Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2002 Lineup: Tournament Bracket one: Marty Jannetty v. La Parka The Ultimate Hoss (to be revealed in his true form) v. Norman Smiley Bracket two: Kevin Nash v. Al Greene Undertaker v. Burger King James (the former Road Dogg) Bracket three: Triple H v. Kurt Angle Kane v. The Testmaster (aka Test, the outed 'third brother' in the UT/Kane family) Bracket four: Randy Savage v. Chris Candido Sting v. The Abortionist and now Bracket five has four tag teams, the matchups there will be: Tag Champions Jeff Jarrett and X-Pac against Jeff Hardy and Alex Wright Sid and the Big Show against The Hossmen (Albert and Randy Orton) Other matches: For the Big Gold Belt: Big Gold Belt holder David Arquette defends against former champion Vince Russo IN A FIFTEEN FOOT STEEL CAGE Jerry Lawler will take on Molly Holly in a 'Singapore Justice' match. If Lawler wins, Molly has to reveal her BUTT to the crowd. If Molly wins, she gets to hit Lawler in the genitals with a singapore cane for three minutes. Honky Tonk Man will take on Billy Gunn. If Honky wins, then Billy becomes Rockabilly for a month. If Billy wins, Honky becomes the new stylist for Billy and Chuck for a month. Also.. Stevie Ray and two partners face off against The Head Hunters and Kamala in the 'never ending curtainjerker angle' and a SPECIAL MAIN EVENT WITH WILL ELEVATE SOMEBODY TO THE TOP! time for the show! Vince Russo shows up and announces the Special Main Event, Hurricane and Kane will face HHH and Jericho in a Casket Match to FINALLY blow off Kane and HHH's feud. The guest referee will also dispense a BLOWOFF Meanwhile, Stevie Ray's new partners are the New Blackjacks, and they sure are mad. The Head Hunters and Kamala defeated Stevie Ray, Barry Windham and Bradshaw when Kamala pinned Windham with the Air Africa in 0:00:58. Rating: -1/2* Bradshaw and Stevie sulk off, only hoping for some double teaming later. We hear Hurricane talk about how the main event will settle everything and HHH will be destroyed by Kane. Marty Jannetty declares that he will win and finally become a bigger star than La Parka First Blood Cage Match: Marty Jannetty defeated La Parka in 0:01:12. Rating: 3/4* La Parka tries to attack Marty, but then he unmasks as DDP, flesh with blood pouring out of his head. Page then reveals that he was La Parka all along! Triple H declares that Kane killed Mother Theresa, "but the question is, did you screw her while she was alive, or after she died?" The Ultimate Hoss promises to unmask if he loses. Texas Death Match: Norman Smiley made The Ultimate Hoss submit to a single-leg takedown into a leglock in 0:16:25. Rating: * 3/4 The Ultimate Hoss unmasks as "Dr. Death" Steve Williams! Sure, the fans expected it, but they are STUNNED. Shit! Not Steve Williams! Williams challenges Bart Gunn to a 'Brawl For All' match. Jesse James explains that since he smokes pot and eats hamburgers, he needs alot of viagra to get it up. Undertaker 'just ain't feeling it' Viagra on a Pole Match: The Undertaker pinned Jesse James with the Last Ride in 0:06:40. Rating: * During the match, the Undertaker hit 0.9 after getting hit by Road Dogg's knee drop. As Undertaker goes to the back with his viagra, his pregnant wife comes out and hits him with a chair, she screams "THE BABY ISN'T YOURS! IT'S MAVEN'S!" Maven then comes out to smile nervously with Sara. Kevin Nash steals the Undertaker's viagra as Nash is wheeled to the ring. Match: Kevin Nash goes for a kneelift, but Al Greene side-steps and Kevin Nash only hits air. Al Greene acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him. Al Greene tries to put Kevin Nash in the car. Al Greene stuffs Kevin Nash in the car. Al Greene closes the door. Al Greene is starting to get more cheers than boos. Car Match: Al Greene defeated Kevin Nash in 0:07:42. Rating: -* Meanwhile, Honky Tonk Man sings. During the match, King Kong Bundy ran out in an Elvis suit to aid Honky Tonk Man, but that did not work.. end of match: Billy Gunn catches Honky Tonk Man in a side headlock. Honky Tonk Man is inching his way towards the ropes. Honky Tonk Man is writhing in pain. Earl Hebner tells Honky Tonk Man to respond or he'll stop the fight. Honky Tonk Man doesn't respond. Earl Hebner stops the fight after 21 seconds. Billy Gunn is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. The winner is Billy Gunn. Time of match: 0:16:28 Billy Gunn made Honky Tonk Man submit to a side headlock in 0:16:28. Rating: ** The Testmaster moans about the lack of pants to slap. Kane is sorta mellow after being accused of raping Mother Teresa. Kane declares that he will crush HHH and end the feud ONCE AND FOR ALL. Casket Match: Kane defeated The Testmaster in 0:04:34. Rating: 1/2* Kurt Angle walks around in a giant condom outfit as HHH laughs. HHH promises that he will finally shut up Kane in their match and end it all. [Corpse Fuckin Match]: Ladder Match: Kurt Angle made Triple H submit to the Ankle Lock in 0:04:09. Rating: *** Angle celebrates after being the first person to ever win by submission in a ladder match. Angle then is swarmed by an army of disco dancers as HHH climbs the ladder and retrieve Katie Fick's panties. Vince Russo declares that since Kurt Angle didn't actually climb the ladder, HHH will move on in the tournament to face Kane next show. Singapore Cane Falls-Count-Anywhere Match: Molly Holly pinned Jerry Lawler after a Northern Lights suplex in 0:07:33. Rating: ** 1/4 after Lawler lost, Molly waited for her shot to begin the caning, but then THE ISLAND BOYS CAME OUT AT LIKE 3 MINUTES IN, they beat up Molly, puncturing her lungs and breaking her legs before leaving. Russo declared that since the Island Boys were there, they would replace Orton and Albert in the match. Sid Vicious and Paul Wight defeated Rosey and Jamal when Big Show pinned Jamal with the Choke Slam in 0:08:03. Rating: -* 3/4 After the match, Russo furiously trades Big Show to the Bengals and declares Sid will have to find a new partner. Chris Candido trains with the other Oompa Loompas in the back. Randy Savage sure would like to have some viagra. Viagra on a Pole Match: Randy Savage pinned Chris Candido with the Flying Elbow-Drop in 0:05:59. Rating: * 1/2 Sting is out of his match, but Shawn Michaels rises from his chair, heals the blind and takes over the match. The Abortionist wants the choice to win tonight. Cross Match: The Abortionist defeated Shawn Michaels in 0:08:50. Rating: ** 1/2 The Abortionist tries to put Shawn Michaels on the Cross. The Abortionist puts Shawn Michaels on the Cross. The attendants carry Shawn Michaels back to the locker room. The Abortionist further incites the crowd. Shawn Michaels ascends to heaven. The crowd cheers. Buried Alive Match: Russo Order (Jeff Jarrett and X-Pac) defeated Alex Wright and Jeff Hardy in 0:01:50. Rating: * 1/4 (Russo Order (Jeff Jarrett and X-Pac) retained the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) No-Countout-No-DQ-Cage Match: Vince Russo defeated David Arquette by escaping the cage in 0:06:09. Rating: -***** (Vince Russo won the Big Gold Belt.) [The Ultimate Blowoff!]: Casket No-Time-Limit-Match with Special Referee Paul Bearer: Chris Jericho hits a flying back elbowsmash on Kane. Chris Jericho whips Kane into the ropes. Kane hits Chris Jericho with an elbow. Kane tries to put Chris Jericho in the Casket. Kane stuffs Chris Jericho in the Casket. Kane closes the lid. The crowd is cheering on Kane. The winners are Shane Helms and Kane. Time of match: 0:09:11 Shane Helms and Kane defeated Chris Jericho and Triple H in 0:09:19. Rating: * 1/4 FINALLY THE KANE/HHH FEUD IS OVER AS HHH PROVES PEOPLE WRONG WHO SAYS THAT HE ALWAYS GOES OVER IN FEUDS! Oh yeah, after the match, HHH pedigreed Kane and Hurricane. Uh.. yeah. NEXT SHOW: Tournament- Norman Smiley v. Marty Jannetty The Undertaker v. Al Greene Kane v. HHH Randy Savage v. The Abortionist Jeff Jarrett and X-Pac v. Sid and a partner Other matches- Big Gold Belt match: Vince Russo faces recent WWE firee name withheld, will Russo lose his belt to this man who was recently fired from the WWE? Billy and Chuck (w/ their stylist Honky Tonk Man) v. King Kong Bundy and Road Dogg Dr. Death v. Bart Gunn in Brawl for All Testmaster v. Albert in a 'winner wears pants' match "The Parka" Diamond Dallas Page v. Mr. Hughes Kurt Angle will be punished for his match. Kurt Angle faces Nailz. Stevie Ray and Bradshaw v. Jeff Hardy and Alex Wright in a 'soap on a rope' match -------- comments for this card and predictions for the next card are welcome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
