillon, defend the title against Wildchild. Right now, standing backstage with the champion and the challenger, let's go to our Man in the Street, Ben Hardy."

 

The camera cuts to an interview area backstage, where Ben Hardy is standing between Tim Dillon and Wildchild, with all three men standing in front of a video camera. "I'm standing here with Wildchild and the European Champion, Tim Dillon," says Ben, "who will, in just a few short moments, head out of the building and over to McCaughlin's, a local Irish pub right down the street from the RBC Center. Tim, I'm sure you feel as though you've got the advantage with the match being held in a bar. I mean, that is your home away from home, isn't it?"

 

The wiry champion is looks relaxed as he faces his challenger with his title belt slung over his shoulder and held tightly to his chest, his intense green eyes dancing with mirth. "Aye, laddie, I'll never feel out of place in a pub, and I'm lookin' forward to taking Wildchild down there, to teach him a thing or two about Irish ale. But ye' see, I'm not lookin' for a fight. No, me an' th Wildchild here, we're gonna knock back a few pints, get ta' know each other, and maybe even find a lass or two to take back to the hotel room." At this, Tim's face breaks out in a wide grin.

 

Ben starts to sputter, "B-b-b-but Tim, the commissioner has decreed that the two of you have to compete against each other for the European Title. It's supposed to be a match, not a social visit."

 

Still smiling, Tim looked back and forth between Ben Hardy and Wildchild before saying, "now, let's not get hasty, lad... How 'bout we all three head on down to the pub, toss a few pints, and talk it over."

 

At this, Wildchild breaks into a wide grin and claps his arm on Hardy's shoulder. "Oui, monsieur Hardy, all t'ree ov us, we go on down to de pub, oui? We drink som' beers, we gon' have a good time, eh?"

 

Ben shifts his eyes nervously towards Wildchild. "Well, maybe I could go, just to make sure a match actually takes place..."

 

Wildchild pulls Ben side by side with him. "Monsieur Hardy, you worry too much. I'm t'inkin' you don't get to relax enough. Come. You gon' go wit' us. We all gon' have a good time! We gon' party like Junkanoo!"

 

As Tim, Wildchild and Ben start to exit stage right, they come face to face with Ejiro Fasaki, his body still drenched with sweat, having just finished his match. Ejiro's eyes narrow as his face screws into a scowl directed towards Wildchild. "You know, if anybody should be facing Dillon for that belt tonight, it ought to be me. I still don't understand why you're getting a shot at the European Title tonight. A shot that you didn't earn.

 

"I mean, look at you: you've got a losing record since coming to the SJL." Ejiro walks right up to Wildchild and turns his face up slightly, so that they are nose to nose. "You're a loser. And, all the while, you continue to sell your self-respect to these fans, dressing up like a clown and bouncing around like a doped-up lunatic.When are you going to stand up for yourself, kid? When are you going to realize that the fans are only cheering for you because you're killing yourself for their amusement? Do you really think that any of these fans will care about you when you're sent back to the Bahamas in a pine box after you break your neck for a cheap pop?" Ejiro's eyes narrow even further, as if angered by the very thought. "Do you really think they give a damn about you? They're only cheering for you until the newest flavor of the month comes along, and then nobody will care about you unless you're in some kind of hardcore match, or ladder match. Putting your very life at risk to get them to cheer for the two or three seconds that they're actually paying attention.

 

"Come to your senses, kid. You're young, you still have time to see the light. Don't let those people influence you. Don't let them pressure you into doing something that'll put you in a wheelchair before you're 22. Take some friendly advice..."

 

Before Ejiro could get any further, however, Wildchild interrupted him by bringing his hand up between his face and Ejiro's. "Monsieur Fasaki, I'm t'inkin' you been wrapped a little too tight lately. I'm t'inkin' you need to loosen up. Why don' you come on down to de pub wit' us, eh? Mebbe we fin' you a good woman, she take goo' care o' you, relax you up real good, oui?" Ejiro glares at Wildchild, his eyes throwing daggers, as Tim Dillon struggles to contain a laugh in the background.

 

Ejiro continues to glare at Wildchild, too angry to speak. Wildchild, thinking their dialogue was over, shrugs his shoulders, and turns around to walk away with Tim and Ben. He glances back at Ejiro, saying "somet'in' you mebbe t'ink about, oui?

 

The camera focuses in tight on Ejiro's face as Dillon, Hardy and Wildchild walk off-screen. Ejiro, still burning holes into the back of Wildchild's skull, mutters to himself, "yeah, I'll give you something to think about."

 

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT

[Guest Goodear]

Wow. That's a damn fine Fasaki! Totally fits with his character and everything, and yet not too heelish as he's actually sort of looking out for WC... good one.

[Guest Insanityman]

Heh, dude, you can use Dillon anytime. Nice promo... very, very nice promo.

[Guest Powerplay]

Goddamn, I love how WC speaks. The Cajun-ness of it simply rocks. Both Tim and Ejiro look to have been done to a tee. Great, great job.